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Spurious correlation #3,431 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Earth and the second variable is The number of telemarketers in South Dakota.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The gravitational pull from Uranus created a space-time distortion that inadvertently redirected telemarketing calls to a parallel universe telemarketing agency, effectively decreasing the number of telemarketers in South Dakota. It's a cosmic case of misdialing across the universe! Or perhaps the telemarketers simply couldn't handle the astronomical changes in their call routing system, leading to a sudden exodus from the state. The uranusfuscation principal at play!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie, depicting the serene South Dakota plains under the evening sky, with a clear view of Uranus getting closer to Earth, causing the stars to twinkle and seem within reach. Show a peaceful setting with a few residents enjoying the quiet night, hinting at the decrease in telemarketers due to the disrupted cosmic forces. Capture the magical atmosphere as the cosmic event unfolds, filling the scene with wonder and tranquility. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Hyper-realistic Photorealism Realistic An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie inspired by bauhaus
ChatGPT: An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota, in the following situation: As the distance between Uranus and Earth decreased, the gravitational pull caused a disruption in the cosmic telemarketing network, leading to a decrease in the number of telemarketers bothering the good people of South Dakota.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: As Uranus moved closer to Earth, the twinkling stars seemed within reach. In South Dakota, a quiet evening settled over the rolling plains, with fewer telemarketers bothering the residents as the disrupted cosmic forces caused their numbers to decrease.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ An image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie ] and depicting this scene: As Uranus moved closer to Earth, the twinkling stars seemed within reach. In South Dakota, a quiet evening settled over the rolling plains, with fewer telemarketers bothering the residents as the disrupted cosmic forces caused their numbers to decrease. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image that looks like it is a scene from a Pixar movie, depicting the serene South Dakota plains under the evening sky, with a clear view of Uranus getting closer to Earth, causing the stars to twinkle and seem within reach. Show a peaceful setting with a few residents enjoying the quiet night, hinting at the decrease in telemarketers due to the disrupted cosmic forces. Capture the magical atmosphere as the cosmic event unfolds, filling the scene with wonder and tranquility.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The distance between Uranus and Earth caused The number of telemarketers in South Dakota to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota

The Journal of Unconventional Planetary Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The intersection of celestial mechanics and terrestrial nuisances has long been a subject of enduring fascination and lighthearted speculation. In this paper, we suspend disbelief and embark on a cosmic journey to examine the unexpected correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the undeniably lovely state of South Dakota. It is an inquiry that traverses the gravity of astronomical phenomena and the gravity of incessantly ringing telephones – a field of research that one might say is truly "out of this world."

The impetus for this investigation arises from a blend of scientific curiosity and a touch of whimsy. While the statistical relationship between the two seemingly disparate variables may at first glimpse appear as a whimsical cosmic dance, the robustness of the correlation coefficient and its associated significance level beckon us to delve deeper into the cosmic comedy of errors that is the human experience.

Now, before the celestial puns and terrestrial whimsy take flight, it is paramount to outline the gravity of our research inquiry. The data we have assembled from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics encompass the years 2003 to 2021, encapsulating a period of cosmic perspectives and perhaps cosmic disturbances. Our analysis has unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01, affirming a gravitational pull of statistical significance in the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the ever-persistent presence of telemarketers in South Dakota.

As we proceed, let us not forget that the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones may appear incongruous at first glance, but could it be that we are witnessing the intricate workings of an otherworldly mechanism? Our exploration endeavors to strike a chord of curiosity, inviting scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the unexpected cosmic connections that perpetually remind us of the boundless phenomena that inhabit the universe.

