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Spurious correlation #2,327 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii.  The chart goes from 2002 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Sidney Crosby's scoring prowess is so legendary that it inadvertently set off a chain reaction of excitement around the world. As he scored fewer goals, there was a dip in overall global happiness and adrenaline levels. This, in turn, led to a decrease in impulsive behavior, including the urge to steal cars. Somehow, even the sunny and laid-back vibes of Hawaii weren't immune to the Crosby Effect on the human psyche! Remember, this is just for laughs!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s. The scene depicts a stunning Hawaiian sunset over the tranquil beaches, with palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. In the foreground, Sidney Crosby, the famous ice hockey player, is portrayed joyfully scoring a goal on a soccer field. In the background, a row of parked cars is seen, with a group of people admiring them while one car is being stolen. The illustration should capture the essence of the 1960s comic book style with a touch of nostalgia. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Art nouveau A photo-realistic image A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s inspired by bauhaus An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie
ChatGPT: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: Imagine a beautiful sunset over the beaches of Hawaii, with palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze. In the foreground, there's a soccer field with Sidney Crosby scoring a goal, while in the background, a group of people are admiring a row of parked car with one of them being stolen.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s ] and depicting this scene: Imagine a beautiful sunset over the beaches of Hawaii, with palm trees swaying in the gentle breeze. In the foreground, there's a soccer field with Sidney Crosby scoring a goal, while in the background, a group of people are admiring a row of parked car with one of them being stolen. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s. The scene depicts a stunning Hawaiian sunset over the tranquil beaches, with palm trees gently swaying in the breeze. In the foreground, Sidney Crosby, the famous ice hockey player, is portrayed joyfully scoring a goal on a soccer field. In the background, a row of parked cars is seen, with a group of people admiring them while one car is being stolen. The illustration should capture the essence of the 1960s comic book style with a touch of nostalgia.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby caused Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

The Journal of Sports Psychology and Sociological Behavior

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from NHL and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and p < 0.01 for 2002 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

In the world of academic research, one often encounters surprising correlations and unexpected relationships. For instance, who would have thought that the career regular season goals of Sidney Crosby, the renowned NHL superstar, would have any bearing on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the idyllic state of Hawaii? It seems like an unlikely pair, akin to trying to find a statistical correlation between the price of tea in China and the number of rubber ducks lost at sea. Yet, as the saying goes, "statistics don't lie" – unless, of course, they're manipulated, mishandled, or misinterpreted. In the case of our study, it appears that the numbers have indeed stumbled upon a rather fascinating and befuddling connection.

Sporting enthusiasts and crime analysts alike may raise their eyebrows in bemusement at the notion that a hockey player's knack for scoring goals could somehow be intertwined with the thievery of motor vehicles on a remote, sun-soaked archipelago. However, as researchers, it is our duty to investigate and scrutinize these peculiar occurrences, even if it leads us down pathways as winding and erratic as a journey through a field of statistical landmines.

With a hearty sense of curiosity and a sprinkle of skepticism, we plunge into the depths of this curious correlation, armed with an arsenal of statistical tools and a gallon of coffee to combat the drowsiness induced by relentless data analysis. Our aim is not only to uncover the extent of this unexpected relationship but also to provide a source of amusement for those who appreciate the whimsical side of scientific discovery. There is no harm in injecting some levity into an otherwise rigorous pursuit of knowledge, especially when one is traversing the absurd terrain of juxtaposing puck-shooting prowess and vehicular larceny.

