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Spurious correlation #2,557 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Mercury and the second variable is Points allowed by the Denver Broncos.  The chart goes from 1975 to 2023, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the gravitational pull between Uranus and Mercury weakened, it created an unstable cosmic energy field. This directly interfered with the Broncos' defensive capabilities, causing them to miss tackles, let receivers slip through coverage, and basically play like they were wearing anti-gravity boots. The result? More points allowed than a concession stand at a starship expo. It's a real astronomical anomaly for the Broncos!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [ Hyper-realistic ] Generate an image of a football stadium filled with cheering fans, the field containing the Denver Broncos' defensive players. Show the players visibly straining to maintain their formation as invisible gravitational forces, represented as distorted ripples in the air, create gaps in their defense around them. Depict the players in slow motion, with their movements appearing stretched and distorted, highlighting their struggle due to the distant influence of Mercury. The colors and textures should emphasize the hyper-realistic portrayal of the chaotic scene. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Scalar art Pop art Surrealism Hyper-realistic Brutalism
ChatGPT: Hyper-realistic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos, in the following situation: The gravitational pull from Uranus was disrupting the Broncos' defensive formation, creating gaps for the opposing team to exploit. Meanwhile, the distance from Mercury was affecting the Broncos' agility and reaction time on the field.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a football stadium, the Denver Broncos' defensive players are struggling to maintain their formation as invisible gravitational forces from Uranus create gaps in their defense. Simultaneously, the players seem to be moving in slow motion, their agility and reaction time hindered by the distant influence of Mercury.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Hyper-realistic ] and depicting this scene: In a football stadium, the Denver Broncos' defensive players are struggling to maintain their formation as invisible gravitational forces from Uranus create gaps in their defense. Simultaneously, the players seem to be moving in slow motion, their agility and reaction time hindered by the distant influence of Mercury. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [ Hyper-realistic ] Generate an image of a football stadium filled with cheering fans, the field containing the Denver Broncos' defensive players. Show the players visibly straining to maintain their formation as invisible gravitational forces, represented as distorted ripples in the air, create gaps in their defense around them. Depict the players in slow motion, with their movements appearing stretched and distorted, highlighting their struggle due to the distant influence of Mercury. The colors and textures should emphasize the hyper-realistic portrayal of the chaotic scene.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in The distance between Uranus and Mercury caused Points allowed by the Denver Broncos to increase.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field

The Journal of Intergalactic Sports Science

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from Caclculated using Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01 for 1975 to 2023.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The enchanting mysteries of the cosmos have long captivated human curiosity, inspiring countless investigations into the interplay of celestial bodies and earthly phenomena. In the realm of professional football, the pursuit of defensive dominance has been a perennial endeavor, with teams seeking to fortify their gridiron strongholds. However, in the midst of this quest for defensive prowess, a peculiar and somewhat comical notion emerged – that the distance between Uranus and Mercury, two distant denizens of our solar system, might somehow influence the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos.

As we embark on this cosmic journey of statistical inquiry, it is crucial to approach this seemingly whimsical correlation with steadfast scientific rigor, all the while staying grounded in the empirical traditions of academic investigation. Our research aims to unravel the celestial riddles that intersect with the rugged realities of football, with an analytical lens pointed toward the stars and the end zones alike.

The underlying rationale for this exploration rests on the premise that the cosmic ballet of planetary orbits may hold subtle sway over the fortunes of a football team's defense. While the notion might initially appear as fanciful as a fumble recovery by a troupe of celestial jesters, we must heed the aphorism “don't punt on a hypothesis until you've examined it from every angle.” With this in mind, we endeavored to scrutinize the potential link between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos on the gridiron.

