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Spurious correlation #1,118 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Robberies in Massachusetts.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The cows finally organized and formed a neighborhood watch.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [ Concept art ] Generate an image of a serene kitchen interior, illuminated by gentle sunlight pouring in through sheer curtains. On the kitchen table, create a carton of milk standing untouched, surrounded by a warm, inviting ambiance. Next, depict a cozy living room with a group of contented people seated comfortably, each person exuding a sense of calm and well-being. Finally, illustrate a quaint town scene, depicting cheerful citizens going about their day, with no signs of criminal activity such as robberies. The visuals should encapsulate a peaceful atmosphere, radiating tranquility and happiness throughout the scenes. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: The decrease in milk consumption led to a decrease in lactose-intolerant individuals experiencing stomach discomfort, which in turn reduced their overall irritability and lowered the likelihood of engaging in criminal behavior, resulting in a decrease in robberies in Massachusetts.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Voxel art Magic realism Photorealism Concept art a Polaroid photo
ChatGPT: Concept art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. The decrease in milk consumption led to a decrease in lactose-intolerant individuals experiencing stomach discomfort, which in turn reduced their overall irritability and lowered the likelihood of engaging in criminal behavior, resulting in a decrease in robberies in Massachusetts.
ChatGPT: In the first scene, we see a carton of milk being left untouched on a kitchen table. Next, we see a group of people sitting comfortably, not experiencing any stomach discomfort. This leads to a peaceful atmosphere in the room, with everyone having relaxed expressions on their faces. Finally, we see a town with happy citizens going about their day, and there is a noticeable absence of any criminal activity such as robberies taking place.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Concept art ] and depicting this scene: In the first scene, we see a carton of milk being left untouched on a kitchen table. Next, we see a group of people sitting comfortably, not experiencing any stomach discomfort. This leads to a peaceful atmosphere in the room, with everyone having relaxed expressions on their faces. Finally, we see a town with happy citizens going about their day, and there is a noticeable absence of any criminal activity such as robberies taking place. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [ Concept art ] Generate an image of a serene kitchen interior, illuminated by gentle sunlight pouring in through sheer curtains. On the kitchen table, create a carton of milk standing untouched, surrounded by a warm, inviting ambiance. Next, depict a cozy living room with a group of contented people seated comfortably, each person exuding a sense of calm and well-being. Finally, illustrate a quaint town scene, depicting cheerful citizens going about their day, with no signs of criminal activity such as robberies. The visuals should encapsulate a peaceful atmosphere, radiating tranquility and happiness throughout the scenes.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Robberies in Massachusetts to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

The Journal of Bovine Behavior and Societal Impacts

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The relationship between milk consumption and criminal behavior has often been relegated to the realm of humor and whimsy, with jokes about "getaway cars" and "milk burglars" permeating popular culture. However, amidst the chuckles and giggles, a question arises: Could there be a potential correlation between the intake of this wholesome dairy product and the commission of crimes? This inquiry, while initially met with skepticism and mirth, has led to an intriguing investigation that has churned up some surprising findings.

In the context of Massachusetts, a state renowned for its rich history and vibrant societal tapestry, we set out to explore the connection between milk consumption and the occurrence of robberies. As we delved into this curious pursuit, we couldn't help but be reminded of the classic joke: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Similarly, as researchers, we are constantly faced with diverse problems that demand careful scrutiny and innovative solutions, and the correlation between milk and robberies presented an enigmatic puzzle that beckoned for resolution.

By analyzing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) on milk consumption and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services database on reported robberies from 1990 to 2021, we sought to unearth any substantive link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our initial skepticism transformed into astonishment as the statistical analyses revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, prompting us to exclaim, "This relationship is utterly fascinating!"

The discovery of this statistically significant positive correlation not only piqued our academic curiosity but also invited a playful reimagining of classic idioms. After all, who would have thought that "cereal robberies" and "milk heists" could take on a whole new meaning in the context of our findings?

As we present this research, we aim to underscore the potential implications of our unexpected findings for criminology, public policy, and perhaps even marketing strategies within the dairy industry. Thus, while the idea of milk as a catalyst for criminal behavior may initially appear "udderly" preposterous, our study suggests that it may indeed warrant serious consideration and further investigation.

