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Spurious correlation #1,066 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Neptune and Saturn and the second variable is The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the gap between these two celestial bodies closed in, it created a gravitational flux that specifically targeted Louisiana. This led to a statewide shortage of helium, making it impossible to continue inflating all the balloons necessary for classroom decor. Without a ballooning budget, the demand for kindergarten teachers deflated faster than a popped balloon at a birthday party. It seems even in the vastness of space, Neptune and Saturn couldn't resist a little "classroom chaos" of their own. Guess you could say the job market for kindergarten teachers in Louisiana really hit rock-bottom, or should I say, outer-space-bottom! The struggle was real, or should I say, intergalactic!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a classroom with a childlike, cartoony style, infused with parallax art techniques. The scene centers around a solar system model hanging from the ceiling, depicting small, colorful planets like Neptune and Saturn. As the planets move closer together, a ripple effect spreads out, depicting cosmic radiation intensifying. In the background, preschoolers in Louisiana are shown exhibiting superpowers, such as levitating crayons and building blocks. Kindergarten teachers scratch their heads in confusion, while others are seen contemplating capes and costumes as they transition to superhero counseling and training. Some teachers are shown leaving the classroom in search of new adventures, conveying a sense of wonder and excitement in the dynamic and engaging scene. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: The decrease in the distance between Neptune and Saturn disrupted the gravitational balance in the solar system, causing an increase in cosmic radiation. This radiation, in turn, led to a rise in the population of preschoolers with superpowers, making kindergarten teachers in Louisiana feel inadequate and leading to a decrease in their numbers as they sought alternative career paths in superhero counseling and training.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Macabre Hyper-realistic Low poly Parallax art A photo-realistic image
ChatGPT: Parallax art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. The decrease in the distance between Neptune and Saturn disrupted the gravitational balance in the solar system, causing an increase in cosmic radiation. This radiation, in turn, led to a rise in the population of preschoolers with superpowers, making kindergarten teachers in Louisiana feel inadequate and leading to a decrease in their numbers as they sought alternative career paths in superhero counseling and training.
ChatGPT: Imagine a solar system model in a classroom, with small hanging planets like Neptune and Saturn. As the planets move closer together, a ripple effect is seen as cosmic radiation intensifies. Preschoolers in Louisiana begin to exhibit superpowers like levitating crayons and building blocks, causing kindergarten teachers to scratch their heads in confusion. Some teachers start considering capes and costumes, as they transition to superhero counseling and training, leaving the classroom in search of new adventures.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Parallax art ] and depicting this scene: Imagine a solar system model in a classroom, with small hanging planets like Neptune and Saturn. As the planets move closer together, a ripple effect is seen as cosmic radiation intensifies. Preschoolers in Louisiana begin to exhibit superpowers like levitating crayons and building blocks, causing kindergarten teachers to scratch their heads in confusion. Some teachers start considering capes and costumes, as they transition to superhero counseling and training, leaving the classroom in search of new adventures. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a classroom with a childlike, cartoony style, infused with parallax art techniques. The scene centers around a solar system model hanging from the ceiling, depicting small, colorful planets like Neptune and Saturn. As the planets move closer together, a ripple effect spreads out, depicting cosmic radiation intensifying. In the background, preschoolers in Louisiana are shown exhibiting superpowers, such as levitating crayons and building blocks. Kindergarten teachers scratch their heads in confusion, while others are seen contemplating capes and costumes as they transition to superhero counseling and training. Some teachers are shown leaving the classroom in search of new adventures, conveying a sense of wonder and excitement in the dynamic and engaging scene.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Neptune and Saturn caused The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

The Journal of Irreverent Astrophysics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, make it sound serious.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to the cosmic cabaret where we present our findings on the unlikely dance between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. As we embark on this celestial sleuthing, it's quite evident that we're venturing into uncharted astronomical and educational territories.

Traditionally, when one thinks of the cosmos, images of swirling galaxies and distant planets come to mind, not the number of educators wrangling energetic bundles of joy in the Pelican State. And yet, here we are, peering into the great expanse of space to illuminate the earthly domain of kindergarten education.

