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Spurious correlation #3,527 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is US per-person consumption of bottled water and the second variable is U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB).  The chart goes from 2002 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As bottled water consumption rose, so did the demand for coolers in offices and homes. This led to a surge in electricity usage, boosting the profits of power companies. U.S. Bancorp's stock price rose as a result because they held major investments in these electrifyingly successful utility companies.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Generate an image inspired by bauhaus depicting this scene: A group of people gather in a sleek, minimalist setting. Each individual holds a clear, geometrically shaped bottle filled with water. As they drink from the bottles, their bodies visibly rehydrate, becoming more alert and focused. Their clear minds enable them to engage in deep discussions about finance and investment decisions. In the background, a stylish, abstract representation of U.S. Bancorp's stock price graph emerges, steadily trending upwards. The interconnected visuals of hydration and the rising stock graph impeccably illustrate the link between increased bottled water consumption and the positive impact on U.S. Bancorp's stock price. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: A scene from Skyrim Scalar art inspired by bauhaus Charcoal Low poly
ChatGPT: inspired by bauhaus

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB), in the following situation: Because as people drank more bottled water, they became more hydrated, making better financial decisions. Their clear minds led to increased investments, boosting U.S. Bancorp's stock price. It's a liquid asset!. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In the scene, we see a group of people carrying bottles of water. As they drink the water, their bodies become hydrated and they begin to feel more alert and focused. With clear minds, they are seen making investment decisions and discussing finance. In the background, we see U.S. Bancorp's stock price graph moving upward, symbolizing the increase in investments and the positive impact on the stock price. The bottled water in their hands and the rising stock graph together illustrate the connection between increased bottled water consumption and the boost in U.S. Bancorp's stock price.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ inspired by bauhaus ] and depicting this scene: In the scene, we see a group of people carrying bottles of water. As they drink the water, their bodies become hydrated and they begin to feel more alert and focused. With clear minds, they are seen making investment decisions and discussing finance. In the background, we see U.S. Bancorp's stock price graph moving upward, symbolizing the increase in investments and the positive impact on the stock price. The bottled water in their hands and the rising stock graph together illustrate the connection between increased bottled water consumption and the boost in U.S. Bancorp's stock price. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Generate an image inspired by bauhaus depicting this scene: A group of people gather in a sleek, minimalist setting. Each individual holds a clear, geometrically shaped bottle filled with water. As they drink from the bottles, their bodies visibly rehydrate, becoming more alert and focused. Their clear minds enable them to engage in deep discussions about finance and investment decisions. In the background, a stylish, abstract representation of U.S. Bancorp's stock price graph emerges, steadily trending upwards. The interconnected visuals of hydration and the rising stock graph impeccably illustrate the link between increased bottled water consumption and the positive impact on U.S. Bancorp's stock price.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in US per-person consumption of bottled water caused U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB) to increase.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price

The Journal of Financial Fluid Dynamics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title punny if you can come up with clever pun. If not, just make it sound clever.

Your research team used data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01 for 2002 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
INTRODUCTION

Water you waiting for? It's time to dive into the refreshing world of finance and hydration, where the liquid assets of bottled water meet the liquidity of stock prices. As the saying goes, "water you know, you can't un-know," and in this paper, we aim to quench your thirst for knowledge by exploring the unexpected relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB).

So, what sparked our interest in this watery conundrum? Well, we couldn't resist the opportunity to make a splash in the realm of financial research by delving into a topic that's both current and, dare I say, quite fluid. The concept of correlating a basic human need for hydration with the fluctuations of a bank's stock price may seem like a drop in the ocean of financial analysis, but as we dipped our toes into the data, we were pleasantly surprised by the buoyant connection we discovered.

On that note, let's not beat around the bush – we're all familiar with the image of a businessperson sipping bottled water while monitoring stock trends on their screens. But have you ever wondered if this seemingly innocuous act of hydration could actually have a ripple effect on stock prices? It's certainly a punderful thought!

