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Spurious correlation #3,010 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Robberies in South Carolina.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

A lactose-intolerant master thief was finally able to lay off the dairy, leading to a decrease in his criminal activities. Without the discomfort of dairy consumption, he found inner peace and gave up his life of crime, leading to a overall decrease in robberies in South Carolina.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s depicting a bustling office in South Carolina. The scene shows a slightly dilapidated refrigerator with a few lonely cartons of milk and boxes of cereal, signifying reduced consumption. People in the office are depicted with relieved expressions, and the overall atmosphere reflects a decrease in tension and frustration. The visual should emphasize the emptiness of the refrigerator against the bustling office backdrop, subtly implying the decline in incidents of theft and overall crime in South Carolina. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Pop art A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s Macabre Cyber folk Scalar art
ChatGPT: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina, in the following situation: Because decreased milk consumption led to fewer people buying cereal, which meant fewer people stealing their coworkers' milk in the office fridge, resulting in a decrease in petty theft and ultimately robberries in South Carolina.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a bustling office in South Carolina, the refrigerator once filled with cartons of milk and boxes of cereal now sits mostly empty. The milk consumption has decreased, leading to fewer people buying cereal and fewer incidents of co-workers stealing milk in frustration. As a result, the once frequent petty thefts have dramatically decreased, and the number of robberies in South Carolina has also seen a significant decline.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s ] and depicting this scene: In a bustling office in South Carolina, the refrigerator once filled with cartons of milk and boxes of cereal now sits mostly empty. The milk consumption has decreased, leading to fewer people buying cereal and fewer incidents of co-workers stealing milk in frustration. As a result, the once frequent petty thefts have dramatically decreased, and the number of robberies in South Carolina has also seen a significant decline. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s depicting a bustling office in South Carolina. The scene shows a slightly dilapidated refrigerator with a few lonely cartons of milk and boxes of cereal, signifying reduced consumption. People in the office are depicted with relieved expressions, and the overall atmosphere reflects a decrease in tension and frustration. The visual should emphasize the emptiness of the refrigerator against the bustling office backdrop, subtly implying the decline in incidents of theft and overall crime in South Carolina.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Robberies in South Carolina to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

The International Journal of Bovine Studies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, make it sound serious.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9594112 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

When one thinks of South Carolina, the mind may conjure images of sprawling marshlands, palmetto trees swaying in the balmy breeze, and the sweet sounds of jazz permeating the air. However, the "Palmetto State" has also spurred curiosity in the world of academia with its curious relationship between milk consumption and robberies. In the annals of criminology and nutrition studies, few topics have sparked visions of caper-chasing cows or daring dairy-fueled heists. Yet, it is precisely this enigmatic link that we endeavor to unravel in this research endeavor.

The aim of this study is not merely to milk the data for correlations but to wholeheartedly engage in an in-depth exploration of the possible relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. If one were to peruse the literature, they may find themselves floundering in a sea of skepticism, as the very notion of milk and robberies being intertwined may come across as utterly ludicrous. However, as we embark upon this expedition through the statistical landscape of South Carolina, we urge the reader to approach the burgeoning evidence with an open mind and a lactose-tolerant sense of humor.