You might be wondering, "Is this informative piece merely a witty charade, a practical joke played by the research community to test the gullibility of unsuspecting peers?" Fear not, dear reader. We assure you that our investigation into the connection between Crosby's scoring spree and the theft of automobiles in the Aloha State is a legitimate endeavor, albeit one that dances on the boundaries of conventional research topics. As we embark on this scholarly escapade, we encourage you to buckle up – not just for the statistically-driven rollercoaster that lies ahead, but also as a precautionary measure against any unforeseen, puck-related theft sprees in your neighborhood.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the world of academic research, one often encounters surprising correlations and unexpected relationships. For instance, who would have thought that the career regular season goals of Sidney Crosby, the renowned NHL superstar, would have any bearing on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the idyllic state of Hawaii? It seems like an unlikely pair, akin to trying to find a statistical correlation between the price of tea in China and the number of rubber ducks lost at sea. Yet, as the saying goes, "statistics don't lie" – unless, of course, they're manipulated, mishandled, or misinterpreted. In the case of our study, it appears that the numbers have indeed stumbled upon a rather fascinating and befuddling connection.
Sporting enthusiasts and crime analysts alike may raise their eyebrows in bemusement at the notion that a hockey player's knack for scoring goals could somehow be intertwined with the thievery of motor vehicles on a remote, sun-soaked archipelago. However, as researchers, it is our duty to investigate and scrutinize these peculiar occurrences, even if it leads us down pathways as winding and erratic as a journey through a field of statistical landmines.
With a hearty sense of curiosity and a sprinkle of skepticism, we plunge into the depths of this curious correlation, armed with an arsenal of statistical tools and a gallon of coffee to combat the drowsiness induced by relentless data analysis. Our aim is not only to uncover the extent of this unexpected relationship but also to provide a source of amusement for those who appreciate the whimsical side of scientific discovery. There is no harm in injecting some levity into an otherwise rigorous pursuit of knowledge, especially when one is traversing the absurd terrain of juxtaposing puck-shooting prowess and vehicular larceny.
You might be wondering, "Is this informative piece merely a witty charade, a practical joke played by the research community to test the gullibility of unsuspecting peers?" Fear not, dear reader. We assure you that our investigation into the connection between Crosby's scoring spree and the theft of automobiles in the Aloha State is a legitimate endeavor, albeit one that dances on the boundaries of conventional research topics. As we embark on this scholarly escapade, we encourage you to buckle up – not just for the statistically-driven rollercoaster that lies ahead, but also as a precautionary measure against any unforeseen, puck-related theft sprees in your neighborhood.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The interplay between Sidney Crosby's career regular season goals and motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii is an intriguing conundrum that has captured the attention of both sports analysts and crime researchers. As we embark on this scholarly investigation, we must first lay the groundwork by examining existing literature on seemingly unrelated phenomena that pique our curiosity and challenge our conventional understanding of statistical relationships.

Smith (2010) delved into the statistical analysis of seemingly disparate variables, unraveling the unexpected connection between fish farming productivity and the sales of artisanal tea kettles in rural England. While initially met with skepticism, Smith's rigorous study demonstrated a statistically significant correlation, leaving readers both amused and perplexed.

Doe (2015) expanded upon this line of inquiry, exploring the correlation between the frequency of celebrity sightings in Los Angeles and the sales of vacuum-sealed space helmets in a small town in Iowa. The findings, though raising eyebrows, provided compelling evidence of a hitherto unrecognized link, prompting further discussion and speculation within academic circles.

Jones (2018) took a bold step into the realm of unusual correlations by investigating the relationship between the taste preferences of office workers and the incidence of UFO sightings during lunch breaks. The results, while raising more questions than answers, shed light on the complex web of factors that may underpin seemingly inexplicable patterns in human behavior.

As we veer into the realm of literary works that mirror the uncanny nature of our research topic, "The Art of Procrastination" by John Perry (2012) serves as a whimsical reflection of the tangential paths that academic pursuits may take. Moreover, in "Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (2005), the exploration of unexpected correlations in diverse domains provides a thought-provoking backdrop for our own investigation.

Venturing into the realm of fiction, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams (1979) serves as a lighthearted testament to the absurdities that can spring from seemingly unrelated elements, akin to the synergy between hockey goals and car thefts. Similarly, Terry Pratchett's "Discworld" series, with its imaginative blend of fantasy and satire, offers a whimsical lens through which to view the perplexing intersection of seemingly disparate phenomena.

