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Spurious correlation #2,726 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Saturn and Mars and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx.  The chart goes from 2007 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the planets moved closer, it created a celestial clearance event, leading to a feeling of cosmic chaos. Customers couldn't planet shop effectively, leaving them spacey and dissatisfied. It's a real check-out of this world experience.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate a whimsical scene inspired by Skyrim, where a group of happy customers decked out in space-themed outfits marvel at the vibrant displays in a TJ Maxx store. In the background, set against the night sky, Saturn looms closer while Mars shines in the distance. Capture the joy and wonder of the customers as they explore the colorful spectacles in the foreground, contrasting with the awe-inspiring celestial bodies above. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Low poly Oragami A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s A black-and-white newspaper illustration A scene from Skyrim
ChatGPT: A scene from Skyrim

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: A group of happy customers at TJ Maxx marvel at colorful displays while wearing space-themed outfits. In the background, Saturn and Mars are visible, with Saturn closer and Mars farther away in the night sky.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A scene from Skyrim ] and depicting this scene: A group of happy customers at TJ Maxx marvel at colorful displays while wearing space-themed outfits. In the background, Saturn and Mars are visible, with Saturn closer and Mars farther away in the night sky. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate a whimsical scene inspired by Skyrim, where a group of happy customers decked out in space-themed outfits marvel at the vibrant displays in a TJ Maxx store. In the background, set against the night sky, Saturn looms closer while Mars shines in the distance. Capture the joy and wonder of the customers as they explore the colorful spectacles in the foreground, contrasting with the awe-inspiring celestial bodies above.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Saturn and Mars caused Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.05)
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

Interstellar Retail Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and American Customer Satisfaction Index to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.5359833 and p < 0.05 for 2007 to 2020.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The study of consumer behavior has traversed many fields, but the intersection of retail satisfaction with celestial phenomena is a relatively uncharted territory. As researchers, we often aim for groundbreaking insights, but in this study, we take this statement quite literally. With statistical rigor and a sprinkle of stardust, we investigate the connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx.

Now, onto the delightful art of statistics. Like the orbits of celestial bodies, data points can often revolve around each other, seeking harmony. As we embark on this astral adventure in retail economics, we hope to shed light not only on the gravitational pull of celestial bodies but also on the pull of shoppers towards discounted goods. And speaking of pulls, it's almost as if these findings can be described as 'out-of-this-world'!

The analysis of our findings suggests that as the distance between Saturn and Mars varies, so does the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's as if the planets are not just aligning, but also influencing the shopping experiences of eager customers. Tackling the correlation between space and retail may seem like quite the astronomical task, and our findings prove that it's not just a phase.

Statistically speaking, our results reveal a significant correlation, reaching a coefficient that is simply stellar. It's almost as if the gravitational pull of Saturn and Mars is reflected in the data, drawing a parallel with the way consumers are gravitated towards great deals at TJ Maxx. It's like the statistical equivalent of a cosmic dance between two variables.

As we navigate through uncharted territory, it's important to stay grounded while aiming for the stars. Our findings are not just informative but also bring a sense of cosmic wonder to the world of retail economics. After all, who would have thought that the movements of planets could have such an impact on our shopping experiences? It's almost as if the secrets of customer satisfaction were written in the stars. And that's no small feat; it's a phenomenon of galactic proportions!

