Spurious correlation #2,330 · View random
A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with Costco. The chart goes from 1999 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with Costco. The chart goes from 1999 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

Download png, svg

AI explanation

The intense back and forth in squash finals gets people pumped, leading to higher endorphin levels. These endorphins make shoppers at Costco feel even more satisfied with their bulk purchases, creating a racket of happiness in the aisles. It's a real game-changer for their overall shopping experience.

^{Show image generation prompt} Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a futuristic squash court with a sleek, illuminated design. Captivate the intensity of the World Open Men's Squash Championship final with two players battling fiercely amidst a breathtaking, high-tech court. Surround the court with a bustling Costco warehouse where customers are joyfully leaving with filled shopping carts and genuine smiles, creating a striking contrast of emotions and experiences. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.

This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: An image that looks like it is a scene from 'Star Wars' Psychedelic Futuristic Concept art Symbolism
ChatGPT: Futuristic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a crowded squash court, two players are fiercely battling it out in the final of the World Open Men's Squash Championship. The match has already gone to five intense sets, with the players evenly matched in skill and determination. Meanwhile, outside the court, a line of customers is seen happily exiting a Costco warehouse, each with big smiles on their faces and loaded carts of their purchases, showing their high satisfaction with the store.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Futuristic ] and depicting this scene: In a crowded squash court, two players are fiercely battling it out in the final of the World Open Men's Squash Championship. The match has already gone to five intense sets, with the players evenly matched in skill and determination. Meanwhile, outside the court, a line of customers is seen happily exiting a Costco warehouse, each with big smiles on their faces and loaded carts of their purchases, showing their high satisfaction with the store. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a futuristic squash court with a sleek, illuminated design. Captivate the intensity of the World Open Men's Squash Championship final with two players battling fiercely amidst a breathtaking, high-tech court. Surround the court with a bustling Costco warehouse where customers are joyfully leaving with filled shopping carts and genuine smiles, creating a striking contrast of emotions and experiences.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.
^{Show prompt for explanation} Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how increases in Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship positively influenced Customer satisfaction with Costco. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)

Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment

The Journal of Sports Economics and Consumer Behavior

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!

^{Show prompt used to generate this paper} Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study dissects the intriguing connection between the duration of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with the beloved warehouse retailer, Costco. Leveraging data extracted from the vast knowledge repository of Wikipedia and the comprehensive American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team embarked on this quirky adventure to uncover any correlation between two seemingly unrelated entities. With a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a statistically significant p-value less than 0.01 for the years 1999 to 2020, our findings shed light on a previously unexplored domain of inquiry. This paper revels in the ricochet of influences and impacts, serving up a volley of insights into the whimsical interplay between competitive squash and consumer contentment. In uncovering this association, we not only serve aces in academic inquiry but also embark on a courtship of curiosity, challenging conventional wisdom and showcasing the serendipity of scholarly exploration.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Amidst the vast landscape of academic inquiry and statistical exploration, there lies an intriguing and unexpected intersection between the world of World Open Squash Men's Championship and the realm of retail consumer satisfaction. This unlikely marriage of competitive athletic prowess and warehouse shopping behemoth has captured our curiosity and led us down a path of whimsical discovery.
As researchers, we are often accustomed to delving into the depths of predictable correlations and established relationships. However, the allure of the unknown and the atypical beckoned us to embark on this offbeat investigative journey. With racquets in hand and a penchant for probing the unusual, we endeavored to unravel the enigmatic link between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer contentment with Costco.
In the world of empirical inquiry, one must be prepared to confront the unexpected and embrace the peculiar. While the relationship between squash and Costco may, at first glance, seem as disparate as comparing apples and squash (pun intended), our research has unearthed a surprising connection that defies conventional wisdom.
Through the lens of statistical analysis and meticulous data exploration, we have illuminated a correlation of remarkably noteworthy proportions, revealing a coefficient that not only demands attention but also encourages a spirited game of intellectual volley. Our investigation has culminated in the unearthing of a correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a p-value lower than a mole's apartment rent, signifying a statistically significant relationship across the years 1999 to 2020. This finding, although unexpected, serves as a testament to the unassuming and often astounding connections that can emerge from the vast expanse of data.
The pursuit of knowledge, much like a riveting squash match, is riddled with unpredictable twists and turns. As we serve up the findings of our research, we invite our scholarly peers to partake in the whimsical adventure that is the exploration of the unexpected, challenging preconceived notions and reveling in the delightful and eccentric associations that underpin our world.
In the subsequent sections of this paper, we delve deeper into the mechanisms behind this surprising relationship, unravelling the intricate web of influences that shape both the world of competitive squash and the landscape of consumer satisfaction. With each passing page, we invite readers to join us in our game of scholarly intrigue, as we serve up a voluble mix of statistical scrutiny and intellectual discovery.
As we navigate the uncharted territory of this curious correlation, we invite our fellow enthusiasts of empirical inquiry to savor the peculiar and relish the unpredictable. In doing so, we not only elevate the tenacity of our academic pursuits but also celebrate the whimsy that underpins the world of scientific exploration.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The prevalence of unexpected connections within the domains of human experience and scholarly inquiry has been a topic of fascination for researchers across varied disciplines. In examining the relationship between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with Costco, we have delved into a body of literature that ranges from the quantitative realms of sports analytics to the qualitative realms of consumer psychology. Our review of the existing literature has unearthed a rich tapestry of insights, punctuated with the occasional comedic tangent and the delightful unpredictability that often characterizes academic investigation.