So, grab a glass of water (bottled or otherwise) and let's wade into the depths of our findings, where we'll explore the liquidity, if you will, between something as essential as water consumption and the financial waves that may be influenced by its flow. Join us for a journey where we aim to make waves in the world of finance while staying afloat in the sea of humor and unexpected connections. After all, the pun is mightier than the sword!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Water you waiting for? It's time to dive into the refreshing world of finance and hydration, where the liquid assets of bottled water meet the liquidity of stock prices. As the saying goes, "water you know, you can't un-know," and in this paper, we aim to quench your thirst for knowledge by exploring the unexpected relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB).
So, what sparked our interest in this watery conundrum? Well, we couldn't resist the opportunity to make a splash in the realm of financial research by delving into a topic that's both current and, dare I say, quite fluid. The concept of correlating a basic human need for hydration with the fluctuations of a bank's stock price may seem like a drop in the ocean of financial analysis, but as we dipped our toes into the data, we were pleasantly surprised by the buoyant connection we discovered.
On that note, let's not beat around the bush – we're all familiar with the image of a businessperson sipping bottled water while monitoring stock trends on their screens. But have you ever wondered if this seemingly innocuous act of hydration could actually have a ripple effect on stock prices? It's certainly a punderful thought!
So, grab a glass of water (bottled or otherwise) and let's wade into the depths of our findings, where we'll explore the liquidity, if you will, between something as essential as water consumption and the financial waves that may be influenced by its flow. Join us for a journey where we aim to make waves in the world of finance while staying afloat in the sea of humor and unexpected connections. After all, the pun is mightier than the sword!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

Smith, Doe, and Jones (2015) examine the impact of consumer behavior on stock prices in their groundbreaking study titled "Liquid Assets and Stock Market Liquidity: A Comparative Analysis." The authors find that consumer trends can indeed have a significant influence on the stock market, with a focus on the beverage industry. Their analysis, although comprehensive, delves into the broader category of liquid assets and does not specifically address the influence of bottled water consumption on individual stock prices.

In a similar vein, "Thirst for Success: Understanding Consumer Choices and Financial Markets" by Brown and White (2018) provides a detailed exploration of consumer preferences and their effects on financial markets. The authors acknowledge the potential influence of beverage consumption on stock prices but primarily focus on the broader consumer goods sector. Their work serves as a cornerstone for understanding the intricate relationship between consumer behavior and stock market dynamics.

Turning to non-fiction literature, "Bottled Up: The Economics of Bottled Water" by Clearwater (2020) offers valuable insights into the economic aspects of the bottled water industry. The book analyzes the market forces and consumer behaviors that drive the consumption of bottled water, shedding light on its role in the broader economic landscape. While the book's primary focus is not on stock market correlations, its exploration of consumer demand provides a solid foundation for understanding the potential impact on financial indicators.

On the fictional side, "The Thirst Quencher's Dilemma" by A. Liquid (2017) presents a lighthearted narrative that humorously intertwines the world of finance with the quenching quest for hydration. Although a work of fiction, the book's playful exploration of the human desire for refreshment and its intersection with financial endeavors offers a whimsical perspective that parallels our own research interests.

In our pursuit of understanding the interconnectedness of refreshment and finance, we also dived into the world of television for inspiration and insight. Shows such as "Thirsty for Stocks" and "Wall Street Hydration" provided a quirky yet surprisingly relevant depiction of fictional characters navigating the intersection of consumer behavior and stock market dynamics. While these shows may not directly contribute to academic literature, their exaggerated portrayal of the relationship between hydration and financial decision-making certainly left us awash with amusement and speculative pondering.

As we embark on this scholarly journey, we recognize the need to navigate the seas of knowledge with both rigor and levity. The literature reviewed thus far has laid the groundwork for our exploration of the captivating correlation between bottled water consumption and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp. With each source contributing a drop to the ocean of knowledge, we move forward with a buoyant spirit and a commitment to uncovering the refreshing truths that lie beneath the surface of financial analysis.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) . You used data from 2002 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Water you waiting for? It's time to dive into the refreshing world of finance and hydration, where the liquid assets of bottled water meet the liquidity of stock prices. As the saying goes, "water you know, you can't un-know," and in this paper, we aim to quench your thirst for knowledge by exploring the unexpected relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB).
So, what sparked our interest in this watery conundrum? Well, we couldn't resist the opportunity to make a splash in the realm of financial research by delving into a topic that's both current and, dare I say, quite fluid. The concept of correlating a basic human need for hydration with the fluctuations of a bank's stock price may seem like a drop in the ocean of financial analysis, but as we dipped our toes into the data, we were pleasantly surprised by the buoyant connection we discovered.
On that note, let's not beat around the bush – we're all familiar with the image of a businessperson sipping bottled water while monitoring stock trends on their screens. But have you ever wondered if this seemingly innocuous act of hydration could actually have a ripple effect on stock prices? It's certainly a punderful thought!
So, grab a glass of water (bottled or otherwise) and let's wade into the depths of our findings, where we'll explore the liquidity, if you will, between something as essential as water consumption and the financial waves that may be influenced by its flow. Join us for a journey where we aim to make waves in the world of finance while staying afloat in the sea of humor and unexpected connections. After all, the pun is mightier than the sword!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Our methodology flowed from a watertight combination of statistical analysis, econometric modeling, and an aqueduct of data collection. To distill the essence of the relationship between bottled water consumption and U.S. Bancorp (USB) stock price, our research team poured over data from 2002 to 2022, sourcing refreshing statistics from a variety of data streams, primarily tapping into the freshwater sources of Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv).

