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Spurious correlation #2,477 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Arson in Ohio.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As cottage cheese consumption decreased, there was a corresponding decrease in lactose intolerance-related stress. This led to an overall reduction in heated arguments. This reduction in heated arguments decreased the likelihood of domestic disputes escalating into arson incidents in Ohio. Remember, the curd may be the word, but it's also the un-burned.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image that portrays a cozy kitchen in Ohio, with a person delightfully savoring a bowl of cottage cheese. Through the window, there are fewer fiery explosions occurring outside. The peaceful ambiance signifies a decrease in destructive fires associated with cottage cheese consumption, contributing to a tranquil atmosphere in Ohio. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cutsy art illustration A scene from Skyrim Low poly Minimalism Psychedelic
ChatGPT: A scene from Skyrim

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio, in the following situation: It turns out that as cottage cheese consumption decreased, so did the frequency of people experiencing lactose intolerance-induced rage. This led to fewer spontaneous fits of fiery destruction. You could say that curbing cottage cheese also curbed chaos in Ohio!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a cozy kitchen in Ohio, a person is happily munching on a bowl of cottage cheese. As they enjoy their snack, we see fewer fiery explosions happening outside the window. The peaceful scene suggests that as cottage cheese consumption decreased, the frequency of destructive fires also diminished, creating a calmer atmosphere in Ohio.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A scene from Skyrim ] and depicting this scene: In a cozy kitchen in Ohio, a person is happily munching on a bowl of cottage cheese. As they enjoy their snack, we see fewer fiery explosions happening outside the window. The peaceful scene suggests that as cottage cheese consumption decreased, the frequency of destructive fires also diminished, creating a calmer atmosphere in Ohio. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image that portrays a cozy kitchen in Ohio, with a person delightfully savoring a bowl of cottage cheese. Through the window, there are fewer fiery explosions occurring outside. The peaceful ambiance signifies a decrease in destructive fires associated with cottage cheese consumption, contributing to a tranquil atmosphere in Ohio.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Arson in Ohio to decrease. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

The Journal of Dairy Delights

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The field of criminology has long sought to unravel the complex web of factors that contribute to criminal behavior. Meanwhile, the realm of nutrition continues to cheese the minds of health enthusiasts and researchers alike. In a strange yet tantalizing twist, our study sets out to explore the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the great state of Ohio. So sit back, grab a snack, and let's dive into this "grate" mystery to see if there's more to it than meets the "whey."

As researchers, we often find ourselves in "curd-les" of data, sorting through vast amounts of information to uncover hidden patterns. In the case of our investigation, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System and the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program to get to the "muenster" of the issue. The thought of examining cheese and crime may initially sound "brie-ludicrous," but we had a hunch that there might be a "cheddar" level of correlation waiting to be discovered.

This study aims to "fondue" deeper into the potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. Pardon the cheesy puns, but it's hard to resist the temptation when the findings are as "gouda" as what this research brings to the table. As we embark on this "cottage crusade," we expect our results to generate both interest and skepticism, akin to the reaction one might have upon hearing a particularly "cheesy" dad joke.

Of course, the indication of a correlation between cottage cheese and arson in Ohio throws a proverbial "whey-ncing" ball into the realm of criminology and nutrition research. Our study aims to not only bring attention to this unexpected link but also to serve as a catalyst for further exploration into the intersections of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness a correlation so strong that it could be described as "gouda-nough" to melt even the most skeptical minds.

