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Spurious correlation #2,461 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Des Moines and the second variable is The number of postmasters in Iowa.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the air cleared in Des Moines, it seems the postmasters weren't the only ones feeling a bit "un-stationed." It's possible that with cleaner air, postal workers and machinery were operating more efficiently, leading to a reduced need for postmasters statewide. It's a classic case of smog being the only thing propping up those postage-oriented job positions!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that captures the essence of improved air quality in Des Moines, Iowa. Show a serene cityscape under a clear sky, with a small group of postal workers taking a breather, surrounded by lush greenery. The scene should convey a sense of relief and relaxation as the reduced respiratory concerns lead to a decrease in the number of postmasters in the state. Emphasize the positive impact of improved air quality on the well-being of the workers and the environment. The image should exude a sense of tranquility and health in the community. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cubism Art nouveau Concept art A Discovery magazine cover image inspired by bauhaus
ChatGPT: A Discovery magazine cover image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa, in the following situation: Breathing a sigh of relief, the reduced air pollution led to fewer postmasters seeking "air mail" positions due to a decrease in the "stamp"ede of respiratory issues. As the air quality improved, postal workers found themselves with "less mail, more exhale" and decided to "postpone" their careers in managing the "airwaves" of mail delivery. The correlation suggests that as the smog lifted, so did the number of postmasters, showing that sometimes, when it comes to career choices, the "sky's the limit" – in this case, the clearer the sky, the fewer the postmasters in Iowa.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Des Moines, the clear sky allows for a reduced number of postmasters in Iowa. With improved air quality, postal workers can take a breather as respiratory concerns decrease, leading to a decrease in the number of postmasters in the state.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A Discovery magazine cover image ] and depicting this scene: In Des Moines, the clear sky allows for a reduced number of postmasters in Iowa. With improved air quality, postal workers can take a breather as respiratory concerns decrease, leading to a decrease in the number of postmasters in the state. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that captures the essence of improved air quality in Des Moines, Iowa. Show a serene cityscape under a clear sky, with a small group of postal workers taking a breather, surrounded by lush greenery. The scene should convey a sense of relief and relaxation as the reduced respiratory concerns lead to a decrease in the number of postmasters in the state. Emphasize the positive impact of improved air quality on the well-being of the workers and the environment. The image should exude a sense of tranquility and health in the community.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Air pollution in Des Moines caused The number of postmasters in Iowa to decrease. Include one good pun.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa

The Journal of Atmospheric Correspondence

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
INTRODUCTION

Picture this: a bucolic scene in Iowa, with cornfields stretching as far as the eye can see and the distant mooing of cows providing the soundtrack to everyday life. In the midst of this idyllic setting, a bizarre connection emerges – the link between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Yes, you heard that right. We couldn't believe it at first either. But armed with curiosity and a sprinkle of punny humor, we set out to unravel this enigmatic relationship.

As researchers, we're accustomed to delving into dense statistical analyses and navigating the labyrinth of scientific literature. But this time, we decided to don our investigative hats with a dash of whimsy and witty banter. Our journey involved trawling through databases, examining stacks of mind-boggling data, and occasionally pondering, "What’s the air got to do with it?”

This lighthearted yet scholarly pursuit led us to uncover unexpected patterns and correlations. After poring over data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, we stumbled upon a statistical gem – a correlation coefficient so striking, it made us wonder if the air was whispering secrets to the postal service. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, we were left scratching our heads and chuckling in disbelief.

But enough with the tomfoolery; let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Our exploration into the interplay between pollutant particles and postal prowess not only yielded fascinating findings but also underscored the quirkiness of research. From crafting comical hypotheses about how smog might affect stamp-licking agility to pondering the possibility of letters getting lost in a haze of pollution, we uncovered a delightful intersection of environmental and labor data that had us both amused and intrigued.

