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Spurious correlation #3,892 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Washington.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people consumed less cottage cheese, they emitted fewer lactose-induced sleep sounds, leading to decreased deep sleep. The resulting increase in semi-conscious awareness created a collective neighborhood watch, deterring potential burglars. So, remember, the curd may be the key to curbing crime!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [ inspired by a popular meme template ] In a cozy kitchen in Washington, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal. The table is set with a bowl of cottage cheese at the center as the focal point, while the family members smile and interact. Meanwhile, outside in the neighborhood, we see a series of houses with distinct dairy products on their doorsteps. The image could humorously depict lactose-intolerant burglars cautiously passing by these homes, choosing to avoid them and thereby unintentionally contributing to a decrease in burglaries, creating a safer community. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cyberpunk Surrealism inspired by a popular meme template Surrealism Cyber folk
ChatGPT: inspired by a popular meme template

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington, in the following situation: A decrease in cottage cheese consumption caused burglaries in Washington to decrease because the burglars were lactose intolerant and couldn't handle the aftermath of a dairy-heavy heist.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a cozy kitchen in Washington, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal, with a bowl of cottage cheese at the center. Meanwhile, outside in the neighborhood, the number of burglaries decreases as the lactose-intolerant burglars make a conscious choice to avoid the dairy-heavy homes, leading to a safer community.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ inspired by a popular meme template ] and depicting this scene: In a cozy kitchen in Washington, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal, with a bowl of cottage cheese at the center. Meanwhile, outside in the neighborhood, the number of burglaries decreases as the lactose-intolerant burglars make a conscious choice to avoid the dairy-heavy homes, leading to a safer community. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [ inspired by a popular meme template ] In a cozy kitchen in Washington, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal. The table is set with a bowl of cottage cheese at the center as the focal point, while the family members smile and interact. Meanwhile, outside in the neighborhood, we see a series of houses with distinct dairy products on their doorsteps. The image could humorously depict lactose-intolerant burglars cautiously passing by these homes, choosing to avoid them and thereby unintentionally contributing to a decrease in burglaries, creating a safer community.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Burglaries in Washington to decrease.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington

Journal of Dairy Deviance

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
Introduction

Nestled among the idyllic landscapes and bustling cityscapes of Washington lies a curdled mystery waiting to be unraveled. The unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries has piqued our scientific curiosity, leading us down a path filled with cheesy puns and unsuspecting revelations. Our research seeks to shed light on this enigmatic correlation and delve deeper into the dairy-induced shenanigans that may be at play.

While cottage cheese has long been hailed as a staple of wholesome nutrition, our investigation reveals a potentially darker side to this innocuous dairy delight. The state of Washington, known for its picturesque views and progressive attitudes, appears to harbor a curd connection that elicits both bewilderment and amusement. As we delve into this peculiar juxtaposition, we invite readers to suspend their disbelief and embrace the bizarre as we venture into the realms of dairy-induced deviance.

Our findings promise to challenge traditional assumptions about the impact of dairy products on human behavior, prompting us to question the very essence of "cottage crime." As we juggle statistical analyses and lactose-laden larceny, our research opens the door to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected interplay between culinary choices and criminal inclinations.

In this paper, we invite readers to don their detective hats, grab a spoonful of cottage cheese, and embark on a voyage through the sometimes absurd and always intriguing world of dairy-driven delinquency. Cue the "cottage crime" conspiracy theories and dairy detectives, for we are about to embark on a journey that is as entertaining as it is enlightening. As we navigate through this "cheesy" odyssey, we encourage readers to embrace the whimsy and wonder that accompany our quest for understanding the cottage cheese burglary conundrum. Let the curd-curious adventure begin!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Nestled among the idyllic landscapes and bustling cityscapes of Washington lies a curdled mystery waiting to be unraveled. The unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries has piqued our scientific curiosity, leading us down a path filled with cheesy puns and unsuspecting revelations. Our research seeks to shed light on this enigmatic correlation and delve deeper into the dairy-induced shenanigans that may be at play.
While cottage cheese has long been hailed as a staple of wholesome nutrition, our investigation reveals a potentially darker side to this innocuous dairy delight. The state of Washington, known for its picturesque views and progressive attitudes, appears to harbor a curd connection that elicits both bewilderment and amusement. As we delve into this peculiar juxtaposition, we invite readers to suspend their disbelief and embrace the bizarre as we venture into the realms of dairy-induced deviance.
Our findings promise to challenge traditional assumptions about the impact of dairy products on human behavior, prompting us to question the very essence of "cottage crime." As we juggle statistical analyses and lactose-laden larceny, our research opens the door to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected interplay between culinary choices and criminal inclinations.
In this paper, we invite readers to don their detective hats, grab a spoonful of cottage cheese, and embark on a voyage through the sometimes absurd and always intriguing world of dairy-driven delinquency. Cue the "cottage crime" conspiracy theories and dairy detectives, for we are about to embark on a journey that is as entertaining as it is enlightening. As we navigate through this "cheesy" odyssey, we encourage readers to embrace the whimsy and wonder that accompany our quest for understanding the cottage cheese burglary conundrum. Let the curd-curious adventure begin!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
Literature Review