In the grand tapestry of scientific inquiry, it is essential to marry intellectual whimsy with methodological discipline, as we navigate the cosmic playbook without losing sight of our earthly touchdown-scoring zeal. Therefore, in the spirit of scholarly inquiry and a touch of cosmic whimsy, this study presents a sophisticated statistical analysis of the connection between the celestial machinations of Uranus and Mercury and the defensive achievements of the Denver Broncos. Let us embark on this quest in pursuit of cosmic truth and perhaps a touch of astrological humor along the way.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The enchanting mysteries of the cosmos have long captivated human curiosity, inspiring countless investigations into the interplay of celestial bodies and earthly phenomena. In the realm of professional football, the pursuit of defensive dominance has been a perennial endeavor, with teams seeking to fortify their gridiron strongholds. However, in the midst of this quest for defensive prowess, a peculiar and somewhat comical notion emerged – that the distance between Uranus and Mercury, two distant denizens of our solar system, might somehow influence the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos.
As we embark on this cosmic journey of statistical inquiry, it is crucial to approach this seemingly whimsical correlation with steadfast scientific rigor, all the while staying grounded in the empirical traditions of academic investigation. Our research aims to unravel the celestial riddles that intersect with the rugged realities of football, with an analytical lens pointed toward the stars and the end zones alike.
The underlying rationale for this exploration rests on the premise that the cosmic ballet of planetary orbits may hold subtle sway over the fortunes of a football team's defense. While the notion might initially appear as fanciful as a fumble recovery by a troupe of celestial jesters, we must heed the aphorism “don't punt on a hypothesis until you've examined it from every angle.” With this in mind, we endeavored to scrutinize the potential link between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos on the gridiron.
In the grand tapestry of scientific inquiry, it is essential to marry intellectual whimsy with methodological discipline, as we navigate the cosmic playbook without losing sight of our earthly touchdown-scoring zeal. Therefore, in the spirit of scholarly inquiry and a touch of cosmic whimsy, this study presents a sophisticated statistical analysis of the connection between the celestial machinations of Uranus and Mercury and the defensive achievements of the Denver Broncos. Let us embark on this quest in pursuit of cosmic truth and perhaps a touch of astrological humor along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The extant literature within the realm of astronomy and sports analytics has traditionally focused on disparate themes, yet recent endeavors have sought to bridge the cosmic and terrestrial domains in novel and unexpected ways. While the intersection of planetary orbits and athletic performance might appear to be a celestial jest, a closer examination of existing literature reveals intriguing insights that beckon us to ponder the cosmic dance of Uranus and Mercury and its potential influence on the defensive fortitude of the Denver Broncos.

Smith et al. (2016) delved into the intricacies of planetary distances in "Celestial Mechanics," detailing the gravitational dynamics and orbital mechanics governing the celestial ballet within our solar system. While their work primarily centered on astrophysical principles, the nuanced interactions elucidated therein prompt contemplation of their potential reverberations in fields beyond astronomy.

Expanding our purview to include the realm of sports analytics, Doe (2018) examined the intricacies of defensive strategies in "Football by the Numbers." This treatise encompassed a comprehensive analysis of defensive metrics and patterns across various football franchises, lending insight into the multifaceted dynamics underpinning defensive efficacy on the field.

However, as we peer beyond the traditional confines of scholarly literature, a constellation of tangentially related works beckons our attention. "The Physics of Football" by Jones (2015) provided a comprehensive exploration of the physics underpinning the game, offering a lucid exposition on the collisions, trajectories, and forces at play within the realm of football. This work, while ostensibly anchored in physics, sets the stage for a multidisciplinary examination that intertwines planetary dynamics and defensive adversities on the gridiron.

Transitioning from non-fiction to the realm of speculative fiction, "The Cosmic Playbook: Adventures in Interstellar Football" by Stella Starlight (2020) presents a whimsical tale of extraterrestrial athletes embarking on gridiron escapades across the cosmos. While the narrative is firmly ensconced in the fantastical, its themes evoke a reflection on the potential interplay of celestial distances and terrestrial athletic endeavors.

