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Spurious correlation #1,881 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Milk consumption and the second variable is Arson in Washington.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As milk consumption decreased, there was a corresponding decrease in lactose intolerance-related discomfort. This led to a reduction in overall irritability and spontaneous combustion incidents, ultimately contributing to a decrease in arson cases in Washington.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generating prompt... "[ A photo-realistic image ] of a suburban neighborhood in Washington. In the foreground, a person sits on their porch, savoring a glass of ice-cold milk. In the background, a firefighter is visible, extinguishing a small fire set by an arsonist in a nearby park. The scene is calm yet charged with a sense of urgency and community unity." The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Cutsy graphics A photo-realistic image A scene from Skyrim Scalar art A scene from Skyrim
ChatGPT: A photo-realistic image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Milk consumption and Arson in Washington together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quiet neighborhood in Washington, a person sits on their porch drinking a glass of cold milk while watching a firefighter putting out a small fire that was set by an arsonist in a nearby park.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A photo-realistic image ] and depicting this scene: In a quiet neighborhood in Washington, a person sits on their porch drinking a glass of cold milk while watching a firefighter putting out a small fire that was set by an arsonist in a nearby park. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generating prompt... "[ A photo-realistic image ] of a suburban neighborhood in Washington. In the foreground, a person sits on their porch, savoring a glass of ice-cold milk. In the background, a firefighter is visible, extinguishing a small fire set by an arsonist in a nearby park. The scene is calm yet charged with a sense of urgency and community unity."

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Milk consumption caused Arson in Washington to decrease. Make it feel plausible.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

The Dairy Dynamics Journal

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

When it comes to unexpected correlations, one might assume that milk consumption and arson have about as much in common as a cow and a fire extinguisher. Nevertheless, our study takes the bull by the horns and investigates the curious relationship between these seemingly unrelated phenomena in the state of Washington. The aim is to shed light on whether there's fire where there's dairy, or if this purported connection is simply the result of statistical mooo-vements.

As the dairy industry continues to be an undeniably significant part of the American economy, it is important to explore any potential ramifications of its products on public behavior. Furthermore, fire safety is a matter of utmost importance, and understanding any link between milk intake and arson could have profound implications for preventing malicious mischief. Our study sets out to provide a thoughtful examination of this peculiar correlation, and to milk the data for all its worth in the pursuit of scientific inquiry.

So, saddle up and grab your lassos, because we are about to embark on a wild ride through the verdant pastures of statistical analysis and bovine behavior. Let's separate the cream from the curds and delve into the heart of this utterly intriguing conundrum, because when it comes to exploring the unexpected, it's important not to have a steaking bias. After all, the truth may be just one lactose-tolerant sip away!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
When it comes to unexpected correlations, one might assume that milk consumption and arson have about as much in common as a cow and a fire extinguisher. Nevertheless, our study takes the bull by the horns and investigates the curious relationship between these seemingly unrelated phenomena in the state of Washington. The aim is to shed light on whether there's fire where there's dairy, or if this purported connection is simply the result of statistical mooo-vements.
As the dairy industry continues to be an undeniably significant part of the American economy, it is important to explore any potential ramifications of its products on public behavior. Furthermore, fire safety is a matter of utmost importance, and understanding any link between milk intake and arson could have profound implications for preventing malicious mischief. Our study sets out to provide a thoughtful examination of this peculiar correlation, and to milk the data for all its worth in the pursuit of scientific inquiry.
So, saddle up and grab your lassos, because we are about to embark on a wild ride through the verdant pastures of statistical analysis and bovine behavior. Let's separate the cream from the curds and delve into the heart of this utterly intriguing conundrum, because when it comes to exploring the unexpected, it's important not to have a steaking bias. After all, the truth may be just one lactose-tolerant sip away!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Milk and Misdemeanors" by Smith, the authors find compelling evidence suggesting a positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of arson in urban areas. The study highlights the need for further exploration into the potential causal mechanisms underlying this unexpected relationship. Similarly, Doe's investigation in "Dairy Delinquency" unravels an intriguing association between lactose intake and malicious mischief, igniting heated discussions within the academic community.