Several studies have delved into the nuanced dynamics of dairy consumption and its potential influence on criminal activities. Smith et al. (2015) explored the broader relationship between food preferences and deviant behavior, uncovering insightful connections between cheese consumption and petty theft in urban environments. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones (2018) investigated the associations between calcium-rich foods and impulsivity, shedding light on the surprising impact of dairy products on decision-making processes.

Extending beyond academic research, popular non-fiction works such as "The Cheese Trap" by Neal D. Barnard and "The Big Milk" by David H. White have engaged readers in contemplations about the societal implications of dairy consumption. In the realm of fiction, literary classics like "The Cheddar Identity" by Robert Ludlum and "To Brie or Not to Brie" by Avery Aames have woven tales of intrigue, centered around dairy-driven mysteries and clandestine cheese capers.

Drawing from the world of animated entertainment, episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "Tom and Jerry" have provided invaluable insights into the mischievous potential of dairy products, offering glimpses into the whimsical world of anthropomorphic cheese and its entanglements with petty theft. Furthermore, children's shows such as "Sesame Street" have playfully elucidated the consequences of impulsive dairy confections, underscoring the potential influence of cottage cheese consumption on juvenile delinquency.

The existence of this unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington raises not only eyebrows but also a whole new set of "cheese-curious" questions. As we embark on this exploratory journey, it becomes increasingly evident that the "wheyward" path of dairy-induced deviance demands further examination. This review seeks to synthesize a whimsical fusion of serious scholarship and light-hearted humor, inviting readers to join in the laughter-filled quest for understanding the curiously delightful connection between cottage cheese and criminal capers.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Nestled among the idyllic landscapes and bustling cityscapes of Washington lies a curdled mystery waiting to be unraveled. The unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries has piqued our scientific curiosity, leading us down a path filled with cheesy puns and unsuspecting revelations. Our research seeks to shed light on this enigmatic correlation and delve deeper into the dairy-induced shenanigans that may be at play.
While cottage cheese has long been hailed as a staple of wholesome nutrition, our investigation reveals a potentially darker side to this innocuous dairy delight. The state of Washington, known for its picturesque views and progressive attitudes, appears to harbor a curd connection that elicits both bewilderment and amusement. As we delve into this peculiar juxtaposition, we invite readers to suspend their disbelief and embrace the bizarre as we venture into the realms of dairy-induced deviance.
Our findings promise to challenge traditional assumptions about the impact of dairy products on human behavior, prompting us to question the very essence of "cottage crime." As we juggle statistical analyses and lactose-laden larceny, our research opens the door to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected interplay between culinary choices and criminal inclinations.
In this paper, we invite readers to don their detective hats, grab a spoonful of cottage cheese, and embark on a voyage through the sometimes absurd and always intriguing world of dairy-driven delinquency. Cue the "cottage crime" conspiracy theories and dairy detectives, for we are about to embark on a journey that is as entertaining as it is enlightening. As we navigate through this "cheesy" odyssey, we encourage readers to embrace the whimsy and wonder that accompany our quest for understanding the cottage cheese burglary conundrum. Let the curd-curious adventure begin!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Sample Selection:
In this research, we embarked on a truly "grate" odyssey to uncover the connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington. The first step in our investigation involved the careful selection of data sources to ensure the most "gouda" quality information. Our research team meticulously combed through a plethora of data archives, ultimately focusing on repositories from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. By harnessing the power of dairy determination and crime-fighting fervor, we gathered data spanning the years 1990 to 2021 with the precision of a seasoned cheese grater.

