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Spurious correlation #5,937 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and the second variable is Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com.  The chart goes from 2010 to 2021, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image

AI explanation

As the number of statistical assistants in Maryland decreased, there were fewer people available to interpret the constant stream of data from FOXNews.com. This led to widespread confusion and frustration among the customers, ultimately decreasing their satisfaction with the website.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image inspired by a Discovery magazine cover, illustrating a bustling office in Maryland where statistical assistants are leaving their desks. The office is filled with tension as the FOXNews.com homepage is displayed on multiple computer screens, overwhelming customers with data and causing frustration. The scene should capture the palpable sense of bewilderment and strain in the office without including any written text or speech bubbles. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Futuristic Magic realism Cyberpunk Sci-fi fantacy A Discovery magazine cover image
ChatGPT: A Discovery magazine cover image

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com, in the following situation: As the number of statistical assistants in Maryland decreased, there were fewer people available to interpret the constant stream of data from FOXNews.com. This led to widespread confusion and frustration among the customers, ultimately decreasing their satisfaction with the website.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In a bustling office in Maryland, the number of statistical assistants dwindled as some left their desks. Meanwhile, on computer screens throughout the office, the FOXNews.com homepage filled with data. Customers, with furrowed brows, struggled to make sense of the overwhelming amount of information, leading to a palpable sense of frustration in the room.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A Discovery magazine cover image ] and depicting this scene: In a bustling office in Maryland, the number of statistical assistants dwindled as some left their desks. Meanwhile, on computer screens throughout the office, the FOXNews.com homepage filled with data. Customers, with furrowed brows, struggled to make sense of the overwhelming amount of information, leading to a palpable sense of frustration in the room. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image inspired by a Discovery magazine cover, illustrating a bustling office in Maryland where statistical assistants are leaving their desks. The office is filled with tension as the FOXNews.com homepage is displayed on multiple computer screens, overwhelming customers with data and causing frustration. The scene should capture the palpable sense of bewilderment and strain in the office without including any written text or speech bubbles.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how a decrease in The number of statistical assistants in Maryland caused Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com to decrease.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

The Journal of Statistical Satire

Jan 2024
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and p < 0.01 for 2010 to 2021.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The world of statistical analysis is often characterized by its seriousness and solemnity. However, as esteemed researchers, it is imperative that we not only uncover empirical truths but also endeavor to illuminate the often overlooked humorous side of our endeavors. Our investigation into the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com embodies this aspiration. In this paper, we embark on a journey that transcends the mundane metrics and embarks on a whimsical romp through the world of data.

The pairing of statistical assistants with a conservative news outlet may initially seem as incongruous as placing a clown in a boardroom meeting – a delightful oddity, to say the least. Still, statistical analysis relentlessly beckons us to consider the possible connections, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. As such, we gird ourselves with data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, eager to uncover the secrets that lie hidden within these numerical enigmas.

Our exploration is not merely an exercise in statistical analysis; it is an adventure in merriment and amusement. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and the p-value of less than 0.01 may as well be the punchline of a statistical joke, but their implications are far from comical. Join us as we delve into the unexpected harmony between the number-crunching prowess of statistical assistants and the contentment of FOXNews.com visitors. Our findings promise not only to enliven the scholarly discourse but also to remind us of the whimsical fascination that underlies the empirical world.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The world of statistical analysis is often characterized by its seriousness and solemnity. However, as esteemed researchers, it is imperative that we not only uncover empirical truths but also endeavor to illuminate the often overlooked humorous side of our endeavors. Our investigation into the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com embodies this aspiration. In this paper, we embark on a journey that transcends the mundane metrics and embarks on a whimsical romp through the world of data.
The pairing of statistical assistants with a conservative news outlet may initially seem as incongruous as placing a clown in a boardroom meeting – a delightful oddity, to say the least. Still, statistical analysis relentlessly beckons us to consider the possible connections, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. As such, we gird ourselves with data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, eager to uncover the secrets that lie hidden within these numerical enigmas.
Our exploration is not merely an exercise in statistical analysis; it is an adventure in merriment and amusement. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and the p-value of less than 0.01 may as well be the punchline of a statistical joke, but their implications are far from comical. Join us as we delve into the unexpected harmony between the number-crunching prowess of statistical assistants and the contentment of FOXNews.com visitors. Our findings promise not only to enliven the scholarly discourse but also to remind us of the whimsical fascination that underlies the empirical world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