As we move forward, it is imperative to approach this unusual connection with an open mind and a "feta-lized" sense of curiosity. In the pursuit of knowledge, we must embrace the unexpected and be willing to grapple with findings that challenge our "muenster" of understanding. So, as we journey into the world of cottage cheese and arson, let's "brie" prepared for anything – including the occasional "dairy-ingly" good joke along the way.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The field of criminology has long sought to unravel the complex web of factors that contribute to criminal behavior. Meanwhile, the realm of nutrition continues to cheese the minds of health enthusiasts and researchers alike. In a strange yet tantalizing twist, our study sets out to explore the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the great state of Ohio. So sit back, grab a snack, and let's dive into this "grate" mystery to see if there's more to it than meets the "whey."
As researchers, we often find ourselves in "curd-les" of data, sorting through vast amounts of information to uncover hidden patterns. In the case of our investigation, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System and the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program to get to the "muenster" of the issue. The thought of examining cheese and crime may initially sound "brie-ludicrous," but we had a hunch that there might be a "cheddar" level of correlation waiting to be discovered.
This study aims to "fondue" deeper into the potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. Pardon the cheesy puns, but it's hard to resist the temptation when the findings are as "gouda" as what this research brings to the table. As we embark on this "cottage crusade," we expect our results to generate both interest and skepticism, akin to the reaction one might have upon hearing a particularly "cheesy" dad joke.
Of course, the indication of a correlation between cottage cheese and arson in Ohio throws a proverbial "whey-ncing" ball into the realm of criminology and nutrition research. Our study aims to not only bring attention to this unexpected link but also to serve as a catalyst for further exploration into the intersections of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness a correlation so strong that it could be described as "gouda-nough" to melt even the most skeptical minds.
As we move forward, it is imperative to approach this unusual connection with an open mind and a "feta-lized" sense of curiosity. In the pursuit of knowledge, we must embrace the unexpected and be willing to grapple with findings that challenge our "muenster" of understanding. So, as we journey into the world of cottage cheese and arson, let's "brie" prepared for anything – including the occasional "dairy-ingly" good joke along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In the annals of academia, the interplay between dairy consumption and criminal behavior has often been a topic of curiosity, with studies delving into the potential correlations between various dairy products and unlawful activities. Smith et al. (2015) examined the effect of milk consumption on vandalism rates, while Doe et al. (2018) investigated the relationship between cheese intake and white-collar crimes. However, none have ventured into the cheddar-scented realm of cottage cheese and arson—until now.

In "Milk and Mayhem: Exploring the Dairy-Crime Nexus," the authors find that dairy intake may have significant implications for criminal activity, but it's in "The Curd Connection: Unraveling the Mysteries of Cheese and Crime" where researchers provide a "gouda" overview of the existing literature. Nonetheless, the leap to cottage cheese, often dismissed as a mere bland sibling in the cheese family, adds a layer of intrigue to the already captivating saga of dairy-based misbehavior.

Venturing beyond the scholarly frontier, non-fiction works such as "The Big Cheese: A History of Cottage Cheese" and "Feta of the Mind: Dairy Delights and Criminal Tidbits" offer compelling narratives that intertwine the creamy world of cottage cheese with ambiguous misdeeds. On the fictional front, "The Curious Case of the Combustible Curds" and "Arson Havarti: A Dairy Detective Novel" add whimsy to the scholarly pursuit by inventing tales of intrigue, where dairy products play a central role in criminal escapades.

Drawing inspiration from diverse realms of discovery, board games such as Clue and its tantalizing "Who cut the cheese in the parlor with the candlestick?" prompt contemplation of the intricate ways in which seemingly unrelated elements can converge in unexpected ways. It is within this uncharted territory that our study takes "sharp" aim to uncover the truth behind the enigmatic bond between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio.

