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Spurious correlation #1,949 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Air pollution in Pittsburgh and the second variable is Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby.  The chart goes from 2002 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the air became cleaner in Pittsburgh, it also became lighter, making it easier for the opposing teams to keep up with Crosby on the ice. Plus, with less smog to obscure their view, the goalies were finally able to see his tricky moves coming!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a realistic scene in Pittsburgh, with the city skyline in the background and smog hanging in the air. In the foreground, depict Sidney Crosby in a dynamic pose, celebrating a goal with hockey fans cheering around him. The composition should emphasize the contrast between the polluted atmosphere and the moment of sports triumph, capturing the resilience and spirit of the city. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Poor air quality in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Realistic Cyberpunk Cutsy graphics Cutsy graphics Cyber folk
ChatGPT: Realistic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Poor air quality in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Pittsburgh, as the smog from poor air quality hung in the sky, Sidney Crosby skillfully scored his 500th career regular season goal, lifting the spirits of the city amidst the pollution.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Realistic ] and depicting this scene: In Pittsburgh, as the smog from poor air quality hung in the sky, Sidney Crosby skillfully scored his 500th career regular season goal, lifting the spirits of the city amidst the pollution. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a realistic scene in Pittsburgh, with the city skyline in the background and smog hanging in the air. In the foreground, depict Sidney Crosby in a dynamic pose, celebrating a goal with hockey fans cheering around him. The composition should emphasize the contrast between the polluted atmosphere and the moment of sports triumph, capturing the resilience and spirit of the city.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Air pollution in Pittsburgh caused Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

The Journal of Sports Science and Environmental Epidemiology

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Environmental Protection Agency and NHL to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and p < 0.01 for 2002 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

As legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but what if the air pollution in Pittsburgh is making it harder for Sidney Crosby to take those shots? Could the murky haze hovering over the Steel City be affecting the precision of Crosby's slapshots and the finesse of his wristers? In this puck-uliar research paper, we lace up our skates and venture into the uncharted territory where environmental science meets the world of professional ice hockey.

The connection between environmental pollution and athletic performance may seem as slippery as a freshly resurfaced ice rink, but we are determined to uncover the truth. Our quest involves analyzing the daring exploits of one of hockey's most revered artists, Sidney Crosby, and the invisible adversaries of air pollution in Pittsburgh. It might sound like a zany crossover episode of "The X-Files" and "Hockey Night in Canada," but this investigation is grounded in serious scientific inquiry.

As we embark on this journey, we recognize the inherent absurdity of our endeavor. We're delving into the correlation between potentially harmful air pollutants and the career regular season goals scored by "Sid the Kid," a feat that requires a meticulous examination of statistical data with a generous sprinkle of hockey puns. Let's face it, if there's one thing that's as exhilarating as a hat trick, it's a statistically significant correlation coefficient... or so we hope.

So, grab your lab coat and hockey jersey, because it's time to dig deep into the whimsical web of probability, statistics, and the enigmatic allure of the Crosby effect. In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a dash of puckish humor, we invite you to embark on this whimsical expedition with us, where the goal is to unravel the mystery of how air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring prowess collide. Let's break the ice and hit the puck of knowledge right into the net of discovery!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
As legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but what if the air pollution in Pittsburgh is making it harder for Sidney Crosby to take those shots? Could the murky haze hovering over the Steel City be affecting the precision of Crosby's slapshots and the finesse of his wristers? In this puck-uliar research paper, we lace up our skates and venture into the uncharted territory where environmental science meets the world of professional ice hockey.
The connection between environmental pollution and athletic performance may seem as slippery as a freshly resurfaced ice rink, but we are determined to uncover the truth. Our quest involves analyzing the daring exploits of one of hockey's most revered artists, Sidney Crosby, and the invisible adversaries of air pollution in Pittsburgh. It might sound like a zany crossover episode of "The X-Files" and "Hockey Night in Canada," but this investigation is grounded in serious scientific inquiry.
As we embark on this journey, we recognize the inherent absurdity of our endeavor. We're delving into the correlation between potentially harmful air pollutants and the career regular season goals scored by "Sid the Kid," a feat that requires a meticulous examination of statistical data with a generous sprinkle of hockey puns. Let's face it, if there's one thing that's as exhilarating as a hat trick, it's a statistically significant correlation coefficient... or so we hope.
So, grab your lab coat and hockey jersey, because it's time to dig deep into the whimsical web of probability, statistics, and the enigmatic allure of the Crosby effect. In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a dash of puckish humor, we invite you to embark on this whimsical expedition with us, where the goal is to unravel the mystery of how air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring prowess collide. Let's break the ice and hit the puck of knowledge right into the net of discovery!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The exploration of the relationship between environmental factors and athletic performance has garnered much attention in scientific circles. In "Air Quality and Sports Performance," Smith et al. (2015) expounded on the potential effects of air pollution on professional athletes, shedding light on the multifaceted implications for their endurance, lung capacity, and overall performance. Similarly, Doe and Jones (2018) examined the impact of environmental pollution on cardiovascular health and its potential implications for athletes, providing a comprehensive foundation for understanding the interplay between air quality and physical exertion.

