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Spurious correlation #1,819 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the second variable is Global shipwrecks .  The chart goes from 2003 to 2014, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the number of bailiffs in West Virginia increased, more and more people started practicing their courtroom dramas on boats, leading to a rise in global shipwrecks. It turns out, West Virginia's got a whole new wave of maritime law enthusiasts making waves around the world! Or maybe the bailiffs were just trying to serve some "subpoena" sandwiches to the high seas offenders!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a quaint West Virginia town, where a group of bailiffs congregate in front of the courthouse. They are engaged in discussion about their daily duties. In the distance, a large shipwreck is visible on a nearby river, with its masts rising from the water. The image should juxtapose the law enforcement represented by the bailiffs with the maritime accident symbolized by the shipwreck, creating a unique and surreal contrast. The surroundings should reflect the peaceful setting of the town. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Number of shipwrecks. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Celtic art Sci-fi fantacy Whimsical illustration Surrealism Voxel art
ChatGPT: Surrealism

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Number of shipwrecks together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a quaint West Virginia town, a group of bailiffs gather in front of the courthouse, discussing their duties for the day. In the distance, a large shipwreck can be seen on a nearby river, its masts jutting out of the water. The juxtaposition of the bailiffs representing the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the shipwreck representing the number of shipwrecks creates a unique contrast between law enforcement and maritime accidents in the peaceful setting of the town.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Surrealism ] and depicting this scene: In a quaint West Virginia town, a group of bailiffs gather in front of the courthouse, discussing their duties for the day. In the distance, a large shipwreck can be seen on a nearby river, its masts jutting out of the water. The juxtaposition of the bailiffs representing the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the shipwreck representing the number of shipwrecks creates a unique contrast between law enforcement and maritime accidents in the peaceful setting of the town. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a quaint West Virginia town, where a group of bailiffs congregate in front of the courthouse. They are engaged in discussion about their daily duties. In the distance, a large shipwreck is visible on a nearby river, with its masts rising from the water. The image should juxtapose the law enforcement represented by the bailiffs with the maritime accident symbolized by the shipwreck, creating a unique and surreal contrast. The surroundings should reflect the peaceful setting of the town.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in The number of bailiffs in West Virginia caused Global shipwrecks to increase. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks

The Journal of Maritime Mysteries and Appalachian Affairs

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Make the title seem clever.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Wikipedia to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.7546099 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2014.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

Ahoy there, astute readers and fellow seafarers of academia! As we embark on this scholarly expedition, I can't help but chuckle at the intricacies of our latest research endeavor. Picture this: a motley crew of researchers, crunching numbers and flipping through dusty tomes, all in pursuit of uncovering the unexpected correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the frequency of shipwrecks across the globe. Now, you might be thinking, what in the seven seas could possibly connect these peculiar entities? Well, buckle up (or perhaps, "buckle down" in the context of bailiffs) as we navigate the choppy waters of statistical analysis and whimsical findings.

Before we plunge into the depths of our findings, allow me to reel in a fitting dad joke: "Did you hear about the ship carrying red paint and blue paint that collided at sea? Both crews were marooned!" A bit of levity to keep us buoyant as we delve into the depths of our research topic.

This study stemmed from a serendipitous encounter with a nautical enthusiast who mused upon the unlikely relationship between landlocked West Virginia and maritime mishaps. Armed with statistical rigor and a sprinkling of humor, our investigation took us on an intellectual voyage through databases and archives, all to unearth the peculiar ties between seemingly disparate variables.

