Spurious correlation #2,466 · View random
A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Nebraska. The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Burglaries in Nebraska. The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

Download png, svg

AI explanation

As people stopped eating cottage cheese, they also stopped displaying cheesy behavior, which had been a major provolone in the increase of burglaries. It turns out, curd burglars were particularly lactose intolerant, and without their dairy fix, they couldn't brie-lieve in their own sneakiness. It's a gouda thing for Nebraska that the connection between cottage cheese and crime was finally whey-ed off!

^{Show image generation prompt} Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a small, peaceful town in Nebraska. In the foreground, show a cozy cottage where a group of friends are gathered around a table, enjoying big scoops of creamy cottage cheese. They are laughing and chatting happily. In the background, depict a frustrated would-be burglar attempting to break into a house, but finding the windows and doors tightly secured. The scene should exude a warm, charming atmosphere, emphasizing the contrast between the lighthearted enjoyment at the cottage and the failed burglary attempt across town. The 2D animation should have a cute and whimsical style, capturing the sense of community and security brought about by the town's love for cottage cheese. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.

This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Psychedelic Cute 2D animation Macabre Cute 2D animation Art nouveau
ChatGPT: Cottage cheese consumption - Cute 2D animation

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska, in the following situation: The calcium and protein in cottage cheese helps build strong bones and muscles, but when people started eating less of it, they became "curd" of the law, leaving burglars with "whey" less resistance to break in. In other words, without their daily "dairy" intake, Nebraskans couldn't "brie"ve in their own security, leading to a "grate" reduction in burglaries. It's like the thieves were saying, "Don't have a "moo"-vement, we'll find easier targets udderly soon!" With the "whey" clear for the burglars, it seems like cottage cheese really is "milk"ing its role in crime prevention!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a small town in Nebraska, a group of friends gathered in a cozy cottage, enjoying big scoops of creamy cottage cheese. As they savored their snack, they laughed and chatted happily. Meanwhile, across town, a would-be burglar tried to break into a different house but found the windows and doors tightly secured. Frustrated, the burglar moved on, feeling defeated. The townspeople noticed a significant drop in burglaries, and they attributed it to their renewed love for cottage cheese, which seemed to be helping them stay strong and secure.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cottage cheese consumption - Cute 2D animation ] and depicting this scene: In a small town in Nebraska, a group of friends gathered in a cozy cottage, enjoying big scoops of creamy cottage cheese. As they savored their snack, they laughed and chatted happily. Meanwhile, across town, a would-be burglar tried to break into a different house but found the windows and doors tightly secured. Frustrated, the burglar moved on, feeling defeated. The townspeople noticed a significant drop in burglaries, and they attributed it to their renewed love for cottage cheese, which seemed to be helping them stay strong and secure. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a small, peaceful town in Nebraska. In the foreground, show a cozy cottage where a group of friends are gathered around a table, enjoying big scoops of creamy cottage cheese. They are laughing and chatting happily. In the background, depict a frustrated would-be burglar attempting to break into a house, but finding the windows and doors tightly secured. The scene should exude a warm, charming atmosphere, emphasizing the contrast between the lighthearted enjoyment at the cottage and the failed burglary attempt across town. The 2D animation should have a cute and whimsical style, capturing the sense of community and security brought about by the town's love for cottage cheese.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.
^{Show prompt for explanation} Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Burglaries in Nebraska to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)

The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska

Journal of Dairy Criminology

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!

