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Spurious correlation #5,934 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with CVS.  The chart goes from 2005 to 2011, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists increased, so did the average number of smiles per game in the stands. The higher level of happiness and positivity in the air at NHL games was carried back to the local communities, leading to an unexpected surge in polite and friendly behavior at CVS stores. It's as if Modano's assists were not just on the ice, but also in creating a more pleasant and satisfying shopping experience for CVS customers. Who knew that the path to CVS satisfaction ran through the heart of a hockey rink?

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of Mike Modano playing hockey in a stadium, with enthusiastic fans cheering and smiling in the stands. As his regular season NHL goal assists accumulate, the crowd's elation and energy intensify. The positive atmosphere spreads beyond the arena and transitions to a local CVS store, where happy customers engage in friendly and polite interactions. The image reflects the connection between the joy of hockey and the uplifting impact on community spirit, culminating in a heartwarming scene at the pharmacy. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Scalar art a funny image you would see on reddit Cyberpunk Minimalism Oragami
ChatGPT: Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists: a funny image you would see on reddit

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS, in the following situation: As Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists increased, so did the average number of smiles per game in the stands. The higher level of happiness and positivity in the air at NHL games was carried back to the local communities, leading to an unexpected surge in polite and friendly behavior at CVS stores. It's as if Modano's assists were not just on the ice, but also in creating a more pleasant and satisfying shopping experience for CVS customers. Who knew that the path to CVS satisfaction ran through the heart of a hockey rink?. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: As Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists increased, the number of smiles on the faces of fans in the stands also grew. The sense of joy and positivity from the hockey games spread to the local communities, leading to a noticeable increase in polite and friendly behavior at CVS stores. It was almost as if Modano's assists were not just on the ice, but also in creating a more pleasant and satisfying shopping experience for CVS customers.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists: a funny image you would see on reddit ] and depicting this scene: As Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists increased, the number of smiles on the faces of fans in the stands also grew. The sense of joy and positivity from the hockey games spread to the local communities, leading to a noticeable increase in polite and friendly behavior at CVS stores. It was almost as if Modano's assists were not just on the ice, but also in creating a more pleasant and satisfying shopping experience for CVS customers. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of Mike Modano playing hockey in a stadium, with enthusiastic fans cheering and smiling in the stands. As his regular season NHL goal assists accumulate, the crowd's elation and energy intensify. The positive atmosphere spreads beyond the arena and transitions to a local CVS store, where happy customers engage in friendly and polite interactions. The image reflects the connection between the joy of hockey and the uplifting impact on community spirit, culminating in a heartwarming scene at the pharmacy.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how increases in Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists positively influenced Customer satisfaction with CVS.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Putting the Assist in Assistance: A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

Journal of Sports Data Analysis

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from NHL and American Customer Satisfaction Index to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for 2005 to 2011.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

What do hockey and shopping have in common? At first glance, not much. However, as we delve into the curious world of statistics and intangible connections, we find that Mike Modano’s regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS may be more intertwined than one might think. As we embark on this statistical journey, we bring an enthusiastic spirit and a puckish sense of humor to the arena of statistical analysis, embracing the unexpected correlations and perhaps scoring a few statistical goals along the way.

One might wonder, "What could be the link between a hockey legend's goal assists and a popular retail pharmacy's customer satisfaction?" Well, as researchers, it is our duty to explore even the most unusual pairings and examine the underlying patterns with a sharp statistical eye. So, we put on our lab coats and laced up our skates to investigate this unlikely parallel.

Speaking of unlikely parallels, did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a lake with an average depth of 3 feet? It's a classic case of the mode not being appropriate for every scenario! But fear not, our analysis is as thorough as can be, ensuring that we don't find ourselves in statistically shallow waters.

The relationship between sports performance and consumer satisfaction may seem like an odd match, akin to trying to compare apples and oranges. However, with the right statistical tools and a touch of creativity, we aim to peel back the layers of this statistical fruit salad and uncover any hidden, yet meaningful, connections.

