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Spurious correlation #4,145 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Burglaries in Alabama and the second variable is The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As burglaries in Alabama decreased, the demand for payroll and timekeeping clerks also decreased because there were fewer stolen hours for them to track. Looks like even the job market is affected by a lack of crime time!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a sleek, futuristic office with holographic displays and neon lights casting an otherworldly glow. In the center, a desk once piled high with timecards and payrolls now sits mostly empty, with an advanced AI system efficiently managing the remaining workload. In the background, a large digital screen displays a visual representation of declining burglaries in Alabama, graphically showcasing the impact of reduced criminal activity on the office's workload. The overall ambiance should exude a sense of technological advancement and societal progress, blending elements of cyberpunk with a tangible sense of positive change. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cyberpunk Brutalism Data cyber art Magic realism An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie
ChatGPT: Cyberpunk

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama, in the following situation: As burglaries in Alabama decreased, the demand for payroll and timekeeping clerks also decreased because there were fewer stolen hours for them to track. Looks like even the job market is affected by a lack of crime time!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: As burglaries in Alabama decreased, the demand for payroll and timekeeping clerks also decreased. Picture a bustling office with fewer stacks of timecards and payrolls to process, symbolizing the decrease in demand for clerks. At the same time, a graph depicting a declining trend in burglaries stands proudly on the wall, indicating the decrease in criminal activities affecting the workload.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cyberpunk ] and depicting this scene: As burglaries in Alabama decreased, the demand for payroll and timekeeping clerks also decreased. Picture a bustling office with fewer stacks of timecards and payrolls to process, symbolizing the decrease in demand for clerks. At the same time, a graph depicting a declining trend in burglaries stands proudly on the wall, indicating the decrease in criminal activities affecting the workload. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a sleek, futuristic office with holographic displays and neon lights casting an otherworldly glow. In the center, a desk once piled high with timecards and payrolls now sits mostly empty, with an advanced AI system efficiently managing the remaining workload. In the background, a large digital screen displays a visual representation of declining burglaries in Alabama, graphically showcasing the impact of reduced criminal activity on the office's workload. The overall ambiance should exude a sense of technological advancement and societal progress, blending elements of cyberpunk with a tangible sense of positive change.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Burglaries in Alabama caused The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama to decrease. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama

The Journal of Criminal Clerical Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The intertwining of crime and labor statistics often elicits as much curiosity as it does skepticism. Yet, amidst the serious hunt for correlations and causations, there is room for a touch of levity. As we embark on this unconventional investigation, let us pause to appreciate the delightful dance of data points and the sheer audacity of burglars finding their way into the realms of HR.

Burglaries, a perennial concern for law enforcement agencies and homeowners alike, have long been a subject of rigorous analysis. The prevalence of these unlawful entries sparks a question that is as puzzling as it is intriguing: What, if any, is the connection between these nefarious activities and the unassuming domain of payroll and timekeeping clerks? Perhaps the real question is, why did the burglar rob the bank time clock? Because he wanted to "clock" some overtime!

Setting aside the notion of criminals moonlighting as meticulous timekeepers, our attention turns to Alabama, the heart of the Deep South. With its rich history and diverse economic landscape, Alabama offers a unique backdrop for our exploratory study. Here, nestled within the labyrinth of data, we sought to discern patterns and correlations that might provide insight into the unseen forces shaping the state's socio-economic fabric.

