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Spurious correlation #1,035 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Neptune and the Sun and the second variable is Burglary rates in the US.  The chart goes from 1985 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As Neptune cozied up to the Sun, its frigid temperatures and gaseous composition somehow emitted an anti-burglar force field. Criminals found themselves inexplicably drawn to the outskirts of the solar system, leaving Earth's neighborhoods surprisingly secure. It seems even the god of the sea has a knack for protecting earthly possessions.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a small model of the solar system with the Sun in the center, surrounded by orbiting planets. Position Neptune at its closest point to the Sun, and include a miniature replica of a neighborhood nearby. The houses in the neighborhood should have their windows and doors securely locked. Add a subtle shift in the security system, with more alarm systems and security cameras installed. This scene should suggest a correlation between Neptune's proximity to the Sun and the decrease in burglary rates, hinting at possible interplanetary security measures at play. The visual depiction should be simple and without any words or speech bubbles. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: "Neptune's Proximity to Sun Linked to Decrease in Burglary Rates: Interplanetary Security Measures at Play?". Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Scalar art Cubism Celtic art An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie Futuristic
ChatGPT: Futuristic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. "Neptune's Proximity to Sun Linked to Decrease in Burglary Rates: Interplanetary Security Measures at Play?"
ChatGPT: Imagine a small model of the solar system with the Sun in the center and each planet orbiting around it. Position Neptune at its closest point to the Sun and have a miniature replica of a neighborhood nearby. The houses in the neighborhood have their windows and doors securely locked. There's a subtle shift in the security system, with more alarm systems and security cameras installed. This scene suggests a correlation between Neptune's proximity to the Sun and the decrease in burglary rates, possibly hinting at some interplanetary security measures at play.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Futuristic ] and depicting this scene: Imagine a small model of the solar system with the Sun in the center and each planet orbiting around it. Position Neptune at its closest point to the Sun and have a miniature replica of a neighborhood nearby. The houses in the neighborhood have their windows and doors securely locked. There's a subtle shift in the security system, with more alarm systems and security cameras installed. This scene suggests a correlation between Neptune's proximity to the Sun and the decrease in burglary rates, possibly hinting at some interplanetary security measures at play. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a small model of the solar system with the Sun in the center, surrounded by orbiting planets. Position Neptune at its closest point to the Sun, and include a miniature replica of a neighborhood nearby. The houses in the neighborhood should have their windows and doors securely locked. Add a subtle shift in the security system, with more alarm systems and security cameras installed. This scene should suggest a correlation between Neptune's proximity to the Sun and the decrease in burglary rates, hinting at possible interplanetary security measures at play. The visual depiction should be simple and without any words or speech bubbles.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Neptune and the Sun caused Burglary rates to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

The Journal of Planetary Criminology

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and p < 0.01 for 1985 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The study of crime and criminology has long been an area of interest for researchers, policymakers, and the general public. While traditional studies have focused on societal, economic, and psychological factors, our investigation takes a celestial turn, exploring the potential influence of Neptune's location on burglary rates. This peculiar intersection of astronomy and crime may appear unconventional, but as we delve deeper into the data, we find a correlation that is truly out of this world.

In this paper, we present the remarkable findings from our analysis of the relationship between the position of Neptune in its orbit and burglary rates on Earth. While some may argue that this connection is as distant as the eighth planet from the sun, our investigation suggests otherwise. By employing rigorous statistical methods and astronomical data, we aim to shed light on this unexpected correlation.

The idea of a distant planet exerting influences on criminal behavior may sound like a far-fetched concept, akin to a plot twist in a sci-fi thriller. However, as we peel back the layers of celestial phenomena and criminal tendencies, we uncover a compelling story that may challenge our preconceptions of causality. This study sets its sights on capturing the attention of not only criminologists and astronomers but also those with an appetite for cosmic curiosities and statistical surprises.

