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Spurious correlation #2,476 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people consumed less cottage cheese, they became more lactose intolerant, leading to an increase in gas production. This unexpected surge in flatulence created a natural gas shortage in Wisconsin, making it difficult for thieves to siphon fuel for their motor vehicles. Remember, when it comes to preventing car thefts, cutting the cheese can really make a stink!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s depicting a scene in a small town in Wisconsin. A group of people is enjoying a picnic by a peaceful lake, happily snacking on bowls of cottage cheese. As they finish their meal, they head back to their cars parked nearby. The empty highway leading out of town is quiet, with fewer emergency bathroom stops needed by drivers, leading to decreased opportunities for car theft. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Art nouveau Psychedelic Cyberpunk Macabre A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s
ChatGPT: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin, in the following situation: Fewer people having dairy digestive issues meant fewer emergency bathroom stops while driving, leading to decreased opportunities for car theft.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a small town in Wisconsin, a group of people enjoy a picnic by a peaceful lake, happily snacking on bowls of cottage cheese. As they finish their meal, they head back to their cars parked nearby. The empty highway leading out of town is quiet, with fewer emergency bathroom stops needed by drivers, leading to decreased opportunities for car theft.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s ] and depicting this scene: In a small town in Wisconsin, a group of people enjoy a picnic by a peaceful lake, happily snacking on bowls of cottage cheese. As they finish their meal, they head back to their cars parked nearby. The empty highway leading out of town is quiet, with fewer emergency bathroom stops needed by drivers, leading to decreased opportunities for car theft. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s depicting a scene in a small town in Wisconsin. A group of people is enjoying a picnic by a peaceful lake, happily snacking on bowls of cottage cheese. As they finish their meal, they head back to their cars parked nearby. The empty highway leading out of town is quiet, with fewer emergency bathroom stops needed by drivers, leading to decreased opportunities for car theft. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin to decrease. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

The International Journal of Dairy Delinquency

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, just make it sound clever.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Ah, Wisconsin – the land of cheese, cows, and surprisingly, motor vehicle thefts. It's a place where the aroma of cheese curds mingles with the sound of car alarms going off. In a state known for its dairy products and Green Bay Packers' fans, one might wonder if there's a link between the consumption of cottage cheese and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts. Could it be possible that someone is driving away with more than just a block of cheddar?

As researchers, we often find ourselves drawn to the most unusual and seemingly unrelated topics. After all, who wouldn't want to explore the intriguing, albeit bizarre, intersection of dairy delights and felonious behavior? In this study, we aim to investigate this "curd" connection and explore whether there's more to the love for cottage cheese than meets the eye or rather, the palate.

In the following pages, we will unpack the data, scrutinize the statistics, and, with a splash of humor, present our findings on the eyebrow-raising correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. So buckle up, hold on to your cheese hats, and let's embark on this dairy-driven journey through the uncanny world of correlation and crime. After all, in Wisconsin, it's not just the cheese that's sharp!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Ah, Wisconsin – the land of cheese, cows, and surprisingly, motor vehicle thefts. It's a place where the aroma of cheese curds mingles with the sound of car alarms going off. In a state known for its dairy products and Green Bay Packers' fans, one might wonder if there's a link between the consumption of cottage cheese and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts. Could it be possible that someone is driving away with more than just a block of cheddar?
As researchers, we often find ourselves drawn to the most unusual and seemingly unrelated topics. After all, who wouldn't want to explore the intriguing, albeit bizarre, intersection of dairy delights and felonious behavior? In this study, we aim to investigate this "curd" connection and explore whether there's more to the love for cottage cheese than meets the eye or rather, the palate.
In the following pages, we will unpack the data, scrutinize the statistics, and, with a splash of humor, present our findings on the eyebrow-raising correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. So buckle up, hold on to your cheese hats, and let's embark on this dairy-driven journey through the uncanny world of correlation and crime. After all, in Wisconsin, it's not just the cheese that's sharp!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The question of whether there exists a savory correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin has piqued the interest of researchers and enthusiasts alike. Smith et al. (2015) examined the impact of dairy product intake on criminal behavior, with a particular focus on the consumption of cheese-related products. Their study provided initial insights into the potential influence of cheese consumption on criminal inclinations, albeit not specifically honing in on cottage cheese.

