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Spurious correlation #1,670 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Motor vehicle thefts in Texas.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As people stopped eating cottage cheese, there was less gas in the state. This led to a shortage of fuel for getaway cars, ultimately decreasing the number of motor vehicle thefts in Texas. But hey, at least now we know that cottage cheese is whey more important than we thought!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Prompt: Generate a cute art illustration of a cozy kitchen in Texas. Show a person sitting at a wooden table, enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese while looking out the window at their car parked in the driveway. In the background, depict law enforcement officials patrolling the neighborhood to prevent motor vehicle thefts. Ensure that the scene exudes a warm and welcoming atmosphere, with attention to details such as kitchen decor, sunlight streaming into the room, and a sense of security in the neighborhood. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Low poly An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie Surrealism High-tech Cutsy art illustration
ChatGPT: Cutsy art illustration

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas together. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a cozy kitchen in Texas, a person is seen enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese while keeping an eye on their car parked in the driveway. In the background, law enforcement officials are patrolling the neighborhood to prevent motor vehicle thefts.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cutsy art illustration ] and depicting this scene: In a cozy kitchen in Texas, a person is seen enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese while keeping an eye on their car parked in the driveway. In the background, law enforcement officials are patrolling the neighborhood to prevent motor vehicle thefts. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Prompt: Generate a cute art illustration of a cozy kitchen in Texas. Show a person sitting at a wooden table, enjoying a bowl of cottage cheese while looking out the window at their car parked in the driveway. In the background, depict law enforcement officials patrolling the neighborhood to prevent motor vehicle thefts. Ensure that the scene exudes a warm and welcoming atmosphere, with attention to details such as kitchen decor, sunlight streaming into the room, and a sense of security in the neighborhood.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Motor vehicle thefts in Texas to decrease. Add a funny one-liner at the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

The Journal of Dairy Products and Deviant Behavior

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

In the vast and varied landscape of criminal behavior, one might not expect to find a cheesy connection between dairy cravings and automotive malfeasance. However, curious correlations have a way of surfacing in unexpected places, much like those pesky chunks of cottage cheese in a creamy casserole.

The state of Texas, known for its larger-than-life personality and love for all things big, including cheese, holds a unique place in the annals of criminal activity. From cattle rustlers to bank robbers, the Lone Star State has seen its fair share of nefarious deeds. However, little did we know that behind the facade of cowboy hats and BBQ, there exists a mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts.

As scholars and aficionados of both crime statistics and dairy delights, we embarked on a study that sought to untangle the web of whey and wrongdoings. Imagine our surprise when the data led us down a path of cheesy intrigue, culminating in a statistical correlation so strong, it would make even the most seasoned cheese connoisseur raise an eyebrow in astonishment.

The purpose of this paper is to shed light on the hitherto unexplored territory of fromage-related felonies and to provide a greater understanding of the complex interplay between dietary preferences and criminal proclivities. While the initial reaction may be one of incredulity, as we delved deeper into the data, it became increasingly clear that the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas is no mere fluke – it's a gouda, old-fashioned puzzler.

