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Spurious correlation #2,263 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of ushers in Connecticut and the second variable is Jet fuel used in Japan.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

With fewer ushers in Connecticut, there's less need for them to *jet* around, leading to a decrease in international travel. As a result, there's a lower demand for jet fuel in Japan. Who would have thought that ushers in Connecticut had a role in fueling the skies over Japan? Those poor ushers must be feeling *plane* neglected these days.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that combines the cubism style with a modern airport scene in Japan. In this scene, a group of ushers is directing the flow of passengers to their respective gates within a bustling airport terminal. Meanwhile, outside on the tarmac, a plane is being refueled with jet fuel. The geometric shapes and fragmented forms of cubism should be incorporated to create a visually intriguing representation of this lively and dynamic setting. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cubism Surrealism Photorealism Charcoal Cubism
ChatGPT: Cubism

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a busy airport in Japan, a group of ushers is guiding passengers to their gates, while outside on the tarmac, a plane is being refueled with jet fuel.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cubism ] and depicting this scene: In a busy airport in Japan, a group of ushers is guiding passengers to their gates, while outside on the tarmac, a plane is being refueled with jet fuel. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that combines the cubism style with a modern airport scene in Japan. In this scene, a group of ushers is directing the flow of passengers to their respective gates within a bustling airport terminal. Meanwhile, outside on the tarmac, a plane is being refueled with jet fuel. The geometric shapes and fragmented forms of cubism should be incorporated to create a visually intriguing representation of this lively and dynamic setting.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The number of ushers in Connecticut caused Jet fuel used in Japan to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

The Unconventional Journal of Quirky Quantitative Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Energy Information Administration to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The intertwining saga of ushers in Connecticut and the sputtering jets of Japan has tantalized the intellectual palate of scholars and armchair statisticians alike. The curious dance between these seemingly incongruous variables has set the stage for a whimsical waltz through the annals of data analysis, inviting us to glimpse into the enigmatic web of global interconnectivity.

As our grand academic soiree unfolds, it is crucial to acknowledge the backdrop against which our research drama unfolds. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, akin to the steady metronome in an orchestral symphony, has dutifully recorded the ebb and flow of ushers' ranks in the Nutmeg State, while the Energy Information Administration, standing as a beacon amidst the mist of energy consumption data, has bestowed upon us the insights into Japan's insatiable appetite for jet fuel.

With bated breath, we present the capricious fruits of our endeavor, a carnival of numbers and correlations that will lay bare the undercurrents that intertwine the elegant ushers' curtsies in Connecticut with the fiery jets slicing through the skies of Japan.

Let us embark on this scholarly adventure with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of curiosity, for beneath the surface of these seemingly discordant variables lies a narrative waiting to unfold, begging us to read between the lines and decode the whimsical riddle of statistical serendipity.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intertwining saga of ushers in Connecticut and the sputtering jets of Japan has tantalized the intellectual palate of scholars and armchair statisticians alike. The curious dance between these seemingly incongruous variables has set the stage for a whimsical waltz through the annals of data analysis, inviting us to glimpse into the enigmatic web of global interconnectivity.
As our grand academic soiree unfolds, it is crucial to acknowledge the backdrop against which our research drama unfolds. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, akin to the steady metronome in an orchestral symphony, has dutifully recorded the ebb and flow of ushers' ranks in the Nutmeg State, while the Energy Information Administration, standing as a beacon amidst the mist of energy consumption data, has bestowed upon us the insights into Japan's insatiable appetite for jet fuel.
With bated breath, we present the capricious fruits of our endeavor, a carnival of numbers and correlations that will lay bare the undercurrents that intertwine the elegant ushers' curtsies in Connecticut with the fiery jets slicing through the skies of Japan.
Let us embark on this scholarly adventure with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of curiosity, for beneath the surface of these seemingly discordant variables lies a narrative waiting to unfold, begging us to read between the lines and decode the whimsical riddle of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The body of research on the intricate nexus between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan is, regrettably, rather scarce. Authors such as Smith and Doe have delved into the labyrinthine world of labor statistics and energy consumption, but their focus, regrettably, did not incline towards the charmingly enigmatic connection we endeavor to elucidate. However, Jones et al.'s "Quantitative Analysis of Employment Trends" provides an informative lens through which to peer into the realm of labor dynamics, even if it lacks the whimsical allure of our present investigation.

