Spurious correlation #2,196 · View random
A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is American cheese consumption and the second variable is Patents granted in the US. The chart goes from 1990 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is American cheese consumption and the second variable is Patents granted in the US. The chart goes from 1990 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

Download png, svg

AI explanation

As American cheese consumption increased, so did the overall happiness and ingenuity of the population. This led to a surge in innovative ideas, prompting more patent applications and approvals. It's like the more cheesy the snacks, the more patent-worthy the products!

^{Show image generation prompt} Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that captures the essence of a sunny park picnic. The scene should include a group of people enjoying American cheese on sandwiches and crackers while thought bubbles appear above their heads, filled with innovative ideas. In the background, depict a line of inventors eagerly presenting patent applications to a smiling official, who enthusiastically stamps each one with approval. The overall atmosphere should exude happiness and creativity, with the scent of cheese permeating the air. The image should be portrayed in a Cubist style, capturing the sense of movement and dynamism. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.

This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Glitch art Minimalism Magic realism Surrealism Cubism
ChatGPT: Cubism

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US, in the following situation: As American cheese consumption increased, so did the overall happiness and ingenuity of the population. This led to a surge in innovative ideas, prompting more patent applications and approvals. It's like the more cheesy the snacks, the more patent-worthy the products!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: Picture a picnic in a sunny park, with people enjoying American cheese on sandwiches and crackers. As they savor the cheesy treats, you spot thought bubbles appearing above their heads, filled with innovative ideas. In the background, a line of inventors eagerly present their patent applications to a smiling official, who eagerly stamps each one with approval. The scene exudes a contagious sense of happiness and creativity, with the scent of cheese in the air.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cubism ] and depicting this scene: Picture a picnic in a sunny park, with people enjoying American cheese on sandwiches and crackers. As they savor the cheesy treats, you spot thought bubbles appearing above their heads, filled with innovative ideas. In the background, a line of inventors eagerly present their patent applications to a smiling official, who eagerly stamps each one with approval. The scene exudes a contagious sense of happiness and creativity, with the scent of cheese in the air. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that captures the essence of a sunny park picnic. The scene should include a group of people enjoying American cheese on sandwiches and crackers while thought bubbles appear above their heads, filled with innovative ideas. In the background, depict a line of inventors eagerly presenting patent applications to a smiling official, who enthusiastically stamps each one with approval. The overall atmosphere should exude happiness and creativity, with the scent of cheese permeating the air. The image should be portrayed in a Cubist style, capturing the sense of movement and dynamism.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.
^{Show prompt for explanation} Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humerus responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in American cheese consumption caused Patents granted in the US to increase. Add a funny one-liner about one of the variables at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)

Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

The Gouda Gazette

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!

^{Show prompt used to generate this paper} Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas."

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the illustrious realm of academic research, one might find oneself pondering the most peculiar of inquiries, such as the connection between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. While the average mind might consider this endeavor to be a mere flight of fancy, our inquisitive spirits and love for fromage propelled us to embark on this curious journey.
Cheese, often celebrated for its delectable taste and unmatched ability to enhance any culinary creation, holds a revered place in the hearts (and stomachs) of many. However, its potential influence on the innovative prowess of a nation has remained a topic largely unexplored. Conversely, patents stand as a testament to human ingenuity and technological advancement, representing the embodiment of pioneering ideas. Yet, who would have thought that a correlation between cheese consumption and patents could be anything more than a Gouda-ol' coincidence?
Inspired by the renowned saying, "It's not easy being cheesy," we sought to unravel the mysteries that lie within the statistical tapestry of cheese consumption and patent acquisition. Our study spanned a period of three decades, encompassing copious data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO). Through the diligent application of rigorous statistical methods and a healthy sprinkling of cheese puns, we unearthed a correlation that left us both bewildered and delightfully amused.
In unveiling a correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, accompanied by a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings surpassed all expectations, providing evidence that this relationship transcends mere happenstance. It seems that the aphorism "grate ideas" takes on an entirely new flavor, as we navigate through the labyrinth of data to uncover the unexpected alliance between cheese consumption and patented innovations.
Therefore, with our metaphorical lab coats donned and an array of specialty cheeses at the ready, we invite our esteemed colleagues to join us in exploring this intriguing association and perhaps discover a newfound appreciation for the lesser-known influences on the inventive spirit. After all, in the world of research, one must always be prepared for the unexpected, whether it involves hypotheses or a pleasingly gooey slice of American cheese.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The unexpected correlation between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States has sparked a range of inquiries across disciplines, inspiring a diverse array of research studies. Smith et al. (2015) posited that food consumption patterns, including cheese, may have indirect effects on cognitive function and creative thinking, potentially impacting inventive output. Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the societal and cultural dimensions of cheese consumption, suggesting that the communal experience of enjoying cheese may foster collaborative ideation and innovation within communities.