As we embark on this celestial caper, it is essential to maintain a critical and inquisitive mindset. While the connection we propose may seem like a cosmic coincidence, our statistical analysis paints a picture that is both thought-provoking and statistically relevant. Join us on this astronomical escapade, as we venture into the depths of data to unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on criminal ambition.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then cite some social media posts you read that seem to be related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The study of crime and criminology has long been an area of interest for researchers, policymakers, and the general public. While traditional studies have focused on societal, economic, and psychological factors, our investigation takes a celestial turn, exploring the potential influence of Neptune's location on burglary rates. This peculiar intersection of astronomy and crime may appear unconventional, but as we delve deeper into the data, we find a correlation that is truly out of this world.
In this paper, we present the remarkable findings from our analysis of the relationship between the position of Neptune in its orbit and burglary rates on Earth. While some may argue that this connection is as distant as the eighth planet from the sun, our investigation suggests otherwise. By employing rigorous statistical methods and astronomical data, we aim to shed light on this unexpected correlation.
The idea of a distant planet exerting influences on criminal behavior may sound like a far-fetched concept, akin to a plot twist in a sci-fi thriller. However, as we peel back the layers of celestial phenomena and criminal tendencies, we uncover a compelling story that may challenge our preconceptions of causality. This study sets its sights on capturing the attention of not only criminologists and astronomers but also those with an appetite for cosmic curiosities and statistical surprises.
As we embark on this celestial caper, it is essential to maintain a critical and inquisitive mindset. While the connection we propose may seem like a cosmic coincidence, our statistical analysis paints a picture that is both thought-provoking and statistically relevant. Join us on this astronomical escapade, as we venture into the depths of data to unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on criminal ambition.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The connection between astronomical phenomena and human behavior has been a topic of curiosity and speculation for centuries. While the bulk of research has historically focused on societal, economic, and psychological determinants of crime, our investigation takes a unique approach by exploring the potential influence of Neptune's distance from the Sun on burglary rates. This unconventional pursuit of correlation leads us to examine a variety of literature, ranging from scholarly articles to fictional works and even social media musings.

In "Planetary Positions and Their Impact on Human Behavior," Smith et al. delve into the cosmic dance of planets and their hypothesized effects on terrestrial affairs. While their work primarily focuses on astrological beliefs and cultural interpretations rather than empirical evidence, it offers a starting point for our exploration of the potential link between celestial positioning and criminal activity.

Doe and Jones, in "Celestial Mechanics and its Influence on Earthly Matters," discuss the gravitational interactions among celestial bodies and their potential implications for earthly events. While their work primarily concentrates on the physical dynamics of the solar system, it provides a foundation for considering the potential influence of planetary positions on human behavior, even if their focus leans more toward celestial mechanics than criminal statistics.

Moving beyond strictly academic sources, non-fiction books such as "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People" and "Cosmic Coincidences: Dark Matter, Mankind, and Anthropic Cosmology" offer perspectives on the intertwined nature of the universe and human existence. While these works do not explicitly address criminal behavior, they prompt contemplation of cosmic connections to earthly affairs.

In the realm of fiction, novels such as "Neptune Rising: A Mystery in Space" and "The Burglar's Guide to the Galaxy" by renowned authors bring imagination and intrigue to the intersection of celestial bodies and criminal endeavors. While these works belong to the realms of creativity and storytelling, their titles alone invite playful contemplation of cosmic influences on human activities, including unlawful ones.

More unexpectedly, certain social media posts have indirectly contributed to the discourse on the connection between celestial bodies and criminal intent. From musings about Neptune's astrological influences to memes juxtaposing planetary positions with true crime scenarios, these informal online conversations provide a fascinating glimpse into popular perceptions of the cosmic-crime amalgamation.

As we navigate through this diverse assortment of literature, it becomes apparent that the intersection of celestial phenomena and criminal behavior is not strictly confined to the academic domain. The varying perspectives offered by these sources not only add depth to our investigation but also infuse a sense of cosmic curiosity and whimsy into an otherwise rigid statistical inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1985 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The study of crime and criminology has long been an area of interest for researchers, policymakers, and the general public. While traditional studies have focused on societal, economic, and psychological factors, our investigation takes a celestial turn, exploring the potential influence of Neptune's location on burglary rates. This peculiar intersection of astronomy and crime may appear unconventional, but as we delve deeper into the data, we find a correlation that is truly out of this world.
In this paper, we present the remarkable findings from our analysis of the relationship between the position of Neptune in its orbit and burglary rates on Earth. While some may argue that this connection is as distant as the eighth planet from the sun, our investigation suggests otherwise. By employing rigorous statistical methods and astronomical data, we aim to shed light on this unexpected correlation.
The idea of a distant planet exerting influences on criminal behavior may sound like a far-fetched concept, akin to a plot twist in a sci-fi thriller. However, as we peel back the layers of celestial phenomena and criminal tendencies, we uncover a compelling story that may challenge our preconceptions of causality. This study sets its sights on capturing the attention of not only criminologists and astronomers but also those with an appetite for cosmic curiosities and statistical surprises.
As we embark on this celestial caper, it is essential to maintain a critical and inquisitive mindset. While the connection we propose may seem like a cosmic coincidence, our statistical analysis paints a picture that is both thought-provoking and statistically relevant. Join us on this astronomical escapade, as we venture into the depths of data to unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on criminal ambition.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection:
To ascertain the position of Neptune in its celestial journey, we turned to the trusty Astropy library, which provided us with precise coordinates and ephemerides of this icy giant over the years 1985 to 2022. Likewise, in the earthly realm, we gathered burglary rates from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, relying on their comprehensive data to analyze criminal tendencies on our home planet.

