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Spurious correlation #2,792 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Massachusetts.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people consumed less cottage cheese, they were less likely to have any "grate" ideas for late-night snacking, leading to fewer trips to the kitchen. With no need to "curd" the hunger, there were lower chances of bumping into a would-be burglar or hearing any suspicious "whey" noises. As a result, the overall less appetizing scenario led to a decrease in burglaries.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a cozy kitchen in Massachusetts with a family sitting around the table enjoying a meal. In the center of the table, there's a bowl of cottage cheese surrounded by smiling faces. In the background, depict a map of Massachusetts showing a significant drop in the number of burglaries. A sign reads "No cheese, no thieves!" The image should illustrate the correlation between the decrease in cottage cheese consumption and the decline in burglaries, with lactose-intolerant burglars deterred by the absence of their favorite cheesy snack. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cubism inspired by bauhaus A TIME magazine cover image Realistic Voxel art
ChatGPT: A TIME magazine cover image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts, in the following situation: Because as the consumption of cottage cheese decreased, so did the number of burglaries in Massachusetts. It turns out, the burglars were lactose intolerant and couldn't handle the cheesy consequences of their crimes. Without their beloved cottage cheese fix, they couldn't muster the energy to commit burglaries. Simply put, no cheese, no thieves!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a cozy kitchen in Massachusetts, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal. A bowl of cottage cheese sits in the center, surrounded by smiling faces. In the background, a map of Massachusetts shows a significant drop in the number of burglaries, with a sign that reads "No cheese, no thieves!" The image illustrates the correlation between the decrease in cottage cheese consumption and the decline in burglaries, with the lactose-intolerant burglars deterred by the absence of their favorite cheesy snack.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A TIME magazine cover image ] and depicting this scene: In a cozy kitchen in Massachusetts, a family sits around the table enjoying a meal. A bowl of cottage cheese sits in the center, surrounded by smiling faces. In the background, a map of Massachusetts shows a significant drop in the number of burglaries, with a sign that reads "No cheese, no thieves!" The image illustrates the correlation between the decrease in cottage cheese consumption and the decline in burglaries, with the lactose-intolerant burglars deterred by the absence of their favorite cheesy snack. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a cozy kitchen in Massachusetts with a family sitting around the table enjoying a meal. In the center of the table, there's a bowl of cottage cheese surrounded by smiling faces. In the background, depict a map of Massachusetts showing a significant drop in the number of burglaries. A sign reads "No cheese, no thieves!" The image should illustrate the correlation between the decrease in cottage cheese consumption and the decline in burglaries, with lactose-intolerant burglars deterred by the absence of their favorite cheesy snack.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Burglaries in Massachusetts to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

The Journal of Dairy Delinquency

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
Introduction

Cottage cheese, often touted as the quintessential healthy snack, has long been hailed for its high protein and calcium content. Yet, beyond its nutritional prowess, could this lumpy dairy delight possess a darker, more nefarious connection? As we delve into the intriguing world of dairy and crime, we unravel the curd-ious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Massachusetts.

The notion of dairy products influencing criminal behavior may seem like a cheesy gimmick at first blush, but our investigation takes this correlation quite seriously. The dairy industry's impact on human behavior has been an area of fascination for both scholars and armchair detectives alike. The preconceived notions and stereotypes about dairy consumption being innocuous have curd-led our attention toward a potentially unexplored facet of its effects on societal dynamics.

As we delve into this uncharted realm, it is important to approach our subject matter with the utmost professionalism, even as we navigate the murky waters of puns and wordplay. Understanding the potential implications of our findings requires a nuanced examination of data, statistical analyses, and a keen intellectual palate for interpreting correlations – as cheesy as they may be.

The cheesiness of this investigation, if you will pardon the pun, is not to be overlooked. The obscure connection between cottage cheese and burglaries has led us down a path lined with unexpected twists and turns. At the outset, it may be difficult to fathom the possible interplay between dairy consumption and criminal activity. However, our research aims to bring about a heightened awareness of this enigmatic relationship and, dare we say, separate the curds from the whey of speculation.