In "The Big Cheese: A Guide to the World of Cheese" by Smith, readers are treated to a comprehensive examination of cheese varieties, crafting techniques, and culinary applications, which may offer insights into the potential influences of American cheese consumption on inventive endeavors. Similarly, "The Cheese Lover's Companion" by Doe provides a fascinating exploration of the cultural significance of cheese, offering perspectives on how the communal enjoyment of cheese may contribute to a conducive atmosphere for creative thinking and patent acquisition.

Turning to the realm of fiction, the quirky board game "Say Cheese!: A Dairy Delight" has captivated enthusiasts with its playful depiction of cheese-themed challenges and trivia. While undoubtedly a source of entertainment, this game's whimsical approach to cheese-related activities may offer a lighthearted yet thought-provoking perspective on the potential impact of cheese-centric experiences on inventive endeavors. Moreover, in the novel "The Cheesy Conundrum" by Jones, a comedic tale of inventors and cheese aficionados intertwines, presenting an imaginative narrative that may inspire contemplation of the unexpected interplay between cheese consumption and patent acquisition.

It is evident that the uncharted terrain of cheese-related influences on inventive output has drawn the interest of scholars and enthusiasts alike, offering a rich tapestry of perspectives that stretch beyond conventional academic discourse. While the cheese may stand alone as a delectable culinary delight, its potential role in shaping the innovative landscape beckons further exploration, aiming to unravel the enigmatic links between cheese, inventive thinking, and patent acquisition.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and USPTO . You used data from 1990 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas."

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the illustrious realm of academic research, one might find oneself pondering the most peculiar of inquiries, such as the connection between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. While the average mind might consider this endeavor to be a mere flight of fancy, our inquisitive spirits and love for fromage propelled us to embark on this curious journey.
Cheese, often celebrated for its delectable taste and unmatched ability to enhance any culinary creation, holds a revered place in the hearts (and stomachs) of many. However, its potential influence on the innovative prowess of a nation has remained a topic largely unexplored. Conversely, patents stand as a testament to human ingenuity and technological advancement, representing the embodiment of pioneering ideas. Yet, who would have thought that a correlation between cheese consumption and patents could be anything more than a Gouda-ol' coincidence?
Inspired by the renowned saying, "It's not easy being cheesy," we sought to unravel the mysteries that lie within the statistical tapestry of cheese consumption and patent acquisition. Our study spanned a period of three decades, encompassing copious data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO). Through the diligent application of rigorous statistical methods and a healthy sprinkling of cheese puns, we unearthed a correlation that left us both bewildered and delightfully amused.
In unveiling a correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, accompanied by a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings surpassed all expectations, providing evidence that this relationship transcends mere happenstance. It seems that the aphorism "grate ideas" takes on an entirely new flavor, as we navigate through the labyrinth of data to uncover the unexpected alliance between cheese consumption and patented innovations.
Therefore, with our metaphorical lab coats donned and an array of specialty cheeses at the ready, we invite our esteemed colleagues to join us in exploring this intriguing association and perhaps discover a newfound appreciation for the lesser-known influences on the inventive spirit. After all, in the world of research, one must always be prepared for the unexpected, whether it involves hypotheses or a pleasingly gooey slice of American cheese.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the enigmatic correlation between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States, our research team embarked on a methodological odyssey, navigating through the treacherous seas of data collection and statistical analysis. Our quest for knowledge led us to the data repositories of the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO), where we pillaged and plundered data sets spanning the years 1990 to 2020.

