Spurious correlation #1,207 · View random
A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Saturn and the second variable is Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. The chart goes from 1997 to 2019, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The distance between Uranus and Saturn and the second variable is Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. The chart goes from 1997 to 2019, and the two variables track closely in value over that time.

Download png, svg

AI explanation

As the distance between Uranus and Saturn increases, it creates a gravitational fluctuation that directly impacts women on Earth, leading to more frown lines and wrinkles. This, in turn, drives up the demand for Botox injections as women strive to defy the gravitational pull of aging, reaching for that out-of-this-world youthful appearance.

^{Show image generation prompt} Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image of a futuristic scene where in a tranquil night sky, Saturn and Uranus drift farther apart. The magnificent rings of Saturn glisten and expand, as if stretching outwards, creating a gentle tug in the space around them. On Earth, women are visiting a clinic, with a subtle yet noticeable increase in the number of Botox injections being administered. Their relaxed expressions after the procedure suggest a newfound sense of youthful confidence. The image should capture the serene cosmic dance of the planets and the subtle transformation of human faces, all in a futuristic and visually compelling style. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.

This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: The increase in the distance between Uranus and Saturn caused the Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women to also increase because with Uranus out of the way, Saturn's rings were able to expand, creating a gravitational disturbance that subtly altered the perception of aging. This led to a collective societal shift in beauty standards, prompting more women to seek Botox injections to maintain a youthful appearance.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A Discovery magazine cover image Realistic Futuristic Parallax art Art nouveau
ChatGPT: Futuristic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. The increase in the distance between Uranus and Saturn caused the Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women to also increase because with Uranus out of the way, Saturn's rings were able to expand, creating a gravitational disturbance that subtly altered the perception of aging. This led to a collective societal shift in beauty standards, prompting more women to seek Botox injections to maintain a youthful appearance.
ChatGPT: In a tranquil night sky, Saturn and Uranus are seen drifting farther apart. As this happens, the magnificent rings of Saturn glisten and expand, as if stretching outwards, creating a gentle tug in the space around them. Meanwhile, on Earth, women are visiting a clinic, with a subtle yet noticeable increase in the number of Botox injections being administered. Their relaxed expressions after the procedure suggest a newfound sense of youthful confidence.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Futuristic ] and depicting this scene: In a tranquil night sky, Saturn and Uranus are seen drifting farther apart. As this happens, the magnificent rings of Saturn glisten and expand, as if stretching outwards, creating a gentle tug in the space around them. Meanwhile, on Earth, women are visiting a clinic, with a subtle yet noticeable increase in the number of Botox injections being administered. Their relaxed expressions after the procedure suggest a newfound sense of youthful confidence. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image of a futuristic scene where in a tranquil night sky, Saturn and Uranus drift farther apart. The magnificent rings of Saturn glisten and expand, as if stretching outwards, creating a gentle tug in the space around them. On Earth, women are visiting a clinic, with a subtle yet noticeable increase in the number of Botox injections being administered. Their relaxed expressions after the procedure suggest a newfound sense of youthful confidence. The image should capture the serene cosmic dance of the planets and the subtle transformation of human faces, all in a futuristic and visually compelling style.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.
^{Show prompt for explanation} Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in The distance between Uranus and Saturn caused Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women to increase. Make it feel plausible.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)

The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

The Journal of Cosmic Contradictions

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!

^{Show prompt used to generate this paper} Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Saturn and Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then cite some social media posts you read that seem to be related.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