^{Show prompt used to generate this paper} Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unexpected yet intriguing relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Nebraska. Utilizing data extracted from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from 1990 to 2021, we aimed to shed light on this seemingly unrelated pair. Our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and p < 0.01, indicating a statistically significant association. While the traditional pathways of criminology may not immediately incorporate dairy products into their analyses, our research illuminates a potential avenue for further investigation. Join us as we unpack the mysterious interplay between cheese curds and criminal misdeeds, and perhaps uncover the "whey" to preventing burglaries in Nebraska.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
The enigmatic connection between dietary habits and criminal activities has long baffled scholars and law enforcement professionals alike. While the link between alcohol consumption and reckless behavior is well-documented, our study sought to explore a more unorthodox pairing: the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of burglaries in the bucolic state of Nebraska. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, turn to dairy," or was it "When in doubt, turn the udder cheek"? In any case, our investigation was driven by a desire to unravel this unexpected correlation and perhaps churn out some surprising findings.
Despite the initial skepticism and dairy-based puns from our colleagues, we embarked on this research with a sense of curiosity and a hefty serving of gouda humor. The dairy industry is known for producing a "moo-titude" of products, each with its own unique composition and potential impact on human behavior. Cottage cheese, often dubbed the "curd of the crop," captivated our interest due to its widespread consumption and versatility in culinary creations.
The state of Nebraska, known for its sprawling plains and fervent love for college football, provided an ideal backdrop for our investigation. As we delved into the troves of data collected by the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we encountered the challenges of navigating through convoluted datasets while resisting the temptation to embark on a heist of cheese-centric puns. Nevertheless, armed with statistical rigor and an appetite for discovery, we endeavored to shed light on the interplay between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the Cornhusker State.
Our efforts aimed not only to unravel the apparent "cheddary" connection between dairy intake and unlawful activities but also to challenge conventional paradigms within criminology. As we traversed the labyrinthine pathways of correlation analysis and regression modeling, we remained acutely aware of the skepticism that our findings might arouse. Nonetheless, armed with both data and lactose tolerance, we plowed through the "curdled" skepticism and sought to present a compelling case for further exploration of this unique association.
Our study, therefore, endeavors to present an insightful analysis, ripe with statistical scrutiny and a sprinkle of cheese-themed jests, uncovering a relationship that has remained hidden among the haystacks and dairy farms of Nebraska. So, dear reader, lace up your "wheely" shoes and accompany us on this curious journey as we delve into the world of dairy consumption and delinquency, for it may just be the "whey" forward in understanding and preventing burglaries in the heartland of America.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Smith et al.," the authors find a correlation between dietary habits and criminal activities, laying the foundation for our exploration of the link between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska. The juxtaposition of dairy intake and unlawful behaviors may at first seem utterly unrelated, but as we delve into the annals of literature, we unearth intriguing threads that hint at an unexpected entanglement.

Doe's study in "Cheese and Crime" delves into the potential impact of dairy products on human behavior, offering a thought-provoking perspective on the influence of cheese curds in criminology. While the focus remains broad and includes various dairy products, our research narrowed its scope to the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese and criminal misdeeds within the specific context of Nebraska.

Jones's work in "Milk, Money, and Misdeeds" provides a comprehensive analysis of dairy consumption patterns and their association with deviant behaviors, setting a precedent for our investigation into the underexplored nexus of cheese consumption and burglary rates. As we sift through these scholarly contributions, the conundrum of cottage cheese's role in the realm of unlawful activities begins to unravel, much like a block of cheddar teasing apart into creamy, crumbly goodness.

Transitioning to more unconventional sources, we turn to non-fiction literature that explores the idiosyncrasies of dietary habits and their potential ramifications on human conduct. "The Big Cheese: A Dairy Delight" by Nutritionist Nellie offers insights into the nutritional composition of cottage cheese and its effects on mood and decision-making, setting a quirky backdrop for our considerations. Additionally, "Curious Case of Cottage Cheese" by Culinary Connoisseur Claudia presents a lighthearted yet insightful perspective on the cultural significance of cottage cheese consumption, albeit steering clear of its implications for criminal activity.

In the realm of fiction, the novels "The Burglar's Breakfast" by Mystery Author Max Crimson and "The Case of the Curious Curds" by Crime Writer Carla Crackerson, although not directly related to our research, provide intriguing narratives that indirectly resonate with our exploration of the juxtaposition between dairy consumption and unlawful behaviors. As we traverse these fictional landscapes, we encounter whimsical scenarios and enigmatic plot twists that, while stretching the bounds of reality, offer a playful backdrop to our pursuit of understanding cottage cheese and burglary rates in Nebraska.

Venturing into the realm of popular culture, television shows such as "Cheese Heists and Hustles" and "The Dairy Detective" certainly capture the imagination with their depictions of dairy-themed capers and cheesy crime-solving escapades. While these televised dramas carry more entertainment value than empirical significance, they serve as curious artifacts of the public's fascination with the intertwining of dairy and delinquency, prompting a chuckle and a raised eyebrow as we peruse their over-the-top depictions.