In "The Big Cheese: A Closer Look at Dairy and Delinquency" by Doe (2008), an exploration of the links between dairy consumption and criminal activities was undertaken, shedding light on a broad spectrum of cheeses but failing to delve into the peculiar nuances of cottage cheese consumption. However, this work served as a foundation for shifting attention towards examining the granular details of curd-related edibles and their involvement in illicit activities.

Jones et al. (2012) surveyed the dietary habits of individuals implicated in auto theft incidents in Wisconsin. While their study presented intriguing patterns regarding dairy intake, it regretfully lacked a specific analysis of cottage cheese, leaving a void that this current research aims to fill - or rather, curdle.

Venturing outside the traditional academic literature, non-fiction works such as "The Cheese Lover's Companion: The Ultimate A-to-Z Cheese Guide with More Than 1,000 Listings for Cheeses and Cheese-Related Terms" provided insight into the wide array of cheese types, stimulating contemplation on the potential distinctiveness of cottage cheese in relation to criminal propensities. Similarly, "Cheese: A Global History" by Smith (2019) hinted at the varied cultural and behavioral implications of cheese consumption, prompting a metaphorical whirlwind of cheesy criminal theories.

On the fiction side, books such as "The Curious Incident of the Cottage Cheese in the Night-Time" and "The Great Gatsby: Gouda & Gambling" transported readers into a world where cottage cheese and crime mix in unexpected and, frankly, ludicrous ways. The blending of whimsical narratives with cheese-inspired criminal intrigue opened up avenues of thought that, while not academic in nature, certainly added a lighthearted dimension to our contemplation of the cheese-theft relationship.

Turning to popular culture, episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" featuring Plankton's elaborate schemes and the captivating allure of Krabby Patties injected an element of whimsy into the exploration of criminal motivations and food fetishes. The parallels drawn between the cunning manipulation of chum by Plankton and potential cottage cheese-related misdemeanors served as a delightful departure from the rigidity of scholarly examination, bringing levity to an otherwise weighty topic.

With a lighthearted spirit, we have telescoped our gaze upon a constellation of literature, both scholarly and imaginative, in pursuit of untangling the curd-conjuring quandary that has churned in the depths of dairy discourse.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Ah, Wisconsin – the land of cheese, cows, and surprisingly, motor vehicle thefts. It's a place where the aroma of cheese curds mingles with the sound of car alarms going off. In a state known for its dairy products and Green Bay Packers' fans, one might wonder if there's a link between the consumption of cottage cheese and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts. Could it be possible that someone is driving away with more than just a block of cheddar?
As researchers, we often find ourselves drawn to the most unusual and seemingly unrelated topics. After all, who wouldn't want to explore the intriguing, albeit bizarre, intersection of dairy delights and felonious behavior? In this study, we aim to investigate this "curd" connection and explore whether there's more to the love for cottage cheese than meets the eye or rather, the palate.
In the following pages, we will unpack the data, scrutinize the statistics, and, with a splash of humor, present our findings on the eyebrow-raising correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. So buckle up, hold on to your cheese hats, and let's embark on this dairy-driven journey through the uncanny world of correlation and crime. After all, in Wisconsin, it's not just the cheese that's sharp!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To crack open the case of the mysterious correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin, our research team employed a mixture of statistical analysis, data wrangling, and a sprinkle of cheesy humor. First, we gathered data on cottage cheese consumption from the USDA, delving into the per capita consumption figures spanning from 1990 to 2021. We wanted to ensure that no curd was left unturned, so our data collection process involved scouring through dairy reports, dairy industry publications, and even curiously whimsical cheese enthusiast forums for any nuggets of information.

Next, turning our attention to the motor vehicle thefts, we acquired data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, examining the reported incidents in the cheese-loving state over the same time period. We couldn't help but chuckle at the thought of detectives investigating cases of stolen cars while munching on cheese curds; it's a gouda thing our research didn't take place at midnight, or we might have been tempted to embark on a vigilante mission to stop these cringe-worthy dairy-related crimes!

After the data gathering escapades, we embraced the delightful challenge of data analysis. Armed with our trusty statistical software, we performed a myriad of analyses, from simple correlations to more complex time series modeling. Our goal was to scrutinize the numbers with the same level of meticulousness one might apply to creating the perfect cheese platter – a fine balance of flavors, textures, and statistical significance.

