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Spurious correlation #4,400 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the second variable is The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the air quality improved, postal service machine operators found it easier to take deep breaths, leading to a state of zen-like relaxation. Unable to muster the necessary hustle and bustle, they made the peaceful career switch to meditation instructors, spreading postal peace and delivering tranquility one 'om' at a time.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a serene scene set in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where former postal service machine operators are leading meditation sessions in a tranquil environment. The setting is infused with cyberpunk elements, with neon lights and futuristic technology subtly integrated into the serene landscape. The operators and the surroundings should radiate a sense of peace and contentment, visually representing their transition to becoming meditation instructors. The image should capture the juxtaposition of the calm atmosphere and the cyberpunk aesthetic. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Concept art Cubism Low poly Cyberpunk Futuristic
ChatGPT: Cyberpunk

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts, in the following situation: As the air quality improved, postal service machine operators found it easier to take deep breaths, leading to a state of zen-like relaxation. Unable to muster the necessary hustle and bustle, they made the peaceful career switch to meditation instructors, spreading postal peace and delivering tranquility one 'om' at a time.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a serene setting in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, the air becomes cleaner and brighter as pollution levels drop. Amid this calm atmosphere, former postal service machine operators are seen, practicing meditation and leading relaxing sessions amongst the tranquil environment. With each deep breath, they radiate a sense of peace and contentment, exemplifying a new chapter for these individuals who have now transitioned to becoming meditation instructors, delivering tranquility and serenity through their every 'om'.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cyberpunk ] and depicting this scene: In a serene setting in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, the air becomes cleaner and brighter as pollution levels drop. Amid this calm atmosphere, former postal service machine operators are seen, practicing meditation and leading relaxing sessions amongst the tranquil environment. With each deep breath, they radiate a sense of peace and contentment, exemplifying a new chapter for these individuals who have now transitioned to becoming meditation instructors, delivering tranquility and serenity through their every 'om'. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a serene scene set in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where former postal service machine operators are leading meditation sessions in a tranquil environment. The setting is infused with cyberpunk elements, with neon lights and futuristic technology subtly integrated into the serene landscape. The operators and the surroundings should radiate a sense of peace and contentment, visually representing their transition to becoming meditation instructors. The image should capture the juxtaposition of the calm atmosphere and the cyberpunk aesthetic.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts caused The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

The Journal of Ecological Limericks

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9200240 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Air pollution is no joke, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun unraveling its tangled web of connections. With a breath of fresh air in the world of research, we shift our focus to Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where the air pollution levels have raised some eyebrows and lifted some nose hairs. This unconventional investigation aims to blow away any doubts about the link between air pollution and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts – a correlation that's as clear as a foggy day in a busy city.

Now, you might be thinking, "What in the world does air pollution have to do with postal service machine operators?" Well, hold onto your stamped envelopes, because this seemingly mismatched pair is about to deliver a statistical surprise that will leave you saying, "Air's a story with an unexpected twist!"

As any good research endeavor goes, we delved into the nitty-gritty data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics. Armed with spreadsheets, calculators, and a passion for uncovering hidden patterns, we sifted through years of information, seeking that golden nugget of statistical treasure.

With a correlation coefficient peaking like a particularly enthusiastic mail carrier at 0.9200240, and a p-value smaller than the font size on your prescription pill bottle, we found ourselves stationed on the front porch of an intriguing mystery. The numbers don't lie, and neither do we – the connection between air pollution and postal service machine operators is one that can't simply be swept under the rug, no matter how dusty that rug might be.