In a bid to encapsulate a broader cultural milieu, it is prudent to acknowledge the potential influence of animated entertainment on our collective subconscious. The animated series "Captain Planetary and the Cosmic Protectors" introduced generations of viewers to the charismatic superhero squad tasked with safeguarding the cosmic order. While ostensibly tailored to a younger audience, the series permeated popular culture and contributed to a collective awareness of the celestial realm, albeit through a lens of animated whimsy.

Similarly, "The Jetsons" offered an imaginative portrayal of futuristic life, incorporating elements of cosmic exploration and interplanetary travel. While the series predominantly unfolded within the context of science fiction, its universe-building and exploratory themes resonate with the overarching spirit of cosmic inquiry that underpins our present expedition into the nexus of planetary distances and athletic endeavors.

As we traverse the spectrum from scholarly treatises to imaginative narratives and cultural imprints, it is imperative to imbue our exploration with a nuanced appreciation of the cosmic ballet that encircles our terrestrial existence. This interplay of empirical inquiry and whimsical contemplation paves the path for our analytical sojourn into the enigmatic connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed on the football field by the Denver Broncos.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com . You used data from 1975 to 2023

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The enchanting mysteries of the cosmos have long captivated human curiosity, inspiring countless investigations into the interplay of celestial bodies and earthly phenomena. In the realm of professional football, the pursuit of defensive dominance has been a perennial endeavor, with teams seeking to fortify their gridiron strongholds. However, in the midst of this quest for defensive prowess, a peculiar and somewhat comical notion emerged – that the distance between Uranus and Mercury, two distant denizens of our solar system, might somehow influence the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos.
As we embark on this cosmic journey of statistical inquiry, it is crucial to approach this seemingly whimsical correlation with steadfast scientific rigor, all the while staying grounded in the empirical traditions of academic investigation. Our research aims to unravel the celestial riddles that intersect with the rugged realities of football, with an analytical lens pointed toward the stars and the end zones alike.
The underlying rationale for this exploration rests on the premise that the cosmic ballet of planetary orbits may hold subtle sway over the fortunes of a football team's defense. While the notion might initially appear as fanciful as a fumble recovery by a troupe of celestial jesters, we must heed the aphorism “don't punt on a hypothesis until you've examined it from every angle.” With this in mind, we endeavored to scrutinize the potential link between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos on the gridiron.
In the grand tapestry of scientific inquiry, it is essential to marry intellectual whimsy with methodological discipline, as we navigate the cosmic playbook without losing sight of our earthly touchdown-scoring zeal. Therefore, in the spirit of scholarly inquiry and a touch of cosmic whimsy, this study presents a sophisticated statistical analysis of the connection between the celestial machinations of Uranus and Mercury and the defensive achievements of the Denver Broncos. Let us embark on this quest in pursuit of cosmic truth and perhaps a touch of astrological humor along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To embark on this whimsical yet rigorous exploration of the interconnected realms of planetary distances and defensive strategies on the football field, our research team employed a multi-faceted methodology that blended statistical analysis with a cosmic dash of curiosity. The data used in this study were obtained from a diverse array of sources, primarily drawing from the celestial vaults of Astropy and the earthly gridirons chronicled by Pro-Football-Reference.com.

The first step in our methodological odyssey entailed extracting historical data on the distance between Uranus and Mercury. To achieve this endeavor, we employed the interstellar toolkit provided by Astropy to calculate the precise spatial gaps between these two celestial bodies from the year 1975 to 2023. This involved intertwining astronomical equations with a sprinkle of cosmic awe and a dash of orbital epiphany, illuminating the celestial path traversed by the distant planetary wanderers.

Simultaneously, our researchers delved into the realm of professional football statistics, traversing the digitized turf of Pro-Football-Reference.com to harvest a cornucopia of data on the defensive performances of the Denver Broncos over the same time frame. The points allowed by the Broncos became our on-field proxy for defensive accomplishments, serving as the gridiron canvas upon which the celestial dance of planetary distances would be painted.