To kick off our methodical dive into this bubbly correlation, we first quenched our thirst for knowledge by gathering comprehensive data on per-person consumption of bottled water in the United States. This involved sifting through gallons upon gallons of data, allowing us to hydrate our economic analysis with precise figures on the ebb and flow of this essential liquid refreshment. Trust us, it was quite the splash!

With our bottles filled to the brim with consumption data, we then turned our attention to the stock market tides, specifically honing in on the performance of U.S. Bancorp (USB) stock price. Using a multi-pronged approach, we analyzed market trends, liquidity indicators, and financial waves to capture the fluctuating value of USB stock. It was like embarking on a deep-sea fishing expedition, casting our net wide to capture the nuances of stock market movements.

Once our datasets were amassed, we undertook a hydrodynamic statistical analysis to navigate the waves of correlation between bottled water consumption and USB stock price. We utilized a bevy of analytical tools, including correlation coefficients, regression models, and time series analysis, to distill the connection between these seemingly disparate entities. The currents of our statistical analysis revealed a surging correlation coefficient of 0.9196672, making waves in the realm of financial research.

It's also important to note that we navigated any potential data currents and whirlpools by employing rigorous statistical tests, ensuring that our findings remained as crystal clear as a pristine mountain spring. Our methodology was anchored in robust statistical techniques, safeguarding against any drift or distorted ripples in our analysis.

Overall, our approach melded the rigors of quantitative analysis with the refreshing fluidity of the research subject, allowing us to quench our intellectual curiosity while surfacing with robust empirical insights. In the spirit of this watery saga, we remained buoyant in our pursuit of knowledge, buoyed by the lure of unconventional correlations and the thrill of discovering untapped financial currents. Now, let's set sail into the depths of our findings, where the waves of statistical significance and financial fluidity converge!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) .

For the time period 2002 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.9196672, r-squared of 0.8457877, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
INTRODUCTION
Water you waiting for? It's time to dive into the refreshing world of finance and hydration, where the liquid assets of bottled water meet the liquidity of stock prices. As the saying goes, "water you know, you can't un-know," and in this paper, we aim to quench your thirst for knowledge by exploring the unexpected relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB).
So, what sparked our interest in this watery conundrum? Well, we couldn't resist the opportunity to make a splash in the realm of financial research by delving into a topic that's both current and, dare I say, quite fluid. The concept of correlating a basic human need for hydration with the fluctuations of a bank's stock price may seem like a drop in the ocean of financial analysis, but as we dipped our toes into the data, we were pleasantly surprised by the buoyant connection we discovered.
On that note, let's not beat around the bush – we're all familiar with the image of a businessperson sipping bottled water while monitoring stock trends on their screens. But have you ever wondered if this seemingly innocuous act of hydration could actually have a ripple effect on stock prices? It's certainly a punderful thought!
So, grab a glass of water (bottled or otherwise) and let's wade into the depths of our findings, where we'll explore the liquidity, if you will, between something as essential as water consumption and the financial waves that may be influenced by its flow. Join us for a journey where we aim to make waves in the world of finance while staying afloat in the sea of humor and unexpected connections. After all, the pun is mightier than the sword!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The quenching analysis of the data from 2002 to 2022 showed a remarkably strong correlation between the per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB), with a correlation coefficient of 0.9196672, an r-squared of 0.8457877, and a p-value less than 0.01. This correlation exceeded our initial expectations and left us all a little waterlogged with glee.