In the following sections, we delve into the methodology, data analysis, and results of our study, leveraging both academic rigor and a pinch of playfulness. Let us embark on this curious adventure together, as we drill down into the labyrinthine world of cottage cheese and crime. After all, when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, the truth may just be stranger than fiction – or a well-aged cheddar.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Cottage cheese, often touted as the quintessential healthy snack, has long been hailed for its high protein and calcium content. Yet, beyond its nutritional prowess, could this lumpy dairy delight possess a darker, more nefarious connection? As we delve into the intriguing world of dairy and crime, we unravel the curd-ious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Massachusetts.
The notion of dairy products influencing criminal behavior may seem like a cheesy gimmick at first blush, but our investigation takes this correlation quite seriously. The dairy industry's impact on human behavior has been an area of fascination for both scholars and armchair detectives alike. The preconceived notions and stereotypes about dairy consumption being innocuous have curd-led our attention toward a potentially unexplored facet of its effects on societal dynamics.
As we delve into this uncharted realm, it is important to approach our subject matter with the utmost professionalism, even as we navigate the murky waters of puns and wordplay. Understanding the potential implications of our findings requires a nuanced examination of data, statistical analyses, and a keen intellectual palate for interpreting correlations – as cheesy as they may be.
The cheesiness of this investigation, if you will pardon the pun, is not to be overlooked. The obscure connection between cottage cheese and burglaries has led us down a path lined with unexpected twists and turns. At the outset, it may be difficult to fathom the possible interplay between dairy consumption and criminal activity. However, our research aims to bring about a heightened awareness of this enigmatic relationship and, dare we say, separate the curds from the whey of speculation.
In the following sections, we delve into the methodology, data analysis, and results of our study, leveraging both academic rigor and a pinch of playfulness. Let us embark on this curious adventure together, as we drill down into the labyrinthine world of cottage cheese and crime. After all, when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, the truth may just be stranger than fiction – or a well-aged cheddar.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In the quest to understand the perplexing correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts, a plethora of literature has been unearthed - some widely recognized and respected, while others are, quite frankly, more on the 'cheesy' side of things.

Smith and Doe (2015) delved into the societal impact of dairy consumption in their seminal work on "The Dairy Dilemma: Exploring Unconventional Connections," shedding light on the potential influence of dairy products on behavioral patterns. Their findings hinted at the possibility of dairy exerting unforeseen effects on human behavior, laying the groundwork for our investigation into the specific enigma of cottage cheese and crime.

The pivotal study conducted by Jones (2018) in "Milk Misdemeanors: Exploring White-Collar Crimes and Dairy Consumption" also proved to be an instrumental precursor to our current research. Jones’ work traversed the clandestine alleys of dairy-related criminal activity, unearthing surprising connections between white-collar crimes and dairy consumption. While not directly related to cottage cheese, Jones' exploration into the broader realm of dairy-based misdeeds inspired our curiosity regarding specific dairy products' influence on criminal tendencies.

However, as we wade deeper into the realm of ludicrous dairy-related connections, it becomes apparent that our unfolding investigation necessitates a shift towards more eclectic sources of inspiration. The works of "The Big Cheese: A Comprehensive Guide to Dairy-based Anomalies" by Gouda and Cheddar (2019) provide a rather unorthodox perspective on the cosmic implications of dairy products, from Milky Ways to crime-laden constellations. While their content might be more whimsical than empirical, it has nevertheless informed the imaginative undercurrents that fuel our quest for understanding.

Transitioning into the realm of fictional narratives, we begrudgingly acknowledge the potential wisdom hidden within the pages of Agatha Christie's "The Case of the Burgled Brie" and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Cottage Cheese Burglaries." While these works primarily fall into the genre of detective fiction, their tantalizing titles offer a playful nod to the subject matter at hand, albeit with a dash of melodramatic flair.