The foundation of our investigation lies in the wealth of information meticulously recorded by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Through the diligent curation and analysis of these datasets, we embarked on a quest to unearth the hidden tapestry weaving together the enigmatic relationship between burglary rates and the workforce dedicated to the meticulous art of payroll and timekeeping. It is as if burglars and timekeepers are engaged in a dance – one trying to get in, the other trying to keep track!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intertwining of crime and labor statistics often elicits as much curiosity as it does skepticism. Yet, amidst the serious hunt for correlations and causations, there is room for a touch of levity. As we embark on this unconventional investigation, let us pause to appreciate the delightful dance of data points and the sheer audacity of burglars finding their way into the realms of HR.
Burglaries, a perennial concern for law enforcement agencies and homeowners alike, have long been a subject of rigorous analysis. The prevalence of these unlawful entries sparks a question that is as puzzling as it is intriguing: What, if any, is the connection between these nefarious activities and the unassuming domain of payroll and timekeeping clerks? Perhaps the real question is, why did the burglar rob the bank time clock? Because he wanted to "clock" some overtime!
Setting aside the notion of criminals moonlighting as meticulous timekeepers, our attention turns to Alabama, the heart of the Deep South. With its rich history and diverse economic landscape, Alabama offers a unique backdrop for our exploratory study. Here, nestled within the labyrinth of data, we sought to discern patterns and correlations that might provide insight into the unseen forces shaping the state's socio-economic fabric.
The foundation of our investigation lies in the wealth of information meticulously recorded by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Through the diligent curation and analysis of these datasets, we embarked on a quest to unearth the hidden tapestry weaving together the enigmatic relationship between burglary rates and the workforce dedicated to the meticulous art of payroll and timekeeping. It is as if burglars and timekeepers are engaged in a dance – one trying to get in, the other trying to keep track!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The connection between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama has puzzled researchers for decades, prompting a plethora of scholarly investigations into this unlikely pairing. Smith, in their seminal work "Crime and Labor Dynamics," posits that the presence of a robust payroll administration infrastructure may act as a deterrent to criminal activities, given the possibility of more stringent monitoring and documentation of employee records. This notion raises an important question: Are payroll clerks the unsung heroes in the battle against burglaries, akin to Clark Kent's undercover role as Superman? Speaking of superheroes, did you hear about the crime-fighting timekeeper? He was always in the right place at the right time!

On a more serious note, Doe's comprehensive study "The Economics of Crime in Southern States" delves into the socio-economic factors underpinning criminal behavior, identifying a curious correlation between fluctuations in the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks and shifts in burglary rates across various counties in Alabama. Their findings hint at a potential interplay between labor market dynamics and criminal activity, leaving us to wonder if burglars are secretly aficionados of time sheets and pay stubs. It's almost as if they break into inboxes just to decipher encrypted payslips!

Additionally, Jones' research in "The Ripple Effect: Labor Trends and Crime Wave Analysis" offers valuable insights into the ripple effects of labor trends on crime waves. Their analysis suggests a nuanced relationship between the ebb and flow of payroll and timekeeping clerk employment and the prevalence of burglaries, albeit with a touch of whimsy in their description of the clandestine ballet between white-collar workers and nighttime intruders. It's like a high-stakes game of cat-and-mouse, with the cat meticulously documenting working hours and the mouse trying to sneak in undetected.

Turning to non-fiction literature, "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell offers a compelling exploration of patterns and outliers in societal phenomena, provoking us to ponder if the clustering of payroll and timekeeping clerks in certain areas might serve as a beacon for burglars seeking vulnerable targets. Let's hope these clerks have time clocks, not crooks, on their minds! On the other hand, "The Art of Intrusion" by Kevin Mitnick delves into the psychology of hackers and infiltrators, offering a tangential yet thought-provoking perspective on the intricate art of gaining unauthorized access. Who knew that intruders could find inspiration from the world of payroll and timekeeping?

In the realm of fiction, "The Burglar in the Rye" by Lawrence Block and "The Timekeeper's Wife" by Mitch Albom invite us to suspend disbelief and indulge in imaginative narratives that subtly weave threads of criminal exploits and timekeeping whimsy. Perhaps these works hold the key to unlocking the clandestine intertwining of burglaries and payroll clerks in Alabama! It's like a heist movie where the unlikely protagonist is a quirky timekeeping clerk with a knack for foiling thieves – call it "The Clock Strikes Thrice"!

As the literature review expands to embrace popular culture, television shows such as "White Collar" and "9-1-1: Lone Star" beckon us into the world of sophisticated crime capers and the intricate dance of law enforcement and criminal genius, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the allure of high-stakes infiltration and the pursuit of justice. It's almost as if burglars and timekeeping clerks are characters in an elaborate plot with unexpected twists and turns – who's to say they're not secretly co-stars in a thrilling crime drama?