The first step in our convoluted methodology involved meticulously scouring the USDA's rich trove of information on American cheese consumption. We solemnly swear that no blocks of cheddar were harmed in the making of this research, as we diligently recorded the annual per capita consumption of American cheese, embracing the spirit of Swiss precision as we sliced through the data.

Simultaneously, we ventured into the hallowed halls of the USPTO, where we navigated the labyrinthine corridors of granted patents with the determination of intrepid explorers. Each patent represented a beacon of human innovation, beckoning us to scrutinize its significance in the grand tapestry of progress.

With our trusty calculators and an arsenal of statistical software at the ready, we dived into the murky depths of quantitative analysis. We employed the venerable Pearson correlation coefficient to measure the strength and direction of the relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted. Our goal was to unearth any hidden patterns and connections, much like excavating buried treasure in a vast statistical terrain.

As we toiled away in the beacon of our academic lighthouse, we also performed a regression analysis to discern if changes in cheese consumption were associated with changes in patent grants. Our quest for clarity led us to the realm of p-values and confidence intervals, where we sought refuge from the statistical tempest, hoping to emerge with tangible evidence of correlation or sheer coincidence.

Furthermore, we harnessed the power of time-series analysis, mapping the fluctuations in both cheese consumption and patent grants across the decades. This allowed us to uncover temporal trends and patterns, akin to tracing the elusive footsteps of an elusive statistical yeti.

It is important to note that our research team remained vigilant against the perils of spurious correlations, exercising caution in our interpretations to avoid falling into the abyss of erroneous assumptions.

By the end of our methodological journey, we emerged from the statistical wilderness with our findings in tow, ready to share the tale of our cheese-infused odyssey with the wider academic community. Our methodology, though filled with whimsy and puns, remained steadfast in its commitment to rigor, ensuring that our research findings stood strong amid the gales of skepticism and curiosity.

As we present our findings, we invite fellow scholars to join us in savoring the unexpected mix of statistical analysis and cheesy revelations, for in the world of research, the most delightfully strange connections often lead to the most intriguing discoveries.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and USPTO .

For the time period 1990 to 2020, you found a correlation 0.9489335, r-squared of 0.9004748, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas."

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the illustrious realm of academic research, one might find oneself pondering the most peculiar of inquiries, such as the connection between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. While the average mind might consider this endeavor to be a mere flight of fancy, our inquisitive spirits and love for fromage propelled us to embark on this curious journey.
Cheese, often celebrated for its delectable taste and unmatched ability to enhance any culinary creation, holds a revered place in the hearts (and stomachs) of many. However, its potential influence on the innovative prowess of a nation has remained a topic largely unexplored. Conversely, patents stand as a testament to human ingenuity and technological advancement, representing the embodiment of pioneering ideas. Yet, who would have thought that a correlation between cheese consumption and patents could be anything more than a Gouda-ol' coincidence?
Inspired by the renowned saying, "It's not easy being cheesy," we sought to unravel the mysteries that lie within the statistical tapestry of cheese consumption and patent acquisition. Our study spanned a period of three decades, encompassing copious data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO). Through the diligent application of rigorous statistical methods and a healthy sprinkling of cheese puns, we unearthed a correlation that left us both bewildered and delightfully amused.
In unveiling a correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, accompanied by a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings surpassed all expectations, providing evidence that this relationship transcends mere happenstance. It seems that the aphorism "grate ideas" takes on an entirely new flavor, as we navigate through the labyrinth of data to uncover the unexpected alliance between cheese consumption and patented innovations.
Therefore, with our metaphorical lab coats donned and an array of specialty cheeses at the ready, we invite our esteemed colleagues to join us in exploring this intriguing association and perhaps discover a newfound appreciation for the lesser-known influences on the inventive spirit. After all, in the world of research, one must always be prepared for the unexpected, whether it involves hypotheses or a pleasingly gooey slice of American cheese.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]

ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our investigation into the correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted in the United States are nothing short of, dare I say, gouda-licious. The statistical analysis yielded a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, signifying a strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests that as American cheese consumption increases, so does the number of patents granted, much like the way a quality cheese fondue brings people together.

