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Spurious correlation #1,089 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Mercury and the second variable is Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the gravitational pull of Uranus shifts closer to Mercury, it disrupts the cosmic alignment that channels Rooney's soccer prowess. The interplanetary soccer spirits are thrown off, leading to a decrease in Rooney's goal-scoring abilities. It's a real celestial own goal for poor Wayne!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that encapsulates the concept of parallax art by creating the scene of a solar system, with the planets orbiting around the sun. In the center of the image, Uranus is tugging on a smaller planet, Mercury, slightly altering its orbit. Concurrently, a soccer field is visible with Wayne Rooney making a goal attempt. As the planets draw closer, the gravitational forces affect the trajectory of the ball, hindering Rooney's goal-scoring ability. The visual should be straightforward without any textual elements. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: The gravitational pull of Uranus disrupted the alignment of Mercury, causing a cosmic disturbance that affected Wayne Rooney's goal-scoring abilities. As the planets moved closer together, the energy required to propel the ball towards the net decreased, resulting in a proportional decrease in Rooney's goal-scoring prowess.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Concept art Art nouveau Low poly Parallax art inspired by bauhaus
ChatGPT: Parallax art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. The gravitational pull of Uranus disrupted the alignment of Mercury, causing a cosmic disturbance that affected Wayne Rooney's goal-scoring abilities. As the planets moved closer together, the energy required to propel the ball towards the net decreased, resulting in a proportional decrease in Rooney's goal-scoring prowess.
ChatGPT: Imagine a solar system with the planets orbiting around the sun. In the middle, Uranus is pulling one of the smaller planets, Mercury, slightly off its path, causing a disturbance in the orbit. As this is happening, we see a soccer field. Wayne Rooney is attempting to score a goal, but as the planets move closer together, the force required to kick the ball decreases and we see the ball not moving as far as it should, impacting Rooney's ability to score goals.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Parallax art ] and depicting this scene: Imagine a solar system with the planets orbiting around the sun. In the middle, Uranus is pulling one of the smaller planets, Mercury, slightly off its path, causing a disturbance in the orbit. As this is happening, we see a soccer field. Wayne Rooney is attempting to score a goal, but as the planets move closer together, the force required to kick the ball decreases and we see the ball not moving as far as it should, impacting Rooney's ability to score goals. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that encapsulates the concept of parallax art by creating the scene of a solar system, with the planets orbiting around the sun. In the center of the image, Uranus is tugging on a smaller planet, Mercury, slightly altering its orbit. Concurrently, a soccer field is visible with Wayne Rooney making a goal attempt. As the planets draw closer, the gravitational forces affect the trajectory of the ball, hindering Rooney's goal-scoring ability. The visual should be straightforward without any textual elements.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Uranus and Mercury caused Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League to decrease. Make it feel plausible.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

The Journal of Interplanetary Athletics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

In the annals of sporting history, few players have elicited as much awe and admiration as the legendary Wayne Rooney, whose prolific goal-scoring feats have become the stuff of football folklore. Meanwhile, the cosmos have long captivated the human imagination, with their vast expanse and celestial bodies inspiring wonder and curiosity. As such, delving into the interplay between these two seemingly disparate realms, we embark on an astoundingly peculiar yet thought-provoking journey to explore the connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.

As we navigate through the intertwined realms of astrophysics and athletic achievement, one cannot help but ponder the cosmic forces at play in influencing human endeavors. It seems that the celestial bodies may have more than just an "inflated" influence on our terrestrial pursuits.

Examining the data with meticulous precision, our research team has embarked on this expedition into uncharted territory, and the findings that have emerged truly "meteor" our expectations. The correlation unveiled is not just a mere coincidence but rather a compelling alignment of astral and sporting phenomena. It appears that the cosmos may indeed exert an unanticipated "gravity" on the performance of professional footballers, with Rooney serving as a prime celestial candidate for our inquiry.

Yet, as we unveil these astronomical correlations, we must exercise caution and humility in interpreting our findings. While the statistical link between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades is undeniably compelling, we tread a delicate balance between empirical evidence and the allure of cosmic serendipity. As the saying goes, "the stars have aligned" - and in this case, quite literally.

In light of these revelations, the implications of our study are nothing short of astronomical. It challenges the conventional boundaries of human achievement and prompts us to contemplate the mysterious interconnectedness of the universe. The culmination of these findings warrants further investigation and contemplation, as we grapple with the profound question: do the stars truly guide the destiny of our sporting heroes?


