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Spurious correlation #4,122 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image

AI explanation

As people consumed less cottage cheese, their overall levels of contentment decreased. This led to a rise in petty disputes and arguments, prompting individuals to stay home and resolve conflicts instead of going out and committing vehicle thefts. As the saying goes, "when there's no curds to keep the peace, car thefts cease!” Of course, this is utter nonsense, but it's a gouda effort at dairy-based humor!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Style: A humorous image you would see on r/mildlyinteresting Prompt: Generate an image of a vibrant residential neighborhood in Virginia during dinner time. In the foreground, a family is gathered around the dining table, visibly consuming less cottage cheese and displaying perplexed expressions. Meanwhile, the overall body language and expressions indicate a decrease in contentment levels. Despite this, neighboring households are shown engaging in light-hearted interactions and resolving minor disputes peacefully within the confines of their own homes. In the background, parked cars are undisturbed, with a notable absence of any signs of vehicle theft. The essence of harmony and serenity is exuded as the lack of cottage cheese seemingly contributes to a tranquil atmosphere, dispersing potential motives for any vehicular thefts. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie a funny image you would see on reddit Cute cartoon Symbolism A scene from Skyrim
ChatGPT: A funny image you would see on reddit

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia, in the following situation: As people consumed less cottage cheese, their overall levels of contentment decreased. This led to a rise in petty disputes and arguments, prompting individuals to stay home and resolve conflicts instead of going out and committing vehicle thefts. As the saying goes, "when there's no curds to keep the peace, car thefts cease!” Of course, this is utter nonsense, but it's a gouda effort at dairy-based humor!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quiet residential neighborhood in Virginia, households are seen enjoying meals together at home. A family sits around the dining table, consuming less cottage cheese, while the overall contentment levels decrease. As a result, neighbors are seen resolving minor disputes peacefully within the confines of their homes, causing a decrease in motor vehicle thefts. In the background, a few parked cars remain undisturbed as the absence of cottage cheese seemingly contributes to a harmonious atmosphere, dispersing potential motives for vehicle thefts.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A funny image you would see on reddit ] and depicting this scene: In a quiet residential neighborhood in Virginia, households are seen enjoying meals together at home. A family sits around the dining table, consuming less cottage cheese, while the overall contentment levels decrease. As a result, neighbors are seen resolving minor disputes peacefully within the confines of their homes, causing a decrease in motor vehicle thefts. In the background, a few parked cars remain undisturbed as the absence of cottage cheese seemingly contributes to a harmonious atmosphere, dispersing potential motives for vehicle thefts. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Style: A humorous image you would see on r/mildlyinteresting Prompt: Generate an image of a vibrant residential neighborhood in Virginia during dinner time. In the foreground, a family is gathered around the dining table, visibly consuming less cottage cheese and displaying perplexed expressions. Meanwhile, the overall body language and expressions indicate a decrease in contentment levels. Despite this, neighboring households are shown engaging in light-hearted interactions and resolving minor disputes peacefully within the confines of their own homes. In the background, parked cars are undisturbed, with a notable absence of any signs of vehicle theft. The essence of harmony and serenity is exuded as the lack of cottage cheese seemingly contributes to a tranquil atmosphere, dispersing potential motives for any vehicular thefts.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia to decrease.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

The Journal of Dairy Criminology

Jan 2024
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
**[[INTRODUCTION]]**

**A Gouda Morning to You: The Curious Case of Cottage Cheese Crime**

*Why did the cottage cheese go to the art exhibit? It wanted to be cultured.*

Cottage cheese, a staple of many diets, has often been associated with healthy eating and the pursuit of calcium levels that truly curd-les the competition. However, in a turn of events that would make the legendary detective Miss Marple proud, researchers have uncovered a potential link between this dairy delight and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

*What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!*

This study delves into the intriguing world of cottage cheese consumption and its unexpected connection to the rate of motor vehicle thefts. As researchers, we were initially skeptical about diving into this uncharted territory, but the evidence was becoming increasingly sharp – much like a good cheddar.

*Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!*

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprisingly strong correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rates of motor vehicle thefts. This newfound relationship left us feeling a bit blue – cheese, that is – as we realized the potential implications of our findings.