In the following sections, we will navigate through the observational data, statistical analyses, and the speculative dimensions of our findings, all the while keeping an eye on the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences and the terrestrial telemarketing melodic symphony. For in the vast expanse of space and in the realm of everyday annoyances, the unexpected connections we uncover may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intersection of celestial mechanics and terrestrial nuisances has long been a subject of enduring fascination and lighthearted speculation. In this paper, we suspend disbelief and embark on a cosmic journey to examine the unexpected correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the undeniably lovely state of South Dakota. It is an inquiry that traverses the gravity of astronomical phenomena and the gravity of incessantly ringing telephones – a field of research that one might say is truly "out of this world."
The impetus for this investigation arises from a blend of scientific curiosity and a touch of whimsy. While the statistical relationship between the two seemingly disparate variables may at first glimpse appear as a whimsical cosmic dance, the robustness of the correlation coefficient and its associated significance level beckon us to delve deeper into the cosmic comedy of errors that is the human experience.
Now, before the celestial puns and terrestrial whimsy take flight, it is paramount to outline the gravity of our research inquiry. The data we have assembled from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics encompass the years 2003 to 2021, encapsulating a period of cosmic perspectives and perhaps cosmic disturbances. Our analysis has unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01, affirming a gravitational pull of statistical significance in the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the ever-persistent presence of telemarketers in South Dakota.
As we proceed, let us not forget that the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones may appear incongruous at first glance, but could it be that we are witnessing the intricate workings of an otherworldly mechanism? Our exploration endeavors to strike a chord of curiosity, inviting scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the unexpected cosmic connections that perpetually remind us of the boundless phenomena that inhabit the universe.
In the following sections, we will navigate through the observational data, statistical analyses, and the speculative dimensions of our findings, all the while keeping an eye on the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences and the terrestrial telemarketing melodic symphony. For in the vast expanse of space and in the realm of everyday annoyances, the unexpected connections we uncover may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The exploration of the interstellar tango between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the infiltration of telemarketers into the rolling plains of South Dakota has sparked both intrigue and amusement among researchers and enthusiasts alike. While the initial search for reputable scholarly works on this esoteric topic led us down a cosmic rabbit hole, we unearthed several publications that shed light on the unexpected correlation at hand.

Smith and Doe (2015) delved into the gravitational influences of outer planets on earthly phenomena, albeit with a focus on meteorological anomalies rather than the celestial-terrestrial telemarketing nexus. Nevertheless, their work prompted us to consider the broader cosmic forces at play – and the potential for Uranus to exert its subtle yet unyielding influence on the telemarketing landscape.

In their seminal work, "Planetary Gravitation: Unseen Forces and Unforeseen Consequences," they discussed the far-reaching implications of planetary gravitational pulls on earthly occurrences, cautioning against the dismissal of seemingly whimsical connections. Their insights, while gravity-centric, sparked a cosmic curiosity that propels our own investigation into the orbit of Uranus and the orbit of telemarketers within South Dakota.

Jones (2018) mirrored our quest for unexpected correlations in her exploration of regional variations in telecommunication patterns, although her focus was primarily on the impact of technological advancements rather than celestial perturbations. It was under her guidance that we expanded our field of view to encompass the broader socio-telephonic landscape, recognizing the potential for celestial distances to intersect with Earth-bound nuisances.

Shifting our gaze to published works beyond the realm of scholarly research, we delved into non-fictional literature that traversed the domains of celestial mechanics, communication dynamics, and the quirky idiosyncrasies of the human experience. Admittedly, our pursuit led us down paths both enlightening and entertaining.

"The Planets" by Dava Sobel (2005) offered an expository journey through the cosmic tapestry of our solar system, yet regrettably lacked a chapter on Uranus that could have provided further astronomical insights (and perhaps an offhand reference to celestial telemarketing troubles).

"Telemarketing for Dummies" by Dirk Zeller (2019) provided practical guidance on the art of telephonic salesmanship, though its terrestrial focus neglected to acknowledge the potential interplanetary influences that may permeate the telemarketing domain.

As our literary odyssey veered into the realm of fiction, we encountered unexpected parallels that teased our cosmic interconnections and terrestrially tantalizing threads.

"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams (1979) regaled us with a tongue-in-cheek portrayal of interstellar travel and cosmic happenstance, tempting us to ponder the celestial absurdities that may intertwine with our earthly experiences – cosmic telemarketing misadventures notwithstanding.

"Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (1990) unfurled a comedic tapestry of angelic interventions and apocalyptic absurdities, reminding us that even grand cosmic schemes may inadvertently foist telemarketing upon unsuspecting denizens of South Dakota.

In our quest for unexpected sources of inspiration, we also found ourselves drawn to board games with tangential relevance to our study. "Twilight Struggle" and its portrayal of global maneuvering sparked contemplation on the telephonic tug-of-war that may – metaphorically and cosmically – reverberate across the plains of South Dakota.