In their seminal work, Smith and Doe (2015) elucidate the correlation between workforce demographics and customer satisfaction, laying the groundwork for our peculiar investigation. The authors find a significant relationship between the number of employees in a particular sector and customer sentiments toward a product or service, thereby opening the door to the exploration of the connection between statistical assistants in Maryland and FOXNews.com users.

Similarly, Jones (2018) delves into the world of online media consumption and its impact on audience perception. By analyzing user feedback and engagement metrics, the author uncovers the intricate interplay between content delivery and consumer satisfaction. This study provides a framework for understanding the potential influence of statistical assistants on customer sentiment, albeit in an unanticipated context.

Venturing beyond the traditional confines of empirical research, our exploratory endeavor draws inspiration from a collection of literature that extends beyond the realm of rigorous quantitative analysis. "Data and Doughnuts: A Comprehensive Guide to Statistical Snacking" by Lorem and Ipsum (2017) piqued our interest with its unconventional take on statistical analysis, infusing humor into the often austere world of number-crunching. While it may seem unrelated to our investigation, the lighthearted perspective presented in this book serves as a reminder of the joy that can be found amidst data-driven inquiries.

Furthermore, fictional works such as "The Statistical Sleuth's Secrets" by Sherlock Data (2016) and "Data, Lies, and Alibis" by Agatha Analytics (2014) offer whimsical interpretations of statistical mysteries, inspiring our team to approach our research with a blend of curiosity and amusement. Though these literary creations may not directly address our specific inquiry, their imaginative narratives provoke contemplation of the unexpected connections that statistical analysis can unveil, much like the unlikely correlation we aim to explore.

In addition to academic discourse and literary inspiration, our research has been informed by a thorough examination of popular culture, including relevant television programs such as "The Newsroom" and "The Big Bang Theory." These shows, while not scholarly in nature, provide intriguing insights into the portrayal of news media and the depiction of scientific pursuits, complementing our multidimensional approach to understanding the unusual relationship between statistical assistants and FOXNews.com customer satisfaction.

As we immerse ourselves in this diverse array of sources, we recognize the importance of balancing scholarly rigor with an appreciation for the unexpected and the whimsical. The literature review not only serves to situate our investigation within the broader academic landscape but also reminds us to embrace the delightful unpredictability that awaits as we unravel the enigmatic alliance between Maryland's statistical assistants and the patrons of FOXNews.com.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index . You used data from 2010 to 2021

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The world of statistical analysis is often characterized by its seriousness and solemnity. However, as esteemed researchers, it is imperative that we not only uncover empirical truths but also endeavor to illuminate the often overlooked humorous side of our endeavors. Our investigation into the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com embodies this aspiration. In this paper, we embark on a journey that transcends the mundane metrics and embarks on a whimsical romp through the world of data.
The pairing of statistical assistants with a conservative news outlet may initially seem as incongruous as placing a clown in a boardroom meeting – a delightful oddity, to say the least. Still, statistical analysis relentlessly beckons us to consider the possible connections, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. As such, we gird ourselves with data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, eager to uncover the secrets that lie hidden within these numerical enigmas.
Our exploration is not merely an exercise in statistical analysis; it is an adventure in merriment and amusement. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and the p-value of less than 0.01 may as well be the punchline of a statistical joke, but their implications are far from comical. Join us as we delve into the unexpected harmony between the number-crunching prowess of statistical assistants and the contentment of FOXNews.com visitors. Our findings promise not only to enliven the scholarly discourse but also to remind us of the whimsical fascination that underlies the empirical world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Data Collection:
Our research team embarked on a virtual odyssey, scouring the depths of the internet like intrepid adventurers in search of golden statistical nuggets. We meticulously gathered data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics, navigating through the labyrinthine corridors of labor market information with the dexterity of seasoned spelunkers. Additionally, we harnessed the power of the American Customer Satisfaction Index, which serendipitously provided us with customer satisfaction ratings for FOXNews.com, a bastion of conservative journalism in the digital realm. The data covered the years 2010 to 2021, a span of time in which the digital landscape underwent more changes than a chameleon at a rainbow convention.

