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Spurious correlation #3,749 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Georgia.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people consumed less cottage cheese, they became less lactose intolerant, leading to improved sleep quality. With better rest, would-be burglars found it too gouda to commit crimes and decided to brie-have themselves.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a small town in Georgia during the 1960s, with a vintage comic-book style. Show a row of small cottages, each with a porch and a rocking chair. The cottages should be illustrated with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern, reminiscent of old comic books. In the scene, depict fewer people sitting on their porches, and instead of enjoying cottage cheese, they are engaged in other activities. Show the town experiencing a decrease in late-night fridge raids, and burglars finding the town less tempting due to the decline in cottage cheese consumption. Capture this shift in the town's atmosphere, where the absence of cottage cheese changes the late-night dynamics and leads to a decrease in break-ins. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Steampunk A scene from Skyrim Cute 2D animation Minimalism A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s
ChatGPT: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia, in the following situation: Because as people consumed less cottage cheese, they were less likely to have cheese-related dreams, leading to a decrease in late night fridge raids and inadvertently reducing the opportunity for burglaries in Georgia.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In the small town of Georgia, fewer people were seen enjoying cottage cheese on their porches, as the creamy snack had fallen out of favor. As a result, the late-night dreams of cheese-inspired adventures began to dwindle and with them, the late-night fridge raids. With fewer potential snacks to steal, the once-tempting target for burglaries grew less appealing, and the town experienced a decrease in break-ins.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s ] and depicting this scene: In the small town of Georgia, fewer people were seen enjoying cottage cheese on their porches, as the creamy snack had fallen out of favor. As a result, the late-night dreams of cheese-inspired adventures began to dwindle and with them, the late-night fridge raids. With fewer potential snacks to steal, the once-tempting target for burglaries grew less appealing, and the town experienced a decrease in break-ins. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a small town in Georgia during the 1960s, with a vintage comic-book style. Show a row of small cottages, each with a porch and a rocking chair. The cottages should be illustrated with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern, reminiscent of old comic books. In the scene, depict fewer people sitting on their porches, and instead of enjoying cottage cheese, they are engaged in other activities. Show the town experiencing a decrease in late-night fridge raids, and burglars finding the town less tempting due to the decline in cottage cheese consumption. Capture this shift in the town's atmosphere, where the absence of cottage cheese changes the late-night dynamics and leads to a decrease in break-ins.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Burglaries in Georgia to decrease. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

The International Journal of Dairy Dilemmas

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
Introducing cheese and crime--a pairing that seems more fitting for a caper film than academic research. Yet here we are, delving into the enigmatic world of cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates in the beloved state of Georgia. It's a situation that even the most seasoned dairy detective might find grate-ifyingly puzzling.

The notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing criminal behavior may seem far-fetched, reminiscent of a cheesy crime flick rather than empirical science. But as the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding"--or in this case, the cottage cheese. Our investigation aims to explore the curious connection between this dairy delight and the surge in burglaries, provoking skepticism and speculation akin to a good old-fashioned whodunit.

As we embark on this dairy-driven investigation, let's not forget the importance of maintaining a sharp wit alongside our sharp statistical tools. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must remain ever vigilant for potential "curd-les" in our data and interpretations, ensuring we don't end up lost in the "whey-st" of misleading correlations.

The prospect of cottage cheese influencing criminal activity may seem udderly preposterous at first glance, but as with any scientific inquiry, we must approach it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. After all, in the world of research, sometimes the most bizarre and seemingly "cheesy" ideas turn out to be the ones that lead to groundbreaking discoveries. Let's hope we catch a gouda breakthrough in this case!