Statistical Analysis:
Our statistical journey began with the calculation of Neptune's heliocentric distance, which served as the independent variable in our analysis. For the dependent variable, we harnessed the burglary rates, meticulously sifting through the data to ensure accuracy and reliability. To establish a relationship between these celestial and terrestrial factors, we employed Pearson's correlation coefficient, enabling us to quantitatively measure the strength and direction of the association. Additionally, we conducted a regression analysis, fitting models to the data to dissect the nuances of this unexpected correlation.

Control Variables and Model Selection:
In any respectable research endeavor, controlling for confounding factors is essential. In our study, we accounted for variables such as socioeconomic conditions, urban density, and policing efforts to isolate the cosmic influence of Neptune's position. Furthermore, we tested various regression models, from simple linear to multivariate, to uncover the most fitting representation of the data. Like astronomers scanning the skies for elusive phenomena, we meticulously assessed each model's predictive power and goodness of fit.

Assumptions and Limitations:
While our investigation brims with cosmic intrigue and statistical finesse, it is not devoid of limitations. The assumed linearity between Neptune's distance and burglary rates may not encapsulate the full complexity of this enigmatic relationship. Moreover, the potential for omitted variables and sample biases looms as a shadow over our findings, like an elusive planet yet to be discovered. Nonetheless, we tread forth with cautious optimism, acknowledging the inherent uncertainties of scientific inquiry.

Ethical Considerations:
In our zealous pursuit of understanding the celestial-terrestrial interplay, we never lost sight of ethical responsibilities. The usage of data was conducted with the utmost respect for privacy and confidentiality, aligning with the ethical guidelines governing research practices. We also recognize the significance of transparent and replicable methodologies in fostering scientific integrity, aiming to contribute to the collective knowledge with integrity and rigor.

In the realm of research, the fusion of imagination and methodological precision yields discoveries that transcend the ordinary. With eyes turned skyward and feet planted firmly on the ground, we embarked on this cosmic caper, unearthing a correlation that may very well be the quirk of our cosmic neighborhood. As we unveil our results, our hope is to ignite curiosity and spark further investigations into the unanticipated connections between celestial mechanics and criminal proclivities.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1985 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9693590, r-squared of 0.9396569, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The study of crime and criminology has long been an area of interest for researchers, policymakers, and the general public. While traditional studies have focused on societal, economic, and psychological factors, our investigation takes a celestial turn, exploring the potential influence of Neptune's location on burglary rates. This peculiar intersection of astronomy and crime may appear unconventional, but as we delve deeper into the data, we find a correlation that is truly out of this world.
In this paper, we present the remarkable findings from our analysis of the relationship between the position of Neptune in its orbit and burglary rates on Earth. While some may argue that this connection is as distant as the eighth planet from the sun, our investigation suggests otherwise. By employing rigorous statistical methods and astronomical data, we aim to shed light on this unexpected correlation.
The idea of a distant planet exerting influences on criminal behavior may sound like a far-fetched concept, akin to a plot twist in a sci-fi thriller. However, as we peel back the layers of celestial phenomena and criminal tendencies, we uncover a compelling story that may challenge our preconceptions of causality. This study sets its sights on capturing the attention of not only criminologists and astronomers but also those with an appetite for cosmic curiosities and statistical surprises.
As we embark on this celestial caper, it is essential to maintain a critical and inquisitive mindset. While the connection we propose may seem like a cosmic coincidence, our statistical analysis paints a picture that is both thought-provoking and statistically relevant. Join us on this astronomical escapade, as we venture into the depths of data to unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on criminal ambition.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The analysis of data collected from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1985 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9693590, indicating a strong positive relationship between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates on Earth. The r-squared value of 0.9396569 further reinforces the robustness of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 94% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the position of the distant ice giant. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings are statistically significant and carry more weight than the gravitational pull of a massive planet.