As we traverse the galaxy of academic inquiry and whimsical wonder, our exploration of the celestial-telemarketing correlation remains steadfast, guided by the wry acknowledgment that the grand cosmic dance may indeed veil unexpected connections – some of which may manifest as persistent, yet faintly celestial, ringing telephones.

In the subsequent sections, we will navigate the empirical data amassed from our celestial and terrestrial realms, engrossed by the cosmic ballet and the terrestrial telemarketing symphony that we dare to unravel. For in the enigmatic dance between Uranus and Earth lies a cosmic comedy awaiting discovery.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The intersection of celestial mechanics and terrestrial nuisances has long been a subject of enduring fascination and lighthearted speculation. In this paper, we suspend disbelief and embark on a cosmic journey to examine the unexpected correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the undeniably lovely state of South Dakota. It is an inquiry that traverses the gravity of astronomical phenomena and the gravity of incessantly ringing telephones – a field of research that one might say is truly "out of this world."
The impetus for this investigation arises from a blend of scientific curiosity and a touch of whimsy. While the statistical relationship between the two seemingly disparate variables may at first glimpse appear as a whimsical cosmic dance, the robustness of the correlation coefficient and its associated significance level beckon us to delve deeper into the cosmic comedy of errors that is the human experience.
Now, before the celestial puns and terrestrial whimsy take flight, it is paramount to outline the gravity of our research inquiry. The data we have assembled from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics encompass the years 2003 to 2021, encapsulating a period of cosmic perspectives and perhaps cosmic disturbances. Our analysis has unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01, affirming a gravitational pull of statistical significance in the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the ever-persistent presence of telemarketers in South Dakota.
As we proceed, let us not forget that the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones may appear incongruous at first glance, but could it be that we are witnessing the intricate workings of an otherworldly mechanism? Our exploration endeavors to strike a chord of curiosity, inviting scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the unexpected cosmic connections that perpetually remind us of the boundless phenomena that inhabit the universe.
In the following sections, we will navigate through the observational data, statistical analyses, and the speculative dimensions of our findings, all the while keeping an eye on the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences and the terrestrial telemarketing melodic symphony. For in the vast expanse of space and in the realm of everyday annoyances, the unexpected connections we uncover may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the enigmatic correlation between the interplanetary distance and the terrestrial telemarketing phenomenon, our research team embarked on a multifaceted journey encompassing data collection, statistical analyses, and a touch of celestial whimsy. But first, let's telescope into the data collection process.

Data Collection:
Our data collection for this study primarily relied on information from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics. The Astropy database provided precise calculations of the distance between Uranus and Earth, ensuring that our investigation maintained a firm astronomical footing. We also delved into the Bureau of Labor Statistics to grasp the ever-fluctuating landscape of telemarketing employment in the charming state of South Dakota. We collected data spanning from 2003 to 2021, capturing a cosmic chronology that spanned moments of celestial harmony and, dare we say, moments of cosmic disruption.

Statistical Analyses:
After assembling this celestial-terrestrial tapestry, we subjected the data to rigorous statistical analyses, carefully crafting our methodology to encapsulate the intricate dance of numbers and the perhaps more whimsical dance of cosmic phenomena. We employed complex statistical models, leveraging the power of regression analysis, correlation coefficients, and p-values to discern meaningful patterns within the data. Like intrepid cosmic voyagers, we sought to navigate through the statistical warp and weft, uncovering the threads that tethered Uranus to the terrestrial telemarketing stratosphere.

It is worth noting that our statistical analyses were conducted with utmost gravity - pun fully intended - ensuring that our findings were not a mere play of chance, but rather a purposeful exploration of the unexpected connections that may linger in the cosmic expanse.

Speculative Dimensions:
While rooted in the scientific rigor of statistical analyses, our exploration did not shy away from embracing the speculative dimensions of cosmic coincidences and unexpected correlations. As we contemplated the alignment of Uranus and Earth alongside the ever-ubiquitous presence of telemarketers in South Dakota, we dared to venture into the cosmic unknown, all the while nurturing a healthy sense of celestial humor.