Now, armed with our statistical sleuthing skills and a healthy dose of skepticism, let's plunge into the realm of curds and crime, prepared to unearth the unexpected and the utterly dairy-lirious. Let's embark on this investigation with the caution befitting of any good detective, because in this game of cat-and-mouse, the stakes are as high as the peaks of a freshly whipped meringue.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introducing cheese and crime--a pairing that seems more fitting for a caper film than academic research. Yet here we are, delving into the enigmatic world of cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates in the beloved state of Georgia. It's a situation that even the most seasoned dairy detective might find grate-ifyingly puzzling.
The notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing criminal behavior may seem far-fetched, reminiscent of a cheesy crime flick rather than empirical science. But as the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding"--or in this case, the cottage cheese. Our investigation aims to explore the curious connection between this dairy delight and the surge in burglaries, provoking skepticism and speculation akin to a good old-fashioned whodunit.
As we embark on this dairy-driven investigation, let's not forget the importance of maintaining a sharp wit alongside our sharp statistical tools. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must remain ever vigilant for potential "curd-les" in our data and interpretations, ensuring we don't end up lost in the "whey-st" of misleading correlations.
The prospect of cottage cheese influencing criminal activity may seem udderly preposterous at first glance, but as with any scientific inquiry, we must approach it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. After all, in the world of research, sometimes the most bizarre and seemingly "cheesy" ideas turn out to be the ones that lead to groundbreaking discoveries. Let's hope we catch a gouda breakthrough in this case!
Now, armed with our statistical sleuthing skills and a healthy dose of skepticism, let's plunge into the realm of curds and crime, prepared to unearth the unexpected and the utterly dairy-lirious. Let's embark on this investigation with the caution befitting of any good detective, because in this game of cat-and-mouse, the stakes are as high as the peaks of a freshly whipped meringue.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The relationship between dietary choices and criminal behaviors has been a subject of interest for researchers across various fields. Smith et al. (2015) conducted an extensive study on the impact of dairy consumption on antisocial activities, finding compelling evidence for a correlation between cheese intake and misdemeanor incidents. However, it is essential to note that their study did not specifically delve into the distinct properties of cottage cheese and its potential influence on unlawful behavior.

Doe and Jones (2018) expanded upon this line of inquiry in their exploration of the effects of calcium-rich foods on delinquency rates. Their findings suggested a potential link between high-calcium dairy products and an uptick in minor offenses. Nevertheless, their study did not explicitly focus on the nuances of cottage cheese consumption and its unique behavioral repercussions.

In "The Big Cheese: A Dairy Detective's Casebook" by Muenster and Brie (2017), the authors presented a fictional tale of dairy-driven crime, blurring the lines between imagination and empirical inquiry. This whimsical account, while not rooted in empirical evidence, undoubtedly added an element of curiosity to the intersection of dairy products and unlawful activities.

Similarly, "Feta to Black: A Cheese Mystery" by Cheddar (2019) captivated readers with its playful narrative of a fromage-fueled criminal conspiracy, serving as a testament to the enduring fascination with unconventional connections, even in the realm of fiction.

Inspired by the intrigue of board games such as "Clue" and "Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective," where players unravel complex mysteries through deductive reasoning, our investigation aims to apply a similar spirit of inquiry to the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Georgia. After all, in the game of research, it's crucial to approach each case with a sharp mind and a healthy dose of humor - because when it comes to investigating curd-inary capers, there's no room for lactose intolerance!

Jones and Smith (2020) urged for a re-examination of traditional investigative methods in their study on unlikely correlations, emphasizing the importance of embracing unconventional connections in scientific inquiry. As we navigate the curious case of cottage cheese and crime, their admonition comes to mind, reminding us to approach this investigation with a sense of curiosity and an appetite for unexpected revelations.

And speaking of appetites, it's time to sprinkle in a relevant dad joke: Why did the cheeseburger go to the gym? To get shredded!



Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Introducing cheese and crime--a pairing that seems more fitting for a caper film than academic research. Yet here we are, delving into the enigmatic world of cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates in the beloved state of Georgia. It's a situation that even the most seasoned dairy detective might find grate-ifyingly puzzling.
The notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing criminal behavior may seem far-fetched, reminiscent of a cheesy crime flick rather than empirical science. But as the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding"--or in this case, the cottage cheese. Our investigation aims to explore the curious connection between this dairy delight and the surge in burglaries, provoking skepticism and speculation akin to a good old-fashioned whodunit.
As we embark on this dairy-driven investigation, let's not forget the importance of maintaining a sharp wit alongside our sharp statistical tools. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must remain ever vigilant for potential "curd-les" in our data and interpretations, ensuring we don't end up lost in the "whey-st" of misleading correlations.
The prospect of cottage cheese influencing criminal activity may seem udderly preposterous at first glance, but as with any scientific inquiry, we must approach it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. After all, in the world of research, sometimes the most bizarre and seemingly "cheesy" ideas turn out to be the ones that lead to groundbreaking discoveries. Let's hope we catch a gouda breakthrough in this case!
Now, armed with our statistical sleuthing skills and a healthy dose of skepticism, let's plunge into the realm of curds and crime, prepared to unearth the unexpected and the utterly dairy-lirious. Let's embark on this investigation with the caution befitting of any good detective, because in this game of cat-and-mouse, the stakes are as high as the peaks of a freshly whipped meringue.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

In this study, we employed a multifaceted approach to investigate the purported association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia. We adopted a longitudinal design, spanning the years 1990 to 2021, in order to capture the fluctuations in both cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates over time. Our method of data collection involved trawling through various sources, including the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. We may or may not have consumed copious amounts of cottage cheese ourselves in the quest for scientific truth, but such details may remain... "ungratefully confidential."

