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Spurious correlation #2,139 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Mars and the second variable is Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches.  The chart goes from 2004 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Vincent Kompany believes in astrological influences, and whenever Uranus gets too close to Mars, he feels a cosmic shift in his soccer abilities, making it harder for him to score goals.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image of a Discovery magazine cover featuring a stunning portrayal of outer space. In the background, Uranus and Mars are prominently displayed in their celestial splendor, surrounded by the dark vastness of space. In the foreground, set against the cosmic backdrop, a vibrant soccer field comes into view with Vincent Kompany energetically celebrating after scoring a series of goals. The image should evoke a sense of wonder as it seamlessly combines the magnificence of the universe with the thrill of sports achievement. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Woodblock painting Surrealism Art nouveau Macabre A Discovery magazine cover image
ChatGPT: A Discovery magazine cover image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In the vast expanse of outer space, Uranus and Mars float at a significant distance from each other. Meanwhile, on a vibrant soccer field, Vincent Kompany exuberantly celebrates after scoring a series of cumulative goals in numerous domestic matches.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A Discovery magazine cover image ] and depicting this scene: In the vast expanse of outer space, Uranus and Mars float at a significant distance from each other. Meanwhile, on a vibrant soccer field, Vincent Kompany exuberantly celebrates after scoring a series of cumulative goals in numerous domestic matches. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image of a Discovery magazine cover featuring a stunning portrayal of outer space. In the background, Uranus and Mars are prominently displayed in their celestial splendor, surrounded by the dark vastness of space. In the foreground, set against the cosmic backdrop, a vibrant soccer field comes into view with Vincent Kompany energetically celebrating after scoring a series of goals. The image should evoke a sense of wonder as it seamlessly combines the magnificence of the universe with the thrill of sports achievement.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Uranus and Mars caused Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars

The Journal of Astrological Athletics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01 for 2004 to 2020.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The cosmic dance of celestial bodies has long captivated the human imagination, captivating us with its mystique and wonder. Meanwhile, the world of sports, with its own blend of theatrics and athleticism, has enthralled millions with the thrill of competition and the joy of victory. In a curious twist of fate, these two seemingly disparate realms converge in our investigation, where we explore the celestial connection between the planets Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany, the celebrated footballer known for his prowess on the pitch.

As the immortal bard Shakespeare once pondered, "What's in a name? That which we call a planet by any other name would orbit just as sweetly." Indeed, with this sentiment in mind, we delve into the hallowed realms of astrology, astrophysics, and athleticism, seeking to unravel the enigmatic relationship between the positions of Uranus and Mars and the prolific goal-scoring exploits of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. While the link may seem as elusive as a comet streaking across the night sky, our research endeavors to shed light on this cosmic conundrum.

In this pursuit, we harness the power of astrophysical databases and sports statistics, blending the precision of orbital mechanics with the unforgiving rigidity of goal-scoring data. Our endeavor stretches across the vast chasm of time, from the year 2004 to 2020, a period marked by the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and Kompany's exploits on the hallowed ground of football pitches. As we traverse these uncharted territories, the gravity of our findings becomes apparent, hinting at a cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement.

While the mere suggestion of an association between the celestial mechanics and the terrestrial exploits of a footballer may evoke skepticism, our rigorously crafted analysis has unearthed a celestial-athletic entanglement that defies mere happenstance. As we present our findings, we invite the reader to join us on a cosmic odyssey, where the orbits of planets intersect with the arcs of goals, intertwining the whimsical wonders of space with the meteoric rise of a footballer.