In essence, our methodology was an interstellar blend of meticulous data curation, statistical wizardry, and a touch of cosmic whimsy. As we navigated this cosmic confluence, we remained steadfast in our commitment to unveiling the unexpected and inviting the scholarly and curious minds to join us in pondering a universe where the celestial and mundane converge in mysterious harmony.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8672863, r-squared of 0.7521855, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The intersection of celestial mechanics and terrestrial nuisances has long been a subject of enduring fascination and lighthearted speculation. In this paper, we suspend disbelief and embark on a cosmic journey to examine the unexpected correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the undeniably lovely state of South Dakota. It is an inquiry that traverses the gravity of astronomical phenomena and the gravity of incessantly ringing telephones – a field of research that one might say is truly "out of this world."
The impetus for this investigation arises from a blend of scientific curiosity and a touch of whimsy. While the statistical relationship between the two seemingly disparate variables may at first glimpse appear as a whimsical cosmic dance, the robustness of the correlation coefficient and its associated significance level beckon us to delve deeper into the cosmic comedy of errors that is the human experience.
Now, before the celestial puns and terrestrial whimsy take flight, it is paramount to outline the gravity of our research inquiry. The data we have assembled from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics encompass the years 2003 to 2021, encapsulating a period of cosmic perspectives and perhaps cosmic disturbances. Our analysis has unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01, affirming a gravitational pull of statistical significance in the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the ever-persistent presence of telemarketers in South Dakota.
As we proceed, let us not forget that the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones may appear incongruous at first glance, but could it be that we are witnessing the intricate workings of an otherworldly mechanism? Our exploration endeavors to strike a chord of curiosity, inviting scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the unexpected cosmic connections that perpetually remind us of the boundless phenomena that inhabit the universe.
In the following sections, we will navigate through the observational data, statistical analyses, and the speculative dimensions of our findings, all the while keeping an eye on the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences and the terrestrial telemarketing melodic symphony. For in the vast expanse of space and in the realm of everyday annoyances, the unexpected connections we uncover may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our analysis of the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota yields an intriguing discovery that may shake the very foundation of our understanding of cosmic influences on earthly phenomena. The correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 indicates a notably strong positive relationship between these two variables. This finding was supported by an r-squared value of 0.7521855, suggesting that approximately 75.2% of the variance in the number of telemarketers in South Dakota can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Earth.

The statistical significance of our findings is underscored by the p-value, which was found to be less than 0.01, providing compelling evidence in support of the correlation. Our figure (Fig. 1) illustrates the strong positive relationship between the distance between Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota, further reinforcing the robustness of our findings.

The unexpected association uncovered in our study challenges traditional paradigms and presents an opportunity for further investigation into the cosmic interplay affecting earthly nuisances. While the exact mechanisms behind this correlation remain enigmatic, the statistical strength of the relationship cannot be disregarded.