We step into a new realm, where the realm of retail is intertwined with the movements of celestial bodies. Our findings beckon retailers to look to the heavens for insights while reminding us that in the vast expanse of the cosmos, the influence of celestial mechanics may reach further than we ever imagined. It's definitely a case of taking science to the checkout counter!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then cite some social media posts you read that seem to be related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The study of consumer behavior has traversed many fields, but the intersection of retail satisfaction with celestial phenomena is a relatively uncharted territory. As researchers, we often aim for groundbreaking insights, but in this study, we take this statement quite literally. With statistical rigor and a sprinkle of stardust, we investigate the connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx.
Now, onto the delightful art of statistics. Like the orbits of celestial bodies, data points can often revolve around each other, seeking harmony. As we embark on this astral adventure in retail economics, we hope to shed light not only on the gravitational pull of celestial bodies but also on the pull of shoppers towards discounted goods. And speaking of pulls, it's almost as if these findings can be described as 'out-of-this-world'!
The analysis of our findings suggests that as the distance between Saturn and Mars varies, so does the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's as if the planets are not just aligning, but also influencing the shopping experiences of eager customers. Tackling the correlation between space and retail may seem like quite the astronomical task, and our findings prove that it's not just a phase.
Statistically speaking, our results reveal a significant correlation, reaching a coefficient that is simply stellar. It's almost as if the gravitational pull of Saturn and Mars is reflected in the data, drawing a parallel with the way consumers are gravitated towards great deals at TJ Maxx. It's like the statistical equivalent of a cosmic dance between two variables.
As we navigate through uncharted territory, it's important to stay grounded while aiming for the stars. Our findings are not just informative but also bring a sense of cosmic wonder to the world of retail economics. After all, who would have thought that the movements of planets could have such an impact on our shopping experiences? It's almost as if the secrets of customer satisfaction were written in the stars. And that's no small feat; it's a phenomenon of galactic proportions!
We step into a new realm, where the realm of retail is intertwined with the movements of celestial bodies. Our findings beckon retailers to look to the heavens for insights while reminding us that in the vast expanse of the cosmos, the influence of celestial mechanics may reach further than we ever imagined. It's definitely a case of taking science to the checkout counter!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Planetary Alignment and Consumer Behavior: A Statistical Analysis," Smith et al. delve into the intriguing relationship between planetary positions and customer preferences. Their study explores the impact of the alignment of Saturn and Mars on consumer behavior, uncovering a pattern that is as fascinating as it is unexpected. This planetary placement is no small matter; it turns out that it might just be the gravitational force behind consumer satisfaction levels.

Doe and colleagues, in "Galactic Influences on Retail: An Interstellar Perspective," take an in-depth look at the effects of celestial events on retail habits. By analyzing data from various retail chains and juxtaposing these with astronomical events, they bring to light the cosmic sway on earthly consumer decisions. It seems that the stars have more to do with shopping choices than meets the eye – or telescope.

Further supporting this cosmic connection, Jones et al., in "Astronomy of Bargain Hunting," examine the correlation between planetary distances and discounted retail environments. Their findings suggest a striking parallel between the cosmic dance of planets and the dance of eager shoppers around discount racks. It's almost like a retail 'big bang,' where the birth of stellar bargains creates a universe of consumer satisfaction.

Fictional works such as "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams and "Cosmos" by Carl Sagan offer imaginative perspectives on the vastness of the universe. While not directly related to retail economics, these works tantalizingly hint at the cosmic mysteries that may influence human behavior. It's as if the answer to the ultimate question of retail satisfaction really could be found in a literary intergalactic journey.

Now, diving into social media, a tweet from @StellarShopper reads, "Feeling nebulous about shopping today – maybe it's the planet positions! #RetailAstrology." This highlights a trend where consumers playfully attribute their shopping moods to celestial events, emphasizing a potential linkage between the ethereal and the earthly in retail satisfaction. It seems that even in the realm of social media, shoppers are reaching for the stars – quite literally!

In "The Martian" by Andy Weir and "Saturn Run" by John Sandford, the authors craft thrilling tales set on distant planets. Although these books are purely fictional, their emphasis on the allure and mystery of outer space invokes a sense of wonder and curiosity that may extend to how consumers approach the retail environment. It's almost as if the intrigue of space exploration could somehow translate to the exploration of store aisles.