With the stage set and our telescopic lenses focused, we embark on a journey that promises both astronomical revelations and sporting surprises, igniting the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions. Join us, dear reader, as we unravel the cosmic conundrum that ties together the distant planets and the goal-scoring dynamism of Vincent Kompany, offering a celestial spectacle that transcends the boundaries of both space and sport.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The cosmic dance of celestial bodies has long captivated the human imagination, captivating us with its mystique and wonder. Meanwhile, the world of sports, with its own blend of theatrics and athleticism, has enthralled millions with the thrill of competition and the joy of victory. In a curious twist of fate, these two seemingly disparate realms converge in our investigation, where we explore the celestial connection between the planets Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany, the celebrated footballer known for his prowess on the pitch.
As the immortal bard Shakespeare once pondered, "What's in a name? That which we call a planet by any other name would orbit just as sweetly." Indeed, with this sentiment in mind, we delve into the hallowed realms of astrology, astrophysics, and athleticism, seeking to unravel the enigmatic relationship between the positions of Uranus and Mars and the prolific goal-scoring exploits of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. While the link may seem as elusive as a comet streaking across the night sky, our research endeavors to shed light on this cosmic conundrum.
In this pursuit, we harness the power of astrophysical databases and sports statistics, blending the precision of orbital mechanics with the unforgiving rigidity of goal-scoring data. Our endeavor stretches across the vast chasm of time, from the year 2004 to 2020, a period marked by the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and Kompany's exploits on the hallowed ground of football pitches. As we traverse these uncharted territories, the gravity of our findings becomes apparent, hinting at a cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement.
While the mere suggestion of an association between the celestial mechanics and the terrestrial exploits of a footballer may evoke skepticism, our rigorously crafted analysis has unearthed a celestial-athletic entanglement that defies mere happenstance. As we present our findings, we invite the reader to join us on a cosmic odyssey, where the orbits of planets intersect with the arcs of goals, intertwining the whimsical wonders of space with the meteoric rise of a footballer.
With the stage set and our telescopic lenses focused, we embark on a journey that promises both astronomical revelations and sporting surprises, igniting the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions. Join us, dear reader, as we unravel the cosmic conundrum that ties together the distant planets and the goal-scoring dynamism of Vincent Kompany, offering a celestial spectacle that transcends the boundaries of both space and sport.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The scholarly exploration of astrophysics and athletic achievements has been a topic of great intrigue. Smith et al. (2015) in "Celestial Dynamics and Sporting Feats" and Doe (2018) in "The Art of Football in the Cosmos" provided valuable insights into the potential intersection of celestial dynamics and athletic prowess. However, as we ventured deeper into the literature, we found ourselves navigating a cosmic labyrinth that led us to unexpected destinations.

Transitioning from the serious to the amusing, Jones (2020) in "Planets and Penalty Kicks" humorously broached the subject of cosmic influences on sporting outcomes, offering a whimsical take on the interplay between celestial bodies and terrestrial athleticism. This departure from traditional scholarly discourse revealed the playful side of exploring astronomical phenomena in relation to human achievements.

Delving further into the realm of nonfiction, we encountered "Astrology and Athletics: An Unlikely Union" by Cosmos (2017) and "Kickin' It in the Cosmos" by Stargazer (2019), both of which probed the theoretical connections between celestial positioning and athletic performance. While these works introduced thought-provoking ideas, they also provided a platform for puns and cosmic comedy that transcended the boundaries of conventional academic discourse.

As we expanded our search into more imaginative realms, a new dimension of literature revealed itself. Fictional works such as "Mars Striker: A Football Odyssey" by Goalie Gal (2016) and "Uranus United: A Cosmic Team's Journey" by Soccer Star (2018) offered fanciful narratives weaving together the mysteries of the cosmos and the drama of athletic competition. These literary creations, though firmly situated in the realm of fantasy, served as lighthearted reminders of the imaginative potential inherent in exploring celestial and terrestrial connections.

In our quest to infuse levity into our cosmic inquiry, we could not overlook the influence of childhood cartoons and television shows. The cosmic adventures of "Captain Astro: Space Soccer Spectacular" and "Cosmo Kicks: Planetary Playoffs" provided whimsical depictions of interplanetary sports, prompting us to ponder the playful intersections of celestial bodies and athletic endeavors. These light-hearted reflections, while not academic in nature, enriched our understanding of the imaginative spectacles that could emerge from the fusion of cosmic curiosity and terrestrial sports.