*The stakes in experimental science are too high to BRIE ignoring the importance of a study like this!*

With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this connection left us feeling a bit swiss-picious. It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This unexpected correlation was not something to be curd lightly, and it left us feeling rather bleu.

*What did one lab rat say to the other? I think we're in the wrong joke!*

While the data revealed this unusual correlation, it left us pondering more questions than answers. Are there mischievous dairy enthusiasts committing these whey-ward deeds, or are we simply witnessing a peculiar dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a whey-ward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

*Why did the cottage cheese go to the art exhibit? It wanted to be cultured.*
Cottage cheese, a staple of many diets, has often been associated with healthy eating and the pursuit of calcium levels that truly curd-les the competition. However, in a turn of events that would make the legendary detective Miss Marple proud, researchers have uncovered a potential link between this dairy delight and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.
*What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!*
This study delves into the intriguing world of cottage cheese consumption and its unexpected connection to the rate of motor vehicle thefts. As researchers, we were initially skeptical about diving into this uncharted territory, but the evidence was becoming increasingly sharp – much like a good cheddar.
*Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!*
Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprisingly strong correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rates of motor vehicle thefts. This newfound relationship left us feeling a bit blue – cheese, that is – as we realized the potential implications of our findings.
*The stakes in experimental science are too high to BRIE ignoring the importance of a study like this!*
With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this connection left us feeling a bit swiss-picious. It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This unexpected correlation was not something to be curd lightly, and it left us feeling rather bleu.
*What did one lab rat say to the other? I think we're in the wrong joke!*
While the data revealed this unusual correlation, it left us pondering more questions than answers. Are there mischievous dairy enthusiasts committing these whey-ward deeds, or are we simply witnessing a peculiar dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a whey-ward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their seminal work, "The Curd Connection: A Dairy Decade" Smith et al. delved into the fascinating world of cheese consumption and its unexpected associations. They analyzed data from various dairy products, including cottage cheese, and its potential links to societal trends. Much to their surprise, they uncovered a correlation between cheese consumption and unconventional behaviors, raising new questions about the influence of dairy on human actions.

Adding a comical twist, "The Big Cheese: How Cottage Conundrums Lead to Larceny" by Doe and Jones introduced the concept of creamy criminality and its potential impact on crime rates. Their investigation into the cheese-fueled escapades in Virginia provided a thought-provoking analysis of the societal implications of cottage cheese consumption. Their findings left readers both entertained and contemplative, as they explored the unexpected ways in which cheese could become entangled with criminal activity.

Turning to non-fiction books that explore dietary influences on behavior, "Eating for Crime Prevention" by Dr. Munch investigates the relationship between food consumption and unlawful conduct. Although not focused specifically on cottage cheese, the book offers valuable insights into the potential association between dietary choices and criminal behavior.

In a similar vein, "The Mind-Gruyère Connection" by Dr. Cheddar examines the neurological effects of cheese consumption and its impact on decision-making. While the book primarily focuses on the broader effects of cheese on the brain, it offers a compelling foundation for understanding the cognitive implications of consuming dairy products.

Taking a somewhat whimsical turn, "The Great Gouda Caper" by Agatha Cheesie presents a fictional narrative delving into the mysterious world of cheese-related crimes. Although a work of fiction, the novel provides an entertaining exploration of the potential connections between cheese consumption and criminal activities. Its playful yet thought-provoking storyline offers a lighthearted perspective on the subject matter.

Similarly, "The Cottage Cheese Caper" by Sherlock Gouda, a popular children's mystery series, presents a whimsical tale of intrigue and cheese-centric investigations. While not grounded in scientific research, the series offers an imaginative portrayal of the potential adventures involving cottage cheese and its impact on curious capers. With its delightful blend of humor and mystery, the series offers a unique approach to exploring the unexpected connections between dietary choices and criminal behavior.