These results not only provoke delightful speculation but also invite serious contemplation of the cosmic forces that may influence life on Earth in unexpected ways. As we marvel at the mirthful mysteries of the universe, our research urges further exploration into the whimsical and thought-provoking interconnections between celestial motions and human enterprises.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The exploration of the interstellar tango between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the infiltration of telemarketers into the rolling plains of South Dakota has sparked both intrigue and amusement among researchers and enthusiasts alike. While the initial search for reputable scholarly works on this esoteric topic led us down a cosmic rabbit hole, we unearthed several publications that shed light on the unexpected correlation at hand.
Smith and Doe (2015) delved into the gravitational influences of outer planets on earthly phenomena, albeit with a focus on meteorological anomalies rather than the celestial-terrestrial telemarketing nexus. Nevertheless, their work prompted us to consider the broader cosmic forces at play – and the potential for Uranus to exert its subtle yet unyielding influence on the telemarketing landscape.
In their seminal work, "Planetary Gravitation: Unseen Forces and Unforeseen Consequences," they discussed the far-reaching implications of planetary gravitational pulls on earthly occurrences, cautioning against the dismissal of seemingly whimsical connections. Their insights, while gravity-centric, sparked a cosmic curiosity that propels our own investigation into the orbit of Uranus and the orbit of telemarketers within South Dakota.
Jones (2018) mirrored our quest for unexpected correlations in her exploration of regional variations in telecommunication patterns, although her focus was primarily on the impact of technological advancements rather than celestial perturbations. It was under her guidance that we expanded our field of view to encompass the broader socio-telephonic landscape, recognizing the potential for celestial distances to intersect with Earth-bound nuisances.
Shifting our gaze to published works beyond the realm of scholarly research, we delved into non-fictional literature that traversed the domains of celestial mechanics, communication dynamics, and the quirky idiosyncrasies of the human experience. Admittedly, our pursuit led us down paths both enlightening and entertaining.
"The Planets" by Dava Sobel (2005) offered an expository journey through the cosmic tapestry of our solar system, yet regrettably lacked a chapter on Uranus that could have provided further astronomical insights (and perhaps an offhand reference to celestial telemarketing troubles).
"Telemarketing for Dummies" by Dirk Zeller (2019) provided practical guidance on the art of telephonic salesmanship, though its terrestrial focus neglected to acknowledge the potential interplanetary influences that may permeate the telemarketing domain.
As our literary odyssey veered into the realm of fiction, we encountered unexpected parallels that teased our cosmic interconnections and terrestrially tantalizing threads.
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams (1979) regaled us with a tongue-in-cheek portrayal of interstellar travel and cosmic happenstance, tempting us to ponder the celestial absurdities that may intertwine with our earthly experiences – cosmic telemarketing misadventures notwithstanding.
"Good Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett (1990) unfurled a comedic tapestry of angelic interventions and apocalyptic absurdities, reminding us that even grand cosmic schemes may inadvertently foist telemarketing upon unsuspecting denizens of South Dakota.
In our quest for unexpected sources of inspiration, we also found ourselves drawn to board games with tangential relevance to our study. "Twilight Struggle" and its portrayal of global maneuvering sparked contemplation on the telephonic tug-of-war that may – metaphorically and cosmically – reverberate across the plains of South Dakota.
As we traverse the galaxy of academic inquiry and whimsical wonder, our exploration of the celestial-telemarketing correlation remains steadfast, guided by the wry acknowledgment that the grand cosmic dance may indeed veil unexpected connections – some of which may manifest as persistent, yet faintly celestial, ringing telephones.
In the subsequent sections, we will navigate the empirical data amassed from our celestial and terrestrial realms, engrossed by the cosmic ballet and the terrestrial telemarketing symphony that we dare to unravel. For in the enigmatic dance between Uranus and Earth lies a cosmic comedy awaiting discovery.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota yields an intriguing discovery that may shake the very foundation of our understanding of cosmic influences on earthly phenomena. The correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 indicates a notably strong positive relationship between these two variables. This finding was supported by an r-squared value of 0.7521855, suggesting that approximately 75.2% of the variance in the number of telemarketers in South Dakota can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Earth.
The statistical significance of our findings is underscored by the p-value, which was found to be less than 0.01, providing compelling evidence in support of the correlation. Our figure (Fig. 1) illustrates the strong positive relationship between the distance between Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota, further reinforcing the robustness of our findings.
The unexpected association uncovered in our study challenges traditional paradigms and presents an opportunity for further investigation into the cosmic interplay affecting earthly nuisances. While the exact mechanisms behind this correlation remain enigmatic, the statistical strength of the relationship cannot be disregarded.
These results not only provoke delightful speculation but also invite serious contemplation of the cosmic forces that may influence life on Earth in unexpected ways. As we marvel at the mirthful mysteries of the universe, our research urges further exploration into the whimsical and thought-provoking interconnections between celestial motions and human enterprises.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The remarkable correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in South Dakota has left us astounded, albeit with a lighthearted twinkle in our eye. While the inherent humor in connecting celestial bodies with earthly nuisances cannot be denied, our findings lend empirical backing to the previously quizzical notions. Our results echo the cautionary admonitions of Smith and Doe regarding the unforeseen consequences of planetary gravitational pulls, albeit with a celestial twist that encompasses the incessant ringing of telephones rather than meteorological anomalies.

Furthermore, our endeavor aligns with Jones's exploration of unexpected correlations in telecommunication patterns, albeit in a manner that straddles the terrestrial and cosmic arenas. Just as "The Planets" regrettably omitted an in-depth exposition on Uranus, our research endeavors to fill this cosmic lacuna, albeit with a touch of whimsy and statistical rigor. Similarly, "Telemarketing for Dummies" may have overlooked the interplanetary dimensions of telephonic salesmanship, but our study endeavors to bring forth the far-reaching tentacles of Uranian influence that clandestinely intertwine with terrestrial telemarketing strategies.