Through this whimsical foray into literature and popular culture, we prepare to unravel a correlation that stands at the intersection of culinary customs and criminal activities, armed with analytical rigor and an appetite for seemingly "cheddar-to-believe" associations. As we embark on this scholarly excursion, we acknowledge the scattered grains of skepticism that may accompany our unconventional pursuit but proceed with the conviction that our findings may just bring a sprinkle of enlightenment to the curiously intertwined realms of cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Nebraska.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unexpected yet intriguing relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Nebraska. Utilizing data extracted from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from 1990 to 2021, we aimed to shed light on this seemingly unrelated pair. Our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and p < 0.01, indicating a statistically significant association. While the traditional pathways of criminology may not immediately incorporate dairy products into their analyses, our research illuminates a potential avenue for further investigation. Join us as we unpack the mysterious interplay between cheese curds and criminal misdeeds, and perhaps uncover the "whey" to preventing burglaries in Nebraska.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
The enigmatic connection between dietary habits and criminal activities has long baffled scholars and law enforcement professionals alike. While the link between alcohol consumption and reckless behavior is well-documented, our study sought to explore a more unorthodox pairing: the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of burglaries in the bucolic state of Nebraska. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, turn to dairy," or was it "When in doubt, turn the udder cheek"? In any case, our investigation was driven by a desire to unravel this unexpected correlation and perhaps churn out some surprising findings.
Despite the initial skepticism and dairy-based puns from our colleagues, we embarked on this research with a sense of curiosity and a hefty serving of gouda humor. The dairy industry is known for producing a "moo-titude" of products, each with its own unique composition and potential impact on human behavior. Cottage cheese, often dubbed the "curd of the crop," captivated our interest due to its widespread consumption and versatility in culinary creations.
The state of Nebraska, known for its sprawling plains and fervent love for college football, provided an ideal backdrop for our investigation. As we delved into the troves of data collected by the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we encountered the challenges of navigating through convoluted datasets while resisting the temptation to embark on a heist of cheese-centric puns. Nevertheless, armed with statistical rigor and an appetite for discovery, we endeavored to shed light on the interplay between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the Cornhusker State.
Our efforts aimed not only to unravel the apparent "cheddary" connection between dairy intake and unlawful activities but also to challenge conventional paradigms within criminology. As we traversed the labyrinthine pathways of correlation analysis and regression modeling, we remained acutely aware of the skepticism that our findings might arouse. Nonetheless, armed with both data and lactose tolerance, we plowed through the "curdled" skepticism and sought to present a compelling case for further exploration of this unique association.
Our study, therefore, endeavors to present an insightful analysis, ripe with statistical scrutiny and a sprinkle of cheese-themed jests, uncovering a relationship that has remained hidden among the haystacks and dairy farms of Nebraska. So, dear reader, lace up your "wheely" shoes and accompany us on this curious journey as we delve into the world of dairy consumption and delinquency, for it may just be the "whey" forward in understanding and preventing burglaries in the heartland of America.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Sample Selection:
Our research team gathered a diverse selection of data sources for this study, utilizing a unique combination of technological prowess and good old-fashioned sleuthing. We scoured the virtual dairy-scape for information on cottage cheese consumption, drawing primarily from USDA databases and various cheese enthusiasts' forums. Meanwhile, for burglary statistics, we turned to the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, carefully selecting crime data from the state of Nebraska. The meticulous attention to detail in our sample selection process ensured a robust representation of both dietary habits and criminal activities, with an occasional distraction by online recipes for cheese-based snacks.

Data Compilation:
Bringing together a smorgasbord of information on cottage cheese and burglaries involved an intricate dance of data compilation. We navigated through spreadsheets and databases with the agility of seasoned investigators, meticulously categorizing each data point while resisting the magnetic allure of cheesy puns and daring ourselves to steer clear of a "grate" heist of unrelated information. Our dedication to data integrity and a profound appreciation for the art of cheese plating culminated in a rich, frothy concoction of numerical values that captured the essence of both cottage cheese consumption and criminal activities—an appetizing yet unexpected union.

Data Analysis:
With our data compilation complete, it was time to put our statistical acumen to the test. We employed a series of analytical techniques, including correlation analysis, regression modeling, and time-series analysis, to unearth the potential interplay between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries. The journey through the realm of statistical analyses was peppered with moments of insight and occasional cheese-related quips, reminding us of the multifaceted nature of our investigation.

As we embarked on the statistical odyssey, we meticulously scrutinized the strength of association between cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates, employing robust statistical measures to extract meaningful insights from the data "cheddar." Our commitment to analytical rigor and occasional lactose-induced humor underpinned our quest to unravel the enigmatic relationship between dairy intake and unlawful intrusions, leading us to the heart of Nebraska's dairy-laden hinterlands.