In addition to the impressive correlation coefficient, the r-squared value of 0.9004748 indicates that approximately 90.05% of the variation in the number of patents can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. This level of explained variation is quite remarkable and reminds one of the way artisanal cheeses unveil their unique flavors; in this case, the flavor of innovation seems to reach new heights when accompanied by the consumption of American cheese.

Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence that the observed correlation is not due to random chance. It appears that the association between American cheese consumption and patented innovations is as real as the tangy sharpness of a well-aged cheddar.

Pardon the indulgence, but the data are quite captivating. To illustrate this enchanting relationship visually, we present the scatterplot in Fig. 1. It unmistakably depicts the strong positive correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted, solidifying the notion that this connection is not just a mere queso of fate, but a legitimate phenomenon worthy of further exploration.

Alas, it seems that American cheese, often dismissed as merely a staple of convenience, may harbor an unexpected influence on the innovative spirit of the nation. This finding beckons us to reconsider the underestimated role of American cheese and invites a contemplation of its potential contribution to the proliferation of inventive ideas. After all, great ideas often come when we least expect them, much like finding a perfectly melted slice of American cheese on a burger.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas."

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The unexpected correlation between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States has sparked a range of inquiries across disciplines, inspiring a diverse array of research studies. Smith et al. (2015) posited that food consumption patterns, including cheese, may have indirect effects on cognitive function and creative thinking, potentially impacting inventive output. Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the societal and cultural dimensions of cheese consumption, suggesting that the communal experience of enjoying cheese may foster collaborative ideation and innovation within communities.
In "The Big Cheese: A Guide to the World of Cheese" by Smith, readers are treated to a comprehensive examination of cheese varieties, crafting techniques, and culinary applications, which may offer insights into the potential influences of American cheese consumption on inventive endeavors. Similarly, "The Cheese Lover's Companion" by Doe provides a fascinating exploration of the cultural significance of cheese, offering perspectives on how the communal enjoyment of cheese may contribute to a conducive atmosphere for creative thinking and patent acquisition.
Turning to the realm of fiction, the quirky board game "Say Cheese!: A Dairy Delight" has captivated enthusiasts with its playful depiction of cheese-themed challenges and trivia. While undoubtedly a source of entertainment, this game's whimsical approach to cheese-related activities may offer a lighthearted yet thought-provoking perspective on the potential impact of cheese-centric experiences on inventive endeavors. Moreover, in the novel "The Cheesy Conundrum" by Jones, a comedic tale of inventors and cheese aficionados intertwines, presenting an imaginative narrative that may inspire contemplation of the unexpected interplay between cheese consumption and patent acquisition.
It is evident that the uncharted terrain of cheese-related influences on inventive output has drawn the interest of scholars and enthusiasts alike, offering a rich tapestry of perspectives that stretch beyond conventional academic discourse. While the cheese may stand alone as a delectable culinary delight, its potential role in shaping the innovative landscape beckons further exploration, aiming to unravel the enigmatic links between cheese, inventive thinking, and patent acquisition.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation into the correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted in the United States are nothing short of, dare I say, gouda-licious. The statistical analysis yielded a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, signifying a strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests that as American cheese consumption increases, so does the number of patents granted, much like the way a quality cheese fondue brings people together.
In addition to the impressive correlation coefficient, the r-squared value of 0.9004748 indicates that approximately 90.05% of the variation in the number of patents can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. This level of explained variation is quite remarkable and reminds one of the way artisanal cheeses unveil their unique flavors; in this case, the flavor of innovation seems to reach new heights when accompanied by the consumption of American cheese.
Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence that the observed correlation is not due to random chance. It appears that the association between American cheese consumption and patented innovations is as real as the tangy sharpness of a well-aged cheddar.
Pardon the indulgence, but the data are quite captivating. To illustrate this enchanting relationship visually, we present the scatterplot in Fig. 1. It unmistakably depicts the strong positive correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted, solidifying the notion that this connection is not just a mere queso of fate, but a legitimate phenomenon worthy of further exploration.
Alas, it seems that American cheese, often dismissed as merely a staple of convenience, may harbor an unexpected influence on the innovative spirit of the nation. This finding beckons us to reconsider the underestimated role of American cheese and invites a contemplation of its potential contribution to the proliferation of inventive ideas. After all, great ideas often come when we least expect them, much like finding a perfectly melted slice of American cheese on a burger.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The connection we've unveiled between American cheese consumption and patents granted in the United States is nothing short of bewitching. Our findings not only corroborate but also elevate the previous research in this field of inquiry. Taking a leaf out of Smith et al. (2015) and their exploration of food consumption patterns' indirect effects on cognitive function and creative thinking, it's clear that our results fortify the notion that cheese consumption may well be a recipe for innovative success. It seems that the "big cheese" in the world of inventive ideas might just be the seemingly unassuming American cheese, surprising as that may be.

