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Spurious correlation #1,079 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and the second variable is Associate Professor salaries in the US.  The chart goes from 2009 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The decrease in air quality in Grand Rapids led to an increase in respiratory issues among the population. This, in turn, created a higher demand for medical services, causing healthcare costs to skyrocket. To compensate for these rising costs, academic institutions had to cut down on budgets, leading to a decrease in associate professor salaries nationwide.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [ A scene from a Pixar movie ] Using the style of a Pixar movie, let's depict a group of professors in a classroom dealing with deteriorating air quality and struggling to breathe. The atmosphere is hazy and smoggy, with the professors feeling visibly fatigued and reaching for water bottles. Throughout the scene, small bags of peanuts are on the desks, symbolizing the struggle with reduced salaries and the phrase "working for peanuts." The visual should have clear expressions of hardship and weariness on the professors' faces, while still maintaining the whimsical and expressive style of a Pixar movie. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: Breaking news: it seems the decrease in good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan has had a surprising impact on Associate Professor salaries across the US. It turns out, as the air quality worsened, professors were left gasping for breath, leading to decreased productivity and ultimately reduced salaries. Sources speculate that the phrase "working for peanuts" has taken on a whole new meaning as professors struggle to keep their heads above the smog.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie inspired by bauhaus Art nouveau Celtic art Sci-fi fantacy
ChatGPT: A scene from a Pixar movie

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. Breaking news: it seems the decrease in good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan has had a surprising impact on Associate Professor salaries across the US. It turns out, as the air quality worsened, professors were left gasping for breath, leading to decreased productivity and ultimately reduced salaries. Sources speculate that the phrase "working for peanuts" has taken on a whole new meaning as professors struggle to keep their heads above the smog.
ChatGPT: Imagine a scene of a group of professors in a classroom, looking visibly tired and struggling to breathe as the air quality deteriorates around them. The atmosphere is hazy and smoggy, with the professors feeling fatigued and reaching for water bottles in an attempt to catch their breath. In the midst of this, there are small bags of peanuts placed on the desks, symbolizing the struggle with reduced salaries and the phrase "working for peanuts."

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A scene from a Pixar movie ] and depicting this scene: Imagine a scene of a group of professors in a classroom, looking visibly tired and struggling to breathe as the air quality deteriorates around them. The atmosphere is hazy and smoggy, with the professors feeling fatigued and reaching for water bottles in an attempt to catch their breath. In the midst of this, there are small bags of peanuts placed on the desks, symbolizing the struggle with reduced salaries and the phrase "working for peanuts." Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [ A scene from a Pixar movie ] Using the style of a Pixar movie, let's depict a group of professors in a classroom dealing with deteriorating air quality and struggling to breathe. The atmosphere is hazy and smoggy, with the professors feeling visibly fatigued and reaching for water bottles. Throughout the scene, small bags of peanuts are on the desks, symbolizing the struggle with reduced salaries and the phrase "working for peanuts." The visual should have clear expressions of hardship and weariness on the professors' faces, while still maintaining the whimsical and expressive style of a Pixar movie.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humerus responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan caused Associate Professor salaries in the US to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

The Journal of Financial Clout and Fresh Airconomics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and National Center for Education Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 and p < 0.01 for 2009 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

As we delve into the intricate web of factors that influence the financial compensation of associate professors in the United States, it becomes apparent that there are often hidden correlations waiting to be unearthed. While some may claim that the world of academia is a realm of pure intellectual pursuit, devoid of material concerns, our research has led us to a surprising revelation – the quality of air in Grand Rapids, Michigan, may have a direct impact on the salaries of associate professors nationwide.

It's a bit like the old joke: Why do economists make for great company at outdoor events? Because they have plenty of fresh air-demics! Our study aims to shed light on the often overlooked influence of environmental conditions on compensation, proving once and for all that air quality is not just a breath of fresh air, but also a potential influencer of financial well-being.

The foundations of our investigation lie in the meticulous analysis of data sourced from the Environmental Protection Agency, where air quality measurements were obtained for Grand Rapids, Michigan, spanning over a decade. Alongside this, we combed through the archives of the National Center for Education Statistics to gather comprehensive information on the salaries of associate professors across various institutions and disciplines. We took a deep dive into the statistical ocean, looking for lucrative fish among the seaweed of figures.