Limitations and Considerations:
Despite our unwavering dedication to empirical inquiry, it is important to acknowledge the inherent limitations of our methodology. The use of secondary data sources, while extensive, may have introduced the occasional confounding factors and data irregularities, akin to discovering a rogue crumble in an otherwise pristine cheese platter. Furthermore, the complexities inherent in capturing the variegated landscape of cottage cheese consumption and criminal activities necessitated a degree of simplification, prompting us to exercise caution in the interpretation of our findings.

Impediments aside, our research methodology encapsulated a spirited blend of empirical rigor and a dash of cheesy whimsy, capturing the essence of two seemingly disparate phenomena in a harmonious statistical waltz. As we present our findings, we invite the scholarly community to join us in savoring the peculiar marriage of curds and crime, for it may just serve as the catalyst for a gruyère understanding of societal dynamics and cheddar solutions to burglary prevention.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unexpected yet intriguing relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Nebraska. Utilizing data extracted from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from 1990 to 2021, we aimed to shed light on this seemingly unrelated pair. Our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and p < 0.01, indicating a statistically significant association. While the traditional pathways of criminology may not immediately incorporate dairy products into their analyses, our research illuminates a potential avenue for further investigation. Join us as we unpack the mysterious interplay between cheese curds and criminal misdeeds, and perhaps uncover the "whey" to preventing burglaries in Nebraska.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Smith et al.," the authors find a correlation between dietary habits and criminal activities, laying the foundation for our exploration of the link between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska. The juxtaposition of dairy intake and unlawful behaviors may at first seem utterly unrelated, but as we delve into the annals of literature, we unearth intriguing threads that hint at an unexpected entanglement.
Doe's study in "Cheese and Crime" delves into the potential impact of dairy products on human behavior, offering a thought-provoking perspective on the influence of cheese curds in criminology. While the focus remains broad and includes various dairy products, our research narrowed its scope to the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese and criminal misdeeds within the specific context of Nebraska.
Jones's work in "Milk, Money, and Misdeeds" provides a comprehensive analysis of dairy consumption patterns and their association with deviant behaviors, setting a precedent for our investigation into the underexplored nexus of cheese consumption and burglary rates. As we sift through these scholarly contributions, the conundrum of cottage cheese's role in the realm of unlawful activities begins to unravel, much like a block of cheddar teasing apart into creamy, crumbly goodness.
Transitioning to more unconventional sources, we turn to non-fiction literature that explores the idiosyncrasies of dietary habits and their potential ramifications on human conduct. "The Big Cheese: A Dairy Delight" by Nutritionist Nellie offers insights into the nutritional composition of cottage cheese and its effects on mood and decision-making, setting a quirky backdrop for our considerations. Additionally, "Curious Case of Cottage Cheese" by Culinary Connoisseur Claudia presents a lighthearted yet insightful perspective on the cultural significance of cottage cheese consumption, albeit steering clear of its implications for criminal activity.
In the realm of fiction, the novels "The Burglar's Breakfast" by Mystery Author Max Crimson and "The Case of the Curious Curds" by Crime Writer Carla Crackerson, although not directly related to our research, provide intriguing narratives that indirectly resonate with our exploration of the juxtaposition between dairy consumption and unlawful behaviors. As we traverse these fictional landscapes, we encounter whimsical scenarios and enigmatic plot twists that, while stretching the bounds of reality, offer a playful backdrop to our pursuit of understanding cottage cheese and burglary rates in Nebraska.
Venturing into the realm of popular culture, television shows such as "Cheese Heists and Hustles" and "The Dairy Detective" certainly capture the imagination with their depictions of dairy-themed capers and cheesy crime-solving escapades. While these televised dramas carry more entertainment value than empirical significance, they serve as curious artifacts of the public's fascination with the intertwining of dairy and delinquency, prompting a chuckle and a raised eyebrow as we peruse their over-the-top depictions.
Through this whimsical foray into literature and popular culture, we prepare to unravel a correlation that stands at the intersection of culinary customs and criminal activities, armed with analytical rigor and an appetite for seemingly "cheddar-to-believe" associations. As we embark on this scholarly excursion, we acknowledge the scattered grains of skepticism that may accompany our unconventional pursuit but proceed with the conviction that our findings may just bring a sprinkle of enlightenment to the curiously intertwined realms of cottage cheese consumption and burglary rates in Nebraska.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis unearthed a remarkably strong positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and an r-squared value of 0.8411147. Moreover, the p-value of less than 0.01 indicated a statistically significant association, leaving us feeling gouda about the robustness of our findings.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) further depicted the compelling relationship between these seemingly incongruent variables, showcasing how the consumption of cottage cheese appeared to be intertwined with the occurrence of burglaries in the state. The trend line resembled a strand of melted cheese, albeit with a slightly less palatable implication.
It is essential to note that while our research revealed a strong correlation, we acknowledge that causation cannot be inferred from these findings alone. Thus, additional studies are warranted to navigate the labyrinth of potential mechanisms underlying this unexpected connection. After all, as researchers, it is our duty to separate the "whey" from the chaff in our quest for scientific truth.
In conclusion, the results of our investigation illuminate a peculiar association between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska, providing a dairy-sprinkled lens through which to examine criminal activities. This study marks a meltable milestone in the exploration of unorthodox correlational patterns and encourages the integration of dairy-related factors into criminological inquiries – a endeavor we hope will not be curd-ailed by skepticism but rather churn out new avenues for understanding and addressing criminal behavior.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The robust positive correlation we uncovered between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska not only reaffirms previously discovered links between dietary habits and criminal activities, but also adds a dollop of intrigue to the field of criminology. Our findings align with the groundwork laid by Smith et al., whose exploration of dietary patterns and unlawful behaviors paved the whey for our investigation. Moreover, our results support Doe's thought-provoking perspective on the potential influence of dairy products on human behavior, suggesting that the curd and the crook may have more in common than meets the eye.

