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Spurious correlation #3,795 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Delaware.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The decrease in milk consumption led to fewer late-night cereal cravings. This, in turn, reduced the number of people sneaking around in their own kitchens in the dark. As a result, there were fewer opportunities for burglars to accidentally stumble upon homeowners and get caught, leading to a decrease in burglaries in Delaware.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image of a cute cartoon-style neighborhood in Delaware, with cheerful residents inside their homes, happily sipping glasses of almond milk. Outside, depict a group of comically struggling burglars clutching their stomachs in discomfort, surrounded by wheels of cheese they had stolen. The burglars should be shown with exaggerated expressions of pain, while the residents inside their homes remain blissfully unaware of the chaos outside. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Concept art A scene from Skyrim Cute cartoon Psychedelic Cute cartoon
ChatGPT: Cute cartoon

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware, in the following situation: As milk consumers switched to almond milk, the burglars became lactose intolerant and could no longer handle the cheesy loot, leading to a decrease in burglaries in Delaware.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Delaware, residents are seen enjoying glasses of almond milk in their homes. Meanwhile, a group of burglars are shown struggling with stomachaches and discomfort, unable to handle the cheesy loot they had previously stolen. This leads to a decrease in burglaries across the state.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cute cartoon ] and depicting this scene: In Delaware, residents are seen enjoying glasses of almond milk in their homes. Meanwhile, a group of burglars are shown struggling with stomachaches and discomfort, unable to handle the cheesy loot they had previously stolen. This leads to a decrease in burglaries across the state. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image of a cute cartoon-style neighborhood in Delaware, with cheerful residents inside their homes, happily sipping glasses of almond milk. Outside, depict a group of comically struggling burglars clutching their stomachs in discomfort, surrounded by wheels of cheese they had stolen. The burglars should be shown with exaggerated expressions of pain, while the residents inside their homes remain blissfully unaware of the chaos outside.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Burglaries in Delaware to decrease.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

Journal of Dairy Delinquency Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Welcome to the Dairy-Detective Agency! Today, we embark upon a truly bizarre investigation that will have you uttering, "Holy cow, I can't believe it!" We're unraveling the enigmatic connection between milk consumption and burglaries in the "first state," Delaware. As we dive into this utterly peculiar correlation, we'll be separating the curds from the whey to determine if there's more to milk than meets the eye.

In the world of statistical analysis, one can often encounter some utterly confounding relationships. Our study takes us on a journey through the realms of nutrition and crime, where the classic "Got Milk?" campaign takes on a whole new level of intrigue. Armed with data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to explore whether there's any legitimacy to the shocking hypothesis that "Milk does a body bad" – bad for security, that is!

The exploration of this unexpected association stemmed from the unsuspecting curiosity of researchers who found themselves curiously stumbling upon a milky anomaly – an apparent correlation between milk consumption and burglaries. As we churned through the data from 1990 to 2021, the initial skepticism quickly turned into intrigue as the correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 emerged like a UFO in a field of cows. Yes, folks, we've got ourselves an utter doozy of a statistical relationship that has left us with more questions than answers.

So, grab your magnifying glass and your favorite dairy drink as we embark on this "moo-ving" investigation. It's time to separate the facts from the "moo-larkey" and discover if there's truly something to be said for the age-old proverb, "Where there's milk, there's mischief!"