Cottage Cheese Consumption Data Collection:
Unveiling the mysteries of cottage cheese consumption required a blend of methodical scrutiny and sheer "dairy" determination. With the diligence of a cheese connoisseur, we meticulously sifted through records of cottage cheese production, sales, and consumption patterns across the state of Washington. The data, akin to a treasure trove of "dairylicious" delights, provided insight into the ebb and flow of cottage cheese preferences throughout the years, exposing the nuanced dynamics of cheesy indulgence in the Evergreen State.

Burglaries Data Collection:
Unraveling the clandestine activities of "gouda" burglars demanded a careful examination of crime statistics, a task we approached with a sense of cautious curiosity and a hint of fromage-flavored fortitude. Fueled by the fervor of dairy detectives, we zeroed in on burglary rates, trends, and patterns spanning the same time frame. The FBI Criminal Justice Information Services became our trusty partner in crime analysis, allowing us to peel back the layers of "cheddar chicanery" and delve into the captivating intricacies of unlawful entry and questionable queso connections.

Data Analysis:
Armed with a quiver of statistical tools and a fondness for molecular gastronomy, we applied rigorous methods to scrutinize the relationships between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries. Our analysis harnessed the power of correlation coefficients, regression modeling, and time series analyses to uncover the "whey"ward connections between these seemingly disparate variables. The results, akin to a delightful fondue of revelations, unveiled a compelling association that beckoned for further exploration, leaving us both puzzled and intrigued by the subtleties of curd-driven criminality.

Limitations:
As with any dairy-themed endeavor, our research encountered its fair share of "cottage conundrums." While our data sources provided a rich tapestry of information, the inherent limitations of observational studies and data collection methods introduced a degree of uncertainty into our findings. The dynamic nature of criminal behavior and dietary preferences also posed challenges in capturing the full spectrum of "cheese capers," necessitating a cautious interpretation of our results. Nevertheless, our methodology remained steadfast, guided by a spirit of scientific inquiry and a lighthearted appreciation for the whimsical world of dairy-driven delinquency.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9022798, r-squared of 0.8141088, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Introduction
Nestled among the idyllic landscapes and bustling cityscapes of Washington lies a curdled mystery waiting to be unraveled. The unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries has piqued our scientific curiosity, leading us down a path filled with cheesy puns and unsuspecting revelations. Our research seeks to shed light on this enigmatic correlation and delve deeper into the dairy-induced shenanigans that may be at play.
While cottage cheese has long been hailed as a staple of wholesome nutrition, our investigation reveals a potentially darker side to this innocuous dairy delight. The state of Washington, known for its picturesque views and progressive attitudes, appears to harbor a curd connection that elicits both bewilderment and amusement. As we delve into this peculiar juxtaposition, we invite readers to suspend their disbelief and embrace the bizarre as we venture into the realms of dairy-induced deviance.
Our findings promise to challenge traditional assumptions about the impact of dairy products on human behavior, prompting us to question the very essence of "cottage crime." As we juggle statistical analyses and lactose-laden larceny, our research opens the door to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected interplay between culinary choices and criminal inclinations.
In this paper, we invite readers to don their detective hats, grab a spoonful of cottage cheese, and embark on a voyage through the sometimes absurd and always intriguing world of dairy-driven delinquency. Cue the "cottage crime" conspiracy theories and dairy detectives, for we are about to embark on a journey that is as entertaining as it is enlightening. As we navigate through this "cheesy" odyssey, we encourage readers to embrace the whimsy and wonder that accompany our quest for understanding the cottage cheese burglary conundrum. Let the curd-curious adventure begin!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

Looking at the results of our investigation, we uncovered a rather "gouda" surprise. The correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington from 1990 to 2021 points to a remarkably strong relationship. It seems that when it comes to crime in the Evergreen State, cottage cheese might be up to some "brie-lliant" mischief behind the scenes! The R-squared value of 0.8141088 further reinforces the robustness of this link, indicating that approximately 81.4% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the consumption of this dairy delicacy.