The intriguing findings unveiled in the abstract prompted us to delve deeper into the potential mechanisms underlying this association. Could there be a curdled connection between calcium-rich beverages and criminal behavior? Or perhaps, unpasteurized persuasions at play? Unraveling the intricacies of such an unusual correlation could potentially enrich our understanding of human behavior and the bizarre links that permeate our everyday lives. As we dive into this concoction of statistical analysis and tantalizing titbits, we invite the reader to join us in a journey that promises to be both enlightening and undoubtedly, a tad bit cheesy.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then devolve ever further, and mention something completely ridiculous, like you conducted literature review by reading CVS receipts.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
When one thinks of South Carolina, the mind may conjure images of sprawling marshlands, palmetto trees swaying in the balmy breeze, and the sweet sounds of jazz permeating the air. However, the "Palmetto State" has also spurred curiosity in the world of academia with its curious relationship between milk consumption and robberies. In the annals of criminology and nutrition studies, few topics have sparked visions of caper-chasing cows or daring dairy-fueled heists. Yet, it is precisely this enigmatic link that we endeavor to unravel in this research endeavor.
The aim of this study is not merely to milk the data for correlations but to wholeheartedly engage in an in-depth exploration of the possible relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. If one were to peruse the literature, they may find themselves floundering in a sea of skepticism, as the very notion of milk and robberies being intertwined may come across as utterly ludicrous. However, as we embark upon this expedition through the statistical landscape of South Carolina, we urge the reader to approach the burgeoning evidence with an open mind and a lactose-tolerant sense of humor.
The intriguing findings unveiled in the abstract prompted us to delve deeper into the potential mechanisms underlying this association. Could there be a curdled connection between calcium-rich beverages and criminal behavior? Or perhaps, unpasteurized persuasions at play? Unraveling the intricacies of such an unusual correlation could potentially enrich our understanding of human behavior and the bizarre links that permeate our everyday lives. As we dive into this concoction of statistical analysis and tantalizing titbits, we invite the reader to join us in a journey that promises to be both enlightening and undoubtedly, a tad bit cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

As we wade into the murky waters of the relationship between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina, we are met with a plethora of scholarly works that attempt to illuminate the absurd yet intriguing correlation.

Smith and Doe (2015) examined the impact of dairy products on criminal activity, positing that the abundance of milk may lead to a surge in rebellious behavior. Their findings suggested a potential connection, but the Dairy Association of America was quick to refute their claims, citing an "udderly ridiculous" premise.

Jones et al. (2018) delved into the societal implications of calcium-rich beverages, highlighting the potential influence of lactose-laden libations on deviant conduct. The study spurred a flurry of debates within academic circles, with some researchers dubbing it as the "milkshake conspiracy."

Turning to non-fiction books, "Got Milked?: The Great Dairy Deception and Why You'll Thrive Without Milk" by Alissa Hamilton presents a thought-provoking perspective on the dairy industry, offering insights that may shed light on the clandestine connection between milk consumption and criminal activities. In addition, "The Art of the Heist: Confessions of a Master Thief" by Myles J. Connor Jr. and Jenny Siler offers a gripping account of daring robberies, tangentially related to our topic of interest.

Further literature exploration led us to the unconventional yet enlightening "101 Uses for a Dead Cat" by Simon Bond, which provided unexpected insights into inconceivable connections that challenged our perceptions. Additionally, our thorough investigation involved perusing CVS receipts to unravel any potential hidden messages or cryptic codes that might hint at the elusive correlation. Alas, our quest for enlightenment in the most unexpected places may have yielded more confusion than clarity.

In summary, the deluge of research, both serious and whimsical in nature, has laid the groundwork for our foray into the perplexing realm of milk consumption and its alleged influence on criminal activities in South Carolina. As we navigate through this eclectic array of literature, we are reminded that sometimes, the key to unlocking bizarre mysteries lies in embracing the unconventional and the outlandish.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
When one thinks of South Carolina, the mind may conjure images of sprawling marshlands, palmetto trees swaying in the balmy breeze, and the sweet sounds of jazz permeating the air. However, the "Palmetto State" has also spurred curiosity in the world of academia with its curious relationship between milk consumption and robberies. In the annals of criminology and nutrition studies, few topics have sparked visions of caper-chasing cows or daring dairy-fueled heists. Yet, it is precisely this enigmatic link that we endeavor to unravel in this research endeavor.
The aim of this study is not merely to milk the data for correlations but to wholeheartedly engage in an in-depth exploration of the possible relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. If one were to peruse the literature, they may find themselves floundering in a sea of skepticism, as the very notion of milk and robberies being intertwined may come across as utterly ludicrous. However, as we embark upon this expedition through the statistical landscape of South Carolina, we urge the reader to approach the burgeoning evidence with an open mind and a lactose-tolerant sense of humor.
The intriguing findings unveiled in the abstract prompted us to delve deeper into the potential mechanisms underlying this association. Could there be a curdled connection between calcium-rich beverages and criminal behavior? Or perhaps, unpasteurized persuasions at play? Unraveling the intricacies of such an unusual correlation could potentially enrich our understanding of human behavior and the bizarre links that permeate our everyday lives. As we dive into this concoction of statistical analysis and tantalizing titbits, we invite the reader to join us in a journey that promises to be both enlightening and undoubtedly, a tad bit cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

The fundamental objective of this research endeavor was to scrutinize the peculiar association between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. The raw materials for this investigation were derived from reputable sources, predominantly the venerable repositories of data at the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services. We carefully sieved through the deluge of data, employing an intricate juxtaposition of statistical techniques and a discerning eye for correlations.

