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Spurious correlation #1,049 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of biological technicians in Maryland and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with Sprint.  The chart goes from 2004 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the number of biological technicians in Maryland increased, so did the local flora and fauna. The lush greenery and vibrant ecosystem had an unexpected side effect - it boosted people's moods and overall happiness. This ripple of joy spread throughout the state, reaching Sprint customers and leading to a surge in their satisfaction. Who would have thought that a couple of extra technicians could lead to such a wild connection?

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: [Hyper-realistic] In a laboratory in Maryland, a group of biological technicians work diligently under powerful microscopes, carefully observing and analyzing cellular communication at a microscopic level. The technicians are shown manipulating intricate cellular structures with precise instruments, ensuring smooth and efficient interactions between them. Meanwhile, the signal strength meter on the Sprint network equipment is depicted steadily rising, indicating improved network efficiency. Outside the laboratory, customers are depicted happily talking on their phones without experiencing any dropped calls. They are shown smiling and expressing satisfaction with their improved service. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the situation described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here is a situation: The increase in the number of biological technicians in Maryland caused an increase in customer satisfaction with Sprint because the technicians mastered the art of cellular communication at a microscopic level, leading to improved network efficiency and fewer dropped calls. As they fine-tuned their cellular observations, they inadvertently enhanced Sprint's signal strength and coverage, ultimately leading to happier customers and higher customer satisfaction ratings.. Given that situation, which of the following image descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand and the tone of the explanation. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: 3D Pixar Style Hyper-realistic Low poly Hyper-realistic A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s
ChatGPT: Hyper-realistic

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated and the explanation described. Do not reference graphs or charts; describe physical objects.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that depicts the following situation. Keep the description simple. The increase in the number of biological technicians in Maryland caused an increase in customer satisfaction with Sprint because the technicians mastered the art of cellular communication at a microscopic level, leading to improved network efficiency and fewer dropped calls. As they fine-tuned their cellular observations, they inadvertently enhanced Sprint's signal strength and coverage, ultimately leading to happier customers and higher customer satisfaction ratings.
ChatGPT: In a laboratory in Maryland, a group of biological technicians work diligently under microscope, observing and analyzing cellular communication at a microscopic level. They meticulously adjust and fine-tune the cellular components, ensuring smooth and efficient interactions. As they work, the signal strength meter on the Sprint network equipment steadily rises, showing improved network efficiency. Outside the laboratory, customers happily talk on their phones without experiencing any dropped calls, smiling and expressing satisfaction with their improved service.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Hyper-realistic ] and depicting this scene: In a laboratory in Maryland, a group of biological technicians work diligently under microscope, observing and analyzing cellular communication at a microscopic level. They meticulously adjust and fine-tune the cellular components, ensuring smooth and efficient interactions. As they work, the signal strength meter on the Sprint network equipment steadily rises, showing improved network efficiency. Outside the laboratory, customers happily talk on their phones without experiencing any dropped calls, smiling and expressing satisfaction with their improved service. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: [Hyper-realistic] In a laboratory in Maryland, a group of biological technicians work diligently under powerful microscopes, carefully observing and analyzing cellular communication at a microscopic level. The technicians are shown manipulating intricate cellular structures with precise instruments, ensuring smooth and efficient interactions between them. Meanwhile, the signal strength meter on the Sprint network equipment is depicted steadily rising, indicating improved network efficiency. Outside the laboratory, customers are depicted happily talking on their phones without experiencing any dropped calls. They are shown smiling and expressing satisfaction with their improved service.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in The number of biological technicians in Maryland caused Customer satisfaction with Sprint to increase.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint

Journal of Bio-Tech Consumer Insights

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title a clever pun.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for 2004 to 2020.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

When considering the multitude of factors that can influence customer satisfaction, the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint may initially appear to be as incongruous as a sponge in a particle accelerator. However, in the world of statistical analysis, the unlikeliest of bedfellows often reveal an unexpected harmony that leaves researchers scratching their heads in bemusement. This peculiar dance of statistical serendipity is what prompted our investigation into the relationship between these seemingly disparate variables.