With the celestial and terrestrial datasets in hand, we donned our statistical helmets and stepped onto the cosmic gridiron of correlation analysis. Employing the time-tested tools of inferential statistics, we calculated the correlation coefficient – that elusive arbiter of statistical concordance – to unravel the potential relationship between the celestial distances and the Broncos' defensive acumen. The aroma of p-values filled the analytical air, as we scrutinized the statistical significance of our findings, using p < 0.01 as the yardstick to strike a balance between cosmic mischief and empirical robustness.

Through this methodological tapestry of interstellar calculations and gridiron statistics, our research team endeavored to tease apart the cosmic whisperings that might entwine with the defensive thunder of professional football, all the while keeping an eye on the celestial scoreboard to gauge the cosmic touchdowns from Uranus to Mercury.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com .

For the time period 1975 to 2023, you found a correlation 0.5696826, r-squared of 0.3245382, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The enchanting mysteries of the cosmos have long captivated human curiosity, inspiring countless investigations into the interplay of celestial bodies and earthly phenomena. In the realm of professional football, the pursuit of defensive dominance has been a perennial endeavor, with teams seeking to fortify their gridiron strongholds. However, in the midst of this quest for defensive prowess, a peculiar and somewhat comical notion emerged – that the distance between Uranus and Mercury, two distant denizens of our solar system, might somehow influence the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos.
As we embark on this cosmic journey of statistical inquiry, it is crucial to approach this seemingly whimsical correlation with steadfast scientific rigor, all the while staying grounded in the empirical traditions of academic investigation. Our research aims to unravel the celestial riddles that intersect with the rugged realities of football, with an analytical lens pointed toward the stars and the end zones alike.
The underlying rationale for this exploration rests on the premise that the cosmic ballet of planetary orbits may hold subtle sway over the fortunes of a football team's defense. While the notion might initially appear as fanciful as a fumble recovery by a troupe of celestial jesters, we must heed the aphorism “don't punt on a hypothesis until you've examined it from every angle.” With this in mind, we endeavored to scrutinize the potential link between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos on the gridiron.
In the grand tapestry of scientific inquiry, it is essential to marry intellectual whimsy with methodological discipline, as we navigate the cosmic playbook without losing sight of our earthly touchdown-scoring zeal. Therefore, in the spirit of scholarly inquiry and a touch of cosmic whimsy, this study presents a sophisticated statistical analysis of the connection between the celestial machinations of Uranus and Mercury and the defensive achievements of the Denver Broncos. Let us embark on this quest in pursuit of cosmic truth and perhaps a touch of astrological humor along the way.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis conducted on the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos has yielded intriguing insights. Our findings revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5696826, indicative of a moderately strong positive correlation. Additionally, the coefficient of determination (r-squared) stood at 0.3245382, implying that approximately 32.45% of the variance in points allowed by the Denver Broncos can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. Furthermore, the p-value being less than 0.01 suggests that the observed correlation is indeed statistically significant.

Fig. 1 showcases the noteworthy linear relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points conceded by the Denver Broncos. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trend, demonstrating the close association between these seemingly disparate realms of celestial distances and football defense. The plot captures the essence of our discovery, serving as a visual testament to the surprising interconnection between cosmic spacings and sporting outcomes.

It is important to note that while the correlation is significant, it does not imply causation. The proximity of Uranus and Mercury does not physically dictate the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos, and any such inference must be made with caution. Nonetheless, the statistical evidence presents a captivating avenue for further exploration into the cosmic influences – or mere cosmic coincidences – that may wink at us from the heavens, embellishing the competitive narratives unfolding on the football field.

The strength of the correlation prompts us to reflect on the humorous whimsy of the universe, where the celestial dance of planets possibly paints a subtle backdrop to the gridiron sagas of defensive struggle and triumph. As we unveil this engrossing correlation, we must also remain mindful of the boundaries of scientific inference and the playful mystique that often colors our human endeavors.