In this vein, we invite our esteemed colleagues to accompany us on a journey through the quirky terrain of statistical analysis, where even the most mundane variables can unveil their unsuspected connections. We hope that our findings will inspire both scholarly discourse and, dare we say, a few milk-related puns along the way.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The relationship between milk consumption and criminal behavior has often been relegated to the realm of humor and whimsy, with jokes about "getaway cars" and "milk burglars" permeating popular culture. However, amidst the chuckles and giggles, a question arises: Could there be a potential correlation between the intake of this wholesome dairy product and the commission of crimes? This inquiry, while initially met with skepticism and mirth, has led to an intriguing investigation that has churned up some surprising findings.
In the context of Massachusetts, a state renowned for its rich history and vibrant societal tapestry, we set out to explore the connection between milk consumption and the occurrence of robberies. As we delved into this curious pursuit, we couldn't help but be reminded of the classic joke: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Similarly, as researchers, we are constantly faced with diverse problems that demand careful scrutiny and innovative solutions, and the correlation between milk and robberies presented an enigmatic puzzle that beckoned for resolution.
By analyzing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) on milk consumption and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services database on reported robberies from 1990 to 2021, we sought to unearth any substantive link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our initial skepticism transformed into astonishment as the statistical analyses revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, prompting us to exclaim, "This relationship is utterly fascinating!"
The discovery of this statistically significant positive correlation not only piqued our academic curiosity but also invited a playful reimagining of classic idioms. After all, who would have thought that "cereal robberies" and "milk heists" could take on a whole new meaning in the context of our findings?
As we present this research, we aim to underscore the potential implications of our unexpected findings for criminology, public policy, and perhaps even marketing strategies within the dairy industry. Thus, while the idea of milk as a catalyst for criminal behavior may initially appear "udderly" preposterous, our study suggests that it may indeed warrant serious consideration and further investigation.
In this vein, we invite our esteemed colleagues to accompany us on a journey through the quirky terrain of statistical analysis, where even the most mundane variables can unveil their unsuspected connections. We hope that our findings will inspire both scholarly discourse and, dare we say, a few milk-related puns along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The unexpected relationship between milk consumption and criminal activity has spurred a cornucopia of inquiries, ranging from the flippant to the downright udderly perplexing. Smith and Doe, in their seminal work "Dairy Dynamics: Exploring the Interplay of Milk and Mayhem," laid the groundwork for our understanding by postulating potential links between the creamy beverage and unlawful behavior. Their riveting exploration sent shockwaves through academic circles, akin to a lactose-intolerant individual stumbling upon an unmarked jug of milk.

Jones, in "Milk Money and Misdemeanors: A Statistical Saga," meticulously detailed patterns of milk consumption and misdemeanor offenses, capturing the academic imagination and the delight of bovine enthusiasts everywhere.

Turning to non-fiction literature that tangentially touches upon the subject matter, "Got Milked: The Economics of Dairy" by Emma Creamery provides a comprehensive exploration of the economic implications of the dairy industry. This work, though not explicitly focused on crime, invites readers to ponder the potential societal ripple effects of milk production and consumption.

On the fictional front, the classic "Milk and Honey" by R. Cheesecake elevates the status of milk to realms beyond the mundane, offering a surreal yet oddly compelling narrative that teases the boundaries of reality and imagination. The uncanny parallels between the enchanting prose of "Milk and Honey" and our own empirical journey are, like milk and cookies, simply irresistible.

In a twist of fate, "The Great Milk Robbery" by A. Steal captivates readers with its thrilling narrative of heists and lactic exploits, serving as a reminder that fact and fiction often intertwine in unexpectedly delightful ways.

While perhaps less conventional, the cinematic masterpiece "Milk Money" (directed by Richard Benjamin) weaves a tale of youthful adventure and discovery—one that, for all its cinematic prowess, fails to directly address the enigmatic connection we seek to unravel. Nevertheless, its resonance with the essence of our exploration is, dare we say, utterly undeniable.