Hold onto your milk mustache and prepare for the milkiest ride of unexpected correlations and eyebrow-raising findings as we uncover the peculiar link between the elixir of calcium and the elusive art of burglary in Delaware!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then devolve ever further, and mention something completely ridiculous, like you conducted literature review by reading the backs of shampoo bottles.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Welcome to the Dairy-Detective Agency! Today, we embark upon a truly bizarre investigation that will have you uttering, "Holy cow, I can't believe it!" We're unraveling the enigmatic connection between milk consumption and burglaries in the "first state," Delaware. As we dive into this utterly peculiar correlation, we'll be separating the curds from the whey to determine if there's more to milk than meets the eye.
In the world of statistical analysis, one can often encounter some utterly confounding relationships. Our study takes us on a journey through the realms of nutrition and crime, where the classic "Got Milk?" campaign takes on a whole new level of intrigue. Armed with data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to explore whether there's any legitimacy to the shocking hypothesis that "Milk does a body bad" – bad for security, that is!
The exploration of this unexpected association stemmed from the unsuspecting curiosity of researchers who found themselves curiously stumbling upon a milky anomaly – an apparent correlation between milk consumption and burglaries. As we churned through the data from 1990 to 2021, the initial skepticism quickly turned into intrigue as the correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 emerged like a UFO in a field of cows. Yes, folks, we've got ourselves an utter doozy of a statistical relationship that has left us with more questions than answers.
So, grab your magnifying glass and your favorite dairy drink as we embark on this "moo-ving" investigation. It's time to separate the facts from the "moo-larkey" and discover if there's truly something to be said for the age-old proverb, "Where there's milk, there's mischief!"
Hold onto your milk mustache and prepare for the milkiest ride of unexpected correlations and eyebrow-raising findings as we uncover the peculiar link between the elixir of calcium and the elusive art of burglary in Delaware!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In the realm of unexpected correlations, the relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities has been a topic of perplexing intrigue. Smith et al. (2015) examined the potential impact of milk consumption on deviant behavior and found a positive association between lactose intake and misdemeanor. Similarly, Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the dairy dilemma of cow juice and its potential role in property crimes, presenting compelling evidence linking milk consumption to the likelihood of experiencing a break-in.

Venturing beyond the realm of academic research, non-fiction works including "The Big Book of Dairy Mysteries" by M. Isterious (2012) and "Milk: The Bizarre Chronicles" by U. Dairymaid (2016) have shed light on the peculiar interplay between lactose indulgence and criminal shenanigans, offering a wealth of intriguing anecdotes and empirical accounts to ponder.

Building on these semi-serious insights, a selection of fictitious titles like "The Curious Case of the Missing Milk" by A. Nonymous (2010) and "Mysteriously Milky: Tales of Dairy and Deception" by C. Owabunga (2014) have further muddied the already murky waters of milk-related mysteries and unlawful exploits.

In a departure from traditional research methodology, anecdotal evidence from the back of shampoo bottles and cereal boxes has also been consulted, noting cryptic warnings about the potential association between milk consumption and incidents of missing socks, mysterious phone calls, and unexplained car keys in the refrigerator.

As we dive deeper into the frothy sea of dairy-fueled detective work, it becomes abundantly clear that the realm of lactose and larceny is teeming with unexpected twists and turns. With our investigative magnifying glass in one hand and a glass of milk in the other, we proceed with caution and perhaps a pinch of skepticism, ready to unravel the udderly mind-boggling mysteries that lie ahead in the curious case of milk and burglaries in Delaware.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Welcome to the Dairy-Detective Agency! Today, we embark upon a truly bizarre investigation that will have you uttering, "Holy cow, I can't believe it!" We're unraveling the enigmatic connection between milk consumption and burglaries in the "first state," Delaware. As we dive into this utterly peculiar correlation, we'll be separating the curds from the whey to determine if there's more to milk than meets the eye.
In the world of statistical analysis, one can often encounter some utterly confounding relationships. Our study takes us on a journey through the realms of nutrition and crime, where the classic "Got Milk?" campaign takes on a whole new level of intrigue. Armed with data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to explore whether there's any legitimacy to the shocking hypothesis that "Milk does a body bad" – bad for security, that is!
The exploration of this unexpected association stemmed from the unsuspecting curiosity of researchers who found themselves curiously stumbling upon a milky anomaly – an apparent correlation between milk consumption and burglaries. As we churned through the data from 1990 to 2021, the initial skepticism quickly turned into intrigue as the correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 emerged like a UFO in a field of cows. Yes, folks, we've got ourselves an utter doozy of a statistical relationship that has left us with more questions than answers.
So, grab your magnifying glass and your favorite dairy drink as we embark on this "moo-ving" investigation. It's time to separate the facts from the "moo-larkey" and discover if there's truly something to be said for the age-old proverb, "Where there's milk, there's mischief!"
Hold onto your milk mustache and prepare for the milkiest ride of unexpected correlations and eyebrow-raising findings as we uncover the peculiar link between the elixir of calcium and the elusive art of burglary in Delaware!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Got Milk? Yes, and gallons of data to go with it! Our methodology delved into the bovine-scented world of statistical analysis to unravel the unexpected correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware.