Join us as we embark on this journey of statistical sleuthing, where we delve into the cheesy underbelly of Texas crime and seek to uncover the mozzarella mysteries that lie beneath the surface. However, before we dive headfirst into this dairy-infused detective work, let us first examine the existing literature on the interplay between food consumption and criminal behavior, and then proceed to unveil the dairy-driven drama that unfolds in the state of Texas.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then you might move on to cartoons and children's shows that you watched for research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the vast and varied landscape of criminal behavior, one might not expect to find a cheesy connection between dairy cravings and automotive malfeasance. However, curious correlations have a way of surfacing in unexpected places, much like those pesky chunks of cottage cheese in a creamy casserole.
The state of Texas, known for its larger-than-life personality and love for all things big, including cheese, holds a unique place in the annals of criminal activity. From cattle rustlers to bank robbers, the Lone Star State has seen its fair share of nefarious deeds. However, little did we know that behind the facade of cowboy hats and BBQ, there exists a mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts.
As scholars and aficionados of both crime statistics and dairy delights, we embarked on a study that sought to untangle the web of whey and wrongdoings. Imagine our surprise when the data led us down a path of cheesy intrigue, culminating in a statistical correlation so strong, it would make even the most seasoned cheese connoisseur raise an eyebrow in astonishment.
The purpose of this paper is to shed light on the hitherto unexplored territory of fromage-related felonies and to provide a greater understanding of the complex interplay between dietary preferences and criminal proclivities. While the initial reaction may be one of incredulity, as we delved deeper into the data, it became increasingly clear that the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas is no mere fluke – it's a gouda, old-fashioned puzzler.
Join us as we embark on this journey of statistical sleuthing, where we delve into the cheesy underbelly of Texas crime and seek to uncover the mozzarella mysteries that lie beneath the surface. However, before we dive headfirst into this dairy-infused detective work, let us first examine the existing literature on the interplay between food consumption and criminal behavior, and then proceed to unveil the dairy-driven drama that unfolds in the state of Texas.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In "Dairy Digest," Smith et al. delve into the world of dairy consumption and its potential impact on human behavior, highlighting the role of calcium and casein in cognitive functions. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones in "Milk Matters" explore the nutritional benefits of dairy products and their effect on overall well-being. The juxtaposition of these serious studies with our own investigation into cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas may seem like a stretch, but as we peel back the layers of this peculiar correlation, we can't help but find ourselves knee-deep in cheddar-ful ponderings.

Turning to the more whimsical side of literature, "The Big Cheese Mystery" by Brie Larson offers a fictional glimpse into the world of dairy-driven capers, although we must clarify that our own research is of a decidedly less cheesy nature. On a more tangentially related note, "The Great Texas Caper" by Colby Jack Kerouac provides a rollicking tale of adventure, albeit one more focused on hitchhiking than hankering for Havarti.

In the realm of animated entertainment, we found ourselves dusting off old VHS tapes and revisiting episodes of "Tom and Jerry" and "Scooby-Doo" in a quest to understand the mischievous nature of dairy-related delinquency. Alas, our efforts yielded only laughter and nostalgia, with little in the way of scientific insight. Nonetheless, we can't help but chuckle at the thought of a cartoon villain making off with a truckload of cottage cheese, leaving behind a trail of curds and whey as a clue for our intrepid detectives to follow.

With a foundation laid by both scholarly and lighthearted works, we now turn our attention to the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State, where the stakes are high, the cheese is higher, and the criminals might just be a little bit lactose intolerant. So, grab a snack, buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride through the land of queso and quest for answers.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

[[INTRODUCTION]]
In the vast and varied landscape of criminal behavior, one might not expect to find a cheesy connection between dairy cravings and automotive malfeasance. However, curious correlations have a way of surfacing in unexpected places, much like those pesky chunks of cottage cheese in a creamy casserole.
The state of Texas, known for its larger-than-life personality and love for all things big, including cheese, holds a unique place in the annals of criminal activity. From cattle rustlers to bank robbers, the Lone Star State has seen its fair share of nefarious deeds. However, little did we know that behind the facade of cowboy hats and BBQ, there exists a mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts.
As scholars and aficionados of both crime statistics and dairy delights, we embarked on a study that sought to untangle the web of whey and wrongdoings. Imagine our surprise when the data led us down a path of cheesy intrigue, culminating in a statistical correlation so strong, it would make even the most seasoned cheese connoisseur raise an eyebrow in astonishment.
The purpose of this paper is to shed light on the hitherto unexplored territory of fromage-related felonies and to provide a greater understanding of the complex interplay between dietary preferences and criminal proclivities. While the initial reaction may be one of incredulity, as we delved deeper into the data, it became increasingly clear that the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas is no mere fluke – it's a gouda, old-fashioned puzzler.
Join us as we embark on this journey of statistical sleuthing, where we delve into the cheesy underbelly of Texas crime and seek to uncover the mozzarella mysteries that lie beneath the surface. However, before we dive headfirst into this dairy-infused detective work, let us first examine the existing literature on the interplay between food consumption and criminal behavior, and then proceed to unveil the dairy-driven drama that unfolds in the state of Texas.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To investigate the bizarre association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, our research team employed an eclectic mix of data collection and statistical analysis methods, with a sprinkle of cheese-themed humor to keep things light and airy.