In "Jet Fuel Economics: A Comprehensive Overview" by Miles, the authors elucidate the multifarious factors that underpin the aviation industry, but, alas, the endearing allure of Connecticut's ushers fails to make an appearance in this weighty tome. Turning towards the realm of fiction, Ishiguro's "The Remains of the Day" offers a poignant exploration of duty and servitude, somewhat akin to the noble profession of ushering, albeit in a different temporal and geographic context. Furthermore, the ubiquitous "Monopoly" board game, replete with its iconic pewter ushers, presents a whimsical reflection of real-world labor dynamics, albeit in a highly stylized and monopolistic setting.

While the existing literature fails to directly address our delightfully idiosyncratic research focus, the evident absence of prior inquiry merely accentuates the singular and audacious nature of our endeavor. With earnest resolve and a liberal sprinkling of levity, we march forward to unravel the delightful conundrum that is the intertwining tale of Connecticut's ushers and Japan's jet fuel.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Energy Information Administration . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intertwining saga of ushers in Connecticut and the sputtering jets of Japan has tantalized the intellectual palate of scholars and armchair statisticians alike. The curious dance between these seemingly incongruous variables has set the stage for a whimsical waltz through the annals of data analysis, inviting us to glimpse into the enigmatic web of global interconnectivity.
As our grand academic soiree unfolds, it is crucial to acknowledge the backdrop against which our research drama unfolds. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, akin to the steady metronome in an orchestral symphony, has dutifully recorded the ebb and flow of ushers' ranks in the Nutmeg State, while the Energy Information Administration, standing as a beacon amidst the mist of energy consumption data, has bestowed upon us the insights into Japan's insatiable appetite for jet fuel.
With bated breath, we present the capricious fruits of our endeavor, a carnival of numbers and correlations that will lay bare the undercurrents that intertwine the elegant ushers' curtsies in Connecticut with the fiery jets slicing through the skies of Japan.
Let us embark on this scholarly adventure with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of curiosity, for beneath the surface of these seemingly discordant variables lies a narrative waiting to unfold, begging us to read between the lines and decode the whimsical riddle of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection:
The first step in our whimsical journey involved harvesting data on the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the volume of jet fuel consumed in Japan. We scavenged the internet, sifting through the virtual haystack to uncover the needle-like nuggets of information. Our primary sources of data, akin to the wise old sages of statistical lore, were the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration. We traversed the digital wilderness from the year 2003 to 2022, capturing the essence of these variables at strategic intervals like intrepid explorers mapping uncharted terrain.

Quantum Sampling:
Confronted with the perplexing task of capturing the elusive essence of ushers and jet fuel, we employed a sampling technique that bordered on the metaphysical. Applying the principles of quantum entanglement, we meticulously selected data points that resonated with the vibrations of statistical significance. Our sampling strategy, like a cosmic ballet of data points pirouetting through the fabric of space-time, aimed to encapsulate the essence of these variables without collapsing their wave functions prematurely.

Statistical Alchemy:
Once our trove of data was secured, we donned the mantle of statistical magicians, conjuring correlations and p-values with the dexterity of seasoned prestidigitators. Employing the mystical incantations of regression analysis, we sought to unveil the mystical bond between the humble ushers of Connecticut and the soaring jets of Japan. Our statistical incantations reverberated through the hallowed halls of academia, beckoning forth a robust correlation coefficient and a p-value of cosmic significance, opening the portal to scholarly intrigue and mathematical wonder.

Thermo-Dynamic Modeling:
To further illuminate the convoluted dance between ushers and jet fuel, we ventured into the realm of thermo-dynamic modeling. Like alchemists transmuting base metals into gold, we endeavored to distill the essence of these variables into a potent elixir of understanding. Our modeling efforts, akin to a scientific tango with uncertainty, sought to depict the complex interplay between the earthly manifestations of ushers and the ethereal consumption of jet fuel, painting a chiaroscuro of statistical beauty that tantalizes the intellect and tickles the fancy.

Mathematical Subterfuge:
As we traversed the labyrinth of statistical analysis, we employed a smattering of mathematical subterfuge to tease out the whimsical nuances of our findings. The esoteric arts of multivariate analysis and outlier detection became our trusty companions, guiding us through the treacherous terrain of number-crunching with the wisdom of ancient sages and the guile of mischievous jesters. Our mathematical capers, laced with a hint of irreverence, laid bare the surreptitious connections that underpin the seemingly disparate realms of ushers and jet fuel, inviting both reverence and the occasional chuckle from discerning scholars.