In the annals of research, it is not uncommon for the pursuit of knowledge to lead us down winding and convoluted paths, not unlike a laboratory technician trying to navigate an unfamiliar maze of data. Nevertheless, armed with the potent elixir of statistical tools and methodological rigor, we endeavored to decode the intricate intertwining of biological technicians and Sprint's customer satisfaction, knowing full well that the pursuit of knowledge can be as unpredictable as a particle's trajectory in quantum mechanics.

The dichotomy between the painstaking precision of biological research and the fleeting nature of consumer sentiment may seem as incongruous as trying to fit a square peg into a round statistical model, yet it is precisely these unexpected juxtapositions that often yield the most intriguing insights. As the enigmatic puzzle of statistical relationships unfolded before our eyes, we found ourselves on the precipice of uncovering a curious connection that defied conventional wisdom, much like a scientist stumbling upon an unforeseen chemical reaction in the lab.

Our empirical journey, stretching from 2004 to 2020, propelled us into the annals of labor statistics and consumer perceptions, akin to a cosmic odyssey through the vast expanse of data. Through our meticulous analysis, we unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and a p-value less than 0.01, revealing a surprisingly robust relationship that underpins the nexus between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This unexpected unity of variables casts a light on the infinite web of interconnectedness that permeates the statistical fabric of our world, highlighting the inexorable pull of correlation even in the most unexpected corners of empirical inquiry.

In the pages that follow, we delve into the curious dance of data, where the footprints of biological technicians intermingle with the digital echoes of customer satisfaction, transcending the conventional boundaries of inquiry and inviting researchers to embrace the delightful uncertainties that lurk in the depths of empirical exploration. As we unveil the unsuspected harmony between these unlikely cohorts, we invite fellow scholars to join us in reveling in the joy of unraveling statistical conundrums, where the most unanticipated associations can yield great insight, much like a whimsical twist in a scientific fable that leaves the reader both amused and enlightened.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a couple popular internet memes that are related to one of the topics.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
When considering the multitude of factors that can influence customer satisfaction, the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint may initially appear to be as incongruous as a sponge in a particle accelerator. However, in the world of statistical analysis, the unlikeliest of bedfellows often reveal an unexpected harmony that leaves researchers scratching their heads in bemusement. This peculiar dance of statistical serendipity is what prompted our investigation into the relationship between these seemingly disparate variables.
In the annals of research, it is not uncommon for the pursuit of knowledge to lead us down winding and convoluted paths, not unlike a laboratory technician trying to navigate an unfamiliar maze of data. Nevertheless, armed with the potent elixir of statistical tools and methodological rigor, we endeavored to decode the intricate intertwining of biological technicians and Sprint's customer satisfaction, knowing full well that the pursuit of knowledge can be as unpredictable as a particle's trajectory in quantum mechanics.
The dichotomy between the painstaking precision of biological research and the fleeting nature of consumer sentiment may seem as incongruous as trying to fit a square peg into a round statistical model, yet it is precisely these unexpected juxtapositions that often yield the most intriguing insights. As the enigmatic puzzle of statistical relationships unfolded before our eyes, we found ourselves on the precipice of uncovering a curious connection that defied conventional wisdom, much like a scientist stumbling upon an unforeseen chemical reaction in the lab.
Our empirical journey, stretching from 2004 to 2020, propelled us into the annals of labor statistics and consumer perceptions, akin to a cosmic odyssey through the vast expanse of data. Through our meticulous analysis, we unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and a p-value less than 0.01, revealing a surprisingly robust relationship that underpins the nexus between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This unexpected unity of variables casts a light on the infinite web of interconnectedness that permeates the statistical fabric of our world, highlighting the inexorable pull of correlation even in the most unexpected corners of empirical inquiry.
In the pages that follow, we delve into the curious dance of data, where the footprints of biological technicians intermingle with the digital echoes of customer satisfaction, transcending the conventional boundaries of inquiry and inviting researchers to embrace the delightful uncertainties that lurk in the depths of empirical exploration. As we unveil the unsuspected harmony between these unlikely cohorts, we invite fellow scholars to join us in reveling in the joy of unraveling statistical conundrums, where the most unanticipated associations can yield great insight, much like a whimsical twist in a scientific fable that leaves the reader both amused and enlightened.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

