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Spurious correlation #1,312 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is Cottage cheese consumption and the second variable is Arson in Tennessee.  The chart goes from 1990 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The creamy texture of cottage cheese was found to have a calming effect on individuals, reducing their likelihood of feeling the urge to commit arson in the first place. Furthermore, the mere thought of cottage cheese may have sparked a sense of peace and contentment, extinguishing any fiery intentions. Remember, a little less cottage cheese on your plate could mean a lot less fire in the state!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image that looks like a scene from a Disney movie. The scene is set in a cozy, colorful kitchen. A person with a friendly and caring expression is sprinkling a small amount of pepper onto a plate of cottage cheese. The atmosphere is warm and inviting, with soft lighting and a sense of harmony. In the background, people are smiling instead of sneezing, and matches are peacefully resting, unused, symbolizing the absence of accidental fires. The overall mood is joyful and heartwarming, evoking a sense of positivity and safety. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: Because cottage cheese consumption decreased, there were fewer people adding too much pepper, causing sneezing. With fewer sneezes, accidental fires from matches decreased in Tennessee.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s Low poly Cubism Sci-fi fantacy An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie
ChatGPT: An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. Because cottage cheese consumption decreased, there were fewer people adding too much pepper, causing sneezing. With fewer sneezes, accidental fires from matches decreased in Tennessee.
ChatGPT: In a kitchen, a person is seen sprinkling a small amount of pepper onto a plate of cottage cheese. As a result, there are fewer people sneezing, and as a result, there are fewer matches being used and no accidental fires occurring.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie ] and depicting this scene: In a kitchen, a person is seen sprinkling a small amount of pepper onto a plate of cottage cheese. As a result, there are fewer people sneezing, and as a result, there are fewer matches being used and no accidental fires occurring. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image that looks like a scene from a Disney movie. The scene is set in a cozy, colorful kitchen. A person with a friendly and caring expression is sprinkling a small amount of pepper onto a plate of cottage cheese. The atmosphere is warm and inviting, with soft lighting and a sense of harmony. In the background, people are smiling instead of sneezing, and matches are peacefully resting, unused, symbolizing the absence of accidental fires. The overall mood is joyful and heartwarming, evoking a sense of positivity and safety.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in Cottage cheese consumption caused Arson in Tennessee to decrease.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

Journal of Dairy Delinquency

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and p < 0.01 for 1990 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The curious case of Cottage Cheese Crime in the state of Tennessee has sparked scholarly interest and raised more than a few eyebrows. While the idiom "playing with fire" may take on a whole new meaning in light of our findings, it is essential to approach the matter with the utmost academic rigor and detachment. This peculiar investigation delves into the correlation, if not causation, between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson, ignited by the ever-burning curiosity to explore unconventional associations. The implications of these findings are as unexpected as stumbling upon a burnt cheese soufflé at a crime scene.

One cannot help but ponder the potential role of this dairy product in the realm of criminal activities, especially in a state renowned for its poultry and livestock production. As we delve into this cheese-tinged mystery, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations. Nevertheless, the statistical significance of the observed association beckons for closer scrutiny, much like a detective following a trail of breadcrumbs in a cheese fondue.

The phenomenon uncovered by our data analysis prompts a cautious yet probing exploration of the potential social, economic, and even psychological factors at play. Shedding light on this enigmatic correlation may not only provide a slice of insight into human behavior but also set ablaze further scientific inquiry and policy considerations. As we embroil ourselves in this intriguing investigation, it is our hope that this study will serve as a wedge of thought in the broader discourse on unexpected causal connections, leaving no curd unturned in our quest for understanding.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Perhaps you also got inspiration from some board games that are vaugely related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The curious case of Cottage Cheese Crime in the state of Tennessee has sparked scholarly interest and raised more than a few eyebrows. While the idiom "playing with fire" may take on a whole new meaning in light of our findings, it is essential to approach the matter with the utmost academic rigor and detachment. This peculiar investigation delves into the correlation, if not causation, between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson, ignited by the ever-burning curiosity to explore unconventional associations. The implications of these findings are as unexpected as stumbling upon a burnt cheese soufflé at a crime scene.
One cannot help but ponder the potential role of this dairy product in the realm of criminal activities, especially in a state renowned for its poultry and livestock production. As we delve into this cheese-tinged mystery, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations. Nevertheless, the statistical significance of the observed association beckons for closer scrutiny, much like a detective following a trail of breadcrumbs in a cheese fondue.
The phenomenon uncovered by our data analysis prompts a cautious yet probing exploration of the potential social, economic, and even psychological factors at play. Shedding light on this enigmatic correlation may not only provide a slice of insight into human behavior but also set ablaze further scientific inquiry and policy considerations. As we embroil ourselves in this intriguing investigation, it is our hope that this study will serve as a wedge of thought in the broader discourse on unexpected causal connections, leaving no curd unturned in our quest for understanding.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The authors find that previous research examining the relationship between dairy product consumption and criminal behavior has been rather limited in scope. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a study investigating the consumption of various dairy products, including cottage cheese, and its potential correlation with non-violent offenses. However, the study failed to explore the specific link to arson-related incidents, leaving this creamy conundrum largely unexplored.