In summary, our methodology combined the tenacious spirit of exploration with the mischievous charm of statistical inquiry, encapsulating the whimsical essence of our endeavor in a tapestry woven with equal parts rigor and levity.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Energy Information Administration .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.7586597, r-squared of 0.5755645, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The intertwining saga of ushers in Connecticut and the sputtering jets of Japan has tantalized the intellectual palate of scholars and armchair statisticians alike. The curious dance between these seemingly incongruous variables has set the stage for a whimsical waltz through the annals of data analysis, inviting us to glimpse into the enigmatic web of global interconnectivity.
As our grand academic soiree unfolds, it is crucial to acknowledge the backdrop against which our research drama unfolds. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, akin to the steady metronome in an orchestral symphony, has dutifully recorded the ebb and flow of ushers' ranks in the Nutmeg State, while the Energy Information Administration, standing as a beacon amidst the mist of energy consumption data, has bestowed upon us the insights into Japan's insatiable appetite for jet fuel.
With bated breath, we present the capricious fruits of our endeavor, a carnival of numbers and correlations that will lay bare the undercurrents that intertwine the elegant ushers' curtsies in Connecticut with the fiery jets slicing through the skies of Japan.
Let us embark on this scholarly adventure with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of curiosity, for beneath the surface of these seemingly discordant variables lies a narrative waiting to unfold, begging us to read between the lines and decode the whimsical riddle of statistical serendipity.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our foray into the world of statistical whimsy unfurled a compelling correlation between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the jet fuel consumption in Japan. From 2003 to 2022, our keen-eyed analysis revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597, an r-squared value of 0.5755645, and a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling a robust relationship that cannot be dismissed as mere happenstance.

The startling link between these entities, while initially perplexing, invites us to ponder the implications of their interconnectedness. Fig. 1 showcases a scatterplot that captures this surprising correlation, appealing to both the data enthusiasts and the casual observers with its undeniable allure.

Through this revelatory exploration, we have uncovered a tangled web of statistical intrigue, weaving the narrative thread that binds the ushers of Connecticut and the jet fuel dynamics in Japan. Our findings beckon us to delve beneath the surface of seemingly disparate variables and appreciate the quirky symphony of statistical happenstance that underpins their relationship.

Let us embrace the befuddling dance of data and the whimsical twists of statistical fate, for within its folds may lie the keys to unlocking the enigmatic forces that shape our world.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The body of research on the intricate nexus between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan is, regrettably, rather scarce. Authors such as Smith and Doe have delved into the labyrinthine world of labor statistics and energy consumption, but their focus, regrettably, did not incline towards the charmingly enigmatic connection we endeavor to elucidate. However, Jones et al.'s "Quantitative Analysis of Employment Trends" provides an informative lens through which to peer into the realm of labor dynamics, even if it lacks the whimsical allure of our present investigation.
In "Jet Fuel Economics: A Comprehensive Overview" by Miles, the authors elucidate the multifarious factors that underpin the aviation industry, but, alas, the endearing allure of Connecticut's ushers fails to make an appearance in this weighty tome. Turning towards the realm of fiction, Ishiguro's "The Remains of the Day" offers a poignant exploration of duty and servitude, somewhat akin to the noble profession of ushering, albeit in a different temporal and geographic context. Furthermore, the ubiquitous "Monopoly" board game, replete with its iconic pewter ushers, presents a whimsical reflection of real-world labor dynamics, albeit in a highly stylized and monopolistic setting.
While the existing literature fails to directly address our delightfully idiosyncratic research focus, the evident absence of prior inquiry merely accentuates the singular and audacious nature of our endeavor. With earnest resolve and a liberal sprinkling of levity, we march forward to unravel the delightful conundrum that is the intertwining tale of Connecticut's ushers and Japan's jet fuel.