As we begin our foray into the curious confluence of biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint, we are reminded of the words of Smith (2010), who eloquently posited, "The unexpected interplay of variables often reveals the delightful intricacies of statistical inquiry." Aptly capturing the essence of our investigation, Smith's insightful words set the stage for a journey through the labyrinthine landscape of empirical exploration.

Doe (2015) further delves into the intricate interconnectivity of seemingly unrelated variables, offering a compelling analysis of statistical serendipity in the realm of labor force dynamics and consumer behavior. These foundational works provide an intellectual compass for our own inquiry, guiding us through the uncharted territories of statistical relationships that may, at first glance, seem as incongruous as a banana in a Sudoku puzzle.

Turning our attention to more tangentially related literature, Jones (2018) offers a comprehensive examination of telecommunication trends and customer perceptions, providing a nuanced backdrop against which to situate our investigation. The parallels drawn between the evolution of telecommunication technologies and the ebb and flow of consumer sentiment serve as a thought-provoking backdrop for our own exploration of the linkages between Sprint's customer satisfaction and the presence of biological technicians in Maryland.

In a surprising twist, "The Biology of Customer Relationships" by Adams (2012) provides an insightful analysis of the parallels between ecological dynamics and customer engagement, serving as a whimsical yet thought-provoking departure point for our own examination of the statistical ecosystem in which biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint coexist.

On a slightly less serious note, "The Sprint Chronicles: Tales of Telecommunication Triumphs" by Wallace (2017) and "The Technician's Odyssey: Navigating the Biological Landscape" by Patel (2019) offer fictional narratives that, while not strictly empirical in nature, capture the imaginative essence of our investigation. These literary works beckon us to ponder the unexpected intersections of technicians and telecoms, much like a playful nod to the enigmatic dance of statistical relationships that await our empirical scrutiny.

In an amusing deviation from traditional scholarly citations, the viral internet meme "Distracted Boyfriend" humorously captures the attention-diverting allure of Sprint's customer satisfaction data, prompting a lighthearted recognition of the whimsical threads of connectivity that permeate our empirical inquiry.

As we immerse ourselves in this diverse array of literature, we are reminded of the exhilarating potential for intellectual discovery that awaits us in the statistical embrace of biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. With this eclectic blend of scholarly and whimsical works as our compass, we embark on a scholarly odyssey that promises to unravel the unexpected tapestry of statistical interplay, weaving together the unlikeliest of bedfellows in a dance of empirical revelation.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 2004 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
When considering the multitude of factors that can influence customer satisfaction, the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint may initially appear to be as incongruous as a sponge in a particle accelerator. However, in the world of statistical analysis, the unlikeliest of bedfellows often reveal an unexpected harmony that leaves researchers scratching their heads in bemusement. This peculiar dance of statistical serendipity is what prompted our investigation into the relationship between these seemingly disparate variables.
In the annals of research, it is not uncommon for the pursuit of knowledge to lead us down winding and convoluted paths, not unlike a laboratory technician trying to navigate an unfamiliar maze of data. Nevertheless, armed with the potent elixir of statistical tools and methodological rigor, we endeavored to decode the intricate intertwining of biological technicians and Sprint's customer satisfaction, knowing full well that the pursuit of knowledge can be as unpredictable as a particle's trajectory in quantum mechanics.
The dichotomy between the painstaking precision of biological research and the fleeting nature of consumer sentiment may seem as incongruous as trying to fit a square peg into a round statistical model, yet it is precisely these unexpected juxtapositions that often yield the most intriguing insights. As the enigmatic puzzle of statistical relationships unfolded before our eyes, we found ourselves on the precipice of uncovering a curious connection that defied conventional wisdom, much like a scientist stumbling upon an unforeseen chemical reaction in the lab.
Our empirical journey, stretching from 2004 to 2020, propelled us into the annals of labor statistics and consumer perceptions, akin to a cosmic odyssey through the vast expanse of data. Through our meticulous analysis, we unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and a p-value less than 0.01, revealing a surprisingly robust relationship that underpins the nexus between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This unexpected unity of variables casts a light on the infinite web of interconnectedness that permeates the statistical fabric of our world, highlighting the inexorable pull of correlation even in the most unexpected corners of empirical inquiry.
In the pages that follow, we delve into the curious dance of data, where the footprints of biological technicians intermingle with the digital echoes of customer satisfaction, transcending the conventional boundaries of inquiry and inviting researchers to embrace the delightful uncertainties that lurk in the depths of empirical exploration. As we unveil the unsuspected harmony between these unlikely cohorts, we invite fellow scholars to join us in reveling in the joy of unraveling statistical conundrums, where the most unanticipated associations can yield great insight, much like a whimsical twist in a scientific fable that leaves the reader both amused and enlightened.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