As we charted our course through this research, we were buoyed both by the statistical significance of our findings and the playful spirit of inquiry that infuses all good scholarly pursuits. So, dear reader, weigh anchor and join us as we set sail to unravel the enigmatic link between bailiffs and shipwrecks. It's going to be a whale of a time!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name some movies that you watched that are tangentially related to the topic.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
Ahoy there, astute readers and fellow seafarers of academia! As we embark on this scholarly expedition, I can't help but chuckle at the intricacies of our latest research endeavor. Picture this: a motley crew of researchers, crunching numbers and flipping through dusty tomes, all in pursuit of uncovering the unexpected correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the frequency of shipwrecks across the globe. Now, you might be thinking, what in the seven seas could possibly connect these peculiar entities? Well, buckle up (or perhaps, "buckle down" in the context of bailiffs) as we navigate the choppy waters of statistical analysis and whimsical findings.
Before we plunge into the depths of our findings, allow me to reel in a fitting dad joke: "Did you hear about the ship carrying red paint and blue paint that collided at sea? Both crews were marooned!" A bit of levity to keep us buoyant as we delve into the depths of our research topic.
This study stemmed from a serendipitous encounter with a nautical enthusiast who mused upon the unlikely relationship between landlocked West Virginia and maritime mishaps. Armed with statistical rigor and a sprinkling of humor, our investigation took us on an intellectual voyage through databases and archives, all to unearth the peculiar ties between seemingly disparate variables.
As we charted our course through this research, we were buoyed both by the statistical significance of our findings and the playful spirit of inquiry that infuses all good scholarly pursuits. So, dear reader, weigh anchor and join us as we set sail to unravel the enigmatic link between bailiffs and shipwrecks. It's going to be a whale of a time!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The exploration of seemingly unrelated phenomena has long captured the curiosity of scholars across diverse disciplines. In "Smith et al.'s Analysis of Economic Trends," the authors find correlations between economic variables that defy conventional logic, much like the unlikely connection we are investigating here. However, as we steer our attention towards the peculiar conjunction of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, we find ourselves in uncharted territories, both literally and figuratively.

Speaking of uncharted territories, let's not forget the influential work of Doe and Jones in "Maritime Mysteries: Uncovering Legends of the Sea." While their focus is on the captivating tales of lost treasure and mythical shipwrecks, their research sheds light on the rich tapestry of maritime history and superstitions. Just like an old sailor's yarn, our study weaves a tale that tugs at the threads of assumption, unraveling a surprising link between bureaucratic roles and maritime misfortunes.

Now, as we set our sights on less conventional sources, I must confess that our quest led us to some unexpected literary treasures. "The Art of Rigging: A Practical Guide to Sailboat Maintenance" certainly provided valuable insights into the intricacies of maritime operations, but alas, it did not quite navigate us towards the crux of our research question. However, in the fictional realm, we stumbled upon "The Ship of Theseus" by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst, a tale of a mysterious ship with a constantly changing identity, much like the elusive nature of our research focus.

On a lighter note, our team also sought inspiration in film. While not directly related to our academic pursuit, movies such as "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Cast Away" sparked lively discussions during our coffee breaks. After all, who can resist a swashbuckling adventure or the timeless question of whether Wilson the Volleyball would make a good bailiff? (Spoiler alert: He's probably better suited for maritime legal disputes!)

At the heart of our literature review lies a testament to the unforeseen connections and the playful spirit that infuses academic inquiry. Just as a lighthearted dad joke can break the scholarly monotony, our findings invite further exploration into the whimsical intertwining of seemingly distant concepts. So, as we navigate the high seas of scholarship, let's not forget to enjoy the occasional wave of humor and intellectual curiosity. After all, one might say that unravelling this correlation has been quite the "reefreshing" experience!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Wikipedia . You used data from 2003 to 2014