Moving onto non-fiction works closely related to our topic, "The Air Pollution Solution" by Dr. Clean Air presents a comprehensive analysis of the detrimental effects of air pollution on human health and well-being. Likewise, "The Art of Scoring" by Hockey Guru delves into the intricate facets of effective goal scoring in the realm of professional hockey.

However, to add a dash of whimsy to our overly serious review, we mustn't overlook the potential influence of fictional literature on our investigation. Consider the enigmatic allure of "Pucks and Pollution: A Tale of Two Cities" by E. Iceberg, a fictional novel that whimsically explores the unforeseen connections between environmental degradation and the athletic pursuits of a young, scrappy protagonist.

Furthermore, venturing into the realm of children's entertainment, we couldn't resist the temptation to comb through episodes of "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" for insights into environmental stewardship and its impact on physical prowess. While our approach may appear unconventional, it is imperative to cast a wide net of inquiry to fully grasp the intricacies of our research question.

In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a touch of puckish humor, our literature review meanders through both conventional and unconventional sources to lay the groundwork for our unorthodox exploration. With a firm grip on the stick of academic rigor and a keen eye for the mysteriously elusive net of discovery, we endeavor to unravel the intriguing relationship between the murky skies of Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's magnificent goal-scoring feats.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and NHL . You used data from 2002 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
As legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but what if the air pollution in Pittsburgh is making it harder for Sidney Crosby to take those shots? Could the murky haze hovering over the Steel City be affecting the precision of Crosby's slapshots and the finesse of his wristers? In this puck-uliar research paper, we lace up our skates and venture into the uncharted territory where environmental science meets the world of professional ice hockey.
The connection between environmental pollution and athletic performance may seem as slippery as a freshly resurfaced ice rink, but we are determined to uncover the truth. Our quest involves analyzing the daring exploits of one of hockey's most revered artists, Sidney Crosby, and the invisible adversaries of air pollution in Pittsburgh. It might sound like a zany crossover episode of "The X-Files" and "Hockey Night in Canada," but this investigation is grounded in serious scientific inquiry.
As we embark on this journey, we recognize the inherent absurdity of our endeavor. We're delving into the correlation between potentially harmful air pollutants and the career regular season goals scored by "Sid the Kid," a feat that requires a meticulous examination of statistical data with a generous sprinkle of hockey puns. Let's face it, if there's one thing that's as exhilarating as a hat trick, it's a statistically significant correlation coefficient... or so we hope.
So, grab your lab coat and hockey jersey, because it's time to dig deep into the whimsical web of probability, statistics, and the enigmatic allure of the Crosby effect. In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a dash of puckish humor, we invite you to embark on this whimsical expedition with us, where the goal is to unravel the mystery of how air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring prowess collide. Let's break the ice and hit the puck of knowledge right into the net of discovery!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To boldly go where no environmental scientists or hockey enthusiasts have gone before, we concocted a research approach as intriguing as a sudden-death overtime period. Our methodology involved the use of data from the Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) to measure air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the National Hockey League (NHL) for the transcendental statistics of Sidney Crosby's career regular season goal-scoring performance. With a hearty dose of scientific rigor and a wink of whimsy, we endeavored to illuminate the ethereal bond between air pollution and Crosby's on-ice magic.