As we unraveled the data, an unexpected quantifiable relationship emerged, akin to finding a dollar at the bottom of a murky statistical pond – one that could not be attributed to mere chance. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 stood bold and proud, defying the odds like a beacon in the fog, indicating a strong positive relationship between the pristine air of Grand Rapids and the fatter paychecks of associate professors. It's almost as surprising as discovering that statisticians can sometimes be quite "mean"!

The statistical significance of this association, with p < 0.01, left no room for doubt, much like the inevitable conclusion of a well-structured argument. What we once thought of as mere whimsy, now stands as a verifiable truth – a breath of fresh air indeed!

This unexpected connection may have even broader implications for the understanding of the impact of environmental factors on economic phenomena. Could it be that the winds of change blow from the west to influence the salaries of academics across the nation? These findings broaden our perspective, demonstrating that the seemingly unrelated realms of environmental science and economics may intertwine in ways that we have not previously conceived. It's like discovering a secret hideaway in the midst of a busy city – always there but seldom noticed.

Our study is not merely an exploration of numbers and correlations; it is an endeavor to challenge existing paradigms and to encourage further investigation into the interconnectedness of seemingly disparate fields. So, let us embark on this scientific journey, where we uncover not just correlations, but corollaries – for sometimes, the answers to life's mysteries lie not in the textbooks, but in the very air we breathe.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
As we delve into the intricate web of factors that influence the financial compensation of associate professors in the United States, it becomes apparent that there are often hidden correlations waiting to be unearthed. While some may claim that the world of academia is a realm of pure intellectual pursuit, devoid of material concerns, our research has led us to a surprising revelation – the quality of air in Grand Rapids, Michigan, may have a direct impact on the salaries of associate professors nationwide.
It's a bit like the old joke: Why do economists make for great company at outdoor events? Because they have plenty of fresh air-demics! Our study aims to shed light on the often overlooked influence of environmental conditions on compensation, proving once and for all that air quality is not just a breath of fresh air, but also a potential influencer of financial well-being.
The foundations of our investigation lie in the meticulous analysis of data sourced from the Environmental Protection Agency, where air quality measurements were obtained for Grand Rapids, Michigan, spanning over a decade. Alongside this, we combed through the archives of the National Center for Education Statistics to gather comprehensive information on the salaries of associate professors across various institutions and disciplines. We took a deep dive into the statistical ocean, looking for lucrative fish among the seaweed of figures.
As we unraveled the data, an unexpected quantifiable relationship emerged, akin to finding a dollar at the bottom of a murky statistical pond – one that could not be attributed to mere chance. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 stood bold and proud, defying the odds like a beacon in the fog, indicating a strong positive relationship between the pristine air of Grand Rapids and the fatter paychecks of associate professors. It's almost as surprising as discovering that statisticians can sometimes be quite "mean"!
The statistical significance of this association, with p < 0.01, left no room for doubt, much like the inevitable conclusion of a well-structured argument. What we once thought of as mere whimsy, now stands as a verifiable truth – a breath of fresh air indeed!
This unexpected connection may have even broader implications for the understanding of the impact of environmental factors on economic phenomena. Could it be that the winds of change blow from the west to influence the salaries of academics across the nation? These findings broaden our perspective, demonstrating that the seemingly unrelated realms of environmental science and economics may intertwine in ways that we have not previously conceived. It's like discovering a secret hideaway in the midst of a busy city – always there but seldom noticed.
Our study is not merely an exploration of numbers and correlations; it is an endeavor to challenge existing paradigms and to encourage further investigation into the interconnectedness of seemingly disparate fields. So, let us embark on this scientific journey, where we uncover not just correlations, but corollaries – for sometimes, the answers to life's mysteries lie not in the textbooks, but in the very air we breathe.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Smith and Doe's groundbreaking study on Air Quality and Economic Well-being," the authors find a significant positive correlation between air quality in urban areas and economic prosperity, highlighting the potential impact of environmental factors on financial indicators. This study paves the way for further exploration into the interplay between environmental conditions and economic outcomes, shedding light on the intricate dance between the elements and financial well-being.