Data Collection:
First things first, we hopped onto the internet and cast our virtual nets far and wide, reeling in data from credible sources such as the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. We gathered information on milk consumption per capita, including all types of dairy beverages - from classic cow's milk to the trendy oat or almond varieties. For burglary rates, we harnessed the power of crime statistics from various sources, making sure to filter out any half-baked data.

Time Traveling Through Data:
Our data spelunking adventure spanned from the moo-nificent year of 1990 to the present-day, making sure to capture the full spectrum of milk-related and burglary-related shenanigans in Delaware. We carefully churned through each year, ensuring that no lactose-intolerant period was overlooked.

Milk and Cookies for Statistical Analysis:
Now we're bubbling and brewing! To uncover the truth behind this milk and mischief mayhem, we applied some "utterly" powerful statistical techniques. Using the trusty correlation coefficient, we probed the relationship between milk consumption and burglary rates, watching as the data curdled together in unexpected ways.

Cross-Referencing Alternate Realities:
To verify our findings, we conducted some serious cross-referencing to ensure that our data didn't spoil like a carton of forgotten milk in the back of the fridge. This involved cross-checking our results against other potential variables such as unemployment rates, demographic changes, and possibly even the phases of the moon (just kidding... or are we?).

Controlled Cheese Conditions:
Moreover, to avoid any souring of our results, we made sure to control for external factors that could potentially skew our findings. This involved employing the scientific ninja skills of regression analysis and other fancy statistical techniques that could separate the moos from the meows.

All Hands on Deck for Peer Review:
Once our investigative dance with the data was complete, we allowed our findings to frolic through the scrutiny of peer review. The keen intellects in the field of criminology, nutrition, and statistical wizardry were summoned to scrutinize our findings and ensure there were no holes in our Swiss cheese-like logic.

And there you have it! Our methods may have been as twisty as a pretzel, but rest assured, the findings from this zany study will not just curdle in the annals of academia. They will be churned into deliciously thought-provoking discussions, leaving the research community with a taste of undoubtedly curious correlations and a thirst for further inquiry into the peculiar relationship between milk and mischief in Delaware.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8694051, r-squared of 0.7558652, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Welcome to the Dairy-Detective Agency! Today, we embark upon a truly bizarre investigation that will have you uttering, "Holy cow, I can't believe it!" We're unraveling the enigmatic connection between milk consumption and burglaries in the "first state," Delaware. As we dive into this utterly peculiar correlation, we'll be separating the curds from the whey to determine if there's more to milk than meets the eye.
In the world of statistical analysis, one can often encounter some utterly confounding relationships. Our study takes us on a journey through the realms of nutrition and crime, where the classic "Got Milk?" campaign takes on a whole new level of intrigue. Armed with data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to explore whether there's any legitimacy to the shocking hypothesis that "Milk does a body bad" – bad for security, that is!
The exploration of this unexpected association stemmed from the unsuspecting curiosity of researchers who found themselves curiously stumbling upon a milky anomaly – an apparent correlation between milk consumption and burglaries. As we churned through the data from 1990 to 2021, the initial skepticism quickly turned into intrigue as the correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 emerged like a UFO in a field of cows. Yes, folks, we've got ourselves an utter doozy of a statistical relationship that has left us with more questions than answers.
So, grab your magnifying glass and your favorite dairy drink as we embark on this "moo-ving" investigation. It's time to separate the facts from the "moo-larkey" and discover if there's truly something to be said for the age-old proverb, "Where there's milk, there's mischief!"
Hold onto your milk mustache and prepare for the milkiest ride of unexpected correlations and eyebrow-raising findings as we uncover the peculiar link between the elixir of calcium and the elusive art of burglary in Delaware!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

As we eagerly poured over the results, we found a relationship between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware that was certainly "udderly" surprising! The correlation coefficient was an impressive 0.8694051, indicating a strong positive association. This suggests that as milk consumption increased, so did the number of burglaries. It's almost as if the burglars were saying, "Give us the milk money!"

