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Spurious correlation #3,547 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Columbus and the second variable is Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon.  The chart goes from 1987 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the air over Columbus cleared up, it started to exhibit a magnetic property, creating a 'suction effect' for all things green. This invisible force began attracting leaves, branches, and even confused woodland creatures, leading to a gradual thinning of the Amazon forest. Before they knew it, the trees were packing their bags and heading towards Ohio for a breath of fresh air.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image of a serene night sky in Columbus, Ohio, where the stars and moon are shining brightly. Reflect a sense of romantic stargazing with a couple or group of people admiring the night sky. Simultaneously, showcase the Amazon rainforest with a powerful representation of environmentalists passionately advocating for tree conservation. This could be depicted through silhouettes of people standing in front of a lush and vibrant forest, conveying their dedication to protecting the environment. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Data cyber art A scene from Skyrim A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s 3D Pixar Style Cyberpunk
ChatGPT: A scene from Skyrim

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon, in the following situation: Because the decline in air pollution in Columbus led to a decrease in the production of aerosol particles, there were fewer tiny "Ohio" particles floating in the atmosphere. This allowed for better visibility of the stars and moon, prompting romantic night-time stargazing sessions for the residents. Feeling more connected to nature, many Columbus locals took up tree-hugging as a hobby, leading to a surge in demand for sustainable wood products. This sudden focus on tree conservation inspired a group of passionate environmentalists to take a trip to the Brazilian Amazon, where they lobbied tirelessly for the preservation of the rainforest. As a result, the Brazilian government, influenced by the earnest pleas of these unlikely tree-huggers from Columbus, made a concerted effort to protect the remaining forest cover in the Amazon.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Columbus, the air felt cleaner as fewer "Ohio" particles hung in the sky, allowing the stars and moon to shine brighter. Residents gathered for romantic stargazing sessions. Meanwhile, in the Brazilian Amazon, a passionate group of Columbus environmentalists lobbied for tree conservation, inspiring the government to protect the remaining forest cover.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A scene from Skyrim ] and depicting this scene: In Columbus, the air felt cleaner as fewer "Ohio" particles hung in the sky, allowing the stars and moon to shine brighter. Residents gathered for romantic stargazing sessions. Meanwhile, in the Brazilian Amazon, a passionate group of Columbus environmentalists lobbied for tree conservation, inspiring the government to protect the remaining forest cover. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image of a serene night sky in Columbus, Ohio, where the stars and moon are shining brightly. Reflect a sense of romantic stargazing with a couple or group of people admiring the night sky. Simultaneously, showcase the Amazon rainforest with a powerful representation of environmentalists passionately advocating for tree conservation. This could be depicted through silhouettes of people standing in front of a lush and vibrant forest, conveying their dedication to protecting the environment.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Air pollution in Columbus caused Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed

Journal of Environmental Ecology and Conservation

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 and p < 0.01 for 1987 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The interconnectedness of environmental systems often leads to surprising associations and intricate relationships. As we pore over the dynamic data of air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, it's clear that the air we breathe in one part of the world can have far-reaching implications for the trees standing tall in another. It's almost like a game of "six degrees of separation," but with smog and leaves instead of Kevin Bacon.

Our research embarked on this journey with a simple question: "What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!" The humor aside, our investigation unravelled a compelling connection between human activity in urban centers and the ecological impacts on remote rainforests, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take affects ecosystems both near and far.

As we dug deeper into the data, we couldn't help but chuckle: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Yet, amidst the levity, our findings painted a serious picture of the challenge at hand. The evidence demonstrated a consistent and statistically significant link between the increasing air pollution in Columbus and the decreasing forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. It's a sobering reminder that the choices we make in our local environments can reverberate across continents, leaving us with some food for thought and perhaps a touch of carbon monoxy-gin for good measure.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then devolve ever further, and mention something completely ridiculous, like you conducted literature review by reading the backs of shampoo bottles.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The interconnectedness of environmental systems often leads to surprising associations and intricate relationships. As we pore over the dynamic data of air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, it's clear that the air we breathe in one part of the world can have far-reaching implications for the trees standing tall in another. It's almost like a game of "six degrees of separation," but with smog and leaves instead of Kevin Bacon.
Our research embarked on this journey with a simple question: "What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!" The humor aside, our investigation unravelled a compelling connection between human activity in urban centers and the ecological impacts on remote rainforests, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take affects ecosystems both near and far.
As we dug deeper into the data, we couldn't help but chuckle: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Yet, amidst the levity, our findings painted a serious picture of the challenge at hand. The evidence demonstrated a consistent and statistically significant link between the increasing air pollution in Columbus and the decreasing forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. It's a sobering reminder that the choices we make in our local environments can reverberate across continents, leaving us with some food for thought and perhaps a touch of carbon monoxy-gin for good measure.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their seminal work, Smith and Doe (2015) examine the impact of urban air pollution on global forest cover. Their study delves into the intricate web of environmental interconnectedness, shedding light on the far-reaching consequences of human activity in urban centers. The findings underscore the need for comprehensive strategies to mitigate air pollution and its cascading effects on remote ecosystems. As we navigate this labyrinth of cause and effect, it's clear that the adage "what goes up, must come down" holds true not only for airborne pollutants but also for the leaves in distant rainforests.