Jones also delves into the psychological aspects of dairy consumption and deviant behavior in "The Curious Case of Cow Crimes," offering insights into the potential role of calcium deficiency in sparking criminal tendencies. The research team's thorough review of literature reveals a veritable dairy farm of theories and hypotheses, from the lactose-induced delirium to the infamous "cereal-killer" connection between milk consumption and pyromania.

Beyond the academic sphere, real-life stories in "Got Milk, Got Matches" and "The Dairy Diaries" shed light on the anecdotal experiences of individuals caught in the web of milk-related shenanigans. As if these findings weren't cheesy enough, fictional works such as "The Arsonist's Almanac" and "Milk Mayhem: The Udder Truth" add a layer of intrigue to the debate, pushing the boundaries of bovine-inspired criminality.

Interestingly, childhood favorites such as "Moo-tastic Mysteries" and "The Adventures of Super Bovine" also play a role in shaping perceptions of the dairy-arson nexus from an early age. These whimsical tales serve as a reminder that the connection between milk consumption and misdemeanor may have deeper roots than previously thought, highlighting the need for a thorough investigation into the role of cow-related content in shaping behavioral patterns.

As our team juggled through this udderly absurd literature, it became clear that the subject of milk and mayhem is no laughing matter – though it certainly provides ample fodder for some calcium-infused humor. The implications of our findings reach far beyond the barnyard, offering fresh perspectives on the intersection of dairy products and delinquent behavior. But hey, no need to cry over spilt milk – unless, of course, it's spilt in the context of an ongoing arson investigation!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

[[INTRODUCTION]]
When it comes to unexpected correlations, one might assume that milk consumption and arson have about as much in common as a cow and a fire extinguisher. Nevertheless, our study takes the bull by the horns and investigates the curious relationship between these seemingly unrelated phenomena in the state of Washington. The aim is to shed light on whether there's fire where there's dairy, or if this purported connection is simply the result of statistical mooo-vements.
As the dairy industry continues to be an undeniably significant part of the American economy, it is important to explore any potential ramifications of its products on public behavior. Furthermore, fire safety is a matter of utmost importance, and understanding any link between milk intake and arson could have profound implications for preventing malicious mischief. Our study sets out to provide a thoughtful examination of this peculiar correlation, and to milk the data for all its worth in the pursuit of scientific inquiry.
So, saddle up and grab your lassos, because we are about to embark on a wild ride through the verdant pastures of statistical analysis and bovine behavior. Let's separate the cream from the curds and delve into the heart of this utterly intriguing conundrum, because when it comes to exploring the unexpected, it's important not to have a steaking bias. After all, the truth may be just one lactose-tolerant sip away!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

In order to churn out insights into the curious correlation between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington, our research team adopted a methodological approach that was as methodical as it was utterly pun-tastic.

Data Collection:
Our team sourced data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, utilizing records spanning from 1990 to 2021. We meticulously combed through reports on milk production, consumption, and distribution, as well as data on arson incidents and related criminal activities. The process involved a significant amount of "moo-ving" through databases and "udderly" meticulous record-keeping to ensure the accuracy and comprehensiveness of the information.

Quantitative Analysis:
Once the data had been gathered, our team applied a variety of statistical methods to unravel the potential associations between milk consumption and arson. Through the application of sophisticated regression analyses, we aimed to separate the whey from the chaff and identify any robust patterns that could shed light on the purported link between these dairy products and fiery felonies.

Control Variables and Multivariate Analysis:
To ensure the integrity of our findings, we also controlled for various socio-economic factors, population density, weather patterns, and other variables that could potentially confound the relationship between milk consumption and arson. We employed multivariate models that allowed us to "milk" as much explanatory power as possible from the data, while ensuring that our results were both rigorous and as creamy-smooth as a perfect latte.

