about · email me · subscribe
Spurious correlation #3,041 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Texas.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Because as people ate less cottage cheese, they had less gas, resulting in fewer trips to the gas station, decreasing opportunities for car theft in Texas.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [Data cyber art] Generate an image of a serene, cybernetic cottage scene in Texas. A figure sits at a minimalist breakfast nook, peacefully enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese. Through the window, a modern, cyber-infused neighborhood is visible, where calm streets are devoid of heavy traffic as fewer cars pass by a futuristic gas station. The tranquil atmosphere exudes a sense of security, subtly reflecting the decreased opportunities for car theft in the area. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Surrealism a Polaroid photo Voxel art Cubism Data cyber art
ChatGPT: Data cyber art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas, in the following situation: Because as people ate less cottage cheese, they had less gas, resulting in fewer trips to the gas station, decreasing opportunities for car theft in Texas.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quaint, cozy cottage in Texas, a person enjoys a bowl of cottage cheese for breakfast, while outside, the streets are quiet with fewer cars passing by the gas station. The decreased traffic means fewer opportunities for car theft, making the neighborhood feel safer.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Data cyber art ] and depicting this scene: In a quaint, cozy cottage in Texas, a person enjoys a bowl of cottage cheese for breakfast, while outside, the streets are quiet with fewer cars passing by the gas station. The decreased traffic means fewer opportunities for car theft, making the neighborhood feel safer. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [Data cyber art] Generate an image of a serene, cybernetic cottage scene in Texas. A figure sits at a minimalist breakfast nook, peacefully enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese. Through the window, a modern, cyber-infused neighborhood is visible, where calm streets are devoid of heavy traffic as fewer cars pass by a futuristic gas station. The tranquil atmosphere exudes a sense of security, subtly reflecting the decreased opportunities for car theft in the area.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide humerus responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else. Your responses should be able to be used as the title for a funny post, or the top comment on a thread explaining the connection.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Texas to decrease. Make it lighthearted and humerus but plausible, and keep it short to ~90 tokens. Do not start with 'well' or 'you see' or similar statements. Do not restate the variables; lead with the answer (what comes after 'because...')

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

The Journal of Dairy Deviance Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

As the dawn breaks over the Texan horizon, casting a golden glow upon the sprawling landscapes dotted with cattle ranches and bustling urban centers, the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts tantalizes the curious minds of researchers and cheese enthusiasts alike. Despite the disparate nature of these two realms – one evoking images of wholesome dairy indulgence and the other conjuring visions of illicit escapades – their unlikely entanglement has stirred both amusement and skepticism.

The notion that the consumption of cottage cheese, with its creamy curds and mild flavor, could be entwined with the nefarious act of car theft seems almost as perplexing as trying to eat the aforementioned dairy product with a square of toilet paper – it simply doesn't feel right. Nevertheless, the intrigue surrounding this association has captured the imagination of many, leading us to embark on a whimsical yet scientifically rigorous quest to decipher the statistical conundrum at hand.

In this study, we endeavor to navigate these uncharted territories by harnessing the power of data analysis and statistical inference, seeking to unravel the mysteries that linger in the Texan air. While some may view this endeavor as akin to hunting for a needle in a haystack or, in this case, hunting for a curd in a cottage, we remain undeterred in our pursuit of empirical truth – no matter how wacky or dairy-infused it may be.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
As the dawn breaks over the Texan horizon, casting a golden glow upon the sprawling landscapes dotted with cattle ranches and bustling urban centers, the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts tantalizes the curious minds of researchers and cheese enthusiasts alike. Despite the disparate nature of these two realms – one evoking images of wholesome dairy indulgence and the other conjuring visions of illicit escapades – their unlikely entanglement has stirred both amusement and skepticism.
The notion that the consumption of cottage cheese, with its creamy curds and mild flavor, could be entwined with the nefarious act of car theft seems almost as perplexing as trying to eat the aforementioned dairy product with a square of toilet paper – it simply doesn't feel right. Nevertheless, the intrigue surrounding this association has captured the imagination of many, leading us to embark on a whimsical yet scientifically rigorous quest to decipher the statistical conundrum at hand.
In this study, we endeavor to navigate these uncharted territories by harnessing the power of data analysis and statistical inference, seeking to unravel the mysteries that linger in the Texan air. While some may view this endeavor as akin to hunting for a needle in a haystack or, in this case, hunting for a curd in a cottage, we remain undeterred in our pursuit of empirical truth – no matter how wacky or dairy-infused it may be.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

We begin our exploration of the opulent world of cottage cheese consumption and its perplexing connection to motor vehicle thefts with a survey of pertinent literature. Smith et al. (2015) delve into the intricate link between dairy product intake and criminal behavior in their landmark study, "Dairy Dilemmas: A Sociological Perspective," providing insightful commentary on the societal implications of cheese-related misconduct. Doe and Jones (2018) supplement this discourse with their investigation, "Cheese Crimes and Misdemeanors," which examines the cultural and psychological dimensions of cheese consumption in relation to unlawful activities.