In reflecting on the diverse literature that we encountered, we found ourselves inspired by the comedic and imaginative dimensions of examining the interconnections between celestial positioning and athletic accomplishments. The blending of scholarly inquiry with playful musings allowed us to appreciate the multifaceted nature of academic exploration, embracing both the solemnity of scientific investigation and the exuberance of creative expression.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia . You used data from 2004 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The cosmic dance of celestial bodies has long captivated the human imagination, captivating us with its mystique and wonder. Meanwhile, the world of sports, with its own blend of theatrics and athleticism, has enthralled millions with the thrill of competition and the joy of victory. In a curious twist of fate, these two seemingly disparate realms converge in our investigation, where we explore the celestial connection between the planets Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany, the celebrated footballer known for his prowess on the pitch.
As the immortal bard Shakespeare once pondered, "What's in a name? That which we call a planet by any other name would orbit just as sweetly." Indeed, with this sentiment in mind, we delve into the hallowed realms of astrology, astrophysics, and athleticism, seeking to unravel the enigmatic relationship between the positions of Uranus and Mars and the prolific goal-scoring exploits of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. While the link may seem as elusive as a comet streaking across the night sky, our research endeavors to shed light on this cosmic conundrum.
In this pursuit, we harness the power of astrophysical databases and sports statistics, blending the precision of orbital mechanics with the unforgiving rigidity of goal-scoring data. Our endeavor stretches across the vast chasm of time, from the year 2004 to 2020, a period marked by the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and Kompany's exploits on the hallowed ground of football pitches. As we traverse these uncharted territories, the gravity of our findings becomes apparent, hinting at a cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement.
While the mere suggestion of an association between the celestial mechanics and the terrestrial exploits of a footballer may evoke skepticism, our rigorously crafted analysis has unearthed a celestial-athletic entanglement that defies mere happenstance. As we present our findings, we invite the reader to join us on a cosmic odyssey, where the orbits of planets intersect with the arcs of goals, intertwining the whimsical wonders of space with the meteoric rise of a footballer.
With the stage set and our telescopic lenses focused, we embark on a journey that promises both astronomical revelations and sporting surprises, igniting the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions. Join us, dear reader, as we unravel the cosmic conundrum that ties together the distant planets and the goal-scoring dynamism of Vincent Kompany, offering a celestial spectacle that transcends the boundaries of both space and sport.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To explore the enigmatic relationship between the spatial configurations of Uranus and Mars with the prodigious goal-scoring prowess of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches, our research endeavor employed a multi-tiered methodology that harmonized the unfathomable realms of astrophysical data with the grounded precision of sports statistics. The data collection process, akin to a cosmic scavenger hunt, was punctuated by meticulous diligence and occasional bouts of perplexed wonderment.

First, the orbital positions of Uranus and Mars were determined with astrometric precision using Astropy, a formidable tool that harnesses the power of astrophysical databases. The distances between these planets were calculated with a rigor rivaling the orbital trajectories of celestial bodies, offering insights into the cosmic symphony playing out in the interplanetary expanse. The data from 2004 to 2020 served as our temporal canvas, capturing the celestial pas de deux between the ice giant and the red planet.

Simultaneously, the cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches were meticulously extracted from the annals of sports statistics, leveraging the reputable resources of Wikipedia and football databases. Each goal, akin to a meteor streaking across the footballing cosmos, was cataloged and scrutinized with the tenacity of an astronomer poring over star charts, ensuring the completeness and accuracy of our goal-scoring dataset.

Having acquired both the celestial and terrestrial datasets with astrophysical gusto, the statistical analysis commenced with a fervor that mirrored the burning intensity of a re-entry into the Earth's atmosphere. Spearheaded by robust regression models and correlation analyses, we sought to unravel the potential interconnectedness between the distant planets and Kompany's goal-scoring escapades. The aim was not merely to tease out correlations but also to discern the celestial influences, if any, that might impel or hinder the Belgian's goal-scoring trajectory.

The correlation coefficient, the celestial charmer of statistics, took center stage in our investigation, wielding its statistical wand to unravel the mysterious dance of cosmic energies and terrestrial exploits. The significance level, akin to the cosmic gatekeeper, was invoked with due diligence to ascertain the celestial-athletic liaison's robustness, affirming that our findings surpassed mere chance occurrences.

Furthermore, to enhance the robustness of our celestial-athletic odyssey, sensitivity analyses were conducted, probing the depths of the statistical ocean to ensure the reliability and resilience of our findings. The control of potential confounding variables, akin to steering a spacecraft through asteroid-laden space, was meticulously executed to disentangle any spurious interferences that could distort the cosmic narrative we sought to unveil.

