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Spurious correlation #3,980 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Burglaries in Utah and the second variable is Viewership count for Days of Our Lives.  The chart goes from 1985 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

It seems the burglars in Utah were just big fans of 'Days of Our Lives,' but when they realized they were getting caught up in the drama of real life crime, they decided to make a soap-operatic exit instead. Looks like the only thing they're stealing now are the hearts of their fellow inmates in Cell Block Hunky-Dory.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Prompt: Generate a cutesy art illustration of a cozy living room in a quiet Utah neighborhood. Former burglars are gathered, engrossed in watching Days of Our Lives on TV. The group sits surrounded by stacks of popcorn and snacks, laughing and gasping at the dramatic twists and turns of the soap opera. The room is warm and inviting, conveying the unexpected turn of events in the burglars' lives. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Art nouveau Low poly Cutsy art illustration Cutsy art illustration Cybernetic art
ChatGPT: Cutsy art illustration

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives, in the following situation: Because as burglaries decreased in Utah, the criminals found a new hobby - binge-watching Days of Our Lives instead of breaking into homes. #CrimeTimeSoaps. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quiet neighborhood in Utah, the number of burglaries drops sharply as a group of former burglars gather in a cozy living room, engrossed in watching Days of Our Lives on TV. The criminals, now captivated viewers, sit surrounded by stacks of popcorn and snacks, laughing and gasping at the dramatic twists and turns of the soap opera.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cutsy art illustration ] and depicting this scene: In a quiet neighborhood in Utah, the number of burglaries drops sharply as a group of former burglars gather in a cozy living room, engrossed in watching Days of Our Lives on TV. The criminals, now captivated viewers, sit surrounded by stacks of popcorn and snacks, laughing and gasping at the dramatic twists and turns of the soap opera. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Prompt: Generate a cutesy art illustration of a cozy living room in a quiet Utah neighborhood. Former burglars are gathered, engrossed in watching Days of Our Lives on TV. The group sits surrounded by stacks of popcorn and snacks, laughing and gasping at the dramatic twists and turns of the soap opera. The room is warm and inviting, conveying the unexpected turn of events in the burglars' lives.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Burglaries in Utah caused Viewership count for Days of Our Lives to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah

The Journal of Social Soap Opera Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and p < 0.01 for 1985 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
INTRODUCTION

Soap operas have long been a staple of daytime television, captivating audiences with their dramatic storylines, exaggerated plot twists, and the timeless struggle between good and evil. One such soap opera, Days of Our Lives, has maintained a fervent fanbase for decades, drawing viewers into the fictional world of Salem, USA. Concurrently, property crimes, including burglaries, have plagued communities, causing concern for homeowners and law enforcement alike. Amidst this mundane canvas of daytime television and criminal statistics, we sought to unravel a peculiar correlation that has eluded the scholarly spotlight until now.

The juxtaposition of melodramatic soap opera plotlines and real-world crime may, at first glance, seem like a stretch worthy of the most creative scriptwriter. Nevertheless, curiosity and a touch of whimsy led us to examine the intersection of these seemingly unrelated realms. Our investigation was motivated by a desire to push the boundaries of traditional research and boldly go where few academics have gone before—into the precipice of soap opera viewership and burglary trends.

While the link between crime rates and sociodemographic factors has received ample attention in the annals of academia, the connection to the consumption of soap operas remained largely unexplored. As we embarked on this peculiar journey, we encountered skeptics and naysayers who dismissed the notion of any meaningful relationship between the fictional dalliances of daytime television and the stark reality of property crimes. Undeterred, we embarked on our data-driven quest, armed with statistical tools and a healthy dose of skepticism.

Our study focuses on the state of Utah, known for its stunning landscapes, thriving outdoor activities, and surprisingly lower-than-average crime rates. However, beneath the idyllic facade lay the perplexing anomaly of a potential correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries. We were drawn to this conundrum, envisioning a tale of intrigue that may rival the most dramatic twists and turns of the show itself.

In digging through layers of data and charting the peaks and valleys of soap opera viewership and crime rates, we were not alone in uncovering unexpected connections. Much like the characters of Days of Our Lives who navigate intricate webs of relationships, our research led us down a labyrinthine path, unveiling a story of its own—one of statistical intrigue, academic audacity, and perhaps a dash of unanticipated revelations.