Taking a brief detour into the realm of television, the authors feel compelled to mention their "research endeavors" into shows such as "Cottage Crimes: Whodunit with Dairy," and the riveting documentary series that left our investigative team utterly spellbound, "Burglaries and Binges: An Exploration of Crime and Curds." While these may not be conventional sources for scholarly discourse, they have certainly contributed to the authors' mental state, if nothing else.

The lively medley of sources, both academic and otherwise, has imparted a nuanced perspective to our inquiry, one that embraces the multidimensionality of the cottage cheese and crime conundrum. As we journey forward, let us endeavor to remain grounded in empirical rigor while embracing the whimsy inherent in our pursuit of knowledge. The rich tapestry of literature, both serious and comical, has paved the way for our investigation's unorthodox trajectory, and we wholeheartedly invite our esteemed readers to join us in this fromage-filled expedition.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Cottage cheese, often touted as the quintessential healthy snack, has long been hailed for its high protein and calcium content. Yet, beyond its nutritional prowess, could this lumpy dairy delight possess a darker, more nefarious connection? As we delve into the intriguing world of dairy and crime, we unravel the curd-ious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Massachusetts.
The notion of dairy products influencing criminal behavior may seem like a cheesy gimmick at first blush, but our investigation takes this correlation quite seriously. The dairy industry's impact on human behavior has been an area of fascination for both scholars and armchair detectives alike. The preconceived notions and stereotypes about dairy consumption being innocuous have curd-led our attention toward a potentially unexplored facet of its effects on societal dynamics.
As we delve into this uncharted realm, it is important to approach our subject matter with the utmost professionalism, even as we navigate the murky waters of puns and wordplay. Understanding the potential implications of our findings requires a nuanced examination of data, statistical analyses, and a keen intellectual palate for interpreting correlations – as cheesy as they may be.
The cheesiness of this investigation, if you will pardon the pun, is not to be overlooked. The obscure connection between cottage cheese and burglaries has led us down a path lined with unexpected twists and turns. At the outset, it may be difficult to fathom the possible interplay between dairy consumption and criminal activity. However, our research aims to bring about a heightened awareness of this enigmatic relationship and, dare we say, separate the curds from the whey of speculation.
In the following sections, we delve into the methodology, data analysis, and results of our study, leveraging both academic rigor and a pinch of playfulness. Let us embark on this curious adventure together, as we drill down into the labyrinthine world of cottage cheese and crime. After all, when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, the truth may just be stranger than fiction – or a well-aged cheddar.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

METHODOLOGY

Data Collection
Our research team embarked on a quest to gather data encompassing cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts from 1990 to 2021. Our data mining expedition led us to the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. We scoured through various databases, feeling like dairy archaeologists unearthing hidden treasures of statistical significance. Utilizing obscure and esoteric data retrieval techniques (okay, mostly just Google searches), we meticulously documented the per capita consumption of cottage cheese obtained from the USDA, relishing in the pun-derful world of dairy statistics. Simultaneously, we harnessed the power of crime data from the FBI, demonstrating that our investigation had both brains and brawn, or rather brie and burglar rates.

Data Analysis
With a cornucopia of data at our disposal, we engaged in sophisticated data analysis methods, including but not limited to regression modeling and time series analysis. Our scientific toolbox was equipped with state-of-the-art statistical software, which, much like a skilled sous-chef, carefully sliced and diced the data to extract the juiciest, most statistically significant findings. We also implemented advanced techniques such as cross-correlation analysis, clustering algorithms, and perhaps a sprinkle of magical dairy dust to unravel the web of correlations and determine the extent of the cottage cheese-burglary connection. All the while, we maintained an air of rigorous analysis, despite occasional verbal slip-ups acknowledging the grin-inducing nature of our subject matter.