However, as we tumbled down the rabbit hole of literature, seeking connections between air quality and income, we stumbled upon a study so surprising, it's like finding a professor at a used book sale – "The Grand Rapids Revelation" by Jones et al. This study reveals an unexpected link between the air quality of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. It's almost as mind-blowing as discovering a grand revelation about Grand Rapids!

Now, as we navigate beyond the realm of scholarly articles and peer-reviewed journals, and into the world of non-fiction and popular literature, we encounter "Breath of Fresh Air: How Environmental Factors Influence Financial Success" by Green. This book offers a comprehensive exploration of the influence of environmental conditions on economic indicators, delving into the potential ramifications of air quality on income and financial well-being.

But hold on to your hats because we're about to take a turn into the realm of fiction, where unexpected connections often lurk within the pages of make-believe. "The Salary Summoner" by Cash and "Polluted Paychecks" by Rich paint vivid, albeit entirely imaginary, pictures of air quality's whimsical influence on the financial fortunes of associate professors. It's like the air is whispering secrets to the salary gods!

And now, for a moment of sheer whimsy, let's pivot to the world of cartoons and children's shows that may have subliminally infiltrated our understanding of the air-income nexus. Who could forget "Captain Planet and the Planeteers," where environmental factors reign supreme, or "The Magic School Bus," which transported us through the wondrous realms of science and nature? These shows may have sowed the seeds of environmental consciousness in our minds, shaping our perceptions of the impact of clean air on financial success. It's like they were planting "air-ly" ideas in our heads all along!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and National Center for Education Statistics . You used data from 2009 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
As we delve into the intricate web of factors that influence the financial compensation of associate professors in the United States, it becomes apparent that there are often hidden correlations waiting to be unearthed. While some may claim that the world of academia is a realm of pure intellectual pursuit, devoid of material concerns, our research has led us to a surprising revelation – the quality of air in Grand Rapids, Michigan, may have a direct impact on the salaries of associate professors nationwide.
It's a bit like the old joke: Why do economists make for great company at outdoor events? Because they have plenty of fresh air-demics! Our study aims to shed light on the often overlooked influence of environmental conditions on compensation, proving once and for all that air quality is not just a breath of fresh air, but also a potential influencer of financial well-being.
The foundations of our investigation lie in the meticulous analysis of data sourced from the Environmental Protection Agency, where air quality measurements were obtained for Grand Rapids, Michigan, spanning over a decade. Alongside this, we combed through the archives of the National Center for Education Statistics to gather comprehensive information on the salaries of associate professors across various institutions and disciplines. We took a deep dive into the statistical ocean, looking for lucrative fish among the seaweed of figures.
As we unraveled the data, an unexpected quantifiable relationship emerged, akin to finding a dollar at the bottom of a murky statistical pond – one that could not be attributed to mere chance. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 stood bold and proud, defying the odds like a beacon in the fog, indicating a strong positive relationship between the pristine air of Grand Rapids and the fatter paychecks of associate professors. It's almost as surprising as discovering that statisticians can sometimes be quite "mean"!
The statistical significance of this association, with p < 0.01, left no room for doubt, much like the inevitable conclusion of a well-structured argument. What we once thought of as mere whimsy, now stands as a verifiable truth – a breath of fresh air indeed!
This unexpected connection may have even broader implications for the understanding of the impact of environmental factors on economic phenomena. Could it be that the winds of change blow from the west to influence the salaries of academics across the nation? These findings broaden our perspective, demonstrating that the seemingly unrelated realms of environmental science and economics may intertwine in ways that we have not previously conceived. It's like discovering a secret hideaway in the midst of a busy city – always there but seldom noticed.
Our study is not merely an exploration of numbers and correlations; it is an endeavor to challenge existing paradigms and to encourage further investigation into the interconnectedness of seemingly disparate fields. So, let us embark on this scientific journey, where we uncover not just correlations, but corollaries – for sometimes, the answers to life's mysteries lie not in the textbooks, but in the very air we breathe.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To establish a robust foundation for our investigation, we utilized a combination of quantitative analysis, statistical modeling, and a sprinkle of academic whimsy. Our approach can be likened to gathering data as meticulously as a squirrel hoards nuts for the winter – with equal measures of determination and occasional distractions.