Of course, no statistical research paper would be complete without acknowledging the timeless adage, "Correlation does not imply causation." Like a good defenseman preventing a breakaway, we are committed to defending against unwarranted assumptions and ensuring that our findings are as solid as a well-crafted hockey stick.

In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we approach this investigation with an open mind, ready to embrace the unexpected and perhaps even deliver a few unexpected pun-assisted insights. So, stay on the edge of your seat as we reveal the surprising results of our analysis, all the while remembering that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, there may be a few unexpected slapshots and deflections along the way.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
What do hockey and shopping have in common? At first glance, not much. However, as we delve into the curious world of statistics and intangible connections, we find that Mike Modano’s regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS may be more intertwined than one might think. As we embark on this statistical journey, we bring an enthusiastic spirit and a puckish sense of humor to the arena of statistical analysis, embracing the unexpected correlations and perhaps scoring a few statistical goals along the way.
One might wonder, "What could be the link between a hockey legend's goal assists and a popular retail pharmacy's customer satisfaction?" Well, as researchers, it is our duty to explore even the most unusual pairings and examine the underlying patterns with a sharp statistical eye. So, we put on our lab coats and laced up our skates to investigate this unlikely parallel.
Speaking of unlikely parallels, did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a lake with an average depth of 3 feet? It's a classic case of the mode not being appropriate for every scenario! But fear not, our analysis is as thorough as can be, ensuring that we don't find ourselves in statistically shallow waters.
The relationship between sports performance and consumer satisfaction may seem like an odd match, akin to trying to compare apples and oranges. However, with the right statistical tools and a touch of creativity, we aim to peel back the layers of this statistical fruit salad and uncover any hidden, yet meaningful, connections.
Of course, no statistical research paper would be complete without acknowledging the timeless adage, "Correlation does not imply causation." Like a good defenseman preventing a breakaway, we are committed to defending against unwarranted assumptions and ensuring that our findings are as solid as a well-crafted hockey stick.
In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we approach this investigation with an open mind, ready to embrace the unexpected and perhaps even deliver a few unexpected pun-assisted insights. So, stay on the edge of your seat as we reveal the surprising results of our analysis, all the while remembering that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, there may be a few unexpected slapshots and deflections along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

To unravel the curious conundrum linking Mike Modano's prolific regular season NHL goal assists and the customer satisfaction ratings of CVS, we embark on a journey through a range of studies and sources, offering insights and maybe a few dad jokes along the way.

In "Hockey and Happiness," Smith et al. discuss the positive impact of sports performance on public morale, hinting at the potential influence of a hockey legend's assists on the contentment of CVS customers. Likewise, Doe's article "The Assist Effect: Unanticipated Connections in Statistical Analysis" delves into unexpected statistical correlations, laying the groundwork for our investigation. These studies, though serious in their intent, set the stage for our analysis with a touch of statistical whimsy.

Moving down a curious path, "The Economics of Assist-ance" by Jones explores the intricate connections between athletic achievement and consumer behavior, providing a relevant parallel to our inquiry. Meanwhile, "The CVS Chronicles: A Tale of Retail Satisfaction" by Brown and "NHL Insights: On and Off the Ice" by Green offer context from the real world, setting the stage for our statistical scrutiny. It's a testament to the eclectic nature of our investigation that these diverse sources converge in our quest for truth, or at least for a good laugh.

In the realm of fiction, "The Assist Equation" by Austen and "The Satisfaction Games" by Collins may not directly address our topic, but their titles certainly capture the spirit of our statistical odyssey. And who could forget "To Score a Goal, or to Err on the Side of Satisfaction" by Shakespeare, a timeless work that appears relevant on so many levels? These playful references remind us that, as researchers, we explore the intersection of the serious and the absurd with a keen academic eye and a mischievous grin.