Doe and Jones (2018) introduced the notion of the communal experience of enjoying cheese fostering collaborative ideation and innovation within communities. In a similar vein, our investigation into American cheese consumption and patents granted aligns with this proposition, suggesting that this dairy delight could indeed be a catalyst for collaborative inventive endeavors. The cheesy conundrum of this research seems to be shaping up to be a fascinating journey of discovery and curiosity, much like the narrative presented by Jones in "The Cheesy Conundrum."

As we reflect on the results of our study, one cannot help but marvel at the profound implications of our findings. The statistically significant correlation coefficient and p-value leave us grate-ful for the opportunity to delve into the uncharted terrain of cheese-related influences on inventive output. Our exploration has shed light on a relationship that is as intriguing as it is unexpected, in much the same way as a surprisingly delectable cheese pairing.

In conclusion—well, not quite yet—our findings urge us to reconsider the role of American cheese in the landscape of innovation. From the subtle nuances of artisanal cheese to the tangy sharpness of well-aged cheddar, the influence of American cheese consumption on patented innovations appears to be a mozzarella of discovery. This revelation tantalizes the taste buds of our scientific curiosity and calls for further exploration into the flavor of innovation in the presence of American cheese. In the words of a true cheese lover, there may be more depth to American cheese than meets the eye, much like the hidden depths of a rich, complex brie.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between American cheese consumption and Patents granted in the US. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas."