To unearth the mysterious connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint, our research team embarked on an empirical odyssey fueled by data spanning the years 2004 to 2020. Our methodological escapade commenced with a comprehensive reconnaissance of the electronic treasure troves offered by the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, akin to intrepid explorers navigating the digital expanses in search of statistical enlightenment.

The first step in our methodological dance involved acquiring the number of biological technicians gainfully employed in the charming state of Maryland. This was achieved by diligently scouring the depths of labor statistics websites, where the abundance of occupational data resembled a cornucopia of numerical delights waiting to be plucked. The excitement of excavating this data can be likened to an archeologist's thrill at unearthing long-lost artifacts, except in our case, the treasure trove was brimming with the curious legions of biological technicians engaging in their noble pursuit.

Simultaneously, we diligently extracted the customer satisfaction scores related to Sprint from the American Customer Satisfaction Index, akin to a skilled vintner carefully picking the juiciest grapes from the vineyard of consumer perception. The delicate dance of data extraction can be likened to the art of winemaking, where the choicest fruits are culled to yield the most delectable elixirs – in our case, the elixir of statistical revelation.

Having amassed these numerical gems, we embarked on a series of statistical rituals involving the incantations of correlation analysis and the invocation of p-values. Our trusty statistical software served as our wand, weaving the intricate incantations of Pearson's correlation coefficients and hypothesis testing, as we sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these seemingly incongruous variables.

In our statistical symphony, the robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 emerged as the crescendo of our analysis, delivering a resounding confirmation of the unexpected affinity between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This revelation, with a p-value less than 0.01, surpassed our wildest statistical imaginings and underscored the undeniable statistical harmony that exists between these disparate realms.

In the spirit of statistical inquiry, we acknowledge that our methodology, much like the unpredictable nature of empirical research, is infused with the whimsical uncertainties and delightful surprises that make the pursuit of knowledge both exhilarating and unpredictable. We invite fellow researchers to partake in the joyous revelry of statistical exploration, where the most unanticipated correlations can yield the most profound insights, akin to discovering a hidden gem in a statistical treasure hunt.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index .

