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Spurious correlation #4,168 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people switched to almond and oat milk, the traditional dairy industry took a hit. This led to a surplus of cow population with no clear job prospects. Desperate to make ends meet, the unemployed dairy cows formed a gang and started hotwiring cars for a quick getaway to the greener pastures of neighboring states. This unexpected crime wave moo-ved law enforcement to beef up security, bringing down the overall motor vehicle thefts in Michigan.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Prompt: Generate a pop art style image that depicts a scene of milk cartons being poured down a drain while a row of unattended cars stand parked nearby. The milk cartons should appear vibrant and eye-catching, and the cars should be stylized in a retro-pop art fashion. The scene should convey a sense of reduced crime and safety due to the decline in milk consumption. Use bold, contrasting colors to emphasize the pop art style and create visual impact. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A photo-realistic image Psychedelic Woodblock painting Scalar art Pop art
ChatGPT: Pop art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan, in the following situation: As milk consumption decreased, there was a shortage of moo-tivation for the thieves. It was udderly ridiculous how the lack of lactic larceny led to a drop in dairy daring heists. Without calcium-packed criminals looking to make a quick dairy getaway, the whole milk mafia just couldn't cream off enough profits to keep their operations afloat. The streets were no longer lactose intolerant to safety, and the potential for cereal lawbreakers to evade capture was curdled. It's a case where the absence of moo-vement in milk thievery led to a dairy good outcome for vehicle owners.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: As milk consumption in Michigan decreased, so did the incidents of motor vehicle thefts. With fewer calcium-packed criminals looking to make a quick dairy getaway, the streets were safer and the potential for cereal lawbreakers to evade capture diminished.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Pop art ] and depicting this scene: As milk consumption in Michigan decreased, so did the incidents of motor vehicle thefts. With fewer calcium-packed criminals looking to make a quick dairy getaway, the streets were safer and the potential for cereal lawbreakers to evade capture diminished. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Prompt: Generate a pop art style image that depicts a scene of milk cartons being poured down a drain while a row of unattended cars stand parked nearby. The milk cartons should appear vibrant and eye-catching, and the cars should be stylized in a retro-pop art fashion. The scene should convey a sense of reduced crime and safety due to the decline in milk consumption. Use bold, contrasting colors to emphasize the pop art style and create visual impact.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

Journal of Dairy Delinquency

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The pursuit of understanding the intricate interplay between diverse societal factors has been a perennial endeavor in the realm of academic research. One such curious nexus that has captured the attention of scholars and laypersons alike is the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The motivation behind this investigation stems from a desire to unravel the enigmatic forces at play in human behavior and consumption choices, and to shed light on an unlikely relationship that borders on the comically absurd.

The Mitten State, as Michigan is colloquially known, has been the stage for this peculiar confluence of dairy products and criminal activities. Against the backdrop of rolling fields and bustling urban centers, the consumption patterns of milk and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts have intertwined in a manner reminiscent of a whimsical dance, leaving researchers equally bemused and intrigued. One might expect a connection as tenuous as a straw in a milk carton, yet the statistical analyses paint a picture as clear as a bottle of pure, unadulterated dairy.

Our research team, armed with data from esteemed sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, embarked on a journey of discovery. The time frame spanning from 1990 to 2021 served as the canvas upon which the patterns of milk consumption and the occurrences of motor vehicle thefts were meticulously plotted and scrutinized. The resultant correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 is as robust as a well-built dairy cow, and its accompanying p-value of less than 0.01 stands as a testament to the veracity of the association.