Variable Selection:
Like alchemists seeking the perfect formula, we identified the number of statistical assistants in Maryland as our independent variable and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com as our dependent variable. The connection between these variables may seem as unlikely as a penguin strutting through the desert, but our research endeavor forged ahead, undeterred by the whimsical nature of our inquiry.

Statistical Analysis:
With our data in hand, we summoned the arcane powers of statistical analysis to unravel the mystifying relationship between our chosen variables. Employing correlation analysis, we calculated the correlation coefficient and its associated p-value with the precision of a watchmaker assembling a timepiece. Our trusty statistical assistants - both numerical and human - meticulously crunched the numbers, illuminating patterns that danced across the data like capricious fireflies in the twilight.

Ethical Considerations:
In our pursuit of empirical insights, we adhered to the ethical principles that guide scholarly inquiry. As devotees of intellectual integrity, we handled the data with the reverence of museum curators preserving historical artifacts. Our methodologies adhered to the highest standards of academic rigor, lending an air of scholarly sanctity to our whimsical quest.

Limitations:
No endeavor is without its limitations, and ours is no exception. The constraints of time and resources compelled us to traverse a narrow path through the boundless territory of empirical inquiry. In addition, the unique nature of our inquiry necessitated a judicious treatment of our findings, mindful of the interpretive nuances that permeate statistical analysis like a fine mist enveloping a moonlit meadow.

In conclusion, our methodology sought not only to unravel the empirical mystery that lay before us but also to infuse our scholarly endeavor with a touch of levity and wonder. Just as a mathematician finds beauty in the patterns of prime numbers, we sought to uncover the unexpected harmony between statistical assistants in Maryland and FOXNews.com customer satisfaction, injecting a bit of mirth into the sober halls of academic research.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and American Customer Satisfaction Index .

For the time period 2010 to 2021, you found a correlation 0.9418595, r-squared of 0.8870994, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The world of statistical analysis is often characterized by its seriousness and solemnity. However, as esteemed researchers, it is imperative that we not only uncover empirical truths but also endeavor to illuminate the often overlooked humorous side of our endeavors. Our investigation into the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com embodies this aspiration. In this paper, we embark on a journey that transcends the mundane metrics and embarks on a whimsical romp through the world of data.
The pairing of statistical assistants with a conservative news outlet may initially seem as incongruous as placing a clown in a boardroom meeting – a delightful oddity, to say the least. Still, statistical analysis relentlessly beckons us to consider the possible connections, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. As such, we gird ourselves with data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, eager to uncover the secrets that lie hidden within these numerical enigmas.
Our exploration is not merely an exercise in statistical analysis; it is an adventure in merriment and amusement. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and the p-value of less than 0.01 may as well be the punchline of a statistical joke, but their implications are far from comical. Join us as we delve into the unexpected harmony between the number-crunching prowess of statistical assistants and the contentment of FOXNews.com visitors. Our findings promise not only to enliven the scholarly discourse but also to remind us of the whimsical fascination that underlies the empirical world.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The data analysis revealed a remarkable positive correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com over the period of 2010 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 indicates a strong linear relationship, as evidenced by the scatterplot in Fig. 1, so brace yourselves for the statistical roller coaster. The r-squared value of 0.8870994 suggests that a substantial 88.71% of the variation in customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com can be attributed to the number of statistical assistants in Maryland, which is quite a hefty proportion.

The p-value of less than 0.01 not only meets but dramatically exceeds the conventional threshold for statistical significance, signaling that the observed relationship between these two variables is about as likely as finding a polar bear in the Sahara – highly improbable! This result truly stands out like a bright, flashing neon sign against a dark statistical background.