In "The Statistical Analysis of Competitive Athletic Events" by Smith et al., the authors investigate the intricate dynamics of sports competitions, shedding light on the nuanced interplay of factors that influence match outcomes. While the primary focus of the study revolves around conventional sports such as football and basketball, the underlying principles of athletic competition are equally relevant to the world of squash. However, as we ventured deeper into the annals of scholarly pursuit, we encountered a delightful array of unconventional sources that provided unique perspectives on the themes of competition and consumer behavior.

Turning to non-fiction works that intersect with the realms of consumer satisfaction and experiential inquiry, we encountered "Satisfaction Guaranteed: The Science of Customer Contentment" by Doe. This treatise on the multifaceted nature of customer satisfaction offers a comprehensive examination of the factors that contribute to positive consumer experiences. Though the author's exploration remains firmly rooted in the world of retail and service industries, the parallels between the principles outlined in the book and the whimsical realm of competitive squash are, dare we say, striking.

Venturing further into the literary landscape, we stumbled upon "The Art of Squash: Mastering the Court and the Game" by Jones, a guide that offers a comprehensive insight into the technical and strategic aspects of squash. While undoubtedly informative in its treatment of squash as a sport, the book hints at a deeper layer of inquiry, teasing the reader with subtle allusions to the potential psychological and emotional impacts of the game. It is within this juncture of sportsmanship and customer satisfaction that our investigation found a delightful convergence of themes, beckoning us to traverse the hallowed halls of unexpected scholarly interplay.

In a departure from traditional academic sources, we also found inspiration in the world of fictional narratives, where the interweaving of disparate elements mirrors the curious association at the heart of our study. "The Joy of Bulk Shopping: Tales from the Costco Aisles" and "Squash Court Mysteries: The Curious Cases of Competitive Rallies" offer whimsical escapades into the realms of consumerism and athletic intrigue, embodying the delightful fusion of the ordinary and the extraordinary that characterizes our scholarly undertaking.

Drawing from the depths of popular culture, we occasionally found ourselves wandering into the realm of children's cartoons and television shows that, despite their lighthearted nature, subtly informed our perspective on the correlation at hand. The antics of a certain animated sponge living in a pineapple under the sea and the entrepreneurial endeavors of a certain adventurous, yellow-hatted primate offered unexpected glimpses into the whimsy of consumer satisfaction, reaffirming the notion that scholarly inquiry knows no bounds, even if it means drawing inspiration from the unlikeliest of sources.