The joke "Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? Because he needed space" seems strangely relevant here. Just as the astronaut needed space, it seems that customers, too, seek their own kind of space – aisle space, shelf space, or perhaps even planetary space – to find satisfaction in their shopping experiences. So, when it comes to understanding consumer behavior, it appears that distance really can make the heart grow fonder – and the wallet lighter!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 2007 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The study of consumer behavior has traversed many fields, but the intersection of retail satisfaction with celestial phenomena is a relatively uncharted territory. As researchers, we often aim for groundbreaking insights, but in this study, we take this statement quite literally. With statistical rigor and a sprinkle of stardust, we investigate the connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx.
Now, onto the delightful art of statistics. Like the orbits of celestial bodies, data points can often revolve around each other, seeking harmony. As we embark on this astral adventure in retail economics, we hope to shed light not only on the gravitational pull of celestial bodies but also on the pull of shoppers towards discounted goods. And speaking of pulls, it's almost as if these findings can be described as 'out-of-this-world'!
The analysis of our findings suggests that as the distance between Saturn and Mars varies, so does the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's as if the planets are not just aligning, but also influencing the shopping experiences of eager customers. Tackling the correlation between space and retail may seem like quite the astronomical task, and our findings prove that it's not just a phase.
Statistically speaking, our results reveal a significant correlation, reaching a coefficient that is simply stellar. It's almost as if the gravitational pull of Saturn and Mars is reflected in the data, drawing a parallel with the way consumers are gravitated towards great deals at TJ Maxx. It's like the statistical equivalent of a cosmic dance between two variables.
As we navigate through uncharted territory, it's important to stay grounded while aiming for the stars. Our findings are not just informative but also bring a sense of cosmic wonder to the world of retail economics. After all, who would have thought that the movements of planets could have such an impact on our shopping experiences? It's almost as if the secrets of customer satisfaction were written in the stars. And that's no small feat; it's a phenomenon of galactic proportions!
We step into a new realm, where the realm of retail is intertwined with the movements of celestial bodies. Our findings beckon retailers to look to the heavens for insights while reminding us that in the vast expanse of the cosmos, the influence of celestial mechanics may reach further than we ever imagined. It's definitely a case of taking science to the checkout counter!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the cosmic connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx, our methodology incorporated a pun-filled journey through astronomical data analysis and retail statistics. Our research team engaged in a celestial dance of data collection from the years 2007 to 2020, primarily sourcing information from the renowned and trusty resources of Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index. We embraced data like an astronaut embraces the vacuum of space, carefully selecting and verifying information to ensure the reliability of our findings.

Once we had our celestial and retail data in hand, we ventured into the statistical unknown, braving the meteor shower of numbers and equations. With the precision of an astronomer tracking a comet, we calculated the correlation coefficient between the distance from Saturn to Mars and the customer satisfaction index for TJ Maxx. Merging the world of economics with the wonders of the cosmos, we applied a variety of statistical analyses that would make even the most seasoned statistician starry-eyed.

Our method wasn't just about reaching for the stars; it also involved traversing through the statistical galaxy, navigating through regression models, and conducting hypothesis testing. With the finesse of a cosmonaut landing on a distant planet, we explored the relationship between our variables, aiming to uncover insights that were truly out of this world. We also employed advanced techniques to control for potential confounding variables, ensuring that our results shone as brightly as the constellations in the night sky.

As we delved deeper into the data, we couldn't help but marvel at the cosmic coincidence of our findings. The correlation coefficient that emerged mirrored the alignment of planets, reaching a significance level that would make even the most hardened skeptic do a double take. Our statistical methods weren't just about crunching numbers; they were about revealing the cosmic symphony of data points, each one singing the praises of our celestial-retail connection.

In navigating the interstellar landscape of statistical analysis, we sought to illuminate the intersection of planetary positions and customer contentment. Our methodology pushed the boundaries of traditional research, proving that when it comes to uncovering cosmic correlations in retail, statistical analysis is truly the final frontier. And just like the orbit of a planet, our methods revolved around precision, rigor, and the occasional space pun for good measure.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and American Customer Satisfaction Index .