In the world of animated entertainment, "Scooby-Doo" and "Inspector Gadget" captivated audiences with their whimsical pursuit of solutions to mysterious and seemingly inconceivable puzzles. The parallels between their adventures and our own exploration of the Crosby-theft correlation serve as a gentle reminder of the delight that can be found in unraveling the unexpected.

As we cultivate this humorous and whimsical tapestry of literature and pop culture, we brace ourselves for the novel and outlandish possibilities that may emerge in our quest to unravel the enigmatic link between a hockey superstar's scoring prowess and the theft of automobiles in Hawaii.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from NHL and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 2002 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the world of academic research, one often encounters surprising correlations and unexpected relationships. For instance, who would have thought that the career regular season goals of Sidney Crosby, the renowned NHL superstar, would have any bearing on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the idyllic state of Hawaii? It seems like an unlikely pair, akin to trying to find a statistical correlation between the price of tea in China and the number of rubber ducks lost at sea. Yet, as the saying goes, "statistics don't lie" – unless, of course, they're manipulated, mishandled, or misinterpreted. In the case of our study, it appears that the numbers have indeed stumbled upon a rather fascinating and befuddling connection.
Sporting enthusiasts and crime analysts alike may raise their eyebrows in bemusement at the notion that a hockey player's knack for scoring goals could somehow be intertwined with the thievery of motor vehicles on a remote, sun-soaked archipelago. However, as researchers, it is our duty to investigate and scrutinize these peculiar occurrences, even if it leads us down pathways as winding and erratic as a journey through a field of statistical landmines.
With a hearty sense of curiosity and a sprinkle of skepticism, we plunge into the depths of this curious correlation, armed with an arsenal of statistical tools and a gallon of coffee to combat the drowsiness induced by relentless data analysis. Our aim is not only to uncover the extent of this unexpected relationship but also to provide a source of amusement for those who appreciate the whimsical side of scientific discovery. There is no harm in injecting some levity into an otherwise rigorous pursuit of knowledge, especially when one is traversing the absurd terrain of juxtaposing puck-shooting prowess and vehicular larceny.
You might be wondering, "Is this informative piece merely a witty charade, a practical joke played by the research community to test the gullibility of unsuspecting peers?" Fear not, dear reader. We assure you that our investigation into the connection between Crosby's scoring spree and the theft of automobiles in the Aloha State is a legitimate endeavor, albeit one that dances on the boundaries of conventional research topics. As we embark on this scholarly escapade, we encourage you to buckle up – not just for the statistically-driven rollercoaster that lies ahead, but also as a precautionary measure against any unforeseen, puck-related theft sprees in your neighborhood.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

In conducting this zany yet intriguing examination into the intertwining worlds of hockey excellence and grand theft auto, we rigorously adhered to a methodological framework that was as robust as a hockey player's defensive stance. Our first step was to collect data on Sidney Crosby's career regular season goals, delving deep into the annals of the National Hockey League's statistical archives. We meticulously documented each of Crosby's scored goals, cross-referencing them with the time-honored precision of a referee tracking a puck hurtling toward the net.

Next, we ventured into the often-unchartered territory of crime statistics, procuring detailed information on motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. With the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services as our guide, we navigated through the digital labyrinths of crime data, all the while ensuring that our research remained firmly grounded in empirical evidence and statistical integrity, much like a goalie guarding the net with unwavering focus.

To measure the strength of the relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the occurrence of motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii, we employed a series of advanced statistical analyses that would have made even the most seasoned statistician raise an eyebrow in intrigue. Our primary tool of choice was the Pearson correlation coefficient, a stalwart ally in the realm of quantitative analysis that enabled us to quantify the degree of association between these seemingly disparate variables. As we melded the numbers with the dexterity of a master ice sculptor, we carefully considered the significance of our findings, ensuring that they passed the hallowed gates of statistical scrutiny with the resilience of an unwavering hockey defense.