Fig. 1 showcases the scatterplot depicting this astronomical correlation. It is safe to say that the plot itself is quite "out of this world," with Neptune's position and burglary rates aligning in a manner that surpasses the boundaries of typical terrestrial relationships. It seems that even in the vast expanse of space, cosmic phenomena can have an impact on earthly affairs, much like a celestial sneak attack on our traditional understanding of crime causation.

The implications of these results extend beyond the confines of criminology and astronomy, hinting at a cosmic dance between celestial positions and human behavior. Our findings nudge the boundaries of conventional research, encouraging scholars to consider the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs as more than just a distant possibility. As we continue to unravel the mysteries of the universe, it is clear that there are still cosmic connections waiting to be discovered in the statistical stardust of research data.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The connection between astronomical phenomena and human behavior has been a topic of curiosity and speculation for centuries. While the bulk of research has historically focused on societal, economic, and psychological determinants of crime, our investigation takes a unique approach by exploring the potential influence of Neptune's distance from the Sun on burglary rates. This unconventional pursuit of correlation leads us to examine a variety of literature, ranging from scholarly articles to fictional works and even social media musings.
In "Planetary Positions and Their Impact on Human Behavior," Smith et al. delve into the cosmic dance of planets and their hypothesized effects on terrestrial affairs. While their work primarily focuses on astrological beliefs and cultural interpretations rather than empirical evidence, it offers a starting point for our exploration of the potential link between celestial positioning and criminal activity.
Doe and Jones, in "Celestial Mechanics and its Influence on Earthly Matters," discuss the gravitational interactions among celestial bodies and their potential implications for earthly events. While their work primarily concentrates on the physical dynamics of the solar system, it provides a foundation for considering the potential influence of planetary positions on human behavior, even if their focus leans more toward celestial mechanics than criminal statistics.
Moving beyond strictly academic sources, non-fiction books such as "The Universe Within: Discovering the Common History of Rocks, Planets, and People" and "Cosmic Coincidences: Dark Matter, Mankind, and Anthropic Cosmology" offer perspectives on the intertwined nature of the universe and human existence. While these works do not explicitly address criminal behavior, they prompt contemplation of cosmic connections to earthly affairs.
In the realm of fiction, novels such as "Neptune Rising: A Mystery in Space" and "The Burglar's Guide to the Galaxy" by renowned authors bring imagination and intrigue to the intersection of celestial bodies and criminal endeavors. While these works belong to the realms of creativity and storytelling, their titles alone invite playful contemplation of cosmic influences on human activities, including unlawful ones.
More unexpectedly, certain social media posts have indirectly contributed to the discourse on the connection between celestial bodies and criminal intent. From musings about Neptune's astrological influences to memes juxtaposing planetary positions with true crime scenarios, these informal online conversations provide a fascinating glimpse into popular perceptions of the cosmic-crime amalgamation.
As we navigate through this diverse assortment of literature, it becomes apparent that the intersection of celestial phenomena and criminal behavior is not strictly confined to the academic domain. The varying perspectives offered by these sources not only add depth to our investigation but also infuse a sense of cosmic curiosity and whimsy into an otherwise rigid statistical inquiry.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of data collected from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1985 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9693590, indicating a strong positive relationship between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates on Earth. The r-squared value of 0.9396569 further reinforces the robustness of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 94% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the position of the distant ice giant. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings are statistically significant and carry more weight than the gravitational pull of a massive planet.
Fig. 1 showcases the scatterplot depicting this astronomical correlation. It is safe to say that the plot itself is quite "out of this world," with Neptune's position and burglary rates aligning in a manner that surpasses the boundaries of typical terrestrial relationships. It seems that even in the vast expanse of space, cosmic phenomena can have an impact on earthly affairs, much like a celestial sneak attack on our traditional understanding of crime causation.
The implications of these results extend beyond the confines of criminology and astronomy, hinting at a cosmic dance between celestial positions and human behavior. Our findings nudge the boundaries of conventional research, encouraging scholars to consider the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs as more than just a distant possibility. As we continue to unravel the mysteries of the universe, it is clear that there are still cosmic connections waiting to be discovered in the statistical stardust of research data.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our investigation embarked on an astronomical escapade to explore the intriguing link between Neptune's distance from the Sun and burglary rates. The remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and the R-squared value of 0.9396569 manifested a connection more solid than a planet made of rock. These findings not only supported but launched our cosmically ambitious pursuits beyond the boundaries of conventional criminological research.