In conclusion, this analysis offers a thought-provoking glimpse into the colorful interplay of celestial mechanics and the defensive performances of a professional football team, inviting further scrutiny at the intersection of cosmic wonders and terrestrial contests. The implications of our findings beckon us to contemplate the boundless reaches of statistical inquiry, where the empirical and the ethereal intersect, urging us to ponder the cosmic gridiron from a scholarly yet whimsical perspective.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The extant literature within the realm of astronomy and sports analytics has traditionally focused on disparate themes, yet recent endeavors have sought to bridge the cosmic and terrestrial domains in novel and unexpected ways. While the intersection of planetary orbits and athletic performance might appear to be a celestial jest, a closer examination of existing literature reveals intriguing insights that beckon us to ponder the cosmic dance of Uranus and Mercury and its potential influence on the defensive fortitude of the Denver Broncos.
Smith et al. (2016) delved into the intricacies of planetary distances in "Celestial Mechanics," detailing the gravitational dynamics and orbital mechanics governing the celestial ballet within our solar system. While their work primarily centered on astrophysical principles, the nuanced interactions elucidated therein prompt contemplation of their potential reverberations in fields beyond astronomy.
Expanding our purview to include the realm of sports analytics, Doe (2018) examined the intricacies of defensive strategies in "Football by the Numbers." This treatise encompassed a comprehensive analysis of defensive metrics and patterns across various football franchises, lending insight into the multifaceted dynamics underpinning defensive efficacy on the field.
However, as we peer beyond the traditional confines of scholarly literature, a constellation of tangentially related works beckons our attention. "The Physics of Football" by Jones (2015) provided a comprehensive exploration of the physics underpinning the game, offering a lucid exposition on the collisions, trajectories, and forces at play within the realm of football. This work, while ostensibly anchored in physics, sets the stage for a multidisciplinary examination that intertwines planetary dynamics and defensive adversities on the gridiron.
Transitioning from non-fiction to the realm of speculative fiction, "The Cosmic Playbook: Adventures in Interstellar Football" by Stella Starlight (2020) presents a whimsical tale of extraterrestrial athletes embarking on gridiron escapades across the cosmos. While the narrative is firmly ensconced in the fantastical, its themes evoke a reflection on the potential interplay of celestial distances and terrestrial athletic endeavors.
In a bid to encapsulate a broader cultural milieu, it is prudent to acknowledge the potential influence of animated entertainment on our collective subconscious. The animated series "Captain Planetary and the Cosmic Protectors" introduced generations of viewers to the charismatic superhero squad tasked with safeguarding the cosmic order. While ostensibly tailored to a younger audience, the series permeated popular culture and contributed to a collective awareness of the celestial realm, albeit through a lens of animated whimsy.
Similarly, "The Jetsons" offered an imaginative portrayal of futuristic life, incorporating elements of cosmic exploration and interplanetary travel. While the series predominantly unfolded within the context of science fiction, its universe-building and exploratory themes resonate with the overarching spirit of cosmic inquiry that underpins our present expedition into the nexus of planetary distances and athletic endeavors.
As we traverse the spectrum from scholarly treatises to imaginative narratives and cultural imprints, it is imperative to imbue our exploration with a nuanced appreciation of the cosmic ballet that encircles our terrestrial existence. This interplay of empirical inquiry and whimsical contemplation paves the path for our analytical sojourn into the enigmatic connection between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed on the football field by the Denver Broncos.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis conducted on the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos has yielded intriguing insights. Our findings revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5696826, indicative of a moderately strong positive correlation. Additionally, the coefficient of determination (r-squared) stood at 0.3245382, implying that approximately 32.45% of the variance in points allowed by the Denver Broncos can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. Furthermore, the p-value being less than 0.01 suggests that the observed correlation is indeed statistically significant.
Fig. 1 showcases the noteworthy linear relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points conceded by the Denver Broncos. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trend, demonstrating the close association between these seemingly disparate realms of celestial distances and football defense. The plot captures the essence of our discovery, serving as a visual testament to the surprising interconnection between cosmic spacings and sporting outcomes.
It is important to note that while the correlation is significant, it does not imply causation. The proximity of Uranus and Mercury does not physically dictate the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos, and any such inference must be made with caution. Nonetheless, the statistical evidence presents a captivating avenue for further exploration into the cosmic influences – or mere cosmic coincidences – that may wink at us from the heavens, embellishing the competitive narratives unfolding on the football field.
The strength of the correlation prompts us to reflect on the humorous whimsy of the universe, where the celestial dance of planets possibly paints a subtle backdrop to the gridiron sagas of defensive struggle and triumph. As we unveil this engrossing correlation, we must also remain mindful of the boundaries of scientific inference and the playful mystique that often colors our human endeavors.
In conclusion, this analysis offers a thought-provoking glimpse into the colorful interplay of celestial mechanics and the defensive performances of a professional football team, inviting further scrutiny at the intersection of cosmic wonders and terrestrial contests. The implications of our findings beckon us to contemplate the boundless reaches of statistical inquiry, where the empirical and the ethereal intersect, urging us to ponder the cosmic gridiron from a scholarly yet whimsical perspective.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have unearthed an unexpected and whimsical relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the intrepid Denver Broncos. The existence of a statistically significant correlation sheds a novel light on the cosmic symphony that may besprinkle the gridiron realms of professional football defense.

The correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 reaffirms the intriguing tendency for the Broncos to concede fewer points when Uranus and Mercury cozy up in space. This alignment, albeit celestial in nature, seems to nod mischievously at the defensive performance of the Broncos on the football field. It is a celestial pas de deux that tangoes with our traditional notions of statistical predictability in the realm of sports analytics.

Our results echo the unexpected gaiety woven into the fabric of cosmic happenstance. While this correlation does not imply causation, it tantalizingly invites us to entertain the thought that perhaps planetary distances might playfully nudge the defensive strategies of the Denver Broncos. The universe seems to be in on the joke, enmeshing celestial whimsy into the statistical composure of defensive efficacy.

These surprising findings are bolstered by the prior research that dabbled in seemingly whimsical and fantastical connections. Smith et al.'s exploration of celestial mechanics inadvertently sets the stage for our cosmic contemplations, underscoring the mysterious interplay of orbital dynamics that might surreptitiously sway earthly phenomena. Furthermore, Stella Starlight's heartfelt forays into the cosmic playbook offer a whimsical yet prescient nudge toward the potential interplay of planetary alignments and terrestrial sports.

Unveiling the cosmic backdrop against which defensive battles unfold on the football field concurrently evokes a sense of wonder and amusement. The spirited dance of celestial orbs, while not dictating the defensive feats of a football team, playfully hints at an as-yet unfathomed connection. It beckons us to adopt a scholarly yet light-hearted posture that honors the lighthearted serendipity entwined with empirical inquiry.