So, buckle up and fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a bumpy ride through the winds of environmental research. In this paper, we will unfold the story of how a seemingly unrelated duo became entangled in a web of statistical significance, proving that even the most unexpected connections can paint a clearer picture of our world. Welcome to the air pollution and postal solution – where science meets surprise!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Air pollution is no joke, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun unraveling its tangled web of connections. With a breath of fresh air in the world of research, we shift our focus to Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where the air pollution levels have raised some eyebrows and lifted some nose hairs. This unconventional investigation aims to blow away any doubts about the link between air pollution and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts – a correlation that's as clear as a foggy day in a busy city.
Now, you might be thinking, "What in the world does air pollution have to do with postal service machine operators?" Well, hold onto your stamped envelopes, because this seemingly mismatched pair is about to deliver a statistical surprise that will leave you saying, "Air's a story with an unexpected twist!"
As any good research endeavor goes, we delved into the nitty-gritty data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics. Armed with spreadsheets, calculators, and a passion for uncovering hidden patterns, we sifted through years of information, seeking that golden nugget of statistical treasure.
With a correlation coefficient peaking like a particularly enthusiastic mail carrier at 0.9200240, and a p-value smaller than the font size on your prescription pill bottle, we found ourselves stationed on the front porch of an intriguing mystery. The numbers don't lie, and neither do we – the connection between air pollution and postal service machine operators is one that can't simply be swept under the rug, no matter how dusty that rug might be.
So, buckle up and fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a bumpy ride through the winds of environmental research. In this paper, we will unfold the story of how a seemingly unrelated duo became entangled in a web of statistical significance, proving that even the most unexpected connections can paint a clearer picture of our world. Welcome to the air pollution and postal solution – where science meets surprise!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

Smith et al. (2015) conducted a comprehensive study on the impact of air pollution on occupational health in urban areas, unearthing a wealth of information on the detrimental effects of breathing in a concoction of pollutants akin to a toxic soup. While their focus was not specifically on postal service workers, their findings shed light on the potential health risks associated with prolonged exposure to polluted air, leaving us to wonder if those postal service machine operators are feeling the heavy burden of breathing the city's polluted symphony.

Doe and Jones (2018) explored the economic implications of air quality on various industries, uncovering hidden costs and unforeseen benefits of clean air initiatives. Though their research did not explicitly discern the impact on postal service machine operators, it sparks the imagination to ponder how clean air might affect the performance of those clunky postal machines- perhaps smoother operations and fewer hiccups in the mail-stream?

Turning now to more general works, "Air Pollution and Public Health" by Clean & Breath (2010) provides an in-depth analysis of the widespread consequences of air pollution, offering insights into the potential trickle-down effects on various occupations, including the honorable task of handling the nation's mail with diligence and care.

In the realm of fiction, "The Air Affair" by F. Forster (2001) presents a whimsical take on a world where air pollution becomes the central conflict, intertwining the lives of postmen and women with the air they breathe. While this novel may not offer scientific evidence, it sparks creativity and encourages us to view the world through a different lens, or perhaps a gas mask in this case.

Meanwhile, movies such as "The Air Strikes Back" and "The Postal Delivery of Oz" have subtly woven the themes of air pollution and postal services into their plot lines, reminding us that sometimes the most unexpected connections can bring a breath of fresh air to our understanding of the world.

As we sift through this assortment of literature and media, it becomes apparent that the link between air pollution and postal service machine operators is not as far-fetched as it may initially seem. So, with a nod to both fact and the fantastical, we embark on our journey to untangle this web of environmental intrigue.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Air pollution is no joke, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun unraveling its tangled web of connections. With a breath of fresh air in the world of research, we shift our focus to Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where the air pollution levels have raised some eyebrows and lifted some nose hairs. This unconventional investigation aims to blow away any doubts about the link between air pollution and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts – a correlation that's as clear as a foggy day in a busy city.
Now, you might be thinking, "What in the world does air pollution have to do with postal service machine operators?" Well, hold onto your stamped envelopes, because this seemingly mismatched pair is about to deliver a statistical surprise that will leave you saying, "Air's a story with an unexpected twist!"
As any good research endeavor goes, we delved into the nitty-gritty data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics. Armed with spreadsheets, calculators, and a passion for uncovering hidden patterns, we sifted through years of information, seeking that golden nugget of statistical treasure.
With a correlation coefficient peaking like a particularly enthusiastic mail carrier at 0.9200240, and a p-value smaller than the font size on your prescription pill bottle, we found ourselves stationed on the front porch of an intriguing mystery. The numbers don't lie, and neither do we – the connection between air pollution and postal service machine operators is one that can't simply be swept under the rug, no matter how dusty that rug might be.
So, buckle up and fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a bumpy ride through the winds of environmental research. In this paper, we will unfold the story of how a seemingly unrelated duo became entangled in a web of statistical significance, proving that even the most unexpected connections can paint a clearer picture of our world. Welcome to the air pollution and postal solution – where science meets surprise!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Oh, the places we went and the hoops we jumped through to unearth the hidden connection between air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts! Our methodological journey was nothing short of an adventure – a statistical quest that would make even the most seasoned researcher raise an eyebrow in awe.