This sampling of literature offers a glimpse into the multifaceted exploration of cottage cheese consumption and its potentially unexpected connections to motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. While grounded in serious scientific inquiry, these diverse perspectives remind us that even the most seemingly mundane topics can lead to a deliciously intriguing journey.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

[[INTRODUCTION]]

*Why did the cottage cheese go to the art exhibit? It wanted to be cultured.*
Cottage cheese, a staple of many diets, has often been associated with healthy eating and the pursuit of calcium levels that truly curd-les the competition. However, in a turn of events that would make the legendary detective Miss Marple proud, researchers have uncovered a potential link between this dairy delight and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.
*What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!*
This study delves into the intriguing world of cottage cheese consumption and its unexpected connection to the rate of motor vehicle thefts. As researchers, we were initially skeptical about diving into this uncharted territory, but the evidence was becoming increasingly sharp – much like a good cheddar.
*Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!*
Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprisingly strong correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rates of motor vehicle thefts. This newfound relationship left us feeling a bit blue – cheese, that is – as we realized the potential implications of our findings.
*The stakes in experimental science are too high to BRIE ignoring the importance of a study like this!*
With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this connection left us feeling a bit swiss-picious. It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This unexpected correlation was not something to be curd lightly, and it left us feeling rather bleu.
*What did one lab rat say to the other? I think we're in the wrong joke!*
While the data revealed this unusual correlation, it left us pondering more questions than answers. Are there mischievous dairy enthusiasts committing these whey-ward deeds, or are we simply witnessing a peculiar dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a whey-ward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

In order to unravel the wheyward connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle theft rates in Virginia, our research team employed a range of methodological techniques. We gathered data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, scouring through records dating back to 1990 up to 2021. This involved sifting through a dairy large amount of data – perhaps enough to make even the most enthusiastic cheese connoisseur feel a little grate.

To quantify the per capita consumption of cottage cheese, we utilized existing dietary surveys and sales data, converting these figures into pounds of cottage cheese consumed per person per year. We then turned our attention to motor vehicle theft rates, extracting this information from crime records and law enforcement databases. Our approach was certainly gouda of mixture of traditional statistical analysis and cheese-themed humor – because what's research without a touch of levity?

In analyzing the data, we employed a range of statistical methods, including correlation analysis and regression modeling. Our aim was to not only identify any potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle theft rates but also to determine the strength and significance of this connection. It was essential for us to approach this analysis with the utmost stringency, lest we end up with results as holey as a block of Emmental.

The correlation coefficient and p-value were used to assess the strength and statistical significance of the relationship between the variables, aiming to minimize any potential biases in our findings. This meticulous approach was vital to ensure that our conclusions were as sharp as a finely aged cheddar.

Furthermore, our methodological approach involved controlling for potential confounding variables, such as socio-economic factors and urbanization, in order to ascertain whether the observed correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle theft rates was indeed a genuine phenomenon or just a case of statistical Feta-morphosis. We aimed to leave no stone unturned and no cheese untouched in our pursuit of scientific rigor.

Overall, the methodology employed in this study was a careful balancing act of methodological rigor and a sprinkling of whimsy – because in the world of scientific inquiry, even the cheesiest of subjects deserves to be approached with diligence and a sense of humor.

*Why did the scientist put a bed in their laboratory? Because they wanted to conduct a sleep study!*


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9070597, r-squared of 0.8227574, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]

*Why did the cottage cheese go to the art exhibit? It wanted to be cultured.*
Cottage cheese, a staple of many diets, has often been associated with healthy eating and the pursuit of calcium levels that truly curd-les the competition. However, in a turn of events that would make the legendary detective Miss Marple proud, researchers have uncovered a potential link between this dairy delight and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.
*What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!*
This study delves into the intriguing world of cottage cheese consumption and its unexpected connection to the rate of motor vehicle thefts. As researchers, we were initially skeptical about diving into this uncharted territory, but the evidence was becoming increasingly sharp – much like a good cheddar.
*Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!*
Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprisingly strong correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rates of motor vehicle thefts. This newfound relationship left us feeling a bit blue – cheese, that is – as we realized the potential implications of our findings.
*The stakes in experimental science are too high to BRIE ignoring the importance of a study like this!*
With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this connection left us feeling a bit swiss-picious. It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This unexpected correlation was not something to be curd lightly, and it left us feeling rather bleu.
*What did one lab rat say to the other? I think we're in the wrong joke!*
While the data revealed this unusual correlation, it left us pondering more questions than answers. Are there mischievous dairy enthusiasts committing these whey-ward deeds, or are we simply witnessing a peculiar dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a whey-ward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]
We found a strong correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia over the time period from 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 suggests a robust positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. If only we had known sooner, we could have prevented a "grate" number of cheese-related crimes!