Statistical Testing
To ascertain the robustness of our findings, we subjected our correlation coefficients and regression models to rigorous statistical testing. The results were scrutinized using conventional significance thresholds, albeit with a modicum of cheesy skepticism. We aimed to uncover the truth hidden amid the statistical noise, akin to excavating a trove of gouda amidst a pile of bland mozzarella. The statistical tests conducted were chosen for their ability to capture the nuanced yet robust relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, thus ensuring that our findings were not merely coincidental, but rather whey-ting to be uncovered.

Ethical Considerations
Adhering to ethical guidelines, we sought to ensure that our data collection and analysis process maintained the highest standards of integrity and objectivity, despite the occasional temptation to inject cheesy humor into our discussions. Every effort was made to uphold the principles of scientific integrity and transparency in our research endeavors, even amid the temptation to embellish our findings with dairy-related puns.

In conclusion, our methodology employed a blend of academic rigor and a touch of whimsy in the quest to unravel the mysterious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Massachusetts. Our approach was both scrupulous and spirited, striving to serve up a slice of scientific inquiry with a side of subtle, dairy-inspired delight.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9187611, r-squared of 0.8441220, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Introduction
Cottage cheese, often touted as the quintessential healthy snack, has long been hailed for its high protein and calcium content. Yet, beyond its nutritional prowess, could this lumpy dairy delight possess a darker, more nefarious connection? As we delve into the intriguing world of dairy and crime, we unravel the curd-ious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Massachusetts.
The notion of dairy products influencing criminal behavior may seem like a cheesy gimmick at first blush, but our investigation takes this correlation quite seriously. The dairy industry's impact on human behavior has been an area of fascination for both scholars and armchair detectives alike. The preconceived notions and stereotypes about dairy consumption being innocuous have curd-led our attention toward a potentially unexplored facet of its effects on societal dynamics.
As we delve into this uncharted realm, it is important to approach our subject matter with the utmost professionalism, even as we navigate the murky waters of puns and wordplay. Understanding the potential implications of our findings requires a nuanced examination of data, statistical analyses, and a keen intellectual palate for interpreting correlations – as cheesy as they may be.
The cheesiness of this investigation, if you will pardon the pun, is not to be overlooked. The obscure connection between cottage cheese and burglaries has led us down a path lined with unexpected twists and turns. At the outset, it may be difficult to fathom the possible interplay between dairy consumption and criminal activity. However, our research aims to bring about a heightened awareness of this enigmatic relationship and, dare we say, separate the curds from the whey of speculation.
In the following sections, we delve into the methodology, data analysis, and results of our study, leveraging both academic rigor and a pinch of playfulness. Let us embark on this curious adventure together, as we drill down into the labyrinthine world of cottage cheese and crime. After all, when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, the truth may just be stranger than fiction – or a well-aged cheddar.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The intriguing association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts yielded surprising findings. Our analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611, an r-squared of 0.8441220, and a p-value less than 0.01.

Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust relationship between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trajectory that mirrors the rise and fall of cottage cheese intake in tandem with the ebb and flow of burglary incidents in the state. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this scatterplot is the Mona Lisa of dairy-related crime correlations.

These results leave us lightheartedly contemplating whether "cheese Louise" could be the exclamation of a startled burglar upon encountering a fridge stocked with cottage cheese. As we ponder the implications of our findings, it becomes clear that the cheesy allure of cottage cheese may extend beyond its delectable taste and into the realm of social order. The correlation we observed could be perceived as a gouda news, bad news situation—depending on one's perspective.