Taking a plunge into the celestial literature, we discovered noteworthy intellectual gems amidst the stardust. While some may deem the connection between planetary positions and human behavior a flight of fancy, we took these works as serious as a space shuttle launch. Smith et al.'s exploration of planetary positions and their alleged influence on human affairs, although predominantly steeped in astrological lore, served as an essential launchpad for our inquiry. Just as gravity tugs at celestial bodies, Doe and Jones' discourse on celestial mechanics imparted a gravitational pull for our understanding of potential cosmic influences on earthly events. The unconventional sources we entertained, including fictional works and social media posts, twinkled like distant stars, adding variety and a touch of whimsy to our investigation.

As we delved into our results, the sight of the scatterplot, aligning Neptune's position with burglary rates, resembled a celestial dance that left us starry-eyed. The statistically significant p-value shimmered like a comet streaking across the night sky, underscoring the weight of our findings like a grand celestial body. The implications of our results stretch beyond the confines of criminological dogma, suggesting that understanding celestial bodies' relationship with human affairs is not some far-fetched notion but deserves a place in the planetary lineup of influential factors.

In conclusion, our cosmic exploration has defied traditional perceptions of the causes of criminal behavior, hinting at a cosmic ballet of celestial positions and earthly activities. Our findings invite more scholarly research to embrace the cosmic influence with the same enthusiasm as stargazers spotting a rare celestial event. It is clear that the cosmos extends a celestial invitation for researchers to navigate the space between planets and crime, where statistical stardust awaits discovery.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Neptune and the Sun and Burglary rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination

[[ABSTRACT]]
The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The study of crime and criminology has long been an area of interest for researchers, policymakers, and the general public. While traditional studies have focused on societal, economic, and psychological factors, our investigation takes a celestial turn, exploring the potential influence of Neptune's location on burglary rates. This peculiar intersection of astronomy and crime may appear unconventional, but as we delve deeper into the data, we find a correlation that is truly out of this world.
In this paper, we present the remarkable findings from our analysis of the relationship between the position of Neptune in its orbit and burglary rates on Earth. While some may argue that this connection is as distant as the eighth planet from the sun, our investigation suggests otherwise. By employing rigorous statistical methods and astronomical data, we aim to shed light on this unexpected correlation.
The idea of a distant planet exerting influences on criminal behavior may sound like a far-fetched concept, akin to a plot twist in a sci-fi thriller. However, as we peel back the layers of celestial phenomena and criminal tendencies, we uncover a compelling story that may challenge our preconceptions of causality. This study sets its sights on capturing the attention of not only criminologists and astronomers but also those with an appetite for cosmic curiosities and statistical surprises.
As we embark on this celestial caper, it is essential to maintain a critical and inquisitive mindset. While the connection we propose may seem like a cosmic coincidence, our statistical analysis paints a picture that is both thought-provoking and statistically relevant. Join us on this astronomical escapade, as we venture into the depths of data to unravel the mysteries of Neptune's influence on criminal ambition.

[[RESULTS]]
The analysis of data collected from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for the years 1985 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9693590, indicating a strong positive relationship between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates on Earth. The r-squared value of 0.9396569 further reinforces the robustness of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 94% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by the position of the distant ice giant. With a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings are statistically significant and carry more weight than the gravitational pull of a massive planet.
Fig. 1 showcases the scatterplot depicting this astronomical correlation. It is safe to say that the plot itself is quite "out of this world," with Neptune's position and burglary rates aligning in a manner that surpasses the boundaries of typical terrestrial relationships. It seems that even in the vast expanse of space, cosmic phenomena can have an impact on earthly affairs, much like a celestial sneak attack on our traditional understanding of crime causation.
The implications of these results extend beyond the confines of criminology and astronomy, hinting at a cosmic dance between celestial positions and human behavior. Our findings nudge the boundaries of conventional research, encouraging scholars to consider the influence of celestial bodies on human affairs as more than just a distant possibility. As we continue to unravel the mysteries of the universe, it is clear that there are still cosmic connections waiting to be discovered in the statistical stardust of research data.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we conclude this stellar investigation, the astronomical correlation between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates on Earth stands as a testament to the unexpected interconnectedness of seemingly disparate realms. It appears that Neptune's celestial antics extend beyond its icy orbit, reaching into the statistical arena with a gravitational pull that belies its distance.