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then devolve ever further, and mention something completely ridiculous, like you conducted literature review by reading CVS receipts.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the annals of sporting history, few players have elicited as much awe and admiration as the legendary Wayne Rooney, whose prolific goal-scoring feats have become the stuff of football folklore. Meanwhile, the cosmos have long captivated the human imagination, with their vast expanse and celestial bodies inspiring wonder and curiosity. As such, delving into the interplay between these two seemingly disparate realms, we embark on an astoundingly peculiar yet thought-provoking journey to explore the connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.
As we navigate through the intertwined realms of astrophysics and athletic achievement, one cannot help but ponder the cosmic forces at play in influencing human endeavors. It seems that the celestial bodies may have more than just an "inflated" influence on our terrestrial pursuits.
Examining the data with meticulous precision, our research team has embarked on this expedition into uncharted territory, and the findings that have emerged truly "meteor" our expectations. The correlation unveiled is not just a mere coincidence but rather a compelling alignment of astral and sporting phenomena. It appears that the cosmos may indeed exert an unanticipated "gravity" on the performance of professional footballers, with Rooney serving as a prime celestial candidate for our inquiry.
Yet, as we unveil these astronomical correlations, we must exercise caution and humility in interpreting our findings. While the statistical link between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades is undeniably compelling, we tread a delicate balance between empirical evidence and the allure of cosmic serendipity. As the saying goes, "the stars have aligned" - and in this case, quite literally.
In light of these revelations, the implications of our study are nothing short of astronomical. It challenges the conventional boundaries of human achievement and prompts us to contemplate the mysterious interconnectedness of the universe. The culmination of these findings warrants further investigation and contemplation, as we grapple with the profound question: do the stars truly guide the destiny of our sporting heroes?

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The subject at hand, the correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League, has been the subject of much deliberation in both astrophysical and athletic circles. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a rigorous analysis of planetary distances and their potential impact on human endeavors, while Doe and Jones (2018) explored the psychological effects of celestial phenomena on individual performance.

In "The Planets" by Dava Sobel, the author delves into the mysteries of our solar system, providing a comprehensive overview of the celestial bodies and their influence on terrestrial affairs. Similarly, "Football Against the Odds" by James Taylor analyzes the extraordinary feats of footballers and their ability to defy statistical expectations.

Moving into the realm of fiction, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams presents a satirical exploration of interstellar travel and the absurdities of the cosmos. Furthermore, "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card delves into the implications of space warfare, offering a tangential yet intriguing perspective on celestial dynamics and their impact on human behavior.

In a more unconventional approach to sourcing relevant literature, the researchers perused a multitude of sources, including but not limited to supermarket tabloids, children's books on astronomy, and even the fine print of CVS receipts. This eclectic selection of reading material provided a unique and diversely entertaining perspective on the topic at hand.

By weaving together the insights gleaned from these disparate sources, the research team endeavors to offer a comprehensive and at times light-hearted examination of the cosmic conundrum at the intersection of Uranus, Mercury, and Wayne Rooney's goal-scoring galore.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia . You used data from 2003 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the annals of sporting history, few players have elicited as much awe and admiration as the legendary Wayne Rooney, whose prolific goal-scoring feats have become the stuff of football folklore. Meanwhile, the cosmos have long captivated the human imagination, with their vast expanse and celestial bodies inspiring wonder and curiosity. As such, delving into the interplay between these two seemingly disparate realms, we embark on an astoundingly peculiar yet thought-provoking journey to explore the connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.
As we navigate through the intertwined realms of astrophysics and athletic achievement, one cannot help but ponder the cosmic forces at play in influencing human endeavors. It seems that the celestial bodies may have more than just an "inflated" influence on our terrestrial pursuits.
Examining the data with meticulous precision, our research team has embarked on this expedition into uncharted territory, and the findings that have emerged truly "meteor" our expectations. The correlation unveiled is not just a mere coincidence but rather a compelling alignment of astral and sporting phenomena. It appears that the cosmos may indeed exert an unanticipated "gravity" on the performance of professional footballers, with Rooney serving as a prime celestial candidate for our inquiry.
Yet, as we unveil these astronomical correlations, we must exercise caution and humility in interpreting our findings. While the statistical link between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades is undeniably compelling, we tread a delicate balance between empirical evidence and the allure of cosmic serendipity. As the saying goes, "the stars have aligned" - and in this case, quite literally.
In light of these revelations, the implications of our study are nothing short of astronomical. It challenges the conventional boundaries of human achievement and prompts us to contemplate the mysterious interconnectedness of the universe. The culmination of these findings warrants further investigation and contemplation, as we grapple with the profound question: do the stars truly guide the destiny of our sporting heroes?

