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Spurious correlation #4,167 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Washington.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Because there were fewer moo-ving targets for the burglars to milk from! When the dairy good supply dried up, the thieves realized they'd have to find udder ways to make a profit. It seems the lactose intolerant criminals just couldn't dairy to commit crimes without their calcium fix!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: An image of a quiet neighborhood in Washington with a group of burglars standing outside a house, looking puzzled. In the background, a large truck labeled "Milk Delivery" drives away, leaving behind a trail of spilled milk. The burglars scratch their heads and glance at each other, realizing that there are no more milk deliveries to steal from. With a sigh, they reluctantly decide to walk away, their usual plans foiled by the absence of milk. The setting should have a surreal touch, evoking a sense of magic realism in the atmosphere. The colors should be vibrant, and the lighting should create a dreamlike quality to the scene. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie Parallax art Magic realism Scalar art Charcoal
ChatGPT: Magic realism

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington, in the following situation: Because there were fewer moo-ving targets for the burglars to milk from! When the dairy good supply dried up, the thieves realized they'd have to find udder ways to make a profit. It seems the lactose intolerant criminals just couldn't dairy to commit crimes without their calcium fix!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quiet neighborhood in Washington, a group of burglars is standing outside a house, looking puzzled. In the background, a large truck labeled "Milk Delivery" drives away, leaving behind a trail of spilled milk. The burglars scratch their heads and glance at each other, realizing that there are no more milk deliveries to steal from. With a sigh, they reluctantly decide to walk away, their usual plans foiled by the absence of milk.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Magic realism ] and depicting this scene: In a quiet neighborhood in Washington, a group of burglars is standing outside a house, looking puzzled. In the background, a large truck labeled "Milk Delivery" drives away, leaving behind a trail of spilled milk. The burglars scratch their heads and glance at each other, realizing that there are no more milk deliveries to steal from. With a sigh, they reluctantly decide to walk away, their usual plans foiled by the absence of milk. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: An image of a quiet neighborhood in Washington with a group of burglars standing outside a house, looking puzzled. In the background, a large truck labeled "Milk Delivery" drives away, leaving behind a trail of spilled milk. The burglars scratch their heads and glance at each other, realizing that there are no more milk deliveries to steal from. With a sigh, they reluctantly decide to walk away, their usual plans foiled by the absence of milk. The setting should have a surreal touch, evoking a sense of magic realism in the atmosphere. The colors should be vibrant, and the lighting should create a dreamlike quality to the scene.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Burglaries in Washington to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

The Journal of Dairy-Driven Deviance

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Got Milk? Got Burglarized? While these phrases may seem utterly unrelated, our research has uncovered a surprisingly intriguing connection between the consumption of milk and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The correlation between these two phenomena is not just a mere lactose-intolerant coincidence; it's udderly fascinating, and it will certainly make you lactose for words.

The notion of correlating dairy consumption with criminal activities may initially sound as improbable as finding a cow jumping over the moon. However, our study delved deep into the statistical haystack, and lo and behold, we unearthed a rather intriguing needle in the form of a remarkably high correlation coefficient, which was indeed the dairy-tying factor in our investigation.

The udderly cheesy relationship between milk and burglaries has captivated researchers, leading to a dairy intense exploration of this unusual connection. Based on our preliminary analysis, the statistical evidence suggests that the association between milk consumption and burglaries is not just a bunch of bull, but a statistically significant finding worthy of further exploration.

Pundits may argue that this connection is nothing but udder nonsense, but our rigorous statistical analysis has revealed a robust correlation that cannot be brushed aside as mere moolarky. This research aims to leave no stone unturned or, as we like to say in the world of data analysis, no udder unexamined.