In "The Cottage Cheese Cookbook" by Doe (2018), the intricate gastronomic history and diverse culinary applications of cottage cheese are meticulously documented. While the text primarily focuses on recipes and nutritional aspects, it hints at the possibility of cheese-induced euphoria and its potential impact on human behavior, albeit in the context of dinner parties rather than criminal activities.

Turning to more fictional sources, "The Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England" by Jones (2007) provides an unconventional perspective on the subject matter, albeit in a markedly different context. The novel weaves a tale of arson and literary pursuits, with no mention of dairy products, yet its thematic relevance cannot be entirely dismissed.

Furthermore, the board game "Cottage Garden" offers a lighthearted diversion from the weighty subject matter, allowing players to cultivate their virtual gardens without the risk of any fiery mishaps. While its relevance to the study at hand may be tangential at best, it serves as a whimsical nod to the multifaceted nature of the topic under investigation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services . You used data from 1990 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The curious case of Cottage Cheese Crime in the state of Tennessee has sparked scholarly interest and raised more than a few eyebrows. While the idiom "playing with fire" may take on a whole new meaning in light of our findings, it is essential to approach the matter with the utmost academic rigor and detachment. This peculiar investigation delves into the correlation, if not causation, between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson, ignited by the ever-burning curiosity to explore unconventional associations. The implications of these findings are as unexpected as stumbling upon a burnt cheese soufflé at a crime scene.
One cannot help but ponder the potential role of this dairy product in the realm of criminal activities, especially in a state renowned for its poultry and livestock production. As we delve into this cheese-tinged mystery, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations. Nevertheless, the statistical significance of the observed association beckons for closer scrutiny, much like a detective following a trail of breadcrumbs in a cheese fondue.
The phenomenon uncovered by our data analysis prompts a cautious yet probing exploration of the potential social, economic, and even psychological factors at play. Shedding light on this enigmatic correlation may not only provide a slice of insight into human behavior but also set ablaze further scientific inquiry and policy considerations. As we embroil ourselves in this intriguing investigation, it is our hope that this study will serve as a wedge of thought in the broader discourse on unexpected causal connections, leaving no curd unturned in our quest for understanding.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

The methodology employed in this investigation epitomized the rigor and thoroughness befitting the exploration of such a fromage-fraught correlation. Our research team harnessed data from the United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) and the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) Criminal Justice Information Services, spanning the scenic years from 1990 to 2021. The rich repository of information from these sources provided a dairyland of statistical fodder for our inquiry.

To evaluate the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in Tennessee, a series of convoluted, yet utterly necessary, statistical analyses were performed. Initially, the per capita consumption of cottage cheese in Tennessee was meticulously gleaned from USDA records, displaying a surprising stability and consistency, much like the texture of a well-made cheese soufflé. Subsequently, the incidence of arson in the state, as reported to the FBI, was sifted and scrutinized for any incendiary patterns. The data were then harmonized, akin to the delicate blending of ingredients in a savory cheese dip, to establish temporal correspondences.

A titillating array of statistical tests and measures were then deployed, resembling a gourmet chef's array of utensils, to ascertain the strength and significance of any apparent correlation. The correlation coefficient, akin to the carefully balanced flavors of a cheese platter, and the p-value, resembling the level of piquancy in a fromage de chèvre, were calculated to quantify the statistical relationship. A multivariate regression analysis, akin to creating the perfect fusion of complementary flavors, was also performed to adjust for potential confounding variables, maintaining the scientific integrity of the investigation.

Furthermore, sensitivity analyses were conducted to assess the robustness of the findings, akin to the stringent quality control measures implemented in artisanal cheese production. Various sub-analyses were executed to explore potential regional variations and time trends, akin to savoring the nuances of different cheese vintages.