While causation remains as elusive as the proverbial needle in a haystack, the statistical linkage uncovered in this study challenges conventional wisdom and beckons for further exploration. The implications of these findings extend beyond the realms of sociology and criminology, venturing into the captivating territory of human behavior and its idiosyncrasies. The discovery of a significant relationship between an innocuous beverage and criminal deeds is as unexpected as finding a crop circle in a dairy farm, and it stands to captivate the minds of both academic and lay audiences alike.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The pursuit of understanding the intricate interplay between diverse societal factors has been a perennial endeavor in the realm of academic research. One such curious nexus that has captured the attention of scholars and laypersons alike is the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The motivation behind this investigation stems from a desire to unravel the enigmatic forces at play in human behavior and consumption choices, and to shed light on an unlikely relationship that borders on the comically absurd.
The Mitten State, as Michigan is colloquially known, has been the stage for this peculiar confluence of dairy products and criminal activities. Against the backdrop of rolling fields and bustling urban centers, the consumption patterns of milk and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts have intertwined in a manner reminiscent of a whimsical dance, leaving researchers equally bemused and intrigued. One might expect a connection as tenuous as a straw in a milk carton, yet the statistical analyses paint a picture as clear as a bottle of pure, unadulterated dairy.
Our research team, armed with data from esteemed sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, embarked on a journey of discovery. The time frame spanning from 1990 to 2021 served as the canvas upon which the patterns of milk consumption and the occurrences of motor vehicle thefts were meticulously plotted and scrutinized. The resultant correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 is as robust as a well-built dairy cow, and its accompanying p-value of less than 0.01 stands as a testament to the veracity of the association.
While causation remains as elusive as the proverbial needle in a haystack, the statistical linkage uncovered in this study challenges conventional wisdom and beckons for further exploration. The implications of these findings extend beyond the realms of sociology and criminology, venturing into the captivating territory of human behavior and its idiosyncrasies. The discovery of a significant relationship between an innocuous beverage and criminal deeds is as unexpected as finding a crop circle in a dairy farm, and it stands to captivate the minds of both academic and lay audiences alike.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

Prior studies have investigated peculiar and unexpected associations between seemingly unrelated phenomena, and the curious linkage between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan is no exception. Smith et al. (2015) explored the behavioral economics of dairy product consumption, while Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the criminological aspects of motor vehicle thefts. These serious inquiries laid the groundwork for our investigation into the unlikely relationship between milk and misconduct in the Mitten State.

Turning to non-fiction books, "Milk: A 10,000-Year Food Fracas" by Mark Kurlansky and "Steal This Car: An Insight into Vehicular Acquisitions" by Sam Jones offered valuable insights into the historical and sociological dimensions of milk consumption and vehicle thefts, respectively. However, the literature review also extended to fiction titles for their indirect relevance to the subject matter. "The Cows" by Dawn O'Porter and "Gone in 60 Seconds" by H.B. Halicki presented fictional narratives that inadvertently echoed the thematic underpinnings of our investigation, albeit in entirely unanticipated ways.

The literature review delves into unexpected realms with the inclusion of children's cartoons and shows that, while seemingly unrelated, bear latent connections to our research topic. "The Adventures of the Dairy Queen" and "The Fast and the Furious: Animated Edition" provide whimsical narrative renditions that, when scrutinized beneath their lighthearted veneers, offer sociocultural vignettes that unexpectedly mirror the intricate complexities of milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. These divergent sources of literature, both serious and light-hearted, set the stage for the subsequent empirical inquiry and statistical analyses that illuminate the substantial and statistically significant relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan.



Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The pursuit of understanding the intricate interplay between diverse societal factors has been a perennial endeavor in the realm of academic research. One such curious nexus that has captured the attention of scholars and laypersons alike is the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The motivation behind this investigation stems from a desire to unravel the enigmatic forces at play in human behavior and consumption choices, and to shed light on an unlikely relationship that borders on the comically absurd.
The Mitten State, as Michigan is colloquially known, has been the stage for this peculiar confluence of dairy products and criminal activities. Against the backdrop of rolling fields and bustling urban centers, the consumption patterns of milk and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts have intertwined in a manner reminiscent of a whimsical dance, leaving researchers equally bemused and intrigued. One might expect a connection as tenuous as a straw in a milk carton, yet the statistical analyses paint a picture as clear as a bottle of pure, unadulterated dairy.
Our research team, armed with data from esteemed sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, embarked on a journey of discovery. The time frame spanning from 1990 to 2021 served as the canvas upon which the patterns of milk consumption and the occurrences of motor vehicle thefts were meticulously plotted and scrutinized. The resultant correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 is as robust as a well-built dairy cow, and its accompanying p-value of less than 0.01 stands as a testament to the veracity of the association.
While causation remains as elusive as the proverbial needle in a haystack, the statistical linkage uncovered in this study challenges conventional wisdom and beckons for further exploration. The implications of these findings extend beyond the realms of sociology and criminology, venturing into the captivating territory of human behavior and its idiosyncrasies. The discovery of a significant relationship between an innocuous beverage and criminal deeds is as unexpected as finding a crop circle in a dairy farm, and it stands to captivate the minds of both academic and lay audiences alike.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

The investigation into the correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan employed a multifaceted approach to data collection and analysis. The research team gathered information from a variety of sources, with a predilection for data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. This multifarious gathering of data occurred between the years 1990 and 2021, incorporating a wide range of environmental, social, and economic variables that might influence the dairy-thieving nexus.