First, we rolled up our sleeves and dug deep into the treasure troves of data provided by the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). We combed through data from 2003 to 2022, wrapping our analytical minds around a spectrum of numbers that could make even the most ardent mathematics enthusiast break a sweat. Armed with spreadsheets and our wits, we hunkered down, ready to unravel the enigmatic dance between air quality and postal efficiency.

Now, the nitty-gritty details of our methodological escapade might resemble a dizzying maze of statistical techniques and convoluted calculations, but fear not – we'll guide you through this labyrinth with the finesse of a master cartographer.

Our first courageous step was to conduct a rigorous analysis of air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, utilizing the EPA's air quality index and historical pollutant concentration data. From high-flying ozone to pesky particulate matter, we ventured into the atmospheric abyss, disentangling the intricate web of pollutants hovering over the pristine landscapes of Barnstable. Armed with data, we weathered the storm of statistical tests, ensuring that our air pollution measurements were as solid as an oxygen molecule.

Next, we set our sights on the lively realm of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. We dove headfirst into the BLS's occupational employment statistics, uncovering the ebb and flow of this industrious workforce. With deft precision, we examined the employment trends, casting our net wide to capture the essence of postal service machinery wizardry.

Like a pair of detectives solving a whimsical case, we employed advanced statistical models to unravel the hidden relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. We donned our Sherlock Holmes hats and dusted off our trusty magnifying glasses, eager to decode the enigmatic correlation that lay beneath the surface.

Our analysis, guided by the sage whisperings of statistical significance, led us to the striking revelation of a correlation coefficient that soared into the statistical stratosphere at 0.9200240. As if that weren't enough, our p-value winked at us with a mischievous sparkle, confidently asserting its significance at the impressive level of less than 0.01. Oh, the delight of uncovering a captivating statistical tale!

In the end, our methodological odyssey delivered a resounding success – a statistical revelation that would make even the most stoic mathematician crack a smile. So, grab your calculators and fasten your seatbelts, for our findings are about to take you on a wild ride through the winds of scientific discovery. Welcome to the delightful dance of data, where even the most unexpected connections pirouette into the spotlight of statistical significance!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9200240, r-squared of 0.8464441, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Air pollution is no joke, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun unraveling its tangled web of connections. With a breath of fresh air in the world of research, we shift our focus to Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where the air pollution levels have raised some eyebrows and lifted some nose hairs. This unconventional investigation aims to blow away any doubts about the link between air pollution and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts – a correlation that's as clear as a foggy day in a busy city.
Now, you might be thinking, "What in the world does air pollution have to do with postal service machine operators?" Well, hold onto your stamped envelopes, because this seemingly mismatched pair is about to deliver a statistical surprise that will leave you saying, "Air's a story with an unexpected twist!"
As any good research endeavor goes, we delved into the nitty-gritty data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics. Armed with spreadsheets, calculators, and a passion for uncovering hidden patterns, we sifted through years of information, seeking that golden nugget of statistical treasure.
With a correlation coefficient peaking like a particularly enthusiastic mail carrier at 0.9200240, and a p-value smaller than the font size on your prescription pill bottle, we found ourselves stationed on the front porch of an intriguing mystery. The numbers don't lie, and neither do we – the connection between air pollution and postal service machine operators is one that can't simply be swept under the rug, no matter how dusty that rug might be.
So, buckle up and fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a bumpy ride through the winds of environmental research. In this paper, we will unfold the story of how a seemingly unrelated duo became entangled in a web of statistical significance, proving that even the most unexpected connections can paint a clearer picture of our world. Welcome to the air pollution and postal solution – where science meets surprise!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our data analysis unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.9200240 between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. If this correlation were any stronger, it might just blow the roof off the nearest post office - a connection so solid, it could carry parcels and research papers alike!

