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Spurious correlation #1,848 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Violent crime rates.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

Well, you see, this all has to do with the curds and whey content in cottage cheese. It turns out that the lumpy texture of cottage cheese is a calming influence on people. It's like a natural stress ball for your stomach. So, when folks stopped eating as much cottage cheese, they lost that inner tranquility, leading to a decrease in their patience. This, in turn, resulted in a lower threshold for engaging in violent behavior. Who would have thought that a dairy product could be the unsung hero in crime prevention? It's just a curdled conundrum!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image depicting a serene small town with quaint outdoor tables where residents are leisurely enjoying cottage cheese, while a group of police officers patrols the peaceful streets, maintaining a watchful presence to ensure community safety. Emphasize the contrast between the relaxed atmosphere at the tables and the vigilant patrol by the officers. Capture the essence of the town's tranquil ambiance and the officers' dedication to public safety. The rendering should align with the style of a Discovery magazine cover image, displaying a rich blend of realism and visual storytelling. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A Discovery magazine cover image Art nouveau Futuristic Concept art Cyberpunk
ChatGPT: Discovery magazine cover image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: A small town where people sit at outdoor tables enjoying cottage cheese, while a group of police officers patrols the calm streets, keeping an eye out for any signs of violent crime.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Discovery magazine cover image ] and depicting this scene: A small town where people sit at outdoor tables enjoying cottage cheese, while a group of police officers patrols the calm streets, keeping an eye out for any signs of violent crime. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image depicting a serene small town with quaint outdoor tables where residents are leisurely enjoying cottage cheese, while a group of police officers patrols the peaceful streets, maintaining a watchful presence to ensure community safety. Emphasize the contrast between the relaxed atmosphere at the tables and the vigilant patrol by the officers. Capture the essence of the town's tranquil ambiance and the officers' dedication to public safety. The rendering should align with the style of a Discovery magazine cover image, displaying a rich blend of realism and visual storytelling.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Violent crime rates to decrease. Make it feel plausible.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

The Journal of Dairy Delinquency Research

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Include a pun in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The ubiquitous nature of violent crime in modern society has led researchers to investigate a myriad of potential contributing factors, ranging from socioeconomic conditions to cultural influences. However, in the annals of crime research, one curious and seemingly unrelated variable has received scant attention: cottage cheese consumption. Indeed, the notion that this innocuous dairy product could hold any sway over criminal behavior may appear utterly preposterous at first glance. Nonetheless, the purpose of this study is to earnestly explore the potential connection between the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of violent crime.

The profound mystery surrounding the relationship between cottage cheese and violent crime has piqued the interest of aficionados of both criminology and dairying alike. Despite initial skepticism, a thorough examination of available data from 1990 to 2021 has revealed an unexpected and robust correlation between these seemingly incongruous phenomena. This investigation sought to uncover whether this correlation, as improbable as it may seem, holds any substantive merit or if it is merely a serendipitous anomaly.

The hypothesis underlying this study draws upon the assumption that the consumption of cottage cheese, a dietary staple esteemed by health-conscious individuals, may have a mitigating effect on aggressive behavior. Conversely, the absence of cottage cheese in the diet could conceivably be associated with an increased proclivity toward violent actions. While the mere suggestion of such a link may prompt skepticism (or perhaps provoke a chuckle), it is our responsibility as researchers to approach this inquiry with the utmost seriousness, or at least with a dairy-tinged sense of humor.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some cartoons and childrens' shows that you watched that are related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The ubiquitous nature of violent crime in modern society has led researchers to investigate a myriad of potential contributing factors, ranging from socioeconomic conditions to cultural influences. However, in the annals of crime research, one curious and seemingly unrelated variable has received scant attention: cottage cheese consumption. Indeed, the notion that this innocuous dairy product could hold any sway over criminal behavior may appear utterly preposterous at first glance. Nonetheless, the purpose of this study is to earnestly explore the potential connection between the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of violent crime.
The profound mystery surrounding the relationship between cottage cheese and violent crime has piqued the interest of aficionados of both criminology and dairying alike. Despite initial skepticism, a thorough examination of available data from 1990 to 2021 has revealed an unexpected and robust correlation between these seemingly incongruous phenomena. This investigation sought to uncover whether this correlation, as improbable as it may seem, holds any substantive merit or if it is merely a serendipitous anomaly.
The hypothesis underlying this study draws upon the assumption that the consumption of cottage cheese, a dietary staple esteemed by health-conscious individuals, may have a mitigating effect on aggressive behavior. Conversely, the absence of cottage cheese in the diet could conceivably be associated with an increased proclivity toward violent actions. While the mere suggestion of such a link may prompt skepticism (or perhaps provoke a chuckle), it is our responsibility as researchers to approach this inquiry with the utmost seriousness, or at least with a dairy-tinged sense of humor.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The investigation of the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates has sparked a surprising array of scholarly inquiry. A number of notable studies have grappled with the association between dietary habits and criminal behavior, although the inclusion of cottage cheese as a focal point remains an intriguing novelty in the academic discourse.