Drawing inspiration from Jones's comprehensive analysis of dairy consumption patterns, our study homed in on the enigmatic role of cottage cheese in the realm of unlawful activities, uncovering a tantalizing correlation that beckons further scrutiny. While our findings may seem as unexpected as finding a proverbial needle in a haystack of hay, they warrant acknowledgment and replication in subsequent research endeavors – after all, it's not every day that one unearths such a gouda correlation.

Transitioning from the scholarly to the quirky, we recall the insights offered by Nutritionist Nellie and Culinary Connoisseur Claudia, whose musings on the nutritional and cultural aspects of cottage cheese consumption inadvertently set the stage for our investigation. As we reflect on the diverse dimensions of cottage cheese – from its nutritional composition to its cultural significance – it becomes apparent that our findings have cast a curiously creamy light on the previously uncharted territory of cheese consumption and crime rates, much like a spotlight on a curds and capers-filled stage.

In the realm of popular culture, the whimsical scenarios depicted in television shows such as "Cheese Heists and Hustles" and "The Dairy Detective" take on a more prescient tone in light of our findings, perhaps serving as a rather unlikely source of inspiration for our exploration into the intertwining of dairy and delinquency. While not offering empirical significance, these cultural artifacts do add a smattering of levity to our dairy-infused discourse, prompting a wry smile as we contemplate the unexpected intersections between cheese and criminality.

In essence, our study has endeavored to pierce through the veil of skepticism that may shroud the unconventional intersection of cottage cheese consumption and burglaries, lending credence to the notion that seemingly unrelated phenomena may, in fact, converge in surprising ways. Armed with analytical rigor and a hint of whimsy, we have embarked on a truly "gouda" expedition, one that has the potential to curdle assumptions and stir up new avenues of inquiry.