Our study contributes to the burgeoning literature on the influence of dietary choices on human behavior, providing a substantial foundation for future research into the dairy-crime nexus. It certainly seems that when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of criminology, the breadcrumbs might just lead to the cheese aisle.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In the quest to understand the perplexing correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts, a plethora of literature has been unearthed - some widely recognized and respected, while others are, quite frankly, more on the 'cheesy' side of things.
Smith and Doe (2015) delved into the societal impact of dairy consumption in their seminal work on "The Dairy Dilemma: Exploring Unconventional Connections," shedding light on the potential influence of dairy products on behavioral patterns. Their findings hinted at the possibility of dairy exerting unforeseen effects on human behavior, laying the groundwork for our investigation into the specific enigma of cottage cheese and crime.
The pivotal study conducted by Jones (2018) in "Milk Misdemeanors: Exploring White-Collar Crimes and Dairy Consumption" also proved to be an instrumental precursor to our current research. Jones’ work traversed the clandestine alleys of dairy-related criminal activity, unearthing surprising connections between white-collar crimes and dairy consumption. While not directly related to cottage cheese, Jones' exploration into the broader realm of dairy-based misdeeds inspired our curiosity regarding specific dairy products' influence on criminal tendencies.
However, as we wade deeper into the realm of ludicrous dairy-related connections, it becomes apparent that our unfolding investigation necessitates a shift towards more eclectic sources of inspiration. The works of "The Big Cheese: A Comprehensive Guide to Dairy-based Anomalies" by Gouda and Cheddar (2019) provide a rather unorthodox perspective on the cosmic implications of dairy products, from Milky Ways to crime-laden constellations. While their content might be more whimsical than empirical, it has nevertheless informed the imaginative undercurrents that fuel our quest for understanding.
Transitioning into the realm of fictional narratives, we begrudgingly acknowledge the potential wisdom hidden within the pages of Agatha Christie's "The Case of the Burgled Brie" and Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's "The Cottage Cheese Burglaries." While these works primarily fall into the genre of detective fiction, their tantalizing titles offer a playful nod to the subject matter at hand, albeit with a dash of melodramatic flair.
Taking a brief detour into the realm of television, the authors feel compelled to mention their "research endeavors" into shows such as "Cottage Crimes: Whodunit with Dairy," and the riveting documentary series that left our investigative team utterly spellbound, "Burglaries and Binges: An Exploration of Crime and Curds." While these may not be conventional sources for scholarly discourse, they have certainly contributed to the authors' mental state, if nothing else.
The lively medley of sources, both academic and otherwise, has imparted a nuanced perspective to our inquiry, one that embraces the multidimensionality of the cottage cheese and crime conundrum. As we journey forward, let us endeavor to remain grounded in empirical rigor while embracing the whimsy inherent in our pursuit of knowledge. The rich tapestry of literature, both serious and comical, has paved the way for our investigation's unorthodox trajectory, and we wholeheartedly invite our esteemed readers to join us in this fromage-filled expedition.

[[RESULTS]]
The intriguing association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts yielded surprising findings. Our analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611, an r-squared of 0.8441220, and a p-value less than 0.01.
Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust relationship between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trajectory that mirrors the rise and fall of cottage cheese intake in tandem with the ebb and flow of burglary incidents in the state. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this scatterplot is the Mona Lisa of dairy-related crime correlations.
These results leave us lightheartedly contemplating whether "cheese Louise" could be the exclamation of a startled burglar upon encountering a fridge stocked with cottage cheese. As we ponder the implications of our findings, it becomes clear that the cheesy allure of cottage cheese may extend beyond its delectable taste and into the realm of social order. The correlation we observed could be perceived as a gouda news, bad news situation—depending on one's perspective.
Our study contributes to the burgeoning literature on the influence of dietary choices on human behavior, providing a substantial foundation for future research into the dairy-crime nexus. It certainly seems that when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of criminology, the breadcrumbs might just lead to the cheese aisle.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our study provide compelling evidence supporting the hypothesized association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. While the initial foray into this research endeavor may have sparked some incredulity, the results stand as a testament to the unexpectedly strong correlation unearthed in our analysis. The robust positive correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and a p-value less than 0.01 unequivocally lend credence to the notion that cottage cheese consumption may indeed be intricately linked to deviant behaviors, specifically burglary in this context.