In "Dairy Dynamics: Exploring the Influence of Milk Products on Human Behavior," Smith et al. posited the theory that dairy consumption, including cottage cheese, may exert a subtle influence on neurochemical processes, potentially influencing mood and emotional regulation. The authors find a significant correlation between overall dairy intake and self-reported aggression levels, laying the theoretical groundwork for investigating the specific impact of cottage cheese within the broader dairy context.

Further, in "The Cerebral and Curdy Connection: Exploring the Neural Effects of Cottage Cheese," Doe et al. conducted a neuroimaging study examining the neural responses of participants after consuming cottage cheese. Remarkably, their findings suggest that the consumption of cottage cheese may activate regions of the brain associated with calmness and tranquility, providing intriguing preliminary evidence for a potential neurobiological link between cottage cheese and violent behavior.

Jones et al., in the study "Dairy and Disorder: Exploring the Dietary Correlates of Criminal Behavior," sought to elucidate the role of different dairy products, including cottage cheese, in the manifestation of criminal conduct. Their analysis revealed a statistically significant negative relationship between per capita cottage cheese consumption and reported incidents of violent crime at the county level, prompting speculation on the potential preventative properties of this curd-like comestible.

However, it is important to note the diversity of possible influences on human behavior. The literature also includes a variety of unconventional sources that may shed light on this unexpected association. The tome "Cheese and Chaos: The Dairy Chronicles of Deviance" by Lorem delves into the historical entanglement of dairy consumption and societal upheaval, presenting a compelling argument for the untold impact of cheese-related products on human behavior.

Moreover, the fictional narrative "The Case of the Malevolent Mozzarella" by Ipsum offers a whimsical exploration of a world where dairy products hold the key to unravelling criminal mysteries, showcasing the enduring fascination with attributing sinister significance to seemingly benign edibles.

Moving further afield, one cannot discount the potentially formative influence of childhood media on the human psyche. Cartoons such as "The Adventures of Curdle and Crimefighter" and children's shows like "Cottage Cheese Chronicles" have subtly reinforced the cultural association between cottage cheese and crime fighting, suggesting a permeation of this dietary product into the collective unconscious as a force for justice and order. While these lighthearted references may seem tangential, they speak to the enduring cultural and literary fascination with the potential interplay between cottage cheese and criminality.

In sum, the existing literature provides a springboard for our exploration of the potential impact of cottage cheese consumption on violent crime rates. While the initial premise may elicit a wry smile, the breadth and depth of these findings demand rigorous inquiry into the compellingly curious connection between cottage cheese and criminal behavior.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The ubiquitous nature of violent crime in modern society has led researchers to investigate a myriad of potential contributing factors, ranging from socioeconomic conditions to cultural influences. However, in the annals of crime research, one curious and seemingly unrelated variable has received scant attention: cottage cheese consumption. Indeed, the notion that this innocuous dairy product could hold any sway over criminal behavior may appear utterly preposterous at first glance. Nonetheless, the purpose of this study is to earnestly explore the potential connection between the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of violent crime.
The profound mystery surrounding the relationship between cottage cheese and violent crime has piqued the interest of aficionados of both criminology and dairying alike. Despite initial skepticism, a thorough examination of available data from 1990 to 2021 has revealed an unexpected and robust correlation between these seemingly incongruous phenomena. This investigation sought to uncover whether this correlation, as improbable as it may seem, holds any substantive merit or if it is merely a serendipitous anomaly.
The hypothesis underlying this study draws upon the assumption that the consumption of cottage cheese, a dietary staple esteemed by health-conscious individuals, may have a mitigating effect on aggressive behavior. Conversely, the absence of cottage cheese in the diet could conceivably be associated with an increased proclivity toward violent actions. While the mere suggestion of such a link may prompt skepticism (or perhaps provoke a chuckle), it is our responsibility as researchers to approach this inquiry with the utmost seriousness, or at least with a dairy-tinged sense of humor.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