As we embark on this journey of dairy-driven crime, we urge readers to mooo-ve away from any preconceived notions and to approach these findings with an open mind. While some may find this correlation utt-erly absurd, we are committed to shedding light on this unusual relationship. So grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in unraveling the mysterious connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a couple popular internet memes that are related to one of the topics.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? While these phrases may seem utterly unrelated, our research has uncovered a surprisingly intriguing connection between the consumption of milk and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The correlation between these two phenomena is not just a mere lactose-intolerant coincidence; it's udderly fascinating, and it will certainly make you lactose for words.
The notion of correlating dairy consumption with criminal activities may initially sound as improbable as finding a cow jumping over the moon. However, our study delved deep into the statistical haystack, and lo and behold, we unearthed a rather intriguing needle in the form of a remarkably high correlation coefficient, which was indeed the dairy-tying factor in our investigation.
The udderly cheesy relationship between milk and burglaries has captivated researchers, leading to a dairy intense exploration of this unusual connection. Based on our preliminary analysis, the statistical evidence suggests that the association between milk consumption and burglaries is not just a bunch of bull, but a statistically significant finding worthy of further exploration.
Pundits may argue that this connection is nothing but udder nonsense, but our rigorous statistical analysis has revealed a robust correlation that cannot be brushed aside as mere moolarky. This research aims to leave no stone unturned or, as we like to say in the world of data analysis, no udder unexamined.
As we embark on this journey of dairy-driven crime, we urge readers to mooo-ve away from any preconceived notions and to approach these findings with an open mind. While some may find this correlation utt-erly absurd, we are committed to shedding light on this unusual relationship. So grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in unraveling the mysterious connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Dairy and Crime: Exploring the Link," Smith and Doe shed light on the intriguing relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities. While their study primarily focuses on a broader analysis of dairy products, their findings did offer a glimpse into the potential association between milk consumption and misdemeanor. However, as interesting as their findings are, they failed to grasp the udderly captivating correlation we've discovered in the context of burglaries in Washington.

Jones' "Milk Matters: A Comprehensive Analysis" provides a thorough examination of the nutritional, cultural, and economic impact of milk consumption. Although the focus of the study is not criminal behavior, their thorough analysis of milk consumption patterns inadvertently adds weight to our own findings. Talk about unexpected dairy-rected consequences, eh?

Turning the pages to more tangentially related sources, we come across "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald. While the connection with our study may not be immediately apparent, the lavish Champagne-fueled parties in the novel oddly resonates with the calcium-rich extravagance of milk consumption we observed in our data. And given the sneaky maneuverings of Jay Gatsby, it's not entirely outlandish to imagine him plotting a mooo-dairy heist.

Another fictional work, "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess, covers the darker side of human behavior. Though decidedly unrelated to dairy products, the novel's exploration of criminal psychology elicits a sense of morbid curiosity regarding the potential impact of milk on deviant behavior. Oh my gosh, imagine if they'd called it "A Clockwork Cow!"

Furthermore, the infamous "I Can Has Cheezburger?" meme perfectly encapsulates our study's unexpected twist. While seemingly focused on feline antics and quirky captions, the meme inadvertently captures the essence of our research - the unexpected and inexplicable connection between dairy consumption and deviant behavior. It's almost as if the cats are in on the mysterious correlation!

In summary, our review of the literature showcases a wide-ranging exploration of dairy-related topics and their unsuspected ties to criminal behavior. These sources have provided valuable insights and, dare we say, a healthy dose of laughter as we grapple with the un-brie-lievable connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? While these phrases may seem utterly unrelated, our research has uncovered a surprisingly intriguing connection between the consumption of milk and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The correlation between these two phenomena is not just a mere lactose-intolerant coincidence; it's udderly fascinating, and it will certainly make you lactose for words.
The notion of correlating dairy consumption with criminal activities may initially sound as improbable as finding a cow jumping over the moon. However, our study delved deep into the statistical haystack, and lo and behold, we unearthed a rather intriguing needle in the form of a remarkably high correlation coefficient, which was indeed the dairy-tying factor in our investigation.
The udderly cheesy relationship between milk and burglaries has captivated researchers, leading to a dairy intense exploration of this unusual connection. Based on our preliminary analysis, the statistical evidence suggests that the association between milk consumption and burglaries is not just a bunch of bull, but a statistically significant finding worthy of further exploration.
Pundits may argue that this connection is nothing but udder nonsense, but our rigorous statistical analysis has revealed a robust correlation that cannot be brushed aside as mere moolarky. This research aims to leave no stone unturned or, as we like to say in the world of data analysis, no udder unexamined.
As we embark on this journey of dairy-driven crime, we urge readers to mooo-ve away from any preconceived notions and to approach these findings with an open mind. While some may find this correlation utt-erly absurd, we are committed to shedding light on this unusual relationship. So grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in unraveling the mysterious connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To set the stage for our investigation into the intriguing relationship between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington, we performed an extensive data collection and analysis process worthy of a dairy tale. Our data sources primarily comprised the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, providing us with a pasture of information from 1990 to 2021.

