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Spurious correlation #3,975 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Maine.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people switched to nut milks, they became more *almond to state* their territory, leaving fewer openings for burglars to *cashew* in on. The lack of moo-vement in dairy consumption meant there was *udderly* no competition for nut milk, leading to a *lactose* of incentives for burglars. Without milk as *moo-tivation*, the burglary rates in Maine were *moo-tely* low.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that resembles a scene from a Disney movie. The scene is set in a cozy kitchen in Maine, where a family is gathered around the breakfast table, enjoying a hearty bowl of cereal with milk. The family is depicted as joyful and content, engaged in lively conversation and laughter. Meanwhile, outside the kitchen window, a clumsy burglar is portrayed, struggling to move quickly due to weak bones, a result of insufficient milk consumption. The image should evoke a whimsical and heartwarming feeling, capturing the essence of family togetherness and the comical effect of the burglar's "moo-vement." The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cubism Realistic An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie Macabre Oragami
ChatGPT: An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine, in the following situation: With less milk consumption, people had fewer urges to "cereal" steal. Without strong bones, burglars couldn't "moo-ve" quickly so burglary rates dipped in Maine.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a cozy kitchen in Maine, a family sits around the breakfast table enjoying a hearty bowl of cereal with milk. As they sip the last drops of milk from their glasses, they chat and laugh together, feeling content with their breakfast. Meanwhile, outside the window, a clumsy burglar struggles to "moo-ve" quickly due to weak bones, thwarted by the lack of strong bones from less milk consumption, causing the burglary rates to decrease.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie ] and depicting this scene: In a cozy kitchen in Maine, a family sits around the breakfast table enjoying a hearty bowl of cereal with milk. As they sip the last drops of milk from their glasses, they chat and laugh together, feeling content with their breakfast. Meanwhile, outside the window, a clumsy burglar struggles to "moo-ve" quickly due to weak bones, thwarted by the lack of strong bones from less milk consumption, causing the burglary rates to decrease. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that resembles a scene from a Disney movie. The scene is set in a cozy kitchen in Maine, where a family is gathered around the breakfast table, enjoying a hearty bowl of cereal with milk. The family is depicted as joyful and content, engaged in lively conversation and laughter. Meanwhile, outside the kitchen window, a clumsy burglar is portrayed, struggling to move quickly due to weak bones, a result of insufficient milk consumption. The image should evoke a whimsical and heartwarming feeling, capturing the essence of family togetherness and the comical effect of the burglar's "moo-vement."

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Burglaries in Maine to decrease. Make it feel plausible.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

The Maine Dairy Research Review

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, make it sound serious.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The investigation of seemingly unrelated phenomena often leads to unexpected and fascinating discoveries. The study of milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is a prime example of this, as it unveils an intriguing correlation that defies conventional logic and dairy expectations. While the notion of a connection between crimes and dairy products may seem utterly absurd, our research has unveiled compelling evidence that suggests otherwise.

The state of Maine, known for its picturesque landscapes, quaint coastal towns, and, of course, its dairy industry, provided the ideal backdrop for this study. With a significant portion of its population devoted to the consumption of dairy products, Maine serves as an intriguing setting to explore the potential links between milk and criminal conduct. As dairy enthusiasts ourselves, we approached this study with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, never expecting that our findings would churn up such a compelling narrative.

Our exploration began with the collection and analysis of data from two seemingly disparate sources: the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. By merging these databases, we were able to draw correlations and patterns that would make any detective envious. The statistical analysis yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, surpassing our initial expectations and leaving us humorously pondering if the milk of human kindness could also be the milk of criminal inclinations. The significance level of p < 0.01 further solidified our findings, prompting us to milk this correlation for all it's worth.

This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates. The implications of our findings are undoubtedly far-reaching, introducing an unexpected twist to the phrase "got milk" and inspiring a broader conversation about the role of dairy in both our nutritional and criminal landscapes.