As we embark on this "feta-nating" journey, it's crucial to remember that humor and curiosity make the pursuit of knowledge a richer experience. So, let's dig into this cheesy caper, stirring the pot of academia with a healthy dose of "whey"ward investigations, and perhaps even a sprinkle of dairy-themed puns for good measure. After all, there's no harm in making the pursuit of knowledge a little "grate" fun along the whey!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The field of criminology has long sought to unravel the complex web of factors that contribute to criminal behavior. Meanwhile, the realm of nutrition continues to cheese the minds of health enthusiasts and researchers alike. In a strange yet tantalizing twist, our study sets out to explore the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the great state of Ohio. So sit back, grab a snack, and let's dive into this "grate" mystery to see if there's more to it than meets the "whey."
As researchers, we often find ourselves in "curd-les" of data, sorting through vast amounts of information to uncover hidden patterns. In the case of our investigation, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System and the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program to get to the "muenster" of the issue. The thought of examining cheese and crime may initially sound "brie-ludicrous," but we had a hunch that there might be a "cheddar" level of correlation waiting to be discovered.
This study aims to "fondue" deeper into the potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. Pardon the cheesy puns, but it's hard to resist the temptation when the findings are as "gouda" as what this research brings to the table. As we embark on this "cottage crusade," we expect our results to generate both interest and skepticism, akin to the reaction one might have upon hearing a particularly "cheesy" dad joke.
Of course, the indication of a correlation between cottage cheese and arson in Ohio throws a proverbial "whey-ncing" ball into the realm of criminology and nutrition research. Our study aims to not only bring attention to this unexpected link but also to serve as a catalyst for further exploration into the intersections of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness a correlation so strong that it could be described as "gouda-nough" to melt even the most skeptical minds.
As we move forward, it is imperative to approach this unusual connection with an open mind and a "feta-lized" sense of curiosity. In the pursuit of knowledge, we must embrace the unexpected and be willing to grapple with findings that challenge our "muenster" of understanding. So, as we journey into the world of cottage cheese and arson, let's "brie" prepared for anything – including the occasional "dairy-ingly" good joke along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To untangle the intertwining threads of cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio, we utilized a rigorous and comprehensive methodology, ensuring that no "whey" was overlooked in our pursuit of understanding this unlikely association. Our data collection spanned from 1990 to 2021, encompassing a substantial timeframe to give us a holistic view of the trends in both cottage cheese consumption and arson occurrences. We must confess, it was quite the "gouda" challenge to navigate this vast sea of data, but we do love a good "grate" mystery to sink our teeth into.

First and foremost, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System to procure information regarding the per capita consumption of cottage cheese in Ohio. This data, while seemingly mundane at first glance, carried the potential to unlock a "brie-lliant" revelation when juxtaposed with the incidence of arson crimes reported to the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program. To obtain this delicate balance of statistics, we diligently sifted through the data, ensuring that the validity and reliability of our sources weren't "whey-kened" by any potential bias or extraneous variables.

Armed with this data, we set out to perform a series of statistical analyses to determine the strength and significance of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. We employed a Pearson correlation coefficient to measure the degree of linear association between these variables, all the while trying not to get too "cheesy" with our interpretations. In addition, we subjected our findings to a regression analysis to ascertain the predictive power of cottage cheese consumption on arson incidents, all in the pursuit of understanding the "holy gruyère" of it all.

To complement these quantitative analyses, we also delved into the qualitative aspects of cottage cheese consumption and its broader societal implications on criminal behavior. Our team engaged in extensive literature reviews, peeling back the layers of academic publications and research studies to uncover any unexpected "curd-nundrums" that could shed light on this unusual correlation. We acknowledge that while the puns might be "feta-minable," our commitment to rigorous research is anything but "gorgon-'whey'ble."

Lastly, recognizing that the cottage cheese and arson dynamic straddles the realms of nutrition and criminology, we conducted in-depth interviews with experts in both fields. These discussions served as a "mozzarella" to our pizza of data, providing nuanced perspectives and insights while adding a "grate" deal of depth to the interpretation of our findings.

Despite the "cheesy" humor sprinkled throughout our approach, we assure the reader that our methodology was conducted with the utmost scientific rigor and dedication to uncovering the truth behind the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson in Ohio. As we embark on the path of discovery, we invite our readers to join us in this "gouda" quest for knowledge, where we're not afraid to tackle the "wheyrdest" of research questions.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9063989, r-squared of 0.8215589, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The field of criminology has long sought to unravel the complex web of factors that contribute to criminal behavior. Meanwhile, the realm of nutrition continues to cheese the minds of health enthusiasts and researchers alike. In a strange yet tantalizing twist, our study sets out to explore the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the great state of Ohio. So sit back, grab a snack, and let's dive into this "grate" mystery to see if there's more to it than meets the "whey."
As researchers, we often find ourselves in "curd-les" of data, sorting through vast amounts of information to uncover hidden patterns. In the case of our investigation, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System and the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program to get to the "muenster" of the issue. The thought of examining cheese and crime may initially sound "brie-ludicrous," but we had a hunch that there might be a "cheddar" level of correlation waiting to be discovered.
This study aims to "fondue" deeper into the potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. Pardon the cheesy puns, but it's hard to resist the temptation when the findings are as "gouda" as what this research brings to the table. As we embark on this "cottage crusade," we expect our results to generate both interest and skepticism, akin to the reaction one might have upon hearing a particularly "cheesy" dad joke.
Of course, the indication of a correlation between cottage cheese and arson in Ohio throws a proverbial "whey-ncing" ball into the realm of criminology and nutrition research. Our study aims to not only bring attention to this unexpected link but also to serve as a catalyst for further exploration into the intersections of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness a correlation so strong that it could be described as "gouda-nough" to melt even the most skeptical minds.
As we move forward, it is imperative to approach this unusual connection with an open mind and a "feta-lized" sense of curiosity. In the pursuit of knowledge, we must embrace the unexpected and be willing to grapple with findings that challenge our "muenster" of understanding. So, as we journey into the world of cottage cheese and arson, let's "brie" prepared for anything – including the occasional "dairy-ingly" good joke along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio yielded some "gouda" findings that left us with more than just a "whey" of fascination. Our research uncovered a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 between these seemingly unrelated variables. It appears that the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson were as closely linked as two peas in a pod – or rather, as closely linked as curds and heat.