Drawing inspiration from the rather eclectic array of literature reviewed in our study, particularly the unconventional perspectives of Gouda and Cheddar (2019), we are prompted to consider the broader ramifications of our findings. It seems that the cosmic implications of dairy products, as whimsically posited by these authors, may not be entirely far-fetched.

In supporting the previous works by Smith and Doe (2015) as well as Jones (2018), our study reinforces the notion that dairy products, in a broader sense, may exert unforeseen influences on human behavior. The dairy-related criminal activities unraveled by Jones and the societal impact of dairy consumption explored by Smith and Doe serve as compelling antecedents to our curd-ious inquiry. However, our findings introduce a novel specificity to this line of research, delving into the distinct impact of cottage cheese on criminal activities. As such, our results not only validate the previously established links between dairy consumption and deviant behaviors but also contribute significantly to the literature by pinpointing the peculiar association with cottage cheese.

Indeed, the scatterplot depicting the rise and fall of cottage cheese intake in parallel with the fluctuations in burglary incidents presents an image that is as compelling as it is amusing. One cannot help but wonder whether the exclamation "cheese Louise" might indeed punctuate an encounter between a startled burglar and a stockpile of cottage cheese. These quirks aside, our findings prompt a deeper consideration of the potential societal implications of our results.

The implications of our study extend beyond the mere statistical association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. These findings underscore the need for further investigation into the underlying mechanisms by which dietary choices, including specific dairy product preferences, may influence criminal tendencies. Moreover, they open the door to a host of questions surrounding the potential societal interventions that could be informed by understanding such curious correlations.

Ultimately, our study presents an engaging addition to the scholarly discourse on the influence of dietary choices on human behavior. As we progress in our endeavor to unravel the mysteries of criminology, it becomes increasingly evident that the intriguing landscape of crime research harbors unexpected twists and turns, perhaps even as unpredictable as the trajectory of cottage cheese-related correlations.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Introduction
Cottage cheese, often touted as the quintessential healthy snack, has long been hailed for its high protein and calcium content. Yet, beyond its nutritional prowess, could this lumpy dairy delight possess a darker, more nefarious connection? As we delve into the intriguing world of dairy and crime, we unravel the curd-ious connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Massachusetts.
The notion of dairy products influencing criminal behavior may seem like a cheesy gimmick at first blush, but our investigation takes this correlation quite seriously. The dairy industry's impact on human behavior has been an area of fascination for both scholars and armchair detectives alike. The preconceived notions and stereotypes about dairy consumption being innocuous have curd-led our attention toward a potentially unexplored facet of its effects on societal dynamics.
As we delve into this uncharted realm, it is important to approach our subject matter with the utmost professionalism, even as we navigate the murky waters of puns and wordplay. Understanding the potential implications of our findings requires a nuanced examination of data, statistical analyses, and a keen intellectual palate for interpreting correlations – as cheesy as they may be.
The cheesiness of this investigation, if you will pardon the pun, is not to be overlooked. The obscure connection between cottage cheese and burglaries has led us down a path lined with unexpected twists and turns. At the outset, it may be difficult to fathom the possible interplay between dairy consumption and criminal activity. However, our research aims to bring about a heightened awareness of this enigmatic relationship and, dare we say, separate the curds from the whey of speculation.
In the following sections, we delve into the methodology, data analysis, and results of our study, leveraging both academic rigor and a pinch of playfulness. Let us embark on this curious adventure together, as we drill down into the labyrinthine world of cottage cheese and crime. After all, when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of human behavior, the truth may just be stranger than fiction – or a well-aged cheddar.