For the time period 2004 to 2020, you found a correlation 0.9211588, r-squared of 0.8485336, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
When considering the multitude of factors that can influence customer satisfaction, the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint may initially appear to be as incongruous as a sponge in a particle accelerator. However, in the world of statistical analysis, the unlikeliest of bedfellows often reveal an unexpected harmony that leaves researchers scratching their heads in bemusement. This peculiar dance of statistical serendipity is what prompted our investigation into the relationship between these seemingly disparate variables.
In the annals of research, it is not uncommon for the pursuit of knowledge to lead us down winding and convoluted paths, not unlike a laboratory technician trying to navigate an unfamiliar maze of data. Nevertheless, armed with the potent elixir of statistical tools and methodological rigor, we endeavored to decode the intricate intertwining of biological technicians and Sprint's customer satisfaction, knowing full well that the pursuit of knowledge can be as unpredictable as a particle's trajectory in quantum mechanics.
The dichotomy between the painstaking precision of biological research and the fleeting nature of consumer sentiment may seem as incongruous as trying to fit a square peg into a round statistical model, yet it is precisely these unexpected juxtapositions that often yield the most intriguing insights. As the enigmatic puzzle of statistical relationships unfolded before our eyes, we found ourselves on the precipice of uncovering a curious connection that defied conventional wisdom, much like a scientist stumbling upon an unforeseen chemical reaction in the lab.
Our empirical journey, stretching from 2004 to 2020, propelled us into the annals of labor statistics and consumer perceptions, akin to a cosmic odyssey through the vast expanse of data. Through our meticulous analysis, we unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and a p-value less than 0.01, revealing a surprisingly robust relationship that underpins the nexus between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This unexpected unity of variables casts a light on the infinite web of interconnectedness that permeates the statistical fabric of our world, highlighting the inexorable pull of correlation even in the most unexpected corners of empirical inquiry.
In the pages that follow, we delve into the curious dance of data, where the footprints of biological technicians intermingle with the digital echoes of customer satisfaction, transcending the conventional boundaries of inquiry and inviting researchers to embrace the delightful uncertainties that lurk in the depths of empirical exploration. As we unveil the unsuspected harmony between these unlikely cohorts, we invite fellow scholars to join us in reveling in the joy of unraveling statistical conundrums, where the most unanticipated associations can yield great insight, much like a whimsical twist in a scientific fable that leaves the reader both amused and enlightened.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The statistical analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint, much like discovering a well-hidden easter egg in a statistical video game. The correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 suggests a nearly perfect positive relationship, akin to finding the missing puzzle piece that completes the jigsaw of statistical associations. Additionally, the substantial r-squared value of 0.8485336 indicates that a substantial 84.85% of the variability in customer satisfaction with Sprint can be explained by the number of biological technicians in Maryland, as if revealing the wizard behind the statistical curtain.

Moreover, with a p-value less than 0.01, the correlation was found to be statistically significant, validating the robustness of this unanticipated relationship. This suggests that the likelihood of observing such a strong connection by mere chance is about as low as finding a four-leaf clover in a petri dish - a rare occurrence indeed.

Figure 1 exhibits a scatterplot visually encapsulating this potent association, much like a captivating piece of abstract art that we stumbled across in our statistical exploration. The visualization magnificently portrays the pronounced trend of increasing customer satisfaction with Sprint as the number of biological technicians in Maryland rises, resembling the unfolding of an unexpected love story in the realm of statistical data.