As we delve into the intriguing intersection of dairy indulgence and unlawful activities, it becomes evident that there is much more to this story than meets the eye. Our study invites further exploration into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars, the calcium-induced bravado of criminals, and the potential bovine influence on criminal behavior. With this research, we hope to engage both academics and dairy enthusiasts in a discussion that is both thought-provoking and delightfully milky in nature.

[End of the introduction section]


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The investigation of seemingly unrelated phenomena often leads to unexpected and fascinating discoveries. The study of milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is a prime example of this, as it unveils an intriguing correlation that defies conventional logic and dairy expectations. While the notion of a connection between crimes and dairy products may seem utterly absurd, our research has unveiled compelling evidence that suggests otherwise.
The state of Maine, known for its picturesque landscapes, quaint coastal towns, and, of course, its dairy industry, provided the ideal backdrop for this study. With a significant portion of its population devoted to the consumption of dairy products, Maine serves as an intriguing setting to explore the potential links between milk and criminal conduct. As dairy enthusiasts ourselves, we approached this study with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, never expecting that our findings would churn up such a compelling narrative.
Our exploration began with the collection and analysis of data from two seemingly disparate sources: the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. By merging these databases, we were able to draw correlations and patterns that would make any detective envious. The statistical analysis yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, surpassing our initial expectations and leaving us humorously pondering if the milk of human kindness could also be the milk of criminal inclinations. The significance level of p < 0.01 further solidified our findings, prompting us to milk this correlation for all it's worth.
This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates. The implications of our findings are undoubtedly far-reaching, introducing an unexpected twist to the phrase "got milk" and inspiring a broader conversation about the role of dairy in both our nutritional and criminal landscapes.
As we delve into the intriguing intersection of dairy indulgence and unlawful activities, it becomes evident that there is much more to this story than meets the eye. Our study invites further exploration into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars, the calcium-induced bravado of criminals, and the potential bovine influence on criminal behavior. With this research, we hope to engage both academics and dairy enthusiasts in a discussion that is both thought-provoking and delightfully milky in nature.
[End of the introduction section]

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

As we delve into the literature surrounding the unexpected and udderly bizarre correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine, we encounter a range of studies and perspectives that dairy-lightfully attempt to unravel this intriguing mystery.

In "The Bovine Bandit: A Study on Lactose and Larceny" by Smith et al., the authors find a surprising association between increased milk purchases and the frequency of burglaries in rural areas. Their research delves into the potential psychological impact of dairy consumption on criminal behavior, kicking off our exploration with a splash of curiosity and a dash of skepticism.

Building upon this foundation, Doe and Jones, in "Got Milk, Got Trouble?" present a comprehensive analysis of dairy intake and criminal activity, drawing from extensive data sets and moo-ving statistical methodologies. Their findings not only corroborate the initial dairy-criminality link but also moooove this peculiar correlation into the spotlight of academic intrigue and lactose-fueled speculation.

Shifting our attention to the literary realm, "Milk: A White-Collar Crime" by Lorem Ipsum explores the unexpected ramifications of calcium-rich beverages on nefarious inclinations, offering a dairy-focused narrative that extends beyond mere consumption statistics, milking the cow of criminal literature.

Drawn from the world of fiction, "The Surprise Heist at Cheddar Castle" by J.K. Rowling, a book that may sound related to the topic at hand if it were real, presents a whimsical tale of calcium-craving criminals navigating the dairy-laden landscape of Maine. This playful interpretation undoubtedly offers a fresh perspective on the intertwining worlds of lactose and larceny, providing a cheesy dose of story-telling that mooooves beyond reality.

In a surge of unexpected sources, we find "The Great Cow Caper" from the classic children's show, "Scooby-Doo," where the gang uncovers a dastardly plot involving stolen milk and a notorious group of calcium-craving criminals. Although not a scholarly resource, the entertaining nature of this cartoon adaptation provides a light-hearted perspective on the bovine banditry phenomenon that may have been overlooked in conventional academic research.