Moreover, to ascertain the robustness of the observed correlation, we subjected our data to a battery of sensitivity analyses, akin to conducting multiple slap shots to test the sturdiness of a goalie's defense. Through meticulous scrutiny and a fervent dedication to scientific precision, we sought to fortify our conclusions against the caprices of statistical variability, ensuring that our discoveries were as sturdy as a well-assembled hockey stick.

In the spirit of scientific transparency, we also meticulously documented potential confounders and mediating variables that, much like a puck rebounding off the ice, might have influenced the observed relationship. We took into account various contextual factors, such as fluctuations in the popularity of ice sports and the volatility of car insurance rates, weaving a comprehensive narrative that accounted for the multifaceted tapestry of influences at play, much like a skilled playmaker orchestrating a symphony of offensive maneuvers on the ice.

In conclusion, our methodological approach blended the precision of scientific inquiry with the levity of lighthearted whimsy, illustrating that rigorous research need not be devoid of humor and curiosity. With every gigabyte of data meticulously processed and every statistical assumption carefully scrutinized, we navigated the quirky landscape of our research with the steadfast determination of a team aiming for the Stanley Cup. Through this unique fusion of scientific rigor and playful exploration, we set out to shed light on the baffling yet beguiling connection between Sidney Crosby's scoring escapades and the enigmatic ebb and flow of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical haven of Hawaii.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from NHL and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 2002 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.8768760, r-squared of 0.7689116, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the world of academic research, one often encounters surprising correlations and unexpected relationships. For instance, who would have thought that the career regular season goals of Sidney Crosby, the renowned NHL superstar, would have any bearing on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the idyllic state of Hawaii? It seems like an unlikely pair, akin to trying to find a statistical correlation between the price of tea in China and the number of rubber ducks lost at sea. Yet, as the saying goes, "statistics don't lie" – unless, of course, they're manipulated, mishandled, or misinterpreted. In the case of our study, it appears that the numbers have indeed stumbled upon a rather fascinating and befuddling connection.
Sporting enthusiasts and crime analysts alike may raise their eyebrows in bemusement at the notion that a hockey player's knack for scoring goals could somehow be intertwined with the thievery of motor vehicles on a remote, sun-soaked archipelago. However, as researchers, it is our duty to investigate and scrutinize these peculiar occurrences, even if it leads us down pathways as winding and erratic as a journey through a field of statistical landmines.
With a hearty sense of curiosity and a sprinkle of skepticism, we plunge into the depths of this curious correlation, armed with an arsenal of statistical tools and a gallon of coffee to combat the drowsiness induced by relentless data analysis. Our aim is not only to uncover the extent of this unexpected relationship but also to provide a source of amusement for those who appreciate the whimsical side of scientific discovery. There is no harm in injecting some levity into an otherwise rigorous pursuit of knowledge, especially when one is traversing the absurd terrain of juxtaposing puck-shooting prowess and vehicular larceny.
You might be wondering, "Is this informative piece merely a witty charade, a practical joke played by the research community to test the gullibility of unsuspecting peers?" Fear not, dear reader. We assure you that our investigation into the connection between Crosby's scoring spree and the theft of automobiles in the Aloha State is a legitimate endeavor, albeit one that dances on the boundaries of conventional research topics. As we embark on this scholarly escapade, we encourage you to buckle up – not just for the statistically-driven rollercoaster that lies ahead, but also as a precautionary measure against any unforeseen, puck-related theft sprees in your neighborhood.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Upon analyzing the data from the years 2002 to 2022, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation between the career regular season goals scored by the NHL phenom Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the picturesque state of Hawaii. The correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 left us scratching our heads in bemusement, wondering if we had stumbled upon an improbable statistical artifact or a genuine, albeit illogical, phenomenon conjured up by the whims of data. Here we are, minding our own business, diving into the world of sports analytics, only to find ourselves entangled in a web of statistical curiosities that could rival the plot twists of a mystery novel.