To evaluate cottage cheese consumption, we utilized per capita consumption data available from the USDA, and to assess burglary rates, we leveraged information from the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. These data sources provided a comprehensive snapshot of the trends in cottage cheese intake and burglary incidents over the years, allowing us to conduct a detailed analysis that was as thorough and hole-free as a good Emmental.

Our statistical analysis employed a series of rigorous techniques to determine the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. First, we conducted Pearson's correlation analysis to measure the strength and direction of the association between these two variables. The correlation coefficient we uncovered was as "gouda" as it gets, suggesting a robust connection worthy of close examination. It was certainly a "coef-ficient to remember," especially when discussing dairy-related delinquency with colleagues.

With the robust correlation in hand, we proceeded to perform multiple regression analysis to control for potential confounding factors such as socioeconomic variables, law enforcement measures, and perhaps even the presence of particularly zealous lactose-intolerant mice in the state of Georgia. Our regression model allowed us to tease out the unique contribution of cottage cheese consumption to the variance in burglary rates, guiding us through a maze of statistical significance akin to a game of "whey-rded Clue."

As part of our methodology, we also considered seasonality and potential time-lags in the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries. It was essential to ensure that our findings were not mere "curd-incidences" resulting from the seasonal ebb and flow of cheese-loving criminal activities. Utilizing time series analysis, we uncovered patterns that were as unexpected as finding a wheel of Gouda in the attic, teasing apart the temporal dynamics of this captivating dairy-delinquency dance.

To further scrutinize our findings, we conducted sensitivity analyses and robustness checks, ensuring that our results retained their flavor even in the face of potential data quirks or anomalies. We wanted our conclusions to remain as robust as a block of aged cheddar, resisting the temptation to turn into a "shredded" mishmash of dairy-drenched delinquency.

Throughout our investigation, we remained acutely aware of the potential for spurious correlations and the "ched-dangers" of drawing causal inferences from our findings. To this end, we conducted additional analyses such as Granger causality tests and Monte Carlo simulations, providing a thorough "gouda-ing" of the robustness of our results. It was important to maintain a sense of scientific rigor, even while enveloped in the whimsical world of cheese and crime.

So, armed with our data, statistical prowess, and an affinity for dairy puns, we embarked on a journey through the labyrinthine maze of cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia. The aim? To unravel the "ricotta" of this intriguing relationship, leaving no scientific stone unturned in our quest for a thorough understanding of the curd-ious case of dairy delinquency.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8887354, r-squared of 0.7898506, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Introducing cheese and crime--a pairing that seems more fitting for a caper film than academic research. Yet here we are, delving into the enigmatic world of cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates in the beloved state of Georgia. It's a situation that even the most seasoned dairy detective might find grate-ifyingly puzzling.
The notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing criminal behavior may seem far-fetched, reminiscent of a cheesy crime flick rather than empirical science. But as the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding"--or in this case, the cottage cheese. Our investigation aims to explore the curious connection between this dairy delight and the surge in burglaries, provoking skepticism and speculation akin to a good old-fashioned whodunit.
As we embark on this dairy-driven investigation, let's not forget the importance of maintaining a sharp wit alongside our sharp statistical tools. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must remain ever vigilant for potential "curd-les" in our data and interpretations, ensuring we don't end up lost in the "whey-st" of misleading correlations.
The prospect of cottage cheese influencing criminal activity may seem udderly preposterous at first glance, but as with any scientific inquiry, we must approach it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. After all, in the world of research, sometimes the most bizarre and seemingly "cheesy" ideas turn out to be the ones that lead to groundbreaking discoveries. Let's hope we catch a gouda breakthrough in this case!
Now, armed with our statistical sleuthing skills and a healthy dose of skepticism, let's plunge into the realm of curds and crime, prepared to unearth the unexpected and the utterly dairy-lirious. Let's embark on this investigation with the caution befitting of any good detective, because in this game of cat-and-mouse, the stakes are as high as the peaks of a freshly whipped meringue.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia yielded some udderly intriguing results. Our data indicated a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8887354, suggesting a strong positive association between the two variables. This finding certainly curd-ifies the notion that there may be more than meets the eye when it comes to the impact of cottage cheese on criminal activities in the Peach State.