So, dear reader, buckle up for a whimsical ride through the heartland of America as we navigate the curious twists and turns of air quality and the postal workforce. Together, let's delve into this peculiar phenomenon and perhaps emerge with a newfound appreciation for the unexpected connections that science and statistics unveil.

In the words of the renowned postal enthusiasts – the Marx Brothers – "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But what about air pollution? Let's find out.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a couple popular internet memes that are related to one of the topics.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Picture this: a bucolic scene in Iowa, with cornfields stretching as far as the eye can see and the distant mooing of cows providing the soundtrack to everyday life. In the midst of this idyllic setting, a bizarre connection emerges – the link between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Yes, you heard that right. We couldn't believe it at first either. But armed with curiosity and a sprinkle of punny humor, we set out to unravel this enigmatic relationship.
As researchers, we're accustomed to delving into dense statistical analyses and navigating the labyrinth of scientific literature. But this time, we decided to don our investigative hats with a dash of whimsy and witty banter. Our journey involved trawling through databases, examining stacks of mind-boggling data, and occasionally pondering, "What’s the air got to do with it?”
This lighthearted yet scholarly pursuit led us to uncover unexpected patterns and correlations. After poring over data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, we stumbled upon a statistical gem – a correlation coefficient so striking, it made us wonder if the air was whispering secrets to the postal service. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, we were left scratching our heads and chuckling in disbelief.
But enough with the tomfoolery; let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Our exploration into the interplay between pollutant particles and postal prowess not only yielded fascinating findings but also underscored the quirkiness of research. From crafting comical hypotheses about how smog might affect stamp-licking agility to pondering the possibility of letters getting lost in a haze of pollution, we uncovered a delightful intersection of environmental and labor data that had us both amused and intrigued.
So, dear reader, buckle up for a whimsical ride through the heartland of America as we navigate the curious twists and turns of air quality and the postal workforce. Together, let's delve into this peculiar phenomenon and perhaps emerge with a newfound appreciation for the unexpected connections that science and statistics unveil.
In the words of the renowned postal enthusiasts – the Marx Brothers – "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But what about air pollution? Let's find out.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their groundbreaking study, Smith et al. (2017) delved into the intricate web of air pollution's impact on urban environments, revealing the far-reaching consequences of smog-choked cityscapes. Their earnest exploration into the adverse effects of polluted air on respiratory health and urban ecosystems provides a sobering reminder of the pernicious effects of airborne contaminants. However, little did they know that their findings would inadvertently lead to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected connection between air pollution and the managerial landscape of Iowa's post offices.

Similarly, the work of Doe and Jones (2019) sheds light on the intricate dynamics of workforce demographics, offering a meticulous analysis of labor statistics and employment patterns. Their diligent examination of regional variations in labor force composition serves as the quintessential backdrop against which our tongue-in-cheek investigation unfolds.

As we move beyond the scholarly realm, let's not forget the wealth of knowledge nestled within non-fiction literature. "Pollution and Postmasters: A Peculiar Pair," an intriguing read by environmental essayist Jane Green, presents a compelling argument for the interplay between environmental factors and administrative roles in rural settings. Meanwhile, “The Postal Paradox: Puzzling Postmasters" by labor economist John Blue takes a deep dive into the enigmatic world of postal management, giving us a glimpse into the peculiarities of overseeing mail operations in an era of digital dominance.

On the lighter side of the literary spectrum, fiction offers its own quirky musings on the world of postal operations and environmental escapades. A whimsical tale by author A. S. Airman, "The Smoggy Saga of Postmaster Pete," takes readers on a fantastical journey through a dystopian world where air pollution and mail delivery collide in unexpected ways. In a similar vein, the acclaimed novel "The Air-Mail Affair," penned by E. P. Epistolary, weaves a delightful narrative of love letters lost and found amidst the haze of smog and romance, adding a touch of whimsy to our exploration.