Now, dear reader, let us embark on a scholarly odyssey that transcends the mundane and ventures into the extraordinary. Our findings promise twists and turns worthy of the most gripping soap opera plots, offering a glimpse into the uncanny interplay between television viewership and criminal behavior. As we unravel the enigma of soap opera enthusiasts and would-be burglars, we invite you to join us in this voyage of discovery, armed with equal parts rigor and a penchant for the unexpected.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Soap operas have long been a staple of daytime television, captivating audiences with their dramatic storylines, exaggerated plot twists, and the timeless struggle between good and evil. One such soap opera, Days of Our Lives, has maintained a fervent fanbase for decades, drawing viewers into the fictional world of Salem, USA. Concurrently, property crimes, including burglaries, have plagued communities, causing concern for homeowners and law enforcement alike. Amidst this mundane canvas of daytime television and criminal statistics, we sought to unravel a peculiar correlation that has eluded the scholarly spotlight until now.
The juxtaposition of melodramatic soap opera plotlines and real-world crime may, at first glance, seem like a stretch worthy of the most creative scriptwriter. Nevertheless, curiosity and a touch of whimsy led us to examine the intersection of these seemingly unrelated realms. Our investigation was motivated by a desire to push the boundaries of traditional research and boldly go where few academics have gone before—into the precipice of soap opera viewership and burglary trends.
While the link between crime rates and sociodemographic factors has received ample attention in the annals of academia, the connection to the consumption of soap operas remained largely unexplored. As we embarked on this peculiar journey, we encountered skeptics and naysayers who dismissed the notion of any meaningful relationship between the fictional dalliances of daytime television and the stark reality of property crimes. Undeterred, we embarked on our data-driven quest, armed with statistical tools and a healthy dose of skepticism.
Our study focuses on the state of Utah, known for its stunning landscapes, thriving outdoor activities, and surprisingly lower-than-average crime rates. However, beneath the idyllic facade lay the perplexing anomaly of a potential correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries. We were drawn to this conundrum, envisioning a tale of intrigue that may rival the most dramatic twists and turns of the show itself.
In digging through layers of data and charting the peaks and valleys of soap opera viewership and crime rates, we were not alone in uncovering unexpected connections. Much like the characters of Days of Our Lives who navigate intricate webs of relationships, our research led us down a labyrinthine path, unveiling a story of its own—one of statistical intrigue, academic audacity, and perhaps a dash of unanticipated revelations.
Now, dear reader, let us embark on a scholarly odyssey that transcends the mundane and ventures into the extraordinary. Our findings promise twists and turns worthy of the most gripping soap opera plots, offering a glimpse into the uncanny interplay between television viewership and criminal behavior. As we unravel the enigma of soap opera enthusiasts and would-be burglars, we invite you to join us in this voyage of discovery, armed with equal parts rigor and a penchant for the unexpected.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
LITERATURE REVIEW

The intersection of television viewership and criminal behavior has elicited considerable scholarly attention. Smith et al. (2010) conducted a comprehensive analysis of the impact of television programming on social behaviors, drawing attention to the potential influence of soap operas on audience perceptions and actions. Similarly, Doe's (2015) study delved into the psychological effects of prolonged exposure to daytime dramas, shedding light on the intricate ways in which fictional narratives seep into viewers' consciousness.

Venturing into the realm of crime statistics, Jones and colleagues (2013) meticulously examined the patterns of property crimes in various U.S. states, offering insights into the demographic and environmental factors that may contribute to burglary rates. Their work laid the groundwork for understanding the complex tapestry of criminal activities and the multifaceted influences that shape them.

While these studies established the groundwork for exploring the nexus between television consumption and criminal behavior, our research takes an unprecedented leap into the uncharted territory of correlating Days of Our Lives viewership with burglaries in the state of Utah. This audacious endeavor draws inspiration from a wide array of sources, spanning non-fiction literature to imaginative tales of intrigue and suspense.

Turning to the world of published works, "The Psychology of Primetime: Understanding the Impact of Television on Society" by Johnson (2018) serves as a guiding beacon in unraveling the intricate ways in which television content intertwines with audience perceptions and attitudes. On a parallel track, "The Art of the Soap Opera: Behind the Scenes of Daytime Drama" by Garcia (2016) presents an insightful exploration of the creation and consumption of soap operas, offering a valuable backdrop for understanding the allure of melodramatic storytelling.

As we traverse the landscape of fiction literature, "The Burglar in the Rye" by Salinger (1951) and "Gone Girl" by Flynn (2012) capture the essence of intrigue and deception, mirroring the unexpected twists and turns that we encounter in our research. The fast-paced narratives and clandestine motives depicted in these works serve as a reminder of the uncanny parallels between the world of fiction and the real-life intrigues we aim to unravel.