The correlation coefficient, often referred to as "r" in the statistical world, revealed a strong positive relationship between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of arson incidents. This unexpected connection may have left some scratching their heads, but we couldn't help but "brie" delighted by the surprising turn of events. It seems that there's a "whey" for all of us to make more informed decisions about our dairy consumption and our fire safety protocols.

Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.8215589 indicated that a substantial proportion of the variability in arson incidents could be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. To put it simply, there's more to this curiously combustible relationship than meets the "eye" of the cheese grater. Our findings encourage us to "brie" more mindful of the potential impact of dairy choices on public safety, while also sparking an "inferno" of further questions and investigations in the field.

The significance level, denoted by p < 0.01, "whey-ves" any doubts about the robustness of our findings. With a p-value lower than 0.01, we can confidently infer that the observed correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents is highly unlikely to have occurred by chance alone. So, the next time you reach for a serving of cottage cheese, remember that it may come with a "grate" responsibility in preventing fiery mishaps.

Now, turning to the visual representation of our findings, Figure 1 presents a scatterplot illustrating the strong correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. This visual depiction "brie-ly" captures the essence of our statistical analysis, showcasing the unmistakable relationship between these curious variables. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, and in this case, it certainly helps to "melt" away any doubts about the authenticity of our results.

In summary, the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio has "brie"ghtened our perspective on the potential influences of dairy products on criminal behavior. Our research provides a launchpad for further exploration into the "cheese-zy" mysteries of criminology, urging us all to be mindful of the "whey" our food choices may impact our surroundings. So, as we conclude this "grate" adventure in statistical revelation, we invite you to ponder the significant implications of our findings while enjoying a "feta-licious" snack – just remember to keep an eye on your cottage cheese and your matches!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In the annals of academia, the interplay between dairy consumption and criminal behavior has often been a topic of curiosity, with studies delving into the potential correlations between various dairy products and unlawful activities. Smith et al. (2015) examined the effect of milk consumption on vandalism rates, while Doe et al. (2018) investigated the relationship between cheese intake and white-collar crimes. However, none have ventured into the cheddar-scented realm of cottage cheese and arson—until now.
In "Milk and Mayhem: Exploring the Dairy-Crime Nexus," the authors find that dairy intake may have significant implications for criminal activity, but it's in "The Curd Connection: Unraveling the Mysteries of Cheese and Crime" where researchers provide a "gouda" overview of the existing literature. Nonetheless, the leap to cottage cheese, often dismissed as a mere bland sibling in the cheese family, adds a layer of intrigue to the already captivating saga of dairy-based misbehavior.
Venturing beyond the scholarly frontier, non-fiction works such as "The Big Cheese: A History of Cottage Cheese" and "Feta of the Mind: Dairy Delights and Criminal Tidbits" offer compelling narratives that intertwine the creamy world of cottage cheese with ambiguous misdeeds. On the fictional front, "The Curious Case of the Combustible Curds" and "Arson Havarti: A Dairy Detective Novel" add whimsy to the scholarly pursuit by inventing tales of intrigue, where dairy products play a central role in criminal escapades.
Drawing inspiration from diverse realms of discovery, board games such as Clue and its tantalizing "Who cut the cheese in the parlor with the candlestick?" prompt contemplation of the intricate ways in which seemingly unrelated elements can converge in unexpected ways. It is within this uncharted territory that our study takes "sharp" aim to uncover the truth behind the enigmatic bond between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio.
As we embark on this "feta-nating" journey, it's crucial to remember that humor and curiosity make the pursuit of knowledge a richer experience. So, let's dig into this cheesy caper, stirring the pot of academia with a healthy dose of "whey"ward investigations, and perhaps even a sprinkle of dairy-themed puns for good measure. After all, there's no harm in making the pursuit of knowledge a little "grate" fun along the whey!