Venturing into the world of popular culture, our analytical gaze turns to cartoons and children's shows that, believe it or not, offer surprisingly relevant insights. Through the likes of "Poke-statistics" and "Dora the Explorer's Statistical Sayings," we gleaned unexpected inspiration and perhaps a few statistical life lessons. After all, who needs an animated researcher speaking in a blitz of numbers when you have these informative, er, sources?

As we conclude this literature review, our journey through serious and not-so-serious sources serves as a testament to the depth and breadth of our investigation. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our findings with a healthy dose of academic rigor and a side of humor, because, as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from NHL and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 2005 to 2011

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

[[INTRODUCTION]]
What do hockey and shopping have in common? At first glance, not much. However, as we delve into the curious world of statistics and intangible connections, we find that Mike Modano’s regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS may be more intertwined than one might think. As we embark on this statistical journey, we bring an enthusiastic spirit and a puckish sense of humor to the arena of statistical analysis, embracing the unexpected correlations and perhaps scoring a few statistical goals along the way.
One might wonder, "What could be the link between a hockey legend's goal assists and a popular retail pharmacy's customer satisfaction?" Well, as researchers, it is our duty to explore even the most unusual pairings and examine the underlying patterns with a sharp statistical eye. So, we put on our lab coats and laced up our skates to investigate this unlikely parallel.
Speaking of unlikely parallels, did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a lake with an average depth of 3 feet? It's a classic case of the mode not being appropriate for every scenario! But fear not, our analysis is as thorough as can be, ensuring that we don't find ourselves in statistically shallow waters.
The relationship between sports performance and consumer satisfaction may seem like an odd match, akin to trying to compare apples and oranges. However, with the right statistical tools and a touch of creativity, we aim to peel back the layers of this statistical fruit salad and uncover any hidden, yet meaningful, connections.
Of course, no statistical research paper would be complete without acknowledging the timeless adage, "Correlation does not imply causation." Like a good defenseman preventing a breakaway, we are committed to defending against unwarranted assumptions and ensuring that our findings are as solid as a well-crafted hockey stick.
In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we approach this investigation with an open mind, ready to embrace the unexpected and perhaps even deliver a few unexpected pun-assisted insights. So, stay on the edge of your seat as we reveal the surprising results of our analysis, all the while remembering that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, there may be a few unexpected slapshots and deflections along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the enigmatic link between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS, our research team employed a concoction of statistical wizardry and a dash of good old-fashioned detective work. By channeling our inner hockey maestros and wielding the time-honored tools of quantitative analysis, we set out to tease apart the intricacies of this unexpected relationship.

First off, we scoured the vast expanses of the internet, navigating through the online realms of the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index (ACSI) like seasoned explorers in search of buried treasure. With data spanning the years from 2005 to 2011, we embarked on a grand quest to unearth the statistical bounty hidden within the annals of time and consumer feedback. It's like a quest for the elusive puck in a sea of data - but with fewer body checks and more spreadsheets!

The statistical methodology we employed resembled a delicate dance, blending elements of regression analysis, correlation measures, and hypothesis testing into a harmonious symphony of quantitative exploration. Just as a seasoned hockey player skates with finesse, we navigated the intricate pathways of statistical investigation, utilizing the prowess of multivariate analysis to uncover the veiled connections between NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. It's like performing a hat trick with statistical techniques - a feat that would make any data-loving hockey fan cheer!

Once we had corralled the relevant data, we subjected it to a rigorous battery of statistical tests, akin to a coach putting their team through a grueling practice session. Through the power of statistical software and a seasoned understanding of quantitative analysis, we dissected the intertwined variables with the scrutiny of a referee reviewing a controversial play. This analysis was so thorough, it's like we were reviewing the play in slow motion – but without the need for an instant replay!

As a final touch, we employed robust sensitivity analyses and cross-validation procedures to fortify the robustness of our findings, ensuring that our results were as unyielding as a hockey defenseman guarding the goal net. This step was crucial in safeguarding against statistical curveballs and ensuring that our conclusions could weather the storm of skeptical scrutiny. It's like applying a coat of statistical armor to shield our findings from any potential skate-induced chips or pucks sent our way!