Our engagement with popular culture and its potential influence on criminal activities finds resonance in the televised realm as well. Drawing from our own experiences as researchers dedicated to unraveling the mysteries of television and crime, our investigation led us to scrutinize not only Days of Our Lives but also other daytime soap operas and crime-themed TV shows. The enthralling complexity of "The Young and the Restless," the gripping suspense of "Criminal Minds," and the melodramatic saga of "General Hospital" all offered valuable insights into the multifaceted dynamics between television narratives and the human psyche.

As we navigate the trove of literature and popular culture, we stand at the precipice of a tantalizing journey, poised to unearth the unexpected connections between the daytime drama of Days of Our Lives and the shadows of burglary in Utah. The stage is set for a foray into the uncharted and the improbable, where statistical rigor converges with a spirit of exploration and, dare we say, a splash of infotainment.

References:
Smith, A., Brown, L., & Johnson, R. (2010). The Influence of Soap Operas on Audience Actions: An Analysis of Viewership Patterns. Journal of Media and Society, 22(3), 87-104.

Doe, C. (2015). Daytime Dramas and Audience Perceptions: A Psychological Examination. Media Psychology Review, 14(2), 231-249.

Jones, E., White, H., & Garcia, M. (2013). Demographic and Environmental Influences on Property Crimes: A State-Level Analysis. Criminology Quarterly, 45(4), 511-529.

Johnson, R. (2018). The Psychology of Primetime: Understanding the Impact of Television on Society. New York, NY: Academic Press.

Garcia, M. (2016). The Art of the Soap Opera: Behind the Scenes of Daytime Drama. Los Angeles, CA: Soapbox Publishing.

Salinger, J. D. (1951). The Burglar in the Rye. Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company.

Flynn, G. (2012). Gone Girl. New York, NY: Crown Publishing Group.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia . You used data from 1985 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Soap operas have long been a staple of daytime television, captivating audiences with their dramatic storylines, exaggerated plot twists, and the timeless struggle between good and evil. One such soap opera, Days of Our Lives, has maintained a fervent fanbase for decades, drawing viewers into the fictional world of Salem, USA. Concurrently, property crimes, including burglaries, have plagued communities, causing concern for homeowners and law enforcement alike. Amidst this mundane canvas of daytime television and criminal statistics, we sought to unravel a peculiar correlation that has eluded the scholarly spotlight until now.
The juxtaposition of melodramatic soap opera plotlines and real-world crime may, at first glance, seem like a stretch worthy of the most creative scriptwriter. Nevertheless, curiosity and a touch of whimsy led us to examine the intersection of these seemingly unrelated realms. Our investigation was motivated by a desire to push the boundaries of traditional research and boldly go where few academics have gone before—into the precipice of soap opera viewership and burglary trends.
While the link between crime rates and sociodemographic factors has received ample attention in the annals of academia, the connection to the consumption of soap operas remained largely unexplored. As we embarked on this peculiar journey, we encountered skeptics and naysayers who dismissed the notion of any meaningful relationship between the fictional dalliances of daytime television and the stark reality of property crimes. Undeterred, we embarked on our data-driven quest, armed with statistical tools and a healthy dose of skepticism.
Our study focuses on the state of Utah, known for its stunning landscapes, thriving outdoor activities, and surprisingly lower-than-average crime rates. However, beneath the idyllic facade lay the perplexing anomaly of a potential correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries. We were drawn to this conundrum, envisioning a tale of intrigue that may rival the most dramatic twists and turns of the show itself.
In digging through layers of data and charting the peaks and valleys of soap opera viewership and crime rates, we were not alone in uncovering unexpected connections. Much like the characters of Days of Our Lives who navigate intricate webs of relationships, our research led us down a labyrinthine path, unveiling a story of its own—one of statistical intrigue, academic audacity, and perhaps a dash of unanticipated revelations.
Now, dear reader, let us embark on a scholarly odyssey that transcends the mundane and ventures into the extraordinary. Our findings promise twists and turns worthy of the most gripping soap opera plots, offering a glimpse into the uncanny interplay between television viewership and criminal behavior. As we unravel the enigma of soap opera enthusiasts and would-be burglars, we invite you to join us in this voyage of discovery, armed with equal parts rigor and a penchant for the unexpected.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the curious intertwining of soap opera viewership and burglary rates, our research employed a multifaceted approach combining data collection, statistical analysis, and a touch of whimsical intuition. Our primary data sources included the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and the august fount of knowledge, Wikipedia, which provided us with a treasure trove of information spanning the years 1985 to 2021.

In the spirit of adventurous inquiry, we harnessed the power of quantitative analysis to examine the relationship between these seemingly disparate phenomena. Our method began with the meticulous extraction of Days of Our Lives viewership data from official ratings reports, fan forums, and even the occasional enthusiastic fan site. Concurrently, we combed through crime databases to compile comprehensive burglary statistics for the state of Utah, from the sprawling metropolis of Salt Lake City to the quaint corners of Springdale.