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio yielded some "gouda" findings that left us with more than just a "whey" of fascination. Our research uncovered a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 between these seemingly unrelated variables. It appears that the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson were as closely linked as two peas in a pod – or rather, as closely linked as curds and heat.
The correlation coefficient, often referred to as "r" in the statistical world, revealed a strong positive relationship between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of arson incidents. This unexpected connection may have left some scratching their heads, but we couldn't help but "brie" delighted by the surprising turn of events. It seems that there's a "whey" for all of us to make more informed decisions about our dairy consumption and our fire safety protocols.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.8215589 indicated that a substantial proportion of the variability in arson incidents could be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. To put it simply, there's more to this curiously combustible relationship than meets the "eye" of the cheese grater. Our findings encourage us to "brie" more mindful of the potential impact of dairy choices on public safety, while also sparking an "inferno" of further questions and investigations in the field.
The significance level, denoted by p < 0.01, "whey-ves" any doubts about the robustness of our findings. With a p-value lower than 0.01, we can confidently infer that the observed correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents is highly unlikely to have occurred by chance alone. So, the next time you reach for a serving of cottage cheese, remember that it may come with a "grate" responsibility in preventing fiery mishaps.
Now, turning to the visual representation of our findings, Figure 1 presents a scatterplot illustrating the strong correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. This visual depiction "brie-ly" captures the essence of our statistical analysis, showcasing the unmistakable relationship between these curious variables. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, and in this case, it certainly helps to "melt" away any doubts about the authenticity of our results.
In summary, the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio has "brie"ghtened our perspective on the potential influences of dairy products on criminal behavior. Our research provides a launchpad for further exploration into the "cheese-zy" mysteries of criminology, urging us all to be mindful of the "whey" our food choices may impact our surroundings. So, as we conclude this "grate" adventure in statistical revelation, we invite you to ponder the significant implications of our findings while enjoying a "feta-licious" snack – just remember to keep an eye on your cottage cheese and your matches!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have unearthed a rather "sharp" revelation in the world of criminology and nutrition. It appears that the seemingly innocuous act of consuming cottage cheese may have unintended consequences in the form of increased arson incidents. While this connection may initially seem as unlikely as being struck by a "whey"ward bolt of lightning, our statistical analysis "whey-ghed" heavily in favor of this surprising relationship.

Lending support to the existing literature exploring the dairy-crime nexus, our results harmonize with previous studies that have probed the curious connections between dairy products and unlawful activities. In doing so, we have added a "ricotta" layer of evidence to the body of knowledge that hints at the broader influence of dairy consumption on criminal behavior. It seems that the hitherto "bland" reputation of cottage cheese has gained a "shred" of intrigue in the context of criminological pursuits.

Building upon the whimsical notions put forth in the literature review, it's clear that our study has not only taken the "cheese" but also added a "grate" deal of substance to the speculative musings on dairy products and criminal mischief. Therefore, we are compelled to "brie"fly acknowledge the significance of our findings in transitioning the discourse from mere speculation to a "feta"-validated empirical understanding of the interplay between dietary choices and unlawful acts.

Furthermore, the visual representation in Figure 1 paints a compelling picture of the robust relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. This graphical illustration not only serves as a "gouda" reinforcement of our statistical analysis but also stands as a testament to the "whey"ward journey we embarked upon in unraveling the charismatic mysteries of criminology and nutrition.