And who could forget the internet's contribution to our obsession with peculiar correlations? Memes such as the "Confused Pikachu" image and the "Is This a Pigeon" meme offer a lighthearted reminder of the sheer extravagance of unexpected correlations. These viral sensations serve as a charming ode to the human fascination with uncovering unlikely connections in the most outlandish of contexts.

With the stage set and the literature surveyed, our journey into the unknown territory of air pollution and postmaster numbers takes a delightfully absurd turn. Join us as we straddle the line between scholarly inquiry and mischievous curiosity, unraveling the whimsical threads that weave together seemingly disparate elements in the heartland of Iowa.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Picture this: a bucolic scene in Iowa, with cornfields stretching as far as the eye can see and the distant mooing of cows providing the soundtrack to everyday life. In the midst of this idyllic setting, a bizarre connection emerges – the link between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Yes, you heard that right. We couldn't believe it at first either. But armed with curiosity and a sprinkle of punny humor, we set out to unravel this enigmatic relationship.
As researchers, we're accustomed to delving into dense statistical analyses and navigating the labyrinth of scientific literature. But this time, we decided to don our investigative hats with a dash of whimsy and witty banter. Our journey involved trawling through databases, examining stacks of mind-boggling data, and occasionally pondering, "What’s the air got to do with it?”
This lighthearted yet scholarly pursuit led us to uncover unexpected patterns and correlations. After poring over data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, we stumbled upon a statistical gem – a correlation coefficient so striking, it made us wonder if the air was whispering secrets to the postal service. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, we were left scratching our heads and chuckling in disbelief.
But enough with the tomfoolery; let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Our exploration into the interplay between pollutant particles and postal prowess not only yielded fascinating findings but also underscored the quirkiness of research. From crafting comical hypotheses about how smog might affect stamp-licking agility to pondering the possibility of letters getting lost in a haze of pollution, we uncovered a delightful intersection of environmental and labor data that had us both amused and intrigued.
So, dear reader, buckle up for a whimsical ride through the heartland of America as we navigate the curious twists and turns of air quality and the postal workforce. Together, let's delve into this peculiar phenomenon and perhaps emerge with a newfound appreciation for the unexpected connections that science and statistics unveil.
In the words of the renowned postal enthusiasts – the Marx Brothers – "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But what about air pollution? Let's find out.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

How does one go about connecting the dots between air pollution and the number of postmasters, you ask? Well, fear not, for we shall reveal the convoluted, yet exquisitely comical, methods behind our madness.

Data Collection:
First and foremost, our intrepid research team scoured the expansive terrain of the internet, braving treacherous websites and vanquishing jargon-laden detours, all in search of the elusive nuggets of data. Our primary sources of treasure were the esteemed repositories of the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) and the Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS), where we hunted for information from the years 2003 to 2022. And yes, we did verify that our data wasn’t delivered by carrier pigeons, just to be on the safe side.

Now, buckle up, for here comes the rousing climax of our data collection adventure – we combined air pollution data for Des Moines, Iowa, and the number of postmasters employed in the entire state. Why Des Moines, you ask? Well, what better place to embark on an expedition into interconnections of air pollution and postal positions than the majestic heartland itself?

Data Analysis:
Armed with our treasure troves of data, we summoned the powers of statistical sorcery to unveil the mystical patterns lurking within. Our mischievous tools included powerful statistical software and a pinch of fairy dust – okay, maybe not the fairy dust, but we like to believe in a bit of magic. With vigor and a touch of whimsy, we calculated correlation coefficients and excavated p-values, all while resisting the temptation to don wizard hats and wave wands (although, we may have considered it).

To unearth the elusive relationship between air pollution and the postal workforce, we performed a thorough regression analysis that left even the most seasoned statisticians nodding in bemusement. Our analysis embraced the intrigue of multivariate linear models, all while steadfastly resisting the siren call of elaborate dance routines and confetti showers.