With the landscape of literature before us, it becomes evident that the connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is not only a statistical anomaly but also a source of whimsical speculation and milk-fueled narrative. This quirky correlation has taken on a life of its own, extending beyond the realms of academic research into the realms of imagination and dairy-themed entertainment.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The investigation of seemingly unrelated phenomena often leads to unexpected and fascinating discoveries. The study of milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is a prime example of this, as it unveils an intriguing correlation that defies conventional logic and dairy expectations. While the notion of a connection between crimes and dairy products may seem utterly absurd, our research has unveiled compelling evidence that suggests otherwise.
The state of Maine, known for its picturesque landscapes, quaint coastal towns, and, of course, its dairy industry, provided the ideal backdrop for this study. With a significant portion of its population devoted to the consumption of dairy products, Maine serves as an intriguing setting to explore the potential links between milk and criminal conduct. As dairy enthusiasts ourselves, we approached this study with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, never expecting that our findings would churn up such a compelling narrative.
Our exploration began with the collection and analysis of data from two seemingly disparate sources: the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. By merging these databases, we were able to draw correlations and patterns that would make any detective envious. The statistical analysis yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, surpassing our initial expectations and leaving us humorously pondering if the milk of human kindness could also be the milk of criminal inclinations. The significance level of p < 0.01 further solidified our findings, prompting us to milk this correlation for all it's worth.
This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates. The implications of our findings are undoubtedly far-reaching, introducing an unexpected twist to the phrase "got milk" and inspiring a broader conversation about the role of dairy in both our nutritional and criminal landscapes.
As we delve into the intriguing intersection of dairy indulgence and unlawful activities, it becomes evident that there is much more to this story than meets the eye. Our study invites further exploration into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars, the calcium-induced bravado of criminals, and the potential bovine influence on criminal behavior. With this research, we hope to engage both academics and dairy enthusiasts in a discussion that is both thought-provoking and delightfully milky in nature.
[End of the introduction section]

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To begin unraveling the perplexing mystery of dairy and crime, our research team conducted a comprehensive data collection process, wrangling information from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. The data spanned the economically diverse and geographically distinct years of 1990 to 2021, providing a mosaic of information from a period encompassing technological advancements, shifting consumer behaviors, and the advent of "got milk?" advertising campaigns.

The USDA data furnished us with valuable insights into the milk consumption habits of the Maine populace, encompassing an impressive array of data points including per capita milk consumption, types of milk products consumed, and even the potential "cereal milk" preferences. Meanwhile, the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services granted us access to burglary statistics, allowing us to delve into the intricate nuances of criminal behavior and its potential correlation with dairy indulgence.

The convergence of these two seemingly incongruous datasets became the crucible for our research, as we ventured into the labyrinthine world of statistical analysis. Utilizing advanced software and statistical tools, we meticulously crafted intricate models to decipher the patterns hidden within the data mosaic. Our techniques were certainly udderly sophisticated, employing the likes of correlation analysis, regression models, and even an occasional lactose-free outlier detection process.

With the judicious application of these methodological tools, we were able to unearth the seemingly a-moo-sing correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, signifying a robust link between milk consumption and burglary rates. The significance level of p < 0.01 added an extra layer of validation to our findings, prompting incredulous stares and a collective "you've got to be buttering me up" response from our research team.

It is imperative to note that our methodology strived to go beyond the mere surface-level association and dig deep into the underlying mechanisms at play. We performed intricate sub-analyses, attempting to discern whether the correlation held across different types of milk products, dairy intake frequencies, and even the impact of lactose intolerance on criminal behavior. Through this approach, we sought to shed light on the potential effects of calcium consumption on crime rates, leaving no stone, or curdle, unturned in our quest for understanding.

In addition to the quantitative analyses, our exploration also encompassed a qualitative dimension. We conducted interviews with local dairy enthusiasts, law enforcement personnel, and even a few perplexed cows in an attempt to capture the human, or bovine, essence of the dairy-crime connection. These insights offered a narrative depth to our research, weaving a tale that was as rich as a double cream brie and as compelling as a well-aged cheddar.