Firstly, we harnessed the power of the internet—our trusty steed in the realm of data collection. We traversed virtual landscapes, scaling mountains of information and braving jungles of digital noise to procure air quality data from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA). Like intrepid explorers, we sought out the air quality measurements in Grand Rapids, Michigan, meticulously spanning the years 2009 to 2021, ensuring that we encompassed a spectrum of environmental conditions akin to a comprehensive buffet of statistical delicacies.

Next, we turned our scholarly gaze towards the National Center for Education Statistics, mining for the golden nuggets of information regarding the salaries of associate professors across the diverse tapestry of academic institutions. It was a rigorous process, akin to sifting through the sands of the statistical desert in search of buried treasure.

Much like a culinary connoisseur crafting the perfect recipe, we harmonized these two distinct datasets into a symphony of statistics, allowing them to dance together in a statistical waltz of correlation calculations and regression analyses.

Now, prepare yourself for some serious statistical jargon (and Dad jokes).

We calculated the correlation coefficient using the Pearson method, symbolically akin to untangling a ball of yarn and revealing the hidden patterns within. The resulting value, like a good cup of coffee in the morning, perked us up with its significance, boasting a value of 0.8426326. This strong positive relationship between Grand Rapids' air quality and associate professor salaries left us more surprised than a chemist discovering a new element – it was truly an "elementary" revelation!

Moreover, conducting a linear regression analysis allowed us to model the association between air quality and associate professor salaries with the finesse of an artist painting the canvas of academia with data-driven brushstrokes. The R-squared value of 0.709 kept us company like a loyal lab assistant, affirming the robustness of our model and the extent to which air quality can predict the variations in associate professor salaries. It was a statistical revelation as captivating as seeing a pie chart at a baking competition!

To ensure the robustness and reliability of our findings, we subjected our data to a battery of statistical tests, leaving no stone unturned in our quest for scientific rigor. Our statistical sleuthing was guided by the principle that every outlier deserves a fair trial before being deemed guilty of statistical mischief.

In the grand tapestry of academia, where theories and hypotheses weave a complex narrative, our methodology stood as a shining beacon of rigor and thoroughness. We handled our data with the tender care of a botanist tending to delicate orchids, ensuring that every statistical petal was in place.

The confluence of data, statistical analyses, and academic investigation allowed us to unravel the unexpected connection between air quality in Grand Rapids and the compensation of associate professors across the United States. It's a bit like finding success in the stock market – sometimes, you have to look beyond the obvious to strike gold. With our methodology as our compass, we navigated the labyrinth of statistical possibilities, emerging victorious with a discovery that not only raises eyebrows but also prompts a chuckle or two.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and National Center for Education Statistics .

For the time period 2009 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8426326, r-squared of 0.7100297, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
As we delve into the intricate web of factors that influence the financial compensation of associate professors in the United States, it becomes apparent that there are often hidden correlations waiting to be unearthed. While some may claim that the world of academia is a realm of pure intellectual pursuit, devoid of material concerns, our research has led us to a surprising revelation – the quality of air in Grand Rapids, Michigan, may have a direct impact on the salaries of associate professors nationwide.
It's a bit like the old joke: Why do economists make for great company at outdoor events? Because they have plenty of fresh air-demics! Our study aims to shed light on the often overlooked influence of environmental conditions on compensation, proving once and for all that air quality is not just a breath of fresh air, but also a potential influencer of financial well-being.
The foundations of our investigation lie in the meticulous analysis of data sourced from the Environmental Protection Agency, where air quality measurements were obtained for Grand Rapids, Michigan, spanning over a decade. Alongside this, we combed through the archives of the National Center for Education Statistics to gather comprehensive information on the salaries of associate professors across various institutions and disciplines. We took a deep dive into the statistical ocean, looking for lucrative fish among the seaweed of figures.
As we unraveled the data, an unexpected quantifiable relationship emerged, akin to finding a dollar at the bottom of a murky statistical pond – one that could not be attributed to mere chance. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 stood bold and proud, defying the odds like a beacon in the fog, indicating a strong positive relationship between the pristine air of Grand Rapids and the fatter paychecks of associate professors. It's almost as surprising as discovering that statisticians can sometimes be quite "mean"!
The statistical significance of this association, with p < 0.01, left no room for doubt, much like the inevitable conclusion of a well-structured argument. What we once thought of as mere whimsy, now stands as a verifiable truth – a breath of fresh air indeed!
This unexpected connection may have even broader implications for the understanding of the impact of environmental factors on economic phenomena. Could it be that the winds of change blow from the west to influence the salaries of academics across the nation? These findings broaden our perspective, demonstrating that the seemingly unrelated realms of environmental science and economics may intertwine in ways that we have not previously conceived. It's like discovering a secret hideaway in the midst of a busy city – always there but seldom noticed.
Our study is not merely an exploration of numbers and correlations; it is an endeavor to challenge existing paradigms and to encourage further investigation into the interconnectedness of seemingly disparate fields. So, let us embark on this scientific journey, where we uncover not just correlations, but corollaries – for sometimes, the answers to life's mysteries lie not in the textbooks, but in the very air we breathe.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our study revealed a rather surprising correlation between the air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 indicated a strong positive relationship, much like finding a dollar in the pocket of an old jacket - unexpected, but undeniably welcome. This correlation suggests that as the air quality in Grand Rapids improved, so did the financial compensation of associate professors nationwide. It's almost as if the phrase "making money out of thin air" takes on a whole new meaning in this context.