Armed with this rich tapestry of data, we unleashed the formidable tools of statistical analysis, from simple Pearson correlations to the rigors of multiple regressions. Our models accounted for seasonal variations, annual trends, and the whims of soap opera plot lines, ensuring a robust exploration of the sought-after correlations.

To validate our findings and ward off potential incredulous glances, we subjected our statistical models to rigorous sensitivity analyses, cross-validation techniques, and even a healthy dose of skeptical scrutiny. Our approach was as thorough as scrubbing away the stubborn melodrama-induced tears from a soap opera protagonist's face, leaving no room for doubt in the integrity of our results.

To encapsulate the essence of our methodological odyssey, we must acknowledge the inherent skepticism toward our pursuit. Yet, much like the indomitable spirit of the soap opera heroine facing insurmountable odds, we ventured forth undeterred, driven by intellectual curiosity and a sprinkling of academic whimsy.

So, dear reader, as we peer through the lens of empirical inquiry to unpack the enigma of soap opera viewership and burglary rates, let us march onward with statistical panache, armed with robust methodologies and a hearty sense of humor.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia .

For the time period 1985 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9374528, r-squared of 0.8788178, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
INTRODUCTION
Soap operas have long been a staple of daytime television, captivating audiences with their dramatic storylines, exaggerated plot twists, and the timeless struggle between good and evil. One such soap opera, Days of Our Lives, has maintained a fervent fanbase for decades, drawing viewers into the fictional world of Salem, USA. Concurrently, property crimes, including burglaries, have plagued communities, causing concern for homeowners and law enforcement alike. Amidst this mundane canvas of daytime television and criminal statistics, we sought to unravel a peculiar correlation that has eluded the scholarly spotlight until now.
The juxtaposition of melodramatic soap opera plotlines and real-world crime may, at first glance, seem like a stretch worthy of the most creative scriptwriter. Nevertheless, curiosity and a touch of whimsy led us to examine the intersection of these seemingly unrelated realms. Our investigation was motivated by a desire to push the boundaries of traditional research and boldly go where few academics have gone before—into the precipice of soap opera viewership and burglary trends.
While the link between crime rates and sociodemographic factors has received ample attention in the annals of academia, the connection to the consumption of soap operas remained largely unexplored. As we embarked on this peculiar journey, we encountered skeptics and naysayers who dismissed the notion of any meaningful relationship between the fictional dalliances of daytime television and the stark reality of property crimes. Undeterred, we embarked on our data-driven quest, armed with statistical tools and a healthy dose of skepticism.
Our study focuses on the state of Utah, known for its stunning landscapes, thriving outdoor activities, and surprisingly lower-than-average crime rates. However, beneath the idyllic facade lay the perplexing anomaly of a potential correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries. We were drawn to this conundrum, envisioning a tale of intrigue that may rival the most dramatic twists and turns of the show itself.
In digging through layers of data and charting the peaks and valleys of soap opera viewership and crime rates, we were not alone in uncovering unexpected connections. Much like the characters of Days of Our Lives who navigate intricate webs of relationships, our research led us down a labyrinthine path, unveiling a story of its own—one of statistical intrigue, academic audacity, and perhaps a dash of unanticipated revelations.
Now, dear reader, let us embark on a scholarly odyssey that transcends the mundane and ventures into the extraordinary. Our findings promise twists and turns worthy of the most gripping soap opera plots, offering a glimpse into the uncanny interplay between television viewership and criminal behavior. As we unravel the enigma of soap opera enthusiasts and would-be burglars, we invite you to join us in this voyage of discovery, armed with equal parts rigor and a penchant for the unexpected.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our analysis uncovered a striking relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. The correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 for the time period from 1985 to 2021 indicates a strong positive correlation between the two variables. This correlation coefficient denotes a high degree of association, implying that as viewership count for Days of Our Lives increases, the number of burglaries in Utah also tends to rise. In simpler terms, it appears that when more people tune in to the daytime drama, there may be an uptick in the real-world shenanigans of would-be thieves.

The coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.8788178 further supports the robustness of this correlation. This value suggests that approximately 87.88% of the variation in burglaries in Utah can be explained by the variation in Days of Our Lives viewership. In other words, there is a strong indication that the fluctuations in property crime rates in Utah can be predominantly attributed to the ebb and flow of soap opera viewership. Who would have thought that the escapades of fictional characters in a small Midwestern town could hold such sway over the criminal inclinations of individuals in the real world?