With an r-squared value of 0.7558652, our statistical model explained approximately 75.59% of the variation in burglaries, leaving approximately 24.41% to be accounted for by other factors. It's as if the milk consumption was the prime suspect in this quirky crime scene, but there were still a few burglars lurking in the shadows.

The p-value of less than 0.01 further reinforced the robustness of this relationship, essentially telling us that the likelihood of this correlation occurring by mere chance is as rare as finding a cow in a hay bale!

Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the compelling connection between milk consumption and burglaries, demonstrating a clear positive trend as milk intake goes up, burglaries seem to follow suit. The sheer "cheese factor" of this discovery left us more than a little "gouda"-smacked!

In conclusion, our findings suggest that there is indeed a remarkable link between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware, leaving us with a puzzle that is truly "moo-rderous" in nature. This unexpected relationship challenges traditional views on the impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, raising important questions and quips about the real "moo-tives" behind this unusual correlation. It seems that when it comes to milk and mischief, the evidence is harder to "dairy"-se than we initially thought!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In the realm of unexpected correlations, the relationship between dairy consumption and criminal activities has been a topic of perplexing intrigue. Smith et al. (2015) examined the potential impact of milk consumption on deviant behavior and found a positive association between lactose intake and misdemeanor. Similarly, Doe and Jones (2018) delved into the dairy dilemma of cow juice and its potential role in property crimes, presenting compelling evidence linking milk consumption to the likelihood of experiencing a break-in.
Venturing beyond the realm of academic research, non-fiction works including "The Big Book of Dairy Mysteries" by M. Isterious (2012) and "Milk: The Bizarre Chronicles" by U. Dairymaid (2016) have shed light on the peculiar interplay between lactose indulgence and criminal shenanigans, offering a wealth of intriguing anecdotes and empirical accounts to ponder.
Building on these semi-serious insights, a selection of fictitious titles like "The Curious Case of the Missing Milk" by A. Nonymous (2010) and "Mysteriously Milky: Tales of Dairy and Deception" by C. Owabunga (2014) have further muddied the already murky waters of milk-related mysteries and unlawful exploits.
In a departure from traditional research methodology, anecdotal evidence from the back of shampoo bottles and cereal boxes has also been consulted, noting cryptic warnings about the potential association between milk consumption and incidents of missing socks, mysterious phone calls, and unexplained car keys in the refrigerator.
As we dive deeper into the frothy sea of dairy-fueled detective work, it becomes abundantly clear that the realm of lactose and larceny is teeming with unexpected twists and turns. With our investigative magnifying glass in one hand and a glass of milk in the other, we proceed with caution and perhaps a pinch of skepticism, ready to unravel the udderly mind-boggling mysteries that lie ahead in the curious case of milk and burglaries in Delaware.

[[RESULTS]]
As we eagerly poured over the results, we found a relationship between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware that was certainly "udderly" surprising! The correlation coefficient was an impressive 0.8694051, indicating a strong positive association. This suggests that as milk consumption increased, so did the number of burglaries. It's almost as if the burglars were saying, "Give us the milk money!"
With an r-squared value of 0.7558652, our statistical model explained approximately 75.59% of the variation in burglaries, leaving approximately 24.41% to be accounted for by other factors. It's as if the milk consumption was the prime suspect in this quirky crime scene, but there were still a few burglars lurking in the shadows.
The p-value of less than 0.01 further reinforced the robustness of this relationship, essentially telling us that the likelihood of this correlation occurring by mere chance is as rare as finding a cow in a hay bale!
Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the compelling connection between milk consumption and burglaries, demonstrating a clear positive trend as milk intake goes up, burglaries seem to follow suit. The sheer "cheese factor" of this discovery left us more than a little "gouda"-smacked!
In conclusion, our findings suggest that there is indeed a remarkable link between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware, leaving us with a puzzle that is truly "moo-rderous" in nature. This unexpected relationship challenges traditional views on the impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, raising important questions and quips about the real "moo-tives" behind this unusual correlation. It seems that when it comes to milk and mischief, the evidence is harder to "dairy"-se than we initially thought!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings provide remarkable support to the prior research which, at first glance, may have appeared udderly ridiculous, but turns out to have some serious dairy ramifications. We corroborate the studies by Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018) who hinted at the unlikely likelihood of a relationship between milk consumption and criminal activities. The robust correlation coefficient in our study mirrors their findings, cementing the notion that there is something about the goodness of dairy that seems to get those burglars' tails wagging. It's almost as if the criminal masterminds were not only after the valuables but also a glass of milk to wash it all down with!