The data collection process was as complex as a game-winning shootout, but fear not, we navigated it with the precision of a Zamboni maneuvering over a freshly frozen sheet of ice. For the measurements of air pollution, we procured data on particulate matter, nitrogen dioxide, sulfur dioxide, and carbon monoxide levels from the EPA's air quality monitoring stations in the Pittsburgh area. These pollutants were chosen based on their potential impact on respiratory health and their knack for causing mischief when it comes to the delicate dance of aerobic performance on the ice.

As for Mr. Crosby's mesmerizing goal-scoring escapades, we harnessed the raw power of statistical databases to gather comprehensive data on his regular season goals from 2002 to 2022. We held nothing back in our data quest, casting a wide net across the vast oceans of the internet to ensure that no goal was left uncounted and no puck was left untracked.

Once the data gathered, we set sail on the tempestuous seas of data analysis, navigating through the whirlpools of statistical software and the siren songs of perplexing equations. Our primary goal was to quantify the relationship between air pollution levels and Crosby's goal-scoring with the gravity-defying precision of a well-executed wrist shot. We utilized robust statistical methods, including regression analysis, to disentangle the web of coefficients and p-values, seeking to unearth the threads that connect the murky haze of Pittsburgh's air quality to the luminous trail of Crosby's goal-scoring brilliance.

In addition to the quantitative analysis, we also delved into the qualitative aspects of the data, immersing ourselves in the rich narrative of Pittsburgh's air quality and Crosby's career milestones. We sought to infuse the cold hard numbers with the warmth of human context, recognizing that behind each data point lies a story waiting to be heard.

Navigating the choppy waters of interdisciplinary research, we recognized the need for caution in interpreting and presenting our findings. We painstakingly screened for potential confounding variables, ensuring that our conclusions reflected the true essence of the relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring, and not merely the echoes of uncontrolled influences.

Ultimately, our research methodology embodied the spirit of unrelenting inquiry and the charm of unexpected connections, striving to uncover the hidden harmonies between Pittsburgh's air pollution and the metronomic rhythm of Crosby's goals. This methodical odyssey was driven by a relentless passion for complexity and a reverence for the unexplainable mysteries that unfold when science and sports collide.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Environmental Protection Agency and NHL .

For the time period 2002 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.8302928, r-squared of 0.6893861, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
As legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but what if the air pollution in Pittsburgh is making it harder for Sidney Crosby to take those shots? Could the murky haze hovering over the Steel City be affecting the precision of Crosby's slapshots and the finesse of his wristers? In this puck-uliar research paper, we lace up our skates and venture into the uncharted territory where environmental science meets the world of professional ice hockey.
The connection between environmental pollution and athletic performance may seem as slippery as a freshly resurfaced ice rink, but we are determined to uncover the truth. Our quest involves analyzing the daring exploits of one of hockey's most revered artists, Sidney Crosby, and the invisible adversaries of air pollution in Pittsburgh. It might sound like a zany crossover episode of "The X-Files" and "Hockey Night in Canada," but this investigation is grounded in serious scientific inquiry.
As we embark on this journey, we recognize the inherent absurdity of our endeavor. We're delving into the correlation between potentially harmful air pollutants and the career regular season goals scored by "Sid the Kid," a feat that requires a meticulous examination of statistical data with a generous sprinkle of hockey puns. Let's face it, if there's one thing that's as exhilarating as a hat trick, it's a statistically significant correlation coefficient... or so we hope.
So, grab your lab coat and hockey jersey, because it's time to dig deep into the whimsical web of probability, statistics, and the enigmatic allure of the Crosby effect. In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a dash of puckish humor, we invite you to embark on this whimsical expedition with us, where the goal is to unravel the mystery of how air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring prowess collide. Let's break the ice and hit the puck of knowledge right into the net of discovery!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our investigation into the curious connection between air pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring has led to some puck-uliar, yet compelling, findings. Our analysis of data collected from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League unveiled a standout correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022. This robust correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.6893861 and a p-value of less than 0.01, signifying a significant relationship between the two variables.

We were astonished to find such a strong statistical link between the quality of the air in Pittsburgh and the quantity of goals scored by the formidable hockey ace, Sidney Crosby. It seems that the dense haze hanging over the Steel City may indeed be casting its shadow on Crosby's goal-scoring prowess, much like an opposition defenseman shadowing his every move on the ice.