Finally, the statistical findings were juxtaposed with the celestial choreography, weaving a narrative that blended the celestial cadence with the footballing finesse, unveiling the interplay of celestial energies on the terrestrial stage. Our research methodology, akin to the intrepid voyages of space exploration, unearthed a cosmic correlation that transcends the boundaries of mere coincidence, injecting a touch of celestial whimsy into the tapestry of athletic achievements.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Wikipedia .

For the time period 2004 to 2020, you found a correlation 0.6599243, r-squared of 0.4355001, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The cosmic dance of celestial bodies has long captivated the human imagination, captivating us with its mystique and wonder. Meanwhile, the world of sports, with its own blend of theatrics and athleticism, has enthralled millions with the thrill of competition and the joy of victory. In a curious twist of fate, these two seemingly disparate realms converge in our investigation, where we explore the celestial connection between the planets Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany, the celebrated footballer known for his prowess on the pitch.
As the immortal bard Shakespeare once pondered, "What's in a name? That which we call a planet by any other name would orbit just as sweetly." Indeed, with this sentiment in mind, we delve into the hallowed realms of astrology, astrophysics, and athleticism, seeking to unravel the enigmatic relationship between the positions of Uranus and Mars and the prolific goal-scoring exploits of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. While the link may seem as elusive as a comet streaking across the night sky, our research endeavors to shed light on this cosmic conundrum.
In this pursuit, we harness the power of astrophysical databases and sports statistics, blending the precision of orbital mechanics with the unforgiving rigidity of goal-scoring data. Our endeavor stretches across the vast chasm of time, from the year 2004 to 2020, a period marked by the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and Kompany's exploits on the hallowed ground of football pitches. As we traverse these uncharted territories, the gravity of our findings becomes apparent, hinting at a cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement.
While the mere suggestion of an association between the celestial mechanics and the terrestrial exploits of a footballer may evoke skepticism, our rigorously crafted analysis has unearthed a celestial-athletic entanglement that defies mere happenstance. As we present our findings, we invite the reader to join us on a cosmic odyssey, where the orbits of planets intersect with the arcs of goals, intertwining the whimsical wonders of space with the meteoric rise of a footballer.
With the stage set and our telescopic lenses focused, we embark on a journey that promises both astronomical revelations and sporting surprises, igniting the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions. Join us, dear reader, as we unravel the cosmic conundrum that ties together the distant planets and the goal-scoring dynamism of Vincent Kompany, offering a celestial spectacle that transcends the boundaries of both space and sport.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of the data from the years 2004 to 2020 revealed a significant correlation between the celestial dance of Uranus and Mars and the astonishing goal-scoring prowess of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. The correlation coefficient of 0.6599243, along with a robust r-squared of 0.4355001, points to a compelling statistical relationship between the distance separating these planets and the cumulative goals netted by the renowned footballer. This finding reinforces the notion that there is more than meets the telescope when it comes to celestial bodies and terrestrial triumphs.

Fig. 1 depicts the scatterplot illustrating this substantial correlation, emphasizing the distinct association between Uranus and Mars' orbital positions and Kompany's skillful exploits on the football pitch. As the saying goes, "When it comes to goals and gravity, the celestial bodies are not just passing gas," and our findings confirm the tangible link between these cosmic phenomena and the exuberant performances of a football luminary.

The robustness of the correlation, coupled with the p-value of < 0.01, provides compelling evidence that the alignment of planets in our celestial backyard may indeed exert an influence on the trajectory and timing of goals in domestic football matches. While some may find this connection as surprising as discovering a football pitch on the moon, our meticulously crafted analysis leaves little room for doubt regarding the statistical significance of this interplanetary relationship.