Data Collection:
Our comprehensive data collection process involved gathering information from various sources, including the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) for cottage cheese consumption data and the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services for motor vehicle theft statistics. We meticulously scoured through decades of data, from 1990 to 2021, to capture the ebb and flow of both cheesy indulgence and wheel-related misdeeds in the state of Texas.

Cheese Factor Calculation:
To ascertain the per capita consumption of cottage cheese in Texas, we kept a watchful eye on the USDA's dairy product reports. We calculated the consumption using a method we aptly named the "Curd-y queasy equation," which involved dividing the total amount of cottage cheese consumed by the number of Texan residents. Our use of this equation was certainly not cheesy, and it allowed us to quantify the annual intake of this delectable dairy delight.

Crime Cheese-rization:
On the other hand, the prevalence of motor vehicle thefts in Texas was quantified through the analysis of crime data provided by the FBI Criminal Justice Information Services. This involved meticulously examining the statistics and working our whey through the various reports to identify trends and patterns in car-related criminal activities.

Statistical Analysis:
Once we had gathered the necessary data, we employed a range of statistical methods to unravel the curiously cheesy correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. Our arsenal of analysis tools included Pearson correlation coefficients, time series modeling, and trend analysis. The statistical techniques were honed to perfection with the precision of a cheese slicer, allowing us to slice through the data and uncover meaningful associations.

Cheese-neutral Networks:
To ensure the validity and robustness of our findings, our research team conducted sensitivity analyses and cross-validated our results using a network of comically named statistical algorithms such as the "Gouda Gradient Descent" and the "Cheddar Convolutional Neural Network." These techniques helped us avoid the dreaded pitfall of confounding variables and added a dash of cheesy puns to our otherwise serious analysis.

In the spirit of full transparency, it should be noted that our approach to data analysis involved embracing the quirkier side of statistical research, infusing our methodologies with a healthy dose of humor and creativity. We believe that this lighthearted approach not only deepened our appreciation for the eccentricity of our research question but also enhanced the accessibility of our findings to a wider audience.

The combined application of these unconventional yet rigorously executed research methods allowed us to unearth the surprisingly robust correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, leaving us both bewildered and amused in equal measure by the unexpected interplay of dairy cravings and delinquent deeds.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9282387, r-squared of 0.8616270, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
In the vast and varied landscape of criminal behavior, one might not expect to find a cheesy connection between dairy cravings and automotive malfeasance. However, curious correlations have a way of surfacing in unexpected places, much like those pesky chunks of cottage cheese in a creamy casserole.
The state of Texas, known for its larger-than-life personality and love for all things big, including cheese, holds a unique place in the annals of criminal activity. From cattle rustlers to bank robbers, the Lone Star State has seen its fair share of nefarious deeds. However, little did we know that behind the facade of cowboy hats and BBQ, there exists a mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts.
As scholars and aficionados of both crime statistics and dairy delights, we embarked on a study that sought to untangle the web of whey and wrongdoings. Imagine our surprise when the data led us down a path of cheesy intrigue, culminating in a statistical correlation so strong, it would make even the most seasoned cheese connoisseur raise an eyebrow in astonishment.
The purpose of this paper is to shed light on the hitherto unexplored territory of fromage-related felonies and to provide a greater understanding of the complex interplay between dietary preferences and criminal proclivities. While the initial reaction may be one of incredulity, as we delved deeper into the data, it became increasingly clear that the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas is no mere fluke – it's a gouda, old-fashioned puzzler.
Join us as we embark on this journey of statistical sleuthing, where we delve into the cheesy underbelly of Texas crime and seek to uncover the mozzarella mysteries that lie beneath the surface. However, before we dive headfirst into this dairy-infused detective work, let us first examine the existing literature on the interplay between food consumption and criminal behavior, and then proceed to unveil the dairy-driven drama that unfolds in the state of Texas.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Our analysis of the data revealed a remarkably strong correlation (r = 0.9282387) between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. This eyebrow-raising correlation suggests that as Cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. The relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables is further supported by the high coefficient of determination (r-squared = 0.8616270), indicating that a substantial proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.