Fig. 1, the scatterplot included in this study, illustrates the striking correlation between air pollution levels in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring. The figure (not included here but will enhance the visual representation of our findings and puck-tuate the significance of our results with a dash of flair) unmistakably showcases the upward trajectory of Crosby's goal production in tandem with the decline in air quality, weaving a tale of environmental adversities and on-ice achievements.

In essence, our research highlights the unexpected yet palpable influence of environmental pollution on the performance of professional athletes. Moreover, we daresay that our findings under-score the importance of considering environmental factors when analyzing athletic success. This study aims to reinforce the notion that even the most seemingly unrelated variables—like air pollutants and hockey goals—can come together to produce a compelling narrative worthy of further inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The exploration of the relationship between environmental factors and athletic performance has garnered much attention in scientific circles. In "Air Quality and Sports Performance," Smith et al. (2015) expounded on the potential effects of air pollution on professional athletes, shedding light on the multifaceted implications for their endurance, lung capacity, and overall performance. Similarly, Doe and Jones (2018) examined the impact of environmental pollution on cardiovascular health and its potential implications for athletes, providing a comprehensive foundation for understanding the interplay between air quality and physical exertion.
Moving onto non-fiction works closely related to our topic, "The Air Pollution Solution" by Dr. Clean Air presents a comprehensive analysis of the detrimental effects of air pollution on human health and well-being. Likewise, "The Art of Scoring" by Hockey Guru delves into the intricate facets of effective goal scoring in the realm of professional hockey.
However, to add a dash of whimsy to our overly serious review, we mustn't overlook the potential influence of fictional literature on our investigation. Consider the enigmatic allure of "Pucks and Pollution: A Tale of Two Cities" by E. Iceberg, a fictional novel that whimsically explores the unforeseen connections between environmental degradation and the athletic pursuits of a young, scrappy protagonist.
Furthermore, venturing into the realm of children's entertainment, we couldn't resist the temptation to comb through episodes of "Captain Planet and the Planeteers" for insights into environmental stewardship and its impact on physical prowess. While our approach may appear unconventional, it is imperative to cast a wide net of inquiry to fully grasp the intricacies of our research question.
In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a touch of puckish humor, our literature review meanders through both conventional and unconventional sources to lay the groundwork for our unorthodox exploration. With a firm grip on the stick of academic rigor and a keen eye for the mysteriously elusive net of discovery, we endeavor to unravel the intriguing relationship between the murky skies of Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's magnificent goal-scoring feats.

[[RESULTS]]
Our investigation into the curious connection between air pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring has led to some puck-uliar, yet compelling, findings. Our analysis of data collected from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League unveiled a standout correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022. This robust correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.6893861 and a p-value of less than 0.01, signifying a significant relationship between the two variables.
We were astonished to find such a strong statistical link between the quality of the air in Pittsburgh and the quantity of goals scored by the formidable hockey ace, Sidney Crosby. It seems that the dense haze hanging over the Steel City may indeed be casting its shadow on Crosby's goal-scoring prowess, much like an opposition defenseman shadowing his every move on the ice.
Fig. 1, the scatterplot included in this study, illustrates the striking correlation between air pollution levels in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring. The figure (not included here but will enhance the visual representation of our findings and puck-tuate the significance of our results with a dash of flair) unmistakably showcases the upward trajectory of Crosby's goal production in tandem with the decline in air quality, weaving a tale of environmental adversities and on-ice achievements.
In essence, our research highlights the unexpected yet palpable influence of environmental pollution on the performance of professional athletes. Moreover, we daresay that our findings under-score the importance of considering environmental factors when analyzing athletic success. This study aims to reinforce the notion that even the most seemingly unrelated variables—like air pollutants and hockey goals—can come together to produce a compelling narrative worthy of further inquiry.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

In a fascinatingly puck-uliar turn of events, our study has revealed a significant correlation between the quantity of air pollution in Pittsburgh and the quantity of goals scored by none other than the illustrious Sidney Crosby. Our findings not only support prior research on the effects of environmental pollution on athletic performance but also serve as a testament to the whimsical web of connections that intertwine the worlds of science, sports, and serendipitous statistics. While our exploration delved into the serious inquiries of prior researchers, we couldn't resist puck-tuating our study with a playful nod to the unexpected influences that may shape the tapestry of professional athletics.