The r-squared value of 0.8227574 indicates that approximately 82% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the more cottage cheese Virginians consumed, the greater the number of missing cars. Looks like someone really wanted a "gouda" joyride!

Our analysis also yielded a p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the likelihood of observing such a strong correlation by random chance is exceedingly low. This connection is no "brie-f" affair; it carries significant weight in the statistical realm.

As illustrated in Fig. 1, the scatterplot further highlights the exquisitely linear and compelling relationship between the two variables. The data points practically form a "curd" of regression, capturing the undeniable association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It's as clear as day: More cottage cheese consumption coincides with more car thefts, and that's no "feta"!

In conclusion, our research uncovers a "gouda" deal of intriguing information about the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. This study serves as a "whey-ward" journey into the unexplored territory of dairy-driven crime, shedding light on the curiously cheesy side of statistical correlations. The evidence may be "cheddarly," but the implications are no joke.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their seminal work, "The Curd Connection: A Dairy Decade" Smith et al. delved into the fascinating world of cheese consumption and its unexpected associations. They analyzed data from various dairy products, including cottage cheese, and its potential links to societal trends. Much to their surprise, they uncovered a correlation between cheese consumption and unconventional behaviors, raising new questions about the influence of dairy on human actions.
Adding a comical twist, "The Big Cheese: How Cottage Conundrums Lead to Larceny" by Doe and Jones introduced the concept of creamy criminality and its potential impact on crime rates. Their investigation into the cheese-fueled escapades in Virginia provided a thought-provoking analysis of the societal implications of cottage cheese consumption. Their findings left readers both entertained and contemplative, as they explored the unexpected ways in which cheese could become entangled with criminal activity.
Turning to non-fiction books that explore dietary influences on behavior, "Eating for Crime Prevention" by Dr. Munch investigates the relationship between food consumption and unlawful conduct. Although not focused specifically on cottage cheese, the book offers valuable insights into the potential association between dietary choices and criminal behavior.
In a similar vein, "The Mind-Gruyère Connection" by Dr. Cheddar examines the neurological effects of cheese consumption and its impact on decision-making. While the book primarily focuses on the broader effects of cheese on the brain, it offers a compelling foundation for understanding the cognitive implications of consuming dairy products.
Taking a somewhat whimsical turn, "The Great Gouda Caper" by Agatha Cheesie presents a fictional narrative delving into the mysterious world of cheese-related crimes. Although a work of fiction, the novel provides an entertaining exploration of the potential connections between cheese consumption and criminal activities. Its playful yet thought-provoking storyline offers a lighthearted perspective on the subject matter.
Similarly, "The Cottage Cheese Caper" by Sherlock Gouda, a popular children's mystery series, presents a whimsical tale of intrigue and cheese-centric investigations. While not grounded in scientific research, the series offers an imaginative portrayal of the potential adventures involving cottage cheese and its impact on curious capers. With its delightful blend of humor and mystery, the series offers a unique approach to exploring the unexpected connections between dietary choices and criminal behavior.
This sampling of literature offers a glimpse into the multifaceted exploration of cottage cheese consumption and its potentially unexpected connections to motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. While grounded in serious scientific inquiry, these diverse perspectives remind us that even the most seemingly mundane topics can lead to a deliciously intriguing journey.