To ensure the robustness of our findings, we performed sensitivity analyses, rigorously testing different statistical models and adjusting for potential confounding variables. We wanted to be as thorough as a dairy farmer checking each cow for the quality of its milk – although in our case, we were milking the data for all the correlations it had to offer, rather than lactose.

Ultimately, the culmination of our methodological escapades led us to uncover a remarkably high correlation coefficient, prompting a collective raising of eyebrows among our research team. Our findings were as surprising as finding a cheese grater in a car thief's toolkit, but with more scientific significance and less criminal intent.

In the end, armed with our data, statistical prowess, and a sense of whimsy, we emerged with a gouda understanding of the intertwining relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. And just like a good cheese platter, our findings were ripe, complex, and left a lingering aftertaste of curiosity.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8101951, r-squared of 0.6564161, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Ah, Wisconsin – the land of cheese, cows, and surprisingly, motor vehicle thefts. It's a place where the aroma of cheese curds mingles with the sound of car alarms going off. In a state known for its dairy products and Green Bay Packers' fans, one might wonder if there's a link between the consumption of cottage cheese and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts. Could it be possible that someone is driving away with more than just a block of cheddar?
As researchers, we often find ourselves drawn to the most unusual and seemingly unrelated topics. After all, who wouldn't want to explore the intriguing, albeit bizarre, intersection of dairy delights and felonious behavior? In this study, we aim to investigate this "curd" connection and explore whether there's more to the love for cottage cheese than meets the eye or rather, the palate.
In the following pages, we will unpack the data, scrutinize the statistics, and, with a splash of humor, present our findings on the eyebrow-raising correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. So buckle up, hold on to your cheese hats, and let's embark on this dairy-driven journey through the uncanny world of correlation and crime. After all, in Wisconsin, it's not just the cheese that's sharp!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

**[[RESULTS]]**

**Overall Correlation**
After analyzing the data with the precision of a lactose-intolerant person checking labels, our research team found a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It seems that the love for curdled dairy may be driving more than just a craving for a creamy snack.

**Statistical Significance**
The correlation reached an r-squared value of 0.6564161, which indicates that a considerable proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in cottage cheese consumption. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings serve as a Wisconsin-sized wheel of evidence supporting the notion that there's more at play in the world of dairy products than we might have initially thought.

**Visual Representation**
A picture is worth a thousand words – or in this case, perhaps a thousand slices of cheese. Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot, revealing a visually evident connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It's not every day that one gets to see a graph that resembles a game of connect-the-dots between curds and cars!

In conclusion, it appears that there's a 'whey'ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the land of cheeseheads. Our findings raise intriguing, albeit humorous, questions about the potential impact of dairy delights on criminal behavior. So, with this odd connection in mind, it's safe to say that when it comes to crime in Wisconsin, the guilty party might just be found in the dairy aisle.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The question of whether there exists a savory correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin has piqued the interest of researchers and enthusiasts alike. Smith et al. (2015) examined the impact of dairy product intake on criminal behavior, with a particular focus on the consumption of cheese-related products. Their study provided initial insights into the potential influence of cheese consumption on criminal inclinations, albeit not specifically honing in on cottage cheese.
In "The Big Cheese: A Closer Look at Dairy and Delinquency" by Doe (2008), an exploration of the links between dairy consumption and criminal activities was undertaken, shedding light on a broad spectrum of cheeses but failing to delve into the peculiar nuances of cottage cheese consumption. However, this work served as a foundation for shifting attention towards examining the granular details of curd-related edibles and their involvement in illicit activities.
Jones et al. (2012) surveyed the dietary habits of individuals implicated in auto theft incidents in Wisconsin. While their study presented intriguing patterns regarding dairy intake, it regretfully lacked a specific analysis of cottage cheese, leaving a void that this current research aims to fill - or rather, curdle.
Venturing outside the traditional academic literature, non-fiction works such as "The Cheese Lover's Companion: The Ultimate A-to-Z Cheese Guide with More Than 1,000 Listings for Cheeses and Cheese-Related Terms" provided insight into the wide array of cheese types, stimulating contemplation on the potential distinctiveness of cottage cheese in relation to criminal propensities. Similarly, "Cheese: A Global History" by Smith (2019) hinted at the varied cultural and behavioral implications of cheese consumption, prompting a metaphorical whirlwind of cheesy criminal theories.
On the fiction side, books such as "The Curious Incident of the Cottage Cheese in the Night-Time" and "The Great Gatsby: Gouda & Gambling" transported readers into a world where cottage cheese and crime mix in unexpected and, frankly, ludicrous ways. The blending of whimsical narratives with cheese-inspired criminal intrigue opened up avenues of thought that, while not academic in nature, certainly added a lighthearted dimension to our contemplation of the cheese-theft relationship.
Turning to popular culture, episodes of "SpongeBob SquarePants" featuring Plankton's elaborate schemes and the captivating allure of Krabby Patties injected an element of whimsy into the exploration of criminal motivations and food fetishes. The parallels drawn between the cunning manipulation of chum by Plankton and potential cottage cheese-related misdemeanors served as a delightful departure from the rigidity of scholarly examination, bringing levity to an otherwise weighty topic.
With a lighthearted spirit, we have telescoped our gaze upon a constellation of literature, both scholarly and imaginative, in pursuit of untangling the curd-conjuring quandary that has churned in the depths of dairy discourse.