Our findings, with a correlation coefficient that would make even a comet blush, challenge the conventional notions of causality and demand a reevaluation of cosmic influences on criminal ambition. The significance of our results is as clear as a constellation on a cloudless night, urging researchers to shift their focus from earthly elements to celestial forces when contemplating criminological dynamics.

As we navigate this cosmic caper and unravel the statistical stardust, it becomes evident that there is more to the universe's symphony than meets the telescope. The scatterplot may depict a seemingly surreal alignment, but the statistical robustness of our findings is as solid as a moon rock.

It is our contention that no further research is needed in this field, as we believe our findings have already reached the outer limits of statistical exploration. It seems that, much like the orbit of the majestic Neptune, the correlation between its position and burglary rates has truly completed its revolution. This study, much like a spacecraft on a successful mission, has docked at its final destination, leaving behind a trail of cosmic insights and statistical surprises.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Planetary Criminology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Cosmic Criminology Consortium


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Neptune's Position and Crime Ambition: A Correlation Examination with an abstract of The astronomical realm and the earthly realm may not seem to be closely related, but our investigation delves into a surprising connection between the distance of Neptune from the Sun and burglary rates. Utilizing data sourced from Astropy and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, for the years 1985 to 2022, we conducted a comprehensive analysis to explore any potential correlation. The results revealed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9693590 and an exceedingly significant p-value of less than 0.01. Our findings challenge conventional understandings of criminology and invite further examination into the cosmic influences on criminal ambition.

ChatGPT:

Neptune, Sun distance, burglary rates, Astropy, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation analysis, cosmic influences, criminology, Neptune's position, crime rates, astrology and crime

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Neptune and the Sun
Detailed data title: The average distance between Neptune and the Sun as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Neptune and the Sun

Burglary rates in the US
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in United States
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglary rates in the US

Correlation r = 0.9693590 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9396569 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 94% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglary rates in the US) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Neptune and the Sun) over the 38 years from 1985 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.5E-23. 0.0000000000000000000000153058
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.97 in 1.5E-21% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 65,334,709,717,884,718,809,088 random variables You don't actually need 65 sextillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 37 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 37 because we have two variables measured over a period of 38 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.94, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19851986198719881989199019911992199319941995199619971998199920002001200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
The distance between Neptune and the Sun (Planetary distance (AU))30.253530.244530.234730.224830.215230.206430.198530.191230.184430.177430.169830.16130.150930.139630.127330.114730.102430.090830.080330.07130.062730.05530.047330.039130.030130.0230.009129.997629.986129.975129.965229.956529.949129.942729.936929.93129.924629.9174
Burglary rates in the US (Burglary rate)1291.71349.81335.71316.21283.61232.21252.11168.41099.71042.1987945919863.2770.4728.8741.8747741730.3726.9733.1726.1733717.7701701.3672.2610.5537.2494.7468.9429.7378340.5314.2270.9269.8




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([30.2535,30.2445,30.2347,30.2248,30.2152,30.2064,30.1985,30.1912,30.1844,30.1774,30.1698,30.161,30.1509,30.1396,30.1273,30.1147,30.1024,30.0908,30.0803,30.071,30.0627,30.055,30.0473,30.0391,30.0301,30.02,30.0091,29.9976,29.9861,29.9751,29.9652,29.9565,29.9491,29.9427,29.9369,29.931,29.9246,29.9174,])
array_2 = np.array([1291.7,1349.8,1335.7,1316.2,1283.6,1232.2,1252.1,1168.4,1099.7,1042.1,987,945,919,863.2,770.4,728.8,741.8,747,741,730.3,726.9,733.1,726.1,733,717.7,701,701.3,672.2,610.5,537.2,494.7,468.9,429.7,378,340.5,314.2,270.9,269.8,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Neptune and the Sun"
array_2_name = "Burglary rates in the US"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1035 · Black Variable ID: 1932 · Red Variable ID: 20084
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