Stay tuned for the next section, where we delve into our own empirical analysis and bring a touch of whimsy to the world of scholarly research!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intertwining of crime and labor statistics often elicits as much curiosity as it does skepticism. Yet, amidst the serious hunt for correlations and causations, there is room for a touch of levity. As we embark on this unconventional investigation, let us pause to appreciate the delightful dance of data points and the sheer audacity of burglars finding their way into the realms of HR.
Burglaries, a perennial concern for law enforcement agencies and homeowners alike, have long been a subject of rigorous analysis. The prevalence of these unlawful entries sparks a question that is as puzzling as it is intriguing: What, if any, is the connection between these nefarious activities and the unassuming domain of payroll and timekeeping clerks? Perhaps the real question is, why did the burglar rob the bank time clock? Because he wanted to "clock" some overtime!
Setting aside the notion of criminals moonlighting as meticulous timekeepers, our attention turns to Alabama, the heart of the Deep South. With its rich history and diverse economic landscape, Alabama offers a unique backdrop for our exploratory study. Here, nestled within the labyrinth of data, we sought to discern patterns and correlations that might provide insight into the unseen forces shaping the state's socio-economic fabric.
The foundation of our investigation lies in the wealth of information meticulously recorded by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Through the diligent curation and analysis of these datasets, we embarked on a quest to unearth the hidden tapestry weaving together the enigmatic relationship between burglary rates and the workforce dedicated to the meticulous art of payroll and timekeeping. It is as if burglars and timekeepers are engaged in a dance – one trying to get in, the other trying to keep track!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

The methodology employed in this study entailed a rigorous and multifaceted approach that sought to unveil the intricate connection between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. Our research team, comprised of individuals with a penchant for both data analysis and dad jokes, endeavored to illuminate this unexpected relationship.

First, we meticulously gathered data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Our team combed through vast databases, navigating through the digital equivalent of a labyrinth – not entirely dissimilar to a burglar navigating a complex security system. It was as if we were in a race against time, just like payroll and timekeeping clerks!

Next, a series of complex statistical analyses were performed, including correlation and regression analyses, to ascertain the strength and significance of the relationship between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks. The data underwent rigorous scrutiny and interrogation, similar to a suspect in a crime drama – although luckily for us, the evidence was much more cooperative.

Furthermore, a time-series analysis was conducted to discern any temporal patterns or trends within the data spanning from 2003 to 2022. This part of the analysis was reminiscent of a detective attempting to reconstruct the sequence of events leading up to a crime, albeit with less dramatic background music.

To ensure the reliability and robustness of our findings, a variety of sensitivity analyses were performed, akin to stress-testing the data to evaluate its resilience. After all, the correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks had to withstand its share of statistical incursions.

Finally, to add a whimsical twist to our methodology, we assessed the human element by conducting informal interviews with select payroll and timekeeping clerks, indulging in light-hearted banter while gathering valuable insights. It was an opportunity to humanize the data – much like how a cleverly timed dad joke can humanize a dry academic paper.

In conclusion, our methodology strove to combine methodological rigor with a touch of lightheartedness, much like a seasoned detective with a knack for puns. The seemingly incongruous pairing of crime and clerks was approached with the seriousness it deserved, yet not without a sprinkling of whimsy.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9508284, r-squared of 0.9040747, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The intertwining of crime and labor statistics often elicits as much curiosity as it does skepticism. Yet, amidst the serious hunt for correlations and causations, there is room for a touch of levity. As we embark on this unconventional investigation, let us pause to appreciate the delightful dance of data points and the sheer audacity of burglars finding their way into the realms of HR.
Burglaries, a perennial concern for law enforcement agencies and homeowners alike, have long been a subject of rigorous analysis. The prevalence of these unlawful entries sparks a question that is as puzzling as it is intriguing: What, if any, is the connection between these nefarious activities and the unassuming domain of payroll and timekeeping clerks? Perhaps the real question is, why did the burglar rob the bank time clock? Because he wanted to "clock" some overtime!
Setting aside the notion of criminals moonlighting as meticulous timekeepers, our attention turns to Alabama, the heart of the Deep South. With its rich history and diverse economic landscape, Alabama offers a unique backdrop for our exploratory study. Here, nestled within the labyrinth of data, we sought to discern patterns and correlations that might provide insight into the unseen forces shaping the state's socio-economic fabric.
The foundation of our investigation lies in the wealth of information meticulously recorded by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Through the diligent curation and analysis of these datasets, we embarked on a quest to unearth the hidden tapestry weaving together the enigmatic relationship between burglary rates and the workforce dedicated to the meticulous art of payroll and timekeeping. It is as if burglars and timekeepers are engaged in a dance – one trying to get in, the other trying to keep track!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our investigation unveiled a striking correlation between the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama and the rate of burglaries over the period of 2003 to 2022. The correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 indicated a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct phenomena. This correlation suggests that as the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. It appears that the more closely time is tracked, the more opportunities burglars find to sneak in uninvited! It's almost as if burglars have a personal interest in payroll growth!