So, what does all of this mean in plain English, you ask? Well, it appears that, contrary to popular belief, the presence of statistical assistants in Maryland seems to be closely tied to the level of customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Perhaps these statistical wizards are weaving some spellbinding content analysis magic behind the scenes, shaping the news experience of FOXNews.com visitors in ways we never thought possible. Or maybe these statistical assistants are simply spreading unparalleled joy and comfort through their data-driven expertise, charming FOXNews.com visitors into a state of undeniable satisfaction.

In any case, the statistical results are nothing short of captivating, and the correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com is a testament to the magical, mysterious nature of statistical analysis. It seems that even in the stodgy world of statistics, there's always room for a little bit of merriment and amusement.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
In their seminal work, Smith and Doe (2015) elucidate the correlation between workforce demographics and customer satisfaction, laying the groundwork for our peculiar investigation. The authors find a significant relationship between the number of employees in a particular sector and customer sentiments toward a product or service, thereby opening the door to the exploration of the connection between statistical assistants in Maryland and FOXNews.com users.
Similarly, Jones (2018) delves into the world of online media consumption and its impact on audience perception. By analyzing user feedback and engagement metrics, the author uncovers the intricate interplay between content delivery and consumer satisfaction. This study provides a framework for understanding the potential influence of statistical assistants on customer sentiment, albeit in an unanticipated context.
Venturing beyond the traditional confines of empirical research, our exploratory endeavor draws inspiration from a collection of literature that extends beyond the realm of rigorous quantitative analysis. "Data and Doughnuts: A Comprehensive Guide to Statistical Snacking" by Lorem and Ipsum (2017) piqued our interest with its unconventional take on statistical analysis, infusing humor into the often austere world of number-crunching. While it may seem unrelated to our investigation, the lighthearted perspective presented in this book serves as a reminder of the joy that can be found amidst data-driven inquiries.
Furthermore, fictional works such as "The Statistical Sleuth's Secrets" by Sherlock Data (2016) and "Data, Lies, and Alibis" by Agatha Analytics (2014) offer whimsical interpretations of statistical mysteries, inspiring our team to approach our research with a blend of curiosity and amusement. Though these literary creations may not directly address our specific inquiry, their imaginative narratives provoke contemplation of the unexpected connections that statistical analysis can unveil, much like the unlikely correlation we aim to explore.
In addition to academic discourse and literary inspiration, our research has been informed by a thorough examination of popular culture, including relevant television programs such as "The Newsroom" and "The Big Bang Theory." These shows, while not scholarly in nature, provide intriguing insights into the portrayal of news media and the depiction of scientific pursuits, complementing our multidimensional approach to understanding the unusual relationship between statistical assistants and FOXNews.com customer satisfaction.
As we immerse ourselves in this diverse array of sources, we recognize the importance of balancing scholarly rigor with an appreciation for the unexpected and the whimsical. The literature review not only serves to situate our investigation within the broader academic landscape but also reminds us to embrace the delightful unpredictability that awaits as we unravel the enigmatic alliance between Maryland's statistical assistants and the patrons of FOXNews.com.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis revealed a remarkable positive correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com over the period of 2010 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 indicates a strong linear relationship, as evidenced by the scatterplot in Fig. 1, so brace yourselves for the statistical roller coaster. The r-squared value of 0.8870994 suggests that a substantial 88.71% of the variation in customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com can be attributed to the number of statistical assistants in Maryland, which is quite a hefty proportion.
The p-value of less than 0.01 not only meets but dramatically exceeds the conventional threshold for statistical significance, signaling that the observed relationship between these two variables is about as likely as finding a polar bear in the Sahara – highly improbable! This result truly stands out like a bright, flashing neon sign against a dark statistical background.
So, what does all of this mean in plain English, you ask? Well, it appears that, contrary to popular belief, the presence of statistical assistants in Maryland seems to be closely tied to the level of customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Perhaps these statistical wizards are weaving some spellbinding content analysis magic behind the scenes, shaping the news experience of FOXNews.com visitors in ways we never thought possible. Or maybe these statistical assistants are simply spreading unparalleled joy and comfort through their data-driven expertise, charming FOXNews.com visitors into a state of undeniable satisfaction.
In any case, the statistical results are nothing short of captivating, and the correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com is a testament to the magical, mysterious nature of statistical analysis. It seems that even in the stodgy world of statistics, there's always room for a little bit of merriment and amusement.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

The findings of our study have brought to light a delightful conundrum: the undeniable correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. As our results whimsically align with the prior research, it seems that statistical wizards and FOXNews.com visitors have been engaging in a merry tango of statistical significance and satisfaction, unbeknownst to the rest of the world.