[[ABSTRACT]]
The relationship between the celestial spheres and the human desire for youthfulness has long been an enigmatic enigma. This study aimed to illuminate the perplexing correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Leveraging data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and utilizing astrometric calculations from Astropy, our findings reveal a surprisingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1997 to 2019. The implications of these results are as vast as the expanse of the universe, highlighting the interconnectedness of the cosmos and the desire to defy the gravitational pull of time and aging. While the mechanism underlying this correlation remains shrouded in the celestial shadows, it presents a tantalizing avenue for future research, potentially revealing the cosmic secrets behind earthly pursuits of beauty.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The pursuit of scientific inquiry has often led us to unexpected and bewildering connections, akin to stumbling upon a cosmic cat video while conducting a solemn search for exoplanets. In this vein, our inquiry delves into the celestial dance of Uranus and Saturn, juxtaposed against the earthly endeavor of maintaining youthful appearances through the administration of Botox injections. While the two subjects may seem as incongruous as a supernova in a teacup, our investigation seeks to unravel the mysterious thread that intertwines these seemingly disparate entities.
The notion of astronomical bodies influencing terrestrial affairs has historically captivated the human imagination, with whimsical associations drawn between lunar cycles and human behavior, resulting in an astrological menagerie of curious claims. Similarly, the practice of Botox injections, aimed at smoothing wrinkles and defying the relentless march of time, has become a ubiquitous aspect of modern society, prompting both admiration and consternation among observers.
Our study, set against this cosmic backdrop, endeavors to shed light on the hitherto unexplored relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the occurrences of Botox injections administered to women. The observed correlation, should it exist, would paint a picture as improbable as discovering a quasar at the center of a labyrinth – but such is the serendipitous nature of scientific inquiry.
Now, before delving into the depths of statistical analyses and astrometric calculations, we must ground our lofty ambitions with a review of the existing literature, establishing the context for our endeavors and assuring the reader that we are not merely launching theoretical probes into the interstellar void without a stellar roadmap.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their seminal work, Smith et al. (2005) explore the gravitational interplay between Uranus and Saturn, elucidating the complex dynamics of these distant celestial bodies. Their rigorous astrometric analyses reveal the intricacies of orbital mechanics, underscoring the vast expanse and profound influence of these gas giants within the solar system. Building on this astronomical foundation, Doe and colleagues (2010) delve into the societal phenomenon of Botox injections, documenting the exponential rise in cosmetic procedures aimed at rejuvenating aging skin. Their ethnographic study captures the aspirations and insecurities driving individuals to embrace the exquisite artistry of cosmetic enhancement, transcending the boundary between vanity and self-expression.

However, as we traverse this interstellar terrain, we encounter a constellation of literature that extends beyond the traditional astrophysical and sociological realms. Works such as "Cosmic Connections: Astrology in the Millennial Age" by astrologer Celeste Starstruck (2012) broach the cosmic influences on human existence, delving into the cosmic energies purportedly emanating from celestial bodies. While the scientific community may view such treatises with raised eyebrows, the enduring allure of astrological musings cannot be ignored, akin to a persistent gravitational pull tugging at the fabric of skeptical inquiry.

In a similar vein, the realm of fiction offers a divergent perspective on the cosmic and cosmetic confluence. Novels such as "The Wrinkle Chronicles" by Penelope Plump (2016) weave a narrative tapestry of interplanetary intrigue, entwined with the earthly pursuit of eternal youth. The juxtaposition of cosmic escapades and cosmetic quests in literary imagination reflects the enduring fascination with the cosmic and corporeal interplay, inviting readers to ponder the celestial echoes within the mundane moments of personal vanity.

Venturing beyond the printed page, the digital cosmos pulsates with anecdotes and observations that resonate with the enigmatic relationship under investigation. Social media posts such as "Botox and the Zodiac: Aligning Your Cosmic Glow-Up" and "Saturn's Rings and Seamless Skin: Celestial Secrets of Youthful Radiance," reflect the creative permutations of celestial fascination and cosmetic preoccupations. While these musings may border on the whimsical, they encapsulate the boundless human ingenuity in forging connections between the celestial and the corporeal, echoing the timeless adage that truth may indeed be stranger than fiction.

As we navigate this intellectual galaxy of diverse influences, the amalgamation of scholarly scrutiny, literary imagination, and digital discourse unveils a multifaceted panorama, enriching our understanding of the curious correlation between the celestial mechanics of Uranus and Saturn and the terrestrial pursuit of ageless allure.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Saturn and Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Caclculated using Astropy and American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery . You used data from 1997 to 2019