In summary, our investigation has unearthed a striking correlation between the positions of Uranus and Mars and Vincent Kompany's goal-scoring prowess, paving the way for a cosmic perspective on athletic achievements. This discovery not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also adds a celestial twist to the narrative of human triumphs, reminding us that even in the expanse of the cosmos, the goals of a footballer can leave a lasting impact.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The scholarly exploration of astrophysics and athletic achievements has been a topic of great intrigue. Smith et al. (2015) in "Celestial Dynamics and Sporting Feats" and Doe (2018) in "The Art of Football in the Cosmos" provided valuable insights into the potential intersection of celestial dynamics and athletic prowess. However, as we ventured deeper into the literature, we found ourselves navigating a cosmic labyrinth that led us to unexpected destinations.
Transitioning from the serious to the amusing, Jones (2020) in "Planets and Penalty Kicks" humorously broached the subject of cosmic influences on sporting outcomes, offering a whimsical take on the interplay between celestial bodies and terrestrial athleticism. This departure from traditional scholarly discourse revealed the playful side of exploring astronomical phenomena in relation to human achievements.
Delving further into the realm of nonfiction, we encountered "Astrology and Athletics: An Unlikely Union" by Cosmos (2017) and "Kickin' It in the Cosmos" by Stargazer (2019), both of which probed the theoretical connections between celestial positioning and athletic performance. While these works introduced thought-provoking ideas, they also provided a platform for puns and cosmic comedy that transcended the boundaries of conventional academic discourse.
As we expanded our search into more imaginative realms, a new dimension of literature revealed itself. Fictional works such as "Mars Striker: A Football Odyssey" by Goalie Gal (2016) and "Uranus United: A Cosmic Team's Journey" by Soccer Star (2018) offered fanciful narratives weaving together the mysteries of the cosmos and the drama of athletic competition. These literary creations, though firmly situated in the realm of fantasy, served as lighthearted reminders of the imaginative potential inherent in exploring celestial and terrestrial connections.
In our quest to infuse levity into our cosmic inquiry, we could not overlook the influence of childhood cartoons and television shows. The cosmic adventures of "Captain Astro: Space Soccer Spectacular" and "Cosmo Kicks: Planetary Playoffs" provided whimsical depictions of interplanetary sports, prompting us to ponder the playful intersections of celestial bodies and athletic endeavors. These light-hearted reflections, while not academic in nature, enriched our understanding of the imaginative spectacles that could emerge from the fusion of cosmic curiosity and terrestrial sports.
In reflecting on the diverse literature that we encountered, we found ourselves inspired by the comedic and imaginative dimensions of examining the interconnections between celestial positioning and athletic accomplishments. The blending of scholarly inquiry with playful musings allowed us to appreciate the multifaceted nature of academic exploration, embracing both the solemnity of scientific investigation and the exuberance of creative expression.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data from the years 2004 to 2020 revealed a significant correlation between the celestial dance of Uranus and Mars and the astonishing goal-scoring prowess of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. The correlation coefficient of 0.6599243, along with a robust r-squared of 0.4355001, points to a compelling statistical relationship between the distance separating these planets and the cumulative goals netted by the renowned footballer. This finding reinforces the notion that there is more than meets the telescope when it comes to celestial bodies and terrestrial triumphs.
Fig. 1 depicts the scatterplot illustrating this substantial correlation, emphasizing the distinct association between Uranus and Mars' orbital positions and Kompany's skillful exploits on the football pitch. As the saying goes, "When it comes to goals and gravity, the celestial bodies are not just passing gas," and our findings confirm the tangible link between these cosmic phenomena and the exuberant performances of a football luminary.
The robustness of the correlation, coupled with the p-value of < 0.01, provides compelling evidence that the alignment of planets in our celestial backyard may indeed exert an influence on the trajectory and timing of goals in domestic football matches. While some may find this connection as surprising as discovering a football pitch on the moon, our meticulously crafted analysis leaves little room for doubt regarding the statistical significance of this interplanetary relationship.
In summary, our investigation has unearthed a striking correlation between the positions of Uranus and Mars and Vincent Kompany's goal-scoring prowess, paving the way for a cosmic perspective on athletic achievements. This discovery not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also adds a celestial twist to the narrative of human triumphs, reminding us that even in the expanse of the cosmos, the goals of a footballer can leave a lasting impact.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our intergalactic investigation have, quite literally, launched us into a cosmic conundrum, leaving Earth-bound statisticians and astrophysicists alike scratching their heads in bewildered bemusement. While the notion of an association between the distance separating Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches might initially seem as preposterous as a goalkeeper spontaneously sprouting rocket boots, our findings provide compelling evidence of a tangible correlation.

In hindsight, our venture into the whimsical wonders of cosmic comedy, evident in our literature review, now takes on a whole new significance. The playful musings of Jones (2020) in "Planets and Penalty Kicks" and the fanciful narratives of Goalie Gal (2016) in "Mars Striker: A Football Odyssey" have, unexpectedly, laid the groundwork for our own investigation, offering a nod to the interplay between the celestial dance and terrestrial triumphs that we have now substantiated statistically.