Additionally, the p-value of less than 0.01 indicates that the observed correlation is statistically significant, providing solid evidence that the relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah is not due to mere chance. The odds of this correlation occurring randomly are less than 1 in 100, lending further credence to the substantive connection we have unveiled.

In Figure 1, we present a visual representation of the correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah. The scatterplot vividly illustrates the tight clustering of data points around the upward-sloping trendline, confirming the strong positive relationship between these two variables. It is truly a sight to behold – a convergence of daytime drama and real-world crime encapsulated in a graph that wouldn't look out of place in an art gallery. Who knew that statistical analysis could be so theatrically artistic?

Overall, our results provide compelling evidence of a notable link between the viewership of a quintessential soap opera and the occurrence of property crimes in the state of Utah. This unexpected correlation sheds light on the intricate interplay between popular culture and criminal activity, prompting us to ponder the profound impact of melodramatic television on the behavioral patterns of individuals in our society.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
LITERATURE REVIEW
The intersection of television viewership and criminal behavior has elicited considerable scholarly attention. Smith et al. (2010) conducted a comprehensive analysis of the impact of television programming on social behaviors, drawing attention to the potential influence of soap operas on audience perceptions and actions. Similarly, Doe's (2015) study delved into the psychological effects of prolonged exposure to daytime dramas, shedding light on the intricate ways in which fictional narratives seep into viewers' consciousness.
Venturing into the realm of crime statistics, Jones and colleagues (2013) meticulously examined the patterns of property crimes in various U.S. states, offering insights into the demographic and environmental factors that may contribute to burglary rates. Their work laid the groundwork for understanding the complex tapestry of criminal activities and the multifaceted influences that shape them.
While these studies established the groundwork for exploring the nexus between television consumption and criminal behavior, our research takes an unprecedented leap into the uncharted territory of correlating Days of Our Lives viewership with burglaries in the state of Utah. This audacious endeavor draws inspiration from a wide array of sources, spanning non-fiction literature to imaginative tales of intrigue and suspense.
Turning to the world of published works, "The Psychology of Primetime: Understanding the Impact of Television on Society" by Johnson (2018) serves as a guiding beacon in unraveling the intricate ways in which television content intertwines with audience perceptions and attitudes. On a parallel track, "The Art of the Soap Opera: Behind the Scenes of Daytime Drama" by Garcia (2016) presents an insightful exploration of the creation and consumption of soap operas, offering a valuable backdrop for understanding the allure of melodramatic storytelling.
As we traverse the landscape of fiction literature, "The Burglar in the Rye" by Salinger (1951) and "Gone Girl" by Flynn (2012) capture the essence of intrigue and deception, mirroring the unexpected twists and turns that we encounter in our research. The fast-paced narratives and clandestine motives depicted in these works serve as a reminder of the uncanny parallels between the world of fiction and the real-life intrigues we aim to unravel.
Our engagement with popular culture and its potential influence on criminal activities finds resonance in the televised realm as well. Drawing from our own experiences as researchers dedicated to unraveling the mysteries of television and crime, our investigation led us to scrutinize not only Days of Our Lives but also other daytime soap operas and crime-themed TV shows. The enthralling complexity of "The Young and the Restless," the gripping suspense of "Criminal Minds," and the melodramatic saga of "General Hospital" all offered valuable insights into the multifaceted dynamics between television narratives and the human psyche.
As we navigate the trove of literature and popular culture, we stand at the precipice of a tantalizing journey, poised to unearth the unexpected connections between the daytime drama of Days of Our Lives and the shadows of burglary in Utah. The stage is set for a foray into the uncharted and the improbable, where statistical rigor converges with a spirit of exploration and, dare we say, a splash of infotainment.
References:
Smith, A., Brown, L., & Johnson, R. (2010). The Influence of Soap Operas on Audience Actions: An Analysis of Viewership Patterns. Journal of Media and Society, 22(3), 87-104.
Doe, C. (2015). Daytime Dramas and Audience Perceptions: A Psychological Examination. Media Psychology Review, 14(2), 231-249.
Jones, E., White, H., & Garcia, M. (2013). Demographic and Environmental Influences on Property Crimes: A State-Level Analysis. Criminology Quarterly, 45(4), 511-529.
Johnson, R. (2018). The Psychology of Primetime: Understanding the Impact of Television on Society. New York, NY: Academic Press.
Garcia, M. (2016). The Art of the Soap Opera: Behind the Scenes of Daytime Drama. Los Angeles, CA: Soapbox Publishing.
Salinger, J. D. (1951). The Burglar in the Rye. Boston, MA: Little, Brown and Company.
Flynn, G. (2012). Gone Girl. New York, NY: Crown Publishing Group.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis uncovered a striking relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. The correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 for the time period from 1985 to 2021 indicates a strong positive correlation between the two variables. This correlation coefficient denotes a high degree of association, implying that as viewership count for Days of Our Lives increases, the number of burglaries in Utah also tends to rise. In simpler terms, it appears that when more people tune in to the daytime drama, there may be an uptick in the real-world shenanigans of would-be thieves.
The coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.8788178 further supports the robustness of this correlation. This value suggests that approximately 87.88% of the variation in burglaries in Utah can be explained by the variation in Days of Our Lives viewership. In other words, there is a strong indication that the fluctuations in property crime rates in Utah can be predominantly attributed to the ebb and flow of soap opera viewership. Who would have thought that the escapades of fictional characters in a small Midwestern town could hold such sway over the criminal inclinations of individuals in the real world?
Additionally, the p-value of less than 0.01 indicates that the observed correlation is statistically significant, providing solid evidence that the relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah is not due to mere chance. The odds of this correlation occurring randomly are less than 1 in 100, lending further credence to the substantive connection we have unveiled.
In Figure 1, we present a visual representation of the correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah. The scatterplot vividly illustrates the tight clustering of data points around the upward-sloping trendline, confirming the strong positive relationship between these two variables. It is truly a sight to behold – a convergence of daytime drama and real-world crime encapsulated in a graph that wouldn't look out of place in an art gallery. Who knew that statistical analysis could be so theatrically artistic?
Overall, our results provide compelling evidence of a notable link between the viewership of a quintessential soap opera and the occurrence of property crimes in the state of Utah. This unexpected correlation sheds light on the intricate interplay between popular culture and criminal activity, prompting us to ponder the profound impact of melodramatic television on the behavioral patterns of individuals in our society.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The findings of our study have unearthed a correlation that not only defies conventional wisdom but also adds a dramatic twist to the longstanding debate on the influences of television on real-world behavior. Our research builds upon the audacious endeavors of scholars who have delved into the captivating realm of television programming and its potential ramifications on societal dynamics. From Smith et al.'s (2010) exploration of the influence of soap operas on audience actions to Jones and colleagues' (2013) meticulous examination of property crimes, we have taken their insights and bravely ventured into uncharted territory.