To emphasize the magnitude of this correlation, we utilized a significance level of p < 0.01, which underscores the credibility of our findings. This all points to a "grate" association worthy of further investigation and examination.

Indeed, Fig. 1, a scatterplot visual representation of the data, vividly illustrates the strength of this correlation. The scatterplot clearly depicts a positively sloped trendline, showcasing the synchrony between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It seems that when Texans are consuming more cottage cheese, they’re also more likely to take a joyride in a "cheddar-red" sports car.

In conclusion, the findings of this study highlight a peculiar correlation between dietary preferences and criminal activity, leaving us all to wonder: does the love for cottage cheese drive a wheely wild side in individuals? This unexpected correlation opens the door to a myriad of cheesy puns and dairy-related inquiries. Our next step is to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this connection and explore the broader implications of dairy-driven delinquency.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In "Dairy Digest," Smith et al. delve into the world of dairy consumption and its potential impact on human behavior, highlighting the role of calcium and casein in cognitive functions. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones in "Milk Matters" explore the nutritional benefits of dairy products and their effect on overall well-being. The juxtaposition of these serious studies with our own investigation into cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas may seem like a stretch, but as we peel back the layers of this peculiar correlation, we can't help but find ourselves knee-deep in cheddar-ful ponderings.
Turning to the more whimsical side of literature, "The Big Cheese Mystery" by Brie Larson offers a fictional glimpse into the world of dairy-driven capers, although we must clarify that our own research is of a decidedly less cheesy nature. On a more tangentially related note, "The Great Texas Caper" by Colby Jack Kerouac provides a rollicking tale of adventure, albeit one more focused on hitchhiking than hankering for Havarti.
In the realm of animated entertainment, we found ourselves dusting off old VHS tapes and revisiting episodes of "Tom and Jerry" and "Scooby-Doo" in a quest to understand the mischievous nature of dairy-related delinquency. Alas, our efforts yielded only laughter and nostalgia, with little in the way of scientific insight. Nonetheless, we can't help but chuckle at the thought of a cartoon villain making off with a truckload of cottage cheese, leaving behind a trail of curds and whey as a clue for our intrepid detectives to follow.
With a foundation laid by both scholarly and lighthearted works, we now turn our attention to the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State, where the stakes are high, the cheese is higher, and the criminals might just be a little bit lactose intolerant. So, grab a snack, buckle up, and get ready for a wild ride through the land of queso and quest for answers.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the data revealed a remarkably strong correlation (r = 0.9282387) between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. This eyebrow-raising correlation suggests that as Cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. The relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables is further supported by the high coefficient of determination (r-squared = 0.8616270), indicating that a substantial proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.
To emphasize the magnitude of this correlation, we utilized a significance level of p < 0.01, which underscores the credibility of our findings. This all points to a "grate" association worthy of further investigation and examination.
Indeed, Fig. 1, a scatterplot visual representation of the data, vividly illustrates the strength of this correlation. The scatterplot clearly depicts a positively sloped trendline, showcasing the synchrony between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It seems that when Texans are consuming more cottage cheese, they’re also more likely to take a joyride in a "cheddar-red" sports car.
In conclusion, the findings of this study highlight a peculiar correlation between dietary preferences and criminal activity, leaving us all to wonder: does the love for cottage cheese drive a wheely wild side in individuals? This unexpected correlation opens the door to a myriad of cheesy puns and dairy-related inquiries. Our next step is to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this connection and explore the broader implications of dairy-driven delinquency.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

In the words of Shakespeare, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players." Our findings have indeed cast a spotlight on the unexpected and zany connection between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. So, let's boldly go where no gouda has gone before and dissect this dairy-driven delinquency.