Sensitivity Analysis:
In the spirit of thoroughness, our research team subjected the data to sensitivity analyses, examining the robustness of our findings under different model specifications and statistical assumptions. This process involved a careful dissection of the data's "udder" vulnerabilities, ensuring that our conclusions were not merely the result of statistical "bull."

Ethical Considerations:
Throughout the research process, we were mindful of the ethical implications of our work. As such, we adhered to the principles of data privacy and confidentiality, treating the information with the utmost care and respect. Just as a responsible dairy farmer tends to their herd, we cultivated an environment of trust and security around the data, ensuring that it was handled with the same level of diligence and commitment as the freshest batch of milk.

In conclusion, our methodology can be summed up as a "moo-tivating" blend of rigorous statistical analyses, thorough data collection, and a commitment to ethical research practices. By bringing together these diverse elements, we aimed to produce findings that were as refreshing and insightful as a cold glass of milk on a hot summer day. So, "dairy" not be deceived by the seriousness of our academic jargon – after all, when it comes to exploring the unexpected, a sense of humor may be the most "moo-valous" asset of all!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9137743, r-squared of 0.8349836, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
When it comes to unexpected correlations, one might assume that milk consumption and arson have about as much in common as a cow and a fire extinguisher. Nevertheless, our study takes the bull by the horns and investigates the curious relationship between these seemingly unrelated phenomena in the state of Washington. The aim is to shed light on whether there's fire where there's dairy, or if this purported connection is simply the result of statistical mooo-vements.
As the dairy industry continues to be an undeniably significant part of the American economy, it is important to explore any potential ramifications of its products on public behavior. Furthermore, fire safety is a matter of utmost importance, and understanding any link between milk intake and arson could have profound implications for preventing malicious mischief. Our study sets out to provide a thoughtful examination of this peculiar correlation, and to milk the data for all its worth in the pursuit of scientific inquiry.
So, saddle up and grab your lassos, because we are about to embark on a wild ride through the verdant pastures of statistical analysis and bovine behavior. Let's separate the cream from the curds and delve into the heart of this utterly intriguing conundrum, because when it comes to exploring the unexpected, it's important not to have a steaking bias. After all, the truth may be just one lactose-tolerant sip away!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of the data regarding milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington revealed a surprisingly robust correlation. Our research findings indicate a correlation coefficient of 0.9137743, with an r-squared value of 0.8349836 and a p-value less than 0.01, encompassing the years 1990 to 2021. These results suggest a strongly positive association between milk consumption and the incidence of arson crimes in the state.

When we visualized the relationship between milk consumption and arson in Washington, the data manifested in a scatterplot (Fig. 1), elucidating the strikingly linear pattern that reflects this significant correlation. The figure clearly demonstrates the compelling connection between the two seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data is udderly determined to show the truth, refusing to be cowed by preconceived notions about the unlikelihood of such a correlation.

The strength and consistency of this correlation raise a barnyard full of intriguing questions. Is there a clandestine connection between the comfort of a glass of milk and the heat of criminal activity, or is this simply a case of statistical haywire? Our findings invite us to ponder the unimaginable possibility that milk might be exerting a profound influence on the behavior of individuals in relation to arson.

It is important to note that correlation does not imply causation, and we must approach these findings with caution. While we acknowledge the allure of sensationalizing the notion of milk-fueled mayhem, it is imperative to conduct further research to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. We must not jump to conclusions until we have thoroughly milked the data for all its worth and analyzed other potential factors that could explain this intriguing relationship.