First and foremost, we gathered a herd of data on milk consumption from the USDA, obtaining figures on per capita dairy product consumption, including milk, cheese, and butter. It's worth noting that our data was not only udderly comprehensive but also meticulously skimmed to ensure accuracy, leaving no room for miscalculation or curdling of results.

On the other side of the pasture, our examination of burglary incidents in Washington was akin to herding cattle, as we navigated through the FBI's crime statistics database. We acquired data on the number of reported burglaries per year, meticulously sifting through the numbers like a farmer grooming the herd, ensuring we didn't overlook any significant findings in our haystack of data.

Once we had amassed our trove of data, it was time to milk the numbers for all they were worth. Our statistical approach involved a classic correlation analysis, allowing us to compute the Pearson correlation coefficient to measure the strength and direction of the relationship between milk consumption and burglaries. We carefully treated each data point as if it were a precious bottle of milk, ensuring that no spilt data would sour our results.

To further substantiate our findings, we conducted a time-series analysis to explore the temporal patterns in milk consumption and burglary incidents. Uncovering these patterns was akin to deciphering the unique ripples in a milk-filled pail, providing insight into the ebb and flow of these seemingly disparate phenomena over time.

In addition to these analyses, we employed various statistical techniques to control for potential confounding variables, ensuring that our findings were not mere coinci-"dairy" associations. We employed robust regression models, treating our data with the same care and attention a dairy farmer gives to their prized cows, to ensure that our results were free from any statistical bull-pucky.

Furthermore, to affirm the robustness of our results, we conducted sensitivity analyses and bootstrapping procedures, which were essential to our research endeavor, akin to ensuring that a dairy cow's milk supply remained pure and unadulterated.

In summary, our methodology can be likened to the careful cultivation of a dairy farm, where every step from data collection, analysis, and interpretation was conducted with the utmost precision and thoroughness. We took great pains to ensure that our findings were as fresh and unpasteurized as a glass of milk straight from the cow, leading us to the "moo-velous" discoveries we present in this groundbreaking research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9550827, r-squared of 0.9121830, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? While these phrases may seem utterly unrelated, our research has uncovered a surprisingly intriguing connection between the consumption of milk and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The correlation between these two phenomena is not just a mere lactose-intolerant coincidence; it's udderly fascinating, and it will certainly make you lactose for words.
The notion of correlating dairy consumption with criminal activities may initially sound as improbable as finding a cow jumping over the moon. However, our study delved deep into the statistical haystack, and lo and behold, we unearthed a rather intriguing needle in the form of a remarkably high correlation coefficient, which was indeed the dairy-tying factor in our investigation.
The udderly cheesy relationship between milk and burglaries has captivated researchers, leading to a dairy intense exploration of this unusual connection. Based on our preliminary analysis, the statistical evidence suggests that the association between milk consumption and burglaries is not just a bunch of bull, but a statistically significant finding worthy of further exploration.
Pundits may argue that this connection is nothing but udder nonsense, but our rigorous statistical analysis has revealed a robust correlation that cannot be brushed aside as mere moolarky. This research aims to leave no stone unturned or, as we like to say in the world of data analysis, no udder unexamined.
As we embark on this journey of dairy-driven crime, we urge readers to mooo-ve away from any preconceived notions and to approach these findings with an open mind. While some may find this correlation utt-erly absurd, we are committed to shedding light on this unusual relationship. So grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in unraveling the mysterious connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our investigation into the curious connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington from 1990 to 2021 produced some utterly intriguing results. The correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 suggests a remarkably strong positive relationship between these two variables. In layman's terms, it seems that as milk consumption increases, so do incidents of burglary. This correlation is stronger than the bond between a cookie and a glass of milk – truly an udder surprise!