To establish the per capita milk consumption in Michigan, a thorough examination of dairy product sales, milk availability, and lactose tolerance levels was conducted. Furthermore, the team opted to employ a dairy detective, a particularly shrewd bovine with a penchant for sniffing out statistical irregularities, to ensure the accuracy and reliability of these data. This bovine companion played a pivotal role in validating the integrity of the milk consumption data, herding any outliers towards an udder resolution.

On the other hand, the incidence of motor vehicle thefts within the state was ascertained through the meticulous review of law enforcement reports, insurance claims, and witness accounts from both urban metropolises and quaint rural townships. The team also took into account the potential influence of variables such as population density, economic indicators, and even the phases of the moon, aiming to capture the full scope of environmental factors possibly associated with the thefts.

Additionally, in consideration of the temporal dimension of the inquiry, the team implemented a scheme known as the "cowculator," which allowed for the integration of seasonal and annual patterns of milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. This allowed for the identification of any temporal patterns or cyclical trends lurking within the data, ensuring that no statistical milkshake goes unshaken.

Upon collection of the requisite data, a rigorous statistical analysis was undertaken, involving time-series regressions, spatial autocorrelation assessments, and a method employing complex algorithms known colloquially as "herding cats." The resulting correlation coefficient and p-value provided empirical support for the connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, akin to a mathematical moo-tual agreement between the variables.

In summary, the investigative methodology employed in this study integrated a multi-pronged approach, encompassing data collection, verification, and multivariate analysis, to comprehensively explore the curious relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. The employment of the aforementioned techniques facilitated the illumination of this unexpected association, offering insights that surpass the mundane and leap into the realm of the unexpect-moo.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9435121, r-squared of 0.8902150, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The pursuit of understanding the intricate interplay between diverse societal factors has been a perennial endeavor in the realm of academic research. One such curious nexus that has captured the attention of scholars and laypersons alike is the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The motivation behind this investigation stems from a desire to unravel the enigmatic forces at play in human behavior and consumption choices, and to shed light on an unlikely relationship that borders on the comically absurd.
The Mitten State, as Michigan is colloquially known, has been the stage for this peculiar confluence of dairy products and criminal activities. Against the backdrop of rolling fields and bustling urban centers, the consumption patterns of milk and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts have intertwined in a manner reminiscent of a whimsical dance, leaving researchers equally bemused and intrigued. One might expect a connection as tenuous as a straw in a milk carton, yet the statistical analyses paint a picture as clear as a bottle of pure, unadulterated dairy.
Our research team, armed with data from esteemed sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, embarked on a journey of discovery. The time frame spanning from 1990 to 2021 served as the canvas upon which the patterns of milk consumption and the occurrences of motor vehicle thefts were meticulously plotted and scrutinized. The resultant correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 is as robust as a well-built dairy cow, and its accompanying p-value of less than 0.01 stands as a testament to the veracity of the association.
While causation remains as elusive as the proverbial needle in a haystack, the statistical linkage uncovered in this study challenges conventional wisdom and beckons for further exploration. The implications of these findings extend beyond the realms of sociology and criminology, venturing into the captivating territory of human behavior and its idiosyncrasies. The discovery of a significant relationship between an innocuous beverage and criminal deeds is as unexpected as finding a crop circle in a dairy farm, and it stands to captivate the minds of both academic and lay audiences alike.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The data analysis revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan for the time period between 1990 and 2021. The correlation was accompanied by an r-squared value of 0.8902150, indicative of a strong relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Moreover, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence for the statistical significance of this association, rendering it as conspicuous as a cream-streaked cat in a herd of cows.

The resulting scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the compelling correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, mirroring the unexpected nature of this relationship with the whimsical flair of a dairy-themed mural in a law enforcement agency.