In conclusion, our research presents a compelling body of evidence pointing to a strong correlation between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. These findings not only challenge conventional wisdom but also open the barn doors to a myriad of further inquiries. As we contemplate the implications of these results, it is clear that we are standing at the cusp of a remarkably unexpected frontier in understanding the interplay of dairy products and criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to unexpected correlations, the truth can often be found in the mooo-st unlikely places!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Milk and Misdemeanors" by Smith, the authors find compelling evidence suggesting a positive correlation between milk consumption and the incidence of arson in urban areas. The study highlights the need for further exploration into the potential causal mechanisms underlying this unexpected relationship. Similarly, Doe's investigation in "Dairy Delinquency" unravels an intriguing association between lactose intake and malicious mischief, igniting heated discussions within the academic community.
Jones also delves into the psychological aspects of dairy consumption and deviant behavior in "The Curious Case of Cow Crimes," offering insights into the potential role of calcium deficiency in sparking criminal tendencies. The research team's thorough review of literature reveals a veritable dairy farm of theories and hypotheses, from the lactose-induced delirium to the infamous "cereal-killer" connection between milk consumption and pyromania.
Beyond the academic sphere, real-life stories in "Got Milk, Got Matches" and "The Dairy Diaries" shed light on the anecdotal experiences of individuals caught in the web of milk-related shenanigans. As if these findings weren't cheesy enough, fictional works such as "The Arsonist's Almanac" and "Milk Mayhem: The Udder Truth" add a layer of intrigue to the debate, pushing the boundaries of bovine-inspired criminality.
Interestingly, childhood favorites such as "Moo-tastic Mysteries" and "The Adventures of Super Bovine" also play a role in shaping perceptions of the dairy-arson nexus from an early age. These whimsical tales serve as a reminder that the connection between milk consumption and misdemeanor may have deeper roots than previously thought, highlighting the need for a thorough investigation into the role of cow-related content in shaping behavioral patterns.
As our team juggled through this udderly absurd literature, it became clear that the subject of milk and mayhem is no laughing matter – though it certainly provides ample fodder for some calcium-infused humor. The implications of our findings reach far beyond the barnyard, offering fresh perspectives on the intersection of dairy products and delinquent behavior. But hey, no need to cry over spilt milk – unless, of course, it's spilt in the context of an ongoing arson investigation!

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the data regarding milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington revealed a surprisingly robust correlation. Our research findings indicate a correlation coefficient of 0.9137743, with an r-squared value of 0.8349836 and a p-value less than 0.01, encompassing the years 1990 to 2021. These results suggest a strongly positive association between milk consumption and the incidence of arson crimes in the state.
When we visualized the relationship between milk consumption and arson in Washington, the data manifested in a scatterplot (Fig. 1), elucidating the strikingly linear pattern that reflects this significant correlation. The figure clearly demonstrates the compelling connection between the two seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data is udderly determined to show the truth, refusing to be cowed by preconceived notions about the unlikelihood of such a correlation.
The strength and consistency of this correlation raise a barnyard full of intriguing questions. Is there a clandestine connection between the comfort of a glass of milk and the heat of criminal activity, or is this simply a case of statistical haywire? Our findings invite us to ponder the unimaginable possibility that milk might be exerting a profound influence on the behavior of individuals in relation to arson.
It is important to note that correlation does not imply causation, and we must approach these findings with caution. While we acknowledge the allure of sensationalizing the notion of milk-fueled mayhem, it is imperative to conduct further research to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. We must not jump to conclusions until we have thoroughly milked the data for all its worth and analyzed other potential factors that could explain this intriguing relationship.
In conclusion, our research presents a compelling body of evidence pointing to a strong correlation between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. These findings not only challenge conventional wisdom but also open the barn doors to a myriad of further inquiries. As we contemplate the implications of these results, it is clear that we are standing at the cusp of a remarkably unexpected frontier in understanding the interplay of dairy products and criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to unexpected correlations, the truth can often be found in the mooo-st unlikely places!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have shed some light on the startling association between milk consumption and arson in Washington. While the idea of a cow-led crime spree might seem utterly ridiculous at first glance, our results confirm and build upon the work of previous researchers who have dared to tackle this enigmatic udderworld.

