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Spurious correlation #3,487 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the second variable is Hess Corporation's stock price (HES).  The chart goes from 2003 to 2020, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

The presence of more network systems administrators in Missouri led to smoother internet connections, allowing for seamless online trading of Hess Corporation's stock. This increased efficiency and accessibility attracted more investors, driving up the demand for HES stock and ultimately boosting its price.

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create an image of a cybernetic gas station convenience store in a futuristic Missouri city. The store's shelves are filled with an array of high-tech, glowing snacks and beverages, reflecting the increased demand due to a surge in the number of network systems administrators in the area. A large display outside the store showcases the real-time stock price of Hess Corporation's (HES), indicating a sharp increase in value. The scene should be illuminated with neon lights, showcasing a blend of technology and consumerism in a cybernetic metropolis. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Vaporwave Cybernetic art An image that looks like it is a scene from A Disney Movie Hyper-realistic Low poly
ChatGPT: Cybernetic art

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES), in the following situation: As the number of network systems administrators in Missouri grew, so did the demand for snacks, leading to a surge in sales for Hess Corporation's gas station convenience stores, thus boosting their stock price.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In Missouri, the number of network systems administrators increased, leading to a higher demand for snacks. At Hess Corporation's gas station convenience stores, the shelves were being rapidly restocked as sales surged. Outside the store, the stock price for Hess Corporation's (HES) was displayed, showing a sharp increase in value.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ Cybernetic art ] and depicting this scene: In Missouri, the number of network systems administrators increased, leading to a higher demand for snacks. At Hess Corporation's gas station convenience stores, the shelves were being rapidly restocked as sales surged. Outside the store, the stock price for Hess Corporation's (HES) was displayed, showing a sharp increase in value. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create an image of a cybernetic gas station convenience store in a futuristic Missouri city. The store's shelves are filled with an array of high-tech, glowing snacks and beverages, reflecting the increased demand due to a surge in the number of network systems administrators in the area. A large display outside the store showcases the real-time stock price of Hess Corporation's (HES), indicating a sharp increase in value. The scene should be illuminated with neon lights, showcasing a blend of technology and consumerism in a cybernetic metropolis.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how an increase in The number of network systems administrators in Missouri caused Hess Corporation's stock price (HES) to increase.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

The Journal of Corporate Computing and Stock Strategies

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Make the title an alliteration.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2020.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

The interplay between the realm of technology and the whimsical world of finance has long been a subject of great curiosity and speculation. In this paper, we set out to investigate an unexpected tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). While the connection between these two entities may initially seem as tenuous as a Wi-Fi signal in a crowded coffee shop, our findings reveal a surprising correlation that has the potential to spark delight and intrigue among both financial and tech enthusiasts.

As the digital landscape continues to expand and evolve at a pace that even the most agile hedge fund manager would struggle to match, the role of network systems administrators becomes increasingly crucial. These guardians of the digital realm ensure that the gears of technological infrastructure continue to spin, unperturbed by digital gremlins and cyber hiccups. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Hess Corporation, a stalwart presence in the energy sector whose stock performances have witnessed their fair share of peaks and troughs, not unlike the undulating frequencies of an underperforming broadband connection.

The correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 that we've unearthed beckons with a seductive allure, akin to the siren call of a flashing "Buy" button on a day-trader's screen. Furthermore, with a p-value less than 0.01, our findings flash brighter than a server room's array of indicator lights, demanding attention and exploration.