The present study employed a mixed-methods approach to scrutinize the possible correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates. A comprehensive dataset was meticulously curated from multiple sources, primarily drawing upon information from the USDA and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. The data spanned a period of three decades, commencing from 1990 and culminating in 2021.

To operationalize the concept of cottage cheese consumption, we undertook an exhaustive review of household expenditure surveys, dietary intake assessments, and statistical reports from dairy industry organizations. These disparate sources were then harmonized to derive a consolidated estimation of cottage cheese consumption patterns across the study period.

In parallel, violent crime rates were ascertained through official crime statistics compiled by law enforcement agencies and judicial bodies. Utilizing robust statistical methodologies, the incidence of violent crimes such as homicides, aggravated assaults, and robberies was captured and standardized to facilitate cross-temporal comparisons.

Furthermore, to control for potential confounding variables and spurious correlations, a series of sensitivity analyses and robustness checks were conducted. Socioeconomic indicators, dietary habits, urbanization levels, and law enforcement expenditures were among the covariates scrutinized in our analytical framework.

In order to analyze the complex relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates, various statistical techniques were employed, including time-series analysis, panel data models, and structural equation modeling. These methodological choices were informed by the necessity to account for the longitudinal nature of the data and to capture the dynamic interplay between the variables under investigation.

Moreover, a series of sensitivity analyses and robustness checks were conducted. Socioeconomic indicators, dietary habits, urbanization levels, and law enforcement expenditures were among the additional covariates scrutinized in our analytical framework.

It is to be noted that while the rigidity and complexity of our methodology may seem a bit cheesy, we are confident that our approach has allowed for a thorough and reliable examination of the intriguing nexus between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8852787, r-squared of 0.7837185, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The ubiquitous nature of violent crime in modern society has led researchers to investigate a myriad of potential contributing factors, ranging from socioeconomic conditions to cultural influences. However, in the annals of crime research, one curious and seemingly unrelated variable has received scant attention: cottage cheese consumption. Indeed, the notion that this innocuous dairy product could hold any sway over criminal behavior may appear utterly preposterous at first glance. Nonetheless, the purpose of this study is to earnestly explore the potential connection between the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of violent crime.
The profound mystery surrounding the relationship between cottage cheese and violent crime has piqued the interest of aficionados of both criminology and dairying alike. Despite initial skepticism, a thorough examination of available data from 1990 to 2021 has revealed an unexpected and robust correlation between these seemingly incongruous phenomena. This investigation sought to uncover whether this correlation, as improbable as it may seem, holds any substantive merit or if it is merely a serendipitous anomaly.
The hypothesis underlying this study draws upon the assumption that the consumption of cottage cheese, a dietary staple esteemed by health-conscious individuals, may have a mitigating effect on aggressive behavior. Conversely, the absence of cottage cheese in the diet could conceivably be associated with an increased proclivity toward violent actions. While the mere suggestion of such a link may prompt skepticism (or perhaps provoke a chuckle), it is our responsibility as researchers to approach this inquiry with the utmost seriousness, or at least with a dairy-tinged sense of humor.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The results of our analysis revealed a striking correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 suggests a strong positive relationship between the two variables. This finding is further supported by an r-squared value of 0.7837185, indicating that approximately 78.37% of the variation in violent crime rates can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.

The p-value of less than 0.01 provides strong evidence against the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant. In other words, the likelihood of this strong association occurring by chance alone is remarkably low, lending credence to the notion that there may indeed be a substantive link between cottage cheese consumption and violent behavior.

As depicted in Fig. 1, the scatterplot visually encapsulates the robust positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates. The data points form a clear upward trend, emphasizing the synchronous rise in both variables over the three-decade period under examination.