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

[[ABSTRACT]]
The relationship between the celestial spheres and the human desire for youthfulness has long been an enigmatic enigma. This study aimed to illuminate the perplexing correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Leveraging data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and utilizing astrometric calculations from Astropy, our findings reveal a surprisingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1997 to 2019. The implications of these results are as vast as the expanse of the universe, highlighting the interconnectedness of the cosmos and the desire to defy the gravitational pull of time and aging. While the mechanism underlying this correlation remains shrouded in the celestial shadows, it presents a tantalizing avenue for future research, potentially revealing the cosmic secrets behind earthly pursuits of beauty.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The pursuit of scientific inquiry has often led us to unexpected and bewildering connections, akin to stumbling upon a cosmic cat video while conducting a solemn search for exoplanets. In this vein, our inquiry delves into the celestial dance of Uranus and Saturn, juxtaposed against the earthly endeavor of maintaining youthful appearances through the administration of Botox injections. While the two subjects may seem as incongruous as a supernova in a teacup, our investigation seeks to unravel the mysterious thread that intertwines these seemingly disparate entities.
The notion of astronomical bodies influencing terrestrial affairs has historically captivated the human imagination, with whimsical associations drawn between lunar cycles and human behavior, resulting in an astrological menagerie of curious claims. Similarly, the practice of Botox injections, aimed at smoothing wrinkles and defying the relentless march of time, has become a ubiquitous aspect of modern society, prompting both admiration and consternation among observers.
Our study, set against this cosmic backdrop, endeavors to shed light on the hitherto unexplored relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the occurrences of Botox injections administered to women. The observed correlation, should it exist, would paint a picture as improbable as discovering a quasar at the center of a labyrinth – but such is the serendipitous nature of scientific inquiry.
Now, before delving into the depths of statistical analyses and astrometric calculations, we must ground our lofty ambitions with a review of the existing literature, establishing the context for our endeavors and assuring the reader that we are not merely launching theoretical probes into the interstellar void without a stellar roadmap.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unravel the cosmic conundrum of Uranus, Saturn, and the wrinkle-reducing wonders of Botox injections, our research team embarked on a convoluted journey that would make even the most intrepid space explorer raise an eyebrow – albeit a perfectly smooth and youthful one.

Data Collection:

Our first task involved tapping into the wealth of information available on the worldwide web, traversing the digital galaxies in search of the necessary celestial and cosmetic coordinates. We primarily relied on data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, navigating through their virtual archives like astronomers charting a course through the cosmic constellations. Our quest also led us to utilize calculations derived from the illustrious Astropy software, which provided the precise astronomical distances between Uranus and Saturn.

Not content with merely scratching the surface of time and space, we diligently compiled data spanning the years 1997 to 2019, ensuring a comprehensive exploration of both the celestial and cosmetic domains. As we ventured through the virtual cosmos, our endeavors bore witness to the juxtaposition of astronomical marvels and earthly beautification practices, bridging the gap between the celestial and the superficial in a manner that would make even the most discerning statistician raise an intrigued eyebrow.

Statistical Analysis:

Armed with our celestial and cosmetic data, we huddled around the statistical hearth, meticulously crunching numbers with the precision of an intergalactic laser beam. To assess the relationship between the orbital dynamics of Uranus and Saturn and the administration of Botox injections, we employed rigorous statistical techniques, carefully guarding against the pitfalls of spurious correlations and cosmic coincidences.

Our analysis sought to elucidate the nuanced interplay between these variables, employing correlation coefficients and p-values akin to cosmic probes navigating the gravitational forces of statistical significance. The dense nebula of data was meticulously transversed, with each statistical test serving as a waypoint on our celestial odyssey, guiding us toward the cosmic truth that lay hidden amid the numerical stars.

Data Driven Conclusions:

As our cosmic expedition drew to a close, our statistical analyses unveiled a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 between the average distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Astonishingly, this correlation exhibited a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, illuminating the cosmic pathways that connect the celestial dance of planets with the earthly pursuit of youthful radiance.

Embarking on this scientific journey, we found ourselves navigating the celestial and cosmetic realms with equal fervor, uncovering an unexpected link that transcends the confines of either domain. With our findings in hand, we stand at the precipice of enlightenment, peering into the cosmic abyss while pondering the terrestrial implications of our celestial revelations.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Saturn and Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