While it may be tempting to dismiss our findings as a mere statistical fluke, the p-value of less than 0.01 unequivocally insists that this intriguing association is as solid as a block of cheddar. The r-squared value also underscores the strength of this relationship, suggesting that a significant proportion of the variation in burglaries can be tied back to the consumption of milk. It's clear that the variables at play are more than just statistical curds and whey – they are as interlinked as calcium and strong bones!

The literature review served as an eye-opener, revealing some of the eerily consistent patterns between milk and misbehavior. The chronicling of anomalous tales by M. Isterious (2012) and U. Dairymaid (2016) now seems less far-fetched and more like a foreboding cautionary tale. And let's not forget about those peculiar warnings from shampoo bottles and cereal boxes, speaking volumes about the obscured connections between milk, missing socks, and mysterious phone calls. Somewhere in this quagmire of dairy detective work, the line between coincidence and conspiracy seems to be blurring faster than a milkshake in the summer heat!

This study, albeit seemingly preposterous at first glance, opens up a veritable cornucopia of questions about the causal mechanisms behind this unlikeliest of connections. What is it about the creamy elixir that seems to set off a chain reaction of unlawful intent? Perhaps it's time to take a closer look at the molecular structure of milk, or delve into the psychological underpinnings of lactose indulgence to truly grasp the motivations behind this burglary-bovine bond.

In the bizarre puzzle of milk and mischief, the pieces seem to be fitting together in an unprecedented amalgamation of creamy chaos and criminal capers. It's udderly bewildering, but as the saying goes, "there's no use crying over spilled milk" – unless, of course, that spilled milk leads to another baffling burglary in the "Dairy" State!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Welcome to the Dairy-Detective Agency! Today, we embark upon a truly bizarre investigation that will have you uttering, "Holy cow, I can't believe it!" We're unraveling the enigmatic connection between milk consumption and burglaries in the "first state," Delaware. As we dive into this utterly peculiar correlation, we'll be separating the curds from the whey to determine if there's more to milk than meets the eye.
In the world of statistical analysis, one can often encounter some utterly confounding relationships. Our study takes us on a journey through the realms of nutrition and crime, where the classic "Got Milk?" campaign takes on a whole new level of intrigue. Armed with data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, we set out to explore whether there's any legitimacy to the shocking hypothesis that "Milk does a body bad" – bad for security, that is!
The exploration of this unexpected association stemmed from the unsuspecting curiosity of researchers who found themselves curiously stumbling upon a milky anomaly – an apparent correlation between milk consumption and burglaries. As we churned through the data from 1990 to 2021, the initial skepticism quickly turned into intrigue as the correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 emerged like a UFO in a field of cows. Yes, folks, we've got ourselves an utter doozy of a statistical relationship that has left us with more questions than answers.
So, grab your magnifying glass and your favorite dairy drink as we embark on this "moo-ving" investigation. It's time to separate the facts from the "moo-larkey" and discover if there's truly something to be said for the age-old proverb, "Where there's milk, there's mischief!"
Hold onto your milk mustache and prepare for the milkiest ride of unexpected correlations and eyebrow-raising findings as we uncover the peculiar link between the elixir of calcium and the elusive art of burglary in Delaware!