While the subjective nature of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations cannot be understated, our methodological approach prudently aimed to tease apart causational conjectures from casual correlations, much like gingerly separating curds from whey. This procedural approach, complemented by the savory statistical smorgasbord, fortified our investigation against potential methodological chasms and furnished a robust foundation for scholarly digestion.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services .

For the time period 1990 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.8893792, r-squared of 0.7909954, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The curious case of Cottage Cheese Crime in the state of Tennessee has sparked scholarly interest and raised more than a few eyebrows. While the idiom "playing with fire" may take on a whole new meaning in light of our findings, it is essential to approach the matter with the utmost academic rigor and detachment. This peculiar investigation delves into the correlation, if not causation, between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson, ignited by the ever-burning curiosity to explore unconventional associations. The implications of these findings are as unexpected as stumbling upon a burnt cheese soufflé at a crime scene.
One cannot help but ponder the potential role of this dairy product in the realm of criminal activities, especially in a state renowned for its poultry and livestock production. As we delve into this cheese-tinged mystery, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations. Nevertheless, the statistical significance of the observed association beckons for closer scrutiny, much like a detective following a trail of breadcrumbs in a cheese fondue.
The phenomenon uncovered by our data analysis prompts a cautious yet probing exploration of the potential social, economic, and even psychological factors at play. Shedding light on this enigmatic correlation may not only provide a slice of insight into human behavior but also set ablaze further scientific inquiry and policy considerations. As we embroil ourselves in this intriguing investigation, it is our hope that this study will serve as a wedge of thought in the broader discourse on unexpected causal connections, leaving no curd unturned in our quest for understanding.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence in the state of Tennessee yielded surprising results. Over the period from 1990 to 2021, a strong positive correlation was observed, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and an r-squared value of 0.7909954. The p-value of less than 0.01 further accentuates the unexpected nature of this correlation, much like discovering a mysterious cheese residue at the scene of a peculiar fire.

The compelling figure (Fig. 1) presents a scatterplot demonstrating the robust relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence. The data points exhibit a striking pattern, reminiscent of the interplay between the texture of cottage cheese and the intricacies of an arsonist's pyromaniacal tendencies.

While these findings may initially seem as mismatched as cottage cheese on a pizza, they beckon for further investigation into the potential mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. It is imperative, however, to approach these results with cautious skepticism, akin to inspecting a cheese platter of dubious origin.

The implications of these findings, while beguiling, should be interpreted with a grain of salt, or perhaps a sprinkling of cheese. As we peel back the layers of this peculiar correlation, it is evident that dairy products, much like clandestine fire-starting activities, may hold unexpected secrets worthy of scholarly and investigative attention. Further exploration of this uncharted territory may yield a bounty of knowledge that is as rich and complex as a well-aged cheddar.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The authors find that previous research examining the relationship between dairy product consumption and criminal behavior has been rather limited in scope. Smith et al. (2015) conducted a study investigating the consumption of various dairy products, including cottage cheese, and its potential correlation with non-violent offenses. However, the study failed to explore the specific link to arson-related incidents, leaving this creamy conundrum largely unexplored.
In "The Cottage Cheese Cookbook" by Doe (2018), the intricate gastronomic history and diverse culinary applications of cottage cheese are meticulously documented. While the text primarily focuses on recipes and nutritional aspects, it hints at the possibility of cheese-induced euphoria and its potential impact on human behavior, albeit in the context of dinner parties rather than criminal activities.
Turning to more fictional sources, "The Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England" by Jones (2007) provides an unconventional perspective on the subject matter, albeit in a markedly different context. The novel weaves a tale of arson and literary pursuits, with no mention of dairy products, yet its thematic relevance cannot be entirely dismissed.
Furthermore, the board game "Cottage Garden" offers a lighthearted diversion from the weighty subject matter, allowing players to cultivate their virtual gardens without the risk of any fiery mishaps. While its relevance to the study at hand may be tangential at best, it serves as a whimsical nod to the multifaceted nature of the topic under investigation.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence in the state of Tennessee yielded surprising results. Over the period from 1990 to 2021, a strong positive correlation was observed, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and an r-squared value of 0.7909954. The p-value of less than 0.01 further accentuates the unexpected nature of this correlation, much like discovering a mysterious cheese residue at the scene of a peculiar fire.
The compelling figure (Fig. 1) presents a scatterplot demonstrating the robust relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence. The data points exhibit a striking pattern, reminiscent of the interplay between the texture of cottage cheese and the intricacies of an arsonist's pyromaniacal tendencies.
While these findings may initially seem as mismatched as cottage cheese on a pizza, they beckon for further investigation into the potential mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. It is imperative, however, to approach these results with cautious skepticism, akin to inspecting a cheese platter of dubious origin.
The implications of these findings, while beguiling, should be interpreted with a grain of salt, or perhaps a sprinkling of cheese. As we peel back the layers of this peculiar correlation, it is evident that dairy products, much like clandestine fire-starting activities, may hold unexpected secrets worthy of scholarly and investigative attention. Further exploration of this uncharted territory may yield a bounty of knowledge that is as rich and complex as a well-aged cheddar.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our investigation into the ostensibly obscure connection between cottage cheese consumption and arson in Tennessee has unveiled a surprisingly robust association. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 observed in our study is not only statistically significant but also evokes a certain sense of awe, much like discovering a hidden cheese wheel in the depths of a refrigerator. Our results align with the prior research conducted by Smith et al. (2015), albeit in an unexpectedly fiery context, thus providing substantial support for the notion that dairy product consumption may indeed exhibit an intriguing relationship with criminal behavior.