It is no secret that when it comes to the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs, astrologers have historically laid claim to foresight and fortune-telling. However, astrology is not our aim. We are firmly grounded in the realm of scientific inquiry, seeking to unravel the mystery of how the cosmic barycenter (the center of mass of the solar system) might be throwing its weight around in the classroom.

So, grab your telescopes and your textbooks as we delve into the cosmos and the classroom, where the stars might just have a hand in shaping the minds of our youngest learners.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to the cosmic cabaret where we present our findings on the unlikely dance between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. As we embark on this celestial sleuthing, it's quite evident that we're venturing into uncharted astronomical and educational territories.
Traditionally, when one thinks of the cosmos, images of swirling galaxies and distant planets come to mind, not the number of educators wrangling energetic bundles of joy in the Pelican State. And yet, here we are, peering into the great expanse of space to illuminate the earthly domain of kindergarten education.
It is no secret that when it comes to the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs, astrologers have historically laid claim to foresight and fortune-telling. However, astrology is not our aim. We are firmly grounded in the realm of scientific inquiry, seeking to unravel the mystery of how the cosmic barycenter (the center of mass of the solar system) might be throwing its weight around in the classroom.
So, grab your telescopes and your textbooks as we delve into the cosmos and the classroom, where the stars might just have a hand in shaping the minds of our youngest learners.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

Studies dating back to Smith (2008) and Doe (2012) have long sought to examine the potential link between celestial phenomena and earthly occurrences. While their work primarily focused on more conventional connections such as weather patterns and agricultural productivity, our foray into this uncharted territory represents a bold leap beyond the conventional constraints of academic inquiry.

In "The Celestial Clues: Unraveling the Mysteries of Planetary Influences on Human Affairs," the authors hypothesize about the potential impact of planetary positions on human behavior and societal dynamics. However, little did they know, our research would extend this inquiry into the realm of education, specifically the domain of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana.

Moving beyond traditional academic papers and research, our investigation also drew inspiration from a variety of non-fiction sources, such as "Astrophysics for Young People in a Hurry" by Neil deGrasse Tyson and "The Economics of Education" by Daniele Checchi. While seemingly unrelated, these works laid the foundation for our interdisciplinary approach, challenging us to consider the unexpected intersections between the cosmic and the mundane.

Venturing further into the depths of literature, we encounter fictional accounts that, while not directly related to our topic, offer captivating narratives on celestial bodies and educational settings. Titles such as "Neptune's Nursery: Tales from the Galactic Kindergarten" and "Saturn's Schoolyard Shenanigans" transport readers to imaginative realms where interstellar distances converge with the everyday chaos of kindergarten classrooms, sparking our imagination and prompting questions that transcend the boundaries of reality.

As we tread the fine line between academia and amusement, it would be remiss not to acknowledge the influence of childhood cartoons and shows featuring intergalactic adventures and educational endeavors. From "The Magic School Bus" to "SpongeBob SquarePants," these beloved childhood classics have consistently intertwined cosmic curiosities with the trials and tribulations of teaching, planting the seeds of fascination that ultimately inspired this groundbreaking research.

In light of these diverse influences, our literature review sets the stage for our investigation into the unexpected correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana, shedding light on a phenomenon that defies conventional explanation and invites further exploration into the cosmic classroom.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to the cosmic cabaret where we present our findings on the unlikely dance between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. As we embark on this celestial sleuthing, it's quite evident that we're venturing into uncharted astronomical and educational territories.
Traditionally, when one thinks of the cosmos, images of swirling galaxies and distant planets come to mind, not the number of educators wrangling energetic bundles of joy in the Pelican State. And yet, here we are, peering into the great expanse of space to illuminate the earthly domain of kindergarten education.
It is no secret that when it comes to the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs, astrologers have historically laid claim to foresight and fortune-telling. However, astrology is not our aim. We are firmly grounded in the realm of scientific inquiry, seeking to unravel the mystery of how the cosmic barycenter (the center of mass of the solar system) might be throwing its weight around in the classroom.
So, grab your telescopes and your textbooks as we delve into the cosmos and the classroom, where the stars might just have a hand in shaping the minds of our youngest learners.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the cosmic conundrum of the potential relationship between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana, our research team employed a multifaceted and rigorous methodology. The data collection phase involved casting a wide net across the internet, akin to the cosmic fabric itself, to gather relevant statistics and figures. We mostly relied on data from Astropy, the celestial compendium of astronomical information, and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, the terrestrial repository of labor-related data.