As shown in Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates this striking correlation, with each data point resembling a mischievous curd trying to sneak its way into the realm of criminal activity. It's as if every cottage cheese container holds not only creamy goodness but also a potential for clandestine capers. As we ponder this unexpected connection, we can't help but wonder if there's a cottage cheese conspiracy afoot, with curds orchestrating nighttime escapades under the cover of darkness.

The statistical significance of our findings (p < 0.01) adds a layer of seriousness to what initially seemed like a "cheddar-tained" notion. We found ourselves caught between a "curd" and a hard place, unable to dismiss the evidence of this correlation, no matter how much we tried to "milk" the data for other explanations.

It's a reminder that in the world of research, sometimes the most peculiar relationships can emerge from the most unlikely sources. Who would have thought that the innocent act of enjoying cottage cheese could have such "grate" implications for crime rates? Our results challenge conventional wisdom and serve as a "caerphilly" reminder that beneath the surface of even the most mundane items, there may lie a realm of unexpected intrigue. Whether this correlation is mere happenstance or a "dairy dangerous" plot waiting to be uncovered remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: the "wheys" of cottage cheese have burrowed their way into the annals of criminal statistics in Washington.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Literature Review
Several studies have delved into the nuanced dynamics of dairy consumption and its potential influence on criminal activities. Smith et al. (2015) explored the broader relationship between food preferences and deviant behavior, uncovering insightful connections between cheese consumption and petty theft in urban environments. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones (2018) investigated the associations between calcium-rich foods and impulsivity, shedding light on the surprising impact of dairy products on decision-making processes.
Extending beyond academic research, popular non-fiction works such as "The Cheese Trap" by Neal D. Barnard and "The Big Milk" by David H. White have engaged readers in contemplations about the societal implications of dairy consumption. In the realm of fiction, literary classics like "The Cheddar Identity" by Robert Ludlum and "To Brie or Not to Brie" by Avery Aames have woven tales of intrigue, centered around dairy-driven mysteries and clandestine cheese capers.
Drawing from the world of animated entertainment, episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" and "Tom and Jerry" have provided invaluable insights into the mischievous potential of dairy products, offering glimpses into the whimsical world of anthropomorphic cheese and its entanglements with petty theft. Furthermore, children's shows such as "Sesame Street" have playfully elucidated the consequences of impulsive dairy confections, underscoring the potential influence of cottage cheese consumption on juvenile delinquency.
The existence of this unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington raises not only eyebrows but also a whole new set of "cheese-curious" questions. As we embark on this exploratory journey, it becomes increasingly evident that the "wheyward" path of dairy-induced deviance demands further examination. This review seeks to synthesize a whimsical fusion of serious scholarship and light-hearted humor, inviting readers to join in the laughter-filled quest for understanding the curiously delightful connection between cottage cheese and criminal capers.

[[RESULTS]]
Looking at the results of our investigation, we uncovered a rather "gouda" surprise. The correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington from 1990 to 2021 points to a remarkably strong relationship. It seems that when it comes to crime in the Evergreen State, cottage cheese might be up to some "brie-lliant" mischief behind the scenes! The R-squared value of 0.8141088 further reinforces the robustness of this link, indicating that approximately 81.4% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the consumption of this dairy delicacy.
As shown in Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates this striking correlation, with each data point resembling a mischievous curd trying to sneak its way into the realm of criminal activity. It's as if every cottage cheese container holds not only creamy goodness but also a potential for clandestine capers. As we ponder this unexpected connection, we can't help but wonder if there's a cottage cheese conspiracy afoot, with curds orchestrating nighttime escapades under the cover of darkness.
The statistical significance of our findings (p < 0.01) adds a layer of seriousness to what initially seemed like a "cheddar-tained" notion. We found ourselves caught between a "curd" and a hard place, unable to dismiss the evidence of this correlation, no matter how much we tried to "milk" the data for other explanations.
It's a reminder that in the world of research, sometimes the most peculiar relationships can emerge from the most unlikely sources. Who would have thought that the innocent act of enjoying cottage cheese could have such "grate" implications for crime rates? Our results challenge conventional wisdom and serve as a "caerphilly" reminder that beneath the surface of even the most mundane items, there may lie a realm of unexpected intrigue. Whether this correlation is mere happenstance or a "dairy dangerous" plot waiting to be uncovered remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: the "wheys" of cottage cheese have burrowed their way into the annals of criminal statistics in Washington.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The linkage between "curdle crime" and cottage cheese consumption in Washington has caused quite a stir, compelling us to delve into the whey-ward labyrinth of dairy-induced deviance. Our results not only validate the delightful speculations put forth in prior research but also underscore the "cheese-curious" nature of this correlation.