With each step of our methodology, we upheld the highest standards of statistical integrity and scientific inquiry, all the while maintaining a lighthearted spirit that paid homage to the whimsical connection between the thrilling world of hockey and the everyday realm of consumer satisfaction. After all, where statistics are concerned, it's important to have a good sense of humor – much like a goalie facing a barrage of shots, a statistical researcher must be ready to deflect any tension with a well-timed dad joke. The goal is to score a statistical hat trick while keeping the spirit of inquiry fun and, dare I say, puck-tacular!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from NHL and American Customer Satisfaction Index .

For the time period 2005 to 2011, you found a correlation 0.9282531, r-squared of 0.8616538, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
What do hockey and shopping have in common? At first glance, not much. However, as we delve into the curious world of statistics and intangible connections, we find that Mike Modano’s regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS may be more intertwined than one might think. As we embark on this statistical journey, we bring an enthusiastic spirit and a puckish sense of humor to the arena of statistical analysis, embracing the unexpected correlations and perhaps scoring a few statistical goals along the way.
One might wonder, "What could be the link between a hockey legend's goal assists and a popular retail pharmacy's customer satisfaction?" Well, as researchers, it is our duty to explore even the most unusual pairings and examine the underlying patterns with a sharp statistical eye. So, we put on our lab coats and laced up our skates to investigate this unlikely parallel.
Speaking of unlikely parallels, did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a lake with an average depth of 3 feet? It's a classic case of the mode not being appropriate for every scenario! But fear not, our analysis is as thorough as can be, ensuring that we don't find ourselves in statistically shallow waters.
The relationship between sports performance and consumer satisfaction may seem like an odd match, akin to trying to compare apples and oranges. However, with the right statistical tools and a touch of creativity, we aim to peel back the layers of this statistical fruit salad and uncover any hidden, yet meaningful, connections.
Of course, no statistical research paper would be complete without acknowledging the timeless adage, "Correlation does not imply causation." Like a good defenseman preventing a breakaway, we are committed to defending against unwarranted assumptions and ensuring that our findings are as solid as a well-crafted hockey stick.
In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we approach this investigation with an open mind, ready to embrace the unexpected and perhaps even deliver a few unexpected pun-assisted insights. So, stay on the edge of your seat as we reveal the surprising results of our analysis, all the while remembering that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, there may be a few unexpected slapshots and deflections along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS for the time period 2005 to 2011. The correlation coefficient was calculated to be 0.9282531, with an r-squared value of 0.8616538, and a p-value of less than 0.01. These findings indicate an astoundingly high degree of association between the two seemingly disparate variables, suggesting that there may indeed be a noteworthy connection between Mike Modano's on-ice assists and the satisfaction of CVS customers.

It seems that when it comes to both hockey assists and customer satisfaction, the "assists" play a crucial role! As any good dad joke enthusiast would quip, "Looks like Modano's assists aren't the only thing that's helping people score some points!"

The scatterplot depicting the relationship between Mike Modano's goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS, showcased in Fig. 1, provides a visual representation of the robust correlation observed in our analysis. The data points are tightly clustered around a positively sloped line, indicating a clear pattern of association between the two variables.

This statistically significant connection between a hockey player's performance and retail customer satisfaction underscores the importance of exploring unexpected relationships with a keen statistical eye. As any good statistician-dad would jest, "Who knew that analyzing hockey assists and customer satisfaction would be such a goal-oriented endeavor?"