In a nod to the literary musings of Adams and Gaiman & Pratchett, our study stands as a testament to the potential for the cosmic and the comical to intersect in unexpected ways, leaving one to ponder the cosmic absurdities that may underpin our terrestrial endeavours. "Twilight Struggle," with its geopolitical maneuvering, serves as a metaphorical parallel to the wielding of cosmic forces that may sway the proliferation of telemarketers across the plains of South Dakota.

Our findings not only corroborate the cosmic whimsy hinted at in these gothic literatures and board games, but also offer a statistically robust foundation for the exploration of the celestial-telemarketing correlation. The statistically significant correlation coefficient, coupled with the strong explanatory power of the r-squared value, dispels any cynicism regarding the interstellar antics at hand. Our research charts a pathway for both amusement and earnest inquiry into the cosmic ballet that may underlie the terrestrial telemarketing symphony.

As we navigate this celestial and terrestrial interplay, our study lays bare a correlation that begs to be reckoned with, infusing a wry sense of cosmic humor into the empirical realm of scholarly inquiry. The mirthful mysteries that underpin our universe, tucked within the jest and delight, invite scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones that may – quite cosmically – echo across the timeless plains of South Dakota.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Earth and The number of telemarketers in South Dakota. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.

While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.

As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The intersection of celestial mechanics and terrestrial nuisances has long been a subject of enduring fascination and lighthearted speculation. In this paper, we suspend disbelief and embark on a cosmic journey to examine the unexpected correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the undeniably lovely state of South Dakota. It is an inquiry that traverses the gravity of astronomical phenomena and the gravity of incessantly ringing telephones – a field of research that one might say is truly "out of this world."
The impetus for this investigation arises from a blend of scientific curiosity and a touch of whimsy. While the statistical relationship between the two seemingly disparate variables may at first glimpse appear as a whimsical cosmic dance, the robustness of the correlation coefficient and its associated significance level beckon us to delve deeper into the cosmic comedy of errors that is the human experience.
Now, before the celestial puns and terrestrial whimsy take flight, it is paramount to outline the gravity of our research inquiry. The data we have assembled from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics encompass the years 2003 to 2021, encapsulating a period of cosmic perspectives and perhaps cosmic disturbances. Our analysis has unearthed an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01, affirming a gravitational pull of statistical significance in the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the ever-persistent presence of telemarketers in South Dakota.
As we proceed, let us not forget that the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones may appear incongruous at first glance, but could it be that we are witnessing the intricate workings of an otherworldly mechanism? Our exploration endeavors to strike a chord of curiosity, inviting scholars and enthusiasts to contemplate the unexpected cosmic connections that perpetually remind us of the boundless phenomena that inhabit the universe.
In the following sections, we will navigate through the observational data, statistical analyses, and the speculative dimensions of our findings, all the while keeping an eye on the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences and the terrestrial telemarketing melodic symphony. For in the vast expanse of space and in the realm of everyday annoyances, the unexpected connections we uncover may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota yields an intriguing discovery that may shake the very foundation of our understanding of cosmic influences on earthly phenomena. The correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 indicates a notably strong positive relationship between these two variables. This finding was supported by an r-squared value of 0.7521855, suggesting that approximately 75.2% of the variance in the number of telemarketers in South Dakota can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Earth.
The statistical significance of our findings is underscored by the p-value, which was found to be less than 0.01, providing compelling evidence in support of the correlation. Our figure (Fig. 1) illustrates the strong positive relationship between the distance between Uranus and Earth and the number of telemarketers in South Dakota, further reinforcing the robustness of our findings.
The unexpected association uncovered in our study challenges traditional paradigms and presents an opportunity for further investigation into the cosmic interplay affecting earthly nuisances. While the exact mechanisms behind this correlation remain enigmatic, the statistical strength of the relationship cannot be disregarded.
These results not only provoke delightful speculation but also invite serious contemplation of the cosmic forces that may influence life on Earth in unexpected ways. As we marvel at the mirthful mysteries of the universe, our research urges further exploration into the whimsical and thought-provoking interconnections between celestial motions and human enterprises.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research has unveiled an enticing correlation between the separation of Uranus and Earth and the prevalence of telemarketers in South Dakota. The statistically robust relationship, as evidenced by the correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 and the p-value of less than 0.01, serves to remind us of the gravitational pull of statistical significance in the realm of cosmic coincidence and earthly nuisances. Our findings shed light on a cosmic linkage that, despite its whimsical nature, demands attentive consideration.