In statistical terms, the r-squared value of 0.9121830 indicates that a whopping 91.22% of the variation in burglaries can be explained by changes in milk consumption. It's as if the burglars were leaving behind a dairy-tale clue at every crime scene! This result provides compelling evidence for the influence of milk consumption on criminal activity, making it clear that this association is no mere fluke.

Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 confirms the statistical significance of this relationship. This p-value is lower than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack, which strengthens the validity of our findings.

To visually display these findings, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that showcases the undeniable correlation between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington. Each data point in the plot can be likened to a cookie - some outliers may be a bit crumbly, but the overall pattern points toward a strong association between these two factors.

These results are as unexpected as finding a cow in a sea of burglars, and they raise intriguing questions about the potential influence of dairy on criminal behavior. While we may have uncovered this peculiar correlation, further research is needed to decipher the underlying mechanisms behind this udderly puzzling phenomenon. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in exploring the enigmatic world of dairy-driven burglaries!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Dairy and Crime: Exploring the Link," Smith and Doe shed light on the intriguing relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities. While their study primarily focuses on a broader analysis of dairy products, their findings did offer a glimpse into the potential association between milk consumption and misdemeanor. However, as interesting as their findings are, they failed to grasp the udderly captivating correlation we've discovered in the context of burglaries in Washington.
Jones' "Milk Matters: A Comprehensive Analysis" provides a thorough examination of the nutritional, cultural, and economic impact of milk consumption. Although the focus of the study is not criminal behavior, their thorough analysis of milk consumption patterns inadvertently adds weight to our own findings. Talk about unexpected dairy-rected consequences, eh?
Turning the pages to more tangentially related sources, we come across "The Great Gatsby" by F. Scott Fitzgerald. While the connection with our study may not be immediately apparent, the lavish Champagne-fueled parties in the novel oddly resonates with the calcium-rich extravagance of milk consumption we observed in our data. And given the sneaky maneuverings of Jay Gatsby, it's not entirely outlandish to imagine him plotting a mooo-dairy heist.
Another fictional work, "A Clockwork Orange" by Anthony Burgess, covers the darker side of human behavior. Though decidedly unrelated to dairy products, the novel's exploration of criminal psychology elicits a sense of morbid curiosity regarding the potential impact of milk on deviant behavior. Oh my gosh, imagine if they'd called it "A Clockwork Cow!"
Furthermore, the infamous "I Can Has Cheezburger?" meme perfectly encapsulates our study's unexpected twist. While seemingly focused on feline antics and quirky captions, the meme inadvertently captures the essence of our research - the unexpected and inexplicable connection between dairy consumption and deviant behavior. It's almost as if the cats are in on the mysterious correlation!
In summary, our review of the literature showcases a wide-ranging exploration of dairy-related topics and their unsuspected ties to criminal behavior. These sources have provided valuable insights and, dare we say, a healthy dose of laughter as we grapple with the un-brie-lievable connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.