As we navigate the uncharted celestial mirth, our study catalyzes a reimagining of the spheres that intersect to shape our terrestrial experiences. The statistical rigors underpinning our findings coax our scholarly pursuits to don a whimsical cloak, waltzing with cosmic jests and enigmatic disclosures. Together, we step into this ethereal and empirical dance, captivatingly reconciling the tangible and the ineffable in our quest for scholarly understanding.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The enchanting mysteries of the cosmos have long captivated human curiosity, inspiring countless investigations into the interplay of celestial bodies and earthly phenomena. In the realm of professional football, the pursuit of defensive dominance has been a perennial endeavor, with teams seeking to fortify their gridiron strongholds. However, in the midst of this quest for defensive prowess, a peculiar and somewhat comical notion emerged – that the distance between Uranus and Mercury, two distant denizens of our solar system, might somehow influence the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos.
As we embark on this cosmic journey of statistical inquiry, it is crucial to approach this seemingly whimsical correlation with steadfast scientific rigor, all the while staying grounded in the empirical traditions of academic investigation. Our research aims to unravel the celestial riddles that intersect with the rugged realities of football, with an analytical lens pointed toward the stars and the end zones alike.
The underlying rationale for this exploration rests on the premise that the cosmic ballet of planetary orbits may hold subtle sway over the fortunes of a football team's defense. While the notion might initially appear as fanciful as a fumble recovery by a troupe of celestial jesters, we must heed the aphorism “don't punt on a hypothesis until you've examined it from every angle.” With this in mind, we endeavored to scrutinize the potential link between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos on the gridiron.
In the grand tapestry of scientific inquiry, it is essential to marry intellectual whimsy with methodological discipline, as we navigate the cosmic playbook without losing sight of our earthly touchdown-scoring zeal. Therefore, in the spirit of scholarly inquiry and a touch of cosmic whimsy, this study presents a sophisticated statistical analysis of the connection between the celestial machinations of Uranus and Mercury and the defensive achievements of the Denver Broncos. Let us embark on this quest in pursuit of cosmic truth and perhaps a touch of astrological humor along the way.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis conducted on the relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos has yielded intriguing insights. Our findings revealed a correlation coefficient of 0.5696826, indicative of a moderately strong positive correlation. Additionally, the coefficient of determination (r-squared) stood at 0.3245382, implying that approximately 32.45% of the variance in points allowed by the Denver Broncos can be explained by the distance between Uranus and Mercury. Furthermore, the p-value being less than 0.01 suggests that the observed correlation is indeed statistically significant.
Fig. 1 showcases the noteworthy linear relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the points conceded by the Denver Broncos. The scatterplot depicts a compelling trend, demonstrating the close association between these seemingly disparate realms of celestial distances and football defense. The plot captures the essence of our discovery, serving as a visual testament to the surprising interconnection between cosmic spacings and sporting outcomes.
It is important to note that while the correlation is significant, it does not imply causation. The proximity of Uranus and Mercury does not physically dictate the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos, and any such inference must be made with caution. Nonetheless, the statistical evidence presents a captivating avenue for further exploration into the cosmic influences – or mere cosmic coincidences – that may wink at us from the heavens, embellishing the competitive narratives unfolding on the football field.
The strength of the correlation prompts us to reflect on the humorous whimsy of the universe, where the celestial dance of planets possibly paints a subtle backdrop to the gridiron sagas of defensive struggle and triumph. As we unveil this engrossing correlation, we must also remain mindful of the boundaries of scientific inference and the playful mystique that often colors our human endeavors.
In conclusion, this analysis offers a thought-provoking glimpse into the colorful interplay of celestial mechanics and the defensive performances of a professional football team, inviting further scrutiny at the intersection of cosmic wonders and terrestrial contests. The implications of our findings beckon us to contemplate the boundless reaches of statistical inquiry, where the empirical and the ethereal intersect, urging us to ponder the cosmic gridiron from a scholarly yet whimsical perspective.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In closing, our study has successfully unveiled a statistically significant correlation between the distance separating Uranus and Mercury and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos. While the relationship is fascinating, we must caution against attributing cosmic causation to the touchdowns and tackles on the football field. We must resist the temptation to dub Uranus and Mercury as the "guardians" of the Broncos' end zone, as such whimsical inclinations might lead us down a celestial rabbit hole better left unexplored. However, this correlation emphasizes the cosmic waltz of statistical serendipity and cosmic jest that are as captivating as a well-timed interception. It also prompts us to contemplate the cosmic ballet that may subtly tango with our terrestrial affairs, like a mischievous astral spectator at a football game. While the allure of cosmic whimsy is undeniable, we must resist the pull of overzealous astrological interpretations, for in the grand cosmic playbook, no touchdown is complete without a dose of statistical skepticism. We conclude that the cosmic arena of statistical inquiry offers no more insights into the celestial-athletic rapport of Uranus and Mercury and the Denver Broncos, leaving us to marvel at the frivolity of statistical correlations and the cosmic twinkle in the eye of academic inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Intergalactic Sports Science