As we navigate through the sea of literature that has informed our exploration, we not only highlight the scholarly undercurrents that propel our investigation but also embrace the delightful quirks and idiosyncrasies that flavor the magnificent buffet of knowledge. Our foray into the world of interconnectedness serves as a testament to the serendipitous nature of scholarly pursuits, offering a lighthearted reminder that within the rigors of empirical inquiry, there lies a treasure trove of unexpected insights and the occasional chuckle.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Wikipedia and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 1999 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study dissects the intriguing connection between the duration of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with the beloved warehouse retailer, Costco. Leveraging data extracted from the vast knowledge repository of Wikipedia and the comprehensive American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team embarked on this quirky adventure to uncover any correlation between two seemingly unrelated entities. With a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a statistically significant p-value less than 0.01 for the years 1999 to 2020, our findings shed light on a previously unexplored domain of inquiry. This paper revels in the ricochet of influences and impacts, serving up a volley of insights into the whimsical interplay between competitive squash and consumer contentment. In uncovering this association, we not only serve aces in academic inquiry but also embark on a courtship of curiosity, challenging conventional wisdom and showcasing the serendipity of scholarly exploration.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introduction
Amidst the vast landscape of academic inquiry and statistical exploration, there lies an intriguing and unexpected intersection between the world of World Open Squash Men's Championship and the realm of retail consumer satisfaction. This unlikely marriage of competitive athletic prowess and warehouse shopping behemoth has captured our curiosity and led us down a path of whimsical discovery.
As researchers, we are often accustomed to delving into the depths of predictable correlations and established relationships. However, the allure of the unknown and the atypical beckoned us to embark on this offbeat investigative journey. With racquets in hand and a penchant for probing the unusual, we endeavored to unravel the enigmatic link between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer contentment with Costco.
In the world of empirical inquiry, one must be prepared to confront the unexpected and embrace the peculiar. While the relationship between squash and Costco may, at first glance, seem as disparate as comparing apples and squash (pun intended), our research has unearthed a surprising connection that defies conventional wisdom.
Through the lens of statistical analysis and meticulous data exploration, we have illuminated a correlation of remarkably noteworthy proportions, revealing a coefficient that not only demands attention but also encourages a spirited game of intellectual volley. Our investigation has culminated in the unearthing of a correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a p-value lower than a mole's apartment rent, signifying a statistically significant relationship across the years 1999 to 2020. This finding, although unexpected, serves as a testament to the unassuming and often astounding connections that can emerge from the vast expanse of data.
The pursuit of knowledge, much like a riveting squash match, is riddled with unpredictable twists and turns. As we serve up the findings of our research, we invite our scholarly peers to partake in the whimsical adventure that is the exploration of the unexpected, challenging preconceived notions and reveling in the delightful and eccentric associations that underpin our world.
In the subsequent sections of this paper, we delve deeper into the mechanisms behind this surprising relationship, unravelling the intricate web of influences that shape both the world of competitive squash and the landscape of consumer satisfaction. With each passing page, we invite readers to join us in our game of scholarly intrigue, as we serve up a voluble mix of statistical scrutiny and intellectual discovery.
As we navigate the uncharted territory of this curious correlation, we invite our fellow enthusiasts of empirical inquiry to savor the peculiar and relish the unpredictable. In doing so, we not only elevate the tenacity of our academic pursuits but also celebrate the whimsy that underpins the world of scientific exploration.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection and Extraction
The quest for unraveling the enigmatic link between World Open Squash Men's Championship and Costco customer satisfaction commenced with the collection and extraction of data from disparate sources. Our research team scoured the labyrinthine expanse of the internet, venturing into the digital depths of Wikipedia and the esteemed American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI). Amidst the troves of information and labyrinthine network of data, we sought to procure a comprehensive dataset spanning the years 1999 to 2020, capturing the evolution of both the squash championship and the whims of consumer sentiment.

It should be noted that while some may jest about the veracity of data gleaned from Wikipedia, we diligently cross-referenced and triangulated information with reputable sources to ensure the integrity and accuracy of our dataset. As for the American Customer Satisfaction Index, one must refrain from jumping to conclusions about the correlation between squash and Costco based solely on the mention of "index". This index, much akin to the Dow Jones or Nasdaq, holds the pulse of consumer contentment and serves as a reliable compass in our scholarly navigation.