Our results echoed the sentiments of Smith et al. (2015) and Doe and Jones (2018), who brought attention to the potential impact of air pollution on athletes. It appears that the dense haze enveloping Pittsburgh might not only cloud the skies but also cast a tangible shadow on Crosby's goal-scoring acumen. And just as "The Air Pollution Solution" by Dr. Clean Air outlined the detrimental effects of pollution on human health, our findings unravel a new chapter in the compelling saga of environmental influences on athletic performance. Our analysis, while grounded in rigorous statistical methods, also embraces the whimsical spirit of "Pucks and Pollution: A Tale of Two Cities" by E. Iceberg, illustrating that even the most seemingly outlandish connections can have tangible, statistically robust underpinnings.

The rink of research may be an unconventional arena, but our findings underscore the profound impact of environmental factors on athletic accomplishments. We hope that our study injects a dose of humor and curiosity into the staid world of research, highlighting the importance of considering seemingly bizarre variables in our quest for understanding. As we twirl around the slightly off-kilter intersection of science, sports, and statistical analysis, we invite fellow researchers to embrace the puck-uliar and the unexpected in their own investigations. After all, sometimes the most valuable discoveries emerge from the most unexpected sources–just like an unfathomable assist in the game of scientific inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Air pollution in Pittsburgh and Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
As legendary hockey player Wayne Gretzky once said, "You miss 100% of the shots you don't take," but what if the air pollution in Pittsburgh is making it harder for Sidney Crosby to take those shots? Could the murky haze hovering over the Steel City be affecting the precision of Crosby's slapshots and the finesse of his wristers? In this puck-uliar research paper, we lace up our skates and venture into the uncharted territory where environmental science meets the world of professional ice hockey.
The connection between environmental pollution and athletic performance may seem as slippery as a freshly resurfaced ice rink, but we are determined to uncover the truth. Our quest involves analyzing the daring exploits of one of hockey's most revered artists, Sidney Crosby, and the invisible adversaries of air pollution in Pittsburgh. It might sound like a zany crossover episode of "The X-Files" and "Hockey Night in Canada," but this investigation is grounded in serious scientific inquiry.
As we embark on this journey, we recognize the inherent absurdity of our endeavor. We're delving into the correlation between potentially harmful air pollutants and the career regular season goals scored by "Sid the Kid," a feat that requires a meticulous examination of statistical data with a generous sprinkle of hockey puns. Let's face it, if there's one thing that's as exhilarating as a hat trick, it's a statistically significant correlation coefficient... or so we hope.
So, grab your lab coat and hockey jersey, because it's time to dig deep into the whimsical web of probability, statistics, and the enigmatic allure of the Crosby effect. In the spirit of scientific inquiry and a dash of puckish humor, we invite you to embark on this whimsical expedition with us, where the goal is to unravel the mystery of how air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring prowess collide. Let's break the ice and hit the puck of knowledge right into the net of discovery!

[[RESULTS]]
Our investigation into the curious connection between air pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring has led to some puck-uliar, yet compelling, findings. Our analysis of data collected from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League unveiled a standout correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022. This robust correlation was further supported by an r-squared value of 0.6893861 and a p-value of less than 0.01, signifying a significant relationship between the two variables.
We were astonished to find such a strong statistical link between the quality of the air in Pittsburgh and the quantity of goals scored by the formidable hockey ace, Sidney Crosby. It seems that the dense haze hanging over the Steel City may indeed be casting its shadow on Crosby's goal-scoring prowess, much like an opposition defenseman shadowing his every move on the ice.
Fig. 1, the scatterplot included in this study, illustrates the striking correlation between air pollution levels in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring. The figure (not included here but will enhance the visual representation of our findings and puck-tuate the significance of our results with a dash of flair) unmistakably showcases the upward trajectory of Crosby's goal production in tandem with the decline in air quality, weaving a tale of environmental adversities and on-ice achievements.
In essence, our research highlights the unexpected yet palpable influence of environmental pollution on the performance of professional athletes. Moreover, we daresay that our findings under-score the importance of considering environmental factors when analyzing athletic success. This study aims to reinforce the notion that even the most seemingly unrelated variables—like air pollutants and hockey goals—can come together to produce a compelling narrative worthy of further inquiry.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our puck-uliar exploration into the relationship between air pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's regular season goal scoring has left us skating on thin ice and gasping for breath. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 affirm the striking connection between the quality of the air and Crosby's ability to light the lamp. It seems that the murky haze isn't just an environmental concern; it might be the unseen rival challenging Crosby's scoring prowess on the ice!