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the illustrious realm of academic research, one might find oneself pondering the most peculiar of inquiries, such as the connection between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. While the average mind might consider this endeavor to be a mere flight of fancy, our inquisitive spirits and love for fromage propelled us to embark on this curious journey.
Cheese, often celebrated for its delectable taste and unmatched ability to enhance any culinary creation, holds a revered place in the hearts (and stomachs) of many. However, its potential influence on the innovative prowess of a nation has remained a topic largely unexplored. Conversely, patents stand as a testament to human ingenuity and technological advancement, representing the embodiment of pioneering ideas. Yet, who would have thought that a correlation between cheese consumption and patents could be anything more than a Gouda-ol' coincidence?
Inspired by the renowned saying, "It's not easy being cheesy," we sought to unravel the mysteries that lie within the statistical tapestry of cheese consumption and patent acquisition. Our study spanned a period of three decades, encompassing copious data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the United States Patent and Trademark Office (USPTO). Through the diligent application of rigorous statistical methods and a healthy sprinkling of cheese puns, we unearthed a correlation that left us both bewildered and delightfully amused.
In unveiling a correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, accompanied by a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings surpassed all expectations, providing evidence that this relationship transcends mere happenstance. It seems that the aphorism "grate ideas" takes on an entirely new flavor, as we navigate through the labyrinth of data to uncover the unexpected alliance between cheese consumption and patented innovations.
Therefore, with our metaphorical lab coats donned and an array of specialty cheeses at the ready, we invite our esteemed colleagues to join us in exploring this intriguing association and perhaps discover a newfound appreciation for the lesser-known influences on the inventive spirit. After all, in the world of research, one must always be prepared for the unexpected, whether it involves hypotheses or a pleasingly gooey slice of American cheese.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our investigation into the correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted in the United States are nothing short of, dare I say, gouda-licious. The statistical analysis yielded a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335, signifying a strong positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding suggests that as American cheese consumption increases, so does the number of patents granted, much like the way a quality cheese fondue brings people together.
In addition to the impressive correlation coefficient, the r-squared value of 0.9004748 indicates that approximately 90.05% of the variation in the number of patents can be explained by changes in American cheese consumption. This level of explained variation is quite remarkable and reminds one of the way artisanal cheeses unveil their unique flavors; in this case, the flavor of innovation seems to reach new heights when accompanied by the consumption of American cheese.
Furthermore, the p-value of less than 0.01 provides compelling evidence that the observed correlation is not due to random chance. It appears that the association between American cheese consumption and patented innovations is as real as the tangy sharpness of a well-aged cheddar.
Pardon the indulgence, but the data are quite captivating. To illustrate this enchanting relationship visually, we present the scatterplot in Fig. 1. It unmistakably depicts the strong positive correlation between American cheese consumption and patents granted, solidifying the notion that this connection is not just a mere queso of fate, but a legitimate phenomenon worthy of further exploration.
Alas, it seems that American cheese, often dismissed as merely a staple of convenience, may harbor an unexpected influence on the innovative spirit of the nation. This finding beckons us to reconsider the underestimated role of American cheese and invites a contemplation of its potential contribution to the proliferation of inventive ideas. After all, great ideas often come when we least expect them, much like finding a perfectly melted slice of American cheese on a burger.

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Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation into the association between American cheese consumption and patents granted in the United States has revealed a correlation that is as sharp as a well-aged cheddar. The remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 attest to a connection that is beyond the realm of coincidental curds and whey. It appears that the phrase "grate ideas" has taken on a whole new dimension, quite literally.

This research, while undoubtedly cheesy in nature, has uncovered a relationship between two seemingly unrelated variables that may prompt us to reconsider the unassuming influence of American cheese. As the saying goes, "gouda things come to those who wait," and it seems that the consumption of American cheese may indeed contribute to the cultivation of innovative ideas. This study offers a tantalizing glimpse into the potential sources of inspiration that lie hidden in the dairy aisle, reminding us that in the world of research, even the most unexpected factors may hold sway over human ingenuity.

Having unraveled the statistical tapestry that binds American cheese consumption and patents granted, we can confidently assert that no further investigation is needed in this area. It's time to say "cheese" and savor the unanticipated delights that stem from the world of statistical inquiry. After all, as researchers, we must always remember to brie prepared for the unexpected, whether it manifests as groundbreaking insights or a delightfully gooey slice of American cheese on a sandwich.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Gouda Gazette

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Dairy Innovation and Patent Excellence

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States with an abstract of In this study, we delve into the often overlooked relationship between American cheese consumption and the number of patents granted in the United States. By crunching the numbers from the USDA and USPTO over the span of three decades, we uncovered an unexpected correlation that leaves the research community both bemused and intrigued. Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9489335 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the link between these two seemingly unrelated factors is not just a cheesy coincidence. This paper sheds light on a curious connection that brings a whole new meaning to the phrase "grate ideas.

ChatGPT:

American cheese consumption, patents granted, correlation, United States, USDA, USPTO, relationship, research, correlation coefficient, p-value, statistics, data analysis, innovation, food industry, intellectual property

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.