Identification of Variables
In striving to uncover the nuances of this peculiar correlation, we zeroed in on the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship as our independent variable. The duration and intensity of these sets serve as a testament to the endurance and competitive fervor exhibited by squash athletes on the grand stage, offering a window into the world of athletic prowess and tenacity.

As for the dependent variable, the customer satisfaction with Costco emerged as our beacon of curiosity. Beyond the aisles of bulk goods and the allure of free samples, lies a realm of consumer sentiment as dynamic and nuanced as the swift volleys exchanged on the squash court. We aimed to capture the ebb and flow of customer contentment, pivoting our gaze towards a retail landscape as vast and labyrinthine as the back corners of a squash court.

The confluence of these variables, akin to the intricate interplay between proton and neutron, precipitated a study of unsuspected consequences and whimsical revelations, culminating in a dance of statistical scrutiny and unyielding curiosity.

Statistical Analysis
Armed with a panoply of statistical tools and a veritable arsenal of computational methods, we subjected the amassed dataset to rigorous scrutiny. From the battle-tested realm of correlation analysis to the uncharted territories of regression modeling, we traversed a landscape of analytical methodologies with the precision and determination befitting a squash maestro eyeing the coveted championship.

Unveiling a Correlation: Ah, the Ace of Coefficients
The crux of our investigation hinged upon the revelation of a correlation coefficient that not only raised eyebrows but also prompted a chuckle or two amidst the chambers of statistical inquiry. With a coefficient of 0.7033491, our findings painted a picture of interdependence and association that transcended the realms of retail and racketry.

The statistically significant p-value, a result of comprehensive analysis and scholarly introspection, underscored the gravity of our revelation. With a p-value less than 0.01, our discovery bore the stamp of statistical rigour, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to partake in the revelry of unexpected associations and scholarly whimsy.

In the subsequent sections of this paper, we unravel the threads of this investigation, unravelling the captivating nuances and serendipitous connections that underpin this peculiar correlation. As we delve deeper into the labyrinth of statistical scrutiny, we refocus our gaze on the interplay of variables and revel in the curious dance of empirical examination.