In our pursuit of unveiling the perplexing correlation between milk consumption and robberies, we have actively sought novel insights from a diverse array of sources, recognizing that truth, much like a carton of milk left out in the sun, may take on unforeseen complexities when subjected to rigorous scrutiny.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The relationship between milk consumption and criminal behavior has often been relegated to the realm of humor and whimsy, with jokes about "getaway cars" and "milk burglars" permeating popular culture. However, amidst the chuckles and giggles, a question arises: Could there be a potential correlation between the intake of this wholesome dairy product and the commission of crimes? This inquiry, while initially met with skepticism and mirth, has led to an intriguing investigation that has churned up some surprising findings.
In the context of Massachusetts, a state renowned for its rich history and vibrant societal tapestry, we set out to explore the connection between milk consumption and the occurrence of robberies. As we delved into this curious pursuit, we couldn't help but be reminded of the classic joke: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Similarly, as researchers, we are constantly faced with diverse problems that demand careful scrutiny and innovative solutions, and the correlation between milk and robberies presented an enigmatic puzzle that beckoned for resolution.
By analyzing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) on milk consumption and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services database on reported robberies from 1990 to 2021, we sought to unearth any substantive link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our initial skepticism transformed into astonishment as the statistical analyses revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, prompting us to exclaim, "This relationship is utterly fascinating!"
The discovery of this statistically significant positive correlation not only piqued our academic curiosity but also invited a playful reimagining of classic idioms. After all, who would have thought that "cereal robberies" and "milk heists" could take on a whole new meaning in the context of our findings?
As we present this research, we aim to underscore the potential implications of our unexpected findings for criminology, public policy, and perhaps even marketing strategies within the dairy industry. Thus, while the idea of milk as a catalyst for criminal behavior may initially appear "udderly" preposterous, our study suggests that it may indeed warrant serious consideration and further investigation.
In this vein, we invite our esteemed colleagues to accompany us on a journey through the quirky terrain of statistical analysis, where even the most mundane variables can unveil their unsuspected connections. We hope that our findings will inspire both scholarly discourse and, dare we say, a few milk-related puns along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To investigate the tantalizing link between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts, a comprehensive and systematic approach was employed, blending elements of statistical analysis with a dash of dairy-driven determination. The study spanned a period from 1990 to 2021, encompassing a robust dataset obtained primarily from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services.

Rigorous statistical analyses were applied to unravel the potential relationship between milk consumption and incidences of robbery. The milk consumption data, measured in gallons per capita, was obtained from the USDA, offering a voluminous foundation for comparison and inquiry. Meanwhile, the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services database provided a robust catalog of reported robberies, offering a wealth of criminal activity to scrutinize.

The methodological approach involved the meticulous parsing of these datasets, with a keen eye for detail and a profound respect for the udderly unexpected. Time series analysis, correlational studies, and regression models were utilized to sift through the statistical haystack and discern any "moo-tative" trends that might indicate a substantive connection between milk consumption and robberies. The statistical software utilized for this purpose was, fittingly enough, "MILKed" for all the analytical insights it could yield.

In an effort to navigate this uncharted terrain, we also conducted anomaly detection to ensure that any outliers in the data did not "milk" the results in a misleading way. This cautionary step aimed to prevent any statistical mishaps that might curdle the purity of our findings and provoke erroneous conclusions. After all, when it comes to statistical analysis, we prefer to avoid any sour notes!

As for controls and covariates, various demographic, economic, and environmental factors were taken into account to ensure a comprehensive and robust analysis. Factors such as population density, unemployment rates, and even weather patterns were evaluated to determine whether the observed correlation between milk consumption and robberies could be attributed to confounding variables or mere "udder" coincidence.

The statistical analyses were complemented by qualitative interviews with dairy enthusiasts, law enforcement professionals, and perhaps a friendly bovine or two, all in a bid to glean a well-rounded understanding of the complex interplay between milk consumption and criminal activity. These interviews, though conducted lightheartedly, served to enrich our findings with diverse perspectives and, dare we say, a smattering of dairy-related anecdotes.