In delving into the inherent absurdity of connecting cottage cheese consumption to arson incidents, our study has, paradoxically, "cheddar-ed" light on an unexplored avenue of relevance. Thus, as we navigate the implications of our findings, it becomes increasingly clear that cheese may no longer simply stand as an innocuous ingredient in culinary creations. Instead, it may serve as a "whey-finder" to unexplored territories of human behavior and criminal propensities.

As we mull over the "whey"ward implications of this research, one cannot help but appreciate the multifaceted allure of academic pursuits. Our investigation, laden with unexpected turns and "grate" revelations, epitomizes the "brie-lliance" of scientific exploration. With this in mind, we invite fellow researchers to ponder the broader significance of our findings while also enjoying their dairy-based delicacies—with a keen eye on the "curd" and a lighter on the "brie"-gardless side.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Ohio. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.

Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.

Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The field of criminology has long sought to unravel the complex web of factors that contribute to criminal behavior. Meanwhile, the realm of nutrition continues to cheese the minds of health enthusiasts and researchers alike. In a strange yet tantalizing twist, our study sets out to explore the unlikely connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the great state of Ohio. So sit back, grab a snack, and let's dive into this "grate" mystery to see if there's more to it than meets the "whey."
As researchers, we often find ourselves in "curd-les" of data, sorting through vast amounts of information to uncover hidden patterns. In the case of our investigation, we turned to the USDA's Food Availability Data System and the FBI's Uniform Crime Reporting Program to get to the "muenster" of the issue. The thought of examining cheese and crime may initially sound "brie-ludicrous," but we had a hunch that there might be a "cheddar" level of correlation waiting to be discovered.
This study aims to "fondue" deeper into the potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents. Pardon the cheesy puns, but it's hard to resist the temptation when the findings are as "gouda" as what this research brings to the table. As we embark on this "cottage crusade," we expect our results to generate both interest and skepticism, akin to the reaction one might have upon hearing a particularly "cheesy" dad joke.
Of course, the indication of a correlation between cottage cheese and arson in Ohio throws a proverbial "whey-ncing" ball into the realm of criminology and nutrition research. Our study aims to not only bring attention to this unexpected link but also to serve as a catalyst for further exploration into the intersections of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness a correlation so strong that it could be described as "gouda-nough" to melt even the most skeptical minds.
As we move forward, it is imperative to approach this unusual connection with an open mind and a "feta-lized" sense of curiosity. In the pursuit of knowledge, we must embrace the unexpected and be willing to grapple with findings that challenge our "muenster" of understanding. So, as we journey into the world of cottage cheese and arson, let's "brie" prepared for anything – including the occasional "dairy-ingly" good joke along the way.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio yielded some "gouda" findings that left us with more than just a "whey" of fascination. Our research uncovered a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 between these seemingly unrelated variables. It appears that the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson were as closely linked as two peas in a pod – or rather, as closely linked as curds and heat.
The correlation coefficient, often referred to as "r" in the statistical world, revealed a strong positive relationship between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of arson incidents. This unexpected connection may have left some scratching their heads, but we couldn't help but "brie" delighted by the surprising turn of events. It seems that there's a "whey" for all of us to make more informed decisions about our dairy consumption and our fire safety protocols.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.8215589 indicated that a substantial proportion of the variability in arson incidents could be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. To put it simply, there's more to this curiously combustible relationship than meets the "eye" of the cheese grater. Our findings encourage us to "brie" more mindful of the potential impact of dairy choices on public safety, while also sparking an "inferno" of further questions and investigations in the field.
The significance level, denoted by p < 0.01, "whey-ves" any doubts about the robustness of our findings. With a p-value lower than 0.01, we can confidently infer that the observed correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents is highly unlikely to have occurred by chance alone. So, the next time you reach for a serving of cottage cheese, remember that it may come with a "grate" responsibility in preventing fiery mishaps.
Now, turning to the visual representation of our findings, Figure 1 presents a scatterplot illustrating the strong correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. This visual depiction "brie-ly" captures the essence of our statistical analysis, showcasing the unmistakable relationship between these curious variables. As they say, a picture is worth a thousand words, and in this case, it certainly helps to "melt" away any doubts about the authenticity of our results.
In summary, the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio has "brie"ghtened our perspective on the potential influences of dairy products on criminal behavior. Our research provides a launchpad for further exploration into the "cheese-zy" mysteries of criminology, urging us all to be mindful of the "whey" our food choices may impact our surroundings. So, as we conclude this "grate" adventure in statistical revelation, we invite you to ponder the significant implications of our findings while enjoying a "feta-licious" snack – just remember to keep an eye on your cottage cheese and your matches!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we conclude our "cheese-zy" journey into the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents, it's evident that this study has "brie"nged some "gouda" insights to the forefront. Our findings have sparked discussions that are "muenster" than we could have ever imagined. It's clear that when it comes to crime and dairy, there's more at stake than just a "cracking" good snack. (Dad joke alert!)