For the time period 2007 to 2020, you found a correlation 0.5359833, r-squared of 0.2872781, and p < 0.05.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The study of consumer behavior has traversed many fields, but the intersection of retail satisfaction with celestial phenomena is a relatively uncharted territory. As researchers, we often aim for groundbreaking insights, but in this study, we take this statement quite literally. With statistical rigor and a sprinkle of stardust, we investigate the connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx.
Now, onto the delightful art of statistics. Like the orbits of celestial bodies, data points can often revolve around each other, seeking harmony. As we embark on this astral adventure in retail economics, we hope to shed light not only on the gravitational pull of celestial bodies but also on the pull of shoppers towards discounted goods. And speaking of pulls, it's almost as if these findings can be described as 'out-of-this-world'!
The analysis of our findings suggests that as the distance between Saturn and Mars varies, so does the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's as if the planets are not just aligning, but also influencing the shopping experiences of eager customers. Tackling the correlation between space and retail may seem like quite the astronomical task, and our findings prove that it's not just a phase.
Statistically speaking, our results reveal a significant correlation, reaching a coefficient that is simply stellar. It's almost as if the gravitational pull of Saturn and Mars is reflected in the data, drawing a parallel with the way consumers are gravitated towards great deals at TJ Maxx. It's like the statistical equivalent of a cosmic dance between two variables.
As we navigate through uncharted territory, it's important to stay grounded while aiming for the stars. Our findings are not just informative but also bring a sense of cosmic wonder to the world of retail economics. After all, who would have thought that the movements of planets could have such an impact on our shopping experiences? It's almost as if the secrets of customer satisfaction were written in the stars. And that's no small feat; it's a phenomenon of galactic proportions!
We step into a new realm, where the realm of retail is intertwined with the movements of celestial bodies. Our findings beckon retailers to look to the heavens for insights while reminding us that in the vast expanse of the cosmos, the influence of celestial mechanics may reach further than we ever imagined. It's definitely a case of taking science to the checkout counter!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of the data revealed a positively striking correlation between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. Our research found a correlation coefficient of 0.5359833, indicating a moderately strong relationship between these celestial distances and retail contentment. It's as if the cosmic dance of the planets has a direct influence on the shopping joy experienced by consumers, which is quite astronomical!

To put it in astronomical terms, this correlation is not merely a coincidence but rather a celestial phenomenon. It seems that when Saturn and Mars are snugly nestled or distantly apart in their orbits, the satisfaction levels of shoppers at TJ Maxx mirror these planetary movements. Our statistical analysis shows that this correlation is not just a random deviation but rather a data-driven alignment of galactic proportions.

Our findings are supported by additional statistical indicators, including an r-squared value of 0.2872781, signifying that approximately 28.73% of the variance in customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx can be attributed to the cosmic proximity of Saturn and Mars. This finding is truly out of this world!

The p-value of < 0.05 further solidifies our results, indicating that the observed correlation is unlikely to have occurred by mere chance. It's as if statistical significance has traveled from the far reaches of the universe to validate our cosmic retail connection. Our findings encourage us to look beyond just the earthbound factors and embrace the cosmic interplay of variables at play.

In Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates the unmistakable pattern of the correlation between these celestial distances and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. The data points seem to twinkle like stars in the night sky, forming a clear trend that affirms the influence of Saturn and Mars on the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. It's a correlation that truly reaches for the stars – quite literally!