Our research not only sheds light on this curious nexus but also serves as a testament to the unforeseen connections that statistical analysis can uncover. It goes to show that sometimes, in the realm of statistics, as in the game of hockey, it's the unexpected passes that lead to the most satisfying outcomes.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
To unravel the curious conundrum linking Mike Modano's prolific regular season NHL goal assists and the customer satisfaction ratings of CVS, we embark on a journey through a range of studies and sources, offering insights and maybe a few dad jokes along the way.
In "Hockey and Happiness," Smith et al. discuss the positive impact of sports performance on public morale, hinting at the potential influence of a hockey legend's assists on the contentment of CVS customers. Likewise, Doe's article "The Assist Effect: Unanticipated Connections in Statistical Analysis" delves into unexpected statistical correlations, laying the groundwork for our investigation. These studies, though serious in their intent, set the stage for our analysis with a touch of statistical whimsy.
Moving down a curious path, "The Economics of Assist-ance" by Jones explores the intricate connections between athletic achievement and consumer behavior, providing a relevant parallel to our inquiry. Meanwhile, "The CVS Chronicles: A Tale of Retail Satisfaction" by Brown and "NHL Insights: On and Off the Ice" by Green offer context from the real world, setting the stage for our statistical scrutiny. It's a testament to the eclectic nature of our investigation that these diverse sources converge in our quest for truth, or at least for a good laugh.
In the realm of fiction, "The Assist Equation" by Austen and "The Satisfaction Games" by Collins may not directly address our topic, but their titles certainly capture the spirit of our statistical odyssey. And who could forget "To Score a Goal, or to Err on the Side of Satisfaction" by Shakespeare, a timeless work that appears relevant on so many levels? These playful references remind us that, as researchers, we explore the intersection of the serious and the absurd with a keen academic eye and a mischievous grin.
Venturing into the world of popular culture, our analytical gaze turns to cartoons and children's shows that, believe it or not, offer surprisingly relevant insights. Through the likes of "Poke-statistics" and "Dora the Explorer's Statistical Sayings," we gleaned unexpected inspiration and perhaps a few statistical life lessons. After all, who needs an animated researcher speaking in a blitz of numbers when you have these informative, er, sources?
As we conclude this literature review, our journey through serious and not-so-serious sources serves as a testament to the depth and breadth of our investigation. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our findings with a healthy dose of academic rigor and a side of humor, because, as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS for the time period 2005 to 2011. The correlation coefficient was calculated to be 0.9282531, with an r-squared value of 0.8616538, and a p-value of less than 0.01. These findings indicate an astoundingly high degree of association between the two seemingly disparate variables, suggesting that there may indeed be a noteworthy connection between Mike Modano's on-ice assists and the satisfaction of CVS customers.
It seems that when it comes to both hockey assists and customer satisfaction, the "assists" play a crucial role! As any good dad joke enthusiast would quip, "Looks like Modano's assists aren't the only thing that's helping people score some points!"
The scatterplot depicting the relationship between Mike Modano's goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS, showcased in Fig. 1, provides a visual representation of the robust correlation observed in our analysis. The data points are tightly clustered around a positively sloped line, indicating a clear pattern of association between the two variables.
This statistically significant connection between a hockey player's performance and retail customer satisfaction underscores the importance of exploring unexpected relationships with a keen statistical eye. As any good statistician-dad would jest, "Who knew that analyzing hockey assists and customer satisfaction would be such a goal-oriented endeavor?"
Our research not only sheds light on this curious nexus but also serves as a testament to the unforeseen connections that statistical analysis can uncover. It goes to show that sometimes, in the realm of statistics, as in the game of hockey, it's the unexpected passes that lead to the most satisfying outcomes.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our investigation into the potential link between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS present an intriguing convergence of seemingly disparate realms. Our results align with prior research, embracing a jovial spirit akin to a dad joke at a backyard barbecue.

The robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011 echo the sentiment shared by Smith et al. in "Hockey and Happiness," underscoring the potential impact of sports performance on public morale. It appears that Modano's assists may indeed have left both hockey fans and CVS patrons feeling equally content. As any witty statistician might quip, "Who knew that a hockey legend's assists could lead to such a 'goal-tastic' shopping experience?"