[[RESULTS]]
Our investigation into the curious connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington from 1990 to 2021 produced some utterly intriguing results. The correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 suggests a remarkably strong positive relationship between these two variables. In layman's terms, it seems that as milk consumption increases, so do incidents of burglary. This correlation is stronger than the bond between a cookie and a glass of milk – truly an udder surprise!
In statistical terms, the r-squared value of 0.9121830 indicates that a whopping 91.22% of the variation in burglaries can be explained by changes in milk consumption. It's as if the burglars were leaving behind a dairy-tale clue at every crime scene! This result provides compelling evidence for the influence of milk consumption on criminal activity, making it clear that this association is no mere fluke.
Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 confirms the statistical significance of this relationship. This p-value is lower than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack, which strengthens the validity of our findings.
To visually display these findings, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that showcases the undeniable correlation between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington. Each data point in the plot can be likened to a cookie - some outliers may be a bit crumbly, but the overall pattern points toward a strong association between these two factors.
These results are as unexpected as finding a cow in a sea of burglars, and they raise intriguing questions about the potential influence of dairy on criminal behavior. While we may have uncovered this peculiar correlation, further research is needed to decipher the underlying mechanisms behind this udderly puzzling phenomenon. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in exploring the enigmatic world of dairy-driven burglaries!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings present an udderly intriguing connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827, supported by a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, reinforces the idea that as milk consumption increases, so do incidents of burglary. This result is as unexpected as finding a cow in a sea of burglars and raises intriguing questions about the potential influence of dairy on criminal behavior.

Harkening back to the literature review, our study has echoed the unexpected dairy-rected consequences highlighted by Jones' "Milk Matters: A Comprehensive Analysis," albeit in a rather unexpected context. Furthermore, the tangentially related sources, such as "The Great Gatsby," have inadvertently added weight to our findings, emphasizing the unexpected connection between milk consumption and deviant behavior. It seems that Fitzgerald's lavish parties may have provided a calcium-rich environment conducive to milk-fueled crime sprees!

Now, looking at the scatterplot (Fig. 1), each data point can be likened to a cookie, and just like a good batch of cookies, some outliers may be a bit crumbly, but the overall pattern points toward a strong association between milk consumption and incidents of burglary. It's truly a dairy-tale clue at every crime scene, akin to finding a milk mustache on a burglar's face!

While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, there is a need for further research to decipher the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. Perhaps a longitudinal study tracking the dairy consumption habits of individual burglars would shed further light on this puzzling phenomenon. As we milk the data further, we anticipate uncovering more dairy-licious clues that will progressively skim the surface of this enigmatic link between milk and crime.

In conclusion, our study reinforces the unexpected and inexplicable connection between dairy consumption and deviant behavior, akin to the mysterious allure captured in the "I Can Has Cheezburger?" meme. As we move towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries, we hope that our findings will encourage more researchers to take a serious look at the unexpected influence of milk consumption on criminal activities. With further investigation, we may just be able to milk this curious correlation for all it's worth!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Got Milk? Got Burglarized? While these phrases may seem utterly unrelated, our research has uncovered a surprisingly intriguing connection between the consumption of milk and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington. The correlation between these two phenomena is not just a mere lactose-intolerant coincidence; it's udderly fascinating, and it will certainly make you lactose for words.
The notion of correlating dairy consumption with criminal activities may initially sound as improbable as finding a cow jumping over the moon. However, our study delved deep into the statistical haystack, and lo and behold, we unearthed a rather intriguing needle in the form of a remarkably high correlation coefficient, which was indeed the dairy-tying factor in our investigation.
The udderly cheesy relationship between milk and burglaries has captivated researchers, leading to a dairy intense exploration of this unusual connection. Based on our preliminary analysis, the statistical evidence suggests that the association between milk consumption and burglaries is not just a bunch of bull, but a statistically significant finding worthy of further exploration.
Pundits may argue that this connection is nothing but udder nonsense, but our rigorous statistical analysis has revealed a robust correlation that cannot be brushed aside as mere moolarky. This research aims to leave no stone unturned or, as we like to say in the world of data analysis, no udder unexamined.
As we embark on this journey of dairy-driven crime, we urge readers to mooo-ve away from any preconceived notions and to approach these findings with an open mind. While some may find this correlation utt-erly absurd, we are committed to shedding light on this unusual relationship. So grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in unraveling the mysterious connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Washington.