Throughout this rigorous and dairy-rich journey, the research team remained resolute in their pursuit of robust and "udderly" sound methodologies, aspiring to leave no stone unturned or milk carton unopened in their quest for understanding. The results of this endeavor, we trust, will not only offer scholarly illumination but perhaps even lead to the occasional chuckle or chortle, in the spirit of scientific inquiry and the unexpected humor that can arise from the most unlikely subjects.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8813825, r-squared of 0.7768351, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The relationship between milk consumption and criminal behavior has often been relegated to the realm of humor and whimsy, with jokes about "getaway cars" and "milk burglars" permeating popular culture. However, amidst the chuckles and giggles, a question arises: Could there be a potential correlation between the intake of this wholesome dairy product and the commission of crimes? This inquiry, while initially met with skepticism and mirth, has led to an intriguing investigation that has churned up some surprising findings.
In the context of Massachusetts, a state renowned for its rich history and vibrant societal tapestry, we set out to explore the connection between milk consumption and the occurrence of robberies. As we delved into this curious pursuit, we couldn't help but be reminded of the classic joke: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Similarly, as researchers, we are constantly faced with diverse problems that demand careful scrutiny and innovative solutions, and the correlation between milk and robberies presented an enigmatic puzzle that beckoned for resolution.
By analyzing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) on milk consumption and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services database on reported robberies from 1990 to 2021, we sought to unearth any substantive link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our initial skepticism transformed into astonishment as the statistical analyses revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, prompting us to exclaim, "This relationship is utterly fascinating!"
The discovery of this statistically significant positive correlation not only piqued our academic curiosity but also invited a playful reimagining of classic idioms. After all, who would have thought that "cereal robberies" and "milk heists" could take on a whole new meaning in the context of our findings?
As we present this research, we aim to underscore the potential implications of our unexpected findings for criminology, public policy, and perhaps even marketing strategies within the dairy industry. Thus, while the idea of milk as a catalyst for criminal behavior may initially appear "udderly" preposterous, our study suggests that it may indeed warrant serious consideration and further investigation.
In this vein, we invite our esteemed colleagues to accompany us on a journey through the quirky terrain of statistical analysis, where even the most mundane variables can unveil their unsuspected connections. We hope that our findings will inspire both scholarly discourse and, dare we say, a few milk-related puns along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of the relationship between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation of 0.8813825, an r-squared of 0.7768351, and a p-value less than 0.01. The scatterplot in Figure 1 unmistakably illustrates the upward trend, capturing the surprising synergy between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems the milk has truly seen "greener pastures," albeit in an unexpected context.

The substantial correlation coefficient obtained leaves little room for doubt: as milk consumption rose, so did the incidence of robberies. This finding challenges popular assumptions and certainly puts a new spin on the concept of "moo-la."

This unexpected linkage between milk consumption and criminal behavior invites contemplation regarding the potential mechanisms behind this association. Maybe it's not just the calcium that's causing bones to be broken. Needless to say, this research certainly puts the “dairy” in "daring criminal correlations."

While the direct causation remains elusive, our findings prompt further exploration into the social and behavioral dynamics influenced by milk consumption. Perhaps we are witnessing the emergence of a dairy daring delinquency or a moooo-vie script in the making.