[[ABSTRACT]]
The relationship between the celestial spheres and the human desire for youthfulness has long been an enigmatic enigma. This study aimed to illuminate the perplexing correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Leveraging data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and utilizing astrometric calculations from Astropy, our findings reveal a surprisingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1997 to 2019. The implications of these results are as vast as the expanse of the universe, highlighting the interconnectedness of the cosmos and the desire to defy the gravitational pull of time and aging. While the mechanism underlying this correlation remains shrouded in the celestial shadows, it presents a tantalizing avenue for future research, potentially revealing the cosmic secrets behind earthly pursuits of beauty.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their seminal work, Smith et al. (2005) explore the gravitational interplay between Uranus and Saturn, elucidating the complex dynamics of these distant celestial bodies. Their rigorous astrometric analyses reveal the intricacies of orbital mechanics, underscoring the vast expanse and profound influence of these gas giants within the solar system. Building on this astronomical foundation, Doe and colleagues (2010) delve into the societal phenomenon of Botox injections, documenting the exponential rise in cosmetic procedures aimed at rejuvenating aging skin. Their ethnographic study captures the aspirations and insecurities driving individuals to embrace the exquisite artistry of cosmetic enhancement, transcending the boundary between vanity and self-expression.
However, as we traverse this interstellar terrain, we encounter a constellation of literature that extends beyond the traditional astrophysical and sociological realms. Works such as "Cosmic Connections: Astrology in the Millennial Age" by astrologer Celeste Starstruck (2012) broach the cosmic influences on human existence, delving into the cosmic energies purportedly emanating from celestial bodies. While the scientific community may view such treatises with raised eyebrows, the enduring allure of astrological musings cannot be ignored, akin to a persistent gravitational pull tugging at the fabric of skeptical inquiry.
In a similar vein, the realm of fiction offers a divergent perspective on the cosmic and cosmetic confluence. Novels such as "The Wrinkle Chronicles" by Penelope Plump (2016) weave a narrative tapestry of interplanetary intrigue, entwined with the earthly pursuit of eternal youth. The juxtaposition of cosmic escapades and cosmetic quests in literary imagination reflects the enduring fascination with the cosmic and corporeal interplay, inviting readers to ponder the celestial echoes within the mundane moments of personal vanity.
Venturing beyond the printed page, the digital cosmos pulsates with anecdotes and observations that resonate with the enigmatic relationship under investigation. Social media posts such as "Botox and the Zodiac: Aligning Your Cosmic Glow-Up" and "Saturn's Rings and Seamless Skin: Celestial Secrets of Youthful Radiance," reflect the creative permutations of celestial fascination and cosmetic preoccupations. While these musings may border on the whimsical, they encapsulate the boundless human ingenuity in forging connections between the celestial and the corporeal, echoing the timeless adage that truth may indeed be stranger than fiction.
As we navigate this intellectual galaxy of diverse influences, the amalgamation of scholarly scrutiny, literary imagination, and digital discourse unveils a multifaceted panorama, enriching our understanding of the curious correlation between the celestial mechanics of Uranus and Saturn and the terrestrial pursuit of ageless allure.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analyses conducted in this study unveiled a remarkable correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Over the period from 1997 to 2019, we found a robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426, signifying a strong positive relationship between these celestial and terrestrial phenomena. Additionally, the coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.6746037 denotes that approximately 67.46% of the variance in Botox injections can be explained by the distance between these planetary giants.
The observed correlation possessed a level of significance that would make even the most hardened skeptic raise an eyebrow – with a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings refuted the null hypothesis with a cosmic force akin to a black hole devouring a passing asteroid. This statistical significance indicates that the relationship between these celestial distances and the pursuit of youthful appearances through Botox injections is not merely a chance alignment of celestial bodies but a bona fide phenomenon worthy of scientific inquiry.
In Fig. 1, we present a scatterplot illustrating the unmistakable pattern of association between the variables. It portrays a trajectory of data points that could rival the mesmerizing orbits of planets, reminding us that in the grand cosmic ballet, even the most unexpected pairs may find themselves dancing in synchrony.
The implications of our findings transcend the mere numerical values and statistical significance, heralding a new era of interdisciplinary inquiry that blurs the traditional boundaries between the celestial and the mundane. The enigma of this correlation beckons researchers to peek beyond the telescopic lens and into the cosmic abyss, seeking the elusive gravitational waves that may bind the distant planets to the intimate aspirations of earthly beings.
Our investigation, much like a meteor hurtling through space, has ignited a trail of questions that beg for further elucidation. While we have illuminated a slice of this celestial-cosmetic continuum, the underlying mechanism governing this correlation remains shrouded in cosmic obscurity. Nonetheless, our results stand as a testament to the fortuitous nature of scientific exploration, driving us to probe deeper into the cosmic fabric that weaves together the mysteries of the universe and the whims of human endeavor.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

In light of the robust correlation between the average distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the frequency of Botox injections administered to women, our results underscore the captivating interplay between the celestial and terrestrial realms. These findings not only corroborate prior research but also illuminate the gravitational pull exerted by the distant gas giants on the earthly pursuit of ageless allure.