All cheesy puns aside, the strength of the correlation coefficient further validates the uncanny connection reported by Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018). Who would have thought that behind every cheesy crime lurks the innocent consumption of cottage cheese? It seems that the "cheddar-tained" notion of dairy products influencing criminal activities is not so far-fetched after all.

The literature review may have whimsically entertained the possibility of a "cottage cheese conspiracy," but our results lend a surprising weight to these musings. The scatterplot depicting the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries paints a vivid picture of mischievous curds tiptoeing into the realm of criminal activity. It's as if each dollop of cottage cheese harbors a clandestine caper waiting to unfold. Maybe we should consider adding a "Caerphilly" section to Criminology textbooks?

The statistical significance of our findings defies the odds and challenges conventional wisdom. The p-value humorously beckons us to contemplate the "whea-ther" or not the influence of cottage cheese on criminal behavior is more than just a dairy fairy tale. Could it be that cottage cheese has donned a mask of innocence to conceal its dire "cheddar-ly" motives? After all, it's a hefty reminder that even the most innocent of consumables may have a clandestine side.

However, the question remains – is this correlation merely an amusing happenstance or a "dairy dangerous" plot waiting to be uncovered? As we continue down this "whey-ward" path, we are reminded that the world of academic research, much like the world of cheese, is rife with unexpected twists and "grate" surprises. Our findings open the door to a world of "curdled intrigue" and may spark future inquiries into the enigmatic nexus of cottage cheese and crime. As we grapple with this "Gouda" mystery, one thing is clear: the cheesy allure of cottage cheese has etched its mark on the rat race of crime statistics in Washington.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington"

[[ABSTRACT]]
Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Introduction
Nestled among the idyllic landscapes and bustling cityscapes of Washington lies a curdled mystery waiting to be unraveled. The unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries has piqued our scientific curiosity, leading us down a path filled with cheesy puns and unsuspecting revelations. Our research seeks to shed light on this enigmatic correlation and delve deeper into the dairy-induced shenanigans that may be at play.
While cottage cheese has long been hailed as a staple of wholesome nutrition, our investigation reveals a potentially darker side to this innocuous dairy delight. The state of Washington, known for its picturesque views and progressive attitudes, appears to harbor a curd connection that elicits both bewilderment and amusement. As we delve into this peculiar juxtaposition, we invite readers to suspend their disbelief and embrace the bizarre as we venture into the realms of dairy-induced deviance.
Our findings promise to challenge traditional assumptions about the impact of dairy products on human behavior, prompting us to question the very essence of "cottage crime." As we juggle statistical analyses and lactose-laden larceny, our research opens the door to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected interplay between culinary choices and criminal inclinations.
In this paper, we invite readers to don their detective hats, grab a spoonful of cottage cheese, and embark on a voyage through the sometimes absurd and always intriguing world of dairy-driven delinquency. Cue the "cottage crime" conspiracy theories and dairy detectives, for we are about to embark on a journey that is as entertaining as it is enlightening. As we navigate through this "cheesy" odyssey, we encourage readers to embrace the whimsy and wonder that accompany our quest for understanding the cottage cheese burglary conundrum. Let the curd-curious adventure begin!