[[RESULTS]]
After analyzing the data with the precision of a lactose-intolerant person checking labels, our research team found a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It seems that the love for curdled dairy may be driving more than just a craving for a creamy snack.

The correlation reached an r-squared value of 0.6564161, which indicates that a considerable proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in cottage cheese consumption. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings serve as a Wisconsin-sized wheel of evidence supporting the notion that there's more at play in the world of dairy products than we might have initially thought.

A picture is worth a thousand words – or in this case, perhaps a thousand slices of cheese. Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot, revealing a visually evident connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It's not every day that one gets to see a graph that resembles a game of connect-the-dots between curds and cars!
In conclusion, it appears that there's a 'whey'ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the land of cheeseheads. Our findings raise intriguing, albeit humorous, questions about the potential impact of dairy delights on criminal behavior. So, with this odd connection in mind, it's safe to say that when it comes to crime in Wisconsin, the guilty party might just be found in the dairy aisle.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Cheese and crimes, a pairing we never thought we'd investigate! Our findings have added a sprinkle of zing to the growing body of cheesily serious research on the correlation between dairy products and criminal inclinations. Smith et al.'s (2015) initial foray into the impact of dairy product intake on criminal behavior, while not specifically honing in on cottage cheese, certainly set the stage for our curd-centric exploration. We followed up on these insights and found a whey-ward correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin.

While Doe (2008) and Jones et al. (2012) partially touched upon the broader influence of cheese consumption on criminal activities, their neglect of the peculiar nuances of cottage cheese consumption left us feeling like a slice of Swiss cheese - full of holes! Our data have now filled in those gaps and shown that our cheesy hypotheses were not just a pie in the sky.

The lighthearted literature review leads us to ponder the unexpected twists and turns our research has taken. From "The Great Gatsby: Gouda & Gambling" to "The Curious Incident of the Cottage Cheese in the Night-Time," we've seen cheese-led capers play out in fictional worlds. Our findings contributed an unexpected twist of their own, proving that 'cheesy' criminal behavior may not be as far-fetched as these titles suggest.

Our results not only affirmed the earlier findings but also added a layer of depth to the relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities. As we teased apart the data like unraveling a ball of mozzarella, the significant correlation coefficient and r-squared value convincingly demonstrated that there's more at stake in the dairy aisle than meets the eye. It's plain to see, plain as cottage cheese – sometimes the truth is stranger than fiction!

In the end, our findings are a testament to the unforeseen connections that can emerge when we delve into the curdled corners of academia. So, while others may focus on the seriousness of crime and its root causes, let's not forget to 'brie' lighthearted and 'whey'sy in our pursuit of knowledge. After all, the criminal underbelly of the dairy aisle may just be the next big 'whey' of the future!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin

[[ABSTRACT]]
Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Ah, Wisconsin – the land of cheese, cows, and surprisingly, motor vehicle thefts. It's a place where the aroma of cheese curds mingles with the sound of car alarms going off. In a state known for its dairy products and Green Bay Packers' fans, one might wonder if there's a link between the consumption of cottage cheese and the frequency of motor vehicle thefts. Could it be possible that someone is driving away with more than just a block of cheddar?
As researchers, we often find ourselves drawn to the most unusual and seemingly unrelated topics. After all, who wouldn't want to explore the intriguing, albeit bizarre, intersection of dairy delights and felonious behavior? In this study, we aim to investigate this "curd" connection and explore whether there's more to the love for cottage cheese than meets the eye or rather, the palate.
In the following pages, we will unpack the data, scrutinize the statistics, and, with a splash of humor, present our findings on the eyebrow-raising correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. So buckle up, hold on to your cheese hats, and let's embark on this dairy-driven journey through the uncanny world of correlation and crime. After all, in Wisconsin, it's not just the cheese that's sharp!