In summary, our research suggests that an in-depth investigation into the connection between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts would surely enrich our understanding of the societal influences on criminal activity. It is a topic ripe for continued examination and one that promises to yield not only valuable insights but also an abundance of dairy-themed dad jokes. Thus, we urge scholars and policymakers alike to embrace the unexpected and give this unusual pairing the attention it deserves - after all, sometimes the most intriguing connections can be found in the unlikeliest places.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The unexpected relationship between milk consumption and criminal activity has spurred a cornucopia of inquiries, ranging from the flippant to the downright udderly perplexing. Smith and Doe, in their seminal work "Dairy Dynamics: Exploring the Interplay of Milk and Mayhem," laid the groundwork for our understanding by postulating potential links between the creamy beverage and unlawful behavior. Their riveting exploration sent shockwaves through academic circles, akin to a lactose-intolerant individual stumbling upon an unmarked jug of milk.
Jones, in "Milk Money and Misdemeanors: A Statistical Saga," meticulously detailed patterns of milk consumption and misdemeanor offenses, capturing the academic imagination and the delight of bovine enthusiasts everywhere.
Turning to non-fiction literature that tangentially touches upon the subject matter, "Got Milked: The Economics of Dairy" by Emma Creamery provides a comprehensive exploration of the economic implications of the dairy industry. This work, though not explicitly focused on crime, invites readers to ponder the potential societal ripple effects of milk production and consumption.
On the fictional front, the classic "Milk and Honey" by R. Cheesecake elevates the status of milk to realms beyond the mundane, offering a surreal yet oddly compelling narrative that teases the boundaries of reality and imagination. The uncanny parallels between the enchanting prose of "Milk and Honey" and our own empirical journey are, like milk and cookies, simply irresistible.
In a twist of fate, "The Great Milk Robbery" by A. Steal captivates readers with its thrilling narrative of heists and lactic exploits, serving as a reminder that fact and fiction often intertwine in unexpectedly delightful ways.
While perhaps less conventional, the cinematic masterpiece "Milk Money" (directed by Richard Benjamin) weaves a tale of youthful adventure and discovery—one that, for all its cinematic prowess, fails to directly address the enigmatic connection we seek to unravel. Nevertheless, its resonance with the essence of our exploration is, dare we say, utterly undeniable.
In our pursuit of unveiling the perplexing correlation between milk consumption and robberies, we have actively sought novel insights from a diverse array of sources, recognizing that truth, much like a carton of milk left out in the sun, may take on unforeseen complexities when subjected to rigorous scrutiny.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the relationship between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation of 0.8813825, an r-squared of 0.7768351, and a p-value less than 0.01. The scatterplot in Figure 1 unmistakably illustrates the upward trend, capturing the surprising synergy between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems the milk has truly seen "greener pastures," albeit in an unexpected context.
The substantial correlation coefficient obtained leaves little room for doubt: as milk consumption rose, so did the incidence of robberies. This finding challenges popular assumptions and certainly puts a new spin on the concept of "moo-la."
This unexpected linkage between milk consumption and criminal behavior invites contemplation regarding the potential mechanisms behind this association. Maybe it's not just the calcium that's causing bones to be broken. Needless to say, this research certainly puts the “dairy” in "daring criminal correlations."
While the direct causation remains elusive, our findings prompt further exploration into the social and behavioral dynamics influenced by milk consumption. Perhaps we are witnessing the emergence of a dairy daring delinquency or a moooo-vie script in the making.
In summary, our research suggests that an in-depth investigation into the connection between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts would surely enrich our understanding of the societal influences on criminal activity. It is a topic ripe for continued examination and one that promises to yield not only valuable insights but also an abundance of dairy-themed dad jokes. Thus, we urge scholars and policymakers alike to embrace the unexpected and give this unusual pairing the attention it deserves - after all, sometimes the most intriguing connections can be found in the unlikeliest places.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our study provide substantial evidence supporting the unanticipated positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts. This finding aligns with previous research by Smith and Doe, who initially posited the intriguing possibility of a link between the creamy beverage and criminal behavior. It appears that the influence of milk may extend far beyond the mere strengthening of bones and teeth. It seems the "Got Milf?" title is not the only thing possessing a robust backbone - our statistical analysis also exhibits commendable strength.

Our findings also resonate with the work of Jones, who meticulously documented the patterns of milk consumption and misdemeanor offenses. While the idea of milk as a possible culprit in criminal activity may have elicited a few chuckles in the past, our research underscores the significance of taking such relationships seriously. As we embark on this "moo-ving" discussion, the data suggests a compelling need to consider the potential societal implications of milk consumption on criminal activity, revealing that sometimes, the milkiest way forward is an unexpected one.

The substantial positive correlation coefficient obtained in our study provides strong support for the notion that as milk consumption increases, so too does the number of robberies. While we refrain from ascribing a causative link between the two variables, the depth of the relationship demands acknowledgment. Perhaps, as the saying goes, there is more to the phrase "cashing in on milk" than meets the eye.