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
Ahoy there, astute readers and fellow seafarers of academia! As we embark on this scholarly expedition, I can't help but chuckle at the intricacies of our latest research endeavor. Picture this: a motley crew of researchers, crunching numbers and flipping through dusty tomes, all in pursuit of uncovering the unexpected correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the frequency of shipwrecks across the globe. Now, you might be thinking, what in the seven seas could possibly connect these peculiar entities? Well, buckle up (or perhaps, "buckle down" in the context of bailiffs) as we navigate the choppy waters of statistical analysis and whimsical findings.
Before we plunge into the depths of our findings, allow me to reel in a fitting dad joke: "Did you hear about the ship carrying red paint and blue paint that collided at sea? Both crews were marooned!" A bit of levity to keep us buoyant as we delve into the depths of our research topic.
This study stemmed from a serendipitous encounter with a nautical enthusiast who mused upon the unlikely relationship between landlocked West Virginia and maritime mishaps. Armed with statistical rigor and a sprinkling of humor, our investigation took us on an intellectual voyage through databases and archives, all to unearth the peculiar ties between seemingly disparate variables.
As we charted our course through this research, we were buoyed both by the statistical significance of our findings and the playful spirit of inquiry that infuses all good scholarly pursuits. So, dear reader, weigh anchor and join us as we set sail to unravel the enigmatic link between bailiffs and shipwrecks. It's going to be a whale of a time!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Navigating the choppy waters of research methodology, our team assembled a smorgasbord of data sources with the finesse of a seasoned mariner. We cast our net far and wide, ensnaring information from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, Wikipedia, and various other online repositories. Like sailors scanning the horizon for land, we meticulously combed through records spanning the years 2003 to 2014, seeking to discern the subtle currents linking the number of bailiffs in West Virginia to the occurrence of global shipwrecks.

As we ventured deeper into the heart of our methodology, we employed statistical techniques with the precision of a ship's compass, calculating the correlation coefficient between the aforementioned variables. To add a touch of whimsy, we even plotted our data points on a graph resembling a treasure map, determined to uncover the buried treasure of correlation hidden amidst the waves of information.

In our pursuit of transparency, we endeavored to sail through the rigorous process of data validation with the alacrity of a swift vessel, ensuring that only the most seaworthy data points were included in our analysis. We rigorously examined the relevance and reliability of each source, meticulously clearing away the barnacles of ambiguity and bias to reveal the gleaming hull of empirical veracity.

To bring a lighthearted touch to our scholarly voyage, we indulged in the occasional bout of gallows humor, reminding ourselves that "a ship in harbor is safe, but that's not why ships are built." This humorous interlude served as the proverbial wind in our sails, propelling us forward as we waded through the waves of data, determined to unearth the hidden pearls of correlation.

In the spirit of full disclosure, it must be acknowledged that our methodology, like a ship on the open sea, encountered the occasional storm of uncertainty. Despite our best efforts at clarity and precision, the nature of our study occasionally required us to navigate through uncharted waters, making educated guesses and calculated adjustments along the way. Nonetheless, our adherence to scholarly rigor remained steadfast, guiding us through turbulent research waters with the resilience of seasoned sailors weathering a tempest.

In summation, our methodology stands as a testament to the intrepid spirit of scholarly inquiry, blending rigorous statistical analysis with the playful curiosity that sets sail in pursuit of knowledge. With a nod to the nautical world, we remained steadfast in our quest, sailing through the ebb and flow of research methodology with the utmost determination and a healthy dose of seafaring humor.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Wikipedia .

For the time period 2003 to 2014, you found a correlation 0.7546099, r-squared of 0.5694361, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
Ahoy there, astute readers and fellow seafarers of academia! As we embark on this scholarly expedition, I can't help but chuckle at the intricacies of our latest research endeavor. Picture this: a motley crew of researchers, crunching numbers and flipping through dusty tomes, all in pursuit of uncovering the unexpected correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the frequency of shipwrecks across the globe. Now, you might be thinking, what in the seven seas could possibly connect these peculiar entities? Well, buckle up (or perhaps, "buckle down" in the context of bailiffs) as we navigate the choppy waters of statistical analysis and whimsical findings.
Before we plunge into the depths of our findings, allow me to reel in a fitting dad joke: "Did you hear about the ship carrying red paint and blue paint that collided at sea? Both crews were marooned!" A bit of levity to keep us buoyant as we delve into the depths of our research topic.
This study stemmed from a serendipitous encounter with a nautical enthusiast who mused upon the unlikely relationship between landlocked West Virginia and maritime mishaps. Armed with statistical rigor and a sprinkling of humor, our investigation took us on an intellectual voyage through databases and archives, all to unearth the peculiar ties between seemingly disparate variables.
As we charted our course through this research, we were buoyed both by the statistical significance of our findings and the playful spirit of inquiry that infuses all good scholarly pursuits. So, dear reader, weigh anchor and join us as we set sail to unravel the enigmatic link between bailiffs and shipwrecks. It's going to be a whale of a time!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our analysis of the data collected from 2003 to 2014 revealed a strikingly strong correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of global shipwrecks, with a correlation coefficient of 0.7546099. This relationship was further substantiated by an r-squared value of 0.5694361, affirming that over 56% of the variability in global shipwrecks could be explained by the variation in the number of bailiffs in West Virginia. The p-value of less than 0.01 underscored the statistical significance of this connection, reassuring us that this was not merely a fluke of the tides.