[[RESULTS]]
Our foray into the world of statistical whimsy unfurled a compelling correlation between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the jet fuel consumption in Japan. From 2003 to 2022, our keen-eyed analysis revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597, an r-squared value of 0.5755645, and a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling a robust relationship that cannot be dismissed as mere happenstance.
The startling link between these entities, while initially perplexing, invites us to ponder the implications of their interconnectedness. Fig. 1 showcases a scatterplot that captures this surprising correlation, appealing to both the data enthusiasts and the casual observers with its undeniable allure.
Through this revelatory exploration, we have uncovered a tangled web of statistical intrigue, weaving the narrative thread that binds the ushers of Connecticut and the jet fuel dynamics in Japan. Our findings beckon us to delve beneath the surface of seemingly disparate variables and appreciate the quirky symphony of statistical happenstance that underpins their relationship.
Let us embrace the befuddling dance of data and the whimsical twists of statistical fate, for within its folds may lie the keys to unlocking the enigmatic forces that shape our world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our study unveil a captivating connection between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, which may seem like an unlikely duo at first, but the data speaks for itself. Our results, with a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, provide robust support for the prior theories that hinted at the covert association between these two disparate variables.

In the vast expanse of existing literature, the dearth of attention to the bewitching world of usher populations and jet fuel consumption is truly lamentable. However, we find solace in the fact that Jones et al.'s "Quantitative Analysis of Employment Trends" and even the fictional realm of Ishiguro's "The Remains of the Day" offer glimpses of the thematic undercurrents that run parallel to our elucidation. But alas, the thrill of discovering a tangible correlation eluded the authors, leaving the enigmatic dance of data unexplored until now.

Our study not only reinforces the quantitative underpinnings of the Jones et al. and other works but also embarks on an unprecedented trek into the labyrinth of statistical whimsy, where the unexpected pairings and curious fusions of variables awaken both scholarly contemplation and a twinkle of amusement. The robust correlation coefficient and r-squared value underscore a formidable relationship that defies conventional intuition, prompting us to recognize the enchanting mysteries that may lie beneath the surface of seemingly unrelated phenomena.

As we stand on the precipice of statistical revelation, the scatterplot in Fig. 1 beckons us to see beyond the mundane and embrace the whimsical interplay of happenstance and association. In the delightful tango of statistical fate, the ushers of Connecticut and the jet fuel dynamics in Japan present a theatrical performance that invites both serious inquiry and a light-hearted appreciation for the capricious twists of statistical fate.

The quirks of statistical happenstance and the serendipitous revelations encased within deserve our rapt attention and playful amusement, for within this colorful tapestry of data lies the potential to uncover the unexpected forces that shape our world.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of ushers in Connecticut and Jet fuel used in Japan. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The intertwining saga of ushers in Connecticut and the sputtering jets of Japan has tantalized the intellectual palate of scholars and armchair statisticians alike. The curious dance between these seemingly incongruous variables has set the stage for a whimsical waltz through the annals of data analysis, inviting us to glimpse into the enigmatic web of global interconnectivity.
As our grand academic soiree unfolds, it is crucial to acknowledge the backdrop against which our research drama unfolds. The Bureau of Labor Statistics, akin to the steady metronome in an orchestral symphony, has dutifully recorded the ebb and flow of ushers' ranks in the Nutmeg State, while the Energy Information Administration, standing as a beacon amidst the mist of energy consumption data, has bestowed upon us the insights into Japan's insatiable appetite for jet fuel.
With bated breath, we present the capricious fruits of our endeavor, a carnival of numbers and correlations that will lay bare the undercurrents that intertwine the elegant ushers' curtsies in Connecticut with the fiery jets slicing through the skies of Japan.
Let us embark on this scholarly adventure with a sprinkle of humor and a dash of curiosity, for beneath the surface of these seemingly discordant variables lies a narrative waiting to unfold, begging us to read between the lines and decode the whimsical riddle of statistical serendipity.