The calculated r-squared value of 0.7898506 further corroborates the robustness of the relationship, indicating that approximately 78.99% of the variations in burglary rates can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the influence of this dairy delight on crime rates transcends mere coincidence and ascends to the level of statistical significance.

The p-value, which clocked in at less than 0.01, provides compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis and accept the alternative hypothesis that there is a significant relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia. This result is certainly whey out there but seems to cheddar some light on the potential impact of dietary choices on criminal behavior.

Furthermore, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) accompanying these findings visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. This graph, like a good cheese, tells a gouda story of the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, leaving no room for skepticism but plenty of room for cheesy puns.

It appears that the 'cottage crime wave' is not merely a feta-seable figment of imagination, but a statistical reality worth further exploration. The results of this study point to the existence of a "brie-liant" yet unexpected parallel between dairy consumption and criminal activities in Georgia, adding a truly "gouda" dimension to the ever-evolving landscape of criminological research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The relationship between dietary choices and criminal behaviors has been a subject of interest for researchers across various fields. Smith et al. (2015) conducted an extensive study on the impact of dairy consumption on antisocial activities, finding compelling evidence for a correlation between cheese intake and misdemeanor incidents. However, it is essential to note that their study did not specifically delve into the distinct properties of cottage cheese and its potential influence on unlawful behavior.
Doe and Jones (2018) expanded upon this line of inquiry in their exploration of the effects of calcium-rich foods on delinquency rates. Their findings suggested a potential link between high-calcium dairy products and an uptick in minor offenses. Nevertheless, their study did not explicitly focus on the nuances of cottage cheese consumption and its unique behavioral repercussions.
In "The Big Cheese: A Dairy Detective's Casebook" by Muenster and Brie (2017), the authors presented a fictional tale of dairy-driven crime, blurring the lines between imagination and empirical inquiry. This whimsical account, while not rooted in empirical evidence, undoubtedly added an element of curiosity to the intersection of dairy products and unlawful activities.
Similarly, "Feta to Black: A Cheese Mystery" by Cheddar (2019) captivated readers with its playful narrative of a fromage-fueled criminal conspiracy, serving as a testament to the enduring fascination with unconventional connections, even in the realm of fiction.
Inspired by the intrigue of board games such as "Clue" and "Sherlock Holmes: Consulting Detective," where players unravel complex mysteries through deductive reasoning, our investigation aims to apply a similar spirit of inquiry to the unexpected correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Georgia. After all, in the game of research, it's crucial to approach each case with a sharp mind and a healthy dose of humor - because when it comes to investigating curd-inary capers, there's no room for lactose intolerance!
Jones and Smith (2020) urged for a re-examination of traditional investigative methods in their study on unlikely correlations, emphasizing the importance of embracing unconventional connections in scientific inquiry. As we navigate the curious case of cottage cheese and crime, their admonition comes to mind, reminding us to approach this investigation with a sense of curiosity and an appetite for unexpected revelations.
And speaking of appetites, it's time to sprinkle in a relevant dad joke: Why did the cheeseburger go to the gym? To get shredded!


[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia yielded some udderly intriguing results. Our data indicated a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8887354, suggesting a strong positive association between the two variables. This finding certainly curd-ifies the notion that there may be more than meets the eye when it comes to the impact of cottage cheese on criminal activities in the Peach State.
The calculated r-squared value of 0.7898506 further corroborates the robustness of the relationship, indicating that approximately 78.99% of the variations in burglary rates can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the influence of this dairy delight on crime rates transcends mere coincidence and ascends to the level of statistical significance.
The p-value, which clocked in at less than 0.01, provides compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis and accept the alternative hypothesis that there is a significant relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia. This result is certainly whey out there but seems to cheddar some light on the potential impact of dietary choices on criminal behavior.
Furthermore, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) accompanying these findings visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. This graph, like a good cheese, tells a gouda story of the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, leaving no room for skepticism but plenty of room for cheesy puns.
It appears that the 'cottage crime wave' is not merely a feta-seable figment of imagination, but a statistical reality worth further exploration. The results of this study point to the existence of a "brie-liant" yet unexpected parallel between dairy consumption and criminal activities in Georgia, adding a truly "gouda" dimension to the ever-evolving landscape of criminological research.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

In the delightful game of uncovering curd-inary capers, our findings have churned up some intriguing and, dare I say, "gouda" results. The significant correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia, as demonstrated by our statistical analysis, provides strong support for the previously unexplored link between dairy intake and criminal behavior. It seems that when it comes to dairy-driven delinquency, there's no whey of escaping the influence of everyone's favorite curdled treat.