As we consider the implications of our findings, we are reminded that the entanglement of cottage cheese and criminal misdeeds offers more than just a titillating correlation – it presents criminology with a unique opportunity to explore the intersection of dietary habits and unlawful behaviors through an unconventional lens, a endeavor we hope will not be curd-ailed by skepticism but rather ripen into a fruitful avenue for understanding and addressing criminal conduct.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the unexpected yet intriguing relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Nebraska. Utilizing data extracted from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from 1990 to 2021, we aimed to shed light on this seemingly unrelated pair. Our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and p < 0.01, indicating a statistically significant association. While the traditional pathways of criminology may not immediately incorporate dairy products into their analyses, our research illuminates a potential avenue for further investigation. Join us as we unpack the mysterious interplay between cheese curds and criminal misdeeds, and perhaps uncover the "whey" to preventing burglaries in Nebraska.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
The enigmatic connection between dietary habits and criminal activities has long baffled scholars and law enforcement professionals alike. While the link between alcohol consumption and reckless behavior is well-documented, our study sought to explore a more unorthodox pairing: the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of burglaries in the bucolic state of Nebraska. As the saying goes, "When in doubt, turn to dairy," or was it "When in doubt, turn the udder cheek"? In any case, our investigation was driven by a desire to unravel this unexpected correlation and perhaps churn out some surprising findings.
Despite the initial skepticism and dairy-based puns from our colleagues, we embarked on this research with a sense of curiosity and a hefty serving of gouda humor. The dairy industry is known for producing a "moo-titude" of products, each with its own unique composition and potential impact on human behavior. Cottage cheese, often dubbed the "curd of the crop," captivated our interest due to its widespread consumption and versatility in culinary creations.
The state of Nebraska, known for its sprawling plains and fervent love for college football, provided an ideal backdrop for our investigation. As we delved into the troves of data collected by the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we encountered the challenges of navigating through convoluted datasets while resisting the temptation to embark on a heist of cheese-centric puns. Nevertheless, armed with statistical rigor and an appetite for discovery, we endeavored to shed light on the interplay between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the Cornhusker State.
Our efforts aimed not only to unravel the apparent "cheddary" connection between dairy intake and unlawful activities but also to challenge conventional paradigms within criminology. As we traversed the labyrinthine pathways of correlation analysis and regression modeling, we remained acutely aware of the skepticism that our findings might arouse. Nonetheless, armed with both data and lactose tolerance, we plowed through the "curdled" skepticism and sought to present a compelling case for further exploration of this unique association.
Our study, therefore, endeavors to present an insightful analysis, ripe with statistical scrutiny and a sprinkle of cheese-themed jests, uncovering a relationship that has remained hidden among the haystacks and dairy farms of Nebraska. So, dear reader, lace up your "wheely" shoes and accompany us on this curious journey as we delve into the world of dairy consumption and delinquency, for it may just be the "whey" forward in understanding and preventing burglaries in the heartland of America.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis unearthed a remarkably strong positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and an r-squared value of 0.8411147. Moreover, the p-value of less than 0.01 indicated a statistically significant association, leaving us feeling gouda about the robustness of our findings.
The scatterplot (Fig. 1) further depicted the compelling relationship between these seemingly incongruent variables, showcasing how the consumption of cottage cheese appeared to be intertwined with the occurrence of burglaries in the state. The trend line resembled a strand of melted cheese, albeit with a slightly less palatable implication.
It is essential to note that while our research revealed a strong correlation, we acknowledge that causation cannot be inferred from these findings alone. Thus, additional studies are warranted to navigate the labyrinth of potential mechanisms underlying this unexpected connection. After all, as researchers, it is our duty to separate the "whey" from the chaff in our quest for scientific truth.
In conclusion, the results of our investigation illuminate a peculiar association between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska, providing a dairy-sprinkled lens through which to examine criminal activities. This study marks a meltable milestone in the exploration of unorthodox correlational patterns and encourages the integration of dairy-related factors into criminological inquiries – a endeavor we hope will not be curd-ailed by skepticism but rather churn out new avenues for understanding and addressing criminal behavior.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In essence, our study has provocatively unveiled a "gouda" potential relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in Nebraska. The statistical analysis has curdled up an unexpected correlation that challenges traditional paradigms within criminology, highlighting the need to incorporate dairy-related factors into the understanding of criminal activities. The proverbial "whey" forward in preventing burglaries may lie in the unlikeliest of places – amidst the dairy aisles and cheese platters of the Cornhusker State.

While our findings tantalizingly demonstrate a robust association, it is crucial to remember that correlation does not imply causation, as tempting as it may "brie." As such, future research should endeavor to delve further into the mechanisms underpinning this unlikely interplay. A rigorous exploration of potential confounding variables and longitudinal studies may help us separate the "whey" from the chaff and unravel the cheesy mysteries shrouding this correlation.

In conclusion, our study marks a dairy-sprinkled cornerstone in the domain of unorthodox correlational patterns, offering a slice of insight into the enigmatic entanglement of cheese curds and criminal misdeeds. While our findings may elicit a few eye rolls or "groans" from skeptics, it is our sincere hope that this research ignites a fondue of scholarly pursuits into dairy-driven delinquency.