These findings, while initially as baffling as a missing carton of milk in a deserted farmhouse, hold the promise of sparking further curiosity and inquiry into the intricate and often unpredictably interconnected fabric of societal phenomena. Alas, causation remains as elusive as the faint jingle of an ice cream truck in a bustling metropolis, leaving the door ajar for future research to unpuzzle this intriguing puzzle and churn out new insights into the peculiar dynamics of human behavior and consumption patterns.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Prior studies have investigated peculiar and unexpected associations between seemingly unrelated phenomena, and the curious linkage between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan is no exception. Smith et al. (2015) explored the behavioral economics of dairy product consumption, while Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the criminological aspects of motor vehicle thefts. These serious inquiries laid the groundwork for our investigation into the unlikely relationship between milk and misconduct in the Mitten State.
Turning to non-fiction books, "Milk: A 10,000-Year Food Fracas" by Mark Kurlansky and "Steal This Car: An Insight into Vehicular Acquisitions" by Sam Jones offered valuable insights into the historical and sociological dimensions of milk consumption and vehicle thefts, respectively. However, the literature review also extended to fiction titles for their indirect relevance to the subject matter. "The Cows" by Dawn O'Porter and "Gone in 60 Seconds" by H.B. Halicki presented fictional narratives that inadvertently echoed the thematic underpinnings of our investigation, albeit in entirely unanticipated ways.
The literature review delves into unexpected realms with the inclusion of children's cartoons and shows that, while seemingly unrelated, bear latent connections to our research topic. "The Adventures of the Dairy Queen" and "The Fast and the Furious: Animated Edition" provide whimsical narrative renditions that, when scrutinized beneath their lighthearted veneers, offer sociocultural vignettes that unexpectedly mirror the intricate complexities of milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. These divergent sources of literature, both serious and light-hearted, set the stage for the subsequent empirical inquiry and statistical analyses that illuminate the substantial and statistically significant relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Michigan.


[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan for the time period between 1990 and 2021. The correlation was accompanied by an r-squared value of 0.8902150, indicative of a strong relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Moreover, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence for the statistical significance of this association, rendering it as conspicuous as a cream-streaked cat in a herd of cows.
The resulting scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the compelling correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, mirroring the unexpected nature of this relationship with the whimsical flair of a dairy-themed mural in a law enforcement agency.
These findings, while initially as baffling as a missing carton of milk in a deserted farmhouse, hold the promise of sparking further curiosity and inquiry into the intricate and often unpredictably interconnected fabric of societal phenomena. Alas, causation remains as elusive as the faint jingle of an ice cream truck in a bustling metropolis, leaving the door ajar for future research to unpuzzle this intriguing puzzle and churn out new insights into the peculiar dynamics of human behavior and consumption patterns.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of this study offer compelling evidence of a robust and statistically significant relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and the accompanying r-squared value of 0.8902150 definitively support the notion that these seemingly unrelated phenomena are entwined in a manner as inseparable as milk and cookies.

Our results echo the prior research that probed into the intersection of seemingly unrelated variables. Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018) set the stage for our investigation, much like a director laying the groundwork for a gripping thriller. Moreover, the unassuming narratives of "The Adventures of the Dairy Queen" and "The Fast and the Furious: Animated Edition" unexpectedly mirrored the sociocultural complexity of our findings, akin to discovering a hidden compartment in a stolen vehicle.

While our study cannot ascertain causation, the association uncovered is as striking as finding tire tracks leading to a dairy farm. The implications of this linkage are as rich as a creamy milkshake, offering a tantalizing prospect for future research to delve into the complexities of human behavior and consumption patterns.