First, let's whisk into the literature review and revisit some cheesy ponderings. The serious studies by Smith et al. and Doe and Jones shed light on the potential impact of dairy consumption on human behavior, offering a "gouda" foundation for our investigation. Furthermore, the whimsical works by Brie Larson and Colby Jack Kerouac, though initially seen as light-hearted, have provided us with invaluable insights into the dairy-driven capers we didn't know we needed. Who knew that fictional tales and rollicking adventures could inspire our scientific inquiries?

Now, onto the crux of the matter – our results have unwrapped a "grate" association between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. The correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and a p-value of less than 0.01 have flung open the doors to an unlikely relationship, leaving us in a state of perpetual surprise and amusement. Like a perfectly aged cheddar, our findings have only ripened with time, supported by the high coefficient of determination and the whimsically vivid scatterplot showcasing a positively sloped trendline, as if to say, "wheels and cheese do tend to roll together."

The question now looms large – does the love for cottage cheese drive a wheely wild side in individuals? As with any good thriller, our findings have left us on the edge of our seats, eagerly anticipating the next installment of this tale of dairy-driven delinquency. The stage is set for the next act – delving deeper into the mechanisms underlying this connection and exploring the broader implications of dairy-related crimes.

So, in the spirit of our dairy-driven detective work, we invite you to grab a snack, buckle up, and join us on this whimsical academic adventure through the land of queso and quest for answers. As we navigate this whey, we hope to sprinkle some laughter and cheese puns into the scientific milieu, because after all, who says academic research can't be "grate" fun?


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Motor vehicle thefts in Texas. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation

[[ABSTRACT]]
Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

[[INTRDUCTION]]
In the vast and varied landscape of criminal behavior, one might not expect to find a cheesy connection between dairy cravings and automotive malfeasance. However, curious correlations have a way of surfacing in unexpected places, much like those pesky chunks of cottage cheese in a creamy casserole.
The state of Texas, known for its larger-than-life personality and love for all things big, including cheese, holds a unique place in the annals of criminal activity. From cattle rustlers to bank robbers, the Lone Star State has seen its fair share of nefarious deeds. However, little did we know that behind the facade of cowboy hats and BBQ, there exists a mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts.
As scholars and aficionados of both crime statistics and dairy delights, we embarked on a study that sought to untangle the web of whey and wrongdoings. Imagine our surprise when the data led us down a path of cheesy intrigue, culminating in a statistical correlation so strong, it would make even the most seasoned cheese connoisseur raise an eyebrow in astonishment.
The purpose of this paper is to shed light on the hitherto unexplored territory of fromage-related felonies and to provide a greater understanding of the complex interplay between dietary preferences and criminal proclivities. While the initial reaction may be one of incredulity, as we delved deeper into the data, it became increasingly clear that the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas is no mere fluke – it's a gouda, old-fashioned puzzler.
Join us as we embark on this journey of statistical sleuthing, where we delve into the cheesy underbelly of Texas crime and seek to uncover the mozzarella mysteries that lie beneath the surface. However, before we dive headfirst into this dairy-infused detective work, let us first examine the existing literature on the interplay between food consumption and criminal behavior, and then proceed to unveil the dairy-driven drama that unfolds in the state of Texas.

[[RESULTS]]
Our analysis of the data revealed a remarkably strong correlation (r = 0.9282387) between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas, spanning the years 1990 to 2021. This eyebrow-raising correlation suggests that as Cottage cheese consumption increased, so did the incidence of motor vehicle thefts. The relationship between these seemingly unrelated variables is further supported by the high coefficient of determination (r-squared = 0.8616270), indicating that a substantial proportion of the variability in motor vehicle thefts can be explained by the variation in cottage cheese consumption.
To emphasize the magnitude of this correlation, we utilized a significance level of p < 0.01, which underscores the credibility of our findings. This all points to a "grate" association worthy of further investigation and examination.
Indeed, Fig. 1, a scatterplot visual representation of the data, vividly illustrates the strength of this correlation. The scatterplot clearly depicts a positively sloped trendline, showcasing the synchrony between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts. It seems that when Texans are consuming more cottage cheese, they’re also more likely to take a joyride in a "cheddar-red" sports car.
In conclusion, the findings of this study highlight a peculiar correlation between dietary preferences and criminal activity, leaving us all to wonder: does the love for cottage cheese drive a wheely wild side in individuals? This unexpected correlation opens the door to a myriad of cheesy puns and dairy-related inquiries. Our next step is to delve deeper into the mechanisms underlying this connection and explore the broader implications of dairy-driven delinquency.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our study has shed light on the intriguing correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas. The results unequivocally demonstrate a strong association between these seemingly unrelated variables, leaving us all “gouda”-smacked by the unexpected nature of this discovery. It seems that the proverbial “whey” to a Texan’s heart might just lead straight to the driver’s seat of a stolen car.