To commence this convoluted crusade, the initial step involved sourcing copious volumes of pertinent data related to milk consumption in South Carolina. We mercilessly combed through data on gallons of milk ingested, deemed it udderly intriguing, and relinquished the mundane task to the calculating capabilities of statistical software. Concurrently, our intrepid team also scoured the labyrinthine databases for crime statistics, fervently hunting for the number of reported robberies in the state.

Lest we indulge in an excess of drowsy details, suffice it to say that we employed robust statistical algorithms to elucidate the correlation of the voluminous milk intake and the nefarious activities therein. After an extensive tango with the data, we arrived at the precipice of enlightenment: the correlation coefficient tantalizingly hovered at 0.9594112, accompanied by an impressive p-value less than 0.01. This robust statistical analysis uncovered a compelling positive association, hinting that the voluminous consumption of the calcium-rich elixir is aligned with a surge in larcenous activities.

The correlation, though striking, triggers pensive pondering and prompts the notion of causality. To tackle this predicament, we immersed ourselves in the arcana of causation tests, teasing out potential causative factors with the finesse of a cat toying with a ball of yarn. Leveraging a multidimensional approach, we attempted to exonerate the innocent milk as a mere bystander in the realm of criminal misdeeds. We vigilantly interrogated our findings through a variety of validatory techniques, ensuring that our elucidations withstand the reproof of skeptical peers and the derisive guffaws of incredulous onlookers.

However, it is of utmost importance to acknowledge the limitations of this august endeavor. While we meticulously crafted our statistical spells and diligently combed through the data under the meticulous gaze of theory, the incessant deluge of confounding variables persisted as an intractable quandary. The pursuit of truth within the convoluted corridors of academia is often fraught with the unanticipated and the inexplicable. Nevertheless, we present our findings with measured enthusiasm and a tempered skepticism, imploring the scholarly community to engage in critical discourse and perhaps a touch of whimsy as they parse through the convoluted chronicles of milk and mischief in South Carolina.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9594112, r-squared of 0.9204698, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
When one thinks of South Carolina, the mind may conjure images of sprawling marshlands, palmetto trees swaying in the balmy breeze, and the sweet sounds of jazz permeating the air. However, the "Palmetto State" has also spurred curiosity in the world of academia with its curious relationship between milk consumption and robberies. In the annals of criminology and nutrition studies, few topics have sparked visions of caper-chasing cows or daring dairy-fueled heists. Yet, it is precisely this enigmatic link that we endeavor to unravel in this research endeavor.
The aim of this study is not merely to milk the data for correlations but to wholeheartedly engage in an in-depth exploration of the possible relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. If one were to peruse the literature, they may find themselves floundering in a sea of skepticism, as the very notion of milk and robberies being intertwined may come across as utterly ludicrous. However, as we embark upon this expedition through the statistical landscape of South Carolina, we urge the reader to approach the burgeoning evidence with an open mind and a lactose-tolerant sense of humor.
The intriguing findings unveiled in the abstract prompted us to delve deeper into the potential mechanisms underlying this association. Could there be a curdled connection between calcium-rich beverages and criminal behavior? Or perhaps, unpasteurized persuasions at play? Unraveling the intricacies of such an unusual correlation could potentially enrich our understanding of human behavior and the bizarre links that permeate our everyday lives. As we dive into this concoction of statistical analysis and tantalizing titbits, we invite the reader to join us in a journey that promises to be both enlightening and undoubtedly, a tad bit cheesy.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Upon conducting a rigorous analysis of the data, our research team uncovered a striking correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9594112 and the r-squared value of 0.9204698 indicate a robust and positive relationship between these seemingly incongruous variables. This relationship is further bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, underscoring the statistical significance of our findings. The scatterplot visualizing this correlation is provided in Figure 1.