The interplay of celestial bodies and terrestrial annoyances unveils a symphony of unexpected connections that may just leave us starry-eyed and dialing for more, quite literally. While our research pays homage to the unanticipated dance of planetary alignments and persistent ringing telephones, it also invites us to ponder the serendipitous encounters that await us in the cosmos.

As we contemplate the grand comedy of cosmic coincidences, let us not overlook the practical implications of our findings. Perhaps the gravitational forces at play extend beyond planetary orbits and gravitational waves and manifest themselves in the perennial frustrations of unwanted phone calls. The depth of this correlation beckons for further examination, though it may leave us treading on the cosmic and comical alike.

In light of our findings, we assert that no more research is needed in this area. We have, quite literally, reached astronomical heights in uncovering a correlation that is truly "out of this world."


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Unconventional Planetary Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Stellar Planetary Research Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Out of This World Connections: Exploring the Correlation Between the Distance between Uranus and Earth and the Number of Telemarketers in South Dakota with an abstract of In the intriguing realm of astro-telemarketing dynamics, this research delves into the unexpected correlation between the celestial separation of Uranus and Earth and the proliferation of telemarketers in the picturesque state of South Dakota. Drawing upon data painstakingly gathered and analyzed from the Astropy database and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our study uncovers an astonishing correlation coefficient of 0.8672863 with a significance level of p < 0.01 from the years 2003 to 2021.
While our findings may initially appear as mere cosmic happenstance, the statistical significance cannot be dismissed. Not only do we illuminate the intricate link between celestial bodies and earthly nuisances, but we also venture into a sphere of inquiry that challenges conventional wisdom. Could it be that the gravitational pull of Uranus exerts an unforeseen influence on the telemarketing force in South Dakota? Our study opens the door to a cosmos of possibilities, inviting scholars and enthusiasts alike to contemplate the cosmic symphony of planetary alignments and the incessant ring of telephones.
As we gaze towards the immeasurable depths of space, our research endeavors to spark curiosity, inspire awe, and perhaps give a whimsical wink to the interstellar comedy of errors that is the human experience.

ChatGPT:

telemarketers, telemarketing, Uranus distance from Earth, celestial correlation, South Dakota, Astropy database, Bureau of Labor Statistics, correlation coefficient, statistical significance, gravitational pull, planetary alignments, cosmic symphony, interstellar comedy.

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Uranus and Earth
Detailed data title: The average distance between Uranus and Earth as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Uranus and Earth

The number of telemarketers in South Dakota
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of telemarketers in South Dakota
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of telemarketers in South Dakota

Correlation r = 0.8672863 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7521855 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 75.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of telemarketers in South Dakota) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Uranus and Earth) over the 19 years from 2003 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.5E-6. 0.0000015310419533878560000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.87 in 0.00015% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 653,150 random variables You don't actually need 653 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 18 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 18 because we have two variables measured over a period of 19 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.68, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
2003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
The distance between Uranus and Earth (Planetary distance (AU))20.02220.04420.06620.082820.095520.101420.106620.104220.096320.080220.064220.040920.013519.979619.948319.911419.871719.826219.7833
The number of telemarketers in South Dakota (Telemarketers)92010408407508408301120910107094094010001020104058028017050160




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Confounding variable: 2020 is particularly different from the other years on this graph. Confounding variables (like global pandemics) will cause two variables to look connected when in fact a "sneaky third" variable is influencing both of them behind the scenes.
  5. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([20.022,20.044,20.066,20.0828,20.0955,20.1014,20.1066,20.1042,20.0963,20.0802,20.0642,20.0409,20.0135,19.9796,19.9483,19.9114,19.8717,19.8262,19.7833,])
array_2 = np.array([920,1040,840,750,840,830,1120,910,1070,940,940,1000,1020,1040,580,280,170,50,160,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Uranus and Earth"
array_2_name = "The number of telemarketers in South Dakota"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 3431 · Black Variable ID: 1943 · Red Variable ID: 14307
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