Interpretation:
Ah, the moment of truth arrived as we gazed upon the statistical outputs, hoping for a hint of cheeky revelation. Lo and behold, we uncovered a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399, standing proud and firm like a postman delivering mail in a blizzard. Shall we cue the applause? And to add spice to the brew, the p-value sauntered in at less than 0.01, signaling a statistically significant relationship that made us wonder if the air was spelling out postmaster counts in invisible ink.

But wait, our scholarly endeavors did not stop there! We dabbled in the art of speculation and hypothesis-crafting, spinning yarns about pollutant particles affecting postage stamp dexterity and letters acrobatically navigating through a murky mist of pollution. Through our jocular musings, we hoped to blend a hint of amusement with the earnest pursuit of scientific explanation.

Conclusion:
In conclusion, dear reader, our methodology was as quirky and whimsical as a Sunday comic strip yet as robust and reliable as a trusty steed on a scientific quest. By blending a dash of humor with the rigor of research, we embarked on an unconventional journey through the realms of air pollution and postal prowess. So, as we bid adieu to the methodology and venture into the realm of results, let us remember the words of the venerable Dr. Seuss, "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" For the journey ahead promises delight, astonishment, and perhaps even a giggle or two.

Stay tuned for the rib-tickling revelations that await as we unveil the unexpected connections between air quality and the postal service in the land of rolling plains and wholesome banter.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and Bureau of Larbor Statistics .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.8909399, r-squared of 0.7937739, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
INTRODUCTION
Picture this: a bucolic scene in Iowa, with cornfields stretching as far as the eye can see and the distant mooing of cows providing the soundtrack to everyday life. In the midst of this idyllic setting, a bizarre connection emerges – the link between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Yes, you heard that right. We couldn't believe it at first either. But armed with curiosity and a sprinkle of punny humor, we set out to unravel this enigmatic relationship.
As researchers, we're accustomed to delving into dense statistical analyses and navigating the labyrinth of scientific literature. But this time, we decided to don our investigative hats with a dash of whimsy and witty banter. Our journey involved trawling through databases, examining stacks of mind-boggling data, and occasionally pondering, "What’s the air got to do with it?”
This lighthearted yet scholarly pursuit led us to uncover unexpected patterns and correlations. After poring over data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, we stumbled upon a statistical gem – a correlation coefficient so striking, it made us wonder if the air was whispering secrets to the postal service. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, we were left scratching our heads and chuckling in disbelief.
But enough with the tomfoolery; let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Our exploration into the interplay between pollutant particles and postal prowess not only yielded fascinating findings but also underscored the quirkiness of research. From crafting comical hypotheses about how smog might affect stamp-licking agility to pondering the possibility of letters getting lost in a haze of pollution, we uncovered a delightful intersection of environmental and labor data that had us both amused and intrigued.
So, dear reader, buckle up for a whimsical ride through the heartland of America as we navigate the curious twists and turns of air quality and the postal workforce. Together, let's delve into this peculiar phenomenon and perhaps emerge with a newfound appreciation for the unexpected connections that science and statistics unveil.
In the words of the renowned postal enthusiasts – the Marx Brothers – "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But what about air pollution? Let's find out.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The whimsical escapade into the world of air pollution and postal prowess has brought forth some intriguing results. From 2003 to 2022, we uncovered a remarkably strong correlation between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399. In other words, it seems that the air in Des Moines has been exchanging correspondence with the postal service in Iowa, creating a curious bond that has left our research team both flabbergasted and amused.

The scatterplot in Figure 1 vividly illustrates this striking relationship, depicting how the number of postmasters in Iowa seemingly dances in sync with the ebbs and flows of air pollution in Des Moines. It's as if the smog and the mail have been engaged in a tango that defies conventional scientific explanation.

Further bolstering the robustness of this connection, the r-squared value of 0.7937739 emphasizes that a substantial proportion of the variability in the number of postmasters can be attributed to changes in air pollution levels. It's as if the pollution particles are penning a statistical ode to the postal service, with each uptick in pollution yielding a corresponding increase in postal staffing.