The relationship between these variables was not a mere statistical fluke, with an r-squared value of 0.8464441 and a p-value smaller than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postal service machine operators, the writing is not just on the wall, but also in our scatterplot (Fig. 1) - a visual testament to the unmissable connection between these seemingly disparate elements.

The strength of this correlation, much like a gust of wind on a hazy day, cannot be ignored. Our findings point to a clear relationship that demands attention and further investigation. Just as a package needs the proper postage, our results need to be stamped with significance in the scientific community.

So, there you have it, folks - a breath of fresh air in the world of research, where unexpected connections can unravel into a web of statistical intrigue. It's a reminder that in the tangled mess of data, there's always room for a surprise waiting to be unwrapped, much like a long-lost letter finally making its way home.

In conclusion, the air pollution and postal service machine operator connection is not just a delivery of statistical significance; it's a revelation that reminds us to keep our minds open to unexpected correlations, even in the most unlikely of places.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Smith et al. (2015) conducted a comprehensive study on the impact of air pollution on occupational health in urban areas, unearthing a wealth of information on the detrimental effects of breathing in a concoction of pollutants akin to a toxic soup. While their focus was not specifically on postal service workers, their findings shed light on the potential health risks associated with prolonged exposure to polluted air, leaving us to wonder if those postal service machine operators are feeling the heavy burden of breathing the city's polluted symphony.
Doe and Jones (2018) explored the economic implications of air quality on various industries, uncovering hidden costs and unforeseen benefits of clean air initiatives. Though their research did not explicitly discern the impact on postal service machine operators, it sparks the imagination to ponder how clean air might affect the performance of those clunky postal machines- perhaps smoother operations and fewer hiccups in the mail-stream?
Turning now to more general works, "Air Pollution and Public Health" by Clean & Breath (2010) provides an in-depth analysis of the widespread consequences of air pollution, offering insights into the potential trickle-down effects on various occupations, including the honorable task of handling the nation's mail with diligence and care.
In the realm of fiction, "The Air Affair" by F. Forster (2001) presents a whimsical take on a world where air pollution becomes the central conflict, intertwining the lives of postmen and women with the air they breathe. While this novel may not offer scientific evidence, it sparks creativity and encourages us to view the world through a different lens, or perhaps a gas mask in this case.
Meanwhile, movies such as "The Air Strikes Back" and "The Postal Delivery of Oz" have subtly woven the themes of air pollution and postal services into their plot lines, reminding us that sometimes the most unexpected connections can bring a breath of fresh air to our understanding of the world.
As we sift through this assortment of literature and media, it becomes apparent that the link between air pollution and postal service machine operators is not as far-fetched as it may initially seem. So, with a nod to both fact and the fantastical, we embark on our journey to untangle this web of environmental intrigue.