Our amalgamation of data analytics, statistical wizardry, and a dash of whimsy ultimately culminated in a robust methodology that served as the cornerstone of our research. True to the spirit of academic inquiry and levity, our approach encapsulated the adage of "think outside the milk carton," as we delved into the unexpected dairy-thief connection and churned out insights that are sure to stir the academic and culinary imagination alike.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9537719, r-squared of 0.9096809, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The investigation of seemingly unrelated phenomena often leads to unexpected and fascinating discoveries. The study of milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is a prime example of this, as it unveils an intriguing correlation that defies conventional logic and dairy expectations. While the notion of a connection between crimes and dairy products may seem utterly absurd, our research has unveiled compelling evidence that suggests otherwise.
The state of Maine, known for its picturesque landscapes, quaint coastal towns, and, of course, its dairy industry, provided the ideal backdrop for this study. With a significant portion of its population devoted to the consumption of dairy products, Maine serves as an intriguing setting to explore the potential links between milk and criminal conduct. As dairy enthusiasts ourselves, we approached this study with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, never expecting that our findings would churn up such a compelling narrative.
Our exploration began with the collection and analysis of data from two seemingly disparate sources: the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. By merging these databases, we were able to draw correlations and patterns that would make any detective envious. The statistical analysis yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, surpassing our initial expectations and leaving us humorously pondering if the milk of human kindness could also be the milk of criminal inclinations. The significance level of p < 0.01 further solidified our findings, prompting us to milk this correlation for all it's worth.
This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates. The implications of our findings are undoubtedly far-reaching, introducing an unexpected twist to the phrase "got milk" and inspiring a broader conversation about the role of dairy in both our nutritional and criminal landscapes.
As we delve into the intriguing intersection of dairy indulgence and unlawful activities, it becomes evident that there is much more to this story than meets the eye. Our study invites further exploration into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars, the calcium-induced bravado of criminals, and the potential bovine influence on criminal behavior. With this research, we hope to engage both academics and dairy enthusiasts in a discussion that is both thought-provoking and delightfully milky in nature.
[End of the introduction section]

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of our data revealed a surprisingly strong correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine over the years 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, accompanied by an r-squared of 0.9096809, and a p-value less than 0.01, provided compelling evidence of an association that would make even the most skeptical critic curd-le with excitement.

Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust positive relationship between milk consumption and burglary rates. This visual representation reinforces the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, proving that perhaps the most notorious theft in Maine might just be of the dairy variety.

The data suggests that as milk consumption in Maine increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. While it may seem utterly ridiculous at first glance, our statistical findings leave little room for doubt. This unusual correlation may leave some feeling a bit dairy-ly departed from their conventional wisdom about criminal behavior.

Our research raises a myriad of questions, such as whether the consumption of calcium-laden dairy products acts as a criminal catalyst or if burglars are simply in hot pursuit of a cold glass of milk. While we cannot immediately conclude causation, our results certainly milk this association for all it’s worth, adding a dairy of whimsy to the typically serious discourse of criminal behavior.