In delving into "Milk and Misdemeanors" by Smith and "Dairy Delinquency" by Doe, we discovered a lactose-rich reservoir of evidence pointing toward a connection between dairy intake and deviant behavior. With our research yielding a correlation coefficient of 0.9137743, it appears that these previous studies were not just pulling the udder. The almost udderly high correlation coefficient suggests that there is more to this lactose-laden puzzle than meets the eye.

As we milk our findings for all they're worth, it is evident that our results support the previous literature's contention that there is indeed a correlation between milk consumption and arson. It seems that the dairy industry may need to consider adding 'fire safety' to their promotional campaigns, and firefighters might want to consider stashing some calcium-packed dairy products on their trucks alongside their hoses.

The implications of calcium-enriched criminality do not stop with mere curiosity. Instead, these findings have real-world implications for fire safety, dietary habits, and potentially even public policy. Although we must remain cautious not to leap to the assumption that milk directly fuels criminal activities, our results certainly warrant further investigation into the mechanisms underlying this intriguing relationship.

Our results may have confounded expectations, but as the old saying goes, the proof of the pudding is in the eating. It may be time to take a deeper look at the role of dairy products in societal norms and behavioral patterns. After all, when it comes to milk and its mysterious machinations, perhaps we've been living in the dairy dark for too long.

In this dairy interesting field of research, our findings have churned up more than we dared to expect. It's time to throw caution to the wind and milk this bizarre connection for all it's worth. After all, when it comes to the unlikely partnership between milk and mayhem, we must be prepared to embrace the unexpected and reframe our perspectives, even if we are feeling a little cheesy about it at first.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Milk consumption and Arson in Washington. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington

[[ABSTRACT]]
Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

[[INTRDUCTION]]
When it comes to unexpected correlations, one might assume that milk consumption and arson have about as much in common as a cow and a fire extinguisher. Nevertheless, our study takes the bull by the horns and investigates the curious relationship between these seemingly unrelated phenomena in the state of Washington. The aim is to shed light on whether there's fire where there's dairy, or if this purported connection is simply the result of statistical mooo-vements.
As the dairy industry continues to be an undeniably significant part of the American economy, it is important to explore any potential ramifications of its products on public behavior. Furthermore, fire safety is a matter of utmost importance, and understanding any link between milk intake and arson could have profound implications for preventing malicious mischief. Our study sets out to provide a thoughtful examination of this peculiar correlation, and to milk the data for all its worth in the pursuit of scientific inquiry.
So, saddle up and grab your lassos, because we are about to embark on a wild ride through the verdant pastures of statistical analysis and bovine behavior. Let's separate the cream from the curds and delve into the heart of this utterly intriguing conundrum, because when it comes to exploring the unexpected, it's important not to have a steaking bias. After all, the truth may be just one lactose-tolerant sip away!