In conclusion, our research has unveiled a remarkable correlation between the celestial distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's a discovery that not only broadens our understanding of retail economics but also invites a cosmic perspective on consumer behavior. As we navigate through this celestial retail realm, we are reminded that the universe holds more influence over our shopping experiences than we might have previously pondered. It's a retail revelation that truly echoes throughout the cosmos!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Planetary Alignment and Consumer Behavior: A Statistical Analysis," Smith et al. delve into the intriguing relationship between planetary positions and customer preferences. Their study explores the impact of the alignment of Saturn and Mars on consumer behavior, uncovering a pattern that is as fascinating as it is unexpected. This planetary placement is no small matter; it turns out that it might just be the gravitational force behind consumer satisfaction levels.
Doe and colleagues, in "Galactic Influences on Retail: An Interstellar Perspective," take an in-depth look at the effects of celestial events on retail habits. By analyzing data from various retail chains and juxtaposing these with astronomical events, they bring to light the cosmic sway on earthly consumer decisions. It seems that the stars have more to do with shopping choices than meets the eye – or telescope.
Further supporting this cosmic connection, Jones et al., in "Astronomy of Bargain Hunting," examine the correlation between planetary distances and discounted retail environments. Their findings suggest a striking parallel between the cosmic dance of planets and the dance of eager shoppers around discount racks. It's almost like a retail 'big bang,' where the birth of stellar bargains creates a universe of consumer satisfaction.
Fictional works such as "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams and "Cosmos" by Carl Sagan offer imaginative perspectives on the vastness of the universe. While not directly related to retail economics, these works tantalizingly hint at the cosmic mysteries that may influence human behavior. It's as if the answer to the ultimate question of retail satisfaction really could be found in a literary intergalactic journey.
Now, diving into social media, a tweet from @StellarShopper reads, "Feeling nebulous about shopping today – maybe it's the planet positions! #RetailAstrology." This highlights a trend where consumers playfully attribute their shopping moods to celestial events, emphasizing a potential linkage between the ethereal and the earthly in retail satisfaction. It seems that even in the realm of social media, shoppers are reaching for the stars – quite literally!
In "The Martian" by Andy Weir and "Saturn Run" by John Sandford, the authors craft thrilling tales set on distant planets. Although these books are purely fictional, their emphasis on the allure and mystery of outer space invokes a sense of wonder and curiosity that may extend to how consumers approach the retail environment. It's almost as if the intrigue of space exploration could somehow translate to the exploration of store aisles.
The joke "Why did the astronaut break up with his girlfriend? Because he needed space" seems strangely relevant here. Just as the astronaut needed space, it seems that customers, too, seek their own kind of space – aisle space, shelf space, or perhaps even planetary space – to find satisfaction in their shopping experiences. So, when it comes to understanding consumer behavior, it appears that distance really can make the heart grow fonder – and the wallet lighter!

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data revealed a positively striking correlation between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. Our research found a correlation coefficient of 0.5359833, indicating a moderately strong relationship between these celestial distances and retail contentment. It's as if the cosmic dance of the planets has a direct influence on the shopping joy experienced by consumers, which is quite astronomical!
To put it in astronomical terms, this correlation is not merely a coincidence but rather a celestial phenomenon. It seems that when Saturn and Mars are snugly nestled or distantly apart in their orbits, the satisfaction levels of shoppers at TJ Maxx mirror these planetary movements. Our statistical analysis shows that this correlation is not just a random deviation but rather a data-driven alignment of galactic proportions.
Our findings are supported by additional statistical indicators, including an r-squared value of 0.2872781, signifying that approximately 28.73% of the variance in customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx can be attributed to the cosmic proximity of Saturn and Mars. This finding is truly out of this world!
The p-value of < 0.05 further solidifies our results, indicating that the observed correlation is unlikely to have occurred by mere chance. It's as if statistical significance has traveled from the far reaches of the universe to validate our cosmic retail connection. Our findings encourage us to look beyond just the earthbound factors and embrace the cosmic interplay of variables at play.
In Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates the unmistakable pattern of the correlation between these celestial distances and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. The data points seem to twinkle like stars in the night sky, forming a clear trend that affirms the influence of Saturn and Mars on the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. It's a correlation that truly reaches for the stars – quite literally!
In conclusion, our research has unveiled a remarkable correlation between the celestial distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's a discovery that not only broadens our understanding of retail economics but also invites a cosmic perspective on consumer behavior. As we navigate through this celestial retail realm, we are reminded that the universe holds more influence over our shopping experiences than we might have previously pondered. It's a retail revelation that truly echoes throughout the cosmos!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

In this discussion, we bring our gaze back to the astronomical correlation uncovered in the previous sections. Our findings undeniably support the prior research that hints at the cosmic sway on earthly consumer decisions. It's as if the gravitational pull of distant planets has a stellar effect on the terrestrial delight experienced in retail adventures. This correlation truly reaches for the stars on the cosmic retail stage.

The correlation coefficient of 0.5359833, akin to the rings of Saturn, encircles the depths of this celestial connection and p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05 adds a whole new dimension to statistical significance. Just as the astronomer's favorite spot in the house is the living room – because that's where all the action is! – our research shines a light on the retail cosmos and presents evidence that retail satisfaction levels possess a celestial rhythm influenced by the dance of planets.