Our results align with prior research by Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018), who hinted at a dairy-crime connection, albeit not specifically focused on the case of cottage cheese. It appears that our study has curd-ified the existence of a compelling relationship between dairy consumption and unlawful activities, giving researchers and law enforcement a fresh perspective on the cheddarous potential of dietary interventions in preventing crime. This discovery is surely enough to make even the most seasoned criminologist say, "Holy cow!"

In parsing through the data, we couldn't help but ponder, how "whey" exactly does cottage cheese contribute to these criminal behaviors? Is it the creamy texture that soothes the savage beast within, or perhaps the lactic acid's inadvertent influence on illicit inclinations? As we continue to peel back the layers of this cheesy mystery, we must not underestimate the power of dairy dynamics in shaping behavioral choices.

The substantial r-squared value of 0.7898506 speaks volumes, suggesting that nearly 79% of the variation in burglary rates can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. This statistic, while striking, fits seamlessly into the larger narrative of dairy's hitherto underappreciated influence on our social fabric. It seems that when it comes to curdled conspiracies, there's no room for lactose-intolerant hypotheses.

Our study's results insist on a re-evaluation of the old adage "the proof is in the pudding," for it appears that in this case, the proof is in the curds. The p-value's affirmation of the significant relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates leaves us with a delicious array of questions to ponder. How will law enforcement agencies "milk" this discovery for all it's worth? Will criminologists crumble under the weight of this newfound connection? These and other questions pave the whey for future investigations into the intriguing dairy-delinquency dialectic.

As we reflect on the un-brie-lievable nature of our findings, we must acknowledge that this study has opened a proverbial "cheese plate" of possibilities for further research. The next time someone dismisses the dairy aisle as uneventful, we can confidently remind them that in the world of criminological research, there's always room for a "gouda" surprise. And with that, let's melt into some dairy-themed humor: Why did the cheese go to the art gallery? Because it wanted to be a-maize-d by the cheddar!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Georgia. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia

[[ABSTRACT]]
Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."

Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.

As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."

While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Introducing cheese and crime--a pairing that seems more fitting for a caper film than academic research. Yet here we are, delving into the enigmatic world of cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates in the beloved state of Georgia. It's a situation that even the most seasoned dairy detective might find grate-ifyingly puzzling.
The notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing criminal behavior may seem far-fetched, reminiscent of a cheesy crime flick rather than empirical science. But as the saying goes, "the proof is in the pudding"--or in this case, the cottage cheese. Our investigation aims to explore the curious connection between this dairy delight and the surge in burglaries, provoking skepticism and speculation akin to a good old-fashioned whodunit.
As we embark on this dairy-driven investigation, let's not forget the importance of maintaining a sharp wit alongside our sharp statistical tools. In the spirit of scientific inquiry, we must remain ever vigilant for potential "curd-les" in our data and interpretations, ensuring we don't end up lost in the "whey-st" of misleading correlations.
The prospect of cottage cheese influencing criminal activity may seem udderly preposterous at first glance, but as with any scientific inquiry, we must approach it with an open mind and a willingness to embrace the unexpected. After all, in the world of research, sometimes the most bizarre and seemingly "cheesy" ideas turn out to be the ones that lead to groundbreaking discoveries. Let's hope we catch a gouda breakthrough in this case!
Now, armed with our statistical sleuthing skills and a healthy dose of skepticism, let's plunge into the realm of curds and crime, prepared to unearth the unexpected and the utterly dairy-lirious. Let's embark on this investigation with the caution befitting of any good detective, because in this game of cat-and-mouse, the stakes are as high as the peaks of a freshly whipped meringue.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia yielded some udderly intriguing results. Our data indicated a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8887354, suggesting a strong positive association between the two variables. This finding certainly curd-ifies the notion that there may be more than meets the eye when it comes to the impact of cottage cheese on criminal activities in the Peach State.
The calculated r-squared value of 0.7898506 further corroborates the robustness of the relationship, indicating that approximately 78.99% of the variations in burglary rates can be explained by changes in cottage cheese consumption. It seems that the influence of this dairy delight on crime rates transcends mere coincidence and ascends to the level of statistical significance.
The p-value, which clocked in at less than 0.01, provides compelling evidence to reject the null hypothesis and accept the alternative hypothesis that there is a significant relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Georgia. This result is certainly whey out there but seems to cheddar some light on the potential impact of dietary choices on criminal behavior.
Furthermore, the scatterplot (Fig. 1) accompanying these findings visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates. This graph, like a good cheese, tells a gouda story of the undeniable link between these seemingly unrelated variables, leaving no room for skepticism but plenty of room for cheesy puns.
It appears that the 'cottage crime wave' is not merely a feta-seable figment of imagination, but a statistical reality worth further exploration. The results of this study point to the existence of a "brie-liant" yet unexpected parallel between dairy consumption and criminal activities in Georgia, adding a truly "gouda" dimension to the ever-evolving landscape of criminological research.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has certainly churned out some fascinating findings regarding the connection between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Georgia. The overwhelmingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 indicates a relationship that's as strong as a good aged cheddar. It's safe to say that this research has definitely stirred the pot in the world of crime and dairy.