Our results underscore the need for further exploration into the underlying mechanisms influencing this intriguing relationship. It would be un-"cow-thodox" of us not to delve deeper into the potential social and behavioral dynamics that may be at play here. After all, understanding the motivations behind this phenomenon could offer a wealth of opportunities for preventative interventions and policy considerations, as well as plenty of material for a dairy-themed stand-up comedy routine.

In conclusion, our findings not only affirm the unexpected association between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts but also highlight the importance of approaching unconventional research topics with scholarly rigor and open-mindedness. As we raise a glass of milk to toast to our results, we encourage further investigation into this perplexing correlation and look forward to - "dare-we-say" - milking the topic for all it's worth.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts

[[ABSTRACT]]
Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.

Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.

In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.

We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The relationship between milk consumption and criminal behavior has often been relegated to the realm of humor and whimsy, with jokes about "getaway cars" and "milk burglars" permeating popular culture. However, amidst the chuckles and giggles, a question arises: Could there be a potential correlation between the intake of this wholesome dairy product and the commission of crimes? This inquiry, while initially met with skepticism and mirth, has led to an intriguing investigation that has churned up some surprising findings.
In the context of Massachusetts, a state renowned for its rich history and vibrant societal tapestry, we set out to explore the connection between milk consumption and the occurrence of robberies. As we delved into this curious pursuit, we couldn't help but be reminded of the classic joke: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Similarly, as researchers, we are constantly faced with diverse problems that demand careful scrutiny and innovative solutions, and the correlation between milk and robberies presented an enigmatic puzzle that beckoned for resolution.
By analyzing data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) on milk consumption and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services database on reported robberies from 1990 to 2021, we sought to unearth any substantive link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. Our initial skepticism transformed into astonishment as the statistical analyses revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, prompting us to exclaim, "This relationship is utterly fascinating!"
The discovery of this statistically significant positive correlation not only piqued our academic curiosity but also invited a playful reimagining of classic idioms. After all, who would have thought that "cereal robberies" and "milk heists" could take on a whole new meaning in the context of our findings?
As we present this research, we aim to underscore the potential implications of our unexpected findings for criminology, public policy, and perhaps even marketing strategies within the dairy industry. Thus, while the idea of milk as a catalyst for criminal behavior may initially appear "udderly" preposterous, our study suggests that it may indeed warrant serious consideration and further investigation.
In this vein, we invite our esteemed colleagues to accompany us on a journey through the quirky terrain of statistical analysis, where even the most mundane variables can unveil their unsuspected connections. We hope that our findings will inspire both scholarly discourse and, dare we say, a few milk-related puns along the way.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of the relationship between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts from 1990 to 2021 revealed a remarkably strong positive correlation of 0.8813825, an r-squared of 0.7768351, and a p-value less than 0.01. The scatterplot in Figure 1 unmistakably illustrates the upward trend, capturing the surprising synergy between these seemingly unrelated variables. It seems the milk has truly seen "greener pastures," albeit in an unexpected context.
The substantial correlation coefficient obtained leaves little room for doubt: as milk consumption rose, so did the incidence of robberies. This finding challenges popular assumptions and certainly puts a new spin on the concept of "moo-la."
This unexpected linkage between milk consumption and criminal behavior invites contemplation regarding the potential mechanisms behind this association. Maybe it's not just the calcium that's causing bones to be broken. Needless to say, this research certainly puts the “dairy” in "daring criminal correlations."
While the direct causation remains elusive, our findings prompt further exploration into the social and behavioral dynamics influenced by milk consumption. Perhaps we are witnessing the emergence of a dairy daring delinquency or a moooo-vie script in the making.
In summary, our research suggests that an in-depth investigation into the connection between milk consumption and robberies in Massachusetts would surely enrich our understanding of the societal influences on criminal activity. It is a topic ripe for continued examination and one that promises to yield not only valuable insights but also an abundance of dairy-themed dad jokes. Thus, we urge scholars and policymakers alike to embrace the unexpected and give this unusual pairing the attention it deserves - after all, sometimes the most intriguing connections can be found in the unlikeliest places.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has unveiled a robust positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, a relationship that defies conventional expectations and milks the fields of statistical inquiry for all they're worth. Our findings present a "dairy-ma" of unprecedented proportions, shedding light on a previously unexplored dimension of societal behavior and challenging the prevailing "butter" half-baked assumptions.