Our results, with an r-squared value of 0.2872781, affirm that approximately 28.73% of the variance in customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx can be attributed to the cosmic proximity of Saturn and Mars, which is quite an astronomical influence. This finding is truly out of this world! It's as if the celestial bodies have conspired to reveal their influence on the experiences of eager shoppers.

The scatterplot in Fig. 1 twinkles like a star-studded night sky, depicting a clear trend that affirms the influence of Saturn and Mars on the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx, much like a retail constellation. It's a correlation that truly reaches for the stars – quite literally! Just like watching the stars fade as the earth revolves, consumer satisfaction at TJ Maxx seems to wax and wane with the cosmic dance of Saturn and Mars.

This retail revelation of cosmic proportions invites retailers and astronomers alike to join forces and explore the cosmic correlation that seems to hold sway over our shopping experiences. It's as if the universe itself is whispering its secrets through the aisles of retail spaces, and we have but to listen closely. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions! After all, when it comes to cosmic influences on retail satisfaction, the proof is in the celestial pudding.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Saturn and Mars and Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.

Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!

With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The study of consumer behavior has traversed many fields, but the intersection of retail satisfaction with celestial phenomena is a relatively uncharted territory. As researchers, we often aim for groundbreaking insights, but in this study, we take this statement quite literally. With statistical rigor and a sprinkle of stardust, we investigate the connection between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx.
Now, onto the delightful art of statistics. Like the orbits of celestial bodies, data points can often revolve around each other, seeking harmony. As we embark on this astral adventure in retail economics, we hope to shed light not only on the gravitational pull of celestial bodies but also on the pull of shoppers towards discounted goods. And speaking of pulls, it's almost as if these findings can be described as 'out-of-this-world'!
The analysis of our findings suggests that as the distance between Saturn and Mars varies, so does the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's as if the planets are not just aligning, but also influencing the shopping experiences of eager customers. Tackling the correlation between space and retail may seem like quite the astronomical task, and our findings prove that it's not just a phase.
Statistically speaking, our results reveal a significant correlation, reaching a coefficient that is simply stellar. It's almost as if the gravitational pull of Saturn and Mars is reflected in the data, drawing a parallel with the way consumers are gravitated towards great deals at TJ Maxx. It's like the statistical equivalent of a cosmic dance between two variables.
As we navigate through uncharted territory, it's important to stay grounded while aiming for the stars. Our findings are not just informative but also bring a sense of cosmic wonder to the world of retail economics. After all, who would have thought that the movements of planets could have such an impact on our shopping experiences? It's almost as if the secrets of customer satisfaction were written in the stars. And that's no small feat; it's a phenomenon of galactic proportions!
We step into a new realm, where the realm of retail is intertwined with the movements of celestial bodies. Our findings beckon retailers to look to the heavens for insights while reminding us that in the vast expanse of the cosmos, the influence of celestial mechanics may reach further than we ever imagined. It's definitely a case of taking science to the checkout counter!

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data revealed a positively striking correlation between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. Our research found a correlation coefficient of 0.5359833, indicating a moderately strong relationship between these celestial distances and retail contentment. It's as if the cosmic dance of the planets has a direct influence on the shopping joy experienced by consumers, which is quite astronomical!
To put it in astronomical terms, this correlation is not merely a coincidence but rather a celestial phenomenon. It seems that when Saturn and Mars are snugly nestled or distantly apart in their orbits, the satisfaction levels of shoppers at TJ Maxx mirror these planetary movements. Our statistical analysis shows that this correlation is not just a random deviation but rather a data-driven alignment of galactic proportions.
Our findings are supported by additional statistical indicators, including an r-squared value of 0.2872781, signifying that approximately 28.73% of the variance in customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx can be attributed to the cosmic proximity of Saturn and Mars. This finding is truly out of this world!
The p-value of < 0.05 further solidifies our results, indicating that the observed correlation is unlikely to have occurred by mere chance. It's as if statistical significance has traveled from the far reaches of the universe to validate our cosmic retail connection. Our findings encourage us to look beyond just the earthbound factors and embrace the cosmic interplay of variables at play.
In Fig. 1, our scatterplot illustrates the unmistakable pattern of the correlation between these celestial distances and customer satisfaction at TJ Maxx. The data points seem to twinkle like stars in the night sky, forming a clear trend that affirms the influence of Saturn and Mars on the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. It's a correlation that truly reaches for the stars – quite literally!
In conclusion, our research has unveiled a remarkable correlation between the celestial distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of customers at TJ Maxx. It's a discovery that not only broadens our understanding of retail economics but also invites a cosmic perspective on consumer behavior. As we navigate through this celestial retail realm, we are reminded that the universe holds more influence over our shopping experiences than we might have previously pondered. It's a retail revelation that truly echoes throughout the cosmos!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has illuminated a cosmic correlation between the distance separating Saturn and Mars and the satisfaction of patrons at TJ Maxx. It's as if the heavenly bodies are aligning to bring shopping delight to Earthlings. With a correlation coefficient that's truly celestial and a p-value that's as rare as a shooting star at < 0.05, we can confidently say that this correlation is not just a fly-by-night occurrence.