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection:
The data utilized in this study was meticulously collected from a variety of sources, including the celestial calculation library Astropy and the comprehensive online repository Wikipedia. Our research team embarked on an intergalactic journey through cyberspace, navigating through the digital cosmos to procure the requisite information pertaining to the distance between Uranus and Mercury, along with the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League from 2003 to 2021.

In a rather "stellar" feat of data wrangling, the distance between Uranus and Mercury was calculated utilizing complex astronomical algorithms and equations, taking into account the orbital dynamics, planetary positions, and cosmic perturbations. The precision of these calculations rivaled the meticulousness of a celestial symphony, harmonizing the celestial distances across time.

Dad Joke #1: Why was the math book sad? It had too many problems.

Furthermore, the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League was retrieved from various reliable online sources, capturing the zenith of his goal-scoring prowess and enabling the formulation of a comprehensive dataset that traced his meteoric trajectory on the football pitch.

Data Analysis:
Upon acquiring the celestial and athletic datasets, a rigorous analytical framework was employed to unravel the potential correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's goal-scoring performances. The correlation coefficient was calculated with mathematical precision, serving as a quantitative measure of the degree of association between these seemingly disparate variables.

To ensure the robustness of the findings, a series of statistical tests were conducted, including hypothesis testing to ascertain the significance of the observed correlation. The p-value was computed to evaluate the probability of obtaining such a correlation by chance, providing pivotal insights into the statistical significance of the results.

Dad Joke #2: I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.

The correlation analysis was complemented by a visual representation of the data, employing celestial visualizations juxtaposed with football-themed graphics, thereby elucidating the interplay between astral distances and earthly achievements in a visually captivating manner.

It is important to note that while these findings unearth a compelling correlation, the methodology employed remains anchored in empiricism and analytical rigor, ensuring the validity and reliability of the results. As with any stellar inquiry, the overarching goal is to unveil not just astronomical correlations, but methodological excellence that withstands the test of empirical scrutiny.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia .

For the time period 2003 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.7339783, r-squared of 0.5387241, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the annals of sporting history, few players have elicited as much awe and admiration as the legendary Wayne Rooney, whose prolific goal-scoring feats have become the stuff of football folklore. Meanwhile, the cosmos have long captivated the human imagination, with their vast expanse and celestial bodies inspiring wonder and curiosity. As such, delving into the interplay between these two seemingly disparate realms, we embark on an astoundingly peculiar yet thought-provoking journey to explore the connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.
As we navigate through the intertwined realms of astrophysics and athletic achievement, one cannot help but ponder the cosmic forces at play in influencing human endeavors. It seems that the celestial bodies may have more than just an "inflated" influence on our terrestrial pursuits.
Examining the data with meticulous precision, our research team has embarked on this expedition into uncharted territory, and the findings that have emerged truly "meteor" our expectations. The correlation unveiled is not just a mere coincidence but rather a compelling alignment of astral and sporting phenomena. It appears that the cosmos may indeed exert an unanticipated "gravity" on the performance of professional footballers, with Rooney serving as a prime celestial candidate for our inquiry.
Yet, as we unveil these astronomical correlations, we must exercise caution and humility in interpreting our findings. While the statistical link between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades is undeniably compelling, we tread a delicate balance between empirical evidence and the allure of cosmic serendipity. As the saying goes, "the stars have aligned" - and in this case, quite literally.
In light of these revelations, the implications of our study are nothing short of astronomical. It challenges the conventional boundaries of human achievement and prompts us to contemplate the mysterious interconnectedness of the universe. The culmination of these findings warrants further investigation and contemplation, as we grapple with the profound question: do the stars truly guide the destiny of our sporting heroes?

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of the data collected revealed a strong positive correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's performance in the English Premier League during the period 2003 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.7339783 suggested a moderately strong linear relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding provides intriguing insights into the potential influence of celestial configurations on terrestrial athletic achievements.

Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.5387241 indicated that approximately 53.87% of the variability in the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. This substantial proportion of variability elucidates the magnitude of the association and emphasizes the significance of these cosmic factors on Rooney's goal-scoring prowess.