The p-value of less than 0.01 further solidified the legitimacy of this unexpected relationship, prompting our team to let out an exclamation that echoed through the halls of our research facility. How could the prowess of a hockey player, honored and revered on the ice, possibly intersect with the underhanded activities of car thieves in a far-flung tropical paradise? It was as if the statistical gods were playing an elaborate practical joke on our unsuspecting scientific minds, snickering at the absurdity of it all.

Fig. 1 presents a scatterplot that encapsulates the robust correlation between Crosby's career regular season goals and motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. One cannot help but marvel at the buoyant trajectory of the data points, as if they were engaged in a spirited game of statistical ping pong, volleying the influence of Crosby's goals back and forth with the audacity of car thefts. The plot is a visual testament to the inexplicable bond that emerged from the depths of our data analysis, leaving us with raised eyebrows and a lingering sense of astonishment.

With an r-squared value of 0.7689116, we found ourselves caught in a whirlwind of statistical fervor, grappling with the implications of such a substantial coefficient in the context of this unlikely pairing. It was as if the statistical forces had conspired to blur the lines between the realm of sports and the landscape of law enforcement, enticing us to confront the perplexing reality that emerged from our rigorous examination of the data.

In conclusion, our findings bring to light a correlation that transcends the confines of conventional statistical expectations. The connection between Sidney Crosby's goal-scoring fervor and the audacity of car thefts in Hawaii is a testament to the beguiling nature of data analysis, reminding us that statistical revelations can often unfold in the most unexpected of places. As we close this chapter on our exploration of this bizarre correlation, we embrace the spirit of scientific inquiry and the whimsy of statistical discovery, inviting fellow researchers to join us in unraveling the enigmatic threads of this unusual tapestry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The interplay between Sidney Crosby's career regular season goals and motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii is an intriguing conundrum that has captured the attention of both sports analysts and crime researchers. As we embark on this scholarly investigation, we must first lay the groundwork by examining existing literature on seemingly unrelated phenomena that pique our curiosity and challenge our conventional understanding of statistical relationships.
Smith (2010) delved into the statistical analysis of seemingly disparate variables, unraveling the unexpected connection between fish farming productivity and the sales of artisanal tea kettles in rural England. While initially met with skepticism, Smith's rigorous study demonstrated a statistically significant correlation, leaving readers both amused and perplexed.
Doe (2015) expanded upon this line of inquiry, exploring the correlation between the frequency of celebrity sightings in Los Angeles and the sales of vacuum-sealed space helmets in a small town in Iowa. The findings, though raising eyebrows, provided compelling evidence of a hitherto unrecognized link, prompting further discussion and speculation within academic circles.
Jones (2018) took a bold step into the realm of unusual correlations by investigating the relationship between the taste preferences of office workers and the incidence of UFO sightings during lunch breaks. The results, while raising more questions than answers, shed light on the complex web of factors that may underpin seemingly inexplicable patterns in human behavior.
As we veer into the realm of literary works that mirror the uncanny nature of our research topic, "The Art of Procrastination" by John Perry (2012) serves as a whimsical reflection of the tangential paths that academic pursuits may take. Moreover, in "Freakonomics: A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything" by Steven D. Levitt and Stephen J. Dubner (2005), the exploration of unexpected correlations in diverse domains provides a thought-provoking backdrop for our own investigation.
Venturing into the realm of fiction, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" by Douglas Adams (1979) serves as a lighthearted testament to the absurdities that can spring from seemingly unrelated elements, akin to the synergy between hockey goals and car thefts. Similarly, Terry Pratchett's "Discworld" series, with its imaginative blend of fantasy and satire, offers a whimsical lens through which to view the perplexing intersection of seemingly disparate phenomena.
In the world of animated entertainment, "Scooby-Doo" and "Inspector Gadget" captivated audiences with their whimsical pursuit of solutions to mysterious and seemingly inconceivable puzzles. The parallels between their adventures and our own exploration of the Crosby-theft correlation serve as a gentle reminder of the delight that can be found in unraveling the unexpected.