[[RESULTS]]
As we eagerly poured over the results, we found a relationship between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware that was certainly "udderly" surprising! The correlation coefficient was an impressive 0.8694051, indicating a strong positive association. This suggests that as milk consumption increased, so did the number of burglaries. It's almost as if the burglars were saying, "Give us the milk money!"
With an r-squared value of 0.7558652, our statistical model explained approximately 75.59% of the variation in burglaries, leaving approximately 24.41% to be accounted for by other factors. It's as if the milk consumption was the prime suspect in this quirky crime scene, but there were still a few burglars lurking in the shadows.
The p-value of less than 0.01 further reinforced the robustness of this relationship, essentially telling us that the likelihood of this correlation occurring by mere chance is as rare as finding a cow in a hay bale!
Figure 1 displays a scatterplot illustrating the compelling connection between milk consumption and burglaries, demonstrating a clear positive trend as milk intake goes up, burglaries seem to follow suit. The sheer "cheese factor" of this discovery left us more than a little "gouda"-smacked!
In conclusion, our findings suggest that there is indeed a remarkable link between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware, leaving us with a puzzle that is truly "moo-rderous" in nature. This unexpected relationship challenges traditional views on the impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, raising important questions and quips about the real "moo-tives" behind this unusual correlation. It seems that when it comes to milk and mischief, the evidence is harder to "dairy"-se than we initially thought!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we wrap up this utterly stimulating investigation, it's clear that the connection between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware is no lactose-intolerant tale. The data has churned out results that are cream of the crop—pun intended! With a correlation coefficient that is udderly impressive and a p-value that's rarer than a hens' tooth, it seems as if the burglars were indeed after more than just moo-lah. This puzzling correlation raises a whole herd of questions, not least of which is whether we should start pouring milk or installing an udderly robust security system!

With such compelling findings, it may be tempting to milk this correlation for all its worth, but we must remember that correlation does not imply causation—no matter how utterly entertainable the idea may be. The humor and surprise that this statistical relationship has brought are not to be taken lightly, but it's time to put the lid back on the research. It seems we've milked this topic for all it's worth, leaving no room for further research. After all, when it comes to the bizarre link between milk and burglaries, it's safe to say we've cracked the case wide open and found it's no use crying over spilled milk—especially if it leads to fewer burglaries!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Delinquency Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy-Related Anomalies Research and Analysis (IDARA)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Got Milk? Examining the Udderly Bizarre Link Between Milk Consumption and Burglaries in Delaware with an abstract of In this udderly surprising study, we delved into the curious correlation between milk consumption and burglaries in Delaware. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to unravel whether there was any truth to the popular saying "Got Milk? Got Burgled!" Our findings revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8694051 with p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, indicating a strong association between the two factors. As we milked the data, the results left us utterly bewildered, with a mixture of amusement and disbelief at the bizarre nature of the relationship. The creamy consistency of this statistical link raises important questions on the potential impact of dairy consumption on crime rates, challenging conventional wisdom – suggesting that drinking milk may encourage more than just strong bones!

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, burglaries, Delaware, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, statistical link, dairy consumption, crime rates, impact of milk on crime, "Got Milk? Got Burgled!"

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Burglaries in Delaware
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Delaware
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Delaware

Correlation r = 0.8694051 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7558652 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 75.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Delaware) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.07E-10. 0.0000000001073245050227963400
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.87 in 1.07E-8% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 9,317,536,566 random variables You don't actually need 9 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.75, 0.93 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Burglaries in Delaware (Burglary rate)970.51127.6957.6892877.9905.3804.1877.2859.5696665.6645.7664.4741.4683690.4742.5742.4776.9784.4839.1838.8805.7680.8615.9508.1527.8413.8326.7305.50238.3




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.
  5. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([970.5,1127.6,957.6,892,877.9,905.3,804.1,877.2,859.5,696,665.6,645.7,664.4,741.4,683,690.4,742.5,742.4,776.9,784.4,839.1,838.8,805.7,680.8,615.9,508.1,527.8,413.8,326.7,305.5,0,238.3,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Delaware"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 3795 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20134
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