When considering the implications of this finding, we must refrain from jumping to “conclusions” as hasty as a mouse in a cheese factory. While the results may be ripe for a flurry of dairy-based puns and whey-related jokes, the significance of this correlation cannot be understated. It beckons us to contemplate the potential influence of dietary choices on criminal behavior and encourages further exploration into the enigmatic realm of cheese-induced capers.

However, we must also exercise caution in ascribing causality to this correlation. It would be premature to suggest that indulging in cottage cheese directly incites a penchant for grand theft auto. As tempting as it may be to concoct a cheesy crime plot akin to a suspense-filled whodunit, further research is warranted to unravel the complexities of this connection.

By no stretch of the imagination can we claim to have churned out the definitive answers to this curiously cheesy conundrum. The data has tantalized our intellects and stirred our imaginations, but it also compels us to acknowledge the need for more in-depth investigations into the interplay between dietary preferences and illicit behavior.

Therefore, in the spirit of both scientific inquiry and comedic relief, we boldly assert that no additional research is necessary to confirm the correlation between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in Texas. After all, in the world of academia, some mysteries are best left to ferment like a fine cheese, inviting future scholars to slice through the rind of empirical scrutiny.

In the meanwhile, let us savor the delicious absurdity of this correlation and marvel at the confounding complexities of human behavior. As for the state of Texas, perhaps it’s time to revisit their slogan – “Don’t mess with Texas… or their cottage cheese.”


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Dairy Products and Deviant Behavior


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Quirky Culinary and Crime Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cottage Cheese Consumption and Car Crimes in Texas: A Curious Correlation with an abstract of Are Texans with a penchant for pilfering pimentos also purloining pasta sauce? Our research delves into the unexpected link between cottage cheese consumption and motor vehicle thefts in the Lone Star State. Using data from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning over three decades, we calculated a striking correlation coefficient of 0.9282387 and p < 0.01, leaving us all wondering if there's a "whey" for fondness of fromage to drive delinquent behavior. Join us in this whey-characterized study of cheesy correlations and crime capers in Texas!

ChatGPT:

Cottage cheese consumption, Texas, car crimes, correlation, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, motor vehicle thefts, Lone Star State, whey, fromage, cheesy correlations, crime capers

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Motor vehicle thefts in Texas
Detailed data title: The motor vehicle theft rate per 100,000 residents in Texas
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Motor vehicle thefts in Texas

Correlation r = 0.9282387 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8616270 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 86.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Motor vehicle thefts in Texas) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 2.02E-14. 0.0000000000000202170119777745
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.93 in 2.02E-12% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 49,463,293,640,986 random variables You don't actually need 49 trillion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.86, 0.96 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Motor vehicle thefts in Texas (Motor Vehicle Theft rate)909944.3821.7692.3602.6560.4548.6523.3489.1459.2446.8480.4472.4444.3418.6407.5405.9393.2351309269.4249.4249.5248.2253.6246.1247.2239.8244.5270.3287302.5




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([909,944.3,821.7,692.3,602.6,560.4,548.6,523.3,489.1,459.2,446.8,480.4,472.4,444.3,418.6,407.5,405.9,393.2,351,309,269.4,249.4,249.5,248.2,253.6,246.1,247.2,239.8,244.5,270.3,287,302.5,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Motor vehicle thefts in Texas"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 1670 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20165
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