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Data details

American cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of American cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with American cheese consumption

Patents granted in the US
Detailed data title: Total number of patents granted in the US
Source: USPTO
See what else correlates with Patents granted in the US

Correlation r = 0.9489335 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r² = 0.9004748 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 90% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Patents granted in the US) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., American cheese consumption) over the 31 years from 1990 through 2020.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.6E-16.^Show 0.0000000000000004552547406620
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme.^Note More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.95 in 4.6E-14% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 2,196,572,403,718,123 random variables^Note You don't actually need 2 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 30 degrees of freedom, ^Note Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 30 because we have two variables measured over a period of 31 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.9, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
^{Read more about the confidence interval} The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!

All values for the years included above: ^Note If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.

	1990	1991	1992	1993	1994	1995	1996	1997	1998	1999	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004	2005	2006	2007	2008	2009	2010	2011	2012	2013	2014	2015	2016	2017	2018	2019	2020
American cheese consumption (Pounds per person)	11.127	11.0335	11.2559	11.313	11.4237	11.6872	11.8087	11.8149	11.9784	12.6987	12.6839	12.8133	12.8314	12.5619	12.8612	12.649	13.0656	12.7929	13.1306	13.3553	13.3048	13.0392	13.2569	13.3573	13.6656	14.0444	14.3621	15.0901	15.4027	15.5389	15.5
Patents granted in the US (Patents granted)	99077	106696	107394	109746	113587	113834	121696	124069	163142	169085	175979	183970	184375	187012	181299	157718	196405	182899	185224	191927	244341	247713	276788	302948	326032	325980	333583	351403	339992	391103	388900

Why this works

Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
Lack of causal connection: There is probably^Note Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple^Note Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
Confounding variable: 2020 is particularly different from the other years on this graph. Confounding variables (like global pandemics) will cause two variables to look connected when in fact a "sneaky third" variable is influencing both of them behind the scenes.
Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. ^Note Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.

Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. ^{Show the steps to do this.} Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."

# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([11.127,11.0335,11.2559,11.313,11.4237,11.6872,11.8087,11.8149,11.9784,12.6987,12.6839,12.8133,12.8314,12.5619,12.8612,12.649,13.0656,12.7929,13.1306,13.3553,13.3048,13.0392,13.2569,13.3573,13.6656,14.0444,14.3621,15.0901,15.4027,15.5389,15.5,])
array_2 = np.array([99077,106696,107394,109746,113587,113834,121696,124069,163142,169085,175979,183970,184375,187012,181299,157718,196405,182899,185224,191927,244341,247713,276788,302948,326032,325980,333583,351403,339992,391103,388900,])
array_1_name = "American cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Patents granted in the US"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)

Reuseable content

You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. ^Note Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

Full license details.
For more on re-use permissions, or to get a signed release form, see tylervigen.com/permission.

Download images for these variables:

High resolution line chart ^Note The image linked here is a Scalable Vector Graphic (SVG). It is the highest resolution that is possible to achieve. It scales up beyond the size of the observable universe without pixelating. You do not need to email me asking if I have a higher resolution image. I do not. The physical limitations of our universe prevent me from providing you with an image that is any higher resolution than this one.

If you insert it into a PowerPoint presentation (a tool well-known for managing things that are the scale of the universe), you can right-click > "Ungroup" or "Create Shape" and then edit the lines and text directly. You can also change the colors this way.

Alternatively you can use a tool like Inkscape.
High resolution line chart, optimized for mobile
Alternative high resolution line chart
Scatterplot
Portable line chart (png)
Portable line chart (png), optimized for mobile
Line chart for only American cheese consumption
Line chart for only Patents granted in the US
AI-generated correlation image
The spurious research paper: Say Cheese! An Examination of the Correlation Between American Cheese Consumption and Patents Granted in the United States

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Correlation ID: 2196 · Black Variable ID: 553 · Red Variable ID: 848


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