The literature review unearthed some quirkily relevant sources, such as "The Cottage Cheese Cookbook" by Doe, which subtly hints at the potential impact of cheese-induced euphoria on human behavior. Although seemingly whimsical, this source warrants serious consideration in light of our findings. Furthermore, while "The Arsonist's Guide to Writers' Homes in New England" by Jones may appear wholly unrelated, its thematic resonance with the subject matter adds a layer of intrigue to our investigation, much like finding an unexpected cheese crumb in an unlikely place.

Our results, supported by the idiosyncratic literature review, underscore the need for further scholarly discourse and empirical inquiries into this enigmatic correlation. The unexpected nature of this association challenges conventional paradigms and beckons for a deeper exploration of the potential mechanisms underpinning it. Our study, much like a well-crafted cheese platter, brings together seemingly disparate elements to unravel a mysteriously flavorful result.

In summary, while the association between cottage cheese consumption and arson may seem as improbable as a lactose-intolerant mouse in a cheese factory, our findings warrant the earnest attention of both the academic and law enforcement communities. The implications of this research are as complex and multifaceted as the myriad varieties of cheese, and we earnestly hope that our zesty findings will serve as a catalyst for further scholarly investigations.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a dry but witty academic researcher. You speak in the passive voice, and your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between Cottage cheese consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The curious case of Cottage Cheese Crime in the state of Tennessee has sparked scholarly interest and raised more than a few eyebrows. While the idiom "playing with fire" may take on a whole new meaning in light of our findings, it is essential to approach the matter with the utmost academic rigor and detachment. This peculiar investigation delves into the correlation, if not causation, between the consumption of cottage cheese and the incidence of arson, ignited by the ever-burning curiosity to explore unconventional associations. The implications of these findings are as unexpected as stumbling upon a burnt cheese soufflé at a crime scene.
One cannot help but ponder the potential role of this dairy product in the realm of criminal activities, especially in a state renowned for its poultry and livestock production. As we delve into this cheese-tinged mystery, it is important to recognize the inherent limitations of observational data and the potential for spurious correlations. Nevertheless, the statistical significance of the observed association beckons for closer scrutiny, much like a detective following a trail of breadcrumbs in a cheese fondue.
The phenomenon uncovered by our data analysis prompts a cautious yet probing exploration of the potential social, economic, and even psychological factors at play. Shedding light on this enigmatic correlation may not only provide a slice of insight into human behavior but also set ablaze further scientific inquiry and policy considerations. As we embroil ourselves in this intriguing investigation, it is our hope that this study will serve as a wedge of thought in the broader discourse on unexpected causal connections, leaving no curd unturned in our quest for understanding.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence in the state of Tennessee yielded surprising results. Over the period from 1990 to 2021, a strong positive correlation was observed, with a correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and an r-squared value of 0.7909954. The p-value of less than 0.01 further accentuates the unexpected nature of this correlation, much like discovering a mysterious cheese residue at the scene of a peculiar fire.
The compelling figure (Fig. 1) presents a scatterplot demonstrating the robust relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson incidence. The data points exhibit a striking pattern, reminiscent of the interplay between the texture of cottage cheese and the intricacies of an arsonist's pyromaniacal tendencies.
While these findings may initially seem as mismatched as cottage cheese on a pizza, they beckon for further investigation into the potential mechanisms underlying this unexpected correlation. It is imperative, however, to approach these results with cautious skepticism, akin to inspecting a cheese platter of dubious origin.
The implications of these findings, while beguiling, should be interpreted with a grain of salt, or perhaps a sprinkling of cheese. As we peel back the layers of this peculiar correlation, it is evident that dairy products, much like clandestine fire-starting activities, may hold unexpected secrets worthy of scholarly and investigative attention. Further exploration of this uncharted territory may yield a bounty of knowledge that is as rich and complex as a well-aged cheddar.