Now, before we dive deeper into the implications of our findings, let me reel in another maritime-themed dad joke for you: "Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!" It's important to keep the spirit of discovery and mirth alive, even as we uncover these unexpected correlations.

Fig. 1 illustrates the undeniable correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, proving that this association is not just a mere whirlpool of chance. As we navigate through these intriguing findings, we are reminded of the boundless nature of correlation analyses – just when you think you've plumbed the depths, you surface with surprising connections that even Poseidon would raise an eyebrow at. Our results bring a fresh breath of salty sea air to the often-dry world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even the most unlikely of associations can hold the key to new insights. So, let's "seas" the day and chart a course for further investigations into this quirky correlation!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The exploration of seemingly unrelated phenomena has long captured the curiosity of scholars across diverse disciplines. In "Smith et al.'s Analysis of Economic Trends," the authors find correlations between economic variables that defy conventional logic, much like the unlikely connection we are investigating here. However, as we steer our attention towards the peculiar conjunction of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, we find ourselves in uncharted territories, both literally and figuratively.
Speaking of uncharted territories, let's not forget the influential work of Doe and Jones in "Maritime Mysteries: Uncovering Legends of the Sea." While their focus is on the captivating tales of lost treasure and mythical shipwrecks, their research sheds light on the rich tapestry of maritime history and superstitions. Just like an old sailor's yarn, our study weaves a tale that tugs at the threads of assumption, unraveling a surprising link between bureaucratic roles and maritime misfortunes.
Now, as we set our sights on less conventional sources, I must confess that our quest led us to some unexpected literary treasures. "The Art of Rigging: A Practical Guide to Sailboat Maintenance" certainly provided valuable insights into the intricacies of maritime operations, but alas, it did not quite navigate us towards the crux of our research question. However, in the fictional realm, we stumbled upon "The Ship of Theseus" by J.J. Abrams and Doug Dorst, a tale of a mysterious ship with a constantly changing identity, much like the elusive nature of our research focus.
On a lighter note, our team also sought inspiration in film. While not directly related to our academic pursuit, movies such as "Pirates of the Caribbean" and "Cast Away" sparked lively discussions during our coffee breaks. After all, who can resist a swashbuckling adventure or the timeless question of whether Wilson the Volleyball would make a good bailiff? (Spoiler alert: He's probably better suited for maritime legal disputes!)
At the heart of our literature review lies a testament to the unforeseen connections and the playful spirit that infuses academic inquiry. Just as a lighthearted dad joke can break the scholarly monotony, our findings invite further exploration into the whimsical intertwining of seemingly distant concepts. So, as we navigate the high seas of scholarship, let's not forget to enjoy the occasional wave of humor and intellectual curiosity. After all, one might say that unravelling this correlation has been quite the "reefreshing" experience!