In conclusion, we invite our readers to join us in this scholarly tennis match, where the volley of information meets the racket of revelation, serving up a spirited game of inquiry and insight. In doing so, we not only illuminate the veracity of an unexpected correlation but also celebrate the whimsical and unanticipated connections that underpin the landscape of empirical exploration.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study dissects the intriguing connection between the duration of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with the beloved warehouse retailer, Costco. Leveraging data extracted from the vast knowledge repository of Wikipedia and the comprehensive American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team embarked on this quirky adventure to uncover any correlation between two seemingly unrelated entities. With a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a statistically significant p-value less than 0.01 for the years 1999 to 2020, our findings shed light on a previously unexplored domain of inquiry. This paper revels in the ricochet of influences and impacts, serving up a volley of insights into the whimsical interplay between competitive squash and consumer contentment. In uncovering this association, we not only serve aces in academic inquiry but also embark on a courtship of curiosity, challenging conventional wisdom and showcasing the serendipity of scholarly exploration.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The prevalence of unexpected connections within the domains of human experience and scholarly inquiry has been a topic of fascination for researchers across varied disciplines. In examining the relationship between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with Costco, we have delved into a body of literature that ranges from the quantitative realms of sports analytics to the qualitative realms of consumer psychology. Our review of the existing literature has unearthed a rich tapestry of insights, punctuated with the occasional comedic tangent and the delightful unpredictability that often characterizes academic investigation.
In "The Statistical Analysis of Competitive Athletic Events" by Smith et al., the authors investigate the intricate dynamics of sports competitions, shedding light on the nuanced interplay of factors that influence match outcomes. While the primary focus of the study revolves around conventional sports such as football and basketball, the underlying principles of athletic competition are equally relevant to the world of squash. However, as we ventured deeper into the annals of scholarly pursuit, we encountered a delightful array of unconventional sources that provided unique perspectives on the themes of competition and consumer behavior.
Turning to non-fiction works that intersect with the realms of consumer satisfaction and experiential inquiry, we encountered "Satisfaction Guaranteed: The Science of Customer Contentment" by Doe. This treatise on the multifaceted nature of customer satisfaction offers a comprehensive examination of the factors that contribute to positive consumer experiences. Though the author's exploration remains firmly rooted in the world of retail and service industries, the parallels between the principles outlined in the book and the whimsical realm of competitive squash are, dare we say, striking.
Venturing further into the literary landscape, we stumbled upon "The Art of Squash: Mastering the Court and the Game" by Jones, a guide that offers a comprehensive insight into the technical and strategic aspects of squash. While undoubtedly informative in its treatment of squash as a sport, the book hints at a deeper layer of inquiry, teasing the reader with subtle allusions to the potential psychological and emotional impacts of the game. It is within this juncture of sportsmanship and customer satisfaction that our investigation found a delightful convergence of themes, beckoning us to traverse the hallowed halls of unexpected scholarly interplay.
In a departure from traditional academic sources, we also found inspiration in the world of fictional narratives, where the interweaving of disparate elements mirrors the curious association at the heart of our study. "The Joy of Bulk Shopping: Tales from the Costco Aisles" and "Squash Court Mysteries: The Curious Cases of Competitive Rallies" offer whimsical escapades into the realms of consumerism and athletic intrigue, embodying the delightful fusion of the ordinary and the extraordinary that characterizes our scholarly undertaking.
Drawing from the depths of popular culture, we occasionally found ourselves wandering into the realm of children's cartoons and television shows that, despite their lighthearted nature, subtly informed our perspective on the correlation at hand. The antics of a certain animated sponge living in a pineapple under the sea and the entrepreneurial endeavors of a certain adventurous, yellow-hatted primate offered unexpected glimpses into the whimsy of consumer satisfaction, reaffirming the notion that scholarly inquiry knows no bounds, even if it means drawing inspiration from the unlikeliest of sources.
As we navigate through the sea of literature that has informed our exploration, we not only highlight the scholarly undercurrents that propel our investigation but also embrace the delightful quirks and idiosyncrasies that flavor the magnificent buffet of knowledge. Our foray into the world of interconnectedness serves as a testament to the serendipitous nature of scholarly pursuits, offering a lighthearted reminder that within the rigors of empirical inquiry, there lies a treasure trove of unexpected insights and the occasional chuckle.

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and customer satisfaction with Costco. This significant correlation indicates a relationship worth more than just a passing backhand. The coefficient, much like a perfectly executed drop shot, caught the attention of our research team and beckoned them to examine this unexpected association further.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.4947000 suggests that approximately 49.47% of the variability in Costco customer satisfaction can be explained by the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship. This proportion, akin to the percentage of squash players who admit to having a "love-love" relationship with their beloved sport, underscores the meaningful influence of this peculiar connection.
The statistical significance, with a p-value less than 0.01, further reinforces the strength of this relationship, ensuring that this finding is not just a statistical fluke but a genuine, tangible link deserving of attention. This level of significance is as rare as a Costco sample booth without a queue, emphasizing the substantive impact of our results.
These findings, depicted in Fig. 1, corroborate the compelling nature of the correlation between the variables. With each data point plotted on the scatterplot, the figure essentially serves as a visual ace, driving home the point that this unexpected connection is more than just a random occurrence in the realm of statistical analysis.
In summary, our investigation into the uncharted territory of squash and consumer satisfaction has not only served to highlight a remarkable correlation but also reignited the spirit of scholarly curiosity, proving that even the most unlikely pairings can uncover meaningful insights. This quirky connection, much like a well-crafted pun, has left an indelible mark on the landscape of empirical inquiry, challenging traditional boundaries and paving the way for future explorations into the whimsical and unexpected associations that underpin our world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our study unveil a compelling association between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with Costco. Our research delves into the mysterious realm where the thud of a squash ball and the rustle of bulk-sized products intersect, showcasing an unexpected harmony akin to a well-coordinated doubles pair on the squash court.

The robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491, reminiscent of a perfectly sliced backhand, aligns closely with prior research that has illuminated the clandestine connections between seemingly disparate variables. Our results echo the whimsical musings of earlier scholars who, in their explorations, stumbled upon unanticipated treasure troves of interconnectedness. Indeed, much like a ball ricocheting across the squash court, our findings reflect the ricochet of influences and impacts that characterize the world of empirical inquiry.

The r-squared value of 0.4947000, akin to the proportion of patrons who experience unbridled joy upon discovering a jumbo-sized jar of pickles, underscores the noteworthy influence of the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship on Costco customer satisfaction. This significant proportion not only mirrors the nuanced interplay of variables but also highlights the striking parallels between competitive squash and the retail landscape—a convergence that is as unexpected as finding a spare squash ball in a Costco shopping cart.

Furthermore, the statistical significance of our results, with a p-value less than 0.01, represents a veritable slam dunk in the realm of empirical inquiry. This level of statistical robustness is as rare as a quiet squash court during peak hours, cementing the validity of the observed correlation and corroborating its substantive impact on scholarly discourse.

In essence, our findings not only corroborate the prior literature that has delved into the delightful unpredictability of interconnected domains but also add a compelling layer of evidence to the growing tapestry of scholarly inquiry. The unexpected connection between the world of competitive squash and consumer satisfaction at Costco, much like a well-timed serve, has propelled our exploration into uncharted territory, reaffirming the notion that within the realm of empirical investigation, the most unconventional pairings can yield remarkable insights.

As we continue to serve up a volley of insights, our investigation stands as a testament to the serendipity of scholarly pursuits, casting a lighthearted spotlight on the delightful quirks and idiosyncrasies that flavor the expanses of empirical inquiry. With this in mind, we eagerly anticipate future explorations into the whimsical and surreal associations that underpin our scholarly landscape—the occasional chuckle notwithstanding.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship and Customer satisfaction with Costco. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study dissects the intriguing connection between the duration of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with the beloved warehouse retailer, Costco. Leveraging data extracted from the vast knowledge repository of Wikipedia and the comprehensive American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team embarked on this quirky adventure to uncover any correlation between two seemingly unrelated entities. With a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a statistically significant p-value less than 0.01 for the years 1999 to 2020, our findings shed light on a previously unexplored domain of inquiry. This paper revels in the ricochet of influences and impacts, serving up a volley of insights into the whimsical interplay between competitive squash and consumer contentment. In uncovering this association, we not only serve aces in academic inquiry but also embark on a courtship of curiosity, challenging conventional wisdom and showcasing the serendipity of scholarly exploration.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Introduction
Amidst the vast landscape of academic inquiry and statistical exploration, there lies an intriguing and unexpected intersection between the world of World Open Squash Men's Championship and the realm of retail consumer satisfaction. This unlikely marriage of competitive athletic prowess and warehouse shopping behemoth has captured our curiosity and led us down a path of whimsical discovery.
As researchers, we are often accustomed to delving into the depths of predictable correlations and established relationships. However, the allure of the unknown and the atypical beckoned us to embark on this offbeat investigative journey. With racquets in hand and a penchant for probing the unusual, we endeavored to unravel the enigmatic link between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer contentment with Costco.
In the world of empirical inquiry, one must be prepared to confront the unexpected and embrace the peculiar. While the relationship between squash and Costco may, at first glance, seem as disparate as comparing apples and squash (pun intended), our research has unearthed a surprising connection that defies conventional wisdom.
Through the lens of statistical analysis and meticulous data exploration, we have illuminated a correlation of remarkably noteworthy proportions, revealing a coefficient that not only demands attention but also encourages a spirited game of intellectual volley. Our investigation has culminated in the unearthing of a correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a p-value lower than a mole's apartment rent, signifying a statistically significant relationship across the years 1999 to 2020. This finding, although unexpected, serves as a testament to the unassuming and often astounding connections that can emerge from the vast expanse of data.
The pursuit of knowledge, much like a riveting squash match, is riddled with unpredictable twists and turns. As we serve up the findings of our research, we invite our scholarly peers to partake in the whimsical adventure that is the exploration of the unexpected, challenging preconceived notions and reveling in the delightful and eccentric associations that underpin our world.
In the subsequent sections of this paper, we delve deeper into the mechanisms behind this surprising relationship, unravelling the intricate web of influences that shape both the world of competitive squash and the landscape of consumer satisfaction. With each passing page, we invite readers to join us in our game of scholarly intrigue, as we serve up a voluble mix of statistical scrutiny and intellectual discovery.
As we navigate the uncharted territory of this curious correlation, we invite our fellow enthusiasts of empirical inquiry to savor the peculiar and relish the unpredictable. In doing so, we not only elevate the tenacity of our academic pursuits but also celebrate the whimsy that underpins the world of scientific exploration.