The first step in our data collection method involved donning our imaginary spacesuits and embarking on a virtual journey through the digital cosmos to obtain precise measurements of the Neptune-Saturn distance over the 2003-2022 period. We utilized Astropy to calculate and extract accurate data on the celestial positions of these distant planetary neighbors.

Next, we set our sights on the earthly realm by tapping into the Bureau of Labor Statistics to procure extensive data on the employment figures for kindergarten teachers in Louisiana during the same timeframe. We meticulously combed through the datasets, ensuring our findings were as clean and polished as the lenses of a space telescope.

With our celestial and terrestrial datasets in hand, we engaged in a practice that could rival the intricacy of cosmic choreography: data cleaning and preparation. We meticulously sifted through the data, filtering out any extraneous outliers and eclipsing any potential errors that may have crept into our dataset like rogue asteroids in the cosmic expanse.

Following this rigorous process, we huddled around our metaphorical astronomical campfire to analyze the data. Utilizing sophisticated statistical techniques, including correlation analysis and regression models, we sought to unravel the cosmic threads linking the positions of Neptune and Saturn to the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Our statistical prowess helped us quantify the strength of the relationship and determine the statistical significance of our findings.

Finally, to ensure the robustness and reliability of our results, we employed a battery of sensitivity analyses and model validations, akin to conducting a grand cosmic symphony, to test the stability and generalizability of our findings. Our methods were as precise as navigating an interstellar spacecraft through a celestial minefield, ensuring that our results were not merely cosmic coincidences but reflective of a genuine relationship.

In sum, our methodology mirrored the complexity of the cosmic ballet we sought to unravel, drawing from both celestial and terrestrial realms to shed light on the unexpected nexus between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the earthly domain of kindergarten education in Louisiana.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9294681, r-squared of 0.8639109, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to the cosmic cabaret where we present our findings on the unlikely dance between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. As we embark on this celestial sleuthing, it's quite evident that we're venturing into uncharted astronomical and educational territories.
Traditionally, when one thinks of the cosmos, images of swirling galaxies and distant planets come to mind, not the number of educators wrangling energetic bundles of joy in the Pelican State. And yet, here we are, peering into the great expanse of space to illuminate the earthly domain of kindergarten education.
It is no secret that when it comes to the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs, astrologers have historically laid claim to foresight and fortune-telling. However, astrology is not our aim. We are firmly grounded in the realm of scientific inquiry, seeking to unravel the mystery of how the cosmic barycenter (the center of mass of the solar system) might be throwing its weight around in the classroom.
So, grab your telescopes and your textbooks as we delve into the cosmos and the classroom, where the stars might just have a hand in shaping the minds of our youngest learners.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

In analyzing the data collected from 2003 to 2022, we discovered a striking correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. The correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 suggests a strong positive relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Not to mention, the r-squared value of 0.8639109 indicates that a whopping 86.39% of the variance in the number of kindergarten teachers can be explained by the cosmic dance between Neptune and Saturn. With a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this relationship is not just statistically significant, but cosmically compelling. It's safe to say that our findings have truly defied astronomical expectations!

To visually encapsulate this cosmic connection, we present the pièce de résistance – Fig. 1. Behold the scatterplot that captures the mesmerizing relationship between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Yes, the graph itself is a celestial wonder, showcasing how the ebb and flow of cosmic distances mysteriously align with the educational fabric of Louisiana's kindergartens.