As the research unravels, the insights of Jones (2018) and Brown (2020) offer a detailed exploration of deforestation patterns in the Brazilian Amazon. Their thorough analysis uncovers the complex interplay of socio-economic factors and environmental policies that contribute to the decline of forest cover. It's almost as if the trees are whispering their story through the wind, imploring us to listen and take action.

Turning to the non-fiction realm, "The Sixth Extinction" by Elizabeth Kolbert and "The Hidden Life of Trees" by Peter Wohlleben provide nuanced perspectives on the interconnectedness of ecosystems and the impact of human activity on natural habitats. The urgency of conservation efforts resonates through these works, as they offer a sobering reminder that the fate of forests is intertwined with the collective actions of humanity.

On a fictional note, the dystopian narratives of "The Overstory" by Richard Powers and "State of Fear" by Michael Crichton present speculative scenarios where environmental degradation and human interventions converge with dire consequences. While these novels offer entertainment, they also serve as cautionary tales, prompting reflection on the fragility of ecosystems and the delicate balance that sustains life on our planet.

And now, for a twist of the unexpected, it should be noted that our literature review journey took an unconventional turn. In an attempt to glean insights from unconventional sources, we combed through the back covers of shampoo bottles, hoping to lather up some unconventional wisdom. Alas, the only correlation we found was that a good lather can indeed make one feel like a tree in the rain, but unfortunately, it provided no actionable insights for our research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay . You used data from 1987 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The interconnectedness of environmental systems often leads to surprising associations and intricate relationships. As we pore over the dynamic data of air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, it's clear that the air we breathe in one part of the world can have far-reaching implications for the trees standing tall in another. It's almost like a game of "six degrees of separation," but with smog and leaves instead of Kevin Bacon.
Our research embarked on this journey with a simple question: "What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!" The humor aside, our investigation unravelled a compelling connection between human activity in urban centers and the ecological impacts on remote rainforests, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take affects ecosystems both near and far.
As we dug deeper into the data, we couldn't help but chuckle: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Yet, amidst the levity, our findings painted a serious picture of the challenge at hand. The evidence demonstrated a consistent and statistically significant link between the increasing air pollution in Columbus and the decreasing forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. It's a sobering reminder that the choices we make in our local environments can reverberate across continents, leaving us with some food for thought and perhaps a touch of carbon monoxy-gin for good measure.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To investigate the perplexing correlation between air pollution in Columbus, Ohio, and the decline in forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, our research employed a combination of rigorous statistical analysis and a healthy dose of tree-themed humor. Our data collection strategy was akin to a squirrel gathering nuts, scouring the depths of the Environmental Protection Agency's archives and venturing into the lush digital forests of Mongabay. We selected data from the expansive time range of 1987 to 2022, to ensure a comprehensive understanding of the evolving connection between these disparate ecosystems.

In conducting our analysis, we approached the data with the precision of a woodpecker carving into a tree – measured, yet unafraid to indulge in the occasional knock-knock joke. We utilized sophisticated statistical methods such as correlation analysis and regression modeling to quantify the relationship between air pollution levels in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Like a forester examining the rings of a tree, we meticulously examined each year’s data point to ascertain the long-term trends and fluctuations – and perhaps to count the occasional "tree-rings" joke.

In addition to the quantitative analysis, our research team explored qualitative insights through a series of semi-structured interviews with environmental experts. This portion of the study enabled a more nuanced understanding of the underlying mechanisms and potential causal factors driving the observed correlation. Just as a copse of trees provides shelter for diverse species, these interviews provided a richer context for interpreting the statistical findings, with the odd environmental pun sprinkled in for good measure.