Our findings indicate that as bottled water consumption flows, so too does the stock price of U.S. Bancorp. The figure (Fig. 1) illustrates this relationship clearly, though we admit it's not quite as refreshing as a cold glass of H2-oh.

In retrospect, our team is buoyed by the novelty and resilience of this unanticipated connection. Who would have thought that the ebb and flow of stock prices could be influenced by the ebb and flow of bottled water consumption? It's like the stock market is taking a sip from the fountain of consumer demand!

These results, as clear as a mountain spring, shed light on the potential impact of a basic human necessity on the financial world. It's a reminder that even the most seemingly mundane elements of our daily lives can ripple through to affect the grand tapestry of the economy.

So, while we may have started as mere dropouts, our research has led us to a deep well of understanding, demonstrating that the financial landscape can sometimes be as fluid as the beverages we consume. Join us in toasting to these surprising findings, as we dive into the sea of finance with a splash of humor and a thirst for unconventional knowledge.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
Smith, Doe, and Jones (2015) examine the impact of consumer behavior on stock prices in their groundbreaking study titled "Liquid Assets and Stock Market Liquidity: A Comparative Analysis." The authors find that consumer trends can indeed have a significant influence on the stock market, with a focus on the beverage industry. Their analysis, although comprehensive, delves into the broader category of liquid assets and does not specifically address the influence of bottled water consumption on individual stock prices.
In a similar vein, "Thirst for Success: Understanding Consumer Choices and Financial Markets" by Brown and White (2018) provides a detailed exploration of consumer preferences and their effects on financial markets. The authors acknowledge the potential influence of beverage consumption on stock prices but primarily focus on the broader consumer goods sector. Their work serves as a cornerstone for understanding the intricate relationship between consumer behavior and stock market dynamics.
Turning to non-fiction literature, "Bottled Up: The Economics of Bottled Water" by Clearwater (2020) offers valuable insights into the economic aspects of the bottled water industry. The book analyzes the market forces and consumer behaviors that drive the consumption of bottled water, shedding light on its role in the broader economic landscape. While the book's primary focus is not on stock market correlations, its exploration of consumer demand provides a solid foundation for understanding the potential impact on financial indicators.
On the fictional side, "The Thirst Quencher's Dilemma" by A. Liquid (2017) presents a lighthearted narrative that humorously intertwines the world of finance with the quenching quest for hydration. Although a work of fiction, the book's playful exploration of the human desire for refreshment and its intersection with financial endeavors offers a whimsical perspective that parallels our own research interests.
In our pursuit of understanding the interconnectedness of refreshment and finance, we also dived into the world of television for inspiration and insight. Shows such as "Thirsty for Stocks" and "Wall Street Hydration" provided a quirky yet surprisingly relevant depiction of fictional characters navigating the intersection of consumer behavior and stock market dynamics. While these shows may not directly contribute to academic literature, their exaggerated portrayal of the relationship between hydration and financial decision-making certainly left us awash with amusement and speculative pondering.
As we embark on this scholarly journey, we recognize the need to navigate the seas of knowledge with both rigor and levity. The literature reviewed thus far has laid the groundwork for our exploration of the captivating correlation between bottled water consumption and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp. With each source contributing a drop to the ocean of knowledge, we move forward with a buoyant spirit and a commitment to uncovering the refreshing truths that lie beneath the surface of financial analysis.

[[RESULTS]]
The quenching analysis of the data from 2002 to 2022 showed a remarkably strong correlation between the per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB), with a correlation coefficient of 0.9196672, an r-squared of 0.8457877, and a p-value less than 0.01. This correlation exceeded our initial expectations and left us all a little waterlogged with glee.
Our findings indicate that as bottled water consumption flows, so too does the stock price of U.S. Bancorp. The figure (Fig. 1) illustrates this relationship clearly, though we admit it's not quite as refreshing as a cold glass of H2-oh.
In retrospect, our team is buoyed by the novelty and resilience of this unanticipated connection. Who would have thought that the ebb and flow of stock prices could be influenced by the ebb and flow of bottled water consumption? It's like the stock market is taking a sip from the fountain of consumer demand!
These results, as clear as a mountain spring, shed light on the potential impact of a basic human necessity on the financial world. It's a reminder that even the most seemingly mundane elements of our daily lives can ripple through to affect the grand tapestry of the economy.
So, while we may have started as mere dropouts, our research has led us to a deep well of understanding, demonstrating that the financial landscape can sometimes be as fluid as the beverages we consume. Join us in toasting to these surprising findings, as we dive into the sea of finance with a splash of humor and a thirst for unconventional knowledge.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

Our findings have confirmed the long-suspected connection between bottled water consumption and U.S. Bancorp's stock price. It appears that when it comes to stock market performance, the 'tide' of bottled water consumption certainly 'flows in' with a significant impact.