The statistical analysis unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.9063989, indicating a 'cheddar' level of association between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio. This raises the question - could dairy truly be a 'fire-starter,' or is there a 'whey-ser' explanation for this surprising link? As the saying goes, sometimes the truth is 'grater' than fiction! (Science humor, anyone?)

Our research not only adds a 'cheddar' of excitement to the realms of criminology and nutrition but emphasizes the need to 'brie' open-minded when exploring unforeseen connections. The 'fondue' of knowledge produced by this study calls for a 'parmesan'-ent shift in how we perceive the influence of dairy products on criminal behavior. After all, it's not every day that one gets to witness such a 'gouda' connection. (Cheese puns for the win!)

In essence, our findings offer a 'brie-lliant' starting point for future investigations, but we can confidently declare that further research in this eccentric field is 'nacho' cheese-sary. (Couldn't resist one last dad joke!) With a 'grate'n amount of 'curd'osity and a 'whey'-ward glance at the implications, we bid adieu to the quirky realm of cottage cheese and arson. It's safe to say that the 'smoke' has cleared, and this unexpected avenue of exploration has been thoroughly 'melted' down.

In the words of the wise, when it comes to cottage cheese and criminal behavior, 'we'll just have to brie-lieve it when we see it!' (That's a gouda one!)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Delights


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Dairy Delights and Fiery Follies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cottage Cheese Capers: A Comparative Analysis of Consumption and Combustion in Ohio with an abstract of Cottage cheese consumption has long been a topic of intrigue and debate, but could it possibly be linked to criminal behavior? In this study, we delved into the enigmatic connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in the state of Ohio. Utilizing meticulously gathered data from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we embarked on a statistical analysis that left no curd unturned.
Amidst the labyrinth of data, a surprising correlation emerged, shocking the research team "cheddar than we thought." Our findings reveal a striking, albeit unexpected, correlation coefficient of 0.9063989 and a negligible p-value of less than 0.01 between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidents in Ohio from 1990 to 2021. It seems that there may be more to the bubbling mysteries of cottage cheese than meets the eye.
Our research opens the door to a new realm of exploration in the intersection of dairy consumption and criminal behavior. As we sift through these findings, it's tempting to say that an "inferno-mative" relationship between cottage cheese and arson has been lit. This study not only sheds light on the novel association between cottage cheese and arson but also highlights the importance of considering unexpected factors in the realm of criminology and nutrition. So, the next time you're enjoying some cottage cheese, be sure to keep an eye on the curd and maybe, just maybe, you'll prevent a fiery feta-strophe.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, arson incidents, Ohio, statistical analysis, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, p-value, dairy consumption, criminology, nutrition, criminal behavior, arson, curd, dairy products

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Arson in Ohio
Detailed data title: The arson rate per 100,000 residents in Ohio
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Arson in Ohio

Correlation r = 0.9063989 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8215589 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 82.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Arson in Ohio) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 9.4E-13. 0.0000000000009374794905714988
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.91 in 9.4E-11% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 1,066,690,002,349 random variables You don't actually need 1 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.82, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Arson in Ohio (Arson rate)48.548.845.741.946.840.74332.231.429.629.437.134.528.330.42934.834.131.830.128.226.730.82318.621.121.812.511.510.713.99.2




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([48.5,48.8,45.7,41.9,46.8,40.7,43,32.2,31.4,29.6,29.4,37.1,34.5,28.3,30.4,29,34.8,34.1,31.8,30.1,28.2,26.7,30.8,23,18.6,21.1,21.8,12.5,11.5,10.7,13.9,9.2,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Arson in Ohio"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 2477 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20063
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