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Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our investigation into the mysterious relationship between cottage cheese consumption and arson in Tennessee has unearthed a compelling correlation that demands further contemplation. While we cannot leap to conclusive inferences about causation, the statistical link between these seemingly unrelated phenomena is as intriguing as discovering a hidden cheese stash in the pantry.

The robust correlation coefficient and p-value prompt us to take heed of this unexpected association, much like stumbling upon an unknown cheese variety at a wine tasting. The extensive data analysis has shed light on a connection that is as enigmatic as it is cheesy, sparking discussions reminiscent of a fondue party gone awry.

As we wrap up this investigation, it is apparent that the study of dairy consumption and its potential impact on criminal behavior is as complex and multifaceted as a cheese platter at a high-society soirée. The implications of our findings may ripple through diverse fields, much like the aromatic fragrance of a pungent cheese wheel.

While our research has served its purpose, much like a satisfying cheese course at the end of a meal, we venture to assert that no further research is needed in this area. The link between cottage cheese consumption and arson in Tennessee is a matter that undoubtedly requires a thorough grilling, but it is time to turn our attention to other equally bizarre but tantalizing research endeavors.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Dairy Delinquency


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Dairy Delinquency Research


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Cottage Cheese Crime: Unraveling the Link between Consumption and Arson in Tennessee with an abstract of This paper delves into the peculiar, yet surprisingly pertinent matter of the relationship between cottage cheese consumption and the incidence of arson in the state of Tennessee. Using rigorous statistical analysis of data sourced from the USDA and FBI Criminal Justice Information Services spanning the years 1990 to 2021, our research team uncovered a rather striking correlation. The correlation coefficient of 0.8893792 and the p-value of less than 0.01 certainly raise some eyebrows and ignite scholarly curiosity. While we must tread cautiously in drawing causational inferences from these findings, the dairy-eerie connection between this curdled delight and acts of fiery mischief cannot be ignored. We hope our zesty findings will spark further investigations and discussions in both the academic and law enforcement communities.

ChatGPT:

cottage cheese consumption, arson incidence, Tennessee, statistical analysis, USDA data, FBI Criminal Justice Information Services, correlation coefficient, causational inferences, dairy consumption, fiery mischief, academic discussions, law enforcement investigations

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

Cottage cheese consumption
Detailed data title: Per capita consumption of Cottage cheese in the US
Source: USDA
See what else correlates with Cottage cheese consumption

Arson in Tennessee
Detailed data title: The arson rate per 100,000 residents in Tennessee
Source: FBI Criminal Justice Information Services
See what else correlates with Arson in Tennessee

Correlation r = 0.8893792 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7909954 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 79.1% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Arson in Tennessee) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., Cottage cheese consumption) over the 32 years from 1990 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.02E-11. 0.0000000000102209732046832920
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.89 in 1.02E-9% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 97,838,041,444 random variables You don't actually need 97 billion variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 31 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 31 because we have two variables measured over a period of 32 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.78, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
19901991199219931994199519961997199819992000200120022003200420052006200720082009201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
Cottage cheese consumption (Pounds per person)3.33.23.12.92.82.72.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.62.72.72.62.62.32.42.32.32.32.12.12.12.22.12.12.121.9
Arson in Tennessee (Arson rate)37.536.430.127.525.826.724.5262626.410.730.126.826.825.524.623.421.420.619.718.317.9191716.614.116.514.312.412.214.613.7




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,237 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 636,906,169 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([3.3,3.2,3.1,2.9,2.8,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.6,2.7,2.7,2.6,2.6,2.3,2.4,2.3,2.3,2.3,2.1,2.1,2.1,2.2,2.1,2.1,2.1,2,1.9,])
array_2 = np.array([37.5,36.4,30.1,27.5,25.8,26.7,24.5,26,26,26.4,10.7,30.1,26.8,26.8,25.5,24.6,23.4,21.4,20.6,19.7,18.3,17.9,19,17,16.6,14.1,16.5,14.3,12.4,12.2,14.6,13.7,])
array_1_name = "Cottage cheese consumption"
array_2_name = "Arson in Tennessee"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 1312 · Black Variable ID: 556 · Red Variable ID: 20070
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