[[RESULTS]]
After analyzing the data with the precision of a lactose-intolerant person checking labels, our research team found a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 between the consumption of cottage cheese and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It seems that the love for curdled dairy may be driving more than just a craving for a creamy snack.

The correlation reached an r-squared value of 0.6564161, which indicates that a considerable proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by variations in cottage cheese consumption. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings serve as a Wisconsin-sized wheel of evidence supporting the notion that there's more at play in the world of dairy products than we might have initially thought.

A picture is worth a thousand words – or in this case, perhaps a thousand slices of cheese. Fig. 1 displays a scatterplot, revealing a visually evident connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. It's not every day that one gets to see a graph that resembles a game of connect-the-dots between curds and cars!
In conclusion, it appears that there's a 'whey'ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the land of cheeseheads. Our findings raise intriguing, albeit humorous, questions about the potential impact of dairy delights on criminal behavior. So, with this odd connection in mind, it's safe to say that when it comes to crime in Wisconsin, the guilty party might just be found in the dairy aisle.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In the words of the esteemed Sir Mix-a-Lot, "I like big curds and I cannot lie." Our research has uncovered a dairy tale of cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin. The correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 has left us 'grater'ly surprised, and with an r-squared value of 0.6564161, we can confidently say that there's more than just 'moo-tive' at play here.

The scatterplot tells a story that even the most 'Caerphilly' skeptic would find hard to dismiss. It's a 'Gouda' day when you see data points aligning like they've just met on a cheese platter. But all jokes aside, our findings suggest that there's a whey-ward correlation worth exploring – who knew that the love for cottage cheese could drive someone to take a joyride in a stolen car?

While we've had a 'gouda' time unraveling this cheesy mystery, we're 'cutting the cheese' on further investigation in this area. It seems that the connection between cottage cheese and motor vehicle thefts is as solid as a well-aged cheddar. So, let's put an 'end-dairy' to this topic and move on to less 'cheddarrible' research paths. As for Wisconsin, the next time you're shopping for dairy, remember that the only thing that should be stolen is your heart, not your car!

In the end, as we 'wheyve' our fondue farewell to this study, we can confidently say that the curds have spoken – no more research is needed in this 'cheesetastic' realm.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The International Journal of Dairy Delinquency


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Zany Dairy Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cheesy Behavior: Investigating the Curd Connection between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Wisconsin with an abstract of Gouda news, everyone! In this paper, we delve into the fascinating world of dairy consumption and crime in the land of cheeseheads. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to answer the burning question – is there a whey-ward correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin? After crunching the numbers and sprinkling a dash of statistical magic, our research team uncovered a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8101951 with a p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. Could it be that the love for cottage cheese has been driving some individuals to commit cheddarly deeds? Join us as we embark on a journey through the curdled corridors of correlation, separating the curds from the whey in this udderly intriguing study.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, motor vehicle thefts, Wisconsin, dairy consumption, crime correlation, USDA data, FBI Crime statistics, correlation coefficient, statistical analysis, cheeseheads, Wisconsin crime rates, curd connection, dairy products and crime

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Wisconsin
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin

Correlation r = 0.8101951 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.6564161 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 65.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.9E-8. 0.0000000192668983334162560000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.81 in 1.9E-6% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 51,902,490 random variables You don't actually need 51 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.64, 0.9 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)416.5436.4431.5364.7360.5363.6345.9302.5272263.2272.9272.3247.4225.8206.7227.5252.5240.3205.1158143.2144.9143.8128.7172190.7172.5163.5149.4129.4161314




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([416.5,436.4,431.5,364.7,360.5,363.6,345.9,302.5,272,263.2,272.9,272.3,247.4,225.8,206.7,227.5,252.5,240.3,205.1,158,143.2,144.9,143.8,128.7,172,190.7,172.5,163.5,149.4,129.4,161,314,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Wisconsin"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 2476 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20173
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