To ensure the validity and robustness of our findings, we took steps to mitigate potential sources of bias, employing rigorous data validation procedures and cross-referencing multiple data sources. However, no amount of methodological rigor could prevent us from crafting a relevant dateline to lighten the mood – after all, who can resist a good old-fashioned tree pun!

Our approach to analyzing the connection between air pollution in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon aimed to merge the rigors of scientific inquiry with a touch of whimsy. By amalgamating thorough data analysis and a sprinkle of humor, we sought to not only elucidate the pressing environmental relationship at the heart of this research but also to remind ourselves that even in the midst of authoritative scholarship, a well-timed dad joke is like a breath of fresh air.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay .

For the time period 1987 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.6769960, r-squared of 0.4583236, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The interconnectedness of environmental systems often leads to surprising associations and intricate relationships. As we pore over the dynamic data of air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, it's clear that the air we breathe in one part of the world can have far-reaching implications for the trees standing tall in another. It's almost like a game of "six degrees of separation," but with smog and leaves instead of Kevin Bacon.
Our research embarked on this journey with a simple question: "What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!" The humor aside, our investigation unravelled a compelling connection between human activity in urban centers and the ecological impacts on remote rainforests, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take affects ecosystems both near and far.
As we dug deeper into the data, we couldn't help but chuckle: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Yet, amidst the levity, our findings painted a serious picture of the challenge at hand. The evidence demonstrated a consistent and statistically significant link between the increasing air pollution in Columbus and the decreasing forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. It's a sobering reminder that the choices we make in our local environments can reverberate across continents, leaving us with some food for thought and perhaps a touch of carbon monoxy-gin for good measure.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The findings of our investigation revealed a robust correlation between the concentration of air pollutants in Columbus, Ohio, and the declining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 and an r-squared value of 0.4583236 indicated a strong and statistically significant link between these two seemingly disparate environmental factors. It's safe to say that our results stem from a breath of fresh air in the field of environmental research!

Fig. 1 highlights the striking relationship between air pollution levels in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The scatterplot vividly demonstrates the trend, showcasing a clear inverse relationship as air pollution increases, forest cover decreases. It's almost as clear-cut as a freshly felled tree!

The implications of these findings are more than just academic: they underscore the global impact of local environmental decisions. The correlation uncovered in our research speaks volumes about the interconnectedness of ecosystems and stresses the need for comprehensive policy measures to address air pollution on a global scale. As we navigate the intricate web of environmental dynamics, it's essential to remember that the air we pollute today may end up ruffling more than just leaves in the distant forests tomorrow.

It's as if the trees in the Amazon are saying, "Why don't you leaf us alone?" But with a correlation this compelling, we can't afford to turn over a new leaf without addressing the roots of the issue.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their seminal work, Smith and Doe (2015) examine the impact of urban air pollution on global forest cover. Their study delves into the intricate web of environmental interconnectedness, shedding light on the far-reaching consequences of human activity in urban centers. The findings underscore the need for comprehensive strategies to mitigate air pollution and its cascading effects on remote ecosystems. As we navigate this labyrinth of cause and effect, it's clear that the adage "what goes up, must come down" holds true not only for airborne pollutants but also for the leaves in distant rainforests.
As the research unravels, the insights of Jones (2018) and Brown (2020) offer a detailed exploration of deforestation patterns in the Brazilian Amazon. Their thorough analysis uncovers the complex interplay of socio-economic factors and environmental policies that contribute to the decline of forest cover. It's almost as if the trees are whispering their story through the wind, imploring us to listen and take action.
Turning to the non-fiction realm, "The Sixth Extinction" by Elizabeth Kolbert and "The Hidden Life of Trees" by Peter Wohlleben provide nuanced perspectives on the interconnectedness of ecosystems and the impact of human activity on natural habitats. The urgency of conservation efforts resonates through these works, as they offer a sobering reminder that the fate of forests is intertwined with the collective actions of humanity.
On a fictional note, the dystopian narratives of "The Overstory" by Richard Powers and "State of Fear" by Michael Crichton present speculative scenarios where environmental degradation and human interventions converge with dire consequences. While these novels offer entertainment, they also serve as cautionary tales, prompting reflection on the fragility of ecosystems and the delicate balance that sustains life on our planet.
And now, for a twist of the unexpected, it should be noted that our literature review journey took an unconventional turn. In an attempt to glean insights from unconventional sources, we combed through the back covers of shampoo bottles, hoping to lather up some unconventional wisdom. Alas, the only correlation we found was that a good lather can indeed make one feel like a tree in the rain, but unfortunately, it provided no actionable insights for our research.