This curious nexus of network administrators and stock prices invites us to probe beneath the surface of seemingly disparate domains and inquire whether this correlation is but a jazzy coincidence or the harbinger of a new theory that's as quirky as a programmer's sense of humor. It's time to roll up our sleeves, don our nerdiest spectacles, and embark upon a journey into the delightful overlap of tech and finance, where servers hum in harmony with stock tickers, and algorithms dance alongside market trends. So, let's venture forth and endeavor to decipher the code behind this mysterious symbiosis.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a few real TV shows that sound like they might be relevant to the topic that you watched as research.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
The interplay between the realm of technology and the whimsical world of finance has long been a subject of great curiosity and speculation. In this paper, we set out to investigate an unexpected tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). While the connection between these two entities may initially seem as tenuous as a Wi-Fi signal in a crowded coffee shop, our findings reveal a surprising correlation that has the potential to spark delight and intrigue among both financial and tech enthusiasts.
As the digital landscape continues to expand and evolve at a pace that even the most agile hedge fund manager would struggle to match, the role of network systems administrators becomes increasingly crucial. These guardians of the digital realm ensure that the gears of technological infrastructure continue to spin, unperturbed by digital gremlins and cyber hiccups. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Hess Corporation, a stalwart presence in the energy sector whose stock performances have witnessed their fair share of peaks and troughs, not unlike the undulating frequencies of an underperforming broadband connection.
The correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 that we've unearthed beckons with a seductive allure, akin to the siren call of a flashing "Buy" button on a day-trader's screen. Furthermore, with a p-value less than 0.01, our findings flash brighter than a server room's array of indicator lights, demanding attention and exploration.
This curious nexus of network administrators and stock prices invites us to probe beneath the surface of seemingly disparate domains and inquire whether this correlation is but a jazzy coincidence or the harbinger of a new theory that's as quirky as a programmer's sense of humor. It's time to roll up our sleeves, don our nerdiest spectacles, and embark upon a journey into the delightful overlap of tech and finance, where servers hum in harmony with stock tickers, and algorithms dance alongside market trends. So, let's venture forth and endeavor to decipher the code behind this mysterious symbiosis.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

As we embark on this curious investigation into the interplay between network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES), it is vital to explore existing literature that delves into the realms of both finance and technology. Through a comprehensive review of scholarly articles, books, and TV shows, we aim to shed light on the potential connections that our study seeks to uncover.

Smith et al. (2017) examined the impact of technological workforce dynamics on stock prices, providing valuable insights into the influence of IT professionals on market trends. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones (2019) explored the role of organizational structure in shaping stock performance, laying the groundwork for understanding how tech personnel may affect corporate valuation.

Taking a more holistic approach, "The Fourth Industrial Revolution" by Klaus Schwab and "The Innovator's Dilemma" by Clayton M. Christensen offer a broader perspective on the transformative power of technology in shaping financial landscapes. With compelling narratives and astute observations, these works beckon us to contemplate the intricate dance between innovation and market forces, inspiring us to delve deeper into the curious case of network administrators and stock values.

On a slightly more fictional note, the works of Neal Stephenson, particularly "Cryptonomicon" and "Snow Crash," offer imaginative portrayals of technological prowess intersecting with financial undertakings. While these books veer into the realm of speculative fiction, their vivid imaginings serve as a reminder of the captivating possibilities that arise when tech and finance intertwine.

In our quest to unravel the mysteries of this enigmatic correlation, our research team also drew inspiration from TV shows such as "Silicon Valley" and "Billions." These series provided valuable insights into the dynamic and often tumultuous interplay between tech innovation, corporate maneuvering, and financial markets, offering a touch of levity and drama to our scholarly pursuits.

Armed with an eclectic mix of scholarly works, speculative fiction, and dramatic portrayals from the small screen, we are primed to contextualize our findings within the broader landscape of technological and financial narratives, ready to unravel the unexpected tango between network administrators and stock prices.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) . You used data from 2003 to 2020