It is noteworthy that this strong correlation persisted despite our initial skepticism and "udder" disbelief. The significant positive association between milk consumption and incidences of robberies prompts us to delve further into the potential mechanisms and underlying factors contributing to this unexpected relationship.

While these findings may indeed appear as mooo-rely coincidental at first glance, our data tells a different story. It compels us to ponder whether there's a creamy criminal underbelly beneath South Carolina's pastoral facade. As we mull over the implications of our discoveries, we are inclined to consider the influence of vitamin D, casein proteins, or even lactose intolerance on criminal behavior. The sheer magnitude of this correlation leads us to question whether the colloquial expression "crime doesn't pay, but milk does" has more merit than meets the eye.

In light of these results, it becomes evident that the interplay between milk consumption and criminal activity in South Carolina merits further exploration. While our findings may seem implausible at first sip, they stir up intriguing questions and a sense of intrigue that demands additional scrutiny. Thus, we memorialize the need for future research endeavors to unravel the curious tale of milk and mischief in the Palmetto State.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
As we wade into the murky waters of the relationship between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina, we are met with a plethora of scholarly works that attempt to illuminate the absurd yet intriguing correlation.
Smith and Doe (2015) examined the impact of dairy products on criminal activity, positing that the abundance of milk may lead to a surge in rebellious behavior. Their findings suggested a potential connection, but the Dairy Association of America was quick to refute their claims, citing an "udderly ridiculous" premise.
Jones et al. (2018) delved into the societal implications of calcium-rich beverages, highlighting the potential influence of lactose-laden libations on deviant conduct. The study spurred a flurry of debates within academic circles, with some researchers dubbing it as the "milkshake conspiracy."
Turning to non-fiction books, "Got Milked?: The Great Dairy Deception and Why You'll Thrive Without Milk" by Alissa Hamilton presents a thought-provoking perspective on the dairy industry, offering insights that may shed light on the clandestine connection between milk consumption and criminal activities. In addition, "The Art of the Heist: Confessions of a Master Thief" by Myles J. Connor Jr. and Jenny Siler offers a gripping account of daring robberies, tangentially related to our topic of interest.
Further literature exploration led us to the unconventional yet enlightening "101 Uses for a Dead Cat" by Simon Bond, which provided unexpected insights into inconceivable connections that challenged our perceptions. Additionally, our thorough investigation involved perusing CVS receipts to unravel any potential hidden messages or cryptic codes that might hint at the elusive correlation. Alas, our quest for enlightenment in the most unexpected places may have yielded more confusion than clarity.
In summary, the deluge of research, both serious and whimsical in nature, has laid the groundwork for our foray into the perplexing realm of milk consumption and its alleged influence on criminal activities in South Carolina. As we navigate through this eclectic array of literature, we are reminded that sometimes, the key to unlocking bizarre mysteries lies in embracing the unconventional and the outlandish.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon conducting a rigorous analysis of the data, our research team uncovered a striking correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9594112 and the r-squared value of 0.9204698 indicate a robust and positive relationship between these seemingly incongruous variables. This relationship is further bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, underscoring the statistical significance of our findings. The scatterplot visualizing this correlation is provided in Figure 1.
It is noteworthy that this strong correlation persisted despite our initial skepticism and "udder" disbelief. The significant positive association between milk consumption and incidences of robberies prompts us to delve further into the potential mechanisms and underlying factors contributing to this unexpected relationship.
While these findings may indeed appear as mooo-rely coincidental at first glance, our data tells a different story. It compels us to ponder whether there's a creamy criminal underbelly beneath South Carolina's pastoral facade. As we mull over the implications of our discoveries, we are inclined to consider the influence of vitamin D, casein proteins, or even lactose intolerance on criminal behavior. The sheer magnitude of this correlation leads us to question whether the colloquial expression "crime doesn't pay, but milk does" has more merit than meets the eye.
In light of these results, it becomes evident that the interplay between milk consumption and criminal activity in South Carolina merits further exploration. While our findings may seem implausible at first sip, they stir up intriguing questions and a sense of intrigue that demands additional scrutiny. Thus, we memorialize the need for future research endeavors to unravel the curious tale of milk and mischief in the Palmetto State.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our study have ignited a flurry of curiosity and speculation, much like a milk froth swirling in a latte. The robust correlation we uncovered between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina is undeniably captivating, raising eyebrows and prompting contemplation akin to the perplexing allure of a whodunit novel. Our findings align with prior research, including the delightfully named "milkshake conspiracy," which postulated that calcium-rich beverages could potentially bear influence on deviant conduct. It appears that the "udderly ridiculous" premise initially refuted by the Dairy Association of America may warrant a second glance amidst the sea of data.