Our results also resonate with the musings of Doe in "The Assist Effect: Unanticipated Connections in Statistical Analysis," highlighting the unexpected statistical correlations that can emerge when venturing into uncharted analysis territories. The surprise connection between assists on the ice and customer satisfaction in retail surely serves as a testament to the delightful quirks of statistical inquiry. As any jocular researcher would say, "We may not have expected this delightful link, but it appears that in statistics, as in life, there’s always an unexpected assist just waiting to be uncovered!"

The remarkably strong correlation revealed in our analysis indeed aligns with the spirit of "The CVS Chronicles: A Tale of Retail Satisfaction" by Brown, affirming that there might be more to the dynamics of customer satisfaction than meets the eye. This unexpected correlation between Modano's on-ice prowess and retail patron contentment adds a delightful twist to the narrative of consumer behavior, highlighting the multifaceted influences that may shape customer experiences. As any playful scholar might quip, "It seems that sometimes, in the world of statistics and retail, goal assists can truly turn into 'satisfaction assists'!"

In a delightful turn of events, our statistical investigation not only supports but also amplifies the whimsical spirit of our diverse literature review, showcasing the unexpected joy that comes with exploring seemingly unrelated phenomena. Through a statistical lens, it seems that even the most surprising connections can lead to remarkable insights and statistical "Eureka!" moments. As any lighthearted researcher might jest, "Who says the world of statistics can't be full of delightful surprises and amusing connections?"


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and Customer satisfaction with CVS. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Putting the "Assist" in "Assistance": A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.

Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!"

[[INTRDUCTION]]
What do hockey and shopping have in common? At first glance, not much. However, as we delve into the curious world of statistics and intangible connections, we find that Mike Modano’s regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS may be more intertwined than one might think. As we embark on this statistical journey, we bring an enthusiastic spirit and a puckish sense of humor to the arena of statistical analysis, embracing the unexpected correlations and perhaps scoring a few statistical goals along the way.
One might wonder, "What could be the link between a hockey legend's goal assists and a popular retail pharmacy's customer satisfaction?" Well, as researchers, it is our duty to explore even the most unusual pairings and examine the underlying patterns with a sharp statistical eye. So, we put on our lab coats and laced up our skates to investigate this unlikely parallel.
Speaking of unlikely parallels, did you hear about the statistician who drowned in a lake with an average depth of 3 feet? It's a classic case of the mode not being appropriate for every scenario! But fear not, our analysis is as thorough as can be, ensuring that we don't find ourselves in statistically shallow waters.
The relationship between sports performance and consumer satisfaction may seem like an odd match, akin to trying to compare apples and oranges. However, with the right statistical tools and a touch of creativity, we aim to peel back the layers of this statistical fruit salad and uncover any hidden, yet meaningful, connections.
Of course, no statistical research paper would be complete without acknowledging the timeless adage, "Correlation does not imply causation." Like a good defenseman preventing a breakaway, we are committed to defending against unwarranted assumptions and ensuring that our findings are as solid as a well-crafted hockey stick.
In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we approach this investigation with an open mind, ready to embrace the unexpected and perhaps even deliver a few unexpected pun-assisted insights. So, stay on the edge of your seat as we reveal the surprising results of our analysis, all the while remembering that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, there may be a few unexpected slapshots and deflections along the way.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS for the time period 2005 to 2011. The correlation coefficient was calculated to be 0.9282531, with an r-squared value of 0.8616538, and a p-value of less than 0.01. These findings indicate an astoundingly high degree of association between the two seemingly disparate variables, suggesting that there may indeed be a noteworthy connection between Mike Modano's on-ice assists and the satisfaction of CVS customers.
It seems that when it comes to both hockey assists and customer satisfaction, the "assists" play a crucial role! As any good dad joke enthusiast would quip, "Looks like Modano's assists aren't the only thing that's helping people score some points!"
The scatterplot depicting the relationship between Mike Modano's goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS, showcased in Fig. 1, provides a visual representation of the robust correlation observed in our analysis. The data points are tightly clustered around a positively sloped line, indicating a clear pattern of association between the two variables.
This statistically significant connection between a hockey player's performance and retail customer satisfaction underscores the importance of exploring unexpected relationships with a keen statistical eye. As any good statistician-dad would jest, "Who knew that analyzing hockey assists and customer satisfaction would be such a goal-oriented endeavor?"
Our research not only sheds light on this curious nexus but also serves as a testament to the unforeseen connections that statistical analysis can uncover. It goes to show that sometimes, in the realm of statistics, as in the game of hockey, it's the unexpected passes that lead to the most satisfying outcomes.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our lighthearted yet robust examination has revealed a striking association between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. The correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011 speak volumes about the unexpected but tangible link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena. This finding gives new meaning to the term "assistance," showing that both on the ice and in the aisles of CVS, a well-timed assist can make all the difference.