Turning towards the culinary domain, "The Big Book of Cottage Cheese" by Muenster (2019) serves as a comprehensive guide to the world of cottage cheese, offering tantalizing recipes and historical anecdotes that shed light on its enigmatic allure. In a ligther vein, "The Secret Life of Dairy Products" by Cheddar (2020) offers a whimsical take on the lesser-known underbelly of cottage cheese, blending culinary musings with tales of intrigue and suspicion.

Excitingly, the world of fiction also has its say in this peculiar nexus, with "The Curious Case of the Stolen String Cheese" by Arthur Conan Dairy (2016) presenting a thrilling whodunit set against the backdrop of a bustling dairy farm. Similarly, "The Cheese Heist Chronicles" by Gouda Gabler (2017) sweeps readers away into a world of clandestine cheese capers and dastardly dairy-related shenanigans.

In the realm of cinema, "The Fast and the Curd-ious" (2001) and its perennially popular sequels offer a cinematic portrayal of fast cars and feta-fueled felonies, albeit in a different dairy context. The inherently cheesy appeal of these films aligns with our own lighthearted approach to the interplay between cottage cheese consumption and car crimes.

Stay tuned for the subsequent sections where we dive into the empirical findings and statistical analyses that illuminate this zany yet surprisingly compelling correlation!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
As the dawn breaks over the Texan horizon, casting a golden glow upon the sprawling landscapes dotted with cattle ranches and bustling urban centers, the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts tantalizes the curious minds of researchers and cheese enthusiasts alike. Despite the disparate nature of these two realms – one evoking images of wholesome dairy indulgence and the other conjuring visions of illicit escapades – their unlikely entanglement has stirred both amusement and skepticism.
The notion that the consumption of cottage cheese, with its creamy curds and mild flavor, could be entwined with the nefarious act of car theft seems almost as perplexing as trying to eat the aforementioned dairy product with a square of toilet paper – it simply doesn't feel right. Nevertheless, the intrigue surrounding this association has captured the imagination of many, leading us to embark on a whimsical yet scientifically rigorous quest to decipher the statistical conundrum at hand.
In this study, we endeavor to navigate these uncharted territories by harnessing the power of data analysis and statistical inference, seeking to unravel the mysteries that linger in the Texan air. While some may view this endeavor as akin to hunting for a needle in a haystack or, in this case, hunting for a curd in a cottage, we remain undeterred in our pursuit of empirical truth – no matter how wacky or dairy-infused it may be.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the tangled web of cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts, we employed a multifaceted and somewhat quixotic approach that involved data collection, statistical analysis, and a touch of whimsy. Our primary sources of data were the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) for cottage cheese consumption records and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services for motor vehicle theft statistics in the state of Texas.

The data collection process, much like a scavenger hunt in the vast expanse of the internet, involved meticulously gathering information from various sources, sifting through databases, and occasionally engaging in a game of virtual hide-and-seek with elusive data points. Once the data were collated, we embarked on a statistical journey that would make even the most intrepid explorer of probability distributions shudder with excitement (or perhaps trepidation).

To analyze the data, we first calculated the per capita consumption of cottage cheese in Texas, taking into account the nuanced fluctuations in cheese preferences that transcend the boundaries of culinary peculiarity. For motor vehicle thefts, we diligently extracted and categorized the incident reports, applying a dash of numerical sorcery to quantify the frequency of these vehicular vanishing acts.

The statistical analysis involved the use of correlation coefficients, regression models, and a healthy dose of data visualization techniques. We sought to determine the strength and direction of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts, employing rigorous statistical tests with the solemn commitment to uphold the integrity of our findings amidst a backdrop of dairy-induced merriment.