Delving into the literature review unveiled the lighthearted yet thought-provoking perspectives that have long orbited around the enigmatic nexus between milk and mischief. The unconventional yet enlightening "101 Uses for a Dead Cat" by Simon Bond, though seemingly unrelated, has unexpectedly provided insights into such inconceivable connections that challenge our preconceived notions. We must acknowledge the paradoxically serious nature of research that may have initially seemed whimsical, akin to finding a hidden treasure map in a discarded pizza box.

The statistical robustness of our findings, with a correlation coefficient of 0.9594112 and a p-value below 0.01, shatters the perception that this correlation is merely a "moo-t" point in the grand scheme of criminal behavior. The "creamy criminal underbelly" we alluded to in the results section may not be as far-fetched as it initially seemed and could be as thick as clotted cream atop a scone.

Perhaps the saying "got milk, got mischief" might not be as far-fetched as previously thought. The tantalizing prospect of delving into the influence of vitamin D, casein proteins, or lactose intolerance on criminal behavior opens doors to further exploration. The entire notion that the "crime doesn't pay, but milk does" may indeed warrant further contemplation. Our findings may stir skepticism, but they urge us to reconsider whether we have been overlooking the creamy truth hiding in plain sight.

In conclusion, our study, though initially laced with skepticism, has churned out intriguing findings that beg to be considered with the seriousness they deserve. As we skim the surface of this enigma, we recognize the unexplored depths that await our inquiry. Future research endeavors stand poised to uncover the elusive yet compelling tale of "moo-d" swings and misdemeanors in South Carolina.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
When one thinks of South Carolina, the mind may conjure images of sprawling marshlands, palmetto trees swaying in the balmy breeze, and the sweet sounds of jazz permeating the air. However, the "Palmetto State" has also spurred curiosity in the world of academia with its curious relationship between milk consumption and robberies. In the annals of criminology and nutrition studies, few topics have sparked visions of caper-chasing cows or daring dairy-fueled heists. Yet, it is precisely this enigmatic link that we endeavor to unravel in this research endeavor.
The aim of this study is not merely to milk the data for correlations but to wholeheartedly engage in an in-depth exploration of the possible relationship between these seemingly disparate variables. If one were to peruse the literature, they may find themselves floundering in a sea of skepticism, as the very notion of milk and robberies being intertwined may come across as utterly ludicrous. However, as we embark upon this expedition through the statistical landscape of South Carolina, we urge the reader to approach the burgeoning evidence with an open mind and a lactose-tolerant sense of humor.
The intriguing findings unveiled in the abstract prompted us to delve deeper into the potential mechanisms underlying this association. Could there be a curdled connection between calcium-rich beverages and criminal behavior? Or perhaps, unpasteurized persuasions at play? Unraveling the intricacies of such an unusual correlation could potentially enrich our understanding of human behavior and the bizarre links that permeate our everyday lives. As we dive into this concoction of statistical analysis and tantalizing titbits, we invite the reader to join us in a journey that promises to be both enlightening and undoubtedly, a tad bit cheesy.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon conducting a rigorous analysis of the data, our research team uncovered a striking correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9594112 and the r-squared value of 0.9204698 indicate a robust and positive relationship between these seemingly incongruous variables. This relationship is further bolstered by a p-value of less than 0.01, underscoring the statistical significance of our findings. The scatterplot visualizing this correlation is provided in Figure 1.
It is noteworthy that this strong correlation persisted despite our initial skepticism and "udder" disbelief. The significant positive association between milk consumption and incidences of robberies prompts us to delve further into the potential mechanisms and underlying factors contributing to this unexpected relationship.
While these findings may indeed appear as mooo-rely coincidental at first glance, our data tells a different story. It compels us to ponder whether there's a creamy criminal underbelly beneath South Carolina's pastoral facade. As we mull over the implications of our discoveries, we are inclined to consider the influence of vitamin D, casein proteins, or even lactose intolerance on criminal behavior. The sheer magnitude of this correlation leads us to question whether the colloquial expression "crime doesn't pay, but milk does" has more merit than meets the eye.
In light of these results, it becomes evident that the interplay between milk consumption and criminal activity in South Carolina merits further exploration. While our findings may seem implausible at first sip, they stir up intriguing questions and a sense of intrigue that demands additional scrutiny. Thus, we memorialize the need for future research endeavors to unravel the curious tale of milk and mischief in the Palmetto State.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has shed light on the surprising association between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina. The markedly high correlation coefficient and the remarkably low p-value hint at a connection that is not to be dismissed as mere happenstance or "udder" coincidence. While it may seem utterly "cheesy" to draw a link between dairy products and criminal activities, our data speaks volumes about the potential intricacies at play beneath the surface.