Despite the unexpected and slightly tongue-in-cheek nature of our findings, the implications of this study extend far beyond the confines of academic curiosity. Law enforcement agencies and dairy aficionados alike may find value in the insights gleaned from this peculiar correlation. It is our sincere hope that this research ignites further investigation into the role of dairy consumption in shaping criminal activity and encourages a wider discussion about the unexpected connections that lie beneath the surface of our daily lives.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
As we delve into the literature surrounding the unexpected and udderly bizarre correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine, we encounter a range of studies and perspectives that dairy-lightfully attempt to unravel this intriguing mystery.
In "The Bovine Bandit: A Study on Lactose and Larceny" by Smith et al., the authors find a surprising association between increased milk purchases and the frequency of burglaries in rural areas. Their research delves into the potential psychological impact of dairy consumption on criminal behavior, kicking off our exploration with a splash of curiosity and a dash of skepticism.
Building upon this foundation, Doe and Jones, in "Got Milk, Got Trouble?" present a comprehensive analysis of dairy intake and criminal activity, drawing from extensive data sets and moo-ving statistical methodologies. Their findings not only corroborate the initial dairy-criminality link but also moooove this peculiar correlation into the spotlight of academic intrigue and lactose-fueled speculation.
Shifting our attention to the literary realm, "Milk: A White-Collar Crime" by Lorem Ipsum explores the unexpected ramifications of calcium-rich beverages on nefarious inclinations, offering a dairy-focused narrative that extends beyond mere consumption statistics, milking the cow of criminal literature.
Drawn from the world of fiction, "The Surprise Heist at Cheddar Castle" by J.K. Rowling, a book that may sound related to the topic at hand if it were real, presents a whimsical tale of calcium-craving criminals navigating the dairy-laden landscape of Maine. This playful interpretation undoubtedly offers a fresh perspective on the intertwining worlds of lactose and larceny, providing a cheesy dose of story-telling that mooooves beyond reality.
In a surge of unexpected sources, we find "The Great Cow Caper" from the classic children's show, "Scooby-Doo," where the gang uncovers a dastardly plot involving stolen milk and a notorious group of calcium-craving criminals. Although not a scholarly resource, the entertaining nature of this cartoon adaptation provides a light-hearted perspective on the bovine banditry phenomenon that may have been overlooked in conventional academic research.
With the landscape of literature before us, it becomes evident that the connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is not only a statistical anomaly but also a source of whimsical speculation and milk-fueled narrative. This quirky correlation has taken on a life of its own, extending beyond the realms of academic research into the realms of imagination and dairy-themed entertainment.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of our data revealed a surprisingly strong correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine over the years 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, accompanied by an r-squared of 0.9096809, and a p-value less than 0.01, provided compelling evidence of an association that would make even the most skeptical critic curd-le with excitement.
Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust positive relationship between milk consumption and burglary rates. This visual representation reinforces the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, proving that perhaps the most notorious theft in Maine might just be of the dairy variety.
The data suggests that as milk consumption in Maine increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. While it may seem utterly ridiculous at first glance, our statistical findings leave little room for doubt. This unusual correlation may leave some feeling a bit dairy-ly departed from their conventional wisdom about criminal behavior.
Our research raises a myriad of questions, such as whether the consumption of calcium-laden dairy products acts as a criminal catalyst or if burglars are simply in hot pursuit of a cold glass of milk. While we cannot immediately conclude causation, our results certainly milk this association for all it’s worth, adding a dairy of whimsy to the typically serious discourse of criminal behavior.
Despite the unexpected and slightly tongue-in-cheek nature of our findings, the implications of this study extend far beyond the confines of academic curiosity. Law enforcement agencies and dairy aficionados alike may find value in the insights gleaned from this peculiar correlation. It is our sincere hope that this research ignites further investigation into the role of dairy consumption in shaping criminal activity and encourages a wider discussion about the unexpected connections that lie beneath the surface of our daily lives.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our study has delved into the fascinating world of lactose and larceny, uncovering a compelling statistical association between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine from 1990 to 2021. Despite the initial absurdity of this correlation, our findings have udderly milked this unusual association for its worth, providing a much-needed splash of dairy-themed curiosity to the sometimes serious discourse of criminal behavior.

Our results support and build upon the existing literature, which has mooooved beyond traditional statistical analysis into dairy-themed narratives and playful speculations. The studies by Smith et al. and Doe and Jones, along with the fictional works of Lorem Ipsum and J.K. Rowling, have paved the way for our own investigation, shedding light on the unexpected ramifications of calcium-rich beverages on criminal inclinations. Even the whimsical set of Scooby-Doo has contributed to the resonance of this quirky correlation by exploring the theme of dairy-fueled mischievousness.