The scatterplot in Figure 1 visually depicts the robust association between the variables, emphasizing the tight clustering of data points around the upward trend line. The strength of this correlation is further supported by the observed r-squared value of 0.9040747, indicating that approximately 90% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by changes in the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks. It's safe to say that the burglars and timekeepers are in sync, although likely not by choice!

The p-value of less than 0.01 highlights the significance of this correlation, further cementing the validity of our findings. The probability of observing such a strong relationship between these variables due to random chance alone is exceedingly rare, leading us to confidently reject the null hypothesis. This deeply-rooted connection between burglary rates and the employment of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama suggests an intricate interplay between criminal activities and the labor ecosystem in the state. It's as if the burglars are clocking in and out along with the clerks!

Our research provides compelling evidence that the fluctuations in the population of payroll and timekeeping clerks may influence burglary rates in Alabama, shedding a novel light on the dynamics of crime and labor within the state. This unexpected correlation offers an engaging perspective on the intricate web of sociological and economic factors that shape criminal behavior and workforce composition, leaving us to wonder if the burglars are keeping track of local employment trends!

In summary, our findings emphasize the nuanced interactions between seemingly disparate domains, hinting at underlying patterns that transcend conventional wisdom. The role of these peculiar findings in informing policy and sociological discourse remains ripe for exploration, challenging us to rethink the conventional boundaries of statistical analysis and the unexpected connections therein. Our study not only yields valuable insights but also invites lighthearted reflection on the curious convergence of crime and clerks, leaving us with a smile and a newfound appreciation for the whimsical machinations of data. It's almost as if the burglars and clerks have been working in mysterious ways!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The connection between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama has puzzled researchers for decades, prompting a plethora of scholarly investigations into this unlikely pairing. Smith, in their seminal work "Crime and Labor Dynamics," posits that the presence of a robust payroll administration infrastructure may act as a deterrent to criminal activities, given the possibility of more stringent monitoring and documentation of employee records. This notion raises an important question: Are payroll clerks the unsung heroes in the battle against burglaries, akin to Clark Kent's undercover role as Superman? Speaking of superheroes, did you hear about the crime-fighting timekeeper? He was always in the right place at the right time!
On a more serious note, Doe's comprehensive study "The Economics of Crime in Southern States" delves into the socio-economic factors underpinning criminal behavior, identifying a curious correlation between fluctuations in the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks and shifts in burglary rates across various counties in Alabama. Their findings hint at a potential interplay between labor market dynamics and criminal activity, leaving us to wonder if burglars are secretly aficionados of time sheets and pay stubs. It's almost as if they break into inboxes just to decipher encrypted payslips!
Additionally, Jones' research in "The Ripple Effect: Labor Trends and Crime Wave Analysis" offers valuable insights into the ripple effects of labor trends on crime waves. Their analysis suggests a nuanced relationship between the ebb and flow of payroll and timekeeping clerk employment and the prevalence of burglaries, albeit with a touch of whimsy in their description of the clandestine ballet between white-collar workers and nighttime intruders. It's like a high-stakes game of cat-and-mouse, with the cat meticulously documenting working hours and the mouse trying to sneak in undetected.
Turning to non-fiction literature, "Outliers: The Story of Success" by Malcolm Gladwell offers a compelling exploration of patterns and outliers in societal phenomena, provoking us to ponder if the clustering of payroll and timekeeping clerks in certain areas might serve as a beacon for burglars seeking vulnerable targets. Let's hope these clerks have time clocks, not crooks, on their minds! On the other hand, "The Art of Intrusion" by Kevin Mitnick delves into the psychology of hackers and infiltrators, offering a tangential yet thought-provoking perspective on the intricate art of gaining unauthorized access. Who knew that intruders could find inspiration from the world of payroll and timekeeping?
In the realm of fiction, "The Burglar in the Rye" by Lawrence Block and "The Timekeeper's Wife" by Mitch Albom invite us to suspend disbelief and indulge in imaginative narratives that subtly weave threads of criminal exploits and timekeeping whimsy. Perhaps these works hold the key to unlocking the clandestine intertwining of burglaries and payroll clerks in Alabama! It's like a heist movie where the unlikely protagonist is a quirky timekeeping clerk with a knack for foiling thieves – call it "The Clock Strikes Thrice"!
As the literature review expands to embrace popular culture, television shows such as "White Collar" and "9-1-1: Lone Star" beckon us into the world of sophisticated crime capers and the intricate dance of law enforcement and criminal genius, offering a tantalizing glimpse into the allure of high-stakes infiltration and the pursuit of justice. It's almost as if burglars and timekeeping clerks are characters in an elaborate plot with unexpected twists and turns – who's to say they're not secretly co-stars in a thrilling crime drama?
Stay tuned for the next section, where we delve into our own empirical analysis and bring a touch of whimsy to the world of scholarly research!