Drawing from the literature review, we must commend A. Liquid for his whimsical yet strangely prescient narrative in "The Thirst Quencher's Dilemma." Who would have thought that A. Liquid's fictional take on the stock market would align so closely with our real-world findings? It makes one wonder if there's a 'liquid' connection between fictional musings and factual research after all.

Furthermore, the work of Clearwater in "Bottled Up: The Economics of Bottled Water" has shown its relevance in providing a foundational understanding of the economic forces shaping the bottled water industry. As it turns out, these economic forces may also have a ripple effect on the stock market, amplifying the financial significance of bottled water consumption.

Brown and White's comprehensive examination of consumer preferences and their effects on financial markets in "Thirst for Success: Understanding Consumer Choices and Financial Markets" has truly paved the way for our own insights. It's as if the exploration of consumer thirst in their work has now surfaced to reveal a link to stock market buoyancy. Who knew that a consumer's preference for a refreshing gulp could have such a profound influence on the financial ebb and flow?

The correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 discovered in our study is nothing short of staggering. With a p-value less than 0.01, we're not 'watering down' the significance of this discovery. It seems that the refreshing streams of bottled water consumption undeniably 'flow' into the performance of U.S. Bancorp's stock. The implications of this 'thirst-quenching' correlation extend far beyond our initial expectations and leave investors awash with new considerations.

In conclusion, our findings exude the 'fountain' of knowledge that stems from investigating unconventional relationships in the financial world. We've certainly managed to 'bottle up' an unexpected insight with our research, and it's refreshing to see the impact of bottled water consumption put under the scholarly microscope.

So, let's raise a glass to these unexpected, yet 'on-tap' discoveries, and remember that even in the serious world of academic research, there's always room for a 'splash' of humor. As we navigate the 'currents' of the stock market, may these findings serve as a reminder that sometimes, the most 'thirsty' of correlations can lead to the coolest of revelations. Cheers to quenching your thirst for unconventional knowledge!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a silly researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between US per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
"Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price"

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
INTRODUCTION
Water you waiting for? It's time to dive into the refreshing world of finance and hydration, where the liquid assets of bottled water meet the liquidity of stock prices. As the saying goes, "water you know, you can't un-know," and in this paper, we aim to quench your thirst for knowledge by exploring the unexpected relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB).
So, what sparked our interest in this watery conundrum? Well, we couldn't resist the opportunity to make a splash in the realm of financial research by delving into a topic that's both current and, dare I say, quite fluid. The concept of correlating a basic human need for hydration with the fluctuations of a bank's stock price may seem like a drop in the ocean of financial analysis, but as we dipped our toes into the data, we were pleasantly surprised by the buoyant connection we discovered.
On that note, let's not beat around the bush – we're all familiar with the image of a businessperson sipping bottled water while monitoring stock trends on their screens. But have you ever wondered if this seemingly innocuous act of hydration could actually have a ripple effect on stock prices? It's certainly a punderful thought!
So, grab a glass of water (bottled or otherwise) and let's wade into the depths of our findings, where we'll explore the liquidity, if you will, between something as essential as water consumption and the financial waves that may be influenced by its flow. Join us for a journey where we aim to make waves in the world of finance while staying afloat in the sea of humor and unexpected connections. After all, the pun is mightier than the sword!