As we wrap up this slapstick - or rather, slapshot - of a study, we can't help but marvel at the unexpected marriage of science and sports. It's as if we've stumbled onto the "string" theory of hockey, unraveling a web of interconnectedness that's as mind-boggling as a Zamboni doing figure eights.

But fear not, dear readers, for our findings have bolstered the notion that, indeed, environmental factors play a critical role in athletic achievement. It turns out that the air quality in Pittsburgh isn't just a matter of public health; it's also a formidable opponent in the game of goals.

In the grand scheme of scientific inquiry, we've scored a hat trick of knowledge, proving that even the most seemingly incongruous variables can form a formidable power play. And just like a game-winning goal in overtime, our discovery puck-marks a turning point in the intersection of environmental science and sports analysis.

In the immortal words of hockey legend, Bobby Orr, "There's no more scientific mystery to uncover here!" We assert that no more research is needed in this area – it's time to let these findings drift into the annals of quirky scientific alliances, where hockey sticks and air pollution dance in a whimsical waltz of statistical significance.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Sports Science and Environmental Epidemiology


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Center for Atmospheric Analytics and Sports Performance


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Hockey and Haze: The Puck-uliar Relationship Between Air Pollution in Pittsburgh and Sidney Crosby's Regular Season Goal Scoring with an abstract of In this study, we boldly skate into the intersection of environmental pollution and professional hockey prowess. Through an analysis of data from the Environmental Protection Agency and the National Hockey League, we sought to unravel the perplexing link between air quality in the Pittsburgh area and the career regular season goals scored by veteran ice maestro Sidney Crosby. Our findings revealed a substantial correlation coefficient of 0.8302928 and a p-value of less than 0.01 for the period spanning 2002 to 2022, indicating a robust relationship between air pollution and Crosby's goal-scoring performance. we ventured into the wild world of sports and science to find that, indeed, the common refrain of "Crosby can't breathe out there" may hold some truth! With this research, we aim to elevate the importance of environmental factors in athletic performance and to encourage further exploration of the quirky connections between air quality and athletic achievement.

ChatGPT:

air pollution, Pittsburgh, Sidney Crosby, regular season goals, National Hockey League, environmental pollution, professional hockey, correlation coefficient, p-value, athletic performance, air quality, data analysis

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Air pollution in Pittsburgh
Detailed data title: Percentage of days 'unhealthy' or worse air quality in Pittsburgh, PA
Source: Environmental Protection Agency
See what else correlates with Air pollution in Pittsburgh

Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby
Source: NHL
See what else correlates with Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby

Correlation r = 0.8302928 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.6893861 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 68.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Air pollution in Pittsburgh) over the 21 years from 2002 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 3.2E-6. 0.0000031975154872864473000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.83 in 0.00032% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 312,743 random variables You don't actually need 312 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 20 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 20 because we have two variables measured over a period of 21 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.62, 0.93 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
Air pollution in Pittsburgh (Bad air quality days)10.68495.479454.644817.397264.109596.575343.005461.369864.109591.095891.366120.2739730.2739730.2739730.2732240.2739730.2739731.0958900.2739730.273973
Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby (Goals scored)95725678473624335532815362836442935162431




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([10.6849,5.47945,4.64481,7.39726,4.10959,6.57534,3.00546,1.36986,4.10959,1.09589,1.36612,0.273973,0.273973,0.273973,0.273224,0.273973,0.273973,1.09589,0,0.273973,0.273973,])
array_2 = np.array([95,72,56,78,47,36,24,33,55,32,8,15,36,28,36,44,29,35,16,24,31,])
array_1_name = "Air pollution in Pittsburgh"
array_2_name = "Career regular season goals scored by Sidney Crosby"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 1949 · Black Variable ID: 21064 · Red Variable ID: 348
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