As we cultivate this humorous and whimsical tapestry of literature and pop culture, we brace ourselves for the novel and outlandish possibilities that may emerge in our quest to unravel the enigmatic link between a hockey superstar's scoring prowess and the theft of automobiles in Hawaii.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon analyzing the data from the years 2002 to 2022, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation between the career regular season goals scored by the NHL phenom Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the picturesque state of Hawaii. The correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 left us scratching our heads in bemusement, wondering if we had stumbled upon an improbable statistical artifact or a genuine, albeit illogical, phenomenon conjured up by the whims of data. Here we are, minding our own business, diving into the world of sports analytics, only to find ourselves entangled in a web of statistical curiosities that could rival the plot twists of a mystery novel.
The p-value of less than 0.01 further solidified the legitimacy of this unexpected relationship, prompting our team to let out an exclamation that echoed through the halls of our research facility. How could the prowess of a hockey player, honored and revered on the ice, possibly intersect with the underhanded activities of car thieves in a far-flung tropical paradise? It was as if the statistical gods were playing an elaborate practical joke on our unsuspecting scientific minds, snickering at the absurdity of it all.
Fig. 1 presents a scatterplot that encapsulates the robust correlation between Crosby's career regular season goals and motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. One cannot help but marvel at the buoyant trajectory of the data points, as if they were engaged in a spirited game of statistical ping pong, volleying the influence of Crosby's goals back and forth with the audacity of car thefts. The plot is a visual testament to the inexplicable bond that emerged from the depths of our data analysis, leaving us with raised eyebrows and a lingering sense of astonishment.
With an r-squared value of 0.7689116, we found ourselves caught in a whirlwind of statistical fervor, grappling with the implications of such a substantial coefficient in the context of this unlikely pairing. It was as if the statistical forces had conspired to blur the lines between the realm of sports and the landscape of law enforcement, enticing us to confront the perplexing reality that emerged from our rigorous examination of the data.
In conclusion, our findings bring to light a correlation that transcends the confines of conventional statistical expectations. The connection between Sidney Crosby's goal-scoring fervor and the audacity of car thefts in Hawaii is a testament to the beguiling nature of data analysis, reminding us that statistical revelations can often unfold in the most unexpected of places. As we close this chapter on our exploration of this bizarre correlation, we embrace the spirit of scientific inquiry and the whimsy of statistical discovery, inviting fellow researchers to join us in unraveling the enigmatic threads of this unusual tapestry.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings not only reaffirm the statistically significant relationship between Sidney Crosby’s goal-scoring prowess and motor vehicle thefts in the serene state of Hawaii but also elevate the whimsical obscurities of statistical inquiry to new heights. The correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 stands as a testament to the enthralling interplay between the artistry of hockey and the mischievous endeavors of auto thieves. It's as if the puck of statistical influence, launched by Crosby's goals, ricocheted across the ocean, stirring the talents of car thieves to orchestrate their audacious heists. This discovery propels us into the heart of a statistical whirlwind, where the hallowed ice of sporting achievement converges with the sultry surf of criminal activity. Who knew that the R2 value could evoke such tenure, blurring the lines between the goals of a professional athlete and the furtive machinations of car thieves?

Harking back to the literature, the unexpected correlations in Smith (2010) and Doe (2015) provided a light-hearted preamble to the anomalies we've observed. With the scholarly enthusiasm of Jones (2018) and the whimsical portrayal in "Freakonomics," our findings fit right into the pantheon of unconventional statistical revelations. The scientific gods seem to have played an elaborate practical joke on us, dangling this enigmatic correlation like a carrot of cosmic humor and proving that the laws of probability can be as capricious as a cat's whims. The resilience of the statistical gods' jest reminds us that, much like the plot twists of a mystery novel, scientific inquiry can conjure revelations that rival even the most outlandish of literary conceits.