The p-value of less than 0.01 only adds to the mystique surrounding this bizarre yet undeniable association. It's as if the data itself is whispering, "There's something special about the synergy between polluted air and postal activity that defies conventional wisdom."

So, what can we make of this intriguing partnership between air pollution and the postal workforce? Perhaps the polluted air, in its mysterious ways, has been fostering a greater demand for mail handling proficiency, leading to a higher need for postmasters. Or, in a more lighthearted vein, maybe the fumes from Des Moines are imbuing postal employees with superhero-esque speed and accuracy in handling those pesky junk mails.

In any case, this unprecedented correlation has not only left us scratching our heads but also pondering the whimsical mysteries that lurk within the seemingly mundane patterns of data. Our laughter may echo through the hallowed halls of academia, but it's a testament to the joy of unraveling scientific oddities that dance at the fringes of statistical probability.

As we bid adieu to this comical journey through the quirks of correlation, we invite fellow researchers to join us in this lighthearted pursuit of scientific discovery. After all, in the whimsical world of research, the unexpected often reveals itself with a twinkle in its eye and a mischievous statistical quirk.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their groundbreaking study, Smith et al. (2017) delved into the intricate web of air pollution's impact on urban environments, revealing the far-reaching consequences of smog-choked cityscapes. Their earnest exploration into the adverse effects of polluted air on respiratory health and urban ecosystems provides a sobering reminder of the pernicious effects of airborne contaminants. However, little did they know that their findings would inadvertently lead to a whimsical exploration of the unexpected connection between air pollution and the managerial landscape of Iowa's post offices.
Similarly, the work of Doe and Jones (2019) sheds light on the intricate dynamics of workforce demographics, offering a meticulous analysis of labor statistics and employment patterns. Their diligent examination of regional variations in labor force composition serves as the quintessential backdrop against which our tongue-in-cheek investigation unfolds.
As we move beyond the scholarly realm, let's not forget the wealth of knowledge nestled within non-fiction literature. "Pollution and Postmasters: A Peculiar Pair," an intriguing read by environmental essayist Jane Green, presents a compelling argument for the interplay between environmental factors and administrative roles in rural settings. Meanwhile, “The Postal Paradox: Puzzling Postmasters" by labor economist John Blue takes a deep dive into the enigmatic world of postal management, giving us a glimpse into the peculiarities of overseeing mail operations in an era of digital dominance.
On the lighter side of the literary spectrum, fiction offers its own quirky musings on the world of postal operations and environmental escapades. A whimsical tale by author A. S. Airman, "The Smoggy Saga of Postmaster Pete," takes readers on a fantastical journey through a dystopian world where air pollution and mail delivery collide in unexpected ways. In a similar vein, the acclaimed novel "The Air-Mail Affair," penned by E. P. Epistolary, weaves a delightful narrative of love letters lost and found amidst the haze of smog and romance, adding a touch of whimsy to our exploration.
And who could forget the internet's contribution to our obsession with peculiar correlations? Memes such as the "Confused Pikachu" image and the "Is This a Pigeon" meme offer a lighthearted reminder of the sheer extravagance of unexpected correlations. These viral sensations serve as a charming ode to the human fascination with uncovering unlikely connections in the most outlandish of contexts.
With the stage set and the literature surveyed, our journey into the unknown territory of air pollution and postmaster numbers takes a delightfully absurd turn. Join us as we straddle the line between scholarly inquiry and mischievous curiosity, unraveling the whimsical threads that weave together seemingly disparate elements in the heartland of Iowa.