As we wrap up this investigation, it's clear that the concept of cottage cheese crime may have some "holy cow" implications for our understanding of criminal behavior. The evidence presented in this study is more than just a result of "dairy coincidence" - it suggests a substantive link between munching on cottage cheese and mischief-making.

The calculated r-squared value of 0.7898506 further solidifies the "whey-lationship" between these variables, showing that nearly 79% of the variations in burglary rates can be explained by the delectable goodness of cottage cheese. It seems that when it comes to crime, there's no use crying over spilt milk - unless that milk has curdled into cottage cheese and fueled a crime spree!

Considering the p-value of less than 0.01, it's clear that the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries is as strong as the smell of Limburger on a hot summer's day. This finding is truly "grate"-ful in shedding light on the unexpected influence of dietary choices on criminal activities. It seems that when it comes to the dairy aisle, one must always proceed with caution!

In light of these compelling results, we assert that no further research in this area is needed. The evidence has been "gathered," and it's certainly not "gouda nuff" for more exploration. So, let's put an end to the investigation and say "cheese!" to these findings. After all, there's no "whey" we should "bleu" this opportunity for a "pun-derful" conclusion!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The International Journal of Dairy Dilemmas


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy Delinquency Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cottage Cheese Crime: A Curd-ious Case of Dairy Delinquency in Georgia with an abstract of Cottage cheese consumption and its potential impact on burglary rates have long been a source of intrigue and skepticism. This study delves into the correlation between the consumption of cottage cheese and incidents of burglaries in the state of Georgia. Utilizing data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, we employed rigorous statistical analysis to uncover some surprising findings, proving that there is more to these dairy treats than meets the "whey."
Our research revealed a striking correlation coefficient of 0.8887354 and p < 0.01, indicating a notably strong association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in the state. The data suggests that as the consumption of cottage cheese increased, so did the incidence of burglaries, leading us to consider the tantalizing possibility of a "cheddar cheese effect" on criminal behavior.
As we slice through the data, the relationship between cottage cheese and burglaries becomes clearer, providing evidence to substantiate its role as a "cheese-crime connector," much to the chagrin of dairy enthusiasts. Our findings, while certainly un-brie-lievable, shed light on the peculiar interplay between dietary choices and criminal activities, prompting us to rethink the adage "better to be safe than sorry."
While further research is warranted to understand the underlying mechanisms at play, one thing remains clear: when it comes to cottage cheese and crime, there's no whey of escaping the gouda-old influence of dairy on delinquency.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, burglary rates, Georgia, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, statistical analysis, correlation coefficient, cheddar cheese effect, dairy treats, criminal behavior, cheese-crime connector, dietary choices, underlying mechanisms, dairy influence on delinquency

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Burglaries in Georgia
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Georgia
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Georgia

Correlation r = 0.8887354 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7898506 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 79% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Georgia) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.1E-11. 0.0000000000111011703535798720
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.89 in 1.1E-9% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 90,080,592,239 random variables You don't actually need 90 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.78, 0.94 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Burglaries in Georgia (Burglary rate)1619.41514.71442.81307.31153.91059.91114.81086.3990.8917.1836.6854.2865.3910.5930.6924.9909.29461038.31003.2998.2978.5877.3835772.8668.2608.1531.7445.4352.6290.7203.7




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([1619.4,1514.7,1442.8,1307.3,1153.9,1059.9,1114.8,1086.3,990.8,917.1,836.6,854.2,865.3,910.5,930.6,924.9,909.2,946,1038.3,1003.2,998.2,978.5,877.3,835,772.8,668.2,608.1,531.7,445.4,352.6,290.7,203.7,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Georgia"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 3749 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20086
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