Fig. 1 illustrates the scatterplot displaying the remarkably pronounced correlation between the two variables. The data points form a clear, upward-sloping pattern, demonstrating the compelling relationship observed in our analysis - a relationship that may leave one exclaiming, "It's not rocket science, it's astrological inspiration!"

As we marvel at the intriguing connection between planetary distances and athletic achievements, it is important to acknowledge the potential limitations of our study. While the statistical evidence supports the remarkable correlation, it remains imperative to approach these findings with caution and maintain a healthy skepticism. After all, we must not "planet" a premature conclusion based solely on statistical association - although in this case, the evidence may indeed be "celestial."

In conclusion, our research has unearthed a noteworthy correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. This peculiar yet compelling association challenges traditional notions of sporting prowess and begs the question: are the celestial bodies quietly shaping the destiny of our athletic heroes? Our study serves as a celestial call for further inquiry into the intersection of astral phenomena and human achievements, inviting us to ponder the cosmic forces that may influence our terrestrial pursuits.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The subject at hand, the correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League, has been the subject of much deliberation in both astrophysical and athletic circles. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a rigorous analysis of planetary distances and their potential impact on human endeavors, while Doe and Jones (2018) explored the psychological effects of celestial phenomena on individual performance.
In "The Planets" by Dava Sobel, the author delves into the mysteries of our solar system, providing a comprehensive overview of the celestial bodies and their influence on terrestrial affairs. Similarly, "Football Against the Odds" by James Taylor analyzes the extraordinary feats of footballers and their ability to defy statistical expectations.
Moving into the realm of fiction, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams presents a satirical exploration of interstellar travel and the absurdities of the cosmos. Furthermore, "Ender's Game" by Orson Scott Card delves into the implications of space warfare, offering a tangential yet intriguing perspective on celestial dynamics and their impact on human behavior.
In a more unconventional approach to sourcing relevant literature, the researchers perused a multitude of sources, including but not limited to supermarket tabloids, children's books on astronomy, and even the fine print of CVS receipts. This eclectic selection of reading material provided a unique and diversely entertaining perspective on the topic at hand.
By weaving together the insights gleaned from these disparate sources, the research team endeavors to offer a comprehensive and at times light-hearted examination of the cosmic conundrum at the intersection of Uranus, Mercury, and Wayne Rooney's goal-scoring galore.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the data collected revealed a strong positive correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's performance in the English Premier League during the period 2003 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.7339783 suggested a moderately strong linear relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding provides intriguing insights into the potential influence of celestial configurations on terrestrial athletic achievements.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.5387241 indicated that approximately 53.87% of the variability in the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. This substantial proportion of variability elucidates the magnitude of the association and emphasizes the significance of these cosmic factors on Rooney's goal-scoring prowess.
Fig. 1 illustrates the scatterplot displaying the remarkably pronounced correlation between the two variables. The data points form a clear, upward-sloping pattern, demonstrating the compelling relationship observed in our analysis - a relationship that may leave one exclaiming, "It's not rocket science, it's astrological inspiration!"
As we marvel at the intriguing connection between planetary distances and athletic achievements, it is important to acknowledge the potential limitations of our study. While the statistical evidence supports the remarkable correlation, it remains imperative to approach these findings with caution and maintain a healthy skepticism. After all, we must not "planet" a premature conclusion based solely on statistical association - although in this case, the evidence may indeed be "celestial."
In conclusion, our research has unearthed a noteworthy correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. This peculiar yet compelling association challenges traditional notions of sporting prowess and begs the question: are the celestial bodies quietly shaping the destiny of our athletic heroes? Our study serves as a celestial call for further inquiry into the intersection of astral phenomena and human achievements, inviting us to ponder the cosmic forces that may influence our terrestrial pursuits.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

In line with prior research on the influence of celestial phenomena on human endeavors, our study revealed a significant positive correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. This finding supports the work of Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018), who explored the potential impact of planetary distances on human performance. It seems that Rooney's stellar performances may indeed have been influenced, albeit indirectly, by the positioning of celestial bodies in our solar system. The heavenly bodies appear to have transmitted their energy to Rooney, fueling his goal-scoring exploits in the earthly realm.

While the correlation may strike some as an astronomical oddity, it underscores the complex interplay between cosmic alignments and human achievements. The statistically significant relationship between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring prowess challenges conventional perceptions of athletic excellence and prompts us to consider the broader forces at play in the world of professional football.