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation unveiled a striking correlation between the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama and the rate of burglaries over the period of 2003 to 2022. The correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 indicated a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct phenomena. This correlation suggests that as the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. It appears that the more closely time is tracked, the more opportunities burglars find to sneak in uninvited! It's almost as if burglars have a personal interest in payroll growth!
The scatterplot in Figure 1 visually depicts the robust association between the variables, emphasizing the tight clustering of data points around the upward trend line. The strength of this correlation is further supported by the observed r-squared value of 0.9040747, indicating that approximately 90% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by changes in the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks. It's safe to say that the burglars and timekeepers are in sync, although likely not by choice!
The p-value of less than 0.01 highlights the significance of this correlation, further cementing the validity of our findings. The probability of observing such a strong relationship between these variables due to random chance alone is exceedingly rare, leading us to confidently reject the null hypothesis. This deeply-rooted connection between burglary rates and the employment of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama suggests an intricate interplay between criminal activities and the labor ecosystem in the state. It's as if the burglars are clocking in and out along with the clerks!
Our research provides compelling evidence that the fluctuations in the population of payroll and timekeeping clerks may influence burglary rates in Alabama, shedding a novel light on the dynamics of crime and labor within the state. This unexpected correlation offers an engaging perspective on the intricate web of sociological and economic factors that shape criminal behavior and workforce composition, leaving us to wonder if the burglars are keeping track of local employment trends!
In summary, our findings emphasize the nuanced interactions between seemingly disparate domains, hinting at underlying patterns that transcend conventional wisdom. The role of these peculiar findings in informing policy and sociological discourse remains ripe for exploration, challenging us to rethink the conventional boundaries of statistical analysis and the unexpected connections therein. Our study not only yields valuable insights but also invites lighthearted reflection on the curious convergence of crime and clerks, leaving us with a smile and a newfound appreciation for the whimsical machinations of data. It's almost as if the burglars and clerks have been working in mysterious ways!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our research has uncovered an intriguing correlation between the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama and burglary rates, shedding light on an unconventional yet captivating relationship. Our findings not only support prior research but also elevate the discourse surrounding the interplay between criminal activities and labor dynamics in the heart of Dixie. It seems that the burglars have a keen interest in the payroll – perhaps they just can't resist the allure of timekeeping!

The robust correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 aligns closely with existing literature, reinforcing the notion that labor administration may indeed play a role in shaping criminal behavior. The impact of workforce composition on burglary rates in Alabama appears to be more than a mere statistical quirk – it's like a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces of labor and crime fit oddly well together. It's almost as if the burglars are clocking in for their nefarious deeds!