As we wrap up this study, let's not forget that the joke's on us for suggesting that planetary distance could impact retail satisfaction. After all, we're over the moon about this correlation, and we hope astronomers and retail analysts will join forces to further probe this cosmic connection.

In the words of Saturn to Mars, "Are you made of copper and tellurium? Because you're Cu-Te." It seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our retail choices than we previously thought. But with these findings, we assert that no more research is needed in this area. It's time to hang up our telescopes and cash in our retail therapy - this study has reached astronomical heights!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Interstellar Retail Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Extraterrestrial Economics and Market Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Planet to Purchase: Unraveling the Interstellar Influence on Retail Satisfaction with an abstract of The gravitational pull of celestial bodies and consumer satisfaction have long been an enigma in the field of retail economics. In this novel study, we endeavor to shed light on the perplexing relationship between the distance between Saturn and Mars and customer contentment with the beloved retail giant, TJ Maxx. Through meticulous analysis using data from Astropy and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, we calculate a correlation coefficient that is downright astronomical: 0.5359833, with a p-value that is out of this world at < 0.05.
Our results indicate a surprisingly significant connection between the astronomical distance and the stellar shopping experience at TJ Maxx. We also provide evidence supporting the theory that Saturn's rings and the discount racks at TJ Maxx share a similar allure. It seems that when Mars is closer to Saturn, customers are more likely to experience a sense of out-of-this-world satisfaction while bargain hunting at TJ Maxx. This correlation truly reaches for the stars!
With these findings, we encourage retailers to consider celestial events as potential influencers of consumer behavior. Additionally, we prompt astronomers and retail analysts alike to join forces to further explore this cosmic correlation. As we ponder the mysteries of the universe and consumer preferences, it seems that the cosmos may have more influence on our everyday choices than we previously thought. It's a retail revelation of astronomical proportions!

ChatGPT:

celestial bodies, retail satisfaction, interstellar influence, consumer behavior, astronomical distance, TJ Maxx, retail economics, Saturn and Mars correlation, consumer preferences, celestial events, retail analysis, Astropy, American Customer Satisfaction Index

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Saturn and Mars
Detailed data title: The average distance between Saturn and Mars as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Saturn and Mars

Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx

Correlation r = 0.5359833 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.2872781 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 28.7% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Saturn and Mars) over the 14 years from 2007 through 2020.

p < 0.05, which statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.048. 0.0481984579733704400000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.54 in 4.8% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 21 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 13 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 13 because we have two variables measured over a period of 14 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.01, 0.83 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020
The distance between Saturn and Mars (Planetary distance (AU))10.00778.2170610.22138.4463210.4868.7192710.75038.9723510.97499.1762711.1269.2909211.18519.30907
Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx (Consumer Satisfaction)7473787678767978788080797978




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([10.0077,8.21706,10.2213,8.44632,10.486,8.71927,10.7503,8.97235,10.9749,9.17627,11.126,9.29092,11.1851,9.30907,])
array_2 = np.array([74,73,78,76,78,76,79,78,78,80,80,79,79,78,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Saturn and Mars"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with TJ Maxx"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 2726 · Black Variable ID: 1950 · Red Variable ID: 19847
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