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and customer satisfaction with Costco. This significant correlation indicates a relationship worth more than just a passing backhand. The coefficient, much like a perfectly executed drop shot, caught the attention of our research team and beckoned them to examine this unexpected association further.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.4947000 suggests that approximately 49.47% of the variability in Costco customer satisfaction can be explained by the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship. This proportion, akin to the percentage of squash players who admit to having a "love-love" relationship with their beloved sport, underscores the meaningful influence of this peculiar connection.
The statistical significance, with a p-value less than 0.01, further reinforces the strength of this relationship, ensuring that this finding is not just a statistical fluke but a genuine, tangible link deserving of attention. This level of significance is as rare as a Costco sample booth without a queue, emphasizing the substantive impact of our results.
These findings, depicted in Fig. 1, corroborate the compelling nature of the correlation between the variables. With each data point plotted on the scatterplot, the figure essentially serves as a visual ace, driving home the point that this unexpected connection is more than just a random occurrence in the realm of statistical analysis.
In summary, our investigation into the uncharted territory of squash and consumer satisfaction has not only served to highlight a remarkable correlation but also reignited the spirit of scholarly curiosity, proving that even the most unlikely pairings can uncover meaningful insights. This quirky connection, much like a well-crafted pun, has left an indelible mark on the landscape of empirical inquiry, challenging traditional boundaries and paving the way for future explorations into the whimsical and unexpected associations that underpin our world.

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[[CONCLUSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study elucidates a surprisingly substantial correlation between the number of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with Costco. This unexpected association offers an intriguing metaphorical "return on serve" in the domain of empirical research, serving up a volley of insights that challenge conventional expectations.

The robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491, akin to the precision of a well-executed squash shot, underscores the notable relationship between these seemingly disparate entities. The r-squared value of 0.4947000 further emphasizes the meaningful influence of this connection, revealing that approximately 49.47% of Costco customer contentment can be explained by the duration of squash sets. As remarkable as a squash player seamlessly transitioning from a backhand to a forehand shot, the statistical significance with a p-value less than 0.01 reinforces the genuineness of this unexpected link, ensuring that this finding is more than just a statistical anomaly.

Our findings, much like a thrilling rally on the squash court, captivate scholarly curiosity and impart a sense of intrigue in uncovering unpredicted correlations. The enigmatic interplay between competitive squash and retail consumer satisfaction, while unconventional, offers a gratifying revelation that challenges the boundaries of empirical inquiry.

In light of these revelatory findings, we assert with conviction that further exploration into this whimsical correlation is not warranted. Our scholarly expedition into the unanticipated realm of squash and Costco customer satisfaction has served up a veritable ace, leaving us content in the knowledge that our findings have illuminated this unique association in all its whimsical wonder.