In light of these unexpected findings, we can't help but speculate the potential forces at play. Could it be that the gravitational tug-of-war between Neptune and Saturn is influencing the decision-making process of aspiring kindergarten teachers, drawing them to or repelling them from Louisiana? Or perhaps there’s a cosmic teaching consortium that convenes when these distant gas giants are in a particular alignment, affecting the employment landscape for kindergarten educators? The possibilities are as vast and enigmatic as the universe itself.

Our findings not only challenge conventional scientific wisdom but also encourage educators and policymakers to consider the cosmic context in their workforce planning for early childhood education. The universe may indeed hold cosmic secrets that echo into our earthly endeavors, particularly in shaping the educational landscape for our youngest learners. As we continue to explore the cosmic classroom, it's clear that the stars might just align in more ways than one.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Studies dating back to Smith (2008) and Doe (2012) have long sought to examine the potential link between celestial phenomena and earthly occurrences. While their work primarily focused on more conventional connections such as weather patterns and agricultural productivity, our foray into this uncharted territory represents a bold leap beyond the conventional constraints of academic inquiry.
In "The Celestial Clues: Unraveling the Mysteries of Planetary Influences on Human Affairs," the authors hypothesize about the potential impact of planetary positions on human behavior and societal dynamics. However, little did they know, our research would extend this inquiry into the realm of education, specifically the domain of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana.
Moving beyond traditional academic papers and research, our investigation also drew inspiration from a variety of non-fiction sources, such as "Astrophysics for Young People in a Hurry" by Neil deGrasse Tyson and "The Economics of Education" by Daniele Checchi. While seemingly unrelated, these works laid the foundation for our interdisciplinary approach, challenging us to consider the unexpected intersections between the cosmic and the mundane.
Venturing further into the depths of literature, we encounter fictional accounts that, while not directly related to our topic, offer captivating narratives on celestial bodies and educational settings. Titles such as "Neptune's Nursery: Tales from the Galactic Kindergarten" and "Saturn's Schoolyard Shenanigans" transport readers to imaginative realms where interstellar distances converge with the everyday chaos of kindergarten classrooms, sparking our imagination and prompting questions that transcend the boundaries of reality.
As we tread the fine line between academia and amusement, it would be remiss not to acknowledge the influence of childhood cartoons and shows featuring intergalactic adventures and educational endeavors. From "The Magic School Bus" to "SpongeBob SquarePants," these beloved childhood classics have consistently intertwined cosmic curiosities with the trials and tribulations of teaching, planting the seeds of fascination that ultimately inspired this groundbreaking research.
In light of these diverse influences, our literature review sets the stage for our investigation into the unexpected correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana, shedding light on a phenomenon that defies conventional explanation and invites further exploration into the cosmic classroom.

[[RESULTS]]
In analyzing the data collected from 2003 to 2022, we discovered a striking correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. The correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 suggests a strong positive relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Not to mention, the r-squared value of 0.8639109 indicates that a whopping 86.39% of the variance in the number of kindergarten teachers can be explained by the cosmic dance between Neptune and Saturn. With a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this relationship is not just statistically significant, but cosmically compelling. It's safe to say that our findings have truly defied astronomical expectations!
To visually encapsulate this cosmic connection, we present the pièce de résistance – Fig. 1. Behold the scatterplot that captures the mesmerizing relationship between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Yes, the graph itself is a celestial wonder, showcasing how the ebb and flow of cosmic distances mysteriously align with the educational fabric of Louisiana's kindergartens.
In light of these unexpected findings, we can't help but speculate the potential forces at play. Could it be that the gravitational tug-of-war between Neptune and Saturn is influencing the decision-making process of aspiring kindergarten teachers, drawing them to or repelling them from Louisiana? Or perhaps there’s a cosmic teaching consortium that convenes when these distant gas giants are in a particular alignment, affecting the employment landscape for kindergarten educators? The possibilities are as vast and enigmatic as the universe itself.
Our findings not only challenge conventional scientific wisdom but also encourage educators and policymakers to consider the cosmic context in their workforce planning for early childhood education. The universe may indeed hold cosmic secrets that echo into our earthly endeavors, particularly in shaping the educational landscape for our youngest learners. As we continue to explore the cosmic classroom, it's clear that the stars might just align in more ways than one.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our results have unearthed a cosmic connection that can't be simply dismissed as sheer astronomical happenstance. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681, our findings provide compelling evidence that the dance between Neptune and Saturn has a substantial influence on the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. This substantiates the work of Smith (2008) and Doe (2012), who first dabbled in linking celestial positions to earthly phenomena, though I doubt they ever anticipated a correlation this out of this world.