Our results coincide with the tongue-in-cheek spirit of these earlier works, highlighting a robust correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and a p-value of less than 0.01, which lend empirical weight to the notion that celestial positioning could indeed influence the terrestrial exploits of a consummate footballer. Much like discovering a gravity-defying header in the midst of a solar eclipse, our findings invite a playful reconsideration of the cosmic factors that may shape the exuberant performances witnessed on football pitches.

The intersection of celestial dynamics and human endeavor, as delineated by the statistical revelation of our study, transcends the bewildering and ventures into the realm of the whimsical and wondrous. While our discussion may tickle the fancy of skeptics and believers alike, the robustness of our findings underscores the potential for cosmic influences to permeate the fabric of human achievement. As we contemplate the cosmic conundrum that has emerged from our investigation, we are reminded that even in the seemingly unfathomable expanse of the universe, the stars may align to guide the trajectory of goals and the fortunes of football legends.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mars and Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The cosmic dance of celestial bodies has long captivated the human imagination, captivating us with its mystique and wonder. Meanwhile, the world of sports, with its own blend of theatrics and athleticism, has enthralled millions with the thrill of competition and the joy of victory. In a curious twist of fate, these two seemingly disparate realms converge in our investigation, where we explore the celestial connection between the planets Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany, the celebrated footballer known for his prowess on the pitch.
As the immortal bard Shakespeare once pondered, "What's in a name? That which we call a planet by any other name would orbit just as sweetly." Indeed, with this sentiment in mind, we delve into the hallowed realms of astrology, astrophysics, and athleticism, seeking to unravel the enigmatic relationship between the positions of Uranus and Mars and the prolific goal-scoring exploits of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. While the link may seem as elusive as a comet streaking across the night sky, our research endeavors to shed light on this cosmic conundrum.
In this pursuit, we harness the power of astrophysical databases and sports statistics, blending the precision of orbital mechanics with the unforgiving rigidity of goal-scoring data. Our endeavor stretches across the vast chasm of time, from the year 2004 to 2020, a period marked by the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and Kompany's exploits on the hallowed ground of football pitches. As we traverse these uncharted territories, the gravity of our findings becomes apparent, hinting at a cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement.
While the mere suggestion of an association between the celestial mechanics and the terrestrial exploits of a footballer may evoke skepticism, our rigorously crafted analysis has unearthed a celestial-athletic entanglement that defies mere happenstance. As we present our findings, we invite the reader to join us on a cosmic odyssey, where the orbits of planets intersect with the arcs of goals, intertwining the whimsical wonders of space with the meteoric rise of a footballer.
With the stage set and our telescopic lenses focused, we embark on a journey that promises both astronomical revelations and sporting surprises, igniting the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions. Join us, dear reader, as we unravel the cosmic conundrum that ties together the distant planets and the goal-scoring dynamism of Vincent Kompany, offering a celestial spectacle that transcends the boundaries of both space and sport.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the data from the years 2004 to 2020 revealed a significant correlation between the celestial dance of Uranus and Mars and the astonishing goal-scoring prowess of Vincent Kompany in domestic football matches. The correlation coefficient of 0.6599243, along with a robust r-squared of 0.4355001, points to a compelling statistical relationship between the distance separating these planets and the cumulative goals netted by the renowned footballer. This finding reinforces the notion that there is more than meets the telescope when it comes to celestial bodies and terrestrial triumphs.
Fig. 1 depicts the scatterplot illustrating this substantial correlation, emphasizing the distinct association between Uranus and Mars' orbital positions and Kompany's skillful exploits on the football pitch. As the saying goes, "When it comes to goals and gravity, the celestial bodies are not just passing gas," and our findings confirm the tangible link between these cosmic phenomena and the exuberant performances of a football luminary.
The robustness of the correlation, coupled with the p-value of < 0.01, provides compelling evidence that the alignment of planets in our celestial backyard may indeed exert an influence on the trajectory and timing of goals in domestic football matches. While some may find this connection as surprising as discovering a football pitch on the moon, our meticulously crafted analysis leaves little room for doubt regarding the statistical significance of this interplanetary relationship.
In summary, our investigation has unearthed a striking correlation between the positions of Uranus and Mars and Vincent Kompany's goal-scoring prowess, paving the way for a cosmic perspective on athletic achievements. This discovery not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also adds a celestial twist to the narrative of human triumphs, reminding us that even in the expanse of the cosmos, the goals of a footballer can leave a lasting impact.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our cosmic odyssey has culminated in a discovery that transcends the boundaries of mere happenstance, unveiling a substantial link between the celestial waltz of Uranus and Mars and the terrestrial triumphs of Vincent Kompany on the football pitch. The statistically significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01 between the positions of these distant planets and Kompany's goal-scoring prowess not only defies conventional notions of astro-athletic associations but also ignites the imagination with the promise of a cosmic kicker and his celestial companions.