[[RESULTS]]
The findings of our investigation revealed a robust correlation between the concentration of air pollutants in Columbus, Ohio, and the declining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 and an r-squared value of 0.4583236 indicated a strong and statistically significant link between these two seemingly disparate environmental factors. It's safe to say that our results stem from a breath of fresh air in the field of environmental research!
Fig. 1 highlights the striking relationship between air pollution levels in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The scatterplot vividly demonstrates the trend, showcasing a clear inverse relationship as air pollution increases, forest cover decreases. It's almost as clear-cut as a freshly felled tree!
The implications of these findings are more than just academic: they underscore the global impact of local environmental decisions. The correlation uncovered in our research speaks volumes about the interconnectedness of ecosystems and stresses the need for comprehensive policy measures to address air pollution on a global scale. As we navigate the intricate web of environmental dynamics, it's essential to remember that the air we pollute today may end up ruffling more than just leaves in the distant forests tomorrow.
It's as if the trees in the Amazon are saying, "Why don't you leaf us alone?" But with a correlation this compelling, we can't afford to turn over a new leaf without addressing the roots of the issue.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings corroborate the established research, aligning with the intricate web of environmental interconnectedness highlighted by Smith and Doe (2015). It's clear that the impact of urban air pollution on global forest cover extends beyond mere speculation. In fact, the correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 that we uncovered is as strong as a sturdy oak! This not only supports the seminal work of our predecessors but also branches out to emphasize the pivotal role of urban environmental factors in distant ecosystems.

As we consider the insights of Jones (2018) and Brown (2020) into the complex interplay of socio-economic factors and environmental policies affecting the Brazilian Amazon, our results provide a tangible link between urban air pollution and remote deforestation. It's almost as if the trees in the Amazon are beckoning us to address the smog in Columbus with a persuasive "bark" of warning!

The dystopian narratives of "The Overstory" by Richard Powers and "State of Fear" by Michael Crichton, though fictional, eerily echo the potential ramifications of our research findings. The figments of imagination in these novels are probably ex-figments now, as our results lend credence to the plausible scenarios of environmental degradation and human interventions converging with dire consequences. In light of this, it's crucial to recognize the significance of our findings in driving home the message that the decisions we make today can reverberate through forest canopies and urban landscapes alike.

With a correlation as compelling as this, it's clear that our research has rooted out an essential connection between seemingly disparate environmental forces. As we delve deeper into the complexities of environmental dynamics, let's remember that even in the leafy domain of academia, a well-timed dad joke can oxygenate the discourse – after all, we could all use a little humor to spruce up our discussions on deforestation and air pollution!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Columbus and Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon. You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!

As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.

Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The interconnectedness of environmental systems often leads to surprising associations and intricate relationships. As we pore over the dynamic data of air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, it's clear that the air we breathe in one part of the world can have far-reaching implications for the trees standing tall in another. It's almost like a game of "six degrees of separation," but with smog and leaves instead of Kevin Bacon.
Our research embarked on this journey with a simple question: "What did the tree say to the wind? Leaf me alone!" The humor aside, our investigation unravelled a compelling connection between human activity in urban centers and the ecological impacts on remote rainforests, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take affects ecosystems both near and far.
As we dug deeper into the data, we couldn't help but chuckle: "Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems." Yet, amidst the levity, our findings painted a serious picture of the challenge at hand. The evidence demonstrated a consistent and statistically significant link between the increasing air pollution in Columbus and the decreasing forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. It's a sobering reminder that the choices we make in our local environments can reverberate across continents, leaving us with some food for thought and perhaps a touch of carbon monoxy-gin for good measure.

[[RESULTS]]
The findings of our investigation revealed a robust correlation between the concentration of air pollutants in Columbus, Ohio, and the declining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 and an r-squared value of 0.4583236 indicated a strong and statistically significant link between these two seemingly disparate environmental factors. It's safe to say that our results stem from a breath of fresh air in the field of environmental research!
Fig. 1 highlights the striking relationship between air pollution levels in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. The scatterplot vividly demonstrates the trend, showcasing a clear inverse relationship as air pollution increases, forest cover decreases. It's almost as clear-cut as a freshly felled tree!
The implications of these findings are more than just academic: they underscore the global impact of local environmental decisions. The correlation uncovered in our research speaks volumes about the interconnectedness of ecosystems and stresses the need for comprehensive policy measures to address air pollution on a global scale. As we navigate the intricate web of environmental dynamics, it's essential to remember that the air we pollute today may end up ruffling more than just leaves in the distant forests tomorrow.
It's as if the trees in the Amazon are saying, "Why don't you leaf us alone?" But with a correlation this compelling, we can't afford to turn over a new leaf without addressing the roots of the issue.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research unearths a compelling association between air pollution in Columbus and the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon, revealing a correlation that's as clear as the air on a smog-free day. Our findings remind us that the decisions we make in our local environments can have a global impact, echoing the sentiment that every breath we take leaves a footprint, or perhaps a leafprint, on ecosystems near and far.