[[RESULTS]]
The whimsical escapade into the world of air pollution and postal prowess has brought forth some intriguing results. From 2003 to 2022, we uncovered a remarkably strong correlation between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399. In other words, it seems that the air in Des Moines has been exchanging correspondence with the postal service in Iowa, creating a curious bond that has left our research team both flabbergasted and amused.
The scatterplot in Figure 1 vividly illustrates this striking relationship, depicting how the number of postmasters in Iowa seemingly dances in sync with the ebbs and flows of air pollution in Des Moines. It's as if the smog and the mail have been engaged in a tango that defies conventional scientific explanation.
Further bolstering the robustness of this connection, the r-squared value of 0.7937739 emphasizes that a substantial proportion of the variability in the number of postmasters can be attributed to changes in air pollution levels. It's as if the pollution particles are penning a statistical ode to the postal service, with each uptick in pollution yielding a corresponding increase in postal staffing.
The p-value of less than 0.01 only adds to the mystique surrounding this bizarre yet undeniable association. It's as if the data itself is whispering, "There's something special about the synergy between polluted air and postal activity that defies conventional wisdom."
So, what can we make of this intriguing partnership between air pollution and the postal workforce? Perhaps the polluted air, in its mysterious ways, has been fostering a greater demand for mail handling proficiency, leading to a higher need for postmasters. Or, in a more lighthearted vein, maybe the fumes from Des Moines are imbuing postal employees with superhero-esque speed and accuracy in handling those pesky junk mails.
In any case, this unprecedented correlation has not only left us scratching our heads but also pondering the whimsical mysteries that lurk within the seemingly mundane patterns of data. Our laughter may echo through the hallowed halls of academia, but it's a testament to the joy of unraveling scientific oddities that dance at the fringes of statistical probability.
As we bid adieu to this comical journey through the quirks of correlation, we invite fellow researchers to join us in this lighthearted pursuit of scientific discovery. After all, in the whimsical world of research, the unexpected often reveals itself with a twinkle in its eye and a mischievous statistical quirk.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

In the illustrious tradition of scholarly inquiry, our academic escapade into the realm of air pollution and postmaster dynamics has upended expectations with a quirky twist that would rival even the most outlandish sitcom plot. As we sit amidst the chaos of data points and statistical correlations, let's embark on a merry discussion that melds scientific deduction with a dash of whimsy.

Our findings not only corroborate the previous research by Smith et al. (2017) and Doe and Jones (2019) but also paint a riotous portrait of the unexpected kinship between environmental hazards and the curious domain of postal supervision. The correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 exhibited in our analysis not only winks at the diligent work of our predecessors but also lobs a statistical punchline that echoes through the annals of scholarly caprice.

The link between Des Moines' air pollution and the ebb and flow of postmaster numbers in Iowa is not just a statistical oddity; it's a comedic ballet that defies the doldrums of conventional research. As our scatterplot twirls and pirouettes with data points in a mesmerizing rhythm, we can't help but be amused by the surreal dance of correspondence between air pollution and the postal workforce.

Our r-squared value of 0.7937739 further cements this fanciful partnership, gently nudging us to consider the possibility of an airborne correspondence that transcends the mundane realms of statistical analysis. Additionally, the p-value of less than 0.01 adds a mischievous wink to the atypical camaraderie between toxic air and the ol' mailroom crew, as if the data itself has donned a playful disguise to revel in the uproarious absurdity of unexpected correlations.

What whimsical conundrum lies beneath this connection? Could it be that the noxious fumes of Des Moines have unwittingly become the maestros of postal productivity, conducting a symphony of sorting and stamping that defies the laws of scientific rationale? Or perhaps there's a comical twist lurking within the mist, where the exhalations of an urban hub are crafting a tale of postal prowess that would send even the most astute statisticians into fits of giggles.

As we bid farewell to this riotous romp through the terrain of statistical probabilities, let us not forget the whimsical allure of academia. The lighthearted pursuit of scientific discovery often uncovers absurdities that dance at the fringes of probability, reminding us that the unexpected is as much a part of scholarly inquiry as the solemnity of research.

So, fellow scholars, as we lift our hats to this comical confluence of air pollution and postal presences, let us embrace the joy of uncovering statistical anomalies that brim with mirth. After all, in the curious ecosystem of research, it is in the enigmatic dance of data points that we find both delight and discovery, tempered with a touch of whimsy and a generous helping of scientific jest.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Des Moines and The number of postmasters in Iowa. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.

Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Picture this: a bucolic scene in Iowa, with cornfields stretching as far as the eye can see and the distant mooing of cows providing the soundtrack to everyday life. In the midst of this idyllic setting, a bizarre connection emerges – the link between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Yes, you heard that right. We couldn't believe it at first either. But armed with curiosity and a sprinkle of punny humor, we set out to unravel this enigmatic relationship.
As researchers, we're accustomed to delving into dense statistical analyses and navigating the labyrinth of scientific literature. But this time, we decided to don our investigative hats with a dash of whimsy and witty banter. Our journey involved trawling through databases, examining stacks of mind-boggling data, and occasionally pondering, "What’s the air got to do with it?”
This lighthearted yet scholarly pursuit led us to uncover unexpected patterns and correlations. After poring over data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, we stumbled upon a statistical gem – a correlation coefficient so striking, it made us wonder if the air was whispering secrets to the postal service. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, we were left scratching our heads and chuckling in disbelief.
But enough with the tomfoolery; let's get down to the nitty-gritty. Our exploration into the interplay between pollutant particles and postal prowess not only yielded fascinating findings but also underscored the quirkiness of research. From crafting comical hypotheses about how smog might affect stamp-licking agility to pondering the possibility of letters getting lost in a haze of pollution, we uncovered a delightful intersection of environmental and labor data that had us both amused and intrigued.
So, dear reader, buckle up for a whimsical ride through the heartland of America as we navigate the curious twists and turns of air quality and the postal workforce. Together, let's delve into this peculiar phenomenon and perhaps emerge with a newfound appreciation for the unexpected connections that science and statistics unveil.
In the words of the renowned postal enthusiasts – the Marx Brothers – "Neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." But what about air pollution? Let's find out.

[[RESULTS]]
The whimsical escapade into the world of air pollution and postal prowess has brought forth some intriguing results. From 2003 to 2022, we uncovered a remarkably strong correlation between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399. In other words, it seems that the air in Des Moines has been exchanging correspondence with the postal service in Iowa, creating a curious bond that has left our research team both flabbergasted and amused.
The scatterplot in Figure 1 vividly illustrates this striking relationship, depicting how the number of postmasters in Iowa seemingly dances in sync with the ebbs and flows of air pollution in Des Moines. It's as if the smog and the mail have been engaged in a tango that defies conventional scientific explanation.
Further bolstering the robustness of this connection, the r-squared value of 0.7937739 emphasizes that a substantial proportion of the variability in the number of postmasters can be attributed to changes in air pollution levels. It's as if the pollution particles are penning a statistical ode to the postal service, with each uptick in pollution yielding a corresponding increase in postal staffing.
The p-value of less than 0.01 only adds to the mystique surrounding this bizarre yet undeniable association. It's as if the data itself is whispering, "There's something special about the synergy between polluted air and postal activity that defies conventional wisdom."
So, what can we make of this intriguing partnership between air pollution and the postal workforce? Perhaps the polluted air, in its mysterious ways, has been fostering a greater demand for mail handling proficiency, leading to a higher need for postmasters. Or, in a more lighthearted vein, maybe the fumes from Des Moines are imbuing postal employees with superhero-esque speed and accuracy in handling those pesky junk mails.
In any case, this unprecedented correlation has not only left us scratching our heads but also pondering the whimsical mysteries that lurk within the seemingly mundane patterns of data. Our laughter may echo through the hallowed halls of academia, but it's a testament to the joy of unraveling scientific oddities that dance at the fringes of statistical probability.
As we bid adieu to this comical journey through the quirks of correlation, we invite fellow researchers to join us in this lighthearted pursuit of scientific discovery. After all, in the whimsical world of research, the unexpected often reveals itself with a twinkle in its eye and a mischievous statistical quirk.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

CONCLUSION

Reaching the end of this uproarious odyssey through the confluence of air pollution and postal shenanigans, it's clear that we've unearthed a correlation that even the most astute statistical sleuth wouldn't have bet on. With a correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 that's stronger than the force of gravity pulling down those letters, the linkage between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa has left us simultaneously bemused and astounded.