Furthermore, our findings resonate with prior studies that have hinted at the potential influence of labor market trends on criminal activities. The ripple effects of labor dynamics on crime waves, as posited by Jones in "The Ripple Effect: Labor Trends and Crime Wave Analysis," seem to manifest in the peculiar dance between payroll clerks and nighttime intruders. It's almost as if the burglars have been keeping time all along, waiting for the opportune moment to strike!

On a more whimsical note, our results not only contribute to the burgeoning literature on the nexus of crime and labor but also invite a lighthearted contemplation of the unexpected connections hiding within the depths of data analysis. It's like a game of cat-and-mouse, where the cat meticulously documents working hours and the mouse tries to sneak in undetected, only to be caught in the web of statistical correlation. Our research study serves as a reminder that unexpected relationships often lie beneath the surface of empirical analysis, waiting to be unearthed with a touch of statistical dexterity and a dash of humor.

The unmistakable correlation between payroll and burglary in Alabama not only challenges conventional wisdom but also prompts a reevaluation of the intricate interdependencies that shape societal phenomena. The whimsy of our findings may indeed lead us to reframe the way we approach statistical analysis, infusing it with a touch of levity and a newfound appreciation for the surprising connections lurking in the data, much like a good dad joke waiting to be cracked. Our study stands as a testament to the multifaceted nature of scholarly inquiry, reminding us that serious research can also make us smile – just like the cheeky wit of a well-timed pun!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Alabama and The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.

Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.

Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The intertwining of crime and labor statistics often elicits as much curiosity as it does skepticism. Yet, amidst the serious hunt for correlations and causations, there is room for a touch of levity. As we embark on this unconventional investigation, let us pause to appreciate the delightful dance of data points and the sheer audacity of burglars finding their way into the realms of HR.
Burglaries, a perennial concern for law enforcement agencies and homeowners alike, have long been a subject of rigorous analysis. The prevalence of these unlawful entries sparks a question that is as puzzling as it is intriguing: What, if any, is the connection between these nefarious activities and the unassuming domain of payroll and timekeeping clerks? Perhaps the real question is, why did the burglar rob the bank time clock? Because he wanted to "clock" some overtime!
Setting aside the notion of criminals moonlighting as meticulous timekeepers, our attention turns to Alabama, the heart of the Deep South. With its rich history and diverse economic landscape, Alabama offers a unique backdrop for our exploratory study. Here, nestled within the labyrinth of data, we sought to discern patterns and correlations that might provide insight into the unseen forces shaping the state's socio-economic fabric.
The foundation of our investigation lies in the wealth of information meticulously recorded by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. Through the diligent curation and analysis of these datasets, we embarked on a quest to unearth the hidden tapestry weaving together the enigmatic relationship between burglary rates and the workforce dedicated to the meticulous art of payroll and timekeeping. It is as if burglars and timekeepers are engaged in a dance – one trying to get in, the other trying to keep track!

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation unveiled a striking correlation between the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama and the rate of burglaries over the period of 2003 to 2022. The correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 indicated a remarkably strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct phenomena. This correlation suggests that as the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. It appears that the more closely time is tracked, the more opportunities burglars find to sneak in uninvited! It's almost as if burglars have a personal interest in payroll growth!
The scatterplot in Figure 1 visually depicts the robust association between the variables, emphasizing the tight clustering of data points around the upward trend line. The strength of this correlation is further supported by the observed r-squared value of 0.9040747, indicating that approximately 90% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by changes in the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks. It's safe to say that the burglars and timekeepers are in sync, although likely not by choice!
The p-value of less than 0.01 highlights the significance of this correlation, further cementing the validity of our findings. The probability of observing such a strong relationship between these variables due to random chance alone is exceedingly rare, leading us to confidently reject the null hypothesis. This deeply-rooted connection between burglary rates and the employment of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama suggests an intricate interplay between criminal activities and the labor ecosystem in the state. It's as if the burglars are clocking in and out along with the clerks!
Our research provides compelling evidence that the fluctuations in the population of payroll and timekeeping clerks may influence burglary rates in Alabama, shedding a novel light on the dynamics of crime and labor within the state. This unexpected correlation offers an engaging perspective on the intricate web of sociological and economic factors that shape criminal behavior and workforce composition, leaving us to wonder if the burglars are keeping track of local employment trends!
In summary, our findings emphasize the nuanced interactions between seemingly disparate domains, hinting at underlying patterns that transcend conventional wisdom. The role of these peculiar findings in informing policy and sociological discourse remains ripe for exploration, challenging us to rethink the conventional boundaries of statistical analysis and the unexpected connections therein. Our study not only yields valuable insights but also invites lighthearted reflection on the curious convergence of crime and clerks, leaving us with a smile and a newfound appreciation for the whimsical machinations of data. It's almost as if the burglars and clerks have been working in mysterious ways!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study unraveled a compelling correlation between the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama and the rates of burglaries over the period of 2003 to 2022. The significant correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 elucidated the unexpected synchrony between these seemingly unrelated variables. It's as if the burglars have a keen interest in the meticulous art of timekeeping – perhaps they're trying to steal some "time" for themselves!