In summary, we assert with absolute "cheddar" certainty that no further research is needed in this dairy bizarre avenue of investigation. We have churned out enough evidence to conclude that cottage cheese consumption and burglaries are "muenster-ously" linked, leaving no whey for doubt. It's time to close the lid on this cheesy caper, and perhaps direct our attention to more pressing matters - like Swiss cheese and identity theft. Bon appétit, and goodnight, Nebraska.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Criminology

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Association for Dairy Devotees and Crime Studies

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska with an abstract of This paper delves into the unexpected yet intriguing relationship between cottage cheese consumption and burglaries in the state of Nebraska. Utilizing data extracted from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services from 1990 to 2021, we aimed to shed light on this seemingly unrelated pair. Our findings revealed a surprisingly strong positive correlation, with a coefficient of 0.9171231 and p < 0.01, indicating a statistically significant association. While the traditional pathways of criminology may not immediately incorporate dairy products into their analyses, our research illuminates a potential avenue for further investigation. Join us as we unpack the mysterious interplay between cheese curds and criminal misdeeds, and perhaps uncover the "whey" to preventing burglaries in Nebraska.

ChatGPT:

Cottage cheese consumption, burglaries, Nebraska, crime statistics, dairy product consumption, criminology, correlation analysis, USDA data, FBI crime statistics, cheese curds, criminal behavior, prevention strategies, food consumption patterns, dairy products, criminal activity, statistical analysis

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.

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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Burglaries in Nebraska
Detailed data title: The burglary rate per 100,000 residents in Nebraska
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Burglaries in Nebraska

Correlation r = 0.9171231 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r² = 0.8411147 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.1% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Burglaries in Nebraska) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.6E-13.^Show 0.0000000000001625765417128820
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme.^Note More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 1.6E-11% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 6,150,948,897,449 random variables^Note You don't actually need 6 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, ^Note Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.84, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
^{Read more about the confidence interval} The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!

All values for the years included above: ^Note If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.

	1990	1991	1992	1993	1994	1995	1996	1997	1998	1999	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004	2005	2006	2007	2008	2009	2010	2011	2012	2013	2014	2015	2016	2017	2018	2019	2020	2021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)	3.3	3.2	3.1	2.9	2.8	2.7	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.6	2.7	2.7	2.6	2.6	2.3	2.4	2.3	2.3	2.3	2.1	2.1	2.1	2.2	2.1	2.1	2.1	2	1.9
Burglaries in Nebraska (Burglary rate)	723.8	726.6	714.6	663.5	675.5	631.9	614.5	592.2	634	609.7	592	567.4	597.9	583.2	562.2	535.1	539.2	509.1	489.6	485.7	454.5	473.6	471.3	478.6	421.5	340.2	338.6	339.6	275.7	246.5	229.9	201.5

Why this works

Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
Lack of causal connection: There is probably^Note Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple^Note Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.

Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. ^{Show the steps to do this.} Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."

# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([723.8,726.6,714.6,663.5,675.5,631.9,614.5,592.2,634,609.7,592,567.4,597.9,583.2,562.2,535.1,539.2,509.1,489.6,485.7,454.5,473.6,471.3,478.6,421.5,340.2,338.6,339.6,275.7,246.5,229.9,201.5,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Burglaries in Nebraska"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)

Reuseable content

You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. ^Note Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

Full license details.
For more on re-use permissions, or to get a signed release form, see tylervigen.com/permission.

Download images for these variables:

High resolution line chart ^Note The image linked here is a Scalable Vector Graphic (SVG). It is the highest resolution that is possible to achieve. It scales up beyond the size of the observable universe without pixelating. You do not need to email me asking if I have a higher resolution image. I do not. The physical limitations of our universe prevent me from providing you with an image that is any higher resolution than this one.

If you insert it into a PowerPoint presentation (a tool well-known for managing things that are the scale of the universe), you can right-click > "Ungroup" or "Create Shape" and then edit the lines and text directly. You can also change the colors this way.

Alternatively you can use a tool like Inkscape.
High resolution line chart, optimized for mobile
Alternative high resolution line chart
Scatterplot
Portable line chart (png)
Portable line chart (png), optimized for mobile
Line chart for only Cottage cheese consumption
Line chart for only Burglaries in Nebraska
AI-generated correlation image
The spurious research paper: The Curd and the Crook: An Exploration of the Relationship Between Cottage Cheese Consumption and Burglaries in Nebraska

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Correlation ID: 2466 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20104


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