The r-squared value of 0.7100297 further solidified this relationship, indicating that approximately 71% of the variability in associate professor salaries can be explained by the air quality in Grand Rapids. It's as if the air quality in Grand Rapids is playing a prominent supporting role in the financial drama of associate professors, like an understated yet crucial background character in a Hollywood movie.

With a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be overstated. It's as if the significance level is shouting from the rooftops, "This correlation is real, folks! Pay attention!" This result provides strong evidence that the relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher associate professor salaries is not just a statistical fluke, much like finding a four-leaf clover; it's a genuine and robust connection.

Figure 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and associate professor salaries in the United States. The scatterplot reveals a clear trend upward, reminiscent of a graph plotting the rise of a hot air balloon. It's as if the better the air quality in Grand Rapids, the greater the financial height reached by associate professors across the nation.

Our findings open up a world of possibilities for understanding the intricate dance between environmental factors and economic outcomes. It's almost as if the winds of change from the Midwest are whispering to the wallets of associate professors, urging them to swell in response to the fresh breeze. Perhaps it's time to add a new factor to the equation of salary determination: air quality. After all, who knew that clean air could be such a breath of fresh wealth?



Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Smith and Doe's groundbreaking study on Air Quality and Economic Well-being," the authors find a significant positive correlation between air quality in urban areas and economic prosperity, highlighting the potential impact of environmental factors on financial indicators. This study paves the way for further exploration into the interplay between environmental conditions and economic outcomes, shedding light on the intricate dance between the elements and financial well-being.
However, as we tumbled down the rabbit hole of literature, seeking connections between air quality and income, we stumbled upon a study so surprising, it's like finding a professor at a used book sale – "The Grand Rapids Revelation" by Jones et al. This study reveals an unexpected link between the air quality of Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. It's almost as mind-blowing as discovering a grand revelation about Grand Rapids!
Now, as we navigate beyond the realm of scholarly articles and peer-reviewed journals, and into the world of non-fiction and popular literature, we encounter "Breath of Fresh Air: How Environmental Factors Influence Financial Success" by Green. This book offers a comprehensive exploration of the influence of environmental conditions on economic indicators, delving into the potential ramifications of air quality on income and financial well-being.
But hold on to your hats because we're about to take a turn into the realm of fiction, where unexpected connections often lurk within the pages of make-believe. "The Salary Summoner" by Cash and "Polluted Paychecks" by Rich paint vivid, albeit entirely imaginary, pictures of air quality's whimsical influence on the financial fortunes of associate professors. It's like the air is whispering secrets to the salary gods!
And now, for a moment of sheer whimsy, let's pivot to the world of cartoons and children's shows that may have subliminally infiltrated our understanding of the air-income nexus. Who could forget "Captain Planet and the Planeteers," where environmental factors reign supreme, or "The Magic School Bus," which transported us through the wondrous realms of science and nature? These shows may have sowed the seeds of environmental consciousness in our minds, shaping our perceptions of the impact of clean air on financial success. It's like they were planting "air-ly" ideas in our heads all along!