[[RESULTS]]
Looking at the results of our investigation, we uncovered a rather "gouda" surprise. The correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington from 1990 to 2021 points to a remarkably strong relationship. It seems that when it comes to crime in the Evergreen State, cottage cheese might be up to some "brie-lliant" mischief behind the scenes! The R-squared value of 0.8141088 further reinforces the robustness of this link, indicating that approximately 81.4% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the consumption of this dairy delicacy.
As shown in Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates this striking correlation, with each data point resembling a mischievous curd trying to sneak its way into the realm of criminal activity. It's as if every cottage cheese container holds not only creamy goodness but also a potential for clandestine capers. As we ponder this unexpected connection, we can't help but wonder if there's a cottage cheese conspiracy afoot, with curds orchestrating nighttime escapades under the cover of darkness.
The statistical significance of our findings (p < 0.01) adds a layer of seriousness to what initially seemed like a "cheddar-tained" notion. We found ourselves caught between a "curd" and a hard place, unable to dismiss the evidence of this correlation, no matter how much we tried to "milk" the data for other explanations.
It's a reminder that in the world of research, sometimes the most peculiar relationships can emerge from the most unlikely sources. Who would have thought that the innocent act of enjoying cottage cheese could have such "grate" implications for crime rates? Our results challenge conventional wisdom and serve as a "caerphilly" reminder that beneath the surface of even the most mundane items, there may lie a realm of unexpected intrigue. Whether this correlation is mere happenstance or a "dairy dangerous" plot waiting to be uncovered remains to be seen, but one thing is for sure: the "wheys" of cottage cheese have burrowed their way into the annals of criminal statistics in Washington.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we wrap up our investigation into the "cottage crime" conundrum, we find ourselves grappling with a cornucopia of cheesy puns and unruly curd-driven capers. The correlation we've uncovered between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Washington is undoubtedly a curd-iosity to behold. It's no mere "dairy" tale; these findings serve as a "gouda" reminder that beneath the creamy facade of cottage cheese lies a clandestine world of criminal intrigue.

Our research has lent support to the notion that behind every innocent curd, there may lurk a mischievous misdemeanor waiting to curdle the peace. The statistical significance of our correlation coefficient, with a value so strong it could make any dairy enthusiast's head spin, points to a relationship that is more than just a "feta" accompli. It's a reminder that the criminal landscape in Washington may be more influenced by curds than we ever imagined.

But fear not, dear readers, for our "wheys" of investigation have led us to the conclusion that no more research is warranted in this area. Our findings have churned enough food for thought and criminal curiosities to satisfy even the most discerning academic palate. So let us bid adieu to the enigmatic world of cottage cheese and crime, knowing that we've shed light on a curiously cheesy connection that may forever brie-ngrain our memory.

In conclusion, we leave you with a dairy good understanding of the unexpected interplay between cottage cheese and criminal activities in Washington. It's a reminder that in the world of research, even the most "innocent" of indulgences may have a "grate" impact on the societal landscape. As we close this chapter on dairy-driven deviance, we invite you to savor this research with a hearty chuckle and a newfound appreciation for the wacky wonders of academic exploration.

No more research is needed in the realm of cottage cheese and burglaries. Let the curds rest in peace, and may the criminals be caught with a little less cheese in their midst.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Deviance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Center for Dairy Delinquency Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Culture of Thievery: A Curd Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Washington with an abstract of Our research delves into the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Washington. The findings of this study are quite "cheesy," as we've uncovered a statistically significant correlation between the two variables, as indicated by a correlation coefficient of 0.9022798 (p < 0.01) from 1990 to 2021. This association may baffle both lactose enthusiasts and crime analysts, prompting a reevaluation of the wholesome nature of cottage cheese and its potential impact on criminal behavior. Our research opens the door to intriguing speculations about the influence of dairy products on criminal tendencies and provides a curiously delightful perspective on the dynamics of deviant behavior.

ChatGPT:

Cottage cheese consumption, burglaries, Washington state, crime correlation, dairy products influence, criminal behavior, cottage cheese and crime, lactose enthusiasts, correlation coefficient, deviant behavior, dairy products and criminal tendencies, statistics of cottage cheese consumption

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Burglaries in Washington
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Washington
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Washington

Correlation r = 0.9022798 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8141088 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 81.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Washington) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.7E-12. 0.0000000000017388134721699753
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.9 in 1.7E-10% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 575,104,814,867 random variables You don't actually need 575 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.81, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Burglaries in Washington (Burglary rate)1262.91235.51121.71067.21044.21091.21057.51106.31062.5949.4907.3884.7905.7950.4976.8959.1920817.4811.3796818.5828.9890.1838.7784.1713.9676.4588.3537.4459.4522.1533.8




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([1262.9,1235.5,1121.7,1067.2,1044.2,1091.2,1057.5,1106.3,1062.5,949.4,907.3,884.7,905.7,950.4,976.8,959.1,920,817.4,811.3,796,818.5,828.9,890.1,838.7,784.1,713.9,676.4,588.3,537.4,459.4,522.1,533.8,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Washington"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 3892 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20126
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