Drawing from the literature review, our findings echo the non-fictional inspirations of "Astrophysics for Young People in a Hurry" by Neil deGrasse Tyson and "The Economics of Education" by Daniele Checchi, merging the cosmic and the mundane. Who would have thought that the celestial ballet of Neptune and Saturn could impact the earthly choreography of kindergarten education in Louisiana? It seems that the universe has more than just gravity up its sleeves.

Upon reflection, perhaps those childhood shows like "The Magic School Bus" and "SpongeBob SquarePants" were trying to tell us something all along – there's more to the cosmic dance than meets the eye. They might have sown the seeds of fascination that ultimately led us to uncover this groundbreaking correlation. So next time someone asks why kindergarten teachers are flocking to Louisiana, you can now confidently quip, "It's all in the stars!"

In the spirit of interdisciplinary exploration, our discovery lays the groundwork for further investigation into the cosmic influence on educational landscapes. This unexpected correlation challenges traditional views and encourages us to consider the cosmic context in educational workforce planning. Who knows, perhaps the alignment of planets holds the key to unlocking the mysteries of the educational cosmos. After all, the universe never ceases to surprise us with its cosmic class acts!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and Saturn and The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Welcome, esteemed colleagues, to the cosmic cabaret where we present our findings on the unlikely dance between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. As we embark on this celestial sleuthing, it's quite evident that we're venturing into uncharted astronomical and educational territories.
Traditionally, when one thinks of the cosmos, images of swirling galaxies and distant planets come to mind, not the number of educators wrangling energetic bundles of joy in the Pelican State. And yet, here we are, peering into the great expanse of space to illuminate the earthly domain of kindergarten education.
It is no secret that when it comes to the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs, astrologers have historically laid claim to foresight and fortune-telling. However, astrology is not our aim. We are firmly grounded in the realm of scientific inquiry, seeking to unravel the mystery of how the cosmic barycenter (the center of mass of the solar system) might be throwing its weight around in the classroom.
So, grab your telescopes and your textbooks as we delve into the cosmos and the classroom, where the stars might just have a hand in shaping the minds of our youngest learners.

[[RESULTS]]
In analyzing the data collected from 2003 to 2022, we discovered a striking correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. The correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 suggests a strong positive relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. Not to mention, the r-squared value of 0.8639109 indicates that a whopping 86.39% of the variance in the number of kindergarten teachers can be explained by the cosmic dance between Neptune and Saturn. With a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this relationship is not just statistically significant, but cosmically compelling. It's safe to say that our findings have truly defied astronomical expectations!
To visually encapsulate this cosmic connection, we present the pièce de résistance – Fig. 1. Behold the scatterplot that captures the mesmerizing relationship between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. Yes, the graph itself is a celestial wonder, showcasing how the ebb and flow of cosmic distances mysteriously align with the educational fabric of Louisiana's kindergartens.
In light of these unexpected findings, we can't help but speculate the potential forces at play. Could it be that the gravitational tug-of-war between Neptune and Saturn is influencing the decision-making process of aspiring kindergarten teachers, drawing them to or repelling them from Louisiana? Or perhaps there’s a cosmic teaching consortium that convenes when these distant gas giants are in a particular alignment, affecting the employment landscape for kindergarten educators? The possibilities are as vast and enigmatic as the universe itself.
Our findings not only challenge conventional scientific wisdom but also encourage educators and policymakers to consider the cosmic context in their workforce planning for early childhood education. The universe may indeed hold cosmic secrets that echo into our earthly endeavors, particularly in shaping the educational landscape for our youngest learners. As we continue to explore the cosmic classroom, it's clear that the stars might just align in more ways than one.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has shed light on a cosmic connection that's truly out of this world – the correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. It's as if distant planets and early childhood education have formed a celestial tango, with the movements of celestial bodies orchestrating the dance of educators in the Bayou State.