Our scatterplot stands as a visual testament to the merry dance of statistical influence, with data points engaged in a spirited game of statistical ping pong. It's as if they're celebrating the impromptu union of Crosby's goals and car thefts with the jubilation of a carnival parade. As we bask in the absurdity of our statistical endeavor, we invite fellow researchers to join us in untangling the threads of this unlikely tapestry. For science, much like life, often surprises us with unlikely connections that animate our curiosity and unveil the whimsy of statistical discovery.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby and Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the world of academic research, one often encounters surprising correlations and unexpected relationships. For instance, who would have thought that the career regular season goals of Sidney Crosby, the renowned NHL superstar, would have any bearing on the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the idyllic state of Hawaii? It seems like an unlikely pair, akin to trying to find a statistical correlation between the price of tea in China and the number of rubber ducks lost at sea. Yet, as the saying goes, "statistics don't lie" – unless, of course, they're manipulated, mishandled, or misinterpreted. In the case of our study, it appears that the numbers have indeed stumbled upon a rather fascinating and befuddling connection.
Sporting enthusiasts and crime analysts alike may raise their eyebrows in bemusement at the notion that a hockey player's knack for scoring goals could somehow be intertwined with the thievery of motor vehicles on a remote, sun-soaked archipelago. However, as researchers, it is our duty to investigate and scrutinize these peculiar occurrences, even if it leads us down pathways as winding and erratic as a journey through a field of statistical landmines.
With a hearty sense of curiosity and a sprinkle of skepticism, we plunge into the depths of this curious correlation, armed with an arsenal of statistical tools and a gallon of coffee to combat the drowsiness induced by relentless data analysis. Our aim is not only to uncover the extent of this unexpected relationship but also to provide a source of amusement for those who appreciate the whimsical side of scientific discovery. There is no harm in injecting some levity into an otherwise rigorous pursuit of knowledge, especially when one is traversing the absurd terrain of juxtaposing puck-shooting prowess and vehicular larceny.
You might be wondering, "Is this informative piece merely a witty charade, a practical joke played by the research community to test the gullibility of unsuspecting peers?" Fear not, dear reader. We assure you that our investigation into the connection between Crosby's scoring spree and the theft of automobiles in the Aloha State is a legitimate endeavor, albeit one that dances on the boundaries of conventional research topics. As we embark on this scholarly escapade, we encourage you to buckle up – not just for the statistically-driven rollercoaster that lies ahead, but also as a precautionary measure against any unforeseen, puck-related theft sprees in your neighborhood.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon analyzing the data from the years 2002 to 2022, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation between the career regular season goals scored by the NHL phenom Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the picturesque state of Hawaii. The correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 left us scratching our heads in bemusement, wondering if we had stumbled upon an improbable statistical artifact or a genuine, albeit illogical, phenomenon conjured up by the whims of data. Here we are, minding our own business, diving into the world of sports analytics, only to find ourselves entangled in a web of statistical curiosities that could rival the plot twists of a mystery novel.
The p-value of less than 0.01 further solidified the legitimacy of this unexpected relationship, prompting our team to let out an exclamation that echoed through the halls of our research facility. How could the prowess of a hockey player, honored and revered on the ice, possibly intersect with the underhanded activities of car thieves in a far-flung tropical paradise? It was as if the statistical gods were playing an elaborate practical joke on our unsuspecting scientific minds, snickering at the absurdity of it all.
Fig. 1 presents a scatterplot that encapsulates the robust correlation between Crosby's career regular season goals and motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii. One cannot help but marvel at the buoyant trajectory of the data points, as if they were engaged in a spirited game of statistical ping pong, volleying the influence of Crosby's goals back and forth with the audacity of car thefts. The plot is a visual testament to the inexplicable bond that emerged from the depths of our data analysis, leaving us with raised eyebrows and a lingering sense of astonishment.
With an r-squared value of 0.7689116, we found ourselves caught in a whirlwind of statistical fervor, grappling with the implications of such a substantial coefficient in the context of this unlikely pairing. It was as if the statistical forces had conspired to blur the lines between the realm of sports and the landscape of law enforcement, enticing us to confront the perplexing reality that emerged from our rigorous examination of the data.
In conclusion, our findings bring to light a correlation that transcends the confines of conventional statistical expectations. The connection between Sidney Crosby's goal-scoring fervor and the audacity of car thefts in Hawaii is a testament to the beguiling nature of data analysis, reminding us that statistical revelations can often unfold in the most unexpected of places. As we close this chapter on our exploration of this bizarre correlation, we embrace the spirit of scientific inquiry and the whimsy of statistical discovery, inviting fellow researchers to join us in unraveling the enigmatic threads of this unusual tapestry.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In unraveling the peculiar connection between Sidney Crosby's goal-scoring antics and the thievery of automobiles in the Hawaiian paradise, we've embarked on a scientific voyage akin to navigating through a labyrinth of statistical surprises. Our data uncovered a correlation coefficient that would make even the most seasoned statisticians raise their eyebrows higher than a puck soaring towards a goalie's glove. With an r-squared value of 0.7689116, it's as if the gods of data were pulling off a grand, cosmic jest, nudging us toward a whimsical tango between hockey prowess and felonious fancies.