Advancing upon the astronomical elucidation by Smith et al. (2005), our study not only reaffirms the gravitational gravitas of Uranus and Saturn within the solar system but also astoundingly extends their influence to the realm of human cosmetic practices. The strong positive correlation coefficient echoes the profound impact of these celestial bodies, akin to the gravitational dance orchestrated by the cosmic choreographer. Moreover, the literature mildly hinting at potential cosmic influences on human existence takes on a fascinating resonance in light of our statistically significant findings, as if the celestial bodies indeed whisper subtle cosmic cues that reverberate through the human desire for youthful radiance.

While our quantitative analyses paint a compelling picture of the intertwined cosmic and cosmetic tapestries, the underlying mechanisms governing this correlation remain cloaked in celestial mystery, akin to the elusive dark matter defying conventional observations. The allure of this cosmic-cosmetic nexus beckons researchers to summon their intellectual telescopes and delve into the cosmic abyss, reminiscent of intrepid astronomers peering into the enigmatic depths of the universe.

Echoing the illuminated slice of this celestial-cosmetic continuum, the multifaceted panorama of literature that we traversed during our literature review assumes newfound significance, akin to constellations aligning in the night sky to form a coherent pattern. The interstellar influences depicted in anecdotes and observations on social media, akin to cosmic impulses reverberating through human expression, now present themselves as intriguing pointers to the cosmic-cosmetic forces at play.

As we stand at the intersection of the distant gas giants and the syringe-wielding proponents of skin rejuvenation, the temptation to dismiss this correlation as a mere chance alignment of celestial bodies loses its luster in the face of our statistically significant findings. Instead, these results beckon us to embrace the speculative expanse of interdisciplinary inquiry, akin to daring cosmic adventurers. For no matter how outlandish the cosmic connection may seem, the pursuit of truth in science often unfolds as a quirky cosmic ballet, where even the most improbable pairs find themselves dancing in synchrony.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The distance between Uranus and Saturn and Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

[[ABSTRACT]]
The relationship between the celestial spheres and the human desire for youthfulness has long been an enigmatic enigma. This study aimed to illuminate the perplexing correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Leveraging data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and utilizing astrometric calculations from Astropy, our findings reveal a surprisingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1997 to 2019. The implications of these results are as vast as the expanse of the universe, highlighting the interconnectedness of the cosmos and the desire to defy the gravitational pull of time and aging. While the mechanism underlying this correlation remains shrouded in the celestial shadows, it presents a tantalizing avenue for future research, potentially revealing the cosmic secrets behind earthly pursuits of beauty.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The pursuit of scientific inquiry has often led us to unexpected and bewildering connections, akin to stumbling upon a cosmic cat video while conducting a solemn search for exoplanets. In this vein, our inquiry delves into the celestial dance of Uranus and Saturn, juxtaposed against the earthly endeavor of maintaining youthful appearances through the administration of Botox injections. While the two subjects may seem as incongruous as a supernova in a teacup, our investigation seeks to unravel the mysterious thread that intertwines these seemingly disparate entities.
The notion of astronomical bodies influencing terrestrial affairs has historically captivated the human imagination, with whimsical associations drawn between lunar cycles and human behavior, resulting in an astrological menagerie of curious claims. Similarly, the practice of Botox injections, aimed at smoothing wrinkles and defying the relentless march of time, has become a ubiquitous aspect of modern society, prompting both admiration and consternation among observers.
Our study, set against this cosmic backdrop, endeavors to shed light on the hitherto unexplored relationship between the distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the occurrences of Botox injections administered to women. The observed correlation, should it exist, would paint a picture as improbable as discovering a quasar at the center of a labyrinth – but such is the serendipitous nature of scientific inquiry.
Now, before delving into the depths of statistical analyses and astrometric calculations, we must ground our lofty ambitions with a review of the existing literature, establishing the context for our endeavors and assuring the reader that we are not merely launching theoretical probes into the interstellar void without a stellar roadmap.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analyses conducted in this study unveiled a remarkable correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Over the period from 1997 to 2019, we found a robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426, signifying a strong positive relationship between these celestial and terrestrial phenomena. Additionally, the coefficient of determination (r-squared) of 0.6746037 denotes that approximately 67.46% of the variance in Botox injections can be explained by the distance between these planetary giants.
The observed correlation possessed a level of significance that would make even the most hardened skeptic raise an eyebrow – with a p-value of less than 0.01, our findings refuted the null hypothesis with a cosmic force akin to a black hole devouring a passing asteroid. This statistical significance indicates that the relationship between these celestial distances and the pursuit of youthful appearances through Botox injections is not merely a chance alignment of celestial bodies but a bona fide phenomenon worthy of scientific inquiry.
In Fig. 1, we present a scatterplot illustrating the unmistakable pattern of association between the variables. It portrays a trajectory of data points that could rival the mesmerizing orbits of planets, reminding us that in the grand cosmic ballet, even the most unexpected pairs may find themselves dancing in synchrony.
The implications of our findings transcend the mere numerical values and statistical significance, heralding a new era of interdisciplinary inquiry that blurs the traditional boundaries between the celestial and the mundane. The enigma of this correlation beckons researchers to peek beyond the telescopic lens and into the cosmic abyss, seeking the elusive gravitational waves that may bind the distant planets to the intimate aspirations of earthly beings.
Our investigation, much like a meteor hurtling through space, has ignited a trail of questions that beg for further elucidation. While we have illuminated a slice of this celestial-cosmetic continuum, the underlying mechanism governing this correlation remains shrouded in cosmic obscurity. Nonetheless, our results stand as a testament to the fortuitous nature of scientific exploration, driving us to probe deeper into the cosmic fabric that weaves together the mysteries of the universe and the whims of human endeavor.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]

ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In the timeless quest for scientific understanding, our investigation has plumbed the depths of the cosmos and the depths of the dermis, weaving a tale as captivating as a celestial comedy of errors. The robust correlation between the average distance separating Uranus and Saturn and the frequency of Botox injections administered to women has unfurled before us like a radiant supernova, reminding us that in the vast expanse of the universe, even the most unlikely bedfellows may find themselves entwined in cosmic synchrony.

While our findings may seem as precarious as an asteroid teetering on the edge of a cosmic cliff, the statistical evidence is as convincing as a well-controlled laboratory experiment. The significant correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 stands as sturdily as a neutron star, beckoning us to ponder the cosmic forces that may underpin this enigmatic relationship – a cosmic dance that transcends the mundane and flirts with the boundless whims of the cosmos.

The implications of our results, while as weighty as a black hole's gravitational pull, extend far beyond mere statistical significance, heralding a new era of interdisciplinary exploration that beckons researchers to leap beyond the confines of traditional scientific domains. However, much like a quasar obscured by interstellar dust, the mechanisms underlying this cosmic-cosmetic connection remain tantalizingly hidden, teasing us with the promise of breakthroughs yet to be unveiled.

With this in mind, we assert that our findings stand as a testament to the capricious nature of scientific inquiry, draped in the cosmic fabric that weaves together the stellar phenomena and earthly endeavors. As such, we firmly conclude that no further research is needed in this tantalizing realm, leaving it to rest as comfortably as an astronaut in stasis, until the siren call of scientific serendipity lures us back to the cosmic conundrum once more.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Cosmic Contradictions

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

Cosmic Conundrum Consortium

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain with an abstract of The relationship between the celestial spheres and the human desire for youthfulness has long been an enigmatic enigma. This study aimed to illuminate the perplexing correlation between the average distance between Uranus and Saturn and the number of Botox injections administered to women. Leveraging data from the American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery and utilizing astrometric calculations from Astropy, our findings reveal a surprisingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.8213426 with a statistically significant p-value of less than 0.01, spanning the years 1997 to 2019. The implications of these results are as vast as the expanse of the universe, highlighting the interconnectedness of the cosmos and the desire to defy the gravitational pull of time and aging. While the mechanism underlying this correlation remains shrouded in the celestial shadows, it presents a tantalizing avenue for future research, potentially revealing the cosmic secrets behind earthly pursuits of beauty.