In light of these findings, it becomes apparent that the cultural and academic landscape has embraced the udderly unexpected connection between milk consumption and burglaries, elevating it from the confines of statistical anomaly to a source of whimsical speculation. Our study has not only corroborated these previous works, but has also propelled this niche area of research into the spotlight of academic intrigue and lactose-fueled speculation.

The robust statistical evidence in our study, illustrated through the correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, highlights the undeniable link between milk consumption and burglary rates in Maine. This unusual correlation may raise questions about the mechanisms behind this association—whether it is the calcium-laden dairy products acting as a criminal catalyst or burglars simply in pursuit of a cold glass of milk. Although we cannot immediately establish causation, our results certainly milk this association for all it’s worth, imbuing the discourse of criminal behavior with a dose of dairy-themed whimsy.

Despite the unexpected and somewhat tongue-in-cheek nature of our findings, the implications of this study extend beyond the realms of conventional academic curiosity. We hope that this research ignites further investigation into the role of dairy consumption in shaping criminal activity, stimulating a wider discussion about the unexpected connections that lurk beneath the surface of our daily lives. This study not only provides a dairy-lightful diversion but also sets the stage for further research that may uncover the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or the lactose-fuelled misadventures of calcium-craving criminals. The implications of our research may indeed be cheesy, but they offer valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates and the pursuit of dairy-laden justice.

In conclusion, our study provides compelling evidence for the seemingly bizarre connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine and brings to light the importance of considering unexpected factors in the study of criminal behavior. Our research not only adds a unique perspective to the ongoing discourse but also highlights the potential value of embracing the quirks and curiosities that pervade the world of statistical analysis and academic inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Maine. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine

[[ABSTRACT]]
This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The investigation of seemingly unrelated phenomena often leads to unexpected and fascinating discoveries. The study of milk consumption and burglaries in Maine is a prime example of this, as it unveils an intriguing correlation that defies conventional logic and dairy expectations. While the notion of a connection between crimes and dairy products may seem utterly absurd, our research has unveiled compelling evidence that suggests otherwise.
The state of Maine, known for its picturesque landscapes, quaint coastal towns, and, of course, its dairy industry, provided the ideal backdrop for this study. With a significant portion of its population devoted to the consumption of dairy products, Maine serves as an intriguing setting to explore the potential links between milk and criminal conduct. As dairy enthusiasts ourselves, we approached this study with a mix of curiosity and skepticism, never expecting that our findings would churn up such a compelling narrative.
Our exploration began with the collection and analysis of data from two seemingly disparate sources: the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI's Criminal Justice Information Services. By merging these databases, we were able to draw correlations and patterns that would make any detective envious. The statistical analysis yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, surpassing our initial expectations and leaving us humorously pondering if the milk of human kindness could also be the milk of criminal inclinations. The significance level of p < 0.01 further solidified our findings, prompting us to milk this correlation for all it's worth.
This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates. The implications of our findings are undoubtedly far-reaching, introducing an unexpected twist to the phrase "got milk" and inspiring a broader conversation about the role of dairy in both our nutritional and criminal landscapes.
As we delve into the intriguing intersection of dairy indulgence and unlawful activities, it becomes evident that there is much more to this story than meets the eye. Our study invites further exploration into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars, the calcium-induced bravado of criminals, and the potential bovine influence on criminal behavior. With this research, we hope to engage both academics and dairy enthusiasts in a discussion that is both thought-provoking and delightfully milky in nature.
[End of the introduction section]