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

Society for Interplanetary Sports Analytics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Are the Denver Broncos Playing Defense... in the Solar System? A Correlational Analysis of the Distance between Uranus and Mercury and Points Allowed on the Football Field with an abstract of This study delves into the curious correlation between celestial distances and the defensive performance of the Denver Broncos in professional football. Leveraging data from Astropy and Pro-Football-Reference.com spanning from 1975 to 2023, our research team tackled the elusive association between the distance between Uranus and Mercury and the points allowed by the Denver Broncos. Our analysis revealed a surprisingly significant correlation coefficient of 0.5696826 and p < 0.01, shedding light on the intertwined dynamics of cosmic spatial arrangements and defensive prowess on the gridiron. The findings prompt further investigation into the cosmic touchdown dance of planetary alignments and defensive strategies, as we navigate the cosmic arena of statistical analysis while keeping a playful eye on the celestial playbook.

ChatGPT:

Denver Broncos, defense, solar system, Uranus, Mercury, points allowed, football, Astropy, Pro-Football-Reference.com, correlation analysis, cosmic distances, planetary alignments, statistical analysis, celestial correlations

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The distance between Uranus and Mercury
Detailed data title: The average distance between Uranus and Mercury as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Uranus and Mercury

Points allowed by the Denver Broncos
Detailed data title: Total points the Denver Broncos allowed their opponents to score during the year
Source: Pro-Football-Reference.com
See what else correlates with Points allowed by the Denver Broncos

Correlation r = 0.5696826 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.3245382 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 32.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Points allowed by the Denver Broncos) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Uranus and Mercury) over the 49 years from 1975 through 2023.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.9E-5. 0.0000193508830932083500000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.57 in 0.0019% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 51,677 random variables You don't actually need 51 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 48 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 48 because we have two variables measured over a period of 49 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.34, 0.73 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
1975197619771978197919801981198219831984198519861987198819891990199119921993199419951996199719981999200020012002200320042005200620072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020202120222023
The distance between Uranus and Mercury (Planetary distance (AU))18.387618.443718.498518.542518.586718.629118.697618.754118.837418.912818.975919.028119.086219.151319.215419.304819.378719.451819.500519.562619.616919.673519.748219.805919.85719.883519.923619.943819.979620.024420.061120.084420.091520.103220.093920.105220.111920.122220.102420.080420.053320.005119.985719.959819.941419.897619.857119.798819.7327
Points allowed by the Denver Broncos (Broncos points)307206148198262323289226327241329327288352226374235329284396345275287309318369339344301304258305409448324471390289399354296297382349316446322359351




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([18.3876,18.4437,18.4985,18.5425,18.5867,18.6291,18.6976,18.7541,18.8374,18.9128,18.9759,19.0281,19.0862,19.1513,19.2154,19.3048,19.3787,19.4518,19.5005,19.5626,19.6169,19.6735,19.7482,19.8059,19.857,19.8835,19.9236,19.9438,19.9796,20.0244,20.0611,20.0844,20.0915,20.1032,20.0939,20.1052,20.1119,20.1222,20.1024,20.0804,20.0533,20.0051,19.9857,19.9598,19.9414,19.8976,19.8571,19.7988,19.7327,])
array_2 = np.array([307,206,148,198,262,323,289,226,327,241,329,327,288,352,226,374,235,329,284,396,345,275,287,309,318,369,339,344,301,304,258,305,409,448,324,471,390,289,399,354,296,297,382,349,316,446,322,359,351,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Uranus and Mercury"
array_2_name = "Points allowed by the Denver Broncos"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2557 · Black Variable ID: 1956 · Red Variable ID: 19717
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