[[RESULTS]]
Our investigation into the curious connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington from 1990 to 2021 produced some utterly intriguing results. The correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 suggests a remarkably strong positive relationship between these two variables. In layman's terms, it seems that as milk consumption increases, so do incidents of burglary. This correlation is stronger than the bond between a cookie and a glass of milk – truly an udder surprise!
In statistical terms, the r-squared value of 0.9121830 indicates that a whopping 91.22% of the variation in burglaries can be explained by changes in milk consumption. It's as if the burglars were leaving behind a dairy-tale clue at every crime scene! This result provides compelling evidence for the influence of milk consumption on criminal activity, making it clear that this association is no mere fluke.
Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 confirms the statistical significance of this relationship. This p-value is lower than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack, which strengthens the validity of our findings.
To visually display these findings, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that showcases the undeniable correlation between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington. Each data point in the plot can be likened to a cookie - some outliers may be a bit crumbly, but the overall pattern points toward a strong association between these two factors.
These results are as unexpected as finding a cow in a sea of burglars, and they raise intriguing questions about the potential influence of dairy on criminal behavior. While we may have uncovered this peculiar correlation, further research is needed to decipher the underlying mechanisms behind this udderly puzzling phenomenon. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us in exploring the enigmatic world of dairy-driven burglaries!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has unraveled a remarkably strong and statistically significant correlation between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in Washington, leaving us utterly amazed and a little lactose-intolerant with surprise. The evidence presented here is as convincingly strong as a determined cow knocking down the barn door for a midnight snack.

Our findings imply that as the consumption of milk increases, so do the incidents of burglary, creating a dairy-lemma for law enforcement and a conundrum for dairy farmers. While we milked the data to its fullest, the question remains: why does an affinity for milk appear to be correlated with a penchant for pilfering? Perhaps the burglars have a hankering for a refreshing glass of milk after a hard night's work, or maybe they simply can't resist the allure of a well-stocked fridge.

The p-value of less than 0.01 further solidifies the robustness of our findings, making it clear that this connection is no mere coincidence. It's as unlikely as finding a cow in a criminal lineup, and it's a statistical udder-ity that demands further investigation.

As tempting as it might be to milk this association for all its worth, we must acknowledge the need for caution. Correlation does not imply causation, and while our findings are fascinating, they should be interpreted with a grain of salt – or perhaps a sprinkling of cocoa powder.

Therefore, we assert that no further research is needed in this utterly intriguing area. The time has come to milk this study for all its worth, pour ourselves a glass of enlightenment, and mooo-ve on to fresh pastures of inquiry. Let's leave the burglars to their milk and cookies and focus on other pressing matters at hand.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy-Driven Deviance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Dairy Delights Research Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Got Milked: Exploring the Udderly Intriguing Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Washington with an abstract of Got Milk? Got Burglarized? In this study, we dive into the udderly fascinating world of dairy and crime. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we milked the numbers to examine the connection between milk consumption and incidents of burglary in the state of Washington from 1990 to 2021. Our findings revealed a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9550827 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, suggesting a strong association between these two seemingly unrelated phenomena. While our results may seem utterly moo-ving, further research is needed to explore the underlying mechanisms behind this curious correlation. So, grab a glass of milk, lock your doors, and join us as we mooo-ve towards a better understanding of dairy-driven burglaries!

ChatGPT:

Milk consumption, burglary correlation, dairy and crime, USDA data, FBI CJIS, milk consumption statistics, Washington burglaries, milk consumption research, dairy-driven burglaries

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Burglaries in Washington
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Washington
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Washington

Correlation r = 0.9550827 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9121830 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 91.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Washington) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.1E-17. 0.0000000000000000214832898451
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.96 in 2.1E-15% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 46,547,805,629,875,832 random variables You don't actually need 46 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.91, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Burglaries in Washington (Burglary rate)1262.91235.51121.71067.21044.21091.21057.51106.31062.5949.4907.3884.7905.7950.4976.8959.1920817.4811.3796818.5828.9890.1838.7784.1713.9676.4588.3537.4459.4522.1533.8




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([1262.9,1235.5,1121.7,1067.2,1044.2,1091.2,1057.5,1106.3,1062.5,949.4,907.3,884.7,905.7,950.4,976.8,959.1,920,817.4,811.3,796,818.5,828.9,890.1,838.7,784.1,713.9,676.4,588.3,537.4,459.4,522.1,533.8,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Washington"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 4167 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20126
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