[[RESULTS]]
Our foray into the world of statistical whimsy unfurled a compelling correlation between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the jet fuel consumption in Japan. From 2003 to 2022, our keen-eyed analysis revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597, an r-squared value of 0.5755645, and a p-value of less than 0.01, signaling a robust relationship that cannot be dismissed as mere happenstance.
The startling link between these entities, while initially perplexing, invites us to ponder the implications of their interconnectedness. Fig. 1 showcases a scatterplot that captures this surprising correlation, appealing to both the data enthusiasts and the casual observers with its undeniable allure.
Through this revelatory exploration, we have uncovered a tangled web of statistical intrigue, weaving the narrative thread that binds the ushers of Connecticut and the jet fuel dynamics in Japan. Our findings beckon us to delve beneath the surface of seemingly disparate variables and appreciate the quirky symphony of statistical happenstance that underpins their relationship.
Let us embrace the befuddling dance of data and the whimsical twists of statistical fate, for within its folds may lie the keys to unlocking the enigmatic forces that shape our world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation into the perplexing correlation between the number of ushers in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan has unveíled a captivating and unexpected relationship. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value less than 0.01 that emerged from our analysis raise more questions than answers, akin to the cliffhanger of a gripping mystery novel. While the world may seem chaotic and inexplicable at times, our findings remind us of the whimsical and often capricious nature of statistical correlations, eliciting both wonder and amusement.

This study suggests that the unseen threads of connectivity weave elaborate tapestries across the globe, connecting the courteous ushers in Connecticut to the high-flying pursuits of jet fuel in Japan. Our results beckon us to marvel at the unanticipated synergies that lurk within the annals of data, daring us to embrace the delightful dance of statistical serendipity.

Despite the compelling nature of our findings, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational studies. While our analysis has unearthed a thought-provoking association, it remains imperative to approach our conclusions with a tinge of scientific skepticism, garnished with a generous sprinkle of statistical humor.

In the spirit of academic camaraderie, we implore future scholars to continue exploring the interplay between seemingly unrelated variables, embarking on curious journeys that may reveal unforeseen connections, much like stumbling upon a hidden treasure in the labyrinth of statistics. However, for the time being, we declare that no further research is needed in this particular domain - for the delight of statistical whimsy is to be relished in moderation.

Let us bid adieu to our jolly jaunt through the world of statistical folly, until we rendezvous once more with the capricious capers of correlation and causation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Unconventional Journal of Quirky Quantitative Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Transcontinental Usher Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Counting Ushers in Connecticut: A Correlative Chronicle of Jet Fuel Jogging in Japan with an abstract of This study presents a meticulous investigation into the link between the number of ushers employed in Connecticut and the consumption of jet fuel in Japan, spanning the years 2003 to 2022. Leveraging data culled from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the Energy Information Administration, our research team sought to disentangle the enigmatic relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Through rigorous statistical analysis, a correlation coefficient of 0.7586597 and a p-value < 0.01 were derived, indicating a robust association worthy of scholarly scrutiny. Our findings, while perplexing at first glance, shed light on the interconnected nature of global phenomena and provoke further inquiry into the whimsical ways in which the fabric of the world may be woven. This paper aims to provoke both serious contemplation and lighthearted mirth as we delve into the befuddling dance of data, daring to draw uncommon connections and eliciting curiosity in the most unsuspecting of places.

ChatGPT:

Usher employment, Connecticut, jet fuel consumption, Japan, correlation, statistical analysis, global phenomena, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Energy Information Administration

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of ushers in Connecticut
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of ushers, lobby attendants, and ticket takers in Connecticut
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of ushers in Connecticut

Jet fuel used in Japan
Detailed data title: Volume of jet fuel used consumed in Japan in millions of barrels per day
Source: Energy Information Administration
See what else correlates with Jet fuel used in Japan

Correlation r = 0.7586597 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.5755645 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 57.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Jet fuel used in Japan) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of ushers in Connecticut) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.000106. 0.0001056019175969828200000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.76 in 0.0106% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 9,470 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.48, 0.9 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
The number of ushers in Connecticut (Laborers)93093010001210115011209607906906007901160114010508309701130750230660
Jet fuel used in Japan (Million Barrels/Day)212.896230.328227.088234.077228.096223.027198.244202.315194.668197.913219.115220.422222.233225.563232.693233.156239.937127.907133.986151.258




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.
  5. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([930,930,1000,1210,1150,1120,960,790,690,600,790,1160,1140,1050,830,970,1130,750,230,660,])
array_2 = np.array([212.896,230.328,227.088,234.077,228.096,223.027,198.244,202.315,194.668,197.913,219.115,220.422,222.233,225.563,232.693,233.156,239.937,127.907,133.986,151.258,])
array_1_name = "The number of ushers in Connecticut"
array_2_name = "Jet fuel used in Japan"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2263 · Black Variable ID: 6004 · Red Variable ID: 24576
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