[[RESULTS]]
The quenching analysis of the data from 2002 to 2022 showed a remarkably strong correlation between the per-person consumption of bottled water and U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB), with a correlation coefficient of 0.9196672, an r-squared of 0.8457877, and a p-value less than 0.01. This correlation exceeded our initial expectations and left us all a little waterlogged with glee.
Our findings indicate that as bottled water consumption flows, so too does the stock price of U.S. Bancorp. The figure (Fig. 1) illustrates this relationship clearly, though we admit it's not quite as refreshing as a cold glass of H2-oh.
In retrospect, our team is buoyed by the novelty and resilience of this unanticipated connection. Who would have thought that the ebb and flow of stock prices could be influenced by the ebb and flow of bottled water consumption? It's like the stock market is taking a sip from the fountain of consumer demand!
These results, as clear as a mountain spring, shed light on the potential impact of a basic human necessity on the financial world. It's a reminder that even the most seemingly mundane elements of our daily lives can ripple through to affect the grand tapestry of the economy.
So, while we may have started as mere dropouts, our research has led us to a deep well of understanding, demonstrating that the financial landscape can sometimes be as fluid as the beverages we consume. Join us in toasting to these surprising findings, as we dive into the sea of finance with a splash of humor and a thirst for unconventional knowledge.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

As we wade through the results, it's crystal clear that there's more to the sway of U.S. Bancorp's stock price than meets the eye. The remarkable correlation between per-person consumption of bottled water and USB's stock price has left us feeling as bubbly as a freshly opened soda. Who would have thought that something as refreshing as bottled water could have such a profound impact on the stock market?

It's like the stock prices are not just affected by market forces but also by the eau so essential to our daily lives. As we raise our glasses to these findings, we can't help but marvel at the ripple effect of something as basic as quenching our thirst on the financial sea.

So, with a hearty chuckle and a tip of our water bottles, we conclude that this research has reached its saturation point. No need to pour more resources into this, as there's a wave of other financial puzzles to ride. Keep swimming, fellow researchers – the sea of finance is brimming with surprises!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Financial Fluid Dynamics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

International Association for Beverage Market Research and Economic Analysis (IABMREA)


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Quenching Your Thirst for Profits: A Bottled Water's Influence on USB Stock Price with an abstract of In this study, we delve into the relationship between US per-person consumption of bottled water and the stock price of U.S. Bancorp (USB). Utilizing the refreshing streams of data from Statista and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), our research team explored this watery correlation, bubbling with excitement at the possibility of untapped financial insights. Our findings revealed a remarkably strong correlation coefficient of 0.9196672 and p < 0.01, spanning the years 2002 to 2022. We invite readers to dive into our findings and soak in the delightful confluence of thirst-quenching consumption and stock price fluctuations. Join us as we navigate the ebb and flow of this unexpected relationship, where the waves of stock performance may indeed be influenced by the tide of bottled water consumption.

ChatGPT:

bottled water consumption, US Bancorp stock price, correlation, financial insights, stock price fluctuations, US per-person consumption, Statista, LSEG Analytics, Refinitiv, relationship analysis, bottled water influence, financial data, correlation coefficient, stock performance, influence of consumption

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

US per-person consumption of bottled water
Source: Statista
See what else correlates with US per-person consumption of bottled water

U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB)
Detailed data title: Opening price of U.S. Bancorp (USB) on the first trading day of the year
Source: LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv)
Additional Info: Via Microsoft Excel Stockhistory function

See what else correlates with U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB)

Correlation r = 0.9196672 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.8457877 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 84.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB)) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., US per-person consumption of bottled water) over the 21 years from 2002 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 3.8E-9. 0.0000000037726847516543600000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.92 in 3.8E-7% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 265,063,228 random variables You don't actually need 265 million variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 20 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 20 because we have two variables measured over a period of 21 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.81, 0.97 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
200220032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
US per-person consumption of bottled water (Gallons)20.121.623.225.427.62928.527.628.328.730.431.633.635.938.540.642.343.745.24746.5
U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB) (Stock price)20.4921.2329.5831.230.0535.6131.7925.0422.5727.227.6132.4639.8745.4341.7551.6254.0545.2259.4746.6956.08




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([20.1,21.6,23.2,25.4,27.6,29,28.5,27.6,28.3,28.7,30.4,31.6,33.6,35.9,38.5,40.6,42.3,43.7,45.2,47,46.5,])
array_2 = np.array([20.49,21.23,29.58,31.2,30.05,35.61,31.79,25.04,22.57,27.2,27.61,32.46,39.87,45.43,41.75,51.62,54.05,45.22,59.47,46.69,56.08,])
array_1_name = "US per-person consumption of bottled water"
array_2_name = "U.S. Bancorp's stock price (USB)"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 3527 · Black Variable ID: 442 · Red Variable ID: 1717
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