ChatGPT:

Uranus, Saturn, celestial spheres, Botox injections, women, American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery, astrometric calculations, Astropy, correlation coefficient, p-value, aging, universe, cosmic secrets, beauty, youthfulness

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.

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Data details

The distance between Uranus and Saturn
Detailed data title: The average distance between Uranus and Saturn as measured on the first day of each month
Source: Caclculated using Astropy
Additional Info: ^{See full details} I wrote a Python script using Astropy to calculate the distance between the named planets on the first day of each month for every year.

See what else correlates with The distance between Uranus and Saturn

Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women
Source: American Society for Aesthetic Plastic Surgery
See what else correlates with Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women

Correlation r = 0.8213426 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r² = 0.6746037 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 67.5% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The distance between Uranus and Saturn) over the 23 years from 1997 through 2019.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.6E-6.^Show 0.0000015586920679964302000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme.^Note More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.82 in 0.00016% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 641,564 random variables^Note You don't actually need 641 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 22 degrees of freedom, ^Note Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 22 because we have two variables measured over a period of 23 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.62, 0.92 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
^{Read more about the confidence interval} The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!

All values for the years included above: ^Note If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.

	1997	1998	1999	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004	2005	2006	2007	2008	2009	2010	2011	2012	2013	2014	2015	2016	2017	2018	2019
The distance between Uranus and Saturn (Planetary distance (AU))	18.2714	19.6922	21.0895	22.4424	23.7228	24.9111	25.9888	26.942	27.7542	28.4186	28.9315	29.2926	29.503	29.5677	29.4929	29.2849	28.9515	28.4998	27.9362	27.2649	26.4942	25.6278	24.6697
Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women (Injections)	60000	148000	455000	971000	1380000	1424000	1963000	2525000	2990000	2881000	2446000	2239000	2299000	2212000	2355000	2916000	3381000	3174000	3828000	4144000	1387000	1638000	1541000

Why this works

Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
Lack of causal connection: There is probably^Note Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple^Note Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. ^Note Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.

Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. ^{Show the steps to do this.} Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."

# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([18.2714,19.6922,21.0895,22.4424,23.7228,24.9111,25.9888,26.942,27.7542,28.4186,28.9315,29.2926,29.503,29.5677,29.4929,29.2849,28.9515,28.4998,27.9362,27.2649,26.4942,25.6278,24.6697,])
array_2 = np.array([60000,148000,455000,971000,1380000,1424000,1963000,2525000,2990000,2881000,2446000,2239000,2299000,2212000,2355000,2916000,3381000,3174000,3828000,4144000,1387000,1638000,1541000,])
array_1_name = "The distance between Uranus and Saturn"
array_2_name = "Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)

Reuseable content

You may re-use the images on this page for any purpose, even commercial purposes, without asking for permission. The only requirement is that you attribute Tyler Vigen. ^Note Attribution can take many different forms. If you leave the "tylervigen.com" link in the image, that satisfies it just fine. If you remove it and move it to a footnote, that's fine too. You can also just write "Charts courtesy of Tyler Vigen" at the bottom of an article.

You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

Full license details.
For more on re-use permissions, or to get a signed release form, see tylervigen.com/permission.

Download images for these variables:

High resolution line chart ^Note The image linked here is a Scalable Vector Graphic (SVG). It is the highest resolution that is possible to achieve. It scales up beyond the size of the observable universe without pixelating. You do not need to email me asking if I have a higher resolution image. I do not. The physical limitations of our universe prevent me from providing you with an image that is any higher resolution than this one.

If you insert it into a PowerPoint presentation (a tool well-known for managing things that are the scale of the universe), you can right-click > "Ungroup" or "Create Shape" and then edit the lines and text directly. You can also change the colors this way.

Alternatively you can use a tool like Inkscape.
High resolution line chart, optimized for mobile
Alternative high resolution line chart
Scatterplot
Portable line chart (png)
Portable line chart (png), optimized for mobile
Line chart for only The distance between Uranus and Saturn
Line chart for only Number of Botox Injections Administered to Women
The spurious research paper: The Twinkle Twinkle: Titanically Tautological Ties between Uranus and Saturn and The Toxin Tonic - Traversing the Trans-Newtonian Terrain

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Correlation ID: 1207 · Black Variable ID: 1966 · Red Variable ID: 9


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