In conclusion, our analysis supports the notion that there is indeed a meaningful connection between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts. These results may "moo-ve" researchers and policymakers to further investigate the unexpected dairy-driven dynamics of deviant behavior and vehicular misdeeds.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The pursuit of understanding the intricate interplay between diverse societal factors has been a perennial endeavor in the realm of academic research. One such curious nexus that has captured the attention of scholars and laypersons alike is the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The motivation behind this investigation stems from a desire to unravel the enigmatic forces at play in human behavior and consumption choices, and to shed light on an unlikely relationship that borders on the comically absurd.
The Mitten State, as Michigan is colloquially known, has been the stage for this peculiar confluence of dairy products and criminal activities. Against the backdrop of rolling fields and bustling urban centers, the consumption patterns of milk and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts have intertwined in a manner reminiscent of a whimsical dance, leaving researchers equally bemused and intrigued. One might expect a connection as tenuous as a straw in a milk carton, yet the statistical analyses paint a picture as clear as a bottle of pure, unadulterated dairy.
Our research team, armed with data from esteemed sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, embarked on a journey of discovery. The time frame spanning from 1990 to 2021 served as the canvas upon which the patterns of milk consumption and the occurrences of motor vehicle thefts were meticulously plotted and scrutinized. The resultant correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 is as robust as a well-built dairy cow, and its accompanying p-value of less than 0.01 stands as a testament to the veracity of the association.
While causation remains as elusive as the proverbial needle in a haystack, the statistical linkage uncovered in this study challenges conventional wisdom and beckons for further exploration. The implications of these findings extend beyond the realms of sociology and criminology, venturing into the captivating territory of human behavior and its idiosyncrasies. The discovery of a significant relationship between an innocuous beverage and criminal deeds is as unexpected as finding a crop circle in a dairy farm, and it stands to captivate the minds of both academic and lay audiences alike.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan for the time period between 1990 and 2021. The correlation was accompanied by an r-squared value of 0.8902150, indicative of a strong relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Moreover, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence for the statistical significance of this association, rendering it as conspicuous as a cream-streaked cat in a herd of cows.
The resulting scatterplot (Fig. 1) visually depicts the compelling correlation between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts, mirroring the unexpected nature of this relationship with the whimsical flair of a dairy-themed mural in a law enforcement agency.
These findings, while initially as baffling as a missing carton of milk in a deserted farmhouse, hold the promise of sparking further curiosity and inquiry into the intricate and often unpredictably interconnected fabric of societal phenomena. Alas, causation remains as elusive as the faint jingle of an ice cream truck in a bustling metropolis, leaving the door ajar for future research to unpuzzle this intriguing puzzle and churn out new insights into the peculiar dynamics of human behavior and consumption patterns.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, the findings of this study unveil a most unexpected and seemingly implausible relationship between milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. The robust correlation coefficient and statistically significant p-value defy conventional wisdom and offer a slice of intrigue as perplexing as a cow navigating a traffic circle.

The implications of these findings are as intriguing as a box of assorted chocolates - one never quite knows what to expect. The discovery of such an association may well prompt further inquiries into the curious and often amusing intricacies of human behavior.

However, as fascinating as this milk-and-theft tango may be, it seems we've milked this topic for all it's worth. No further research is needed in this dairy-licious domain.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Delinquency


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy-Induced Delinquency Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Milk Mayhem in the Mitten State: Measuring the Link between Milk Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Michigan with an abstract of This research paper delves into a rather unexpected and peculiar association between two seemingly unrelated phenomena: milk consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the state of Michigan. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team embarked on an inquiry to unravel the enigmatic connection. Analysis of the time period spanning from 1990 to 2021 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9435121 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a robust relationship between the variables in question. The implications of these findings are as startling as a cow jumping over the moon, and they may provide fodder for further investigations that venture into the quirks of human behavior and consumption patterns. While causation remains as elusive as a cat burglar in the night, the linkage uncovered in this study offers food for thought and potentially udderly captivating discussion.

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, motor vehicle thefts, Michigan, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, statistical significance, human behavior, consumption patterns

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Michigan
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan

Correlation r = 0.9435121 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8902150 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 89% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 6.2E-16. 0.0000000000000006187258082008
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.94 in 6.2E-14% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 1,616,224,807,088,477 random variables You don't actually need 1 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.89, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)713.7679.7625.8615656.1645.5700.5668.4594.3575.8560.7535.7495.1532.7500.6477.9496.2416.9357.4294.3277.5252.2253.8243.3214189.5204196.4175178.7184.5215.7




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([713.7,679.7,625.8,615,656.1,645.5,700.5,668.4,594.3,575.8,560.7,535.7,495.1,532.7,500.6,477.9,496.2,416.9,357.4,294.3,277.5,252.2,253.8,243.3,214,189.5,204,196.4,175,178.7,184.5,215.7,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Michigan"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 4168 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20141
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