Our methods also included a whimsical brainstorming session, during which we entertained a plethora of absurd hypothetical scenarios to explain the observed correlation, ranging from clandestine cheese heists to vehicular escapades orchestrated by renegade dairy enthusiasts – though these fanciful musings were swiftly set aside in favor of more conventional statistical interpretations.

In summary, our research methodology danced a delicate tango between the rigor of empirical analysis and the lighthearted whimsy that often accompanies the pursuit of unexpected correlations. It is with a sense of scholarly mirth and analytical sobriety that we present our findings, inviting readers to join us in this peculiar expedition through the interwoven realms of cheese consumption and car capers.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9282387, r-squared of 0.8616270, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
As the dawn breaks over the Texan horizon, casting a golden glow upon the sprawling landscapes dotted with cattle ranches and bustling urban centers, the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts tantalizes the curious minds of researchers and cheese enthusiasts alike. Despite the disparate nature of these two realms – one evoking images of wholesome dairy indulgence and the other conjuring visions of illicit escapades – their unlikely entanglement has stirred both amusement and skepticism.
The notion that the consumption of cottage cheese, with its creamy curds and mild flavor, could be entwined with the nefarious act of car theft seems almost as perplexing as trying to eat the aforementioned dairy product with a square of toilet paper – it simply doesn't feel right. Nevertheless, the intrigue surrounding this association has captured the imagination of many, leading us to embark on a whimsical yet scientifically rigorous quest to decipher the statistical conundrum at hand.
In this study, we endeavor to navigate these uncharted territories by harnessing the power of data analysis and statistical inference, seeking to unravel the mysteries that linger in the Texan air. While some may view this endeavor as akin to hunting for a needle in a haystack or, in this case, hunting for a curd in a cottage, we remain undeterred in our pursuit of empirical truth – no matter how wacky or dairy-infused it may be.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Upon untangling the web of data gathered from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our team uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Texas for the years 1990 to 2021. This strong positive correlation suggests a noteworthy relationship between these apparently incongruous variables.

Moreover, the calculated r-squared value of 0.8616270 indicates that a substantial 86.16% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. This finding certainly makes one wonder if there are any wheyward cheese enthusiasts behind the wheel of these stolen vehicles.

The associated p-value, less than 0.01, reinforces the conclusion that the observed relationship is statistically significant. In plain English, this means that the likelihood of this association being due to mere coincidence is less than a mouse finding a hidden cheese stash in a cat sanctuary.

Additionally, the scatterplot displayed in Fig. 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between the monthly consumption of cottage cheese (in pounds per capita) and the number of reported motor vehicle thefts per 100,000 inhabitants in Texas. It’s an oddly captivating sight, much like witnessing a cheese-loving bandit swiping a car amidst a field of dairy cows.

These results puzzle and delight in equal measure, opening new avenues for both research and culinary contemplation. While we cannot claim causation, the robust statistical link uncovered in this study offers a cheesy but intriguing insight into the world of crime and dairy consumption.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
We begin our exploration of the opulent world of cottage cheese consumption and its perplexing connection to motor vehicle thefts with a survey of pertinent literature. Smith et al. (2015) delve into the intricate link between dairy product intake and criminal behavior in their landmark study, "Dairy Dilemmas: A Sociological Perspective," providing insightful commentary on the societal implications of cheese-related misconduct. Doe and Jones (2018) supplement this discourse with their investigation, "Cheese Crimes and Misdemeanors," which examines the cultural and psychological dimensions of cheese consumption in relation to unlawful activities.
Turning towards the culinary domain, "The Big Book of Cottage Cheese" by Muenster (2019) serves as a comprehensive guide to the world of cottage cheese, offering tantalizing recipes and historical anecdotes that shed light on its enigmatic allure. In a ligther vein, "The Secret Life of Dairy Products" by Cheddar (2020) offers a whimsical take on the lesser-known underbelly of cottage cheese, blending culinary musings with tales of intrigue and suspicion.
Excitingly, the world of fiction also has its say in this peculiar nexus, with "The Curious Case of the Stolen String Cheese" by Arthur Conan Dairy (2016) presenting a thrilling whodunit set against the backdrop of a bustling dairy farm. Similarly, "The Cheese Heist Chronicles" by Gouda Gabler (2017) sweeps readers away into a world of clandestine cheese capers and dastardly dairy-related shenanigans.
In the realm of cinema, "The Fast and the Curd-ious" (2001) and its perennially popular sequels offer a cinematic portrayal of fast cars and feta-fueled felonies, albeit in a different dairy context. The inherently cheesy appeal of these films aligns with our own lighthearted approach to the interplay between cottage cheese consumption and car crimes.
Stay tuned for the subsequent sections where we dive into the empirical findings and statistical analyses that illuminate this zany yet surprisingly compelling correlation!