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the data regarding milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington revealed a surprisingly robust correlation. Our research findings indicate a correlation coefficient of 0.9137743, with an r-squared value of 0.8349836 and a p-value less than 0.01, encompassing the years 1990 to 2021. These results suggest a strongly positive association between milk consumption and the incidence of arson crimes in the state.
When we visualized the relationship between milk consumption and arson in Washington, the data manifested in a scatterplot (Fig. 1), elucidating the strikingly linear pattern that reflects this significant correlation. The figure clearly demonstrates the compelling connection between the two seemingly disparate variables. It's as if the data is udderly determined to show the truth, refusing to be cowed by preconceived notions about the unlikelihood of such a correlation.
The strength and consistency of this correlation raise a barnyard full of intriguing questions. Is there a clandestine connection between the comfort of a glass of milk and the heat of criminal activity, or is this simply a case of statistical haywire? Our findings invite us to ponder the unimaginable possibility that milk might be exerting a profound influence on the behavior of individuals in relation to arson.
It is important to note that correlation does not imply causation, and we must approach these findings with caution. While we acknowledge the allure of sensationalizing the notion of milk-fueled mayhem, it is imperative to conduct further research to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. We must not jump to conclusions until we have thoroughly milked the data for all its worth and analyzed other potential factors that could explain this intriguing relationship.
In conclusion, our research presents a compelling body of evidence pointing to a strong correlation between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. These findings not only challenge conventional wisdom but also open the barn doors to a myriad of further inquiries. As we contemplate the implications of these results, it is clear that we are standing at the cusp of a remarkably unexpected frontier in understanding the interplay of dairy products and criminal behavior. After all, when it comes to unexpected correlations, the truth can often be found in the mooo-st unlikely places!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In the ever-expanding pasture of research, our investigation into the connection between milk consumption and arson in Washington has yielded utterly tantalizing results. The data has churned out a correlation so robust, it's almost impossible to milk the idea that there isn't something truly significant afoot. However, before we start launching "Got Milk, Got Arson" campaigns, it's crucial to remember that correlation is not causation. It could be that dairy lovers are simply more likely to feel the heat, or that lactose-intolerant individuals are seeking revenge for being left out of the ice cream socials. The possibilities are as diverse as a cheese platter at a wine tasting.

Nonetheless, it's clear that this bovine-criminality nexus is not something to be dismissed with a mere "moo-ve" along. The implications for public safety and the dairy industry are as weighty as a fully loaded wheel of brie. So, while we've milked this data for all it's worth and uncovered a udderly fascinating correlation, it's time to say that no further research in this area is needed. After all, when it comes to studying milk and arson, we've already curdled enough attention!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Dairy Dynamics Journal


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Bovine Behavior Research Institute


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Moo-tivation or Mischief: Milk Consumption and Malicious Misdemeanors in Washington with an abstract of Got milk? Got arson? We delved into the udderly absurd connection between milk consumption and arson in the state of Washington. This study milks the data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to churn out some dairy interesting findings. Our research team found a compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9137743 and p < 0.01 for the years 1990 to 2021, suggesting a strong association between the two. But before you cry over spilt milk, let's take a moment to ruminate on the sheer lactose of this correlation. Could it be a case of udder coincidence, or is there a deeper, creamier explanation? Our findings hold significant implications for the dairy industry, fire safety measures, and the overall understanding of the bovine-criminality nexus. So, grab a glass of milk and let's dive into this utterly captivating study, because when it comes to tackling arson, it's no time to be a lactose-intolerant!

ChatGPT:

milk consumption, arson, correlation coefficient, USDA, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, dairy industry, fire safety measures, bovine-criminality nexus

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Milk consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Fluid beverage milk in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Milk consumption

Arson in Washington
Detailed data title: The arson rate per 100,000 residents in Washington
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Arson in Washington

Correlation r = 0.9137743 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8349836 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 83.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Arson in Washington) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Milk consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.9E-13. 0.0000000000002878628319538037
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.91 in 2.9E-11% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 3,473,876,753,080 random variables You don't actually need 3 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.83, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Milk consumption (Pounds per person)220218215210208205205201198197196192191188185185185183181181177173169164158155153149145141141134
Arson in Washington (Arson rate)3740.5463745.139.63635.138.334.336.334.534.234.934.432.533.229.424.623.620.319.318.516.116.717.715.515.114.712.917.620.8




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([220,218,215,210,208,205,205,201,198,197,196,192,191,188,185,185,185,183,181,181,177,173,169,164,158,155,153,149,145,141,141,134,])
array_2 = np.array([37,40.5,46,37,45.1,39.6,36,35.1,38.3,34.3,36.3,34.5,34.2,34.9,34.4,32.5,33.2,29.4,24.6,23.6,20.3,19.3,18.5,16.1,16.7,17.7,15.5,15.1,14.7,12.9,17.6,20.8,])
array_1_name = "Milk consumption"
array_2_name = "Arson in Washington"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 1881 · Black Variable ID: 554 · Red Variable ID: 20074
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