The success of this endeavor not only highlights the idiosyncrasies of statistical relationships but also beckons to fellow researchers to embrace the serendipitous allure of empirical inquiry, where the crisscrossing paths of variables can lead to the unearthing of intriguing insights, much like a treasure hunt with unexpected twists and turns.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
As we begin our foray into the curious confluence of biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint, we are reminded of the words of Smith (2010), who eloquently posited, "The unexpected interplay of variables often reveals the delightful intricacies of statistical inquiry." Aptly capturing the essence of our investigation, Smith's insightful words set the stage for a journey through the labyrinthine landscape of empirical exploration.
Doe (2015) further delves into the intricate interconnectivity of seemingly unrelated variables, offering a compelling analysis of statistical serendipity in the realm of labor force dynamics and consumer behavior. These foundational works provide an intellectual compass for our own inquiry, guiding us through the uncharted territories of statistical relationships that may, at first glance, seem as incongruous as a banana in a Sudoku puzzle.
Turning our attention to more tangentially related literature, Jones (2018) offers a comprehensive examination of telecommunication trends and customer perceptions, providing a nuanced backdrop against which to situate our investigation. The parallels drawn between the evolution of telecommunication technologies and the ebb and flow of consumer sentiment serve as a thought-provoking backdrop for our own exploration of the linkages between Sprint's customer satisfaction and the presence of biological technicians in Maryland.
In a surprising twist, "The Biology of Customer Relationships" by Adams (2012) provides an insightful analysis of the parallels between ecological dynamics and customer engagement, serving as a whimsical yet thought-provoking departure point for our own examination of the statistical ecosystem in which biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint coexist.
On a slightly less serious note, "The Sprint Chronicles: Tales of Telecommunication Triumphs" by Wallace (2017) and "The Technician's Odyssey: Navigating the Biological Landscape" by Patel (2019) offer fictional narratives that, while not strictly empirical in nature, capture the imaginative essence of our investigation. These literary works beckon us to ponder the unexpected intersections of technicians and telecoms, much like a playful nod to the enigmatic dance of statistical relationships that await our empirical scrutiny.
In an amusing deviation from traditional scholarly citations, the viral internet meme "Distracted Boyfriend" humorously captures the attention-diverting allure of Sprint's customer satisfaction data, prompting a lighthearted recognition of the whimsical threads of connectivity that permeate our empirical inquiry.
As we immerse ourselves in this diverse array of literature, we are reminded of the exhilarating potential for intellectual discovery that awaits us in the statistical embrace of biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. With this eclectic blend of scholarly and whimsical works as our compass, we embark on a scholarly odyssey that promises to unravel the unexpected tapestry of statistical interplay, weaving together the unlikeliest of bedfellows in a dance of empirical revelation.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint, much like discovering a well-hidden easter egg in a statistical video game. The correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 suggests a nearly perfect positive relationship, akin to finding the missing puzzle piece that completes the jigsaw of statistical associations. Additionally, the substantial r-squared value of 0.8485336 indicates that a substantial 84.85% of the variability in customer satisfaction with Sprint can be explained by the number of biological technicians in Maryland, as if revealing the wizard behind the statistical curtain.
Moreover, with a p-value less than 0.01, the correlation was found to be statistically significant, validating the robustness of this unanticipated relationship. This suggests that the likelihood of observing such a strong connection by mere chance is about as low as finding a four-leaf clover in a petri dish - a rare occurrence indeed.
Figure 1 exhibits a scatterplot visually encapsulating this potent association, much like a captivating piece of abstract art that we stumbled across in our statistical exploration. The visualization magnificently portrays the pronounced trend of increasing customer satisfaction with Sprint as the number of biological technicians in Maryland rises, resembling the unfolding of an unexpected love story in the realm of statistical data.
The success of this endeavor not only highlights the idiosyncrasies of statistical relationships but also beckons to fellow researchers to embrace the serendipitous allure of empirical inquiry, where the crisscrossing paths of variables can lead to the unearthing of intriguing insights, much like a treasure hunt with unexpected twists and turns.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our results not only affirm the validity of the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint but also shed light on the profound yet often overlooked relationships that underpin the tapestry of modern statistical inquiry. Leveraging the insights from our literature review, which were as diverse and unexpected as finding a truffle in a laboratory petri dish, we embarked on a journey through the statistical jungle, navigating the uncharted territories of empirical exploration to ultimately stumble upon the delightful discovery of a robust association, akin to finding a diamond in a coal mine.

The compelling correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 elucidates a near-perfect positive relationship between the aforementioned variables, resembling the unearthing of a rare gem amidst the relentless stream of data. This finding not only attests to the intertwining fates of technicians and telecoms but also highlights the unexpected symphony of statistical serendipity that pervades our empirical landscape, much like stumbling upon a well-preserved fossil in a biological excavation.

By affirming the significance of this statistical connection, our study invites fellow researchers to embrace the whimsical intricacies of data exploration, where the unlikeliest of bedfellows converge in an empirical waltz that thrills, surprises, and enlightens. Beyond the mere elucidation of a robust correlation, our research underscores the refreshing vitality of statistical inquiry, where the unexpected threads of connectivity beckon the intrepid explorer to venture forth in pursuit of statistical revelations, much like a daring leap into the scientific unknown.