Our findings, depicted in the scatterplot (Fig. 1), underscore the undeniable intertwining of these seemingly disparate phenomena, prompting us to contemplate the cosmic choreography that may influence the trajectory of human achievement. While the scientific community may initially perceive this interplanetary connection as improbable as spotting a goalpost on Mars, the robustness of our analysis leaves little room for doubt regarding the statistical significance of this celestial-athletic entanglement.

As we bid adieu to this novel exploration, we are reminded of the immortal words of Isaac Newton, "What goes up must come down," and indeed, in the case of both celestial bodies and footballs, this principle holds true. With an air of cosmic whimsy, we encourage future researchers to embark on their own odyssey into the astrophysical-athletic realm, where the mysteries of space intersect with the triumphs of sport, seeking to unravel the enigmatic connections that may shape the fortunes of athletes on Earth and the celestial bodies in our cosmic backyard.

However, despite the celestial allure and sporting surprises that this investigation has unveiled, we assert that no further research is warranted in this area. For as the old adage goes, "You can't planet all," and indeed, our celestial investigation has reached its orbit of conclusion.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Astrological Athletics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Intergalactic Sports Science Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Cosmic Kicker: An Interplanetary Investigation of Vincent Kompany's Domestic Goal Scoring in Relation to Uranus and Mars with an abstract of This paper delves into the fascinating realm of astrophysical-athletic correlations, investigating the potential link between the distance separating the planets Uranus and Mars and the cumulative goals scored by the renowned footballer Vincent Kompany in domestic matches. Leveraging data from Astropy and Wikipedia, our research team meticulously analyzed the celestial positional relationships during the period of 2004 to 2020. Surprisingly, our findings unveil a significant correlation coefficient of 0.6599243 and p < 0.01, indicating a compelling statistical association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our study not only expands the frontiers of interdisciplinary research but also offers a cosmic perspective on the dynamism of human achievement, blending the whimsical wonders of space with the triumphs of terrestrial athletes.

ChatGPT:

Vincent Kompany, domestic goal scoring, interplanetary investigation, astrophysical correlations, Uranus and Mars, celestial positional relationships, statistical association, Vincent Kompany goals, astrophysical-athletic correlations, footballer Vincent Kompany, planetary distances, celestial data analysis

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Uranus and Mars
Detailed data title: The average distance between Uranus and Mars as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Uranus and Mars

Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches
Detailed data title: Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches for Anderlecht, Hamburg SV, and Manchester City
Source: Wikipedia
See what else correlates with Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches

Correlation r = 0.6599243 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.4355001 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 43.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Uranus and Mars) over the 17 years from 2004 through 2020.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.0039. 0.0039432552224559720000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.66 in 0.39% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 254 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 16 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 16 because we have two variables measured over a period of 17 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.26, 0.87 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20042005200620072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020
The distance between Uranus and Mars (Planetary distance (AU))21.126719.432321.235119.41121.257419.427821.196319.477921.042419.563120.819219.670320.527919.80320.205119.933119.8531
Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches (Goals scored)22203120314023111




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([21.1267,19.4323,21.2351,19.411,21.2574,19.4278,21.1963,19.4779,21.0424,19.5631,20.8192,19.6703,20.5279,19.803,20.2051,19.9331,19.8531,])
array_2 = np.array([2,2,2,0,3,1,2,0,3,1,4,0,2,3,1,1,1,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Uranus and Mars"
array_2_name = "Cumulative goals scored by Vincent Kompany in domestic matches"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2139 · Black Variable ID: 1951 · Red Variable ID: 306
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