[[RESULTS]]
We found a strong correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia over the time period from 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 suggests a robust positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. If only we had known sooner, we could have prevented a "grate" number of cheese-related crimes!
The r-squared value of 0.8227574 indicates that approximately 82% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the more cottage cheese Virginians consumed, the greater the number of missing cars. Looks like someone really wanted a "gouda" joyride!
Our analysis also yielded a p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the likelihood of observing such a strong correlation by random chance is exceedingly low. This connection is no "brie-f" affair; it carries significant weight in the statistical realm.
As illustrated in Fig. 1, the scatterplot further highlights the exquisitely linear and compelling relationship between the two variables. The data points practically form a "curd" of regression, capturing the undeniable association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It's as clear as day: More cottage cheese consumption coincides with more car thefts, and that's no "feta"!
In conclusion, our research uncovers a "gouda" deal of intriguing information about the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. This study serves as a "whey-ward" journey into the unexplored territory of dairy-driven crime, shedding light on the curiously cheesy side of statistical correlations. The evidence may be "cheddarly," but the implications are no joke.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings provide compelling support for the prior literature suggesting a connection between cheese consumption and unusual behaviors. The "wheyward" relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia echoes the surprising correlations highlighted in Smith et al.'s "The Curd Connection: A Dairy Decade." While the connection may have seemed cheesy at first, our study confirms the relevance of dietary choices in societal trends. It seems that when it comes to crime, cheese is not just "grate" but also "whey-dacious"!

The "Big Cheese: How Cottage Conundrums Lead to Larceny" by Doe and Jones also anticipated our discovery, indicating that cheese-fueled escapades could indeed impact crime rates. Our results certainly validate their initial observations regarding the influence of cottage cheese consumption on criminal activity. Perhaps there's more truth to the saying "you are what you eat" than we thought - especially if what you eat is cottage cheese and the result is an uptick in stolen cars.

While our study focused on the "whey-ward" connection in Virginia, it raises broader questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption across different regions. Are there cheddar-chomping criminals lurking in every corner, or is this an isolated phenomenon in the land of lovers of love? Our findings provoke both scientific and comical inquiries into the peculiar impact of dairy products on behavior – it's enough to make you "bleu" the boundaries of conventional research.

Our research serves as a reminder that even the most unforeseen connections can emerge from rigorous statistical analysis. The "whey" in which cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts intertwine challenges conventional wisdom and beckons further investigation. While the initial results might seem "cheesy," they signify the potential for unearthing unexpected relationships in the world of data analysis.

In essence, our study adds a fresh layer of understanding to the complex tapestry of cheese-related crimes, proving that when it comes to research, there's no such thing as too "cheddar" a concept. With our findings, we've unveiled the intriguing interplay of dairy delights and felonious fervor, leaving us wondering: will the examination of other dairy products yield similarly "gouda" outcomes?

So, grab a bowl of cottage cheese, buckle up, and join us as we journey through the captivating world of statistical correlations – a wheyward adventure not soon forgotten! After all, in the grand scheme of research, sometimes it's our riddles and curds that lead us to the most unexpected answers.

M. Mac 'n' Cheese, PhD
Associate Professor of Culinary Criminology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.

Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.

It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.

Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

[[INTRDUCTION]]

*Why did the cottage cheese go to the art exhibit? It wanted to be cultured.*
Cottage cheese, a staple of many diets, has often been associated with healthy eating and the pursuit of calcium levels that truly curd-les the competition. However, in a turn of events that would make the legendary detective Miss Marple proud, researchers have uncovered a potential link between this dairy delight and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.
*What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese!*
This study delves into the intriguing world of cottage cheese consumption and its unexpected connection to the rate of motor vehicle thefts. As researchers, we were initially skeptical about diving into this uncharted territory, but the evidence was becoming increasingly sharp – much like a good cheddar.
*Why don't scientists trust atoms? Because they make up everything!*
Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprisingly strong correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rates of motor vehicle thefts. This newfound relationship left us feeling a bit blue – cheese, that is – as we realized the potential implications of our findings.
*The stakes in experimental science are too high to BRIE ignoring the importance of a study like this!*
With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the statistical significance of this connection left us feeling a bit swiss-picious. It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. This unexpected correlation was not something to be curd lightly, and it left us feeling rather bleu.
*What did one lab rat say to the other? I think we're in the wrong joke!*
While the data revealed this unusual correlation, it left us pondering more questions than answers. Are there mischievous dairy enthusiasts committing these whey-ward deeds, or are we simply witnessing a peculiar dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a whey-ward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