In sum, our findings not only substantiate the enigmatic relationship between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint but also provoke a lighthearted recognition of the quirky, delightful dance of statistical relationships that infuse our empirical journey. We leave our fellow researchers with an allegorical wink and a nod to the playful, unpredictable nature of statistical exploration, where the seemingly incongruous variables intertwine in a dance of data-driven delight, capturing the whimsical essence of our scientific pursuit.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a witty academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a statistics journal.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of biological technicians in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with Sprint. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Sneak in some jokes and clever puns about science, research, statistics, and the variables.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint"

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
When considering the multitude of factors that can influence customer satisfaction, the connection between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint may initially appear to be as incongruous as a sponge in a particle accelerator. However, in the world of statistical analysis, the unlikeliest of bedfellows often reveal an unexpected harmony that leaves researchers scratching their heads in bemusement. This peculiar dance of statistical serendipity is what prompted our investigation into the relationship between these seemingly disparate variables.
In the annals of research, it is not uncommon for the pursuit of knowledge to lead us down winding and convoluted paths, not unlike a laboratory technician trying to navigate an unfamiliar maze of data. Nevertheless, armed with the potent elixir of statistical tools and methodological rigor, we endeavored to decode the intricate intertwining of biological technicians and Sprint's customer satisfaction, knowing full well that the pursuit of knowledge can be as unpredictable as a particle's trajectory in quantum mechanics.
The dichotomy between the painstaking precision of biological research and the fleeting nature of consumer sentiment may seem as incongruous as trying to fit a square peg into a round statistical model, yet it is precisely these unexpected juxtapositions that often yield the most intriguing insights. As the enigmatic puzzle of statistical relationships unfolded before our eyes, we found ourselves on the precipice of uncovering a curious connection that defied conventional wisdom, much like a scientist stumbling upon an unforeseen chemical reaction in the lab.
Our empirical journey, stretching from 2004 to 2020, propelled us into the annals of labor statistics and consumer perceptions, akin to a cosmic odyssey through the vast expanse of data. Through our meticulous analysis, we unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and a p-value less than 0.01, revealing a surprisingly robust relationship that underpins the nexus between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint. This unexpected unity of variables casts a light on the infinite web of interconnectedness that permeates the statistical fabric of our world, highlighting the inexorable pull of correlation even in the most unexpected corners of empirical inquiry.
In the pages that follow, we delve into the curious dance of data, where the footprints of biological technicians intermingle with the digital echoes of customer satisfaction, transcending the conventional boundaries of inquiry and inviting researchers to embrace the delightful uncertainties that lurk in the depths of empirical exploration. As we unveil the unsuspected harmony between these unlikely cohorts, we invite fellow scholars to join us in reveling in the joy of unraveling statistical conundrums, where the most unanticipated associations can yield great insight, much like a whimsical twist in a scientific fable that leaves the reader both amused and enlightened.

[[RESULTS]]
The statistical analysis revealed a remarkably strong correlation between the number of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint, much like discovering a well-hidden easter egg in a statistical video game. The correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 suggests a nearly perfect positive relationship, akin to finding the missing puzzle piece that completes the jigsaw of statistical associations. Additionally, the substantial r-squared value of 0.8485336 indicates that a substantial 84.85% of the variability in customer satisfaction with Sprint can be explained by the number of biological technicians in Maryland, as if revealing the wizard behind the statistical curtain.
Moreover, with a p-value less than 0.01, the correlation was found to be statistically significant, validating the robustness of this unanticipated relationship. This suggests that the likelihood of observing such a strong connection by mere chance is about as low as finding a four-leaf clover in a petri dish - a rare occurrence indeed.
Figure 1 exhibits a scatterplot visually encapsulating this potent association, much like a captivating piece of abstract art that we stumbled across in our statistical exploration. The visualization magnificently portrays the pronounced trend of increasing customer satisfaction with Sprint as the number of biological technicians in Maryland rises, resembling the unfolding of an unexpected love story in the realm of statistical data.
The success of this endeavor not only highlights the idiosyncrasies of statistical relationships but also beckons to fellow researchers to embrace the serendipitous allure of empirical inquiry, where the crisscrossing paths of variables can lead to the unearthing of intriguing insights, much like a treasure hunt with unexpected twists and turns.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our foray into the curious nexus of biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint has yielded fruitful insights that sparkle like a well-crafted pun at a scientific convention. The robust correlation coefficient and statistical significance of our findings point to a compelling relationship that dances across the empirical stage with the grace of a statistical ballet. This unexpected union of variables not only serves as a testament to the delightful capriciousness of statistical landscapes but also encourages researchers to embrace the whimsical nuances of data-driven exploration, much like embarking on a scavenger hunt through the labyrinthine corridors of statistical inquiry.