Echoing the cautionary advice of previous scholars, we must emphasize that correlation does not imply causation. Nonetheless, the robust statistical evidence, with a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783 and an r-squared value of 0.5387241, suggests a tangible association between these seemingly disparate variables. This finding further solidifies the notion that while the distance between Uranus and Mercury may not directly cause Rooney to score goals, it undeniably coincides with his impressive on-field performances.

The scatterplot depicting the correlation between the planetary distance and Rooney's goal-scoring exploits presents a compelling narrative. The data points align in a manner that might lead one to exclaim, "It's not just the alignment of the stars, it's the alignment of the goals!" The remarkable coherence observed in the data points serves as a vivid testament to the intriguing relationship uncovered in our analysis.

In taking a lighthearted yet astutely serious approach to the literature review, we were able to draw inspiration from sources as diverse as "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and children's books on astronomy - sources that, in their own way, allude to the intertwining of the cosmic and the quotidian. Through this unconventional research lens, we endeavored to shed light on the whimsical yet profound connections between celestial dynamics and human endeavors, and the unanticipated alignment of Rooney's scoring prowess with the distance between Uranus and Mercury aptly illustrates this cosmic conundrum.

As we ponder the implications of our findings, we must maintain a scientific rigor and resist the temptation to leap to grand astronomical conclusions. Nevertheless, the evidence at hand undeniably "planetes" the seed for further exploration at the intersection of athletic prowess and celestial dynamics. After all, in the cosmic dance of the planets, it seems that Rooney's performances were, in their own way, a goal-den alignment of celestial and terrestrial forces.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.

However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.

Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the annals of sporting history, few players have elicited as much awe and admiration as the legendary Wayne Rooney, whose prolific goal-scoring feats have become the stuff of football folklore. Meanwhile, the cosmos have long captivated the human imagination, with their vast expanse and celestial bodies inspiring wonder and curiosity. As such, delving into the interplay between these two seemingly disparate realms, we embark on an astoundingly peculiar yet thought-provoking journey to explore the connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the goal-scoring prowess of Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League.
As we navigate through the intertwined realms of astrophysics and athletic achievement, one cannot help but ponder the cosmic forces at play in influencing human endeavors. It seems that the celestial bodies may have more than just an "inflated" influence on our terrestrial pursuits.
Examining the data with meticulous precision, our research team has embarked on this expedition into uncharted territory, and the findings that have emerged truly "meteor" our expectations. The correlation unveiled is not just a mere coincidence but rather a compelling alignment of astral and sporting phenomena. It appears that the cosmos may indeed exert an unanticipated "gravity" on the performance of professional footballers, with Rooney serving as a prime celestial candidate for our inquiry.
Yet, as we unveil these astronomical correlations, we must exercise caution and humility in interpreting our findings. While the statistical link between planetary distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades is undeniably compelling, we tread a delicate balance between empirical evidence and the allure of cosmic serendipity. As the saying goes, "the stars have aligned" - and in this case, quite literally.
In light of these revelations, the implications of our study are nothing short of astronomical. It challenges the conventional boundaries of human achievement and prompts us to contemplate the mysterious interconnectedness of the universe. The culmination of these findings warrants further investigation and contemplation, as we grapple with the profound question: do the stars truly guide the destiny of our sporting heroes?

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the data collected revealed a strong positive correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's performance in the English Premier League during the period 2003 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.7339783 suggested a moderately strong linear relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. This finding provides intriguing insights into the potential influence of celestial configurations on terrestrial athletic achievements.
Furthermore, the r-squared value of 0.5387241 indicated that approximately 53.87% of the variability in the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. This substantial proportion of variability elucidates the magnitude of the association and emphasizes the significance of these cosmic factors on Rooney's goal-scoring prowess.
Fig. 1 illustrates the scatterplot displaying the remarkably pronounced correlation between the two variables. The data points form a clear, upward-sloping pattern, demonstrating the compelling relationship observed in our analysis - a relationship that may leave one exclaiming, "It's not rocket science, it's astrological inspiration!"
As we marvel at the intriguing connection between planetary distances and athletic achievements, it is important to acknowledge the potential limitations of our study. While the statistical evidence supports the remarkable correlation, it remains imperative to approach these findings with caution and maintain a healthy skepticism. After all, we must not "planet" a premature conclusion based solely on statistical association - although in this case, the evidence may indeed be "celestial."
In conclusion, our research has unearthed a noteworthy correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. This peculiar yet compelling association challenges traditional notions of sporting prowess and begs the question: are the celestial bodies quietly shaping the destiny of our athletic heroes? Our study serves as a celestial call for further inquiry into the intersection of astral phenomena and human achievements, inviting us to ponder the cosmic forces that may influence our terrestrial pursuits.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has unveiled a remarkable correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. This unexpected intersection of celestial distances and athletic prowess provides a celestial whisper of mystery in the realm of football statistics. It's almost as if Rooney's goals were written in the stars—or at least in the orbital paths of distant planets!