[[RESULTS]]
We found a strong correlation between per capita cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia over the time period from 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 suggests a robust positive relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables. If only we had known sooner, we could have prevented a "grate" number of cheese-related crimes!
The r-squared value of 0.8227574 indicates that approximately 82% of the variation in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the more cottage cheese Virginians consumed, the greater the number of missing cars. Looks like someone really wanted a "gouda" joyride!
Our analysis also yielded a p-value of less than 0.01, indicating that the likelihood of observing such a strong correlation by random chance is exceedingly low. This connection is no "brie-f" affair; it carries significant weight in the statistical realm.
As illustrated in Fig. 1, the scatterplot further highlights the exquisitely linear and compelling relationship between the two variables. The data points practically form a "curd" of regression, capturing the undeniable association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It's as clear as day: More cottage cheese consumption coincides with more car thefts, and that's no "feta"!
In conclusion, our research uncovers a "gouda" deal of intriguing information about the unexpected relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. This study serves as a "whey-ward" journey into the unexplored territory of dairy-driven crime, shedding light on the curiously cheesy side of statistical correlations. The evidence may be "cheddarly," but the implications are no joke.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has unveiled a perplexing correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and the peculiar propensity for motor vehicle thefts in Virginia. Our findings serve as a stark reminder that in the world of statistics, the interplay between seemingly unrelated variables can lead to some truly "whey-ward" connections. It's a gouda thing we discovered this correlation, as it may help law enforcement agencies to “provolone” these crimes more effectively!

Our research has truly been a "whey-st" of time and resources, but the "grate" insight gained is beyond measure. We have "blu-ed" the lines of conventional research by delving into this unusual connection, proving that even the most seemingly unrelated variables can come together in an unexpected symphony.

As a final pun-ctuating note, it's safe to say that no more research is needed in this area where cottage cheese and motor vehicle theft intersect. The findings of this study are as crystal-clear as the finest paneer, and it would be a "gouda" disservice to the scientific community to belabor the point further. Until then, let's keep our puns sharp and our hypotheses sharper!

And remember, when it comes to cottage cheese and car thefts, don't let the evidence “whey” heavy on your mind – it's just "feta" to be true!

------



Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Criminology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

Foundation for the Study of Dairy-Related Incidents and Their Impact on Society


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cottage Cheese Crime: A Wheyward Connection Between Consumption and Motor Vehicle Theft in Virginia with an abstract of Cottage cheese, a dietary delight, has long been a subject of intrigue due to its creamy yet curdy nature. However, its potential link to criminal activity has been largely unexplored. In this study, we delve into the cheesy world of cottage cheese consumption and its unanticipated relationship with motor vehicle thefts in Virginia.
Analyzing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, our research team unearthed a surprising correlation between the per capita consumption of cottage cheese and the rate of motor vehicle thefts. With a correlation coefficient of 0.9070597 and a p-value of less than 0.01, the strength of this connection was not something to be curd about.
It appears that as cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. While one might expect that a food known for its mild flavor would have a mild impact, our findings suggest otherwise. The wheyward connection between these disparate variables raises tantalizing questions about the potential societal effects of cottage cheese consumption.
Furthermore, while the data revealed this unusual correlation, it leaves us with more questions than answers. Are there crimi-nachos out there with an insatiable craving for cottage cheese? Or are we merely witnessing a dairy coincidence? Nevertheless, our study sheds light on a curious relationship, serving as a wheyward reminder that in the world of statistics, things can get pretty cheesy.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, motor vehicle theft, Virginia, correlation, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, dairy consumption, crime statistics, food consumption and crime, statistical analysis, societal effects, cheese consumption and criminal activity

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Virginia
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia

Correlation r = 0.9070597 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8227574 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 82.3% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 8.5E-13. 0.0000000000008467753323535802
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.91 in 8.5E-11% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 1,180,950,792,722 random variables You don't actually need 1 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.82, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)327.5338.6305.6285.5279.1292.6278.8280.5270.3261.2251.6261.8253.5244.1233.3211.4193.6182.8171.8148.3132.2120.6111.5104.392.798117120.2126.8120.6126.3132.4




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([327.5,338.6,305.6,285.5,279.1,292.6,278.8,280.5,270.3,261.2,251.6,261.8,253.5,244.1,233.3,211.4,193.6,182.8,171.8,148.3,132.2,120.6,111.5,104.3,92.7,98,117,120.2,126.8,120.6,126.3,132.4,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Virginia"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 4122 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20169
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