Our findings not only emphasize the unexpected interplay between crime and labor but also spark amusing reflections on the whimsical ways in which data can dance together. While our study may have shed light on this peculiar correlation, it also raises the question – are the burglars clocking in and out along with the clerks? It's undoubtedly a case of "breaking news" in the world of statistical analysis!

After all is said and done, it's crystal clear that no more research is needed in this area. We've hit the "jackpot" of unexpected correlations! It's as if the burglars and clerks have been working in mysterious ways, showing us that even in the serious world of research, there's always room for a dash of humor and a twist of the unexpected. With this, we confidently conclude that our findings have not only enriched the scholarly landscape but also added a touch of amusement to the study of crime and labor dynamics. It's almost as if the burglars and clerks have been conspiring to keep us entertained!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Criminal Clerical Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Quirky Accounting Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Breaking Down the Numbers: The Burglar's Bounty - A Tale of Payroll and Timekeeping Clerks in Alabama with an abstract of In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between burglary rates and the number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in the heart of Dixie, Alabama. Our research team, with a penchant for quirky data analysis, sought to shed light on this peculiar relationship. We utilized data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the Bureau of Labor Statistics to unravel this enigma, leaving no stone unturned.
Our findings revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9508284 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022. This discovery prompted the following dad joke: Why don't burglars ever hold jobs in HR? Because they prefer breaking and entering, not payroll and timekeeping! Our analysis also unearthed valuable insights into the potential influence of workforce administration on burglary trends in Alabama, much to the amusement of our research team.
Armed with statistical rigor and a splash of humor, our paper sets out to contribute to both the fields of criminology and labor economics, while infusing a light-hearted touch to the scholarly landscape. So, dear reader, get ready for an amusing yet thought-provoking journey through the captivating correlation between these seemingly unrelated phenomena.

ChatGPT:

Alabama, burglary rates, payroll clerks, timekeeping clerks, correlation, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, Bureau of Labor Statistics, workforce administration, criminology, labor economics, correlation coefficient, p-value, statistical analysis

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Burglaries in Alabama
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Alabama
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Alabama

The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama

Correlation r = 0.9508284 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9040747 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 90.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Burglaries in Alabama) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.3E-10. 0.0000000001334428230644842700
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.95 in 1.3E-8% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 7,493,846,256 random variables You don't actually need 7 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.88, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Burglaries in Alabama (Burglary rate)960.2987955.8973.7980.61081.31037.3887.81064.2985.6877.3819.6726.5700.4641.4595.4505.4399.5269283.9
The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama (Laborers)28402850315033903240326029602970277026702740256025802400194018701690159012501130




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([960.2,987,955.8,973.7,980.6,1081.3,1037.3,887.8,1064.2,985.6,877.3,819.6,726.5,700.4,641.4,595.4,505.4,399.5,269,283.9,])
array_2 = np.array([2840,2850,3150,3390,3240,3260,2960,2970,2770,2670,2740,2560,2580,2400,1940,1870,1690,1590,1250,1130,])
array_1_name = "Burglaries in Alabama"
array_2_name = "The number of payroll and timekeeping clerks in Alabama"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 4145 · Black Variable ID: 20083 · Red Variable ID: 4580
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