[[RESULTS]]
Upon untangling the web of data gathered from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our team uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Texas for the years 1990 to 2021. This strong positive correlation suggests a noteworthy relationship between these apparently incongruous variables.
Moreover, the calculated r-squared value of 0.8616270 indicates that a substantial 86.16% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. This finding certainly makes one wonder if there are any wheyward cheese enthusiasts behind the wheel of these stolen vehicles.
The associated p-value, less than 0.01, reinforces the conclusion that the observed relationship is statistically significant. In plain English, this means that the likelihood of this association being due to mere coincidence is less than a mouse finding a hidden cheese stash in a cat sanctuary.
Additionally, the scatterplot displayed in Fig. 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between the monthly consumption of cottage cheese (in pounds per capita) and the number of reported motor vehicle thefts per 100,000 inhabitants in Texas. It’s an oddly captivating sight, much like witnessing a cheese-loving bandit swiping a car amidst a field of dairy cows.
These results puzzle and delight in equal measure, opening new avenues for both research and culinary contemplation. While we cannot claim causation, the robust statistical link uncovered in this study offers a cheesy but intriguing insight into the world of crime and dairy consumption.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The curiously robust correlation coefficient uncovered in this study, with a value of 0.9282387 and a p-value less than 0.01, validates, in a statistically significant manner, the long-speculated connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas. This unexpected relationship has left many scratching their heads and reaching for a slice of brie – it's certainly a gouda one!

Our findings align with the previous work of Smith et al. (2015), who, despite their serious demeanor, hinted at the association between dairy indulgence and deviant behavior. Doe and Jones (2018), while delving into the psychological complexities of cheese-related transgressions, unknowingly set the stage for our correlation between dairy consumption and car crimes. It seems the cheese stands alone as a potential predictor of misdemeanor!

Intriguingly, the significance of our results resonates with the lighthearted musings of Muenster (2019) and Cheddar (2020), who adorned their literary works with tales of culinary mischief and dairy intrigue. The subtle plausibility of their stories now beckons further examination in light of our empirical findings. It appears that the enigmatic veil surrounding cottage cheese may harbor more than just creamy curds and whey.

The r-squared value of 0.8616270 indicates that a substantial 86.16% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. This substantial explanatory power raises questions about the unsuspected influence of cottage cheese enthusiasts on the motor vehicle theft landscape. Could it be that the siren call of curdled delights is irresistibly drawing carjackers out of the woodwork?

The scatterplot visually encapsulates the magnetism between cottage cheese consumption and car crimes, painting a picture reminiscent of a dairy-loving bandit making off with a car amidst a bucolic setting. This unexpected linkage, while not asserting causation, elicits a chuckle and a ponderous stroke of the chin – the dairy case's wheels are turning like a runaway cheese wheel!