As we ponder the implications of our results, it's hard not to crack a smile and say, "What do you get when you cross a tree with a mathematician? A tree with square roots!" In all seriousness, however, our research underscores the urgency of coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally and protect our planet's green lungs.

As we leaf through the pages of our research, it becomes abundantly clear that no more research is needed in this area. It's time to branch out and take meaningful action to safeguard our environment for future generations. Our findings speak for themselves, leaving us with a feeling so uplifting, it's like a breath of fresh air - or should we say, a breath of fresh forest air?


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Environmental Ecology and Conservation


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Environmental Ecology and Climate Action


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Smog in Columbus, Trees in Trouble: The Air Pollution-Deforestation Connection Revealed with an abstract of In this paper, we delve into the intriguing correlation between air pollution levels in Columbus, Ohio, and the dwindling forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Our research team, equipped with a passion for puns and a penchant for dad jokes, harnessed data from the Environmental Protection Agency and Mongabay to scrutinize this connection. After crunching the numbers, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.6769960 with a p-value of less than 0.01. In other words, the results were treemendous!
As we delved into the data, we couldn't help but ponder: "What do you call a tree that doubts the existence of air pollution? A skeptic fir!" With this discovery, it became evident that the air pollution levels in Columbus have a significant association with the remaining forest cover in the Brazilian Amazon. Furthermore, our findings suggest that this correlation has persisted from 1987 to 2022, revealing a sobering relationship between the urban environment and the remote rainforest.
Our research brings to light the pressing need for coordinated efforts to combat air pollution globally, ensuring that we protect our planet's lungs, both literal and figurative. As we continue to unearth the complexities of environmental dynamics, let us remember that even in the forest of academia, a well-timed dad joke can provide the oxygen of levity amid the serious discussions.

ChatGPT:

smog, air pollution, Columbus, Ohio, deforestation, forest cover, Brazilian Amazon, correlation, environmental protection agency, data analysis, urban environment, rainforest, global air pollution, environmental dynamics

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Air pollution in Columbus
Detailed data title: Percentage of days 'unhealthy' or worse air quality in Columbus, OH
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Columbus

Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon
Detailed data title: Estimated Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon
Source: Mongabay
See what else correlates with Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon

Correlation r = 0.6769960 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.4583236 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 45.8% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Columbus) over the 36 years from 1987 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 5.8E-6. 0.0000057903699808990940000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.68 in 0.00058% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 172,701 random variables You don't actually need 172 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 35 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 35 because we have two variables measured over a period of 36 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.45, 0.82 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
198719881989199019911992199319941995199619971998199920002001200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Air pollution in Columbus (Bad air quality days)2.465756.010931.917812.191786.301372.185791.643843.01374.109594.918033.287675.479456.301371.366122.739737.671232.191780.2732241.917810.5479451.923080.27322400.2739731.095890.8196720000000000
Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon (Sq. KM)374457037235203705750369202036809903667200365231036374103608350359019035769603559580354232035241003505930348428034588803431110341210033978103386160337325033657903358790335237033478003341910333690033306903322800331585033083103298550329012032796503268050




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([2.46575,6.01093,1.91781,2.19178,6.30137,2.18579,1.64384,3.0137,4.10959,4.91803,3.28767,5.47945,6.30137,1.36612,2.73973,7.67123,2.19178,0.273224,1.91781,0.547945,1.92308,0.273224,0,0.273973,1.09589,0.819672,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,0,])
array_2 = np.array([3744570,3723520,3705750,3692020,3680990,3667200,3652310,3637410,3608350,3590190,3576960,3559580,3542320,3524100,3505930,3484280,3458880,3431110,3412100,3397810,3386160,3373250,3365790,3358790,3352370,3347800,3341910,3336900,3330690,3322800,3315850,3308310,3298550,3290120,3279650,3268050,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Columbus"
array_2_name = "Remaining Forest Cover in the Brazilian Amazon"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 3547 · Black Variable ID: 20494 · Red Variable ID: 372
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