The substantial correlation coefficient obtained serves as a "moo-ving" testament to the unexpected interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena, provoking both scholarly contemplation and wry dairy-infused puns. As the data "curdles" our initial skepticism, it compels us to approach the interplay between milk consumption and criminal activity with intellectual curiosity and a hint of lactose-themed levity.

Our results have not only redefined the limits of statistical exploration but have also opened the door to a "grate" multitude of potential implications for criminology, public policy, and the dairy industry. As we contemplate the implications of our findings, we are reminded of the classic dad joke, "I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug." Similarly, we urge our esteemed colleagues to embrace the unexpected and capitalize on the valuable insights our research offers, while perhaps sharing a "milk mug" or two of laughter along the way.

In light of our "moo-numental" findings, we contend that further research in this area may yield diminishing returns - after all, how much more "udder"ly surprising can the relationship between milk consumption and robberies get? Therefore, we assert that this study provides a milky way forward and that, perhaps, no less may be needed in this "milky heist-ory" of statistical exploration.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Bovine Behavior and Societal Impacts


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy Delinquency Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Got Milf? Exploring the Udderly Surprising Relationship Between Milk Consumption and Robberies in Massachusetts with an abstract of Milk has been a staple in many households for decades, but its potential association with criminal activity has long been a topic for jest rather than serious inquiry. In this study, we delve into the captivating, albeit unexpected, connection between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in the state of Massachusetts. Utilizing rigorous statistical analysis and data spanning from 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovers a correlation coefficient of 0.8813825 and p < 0.01, shedding light on a "moo-ving" relationship that has eluded public attention.
Milk is a widely consumed beverage cherished for its nutritional benefits and creamy taste. However, our findings suggest that its impact may extend beyond its contribution to bone health and calcium intake. Through a comprehensive examination of USDA records on milk consumption and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data on robberies, we reveal an intriguing pattern that challenges conventional wisdom and prompts us to take a serious look at the dairy aisle.
In our pursuit of illuminating this intriguing connection, we encountered remarkable statistical significance, prompting us to exclaim, "Holy cow!" The results of our analysis point to a strong positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of robberies in Massachusetts, implying that as milk consumption rises, so do the number of robberies. This could lead to a "udderly" fascinating discussion on the potential implications of the dairy industry on societal behavior, with profound implications for public policy and criminology.
We anticipate that the findings of this study will stimulate further research and provoke lively debates, while also providing an entertaining reminder that sometimes, the most "un-bovine-able" relationships can emerge from the most unexpected sources.

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, robberies, Massachusetts, correlation, statistical analysis, dairy industry, societal behavior, public policy, criminology, USDA records, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, calcium intake, nutritional benefits, bone health

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Robberies in Massachusetts
Detailed data title: The robbery rate per 100,000 residents in Massachusetts
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Robberies in Massachusetts

Correlation r = 0.8813825 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7768351 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 77.7% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Robberies in Massachusetts) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.8E-11. 0.0000000000275527062771180350
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.88 in 2.8E-9% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 36,294,075,433 random variables You don't actually need 36 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.77, 0.94 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Robberies in Massachusetts (Robbery rate)217.1194.6184.4175.7168.2150.4127.7109.196.69691.6101.2111.6124.8116.8121.8125.5108.9108.9113.2105.2102.498.699.99077.678.67159.352.643.737.4




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([217.1,194.6,184.4,175.7,168.2,150.4,127.7,109.1,96.6,96,91.6,101.2,111.6,124.8,116.8,121.8,125.5,108.9,108.9,113.2,105.2,102.4,98.6,99.9,90,77.6,78.6,71,59.3,52.6,43.7,37.4,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Robberies in Massachusetts"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1118 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20195
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