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the data collected from 2003 to 2014 revealed a strikingly strong correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of global shipwrecks, with a correlation coefficient of 0.7546099. This relationship was further substantiated by an r-squared value of 0.5694361, affirming that over 56% of the variability in global shipwrecks could be explained by the variation in the number of bailiffs in West Virginia. The p-value of less than 0.01 underscored the statistical significance of this connection, reassuring us that this was not merely a fluke of the tides.
Now, before we dive deeper into the implications of our findings, let me reel in another maritime-themed dad joke for you: "Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!" It's important to keep the spirit of discovery and mirth alive, even as we uncover these unexpected correlations.
Fig. 1 illustrates the undeniable correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, proving that this association is not just a mere whirlpool of chance. As we navigate through these intriguing findings, we are reminded of the boundless nature of correlation analyses – just when you think you've plumbed the depths, you surface with surprising connections that even Poseidon would raise an eyebrow at. Our results bring a fresh breath of salty sea air to the often-dry world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even the most unlikely of associations can hold the key to new insights. So, let's "seas" the day and chart a course for further investigations into this quirky correlation!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Armed with our findings on the unexpectedly strong correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, it's clear that our journey through the seas of data has borne fruit – or rather, salvaged treasure! Our results provide empirical support for the whimsical notion that bureaucratic roles in a landlocked state could have maritime implications. Imagine a bailiff casting anchor in a courtroom and unintentionally causing a wave of shipwrecks halfway across the world! It's a testament to the interconnectedness of our world, and an emblematic reminder that statistical analysis doesn't just unfold in a vacuum – it's a tide that pulls in surprising treasures from unexpected sources.

Drawing a parallel to Smith et al.'s Analysis of Economic Trends, our findings mirror the baffling correlations that can defy conventional wisdom. Economic gyrations and the rise and fall of fiscal policies certainly have their share of surprises, but who would have thought that the number of bailiffs in a small slice of Appalachia could steer the course of global maritime mishaps? It's akin to a ship navigating serendipitous currents, bobbing through the ocean of data and unearthing correlations that tickle the fancy and befuddle the mind.

And like the tales of lost treasure and mythical shipwrecks chronicled by Doe and Jones, our research reminds us of the rich tapestry of maritime history and its latent mysteries. It's as though the ghostly whispers of bygone ships imbue our statistically hefty findings with a sense of enchantment, underlining that scholarly inquiry isn't just about charts and graphs – it's also about the sheer delight of discovery.

But amidst this sea of serious scholarship, let's not forget to sprinkle in a sprinkle of levity. Much like a good dad joke, our research invites a smirk while packing a solid scholarly punch. After all, who can resist the lure of a pun-laden discussion of unexpected correlations? So, as we embark on further investigations and chart future research voyages, let's sail forth with both rigor and a twinkle in our eye – because in the unlikeliest of correlations, there's always a joke waiting to be cracked!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of bailiffs in West Virginia and Global shipwrecks . You can't resist a good dad joke. Add a relevant dad joke related to the content every couple of sentences.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.

Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
Ahoy there, astute readers and fellow seafarers of academia! As we embark on this scholarly expedition, I can't help but chuckle at the intricacies of our latest research endeavor. Picture this: a motley crew of researchers, crunching numbers and flipping through dusty tomes, all in pursuit of uncovering the unexpected correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the frequency of shipwrecks across the globe. Now, you might be thinking, what in the seven seas could possibly connect these peculiar entities? Well, buckle up (or perhaps, "buckle down" in the context of bailiffs) as we navigate the choppy waters of statistical analysis and whimsical findings.
Before we plunge into the depths of our findings, allow me to reel in a fitting dad joke: "Did you hear about the ship carrying red paint and blue paint that collided at sea? Both crews were marooned!" A bit of levity to keep us buoyant as we delve into the depths of our research topic.
This study stemmed from a serendipitous encounter with a nautical enthusiast who mused upon the unlikely relationship between landlocked West Virginia and maritime mishaps. Armed with statistical rigor and a sprinkling of humor, our investigation took us on an intellectual voyage through databases and archives, all to unearth the peculiar ties between seemingly disparate variables.
As we charted our course through this research, we were buoyed both by the statistical significance of our findings and the playful spirit of inquiry that infuses all good scholarly pursuits. So, dear reader, weigh anchor and join us as we set sail to unravel the enigmatic link between bailiffs and shipwrecks. It's going to be a whale of a time!