While the exact mechanisms underlying this unexpected association remain enigmatic, the implications are undeniably thought-provoking. The mere thought of a potential cottage cheese-crime nexus may induce a chuckle, but the statistical evidence compels us to consider the broader implications of these findings seriously.

The significance of these results cannot be overstated. While it may seem cheesy to suggest that cottage cheese consumption could influence societal violence, these findings warrant further exploration and consideration. It is our hope that this study will provoke fruitful discussion and inspire future research at the intersection of dairy consumption and criminology.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The investigation of the enigmatic relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates has sparked a surprising array of scholarly inquiry. A number of notable studies have grappled with the association between dietary habits and criminal behavior, although the inclusion of cottage cheese as a focal point remains an intriguing novelty in the academic discourse.
In "Dairy Dynamics: Exploring the Influence of Milk Products on Human Behavior," Smith et al. posited the theory that dairy consumption, including cottage cheese, may exert a subtle influence on neurochemical processes, potentially influencing mood and emotional regulation. The authors find a significant correlation between overall dairy intake and self-reported aggression levels, laying the theoretical groundwork for investigating the specific impact of cottage cheese within the broader dairy context.
Further, in "The Cerebral and Curdy Connection: Exploring the Neural Effects of Cottage Cheese," Doe et al. conducted a neuroimaging study examining the neural responses of participants after consuming cottage cheese. Remarkably, their findings suggest that the consumption of cottage cheese may activate regions of the brain associated with calmness and tranquility, providing intriguing preliminary evidence for a potential neurobiological link between cottage cheese and violent behavior.
Jones et al., in the study "Dairy and Disorder: Exploring the Dietary Correlates of Criminal Behavior," sought to elucidate the role of different dairy products, including cottage cheese, in the manifestation of criminal conduct. Their analysis revealed a statistically significant negative relationship between per capita cottage cheese consumption and reported incidents of violent crime at the county level, prompting speculation on the potential preventative properties of this curd-like comestible.
However, it is important to note the diversity of possible influences on human behavior. The literature also includes a variety of unconventional sources that may shed light on this unexpected association. The tome "Cheese and Chaos: The Dairy Chronicles of Deviance" by Lorem delves into the historical entanglement of dairy consumption and societal upheaval, presenting a compelling argument for the untold impact of cheese-related products on human behavior.
Moreover, the fictional narrative "The Case of the Malevolent Mozzarella" by Ipsum offers a whimsical exploration of a world where dairy products hold the key to unravelling criminal mysteries, showcasing the enduring fascination with attributing sinister significance to seemingly benign edibles.
Moving further afield, one cannot discount the potentially formative influence of childhood media on the human psyche. Cartoons such as "The Adventures of Curdle and Crimefighter" and children's shows like "Cottage Cheese Chronicles" have subtly reinforced the cultural association between cottage cheese and crime fighting, suggesting a permeation of this dietary product into the collective unconscious as a force for justice and order. While these lighthearted references may seem tangential, they speak to the enduring cultural and literary fascination with the potential interplay between cottage cheese and criminality.
In sum, the existing literature provides a springboard for our exploration of the potential impact of cottage cheese consumption on violent crime rates. While the initial premise may elicit a wry smile, the breadth and depth of these findings demand rigorous inquiry into the compellingly curious connection between cottage cheese and criminal behavior.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our analysis revealed a striking correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 suggests a strong positive relationship between the two variables. This finding is further supported by an r-squared value of 0.7837185, indicating that approximately 78.37% of the variation in violent crime rates can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.
The p-value of less than 0.01 provides strong evidence against the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant. In other words, the likelihood of this strong association occurring by chance alone is remarkably low, lending credence to the notion that there may indeed be a substantive link between cottage cheese consumption and violent behavior.
As depicted in Fig. 1, the scatterplot visually encapsulates the robust positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates. The data points form a clear upward trend, emphasizing the synchronous rise in both variables over the three-decade period under examination.
While the exact mechanisms underlying this unexpected association remain enigmatic, the implications are undeniably thought-provoking. The mere thought of a potential cottage cheese-crime nexus may induce a chuckle, but the statistical evidence compels us to consider the broader implications of these findings seriously.
The significance of these results cannot be overstated. While it may seem cheesy to suggest that cottage cheese consumption could influence societal violence, these findings warrant further exploration and consideration. It is our hope that this study will provoke fruitful discussion and inspire future research at the intersection of dairy consumption and criminology.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The results of our investigation have unveiled a surprising and seemingly improbable connection between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates. While the initial notion of a cottage cheese-crime nexus may elicit lighthearted quips, the statistical evidence demands that we approach this revelation with a measure of sobriety. Our findings align with previous research suggesting a potential link between dairy consumption and behavioral outcomes, as observed in the studies of Smith et al. and Jones et al. The robust positive correlation we discovered supports the notion that cottage cheese, among other dairy products, may indeed exert a noteworthy influence on human behavior.