Our investigation was inspired by the unorthodox and irreverent takes on statistics found in Lorem and Ipsum's "Data and Doughnuts." Little did we know that this seemingly light-hearted jaunt through statistical snacking would lead us to the unexpected land of FOXNews.com customer satisfaction. Likewise, the fictional works of Sherlock Data and Agatha Analytics may have seemed like mere literary flights of fancy, but in truth, they offered us a glimpse into the unpredictable mysteries that statistical analysis can unravel. Who would have thought that the statistical sleuthing skills extolled in those novels would bear fruit in the form of a strong correlation between the number of statistical assistants and user satisfaction with an online news platform?

The positive correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 that emerged from our analysis joyously echoes the findings of Smith and Doe, underscoring the unspoken connection between workforce demographics and customer sentiments. It appears that statistical assistants, like industrious elves working behind the scenes, are weaving a tale of statistical charm and enchantment that translates into tangible customer satisfaction. Just as Jones ventured into the realm of online media consumption and its impact on audience perception, we too have ventured down an unexpected path, uncovering the peculiar influence statistical assistants hold over the hearts and minds of FOXNews.com visitors.

The p-value of less than 0.01, much like a rare treasure buried beneath layers of statistical sediment, further cements the statistical spell cast by these assistants. This outcome underscores the significance of the correlation, as if to say, "A-ha! Statistical assistants are not mere statistical anomalies. They are the true custodians of customer satisfaction with online news content."

In this statistical symphony, our research has unveiled the whimsical and enchanting alliance between Maryland's statistical assistants and FOXNews.com customer satisfaction. It appears that even in the realm of serious empirical inquiry, there is always room for a bit of statistical merriment and amusement. As we revel in the statistical sorcery at play, it becomes abundantly clear that the chimerical world of statistics has a whimsical, charming side that is just waiting to be discovered.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of statistical assistants in Maryland and Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Make it seem dry like academic research paper, but with lots of subtle hidden offhand remarks, jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The world of statistical analysis is often characterized by its seriousness and solemnity. However, as esteemed researchers, it is imperative that we not only uncover empirical truths but also endeavor to illuminate the often overlooked humorous side of our endeavors. Our investigation into the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com embodies this aspiration. In this paper, we embark on a journey that transcends the mundane metrics and embarks on a whimsical romp through the world of data.
The pairing of statistical assistants with a conservative news outlet may initially seem as incongruous as placing a clown in a boardroom meeting – a delightful oddity, to say the least. Still, statistical analysis relentlessly beckons us to consider the possible connections, even in the most unlikely of circumstances. As such, we gird ourselves with data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index, eager to uncover the secrets that lie hidden within these numerical enigmas.
Our exploration is not merely an exercise in statistical analysis; it is an adventure in merriment and amusement. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and the p-value of less than 0.01 may as well be the punchline of a statistical joke, but their implications are far from comical. Join us as we delve into the unexpected harmony between the number-crunching prowess of statistical assistants and the contentment of FOXNews.com visitors. Our findings promise not only to enliven the scholarly discourse but also to remind us of the whimsical fascination that underlies the empirical world.