As with all remarkably quirky discoveries in the annals of scholarly pursuit, our findings pose more questions than they answer. Nevertheless, this study underscores the unforeseen and, dare we say, titillating relationship between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. It's a tale that leaves one churning with curiosity and craving both answers and a tasty snack.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
As the dawn breaks over the Texan horizon, casting a golden glow upon the sprawling landscapes dotted with cattle ranches and bustling urban centers, the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts tantalizes the curious minds of researchers and cheese enthusiasts alike. Despite the disparate nature of these two realms – one evoking images of wholesome dairy indulgence and the other conjuring visions of illicit escapades – their unlikely entanglement has stirred both amusement and skepticism.
The notion that the consumption of cottage cheese, with its creamy curds and mild flavor, could be entwined with the nefarious act of car theft seems almost as perplexing as trying to eat the aforementioned dairy product with a square of toilet paper – it simply doesn't feel right. Nevertheless, the intrigue surrounding this association has captured the imagination of many, leading us to embark on a whimsical yet scientifically rigorous quest to decipher the statistical conundrum at hand.
In this study, we endeavor to navigate these uncharted territories by harnessing the power of data analysis and statistical inference, seeking to unravel the mysteries that linger in the Texan air. While some may view this endeavor as akin to hunting for a needle in a haystack or, in this case, hunting for a curd in a cottage, we remain undeterred in our pursuit of empirical truth – no matter how wacky or dairy-infused it may be.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon untangling the web of data gathered from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our team uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Texas for the years 1990 to 2021. This strong positive correlation suggests a noteworthy relationship between these apparently incongruous variables.
Moreover, the calculated r-squared value of 0.8616270 indicates that a substantial 86.16% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. This finding certainly makes one wonder if there are any wheyward cheese enthusiasts behind the wheel of these stolen vehicles.
The associated p-value, less than 0.01, reinforces the conclusion that the observed relationship is statistically significant. In plain English, this means that the likelihood of this association being due to mere coincidence is less than a mouse finding a hidden cheese stash in a cat sanctuary.
Additionally, the scatterplot displayed in Fig. 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between the monthly consumption of cottage cheese (in pounds per capita) and the number of reported motor vehicle thefts per 100,000 inhabitants in Texas. It’s an oddly captivating sight, much like witnessing a cheese-loving bandit swiping a car amidst a field of dairy cows.
These results puzzle and delight in equal measure, opening new avenues for both research and culinary contemplation. While we cannot claim causation, the robust statistical link uncovered in this study offers a cheesy but intriguing insight into the world of crime and dairy consumption.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study unearths a compelling correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the great state of Texas, shedding light on a connection as unexpected as finding a curd in a hayride. While we must exercise caution in attributing causation to this correlation, it beguiles the mind to envision a scenario where dairy indulgence and vehicular mischief dance hand in hand – or should we say wheel in wheel?

The statistical significance we uncovered is as surprising as stumbling upon a cow playing a grand piano, and it tantalizes the imagination with visions of cheese-loving culprits embarking on wheyward driving escapades. As we close the chapters of this whimsical exploration, we must acknowledge the potential limitations inherent in drawing grandiose inferences from such an offbeat association. Nonetheless, the findings provoke a blend of curiosity and amusement, prompting us to ponder the dairy-fueled capers unfolding under the Texan sun.

In the grand tradition of scientific inquiry, our endeavor may feel as peculiar as a cow wearing sunglasses, yet it offers a fresh perspective on the intricate tapestry of socio-economic phenomena. Therefore, with a twinkle in our eyes and a smile on our lips, we dare to proclaim that further investigation into this cheese-laden conundrum may be as unnecessary as a cowboy at a sushi bar. There, in the annals of academia, the saga of cottage cheese and car crimes may rest, leaving us with a delightful enigma wrapped in a creamy, dairy-infused mystery.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Deviance Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy-Related Criminology Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Connecting Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation with an abstract of The association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State has long been a topic of heated debate and mild confusion within academic and culinary circles. By harnessing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to untangle the enigmatic links between these seemingly disparate domains – dairy product consumption and criminal activity. Our analysis, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 with a p-value less than 0.01, suggesting a statistically significant relationship. While we must acknowledge the ever-present caution against inferring causation from correlation, the breadth and depth of this connection merited further investigation. This quirky study offers a thought-provoking perspective on the unexpected interplay of dairy delicacies and felonious misadventures.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, car crimes, Texas, correlation, USDA, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, motor vehicle thefts, dairy product consumption, criminal activity

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



Random correlation

Discover a new correlation

View all correlations

View all research papers

Report an error


Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Texas
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Texas
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Texas

Correlation r = 0.9282387 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8616270 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 86.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Texas) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.02E-14. 0.0000000000000202170119777745
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.93 in 2.02E-12% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 49,463,293,640,986 random variables You don't actually need 49 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.86, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Motor vehicle thefts in Texas (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)909944.3821.7692.3602.6560.4548.6523.3489.1459.2446.8480.4472.4444.3418.6407.5405.9393.2351309269.4249.4249.5248.2253.6246.1247.2239.8244.5270.3287302.5




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([909,944.3,821.7,692.3,602.6,560.4,548.6,523.3,489.1,459.2,446.8,480.4,472.4,444.3,418.6,407.5,405.9,393.2,351,309,269.4,249.4,249.5,248.2,253.6,246.1,247.2,239.8,244.5,270.3,287,302.5,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Texas"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



Reuseable content

You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

Full license details.
For more on re-use permissions, or to get a signed release form, see tylervigen.com/permission.

Download images for these variables:


View another random correlation

How fun was this correlation?

Your correlation rating is out of this world!


Correlation ID: 3041 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20164
about · subscribe · emailme@tylervigen.com · twitter

CC BY 4.0