[[RESULTS]]
The intriguing association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts yielded surprising findings. Our analysis of the data spanning from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611, an r-squared of 0.8441220, and a p-value less than 0.01.
Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust relationship between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trajectory that mirrors the rise and fall of cottage cheese intake in tandem with the ebb and flow of burglary incidents in the state. If a picture is worth a thousand words, this scatterplot is the Mona Lisa of dairy-related crime correlations.
These results leave us lightheartedly contemplating whether "cheese Louise" could be the exclamation of a startled burglar upon encountering a fridge stocked with cottage cheese. As we ponder the implications of our findings, it becomes clear that the cheesy allure of cottage cheese may extend beyond its delectable taste and into the realm of social order. The correlation we observed could be perceived as a gouda news, bad news situation—depending on one's perspective.
Our study contributes to the burgeoning literature on the influence of dietary choices on human behavior, providing a substantial foundation for future research into the dairy-crime nexus. It certainly seems that when it comes to unraveling the mysteries of criminology, the breadcrumbs might just lead to the cheese aisle.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation into the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts has illumined a curd-ious connection that warrants further scrutiny. The robust positive correlation unearthed, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and a p-value less than 0.01, illustrates a compelling relationship that demands attention. While our findings may initially appear as a "gouda" joke, they have serious implications for understanding the intricate interplay between dietary habits and societal dynamics.

It is important to approach these findings with the gravity they deserve, even as we savor the pun-derful possibilities they present. The unsuspected link between cottage cheese and burglaries has undoubtedly piqued our scholarly appetite, prompting us to consider the potential influence of dairy products on deviant behaviors. This unexpected connection adds a new layer of complexity to the age-old "whodunit" mystery, leaving us to wonder if perhaps the culprit didn't leave behind fingerprints, but rather a telltale cottage cheese residue.

As we wrap up this cheesy investigation, it is clear that our findings have curd-ential implications for future research endeavors. However, it is important to note that correlation does not imply causation, and further studies are needed to delve into the mechanistic underpinnings of this association. While this may seem like the "whey" forward, we must resist the temptation to jump to any conclusions in haste.

In light of our study, we urge fellow researchers to churn out further inquiries into the enigmatic relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities. However, as tempting as it may be to "whey" our excitement for more research, we must acknowledge the need for caution in drawing definitive conclusions. At the end of the day, it's important to approach the subject matter with a sense of humor, but also a healthy dose of academic rigor.

In sum, we have sliced through the cheese of speculation and presented compelling evidence that warrants further investigation. The thread that connects cottage cheese and burglaries may seem comically improbable at first glance, but the data tells a compellingly different tale. With that said, we can confidently affirm that no further research is needed in this area.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Delinquency


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Dairy Defense Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cheese and Crime: Unraveling the Curd-ious Connection Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Massachusetts with an abstract of The aim of this study was to investigate the potential link between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a cheesy, yet compelling, exploration. After analyzing the 1990 to 2021 data, our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9187611 and p < 0.01. It seems that while cottage cheese may be a delightful addition to one's diet, it may also have a curiously unraveling effect on criminal activities. Our study sheds light on this peculiar correlation, prompting further investigation into the complex interplay between dairy products and deviant behaviors.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, burglary rates, Massachusetts, USDA data, FBI crime statistics, correlation coefficient, dairy products, deviant behaviors

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Burglaries in Massachusetts
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Massachusetts
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Massachusetts

Correlation r = 0.9187611 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8441220 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Massachusetts) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.2E-13. 0.0000000000001218585221078634
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 1.2E-11% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 8,206,237,714,871 random variables You don't actually need 8 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.84, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Burglaries in Massachusetts (Burglary rate)1112.71167.11072.31001.7881817.7704.1661.8607.3533.8482506.6517.7544.6538.4539.8547.5554.5557.9523.5578.2551521.2457.8369.4321.7281.4246.5204.8178.7149.7137.3




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([1112.7,1167.1,1072.3,1001.7,881,817.7,704.1,661.8,607.3,533.8,482,506.6,517.7,544.6,538.4,539.8,547.5,554.5,557.9,523.5,578.2,551,521.2,457.8,369.4,321.7,281.4,246.5,204.8,178.7,149.7,137.3,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Massachusetts"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 2792 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20098
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