As the game draws to a close, it is evident that this peculiar relationship between squash and Costco customer satisfaction need not be dissected further. The ball, much like our scholarly investigation, is firmly in the court of academic history, where it will undoubtedly spark curiosity and contemplation for generations to come. With this, we serve the final point: no further research is needed in this captivating domain of scholarly inquiry, as this study has aced the revelation of a surprising connection that defies traditional expectations.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Sports Economics and Consumer Behavior

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Consumer Consumption Studies

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment with an abstract of This study dissects the intriguing connection between the duration of sets played in the final of the World Open Squash Men's Championship and the level of customer satisfaction with the beloved warehouse retailer, Costco. Leveraging data extracted from the vast knowledge repository of Wikipedia and the comprehensive American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team embarked on this quirky adventure to uncover any correlation between two seemingly unrelated entities. With a robust correlation coefficient of 0.7033491 and a statistically significant p-value less than 0.01 for the years 1999 to 2020, our findings shed light on a previously unexplored domain of inquiry. This paper revels in the ricochet of influences and impacts, serving up a volley of insights into the whimsical interplay between competitive squash and consumer contentment. In uncovering this association, we not only serve aces in academic inquiry but also embark on a courtship of curiosity, challenging conventional wisdom and showcasing the serendipity of scholarly exploration.

ChatGPT:

World Open Squash Men's Championship, duration of squash sets, customer satisfaction, Costco, correlation coefficient, American Customer Satisfaction Index, Wikipedia, statistical significance, consumer contentment, competitive squash

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.

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Data details

Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship
Detailed data title: Number of sets played in final of World Open (Squash) Men's championship
Source: Wikipedia
See what else correlates with Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship

Customer satisfaction with Costco
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with Costco

Correlation r = 0.7033491 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r² = 0.4947000 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 49.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with Costco) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship) over the 22 years from 1999 through 2020.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.000261.^Show 0.0002605804785387713300000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme.^Note More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.7 in 0.0261% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 3,838 random variables^Note Which I absolutely did.
with the same 21 degrees of freedom, ^Note Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 21 because we have two variables measured over a period of 22 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.4, 0.87 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
^{Read more about the confidence interval} The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!

All values for the years included above: ^Note If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.

	1999	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004	2005	2006	2007	2008	2009	2010	2011	2012	2013	2014	2015	2016	2017	2018	2019	2020
Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship (Sets)	3	0	0	5	4	5	3	5	3	4	3	4	4	5	5	5	3	4	5	4	4	4
Customer satisfaction with Costco (Consumer Satisfaction)	79	77	76	79	80	79	79	81	81	83	81	82	83	83	84	84	81	83	83	83	83	81

Why this works

Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
Lack of causal connection: There is probably^Note Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple^Note Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. ^Note Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.

Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. ^{Show the steps to do this.} Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."

# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3,0,0,5,4,5,3,5,3,4,3,4,4,5,5,5,3,4,5,4,4,4,])
array_2 = np.array([79,77,76,79,80,79,79,81,81,83,81,82,83,83,84,84,81,83,83,83,83,81,])
array_1_name = "Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with Costco"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)

Reuseable content

You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. ^Note Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

Full license details.
For more on re-use permissions, or to get a signed release form, see tylervigen.com/permission.

Download images for these variables:

High resolution line chart ^Note The image linked here is a Scalable Vector Graphic (SVG). It is the highest resolution that is possible to achieve. It scales up beyond the size of the observable universe without pixelating. You do not need to email me asking if I have a higher resolution image. I do not. The physical limitations of our universe prevent me from providing you with an image that is any higher resolution than this one.

If you insert it into a PowerPoint presentation (a tool well-known for managing things that are the scale of the universe), you can right-click > "Ungroup" or "Create Shape" and then edit the lines and text directly. You can also change the colors this way.

Alternatively you can use a tool like Inkscape.
High resolution line chart, optimized for mobile
Alternative high resolution line chart
Scatterplot
Portable line chart (png)
Portable line chart (png), optimized for mobile
Line chart for only Number of sets played in final of World Open Squash Men's championship
Line chart for only Customer satisfaction with Costco
AI-generated correlation image
The spurious research paper: Smash, Serve, and Savings: The Racket of Squash and Costco Customer Contentment

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Correlation ID: 2330 · Black Variable ID: 277 · Red Variable ID: 19840


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