The literature, which serves as our sturdy whey-station for this exploration, has set the stage for our unexpected foray into the curdy underpinnings of criminal conduct. While the peculiar contributions of Lorem's "Cheese and Chaos: The Dairy Chronicles of Deviance" may have initially seemed whimsical, they provide an intriguing backdrop for understanding the enduring fascination with the potential impact of dairy products on human behavior. Similarly, the imaginative world conjured by Ipsum's "The Case of the Malevolent Mozzarella" may offer more than mere entertainment, hinting at the unpredictably serious aspects of a dairy-driven underbelly in the world of crime.

Our findings also resonate with the elemental yet jocular portrayals of cottage cheese as a paragon of virtuousness in popular culture, as evidenced by the seemingly frivolous yet curiously resonant references to "The Adventures of Curdle and Crimefighter" and "Cottage Cheese Chronicles". While these references may initially seem tangential, they underscore the potential pervasiveness of this dairy product in the collective subconscious and the enduring cultural fascination with its perceived influence on societal order.

The empirical evidence we have uncovered presents a compelling case for the need to depart from the customary ruminations on crime and delve headfirst into the cheesy corridors of dietary influence. The robust statistical significance we have unearthed underscores the need for further investigation into the possible mechanisms underpinning this association. While the exact biological and sociological pathways through which cottage cheese may influence behavior remain a mélange of possibilities, our study unreservedly calls for a deeper understanding of the nuances of dietary influence on human conduct.

In conclusion, the dairy-crime connection, although cloaked in an ostensible layer of whimsy, urges diligent contemplation and warrants earnest consideration in the realms of public health and crime prevention. As we tread the wheyward path ahead, we must maintain a firm grasp on the potential implications of our findings, despite their seemingly outlandish nature. After all, in the whimsical world of empirical inquiry, the unlikeliest findings often possess the most tantalizing potential for shedding light on the dark recesses of human behavior.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Violent crime rates. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates

[[ABSTRACT]]
This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The ubiquitous nature of violent crime in modern society has led researchers to investigate a myriad of potential contributing factors, ranging from socioeconomic conditions to cultural influences. However, in the annals of crime research, one curious and seemingly unrelated variable has received scant attention: cottage cheese consumption. Indeed, the notion that this innocuous dairy product could hold any sway over criminal behavior may appear utterly preposterous at first glance. Nonetheless, the purpose of this study is to earnestly explore the potential connection between the consumption of cottage cheese and the prevalence of violent crime.
The profound mystery surrounding the relationship between cottage cheese and violent crime has piqued the interest of aficionados of both criminology and dairying alike. Despite initial skepticism, a thorough examination of available data from 1990 to 2021 has revealed an unexpected and robust correlation between these seemingly incongruous phenomena. This investigation sought to uncover whether this correlation, as improbable as it may seem, holds any substantive merit or if it is merely a serendipitous anomaly.
The hypothesis underlying this study draws upon the assumption that the consumption of cottage cheese, a dietary staple esteemed by health-conscious individuals, may have a mitigating effect on aggressive behavior. Conversely, the absence of cottage cheese in the diet could conceivably be associated with an increased proclivity toward violent actions. While the mere suggestion of such a link may prompt skepticism (or perhaps provoke a chuckle), it is our responsibility as researchers to approach this inquiry with the utmost seriousness, or at least with a dairy-tinged sense of humor.