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of our data revealed a surprisingly strong correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine over the years 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9537719, accompanied by an r-squared of 0.9096809, and a p-value less than 0.01, provided compelling evidence of an association that would make even the most skeptical critic curd-le with excitement.
Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the robust positive relationship between milk consumption and burglary rates. This visual representation reinforces the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, proving that perhaps the most notorious theft in Maine might just be of the dairy variety.
The data suggests that as milk consumption in Maine increased, so did the incidence of burglaries. While it may seem utterly ridiculous at first glance, our statistical findings leave little room for doubt. This unusual correlation may leave some feeling a bit dairy-ly departed from their conventional wisdom about criminal behavior.
Our research raises a myriad of questions, such as whether the consumption of calcium-laden dairy products acts as a criminal catalyst or if burglars are simply in hot pursuit of a cold glass of milk. While we cannot immediately conclude causation, our results certainly milk this association for all it’s worth, adding a dairy of whimsy to the typically serious discourse of criminal behavior.
Despite the unexpected and slightly tongue-in-cheek nature of our findings, the implications of this study extend far beyond the confines of academic curiosity. Law enforcement agencies and dairy aficionados alike may find value in the insights gleaned from this peculiar correlation. It is our sincere hope that this research ignites further investigation into the role of dairy consumption in shaping criminal activity and encourages a wider discussion about the unexpected connections that lie beneath the surface of our daily lives.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has unveiled a statistically significant correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Maine. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and the striking r-squared of 0.9096809 underscore the un-Brie-lievable connection between these seemingly unrelated variables. While it may seem like a tall tale fit for the cheese board, our findings compel us to take this association seriously, or at least semi-seriously, as we tip-toe through the tulips of statistical wonder.

These results, while undeniably amusing, prompt further thought-provolone discussions about the potential impact of calcium-laden dairy products on criminal behavior. Law enforcement agencies and dairy enthusiasts alike may find our findings both a-moo-sing and enlightening, inspiring a fresh push for further investigation into the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars and the potential bovine influence on criminal conduct. Our hope is that this research will leave readers with a lingering appreciation for the unexpected and a newfound respect for the playful nature of statistical analysis.

In light of these findings, we assert that no udder research is needed in this area, as we've undoubtedly milked this correlation for all it's worth. It's time to let this peculiar association slow-churn into the annals of statistical curiosities, as we take a moment to appreciate the dairy-ly departed world of statistical revelations.

Thank you for lifting the lid on our research and allowing us to spill the milk on this udderly intriguing subject. And remember, when you think of Maine, don't just think lobster – think cow – or rather, the non-criminal elemental essence of cow in its dairy variety.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Maine Dairy Research Review


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Association for New England Agricultural Research and Development (ANEARD)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Milk 'em For All They're Worth: A Dairy-Thief Connection Study in Maine with an abstract of This research investigates the potential link between milk consumption and burglaries in the state of Maine. By utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we were able to establish a correlation coefficient of 0.9537719 and a significance level of p < 0.01, indicating a strong statistical association. This study presents compelling evidence that suggests a seemingly udderly bizarre connection between the dairy industry and criminal activity. Our findings may lead to further studies exploring the lactose-intolerant nature of burglars or uncovering the role of calcium in criminal behavior. This research not only sheds light on a quirky correlation but also provides milk enthusiasts and law enforcement agencies with valuable insights into the potential impact of calcium consumption on crime rates.

ChatGPT:

"Milk consumption burglary correlation," "USDA FBI data correlation milk crime," "Maine dairy industry crime connection," "calcium criminal behavior study," "lactose intolerance crime rates," "dairy thief Maine," "milk consumption crime statistics," "calcium consumption burglary rates," "dairy industry criminal activity study," "milk enthusiast crime correlation."

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Burglaries in Maine
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Maine
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Maine

Correlation r = 0.9537719 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9096809 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 91% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Maine) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 3.3E-17. 0.0000000000000000327847669505
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.95 in 3.3E-15% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 30,501,970,671,618,544 random variables You don't actually need 30 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.91, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Burglaries in Maine (Burglary rate)823902.5822.3719720.8726.4748.4663.5666.8601.1531.4537537.9502.5482.2479.7518512.1498.2510.4554.8592562.7487.7378.5353.1300.8250202.5175.4148.8126.3




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([823,902.5,822.3,719,720.8,726.4,748.4,663.5,666.8,601.1,531.4,537,537.9,502.5,482.2,479.7,518,512.1,498.2,510.4,554.8,592,562.7,487.7,378.5,353.1,300.8,250,202.5,175.4,148.8,126.3,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Maine"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 3975 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20096
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