The pronounced link between these seemingly disparate domains is akin to discovering a secret passage in the labyrinth of empirical investigations, inviting us to revel in the surprising connections that permeate the statistical tapestry. As we ponder the fascinating interplay between biological technicians and customer satisfaction with Sprint, it becomes evident that the statistical universe is rife with playful twists and turns, much like a rollercoaster ride through the landscaped gardens of empirical discovery.

In light of these compelling findings, we advocate for a shift in paradigm that celebrates the unpredictability of statistical relationships, for it is within the unlikeliest of intersections that the most intriguing revelations lie, much like stumbling upon a eureka moment in a statistical treasure hunt. However, in the spirit of tempered optimism and a firm grasp of statistical significance, we assert that the association between these variables has been aptly unearthed, leaving little room for further empirical excavations in this domain.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Bio-Tech Consumer Insights


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Biotechnical Advancement and Analytical Research (SBAAR)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled The Technician Tonic: A Statistical Analysis of the Relationship Between Biological Technicians in Maryland and Customer Satisfaction with Sprint with an abstract of This paper presents a systematic examination of the seemingly disparate realms of biological technicians in Maryland and customer satisfaction with Sprint. Leveraging data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, our research team sought to unravel the enigmatic connection between these two domains. Through rigorous statistical analysis, we discovered a strikingly robust correlation coefficient of 0.9211588 and p < 0.01 for the period spanning 2004 to 2020. Our findings shed light on the intricate interplay between the labor force in the biological sciences and the telecommunication landscape, ultimately challenging conventional wisdom and teasing out the unexpected threads of connectivity between these seemingly unrelated factors. This study not only underscores the nuanced correlations that exist in the modern world but also invites further investigation into the delights of statistical serendipity, where the unlikely bedfellows of technicians and telecoms converge in a symphony of data-driven revelation.

ChatGPT:

biological technicians Maryland, customer satisfaction Sprint, statistical analysis correlation, labor force biological sciences, telecommunication landscape, Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Customer Satisfaction Index, correlation coefficient, statistical serendipity

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of biological technicians in Maryland
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of biological technicians in Maryland
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of biological technicians in Maryland

Customer satisfaction with Sprint
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with Sprint

Correlation r = 0.9211588 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8485336 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.9% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with Sprint) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of biological technicians in Maryland) over the 17 years from 2004 through 2020.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 1.5E-7. 0.0000001549672504578927200000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 1.5E-5% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 6,452,976 random variables You don't actually need 6 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 16 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 16 because we have two variables measured over a period of 17 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.79, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20042005200620072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020
The number of biological technicians in Maryland (Biological Technicians)24502990289027402420282029603820381035803470337035203800352033803670
Customer satisfaction with Sprint (Consumer Satisfaction)5963636156637072717168657073706970




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([2450,2990,2890,2740,2420,2820,2960,3820,3810,3580,3470,3370,3520,3800,3520,3380,3670,])
array_2 = np.array([59,63,63,61,56,63,70,72,71,71,68,65,70,73,70,69,70,])
array_1_name = "The number of biological technicians in Maryland"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with Sprint"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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Correlation ID: 1049 · Black Variable ID: 9107 · Red Variable ID: 19884
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