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our study revealed a rather surprising correlation between the air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 indicated a strong positive relationship, much like finding a dollar in the pocket of an old jacket - unexpected, but undeniably welcome. This correlation suggests that as the air quality in Grand Rapids improved, so did the financial compensation of associate professors nationwide. It's almost as if the phrase "making money out of thin air" takes on a whole new meaning in this context.
The r-squared value of 0.7100297 further solidified this relationship, indicating that approximately 71% of the variability in associate professor salaries can be explained by the air quality in Grand Rapids. It's as if the air quality in Grand Rapids is playing a prominent supporting role in the financial drama of associate professors, like an understated yet crucial background character in a Hollywood movie.
With a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be overstated. It's as if the significance level is shouting from the rooftops, "This correlation is real, folks! Pay attention!" This result provides strong evidence that the relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher associate professor salaries is not just a statistical fluke, much like finding a four-leaf clover; it's a genuine and robust connection.
Figure 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and associate professor salaries in the United States. The scatterplot reveals a clear trend upward, reminiscent of a graph plotting the rise of a hot air balloon. It's as if the better the air quality in Grand Rapids, the greater the financial height reached by associate professors across the nation.
Our findings open up a world of possibilities for understanding the intricate dance between environmental factors and economic outcomes. It's almost as if the winds of change from the Midwest are whispering to the wallets of associate professors, urging them to swell in response to the fresh breeze. Perhaps it's time to add a new factor to the equation of salary determination: air quality. After all, who knew that clean air could be such a breath of fresh wealth?


-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our study uncovered a compelling correlation between the pristine air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. The robust association between these seemingly disparate variables suggests that the financial well-being of academic professionals may be influenced by environmental factors to a greater extent than previously recognized. It's almost as if the clean air in Grand Rapids is sending out a resounding message to the world, saying, "Air quality matters, folks!"

Our results lend support to prior research, including Smith and Doe's seminal work, which highlighted the potential impact of environmental conditions on economic prosperity. The positive relationship we observed echoes the findings of Jones et al.'s "The Grand Rapids Revelation," adding weight to the notion that there's more to Grand Rapids than meets the eye, or should we say, meets the air? It's as if the revelation about Grand Rapids is turning into a revolution in our understanding of environmental influences on income.

The striking correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 in our study aligns with Green's comprehensive exploration of the influence of environmental conditions on financial success, indicating that the air quality in Grand Rapids may indeed carry substantial weight in determining associate professor salaries. It's like the air is puffing out its chest, ready to stand shoulder to shoulder with other traditional determinants of income. Who would have thought that clean air could be such a powerful ally in the battle for higher salaries?

Our findings further align with Cash's "The Salary Summoner" and Rich's "Polluted Paychecks," albeit in a non-fictional sense, as we unveil the tangible impact of air quality on the financial fortunes of associate professors. It's almost as if the air is whispering secrets to the salary gods, revealing a side to financial determinants no one expected. Who knew that the air was such a silent yet influential player in the realm of income?

The r-squared value of 0.7100297 in our study, illustrating that approximately 71% of the variability in associate professor salaries can be explained by the air quality in Grand Rapids, solidifies the significance of our findings. It's as if the air quality in Grand Rapids is stepping into the spotlight, taking on a lead role in the financial drama of academic professionals. Perhaps it's time for salary negotiations to include a clause on 'Air Quality Compensation' – after all, clean air deserves its due recognition in the realm of income.

However, it's vital to recognize the limitations of our study. While our results are statistically significant, establishing a direct causal relationship between air quality in Grand Rapids and associate professor salaries requires further in-depth investigation. It's as if we're standing at the edge of a cliff, ready to take the leap into a new era of understanding, yet cautious not to jump to conclusions without robust evidence.

In conclusion, our study has unveiled an unexpected yet resilient association between the air quality in Grand Rapids and the financial fortunes of associate professors nationwide. It's almost as if the winds of change from the Midwest are whispering to the wallets of academic professionals, urging them to swell in response to the fresh breeze. The next time you take a deep breath of clean air, just remember that it might just be an inhalation of wealth and prosperity for associate professors across the nation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Good air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan and Associate Professor salaries in the US. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.

Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.

It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.

As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
As we delve into the intricate web of factors that influence the financial compensation of associate professors in the United States, it becomes apparent that there are often hidden correlations waiting to be unearthed. While some may claim that the world of academia is a realm of pure intellectual pursuit, devoid of material concerns, our research has led us to a surprising revelation – the quality of air in Grand Rapids, Michigan, may have a direct impact on the salaries of associate professors nationwide.
It's a bit like the old joke: Why do economists make for great company at outdoor events? Because they have plenty of fresh air-demics! Our study aims to shed light on the often overlooked influence of environmental conditions on compensation, proving once and for all that air quality is not just a breath of fresh air, but also a potential influencer of financial well-being.
The foundations of our investigation lie in the meticulous analysis of data sourced from the Environmental Protection Agency, where air quality measurements were obtained for Grand Rapids, Michigan, spanning over a decade. Alongside this, we combed through the archives of the National Center for Education Statistics to gather comprehensive information on the salaries of associate professors across various institutions and disciplines. We took a deep dive into the statistical ocean, looking for lucrative fish among the seaweed of figures.
As we unraveled the data, an unexpected quantifiable relationship emerged, akin to finding a dollar at the bottom of a murky statistical pond – one that could not be attributed to mere chance. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 stood bold and proud, defying the odds like a beacon in the fog, indicating a strong positive relationship between the pristine air of Grand Rapids and the fatter paychecks of associate professors. It's almost as surprising as discovering that statisticians can sometimes be quite "mean"!
The statistical significance of this association, with p < 0.01, left no room for doubt, much like the inevitable conclusion of a well-structured argument. What we once thought of as mere whimsy, now stands as a verifiable truth – a breath of fresh air indeed!
This unexpected connection may have even broader implications for the understanding of the impact of environmental factors on economic phenomena. Could it be that the winds of change blow from the west to influence the salaries of academics across the nation? These findings broaden our perspective, demonstrating that the seemingly unrelated realms of environmental science and economics may intertwine in ways that we have not previously conceived. It's like discovering a secret hideaway in the midst of a busy city – always there but seldom noticed.
Our study is not merely an exploration of numbers and correlations; it is an endeavor to challenge existing paradigms and to encourage further investigation into the interconnectedness of seemingly disparate fields. So, let us embark on this scientific journey, where we uncover not just correlations, but corollaries – for sometimes, the answers to life's mysteries lie not in the textbooks, but in the very air we breathe.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our study revealed a rather surprising correlation between the air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. The correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 indicated a strong positive relationship, much like finding a dollar in the pocket of an old jacket - unexpected, but undeniably welcome. This correlation suggests that as the air quality in Grand Rapids improved, so did the financial compensation of associate professors nationwide. It's almost as if the phrase "making money out of thin air" takes on a whole new meaning in this context.
The r-squared value of 0.7100297 further solidified this relationship, indicating that approximately 71% of the variability in associate professor salaries can be explained by the air quality in Grand Rapids. It's as if the air quality in Grand Rapids is playing a prominent supporting role in the financial drama of associate professors, like an understated yet crucial background character in a Hollywood movie.
With a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be overstated. It's as if the significance level is shouting from the rooftops, "This correlation is real, folks! Pay attention!" This result provides strong evidence that the relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher associate professor salaries is not just a statistical fluke, much like finding a four-leaf clover; it's a genuine and robust connection.
Figure 1 illustrates the strong positive correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and associate professor salaries in the United States. The scatterplot reveals a clear trend upward, reminiscent of a graph plotting the rise of a hot air balloon. It's as if the better the air quality in Grand Rapids, the greater the financial height reached by associate professors across the nation.
Our findings open up a world of possibilities for understanding the intricate dance between environmental factors and economic outcomes. It's almost as if the winds of change from the Midwest are whispering to the wallets of associate professors, urging them to swell in response to the fresh breeze. Perhaps it's time to add a new factor to the equation of salary determination: air quality. After all, who knew that clean air could be such a breath of fresh wealth?