The findings warrant a second look at the idyllic pastures and the potential undercurrents of dairy-rich indulgences in the state. While our study has indeed brought forth intriguing observations, we acknowledge the need for caution in interpreting the results. There might be other unexplored variables at play, and no udder explanation has been completely milked dry.

However, as we contemplate the "moo-ral" implications of our findings, it's clear that further research in this area may provide a wellspring of insights. The tale of milk and mischief in South Carolina is one that beckons for continued exploration, prompting us to wonder whether there truly is a calf-criminal connection waiting to be unraveled.

Nonetheless, it is with a sense of comical solemnity that we declare - "Got milk, got mischief," but we reckon that no more research is needed on this "moo-tter."


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The International Journal of Bovine Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Association for Dairy Deviance and Criminology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Moo-ves and Misdemeanors: Exploring the Milky Way of Milk Consumption and Robberies in South Carolina with an abstract of This study delves into the captivating correlation between milk consumption and robberies in South Carolina from 1990 to 2021. Using data gleaned from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, our research team unearthed a staggering correlation coefficient of 0.9594112, with p < 0.01. The findings suggest a strong positive relationship between the two variables, leading us to ponder the extent of the "dairy" influence on the occurrence of robberies. While the results may initially seem udderly preposterous, delving deeper into the data revealed compelling patterns that can't simply be brushed aside as mere coincidence. This exploration raises more questions than answers, leaving us to ponder if the saying "got milk, got mischief" might warrant further investigation.

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, robberies, South Carolina, correlation, USDA, FBI, dairy influence, correlation coefficient, crime statistics, milk consumption statistics, dairy products, crime correlation

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Robberies in South Carolina
Detailed data title: The robbery rate per 100,000 residents in South Carolina
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Robberies in South Carolina

Correlation r = 0.9594112 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.9204698 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 92% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Robberies in South Carolina) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.8E-18. 0.0000000000000000048369493010
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.96 in 4.8E-16% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 206,741,881,663,563,872 random variables You don't actually need 206 quadrillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.92, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Robberies in South Carolina (Robbery rate)152.4171.1170.6187.3186.1175.9172176.2154.9148.2155147.4140.7139.8130.3133.2136.6144.2147.2126.1108.299.195.583.183.280.782.177.470.764.559.849.7




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.
  5. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([152.4,171.1,170.6,187.3,186.1,175.9,172,176.2,154.9,148.2,155,147.4,140.7,139.8,130.3,133.2,136.6,144.2,147.2,126.1,108.2,99.1,95.5,83.1,83.2,80.7,82.1,77.4,70.7,64.5,59.8,49.7,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Robberies in South Carolina"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 3010 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20216
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