The scatterplot in Figure 1 not only illustrates the choreographed waltz between polluted skies and postal staffing but also prompts curious musings about the possibility of postmasters moonlighting as environmental warriors fighting air pollution with every stamp they affix.

The robust r-squared value of 0.7937739 further exemplifies the captivating nature of this intriguing connection, almost as if the particles of pollution have been scripting a whimsical statistical ballet underneath our noses, or should we say, in our lungs. The p-value, akin to a mischievous riddle, taunts us with its enigmatic whispers, challenging conventional scientific wisdom at every turn of the page.

In light of these findings, it's safe to say that no further research is needed in this area. The relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa has been uncovered, prodded, and tickled with the exception of submitting it to the funniest home videos committee.

Our journey through the quixotic realm of statistical oddities and scientific merriment has not only expanded our understanding of the whimsical nature of research but also invigorated our appreciation for the joyous surprises that lurk within the labyrinthine folds of data. As we bid adieu to this curious correlation, we say with a twinkle in our eyes and a chuckle in our hearts – science never ceases to amaze, even when it's as wacky as the relationship between smog and stamps.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Atmospheric Correspondence


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Atmospheric Analysis and Postal Management


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Air-Mail Pollution: A Postmasterful Analysis of the Relationship Between Air Pollution in Des Moines and the Number of Postmasters in Iowa with an abstract of This study presents a lighthearted yet scholarly analysis of the intriguing relationship between air pollution in Des Moines and the number of postmasters in Iowa. Utilizing data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the Bureau of Labor Statistics, our research team embarked on a whimsical exploration into this seemingly unrelated pair. The findings revealed a surprisingly strong correlation coefficient of 0.8909399 and a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning from 2003 to 2022.
Join us on this comical journey as we unravel the connection between polluted air and postal prowess in the heartland of America. We explore potential explanations for this curious correlation, offering whimsical speculation on the impact of air quality on mail handling abilities and the postal workforce. This study not only provides a chuckle-worthy analysis but also sheds light on the peculiar intersections of environmental and labor data.

ChatGPT:

Air pollution, Postmaster, Iowa, Des Moines, Correlation coefficient, Statistical significance, Environmental Protection Agency, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Mail handling abilities, Postal workforce

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Air pollution in Des Moines
Detailed data title: Percentage of days with moderate or worse air quality in Des Moines-West Des Moines, IA
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Des Moines

The number of postmasters in Iowa
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of postmasters and mail superintendents in Iowa
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of postmasters in Iowa

Correlation r = 0.8909399 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7937739 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 79.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., The number of postmasters in Iowa) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Des Moines) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.4E-7. 0.0000001386862156639873000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.89 in 1.4E-5% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 7,210,522 random variables You don't actually need 7 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.74, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Air pollution in Des Moines (Bad air quality days)36.438429.23539.72629.315138.082236.61229.041132.876731.780834.972728.767121.917819.178114.75412022.191816.164415.84722.191812.6027
The number of postmasters in Iowa (Laborers)870880850870870860850840820780480480340340260270260270240260




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([36.4384,29.235,39.726,29.3151,38.0822,36.612,29.0411,32.8767,31.7808,34.9727,28.7671,21.9178,19.1781,14.7541,20,22.1918,16.1644,15.847,22.1918,12.6027,])
array_2 = np.array([870,880,850,870,870,860,850,840,820,780,480,480,340,340,260,270,260,270,240,260,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Des Moines"
array_2_name = "The number of postmasters in Iowa"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2461 · Black Variable ID: 20545 · Red Variable ID: 7862
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