It's clear that Modano's assists not only set up goals on the ice but also contribute to the satisfaction of CVS customers, proving that in statistics, just like in hockey, the "assists" play a crucial role. As any good dad joke enthusiast would quip, "Looks like Modano's assists aren't the only thing that's helping people score some points!"

The scatterplot presented in Figure 1 offers a visual testament to the tightly woven correlation between Modano's assists and customer satisfaction with CVS, serving as a reminder that in statistical analysis, as in hockey, a clear pattern can lead to a winning result.

Our findings highlight the unexpected connections that statistical analysis can unveil, demonstrating that in the game of statistics, just like in hockey, it's the unexpected passes that lead to the most satisfying outcomes. As any good statistician-dad would jest, "Who knew that analyzing hockey assists and customer satisfaction would be such a goal-oriented endeavor?"

In light of these results, it can be confidently asserted that further research in this area is unnecessary. Our investigation has skated through the statistical rink, scoring an unexpected but remarkable goal in the world of unlikely correlations.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Putting the Assist in Assistance: A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Sports Data Analysis


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Putting the Assist in Assistance: A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Center for Statistical Sports Analysis and Consumer Behavior


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Putting the Assist in Assistance: A Statistical Examination of Mike Modano's NHL Goal Assists and Customer Satisfaction with CVS with an abstract of In this lighthearted yet informative paper, we investigate the possible connection between Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists and customer satisfaction with CVS. Embracing the spirit of puckish humor, our research team utilized data from the NHL and the American Customer Satisfaction Index to tackle this curious conundrum. Our findings revealed a robust correlation coefficient of 0.9282531 and p < 0.01 for the years 2005 to 2011, suggesting a striking association between the two seemingly unrelated phenomena.
Our examination of this unexpected relationship uncovered intriguing insights into the dynamics of customer satisfaction and athletic prowess. With a statistical twirl and a wink, we present our results with an acknowledgment that correlation does not imply causation, but as any good dad would say, "Sometimes a good assist can leave everyone feeling satisfied – whether it's on the ice or in the aisles of CVS!

ChatGPT:

Mike Modano, NHL, goal assists, customer satisfaction, CVS, statistical examination, correlation coefficient, American Customer Satisfaction Index, NHL data, customer satisfaction data, athletic prowess, causation vs correlation

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists
Source: NHL
See what else correlates with Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists

Customer satisfaction with CVS
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with CVS

Correlation r = 0.9282531 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8616538 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 86.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with CVS) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists) over the 7 years from 2005 through 2011.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.0025. 0.0025471912319951304000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.93 in 0.25% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 393 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 6 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 6 because we have two variables measured over a period of 7 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.58, 0.99 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
2005200620072008200920102011
Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists (Goal Assist)7502136311611
Customer satisfaction with CVS (Consumer Satisfaction)74787677777473




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Very low n: There are not many data points included in this analysis. Even if the p-value is high, we should be suspicious of using so few datapoints in a correlation.
  5. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([7,50,21,36,31,16,11,])
array_2 = np.array([74,78,76,77,77,74,73,])
array_1_name = "Mike Modano's regular season NHL goal assists"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with CVS"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 5934 · Black Variable ID: 350 · Red Variable ID: 19851
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