As we wrap up this astronomical escapade, it's worth noting that while our findings may seem light-years away from conventional educational research, they have sparked cosmic chatter within the scientific community. It's not every day that a correlation coefficient nearly reaches unity due to the cosmic waltz between two gaseous giants.

With such surprising results, it might be tempting to launch a flurry of follow-up studies exploring the cosmic implications on other educational realms. However, we stand firm in our conclusion that no further research is necessary in this domain. After all, we've touched the stars and kindergartens – what more could the cosmic classroom offer us? It's time to let these findings orbit in the academic universe, leaving us with an everlasting, enigmatic grin.

In the grand scheme of educational research, our study might just be the most far-out yet. As we bid adieu to this cosmic journey, we urge fellow scholars to keep an eye on the skies. After all, you never know when the next cosmic correlation might dawn upon us. But for now, it's time to close the book on this cosmic tale, as the stars themselves seem to spell "THE END" in the cosmic constellations.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Irreverent Astrophysics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Planetary Education and Teacher Placement


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Cosmic Classroom: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance from Neptune to Saturn and the Number of Kindergarten Teachers in Louisiana with an abstract of In this study, we venture beyond the bounds of traditional research to ascertain the unexpected relationship between the celestial and the terrestrial. Leveraging data from Astropy and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our team has uncovered a startling correlation between the distance from Neptune to Saturn and the number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9294681 and statistically significant p-value (< 0.01) for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022, our findings defy conventional wisdom. We delve into the potential implications of this cosmic influence on earthly educational landscapes, and discuss potential mechanisms underlying this enigmatic correlation. Our exploration of this unique interplay between astronomical positioning and educational employment provides fresh insights and encourages a broader perspective, proving that sometimes the universe's alignment might just affect the alignment of our classrooms.

ChatGPT:

Neptune, Saturn, Louisiana, kindergarten teachers, correlation, distance, Astropy, celestial, terrestrial, Bureau of Labor Statistics, astronomical positioning, educational employment, correlation coefficient, p-value, cosmic influence, educational landscapes, alignment, universe, celestial bodies, teaching profession

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Neptune and Saturn
Detailed data title: The average distance between Neptune and Saturn as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Neptune and Saturn

The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of kindergarten teachers, except special education in Louisiana
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana

Correlation r = 0.9294681 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8639109 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 86.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Neptune and Saturn) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 3.2E-9. 0.0000000031702134263492108000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.93 in 3.2E-7% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 315,436,176 random variables You don't actually need 315 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.83, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
The distance between Neptune and Saturn (Planetary distance (AU))37.512838.300138.848739.153539.215139.039638.639138.028837.22636.247735.11833.857232.487431.029229.51527.973426.439124.951523.568722.3502
The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana (Laborers)3270351033803210333030303900385039002990216023702450255017608201902202001060




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([37.5128,38.3001,38.8487,39.1535,39.2151,39.0396,38.6391,38.0288,37.226,36.2477,35.118,33.8572,32.4874,31.0292,29.515,27.9734,26.4391,24.9515,23.5687,22.3502,])
array_2 = np.array([3270,3510,3380,3210,3330,3030,3900,3850,3900,2990,2160,2370,2450,2550,1760,820,190,220,200,1060,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Neptune and Saturn"
array_2_name = "The number of kindergarten teachers in Louisiana"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1066 · Black Variable ID: 1965 · Red Variable ID: 8664
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