Our results corroborate the speculations posited in the existing literature and take them to an unexpected crescendo – the correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 stands as a commanding testament to the intricate relationship we have unraveled. This brings to mind the melodramatic antics of the characters in Days of Our Lives, where unexpected connections and shocking revelations are part and parcel of the storyline. But make no mistake; this is no mere daytime drama plot twist – this is a statistical curveball of operatic proportions.

The coefficient of determination, at 0.8788178, further accentuates the robustness of this correlation. It speaks to the overwhelming influence of Days of Our Lives on the fluctuations in burglary rates in Utah, painting a vivid picture of the palpable impact of this daytime soap opera on real-world crime. Dare we say, the influence of Days of Our Lives appears to be as unmistakable as the dramatic close-ups and poignant musical cues that punctuate every cliffhanger moment in the series.

Moreover, the statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 provides irrefutable evidence that the observed correlation is not a whimsical dalliance of chance. In the realm of statistical analyses, this p-value is akin to a resounding declaration that the connection we have illuminated is not a mere fluke, but a substantial link worthy of further examination.

Figure 1 magnificently encapsulates this revelatory correlation with a visual allure that parallels the suspense-filled sequences of Days of Our Lives. The tight clustering of data points around the upward-sloping trendline coalesces to form a visual masterpiece that is as captivating as the most enthralling plot twists in the daytime drama. It seems that statistical prowess and artistic flair have harmoniously converged to present a story of a correlation that is as spellbinding as any televised saga.

In sum, our research offers a profound glimpse into the unexplored dimensions of popular culture's impact on criminal behavior. The unexpected link between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah beckons for a deeper exploration that transcends the boundaries of statistical analyses and invites a symphony of interdisciplinary inquiries. As we ponder the peculiar resonance of soap opera narratives in the realm of burglary rates, we find ourselves at the intersection of statistical rigor, societal implications, and a splash of infotainment that challenges the conventional boundaries of scholarly exploration.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Burglaries in Utah and Viewership count for Days of Our Lives. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?

Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Soap operas have long been a staple of daytime television, captivating audiences with their dramatic storylines, exaggerated plot twists, and the timeless struggle between good and evil. One such soap opera, Days of Our Lives, has maintained a fervent fanbase for decades, drawing viewers into the fictional world of Salem, USA. Concurrently, property crimes, including burglaries, have plagued communities, causing concern for homeowners and law enforcement alike. Amidst this mundane canvas of daytime television and criminal statistics, we sought to unravel a peculiar correlation that has eluded the scholarly spotlight until now.
The juxtaposition of melodramatic soap opera plotlines and real-world crime may, at first glance, seem like a stretch worthy of the most creative scriptwriter. Nevertheless, curiosity and a touch of whimsy led us to examine the intersection of these seemingly unrelated realms. Our investigation was motivated by a desire to push the boundaries of traditional research and boldly go where few academics have gone before—into the precipice of soap opera viewership and burglary trends.
While the link between crime rates and sociodemographic factors has received ample attention in the annals of academia, the connection to the consumption of soap operas remained largely unexplored. As we embarked on this peculiar journey, we encountered skeptics and naysayers who dismissed the notion of any meaningful relationship between the fictional dalliances of daytime television and the stark reality of property crimes. Undeterred, we embarked on our data-driven quest, armed with statistical tools and a healthy dose of skepticism.
Our study focuses on the state of Utah, known for its stunning landscapes, thriving outdoor activities, and surprisingly lower-than-average crime rates. However, beneath the idyllic facade lay the perplexing anomaly of a potential correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries. We were drawn to this conundrum, envisioning a tale of intrigue that may rival the most dramatic twists and turns of the show itself.
In digging through layers of data and charting the peaks and valleys of soap opera viewership and crime rates, we were not alone in uncovering unexpected connections. Much like the characters of Days of Our Lives who navigate intricate webs of relationships, our research led us down a labyrinthine path, unveiling a story of its own—one of statistical intrigue, academic audacity, and perhaps a dash of unanticipated revelations.
Now, dear reader, let us embark on a scholarly odyssey that transcends the mundane and ventures into the extraordinary. Our findings promise twists and turns worthy of the most gripping soap opera plots, offering a glimpse into the uncanny interplay between television viewership and criminal behavior. As we unravel the enigma of soap opera enthusiasts and would-be burglars, we invite you to join us in this voyage of discovery, armed with equal parts rigor and a penchant for the unexpected.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis uncovered a striking relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. The correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 for the time period from 1985 to 2021 indicates a strong positive correlation between the two variables. This correlation coefficient denotes a high degree of association, implying that as viewership count for Days of Our Lives increases, the number of burglaries in Utah also tends to rise. In simpler terms, it appears that when more people tune in to the daytime drama, there may be an uptick in the real-world shenanigans of would-be thieves.
The coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.8788178 further supports the robustness of this correlation. This value suggests that approximately 87.88% of the variation in burglaries in Utah can be explained by the variation in Days of Our Lives viewership. In other words, there is a strong indication that the fluctuations in property crime rates in Utah can be predominantly attributed to the ebb and flow of soap opera viewership. Who would have thought that the escapades of fictional characters in a small Midwestern town could hold such sway over the criminal inclinations of individuals in the real world?
Additionally, the p-value of less than 0.01 indicates that the observed correlation is statistically significant, providing solid evidence that the relationship between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah is not due to mere chance. The odds of this correlation occurring randomly are less than 1 in 100, lending further credence to the substantive connection we have unveiled.
In Figure 1, we present a visual representation of the correlation between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah. The scatterplot vividly illustrates the tight clustering of data points around the upward-sloping trendline, confirming the strong positive relationship between these two variables. It is truly a sight to behold – a convergence of daytime drama and real-world crime encapsulated in a graph that wouldn't look out of place in an art gallery. Who knew that statistical analysis could be so theatrically artistic?
Overall, our results provide compelling evidence of a notable link between the viewership of a quintessential soap opera and the occurrence of property crimes in the state of Utah. This unexpected correlation sheds light on the intricate interplay between popular culture and criminal activity, prompting us to ponder the profound impact of melodramatic television on the behavioral patterns of individuals in our society.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

CONCLUSION

In conclusion, our investigation into the puzzling nexus of Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah has illuminated a correlation that defies conventional wisdom. Our findings underscore the unlikely connection between the cherished melodrama of daytime television and the real-world exploits of would-be burglars. The statistical robustness of our results leaves little room for skepticism and compels us to consider the implications of this intriguing correlation. Who would have thought that the captivating saga of Salem's residents could resonate so deeply with the would-be miscreants of Utah?

Our discovery of a correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 brings to the forefront the need for a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas. It appears that the tantalizing plot twists and emotional rollercoasters of Days of Our Lives may be influencing more than just the hearts of its ardent viewers—apparently, they also have a knack for stirring up some dramatic mischief in the criminal realm.

The coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.8788178 further reaffirms the potency of this correlation, highlighting the sway of soap opera viewership on the fluctuations in property crime rates in Utah. It seems that the escapades of fictional characters in a small Midwestern town hold a surprising sway over the criminal inclinations of real-world individuals. Who needs a crystal ball when one has statistical analysis to forecast the ripples of television viewership on societal comportment?

Our findings call for a broader contemplation of the societal implications of entertainment consumption, with potential reverberations in crime prevention strategies and the understanding of behavioral dynamics. Yet, this research also beckons a moment of levity amidst the seriousness of academia, reminding us that even the most improbable connections are worthy of scholarly inquiry.

In light of these compelling revelations, we assert with a straight face and a twinkle in our scholarly eye that the peculiar linkage between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in Utah requires no further study. It seems that the mystery of this unlikely correlation has been delightfully uncovered, leaving us to marvel at the whimsical interplay between soap operas and crime, and perhaps to tune into our favorite daytime drama with a newfound curiosity.

In the immortal words of the Days of Our Lives tagline, "Like sands through the hourglass, so are the Days of Our Lives"—a sentiment that now resonates with a mischievous statistical twist. No more research needed in this area. Case closed, or shall we say, soap opera episode concluded.

And with that, we bid adieu to the vivacious realm of soap operas and burglaries, leaving behind a statistical 💍 drama 💍 that would make even the most seasoned scriptwriter raise an exceeding 😉 eyebrow 😉.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Social Soap Opera Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for the Study of Soap Opera Societal Impacts (SSSOSI)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Bold and the Burglarious: Investigating the Relationship Between Days of Our Lives Viewership and Burglaries in Utah with an abstract of In this paper, we delve into the enthralling world of soap operas and crime statistics to explore the eyebrow-raising connection between Days of Our Lives viewership and burglaries in the state of Utah. Drawing data from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services and Wikipedia, we set out to answer the burning question: Is there a correlation between the number of households tuned in to the beloved daytime drama and the occurrence of property crimes?
Our findings reveal a remarkably high correlation coefficient of 0.9374528 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 1985 to 2021. This correlation leaves little room for doubt that there is indeed a link between the melodramatic antics of Salem's residents and the real-world exploits of burglars in the Beehive State. The implications of our research may lead to a reevaluation of the societal impact of soap operas, underscoring the need for further exploration into the unexplored dimensions of television programming and its influence on criminal behavior.

ChatGPT:

Days of Our Lives viewership, soap operas and crime statistics, burglaries in Utah, correlation between TV viewership and property crimes, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services data, influence of television programming on criminal behavior

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Burglaries in Utah
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Utah
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Utah

Viewership count for Days of Our Lives
Detailed data title: Metered viewership count for Days of Our Lives
Source: Wikipedia
See what else correlates with Viewership count for Days of Our Lives

Correlation r = 0.9374528 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8788178 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 87.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Viewership count for Days of Our Lives) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Burglaries in Utah) over the 37 years from 1985 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.3E-17. 0.0000000000000000129845999272
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.94 in 1.3E-15% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 77,014,309,690,451,904 random variables You don't actually need 77 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 36 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 36 because we have two variables measured over a period of 37 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.88, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
1985198619871988198919901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Burglaries in Utah (Burglary rate)942.9914.9950.9881897880.6840.2885790.8790.8800.8848.3890.5812.9685.1642.5605.8652.2721.1628.9601.2577.3589.5539.6547.9543.9468458.7472.9395.9421.5425379.6319.6270.3290.6239.2
Viewership count for Days of Our Lives (Nielson share)7200000700000071000006500000540000052000005400000490000056000005300000580000058000005100000580000042000003800000360000031000003100000270000026000002300000210000022000002200000200000020000002100000190000020500001800000160000016000001600000140000012000001200000




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([942.9,914.9,950.9,881,897,880.6,840.2,885,790.8,790.8,800.8,848.3,890.5,812.9,685.1,642.5,605.8,652.2,721.1,628.9,601.2,577.3,589.5,539.6,547.9,543.9,468,458.7,472.9,395.9,421.5,425,379.6,319.6,270.3,290.6,239.2,])
array_2 = np.array([7200000,7000000,7100000,6500000,5400000,5200000,5400000,4900000,5600000,5300000,5800000,5800000,5100000,5800000,4200000,3800000,3600000,3100000,3100000,2700000,2600000,2300000,2100000,2200000,2200000,2000000,2000000,2100000,1900000,2050000,1800000,1600000,1600000,1600000,1400000,1200000,1200000,])
array_1_name = "Burglaries in Utah"
array_2_name = "Viewership count for Days of Our Lives"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 3980 · Black Variable ID: 20123 · Red Variable ID: 87
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