[[RESULTS]]
Our data analysis unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.9200240 between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. If this correlation were any stronger, it might just blow the roof off the nearest post office - a connection so solid, it could carry parcels and research papers alike!
The relationship between these variables was not a mere statistical fluke, with an r-squared value of 0.8464441 and a p-value smaller than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postal service machine operators, the writing is not just on the wall, but also in our scatterplot (Fig. 1) - a visual testament to the unmissable connection between these seemingly disparate elements.
The strength of this correlation, much like a gust of wind on a hazy day, cannot be ignored. Our findings point to a clear relationship that demands attention and further investigation. Just as a package needs the proper postage, our results need to be stamped with significance in the scientific community.
So, there you have it, folks - a breath of fresh air in the world of research, where unexpected connections can unravel into a web of statistical intrigue. It's a reminder that in the tangled mess of data, there's always room for a surprise waiting to be unwrapped, much like a long-lost letter finally making its way home.
In conclusion, the air pollution and postal service machine operator connection is not just a delivery of statistical significance; it's a revelation that reminds us to keep our minds open to unexpected correlations, even in the most unlikely of places.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have uncorked a bottle of statistical lightning, demonstrating a robust connection between air pollution in Barnstable Town and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. This discovery not only raises eyebrows but also raises the question: what on earth could be the mechanism behind this seemingly surreal relationship?

Returning to our whimsical literature review, we cautiously doff our caps to the observation that postal service machine operators may potentially bear the weight of the polluted symphony they inhale daily. This tongue-in-cheek consideration has blossomed into a tangibly supportive finding, reinforcing the notion that prolonged exposure to air pollution may indeed impact the occupational distribution of these diligent workers. While the sea of air pollution isn't exactly smooth sailing, our results suggest that it could be shaping the occupational landscape more than previously anticipated.

Furthermore, our results support the economic implications of air quality on various industries, presenting evidence of a surprising correspondence between air pollution levels and the number of postal service machine operators. While we confess that the idea of clean air leading to smoother machine operations elicits a chuckle, our results lend credence to the notion that environmental factors might truly hold a grip on the employment patterns in this particular occupational sector.

Drawing from more general works, our findings align with the notion that the ripple effects of air pollution could indeed extend to the occupational domain, where the interconnectedness of clean air initiatives and the employment of postal service machine operators seems to have taken root in an unexpectedly clear association, much like the rooting of a seed in fertile soil.

In conclusion, our results seem to be an unanticipated package in the mail of environmental research, containing evidence that demands a closer inspection of the relationship between air pollution and the occupational distribution of postal service machine operators. As researchers, we stand at the doorstep of revelation, poised to delve deeper into the labyrinthine connections between seemingly unrelated variables and perhaps uncover more surprising associations - it's an enigma that can't just be stamped "address unknown."


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Air pollution is no joke, but that doesn't mean we can't have a little fun unraveling its tangled web of connections. With a breath of fresh air in the world of research, we shift our focus to Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, where the air pollution levels have raised some eyebrows and lifted some nose hairs. This unconventional investigation aims to blow away any doubts about the link between air pollution and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts – a correlation that's as clear as a foggy day in a busy city.
Now, you might be thinking, "What in the world does air pollution have to do with postal service machine operators?" Well, hold onto your stamped envelopes, because this seemingly mismatched pair is about to deliver a statistical surprise that will leave you saying, "Air's a story with an unexpected twist!"
As any good research endeavor goes, we delved into the nitty-gritty data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics. Armed with spreadsheets, calculators, and a passion for uncovering hidden patterns, we sifted through years of information, seeking that golden nugget of statistical treasure.
With a correlation coefficient peaking like a particularly enthusiastic mail carrier at 0.9200240, and a p-value smaller than the font size on your prescription pill bottle, we found ourselves stationed on the front porch of an intriguing mystery. The numbers don't lie, and neither do we – the connection between air pollution and postal service machine operators is one that can't simply be swept under the rug, no matter how dusty that rug might be.
So, buckle up and fasten your seatbelts, because we're about to take a bumpy ride through the winds of environmental research. In this paper, we will unfold the story of how a seemingly unrelated duo became entangled in a web of statistical significance, proving that even the most unexpected connections can paint a clearer picture of our world. Welcome to the air pollution and postal solution – where science meets surprise!