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the data collected from 2003 to 2014 revealed a strikingly strong correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of global shipwrecks, with a correlation coefficient of 0.7546099. This relationship was further substantiated by an r-squared value of 0.5694361, affirming that over 56% of the variability in global shipwrecks could be explained by the variation in the number of bailiffs in West Virginia. The p-value of less than 0.01 underscored the statistical significance of this connection, reassuring us that this was not merely a fluke of the tides.
Now, before we dive deeper into the implications of our findings, let me reel in another maritime-themed dad joke for you: "Why don't oysters donate to charity? Because they are shellfish!" It's important to keep the spirit of discovery and mirth alive, even as we uncover these unexpected correlations.
Fig. 1 illustrates the undeniable correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and global shipwrecks, proving that this association is not just a mere whirlpool of chance. As we navigate through these intriguing findings, we are reminded of the boundless nature of correlation analyses – just when you think you've plumbed the depths, you surface with surprising connections that even Poseidon would raise an eyebrow at. Our results bring a fresh breath of salty sea air to the often-dry world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even the most unlikely of associations can hold the key to new insights. So, let's "seas" the day and chart a course for further investigations into this quirky correlation!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we weigh anchor on this buoyant adventure, our findings have shone a lighthouse beam on the teasingly peculiar correlation between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of global shipwrecks. It's safe to say that our research has cracked open a treasure trove of unexpected associations! With a correlation coefficient that would rival the synchrony of a well-practiced square dance, we've unveiled a connection that's as puzzling as why the sea is always so calm? Because it never raises its voice!

Our study not only tickles the academic funny bone but also raises serious questions about the interplay of seemingly disparate factors. Should we batten down the hatches and delve into the social, economic, or even metaphysical forces that might underpin this unlikely relationship? Or should we simply chalk it up to the whims of statistical fate? These are the seafaring quandaries that await future researchers in this uncharted territory.

With a final dad joke that's as timeless as the tides: "What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey!", let's boldly proclaim that our current findings are as deep and vast as the ocean itself. The conclusion is crystal clear: no more research is needed in this area. Cue the ship's horn as we sail off into the horizon of intellectual inquiry!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Maritime Mysteries and Appalachian Affairs


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Nautical Justice and Seafaring Studies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Anchored Correlations: Exploring the Link Between Bailiffs in West Virginia and Global Shipwrecks with an abstract of In this lighthearted but groundbreaking study, we delved into the unsuspecting connection between the number of bailiffs in West Virginia and the occurrence of shipwrecks on a global scale. Drawing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Wikipedia, our findings revealed a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.7546099, with p < 0.01 for the years 2003 to 2014.
Our research team navigated through the statistical waves to uncover this curious relationship, which left us pondering the punny question: "Why don't ships make good librarians? Because they always end up losing their bookmarks!" The findings not only provoke a chuckle but also prompt a deeper exploration into the interconnectedness of seemingly unrelated phenomena. We hope this study sets sail for further investigations into the whimsical intertwining of disparate data points.

ChatGPT:

"bailiffs West Virginia correlation shipwrecks", "relationship between bailiffs shipwrecks", "statistics bailiffs shipwrecks", "unrelated phenomena connections", "whimsical data correlations", "curious statistical relationships", "exploring interconnected data points"

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of bailiffs in West Virginia
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of bailiffs in West Virginia
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of bailiffs in West Virginia

Global shipwrecks
Detailed data title: Ships sunk, foundered, grounded, or otherwise lost during the year
Source: Wikipedia
See what else correlates with Global shipwrecks

Correlation r = 0.7546099 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.5694361 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 56.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Global shipwrecks ) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of bailiffs in West Virginia) over the 12 years from 2003 through 2014.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.0046. 0.0045618923039382140000000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.75 in 0.46% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 219 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 11 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 11 because we have two variables measured over a period of 12 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.32, 0.93 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
200320042005200620072008200920102011201220132014
The number of bailiffs in West Virginia (Bailiffs)9011012080110100110140130150140110
Global shipwrecks (Wrecks)1518613333155711231117052




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([90,110,120,80,110,100,110,140,130,150,140,110,])
array_2 = np.array([15,18,6,13,33,31,55,71,123,111,70,52,])
array_1_name = "The number of bailiffs in West Virginia"
array_2_name = "Global shipwrecks "

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 1819 · Black Variable ID: 16004 · Red Variable ID: 504
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