[[RESULTS]]
The results of our analysis revealed a striking correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over the period of 1990 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 suggests a strong positive relationship between the two variables. This finding is further supported by an r-squared value of 0.7837185, indicating that approximately 78.37% of the variation in violent crime rates can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.
The p-value of less than 0.01 provides strong evidence against the null hypothesis, indicating that the observed correlation is statistically significant. In other words, the likelihood of this strong association occurring by chance alone is remarkably low, lending credence to the notion that there may indeed be a substantive link between cottage cheese consumption and violent behavior.
As depicted in Fig. 1, the scatterplot visually encapsulates the robust positive correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates. The data points form a clear upward trend, emphasizing the synchronous rise in both variables over the three-decade period under examination.
While the exact mechanisms underlying this unexpected association remain enigmatic, the implications are undeniably thought-provoking. The mere thought of a potential cottage cheese-crime nexus may induce a chuckle, but the statistical evidence compels us to consider the broader implications of these findings seriously.
The significance of these results cannot be overstated. While it may seem cheesy to suggest that cottage cheese consumption could influence societal violence, these findings warrant further exploration and consideration. It is our hope that this study will provoke fruitful discussion and inspire future research at the intersection of dairy consumption and criminology.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation has uncovered a notable and seemingly improbable correlation between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over the span of three decades. The remarkable association, as indicated by a strong correlation coefficient and statistically significant p-value, suggests that the consumption of this humble dairy product may indeed have some unanticipated influence on aggressive behavior. While the exact causal mechanisms remain elusive, it is clear that the potential implications of these findings are not to be taken lightly, even if they may seem a bit "cheesy" at first glance.

The idea that cottage cheese, often associated with health-conscious dietary choices, could have any bearing on criminal tendencies may indeed elicit a chuckle or two. However, our findings compel us to approach this subject matter with the utmost seriousness, albeit through a dairy-laden lens.

As for the broader implications, it may be wise not to "curdle" these findings too swiftly. While the notion of cottage cheese consumption influencing societal violence may seem far-fetched, the statistical evidence warrants further consideration and exploration. Naturally, it is imperative that future research delve into the mechanisms underlying this unexpected association and discern whether there are tangible public health and crime prevention strategies that could stem from these findings.

With that said, it is our firm conclusion that no more research is needed in this area. The dairy-crime nexus has been sufficiently and perhaps excessively "grated" upon. We hope that this study will inspire a bit of whimsy amidst the rigors of academic inquiry and, who knows, maybe even prompt a "gouda" laugh or two.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Delinquency Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The International Association for Dairy Delinquency Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Curd and the Crime: A Wheyward Examination of Cottage Cheese Consumption and Violent Crime Rates with an abstract of This study delves into the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and violent crime rates over a span of three decades. Leveraging data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, we sought to answer the age-old question: Can the humble cottage cheese influence violent behavior? Our analysis revealed a remarkable correlation coefficient of 0.8852787 and p < 0.01, indicating a striking association between the two variables from 1990 to 2021. While the causal mechanisms behind this finding remain unclear, the results certainly provide food for thought. The implications of these findings may be cheesy, but they could have serious implications for public health and crime prevention strategies. Our hope is that this study will curdle the conventional wisdom and prompt further scrutiny of the dairy-crime nexus.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, violent crime rates, correlation, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, causal mechanisms, public health, crime prevention strategies, dairy-crime nexus

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Violent crime rates
Detailed data title: The violent crime rate per 100,000 residents in United States
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Violent crime rates

Correlation r = 0.8852787 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7837185 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 78.4% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Violent crime rates) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.7E-11. 0.0000000000171514103711138480
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.89 in 1.7E-9% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 58,304,243,113 random variables You don't actually need 58 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.78, 0.94 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Violent crime rates (Violent crime)729.6758.2757.7747.1713.6684.5636.6611567.6523506.5504.5494.4475.8463.2469479.3471.8458.6431.9404.5387.1387.8369.1361.6373.7397.5394.9383.4380.8398.5387




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([729.6,758.2,757.7,747.1,713.6,684.5,636.6,611,567.6,523,506.5,504.5,494.4,475.8,463.2,469,479.3,471.8,458.6,431.9,404.5,387.1,387.8,369.1,361.6,373.7,397.5,394.9,383.4,380.8,398.5,387,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Violent crime rates"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

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Correlation ID: 1848 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20220
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