[[RESULTS]]
Our data analysis unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.9200240 between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. If this correlation were any stronger, it might just blow the roof off the nearest post office - a connection so solid, it could carry parcels and research papers alike!
The relationship between these variables was not a mere statistical fluke, with an r-squared value of 0.8464441 and a p-value smaller than the chances of finding a needle in a haystack. It seems that when it comes to air pollution and postal service machine operators, the writing is not just on the wall, but also in our scatterplot (Fig. 1) - a visual testament to the unmissable connection between these seemingly disparate elements.
The strength of this correlation, much like a gust of wind on a hazy day, cannot be ignored. Our findings point to a clear relationship that demands attention and further investigation. Just as a package needs the proper postage, our results need to be stamped with significance in the scientific community.
So, there you have it, folks - a breath of fresh air in the world of research, where unexpected connections can unravel into a web of statistical intrigue. It's a reminder that in the tangled mess of data, there's always room for a surprise waiting to be unwrapped, much like a long-lost letter finally making its way home.
In conclusion, the air pollution and postal service machine operator connection is not just a delivery of statistical significance; it's a revelation that reminds us to keep our minds open to unexpected correlations, even in the most unlikely of places.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]
In conclusion, our research has blown away any doubts about the connection between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. It's more than just a curious correlation – it's a statistical bond that cannot be airbrushed out of the picture. Our findings have delivered a breath of fresh air in the world of environmental research, where unexpected connections can unravel into a web of intrigue, much like a tangled ball of yarn revealing a purr-fectly hidden path.

So, where do we go from here? We would assert, with unwavering certainty, that no further research is needed in this area. The results are as clear as a blue sky on a pollution-free day – the connection between air pollution in Barnstable Town and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts is a package deal, delivered with statistical significance and a comedic twist. If science were a joke, this correlation would be the punchline – unexpected, engaging, and leaving us all grinning like a Cheshire cat.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Ecological Limericks


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Center for Environmental Limericks and Postal Puzzles


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Air Pollution and Postal Solution: A Rhyming Connection in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts with an abstract of This research investigates the potential relationship between air pollution levels in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts and the number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Labor Statistics spanning the years 2003 to 2022, our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9200240, with a p-value of less than 0.01. While the airtight connection between these seemingly unrelated variables may seem like a stretch of the imagination, our analysis demonstrates a clear link that cannot be swept under the rug. So, hold on to your hats, as we unravel this seemingly air-resistible mystery and deliver an unexpected twist in the breath of fresh air that is environmental research.

ChatGPT:

air pollution, postal service machine operators, Barnstable Town, Massachusetts, environmental protection agency data, Bureau of Labor Statistics, correlation coefficient, p-value, Massachusetts air pollution levels, postal workers, environmental research

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts
Detailed data title: Percentage of days with air quality at 'unhealthy for sensitive groups' or worse in Barnstable Town, MA
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts

The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of postal service mail sorters, processors, and processing machine operators in Massachusetts
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts

Correlation r = 0.9200240 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8464441 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 9.5E-9. 0.0000000094844629387449200000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 9.5E-7% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 105,435,596 random variables You don't actually need 105 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.81, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts (Bad air quality days)0.1038960.04564320.07725320.06995890.06866950.03347280.01687760.02621720.01090910.02713180.012698400.01261830.002762430.01396650.011111100.005698010.008356550
The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts (Laborers)70806720641060605800528045003880390037903380338032403250335030703030315032703600




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.
  5. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([0.103896,0.0456432,0.0772532,0.0699589,0.0686695,0.0334728,0.0168776,0.0262172,0.0109091,0.0271318,0.0126984,0,0.0126183,0.00276243,0.0139665,0.0111111,0,0.00569801,0.00835655,0,])
array_2 = np.array([7080,6720,6410,6060,5800,5280,4500,3880,3900,3790,3380,3380,3240,3250,3350,3070,3030,3150,3270,3600,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Barnstable Town, Massachusetts"
array_2_name = "The number of postal service machine operators in Massachusetts"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 4400 · Black Variable ID: 21896 · Red Variable ID: 9503
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