Fig. 1, our lively scatterplot, embodies the spirited camaraderie between Crosby's goals and the audacious car thefts, reminiscent of a game of statistical ping pong with an unexpected twist. Yet, even amidst the statistical chaos, we can't help but marvel at the unexpected bond that emerged from our analysis, leaving us bemused and somewhat wiser about the cryptic nature of statistical correlations.

Our investigation into this improbable pairing has not only honed our statistical prowess but also reminded us of the inherent whimsy and caprice of scientific discovery. As we bid adieu to this unconventional pathway of research, we assert with confidence - no, with downright assurance - that this area requires no further inquiry. After all, who needs more evidence linking hockey goals to car thefts when you've already got a correlation worthy of a slapstick comedy script? It seems that the statistical universe has a sense of humor after all.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Sports Psychology and Sociological Behavior


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Association for Quirky Sports and Social Trends Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Scoring Goals and Stealing Cars: Unveiling the Unlikely Link between Sidney Crosby's Career Regular Season Goals and Motor Vehicle Thefts in Hawaii with an abstract of This paper examines the peculiar relationship between the career regular season goals scored by NHL star Sidney Crosby and the incidence of motor vehicle thefts in the tropical paradise of Hawaii. Leveraging data from the National Hockey League (NHL) and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we uncover a surprising correlation that surpasses the realm of sports analytics. Our findings reveal a correlation coefficient of 0.8768760 and a p-value less than 0.01, indicating a statistically significant relationship between Crosby's goal-scoring prowess and the frequency of car thefts in the island state from 2002 to 2022. While these results may appear absurd at first glance, we delve into potential explanations for this unlikely correlation and propose further research avenues to explore the underlying mechanisms. By shedding light on this unexpected correlation, we hope to both entertain and inspire future research in the intriguing intersection of professional sports and crime trends.

ChatGPT:

Sidney Crosby, NHL, career regular season goals, motor vehicle thefts, Hawaii, correlation coefficient, statistical significance, sports analytics, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, crime trends, professional sports, research avenues

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby
Source: NHL
See what else correlates with Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby

Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Hawaii
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii

Correlation r = 0.8768760 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7689116 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 76.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby) over the 21 years from 2002 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.8E-7. 0.0000001835602813775664200000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.88 in 1.8E-5% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 5,447,802 random variables You don't actually need 5 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 20 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 20 because we have two variables measured over a period of 21 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.72, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby (Goals scored)95725678473624335532815362836442935162431
Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)798.8772.8683717.4602489.6397.1375387.3324.3278323.7390.7379.9384.9370402.5367.7379.8435.1407




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([95,72,56,78,47,36,24,33,55,32,8,15,36,28,36,44,29,35,16,24,31,])
array_2 = np.array([798.8,772.8,683,717.4,602,489.6,397.1,375,387.3,324.3,278,323.7,390.7,379.9,384.9,370,402.5,367.7,379.8,435.1,407,])
array_1_name = "Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Hawaii"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2327 · Black Variable ID: 348 · Red Variable ID: 20148
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