[[RESULTS]]
The data analysis revealed a remarkable positive correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com over the period of 2010 to 2021. The correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 indicates a strong linear relationship, as evidenced by the scatterplot in Fig. 1, so brace yourselves for the statistical roller coaster. The r-squared value of 0.8870994 suggests that a substantial 88.71% of the variation in customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com can be attributed to the number of statistical assistants in Maryland, which is quite a hefty proportion.
The p-value of less than 0.01 not only meets but dramatically exceeds the conventional threshold for statistical significance, signaling that the observed relationship between these two variables is about as likely as finding a polar bear in the Sahara – highly improbable! This result truly stands out like a bright, flashing neon sign against a dark statistical background.
So, what does all of this mean in plain English, you ask? Well, it appears that, contrary to popular belief, the presence of statistical assistants in Maryland seems to be closely tied to the level of customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Perhaps these statistical wizards are weaving some spellbinding content analysis magic behind the scenes, shaping the news experience of FOXNews.com visitors in ways we never thought possible. Or maybe these statistical assistants are simply spreading unparalleled joy and comfort through their data-driven expertise, charming FOXNews.com visitors into a state of undeniable satisfaction.
In any case, the statistical results are nothing short of captivating, and the correlation between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com is a testament to the magical, mysterious nature of statistical analysis. It seems that even in the stodgy world of statistics, there's always room for a little bit of merriment and amusement.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, the findings of this study shed light on the rather unexpected dance between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. While it may seem as peculiar as seeing a clown at a business conference, the correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a p-value of less than 0.01 insist that there's more to this relationship than meets the eye. It appears that statistical assistants may not just be number-crunching virtuosos but also wielders of contentment and joy for FOXNews.com visitors, much like sorcerers of statistical satisfaction.

This quirky correlation, while delightfully amusing, hints at a fascinating interplay between quantitative analysis and the human experience, unveiling a world where data and delight converge in unexpected harmony. The implications of these findings are as astounding as finding a treasure chest at the end of a statistical rainbow, and they invite us to reconsider the playful possibilities that underlie the most rigorous statistical investigations.

As we wrap up this whimsical journey, we must acknowledge that sometimes statistical analysis has a goofy side, and that's no statistical error. However, despite the temptation to continue this merry exploration, it seems that we have unraveled the most enchanting secrets of this statistical enigma. As such, it is safe to assert that no further research is needed in this particular area, for we leave no stone unturned in our pursuit of statistical splendor and satisfaction.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Statistical Satire


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Society for Quirky Quantitative Analysis (SQQAA)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Merriment and Metrics: Maryland's Statistical Assistants and FOXNews.com Customer Satisfaction with an abstract of In this empirical study, we uncover the curious relationship between the number of statistical assistants in Maryland and customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com. Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and the American Customer Satisfaction Index spanning the years 2010 to 2021, our research team diligently calculated a correlation coefficient of 0.9418595 and a significant p-value of less than 0.01. While these rigorous statistical results may initially appear as dry as the desert, we assure our esteemed readers that the findings are anything but. The numbers tell a tale of tangential tangos between what might seem like unrelated entities. This investigation promises not only to elucidate a bizarre correlation, but also to entertain and bring some mirth to the otherwise sober world of academic research.

ChatGPT:

Maryland statistical assistants, FOXNews.com customer satisfaction, Bureau of Labor Statistics, American Customer Satisfaction Index, correlation coefficient, statistical analysis, empirical study, data analysis, research findings, academic research, strange correlations, mirth in academia

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of statistical assistants in Maryland
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of statistical assistants in Maryland
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of statistical assistants in Maryland

Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com
Source: American Customer Satisfaction Index
See what else correlates with Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com

Correlation r = 0.9418595 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8870994 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 88.7% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of statistical assistants in Maryland) over the 12 years from 2010 through 2021.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.7E-6. 0.0000047433773164228436000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.94 in 0.00047% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 210,820 random variables You don't actually need 210 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 11 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 11 because we have two variables measured over a period of 12 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.8, 0.98 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
201020112012201320142015201620172018201920202021
The number of statistical assistants in Maryland (Statistical Assistants)29036035028018021024022022017015090
Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com (Consumer Satisfaction)828284827676797778787572




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([290,360,350,280,180,210,240,220,220,170,150,90,])
array_2 = np.array([82,82,84,82,76,76,79,77,78,78,75,72,])
array_1_name = "The number of statistical assistants in Maryland"
array_2_name = "Customer satisfaction with FOXNews.com"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 5937 · Black Variable ID: 9247 · Red Variable ID: 19862
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