As with any surprising correlation, caution is warranted in drawing definitive conclusions. While the statistical evidence is compelling, we must resist the temptation to jump to astronomical assumptions about the causative mechanisms at play. After all, correlation does not imply causation—although in this case, one might say Rooney's goal-scoring spree was truly the "result of a cosmic connection!"

Our findings raise thought-provoking questions about the mysterious interplay between cosmic phenomena and human achievement. While this correlation may seem otherworldly, it challenges us to reconsider the influences that shape athletic success. It's as if the universe itself decided to assist Rooney in finding the back of the net—perhaps a case of "planetary predestination" in action.

Given the intriguing nature of our findings, it is tempting to contemplate the significant reach of astral forces in the terrestrial domain of professional football. Nonetheless, it is essential to approach these revelations with skepticism, even if they are truly "out of this world."

In the light of these celestial insights, it appears that our research has "scored" an unexpected celestial goal in shedding light on this cosmic conundrum. Thus, it is with purely astronomical certainty that we assert the need for no further research in this area; the universe has spoken, and its correlation cannot be denied.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Interplanetary Athletics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Planetary Dynamics and Athletic Performance Research Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Scoring Goals and Planetary Poles: A Correlative Analysis of the Distance Between Uranus and Mercury and Wayne Rooney's Performance in the English Premier League with an abstract of This paper delves into the enigmatic relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the prolific goal-scoring prowess of the venerable Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League. Utilizing data meticulously gathered from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team embarked on a mission to unravel this cosmic conundrum. Astonishingly, we unearthed a correlation coefficient of 0.7339783, with a statistically significant p-value of < 0.01 for the time period spanning from 2003 to 2021. It's safe to say that our findings have certainly "planet"ed the seed for further exploration.
However, as with any good research, cautious optimism must prevail. While the connection between celestial distances and Rooney's goal-scoring escapades appears robust, we mustn't jump to astronomical conclusions just yet. Furthermore, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation - although, in this case, it may imply "astrological inspiration" for Rooney's performances.
Overall, this study sheds light on a paradigm-shifting juxtaposition of astral alignments and athletic excellence, prompting us to reconsider the influential forces at play in the world of professional football. As the saying goes, "the sky's the limit" - or in this case, perhaps, "the planetary distance from Uranus to Mercury" is the limit.

ChatGPT:

Wayne Rooney, English Premier League, Uranus distance, Mercury distance, correlation analysis, celestial distances, goal-scoring performance, astrological influence, professional football, astronomical correlations, Astropy, Wikipedia, planetary alignment, paradigm-shifting analysis

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Uranus and Mercury
Detailed data title: The average distance between Uranus and Mercury as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Uranus and Mercury

Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League
Source: Wikipedia
See what else correlates with Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League

Correlation r = 0.7339783 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.5387241 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 53.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Uranus and Mercury) over the 19 years from 2003 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.00035. 0.0003470664234909971000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.73 in 0.035% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 2,881 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 18 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 18 because we have two variables measured over a period of 19 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.42, 0.89 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
2003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
The distance between Uranus and Mercury (Planetary distance (AU))19.979620.024420.061120.084420.091520.103220.093920.105220.111920.122220.102420.080420.053320.005119.985719.959819.941419.897619.8571
Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League (Goals scored)69111614121226112712171285101151




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([19.9796,20.0244,20.0611,20.0844,20.0915,20.1032,20.0939,20.1052,20.1119,20.1222,20.1024,20.0804,20.0533,20.0051,19.9857,19.9598,19.9414,19.8976,19.8571,])
array_2 = np.array([6,9,11,16,14,12,12,26,11,27,12,17,12,8,5,10,11,5,1,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Uranus and Mercury"
array_2_name = "Number of goals scored by Wayne Rooney in the English Premier League"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1089 · Black Variable ID: 1956 · Red Variable ID: 80
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