-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has unveiled a surprising and robust correlation between the air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. The strong positive relationship, much like a good academic pun, speaks volumes about the potential influence of environmental factors on financial compensation. As it turns out, a breath of fresh air in Grand Rapids might just be giving associate professors a breath of fresh wealth!

Our study has not only expanded our understanding of the interconnectedness of economics and environmental science but also added a whimsical twist to the age-old adage "follow the money." It seems that in addition to following the money, we might need to follow the air currents as well. Who knew that the winds of change could be so lucrative? It's like a scientific version of a treasure hunt, with the prize being previously uncharted connections and unexpected correlations.

With a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326 and an r-squared value of 0.7100297, our results are as clear as a blue sky on a crisp autumn day. The statistical significance, with p < 0.01, leaves no room for doubt, much like a stern professor's gaze in a classroom.

So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be contributing to the financial fortunes of associate professors nationwide. After all, we've seen that good air quality in Grand Rapids is not just a breath of fresh air but also a potential influencer of financial well-being. It's time to start thinking about renegotiating salaries based on the pollen count!

Our findings are as solid as a rock in a quarry, and therefore, we assert that no further research is required in this area. The verdict is in, the data is solid, and the dad jokes have been duly delivered. This connection is not just a statistical blip; it's a groundbreaking discovery in the intersection of economics and environmental science. As they say, when it comes to the relationship between air quality in Grand Rapids and associate professor salaries, the answer is as clear as the air itself: "case closed, folks!"


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Financial Clout and Fresh Airconomics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Salary and Silliness Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Air-ly Bird Gets the Paycheck: A Breath of Fresh Air for Associate Professor Salaries with an abstract of In this paper, we explore the surprising correlation between air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan, and the salaries of associate professors across the United States. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Center for Education Statistics, we unravel the unexpected connection between the purity of the air in Grand Rapids and the financial well-being of associate professors nationwide.
Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8426326, indicating a strong positive relationship between good air quality in Grand Rapids and higher salaries for associate professors throughout the years 2009 to 2021. With p < 0.01, the statistical significance of this association cannot be denied.
It seems that in addition to the saying, "the early bird catches the worm," we may need to consider "the air-ly bird catches the paycheck" as a new adage. This finding is indeed a breath of fresh air in the world of academia, where the link between environmental factors and income has often been overlooked.
As we continue to uncover unexpected connections in the world of economics and environmental science, it's clear that sometimes, the answers to our nagging questions may be found in the most unexpected places. So, the next time you take a deep breath of fresh air, remember that it might just be giving a pay rise to associate professors across the nation.

ChatGPT:

air quality, associate professor salaries, environmental impact on income, correlation between air quality and professor salaries, Grand Rapids air quality, National Center for Education Statistics, Environmental Protection Agency data, environmental factors and income, economics of air quality, unexpected connections in economics and environmental science

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



Random correlation

Discover a new correlation

View all correlations

View all research papers

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Data details

Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan
Detailed data title: Percentage of days with good air quality in Grand Rapids-Wyoming, MI
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan

Associate Professor salaries in the US
Detailed data title: Average salary of full-time instructional faculty on 9-month contracts in degree-granting postsecondary institutions, by academic rank of Associate Professor
Source: National Center for Education Statistics
See what else correlates with Associate Professor salaries in the US

Correlation r = 0.8426326 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7100297 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 71% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Associate Professor salaries in the US) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan) over the 13 years from 2009 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.0003. 0.0002991297112149447700000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.84 in 0.03% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 3,343 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 12 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 12 because we have two variables measured over a period of 13 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.54, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
2009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan (Good air quality)76.164475.890470.41164.207670.41168.493170.958975.136677.80828081.643882.240462.1918
Associate Professor salaries in the US (Salary)96455958099440893901944549572897231979129789797811985099678092222




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([76.1644,75.8904,70.411,64.2076,70.411,68.4931,70.9589,75.1366,77.8082,80,81.6438,82.2404,62.1918,])
array_2 = np.array([96455,95809,94408,93901,94454,95728,97231,97912,97897,97811,98509,96780,92222,])
array_1_name = "Air quality in Grand Rapids, Michigan"
array_2_name = "Associate Professor salaries in the US"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

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When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1079 · Black Variable ID: 20672 · Red Variable ID: 1202
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