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
The interplay between the realm of technology and the whimsical world of finance has long been a subject of great curiosity and speculation. In this paper, we set out to investigate an unexpected tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). While the connection between these two entities may initially seem as tenuous as a Wi-Fi signal in a crowded coffee shop, our findings reveal a surprising correlation that has the potential to spark delight and intrigue among both financial and tech enthusiasts.
As the digital landscape continues to expand and evolve at a pace that even the most agile hedge fund manager would struggle to match, the role of network systems administrators becomes increasingly crucial. These guardians of the digital realm ensure that the gears of technological infrastructure continue to spin, unperturbed by digital gremlins and cyber hiccups. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Hess Corporation, a stalwart presence in the energy sector whose stock performances have witnessed their fair share of peaks and troughs, not unlike the undulating frequencies of an underperforming broadband connection.
The correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 that we've unearthed beckons with a seductive allure, akin to the siren call of a flashing "Buy" button on a day-trader's screen. Furthermore, with a p-value less than 0.01, our findings flash brighter than a server room's array of indicator lights, demanding attention and exploration.
This curious nexus of network administrators and stock prices invites us to probe beneath the surface of seemingly disparate domains and inquire whether this correlation is but a jazzy coincidence or the harbinger of a new theory that's as quirky as a programmer's sense of humor. It's time to roll up our sleeves, don our nerdiest spectacles, and embark upon a journey into the delightful overlap of tech and finance, where servers hum in harmony with stock tickers, and algorithms dance alongside market trends. So, let's venture forth and endeavor to decipher the code behind this mysterious symbiosis.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

Conducting this whimsical investigation into the tantalizing tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) involved a series of meticulous and slightly unorthodox research methods. While the conventional might shy away from delving into such quirky connections, we fearlessly ventured forth with a blend of statistical wizardry and a hint of entrepreneurial spirit.

Data Collection:
First and foremost, our research team scoured the depths of the digital ocean, navigating through the choppy waves of the internet to fish out relevant data. We cast our nets far and wide, capturing information from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), reeling in datasets spanning the years 2003 to 2020. With our trusty ship of spreadsheets and data visualization tools, we set sail into the sea of numbers, ready to navigate through the uncharted territories of network administrators and stock prices.

Quantifying Network Systems Administrators:
To quantify the population of network systems administrators in the great state of Missouri, our methods took a rather peculiar turn. Armed with an abacus borrowed from an ancient accounting department and a fervent desire to avoid the maddening allure of spreadsheets, we counted each administrator as if we were tallying a treasure trove of doubloons. Our intrepid crew weathered the storm of data entry with the fortitude of sailors braving a tempest, ensuring that no admin went uncounted in our quest for numerical clarity.

Stock Price Analysis:
Meanwhile, on the tumultuous seas of stock price analysis, our approach assumed an air of seasoned speculation coupled with the precision of a stock market aficionado. We sifted through historical stock price data for the enigmatic entity known as Hess Corporation (HES), tracking its market performances with the scrutiny of a curious cat eyeing a laser pointer. Through candlestick charts and moving averages, we sought to decipher the tempestuous rhythms of stock price movements, acknowledging that the financial markets can be as capricious as an indecisive octopus in a dance-off.

Statistical Enchantment:
In order to unravel the mystery of the correlation between network administrators and stock prices, we summoned the mystical powers of statistical enchantment. With incantations of correlation coefficients and p-values, we harnessed the arcane arts of statistical analysis to reveal the hidden threads of connection between our seemingly unrelated variables. The cauldron bubbled with the simmering brew of regression analysis, and as the fumes of significance tests rose, we awaited the emergence of empirical wisdom with bated breath and the occasional eye of newt (not recommended for consumption).

Remarks on Research Rigor:
Throughout this colorful odyssey of data collection and analysis, we remained steadfast in our commitment to the principles of scientific rigor, ensuring that our findings were not simply the result of caffeinated delirium or a particularly vivid daydream. We diligently adhered to established methodologies and statistical conventions, albeit with a sprinkle of whimsy and a pinch of unconventional humor.

Ultimately, our research methodology blends the meticulous precision of empirical inquiry with a touch of lighthearted exploration, demonstrating that the pursuit of knowledge can indeed accommodate a dash of quirkiness. So, with our proverbial maps and compasses in hand, let us venture forth into the wild terrain of results and discussion, where the unexpected may lurk around every statistical corner.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv) .

For the time period 2003 to 2020, you found a correlation 0.8615205, r-squared of 0.7422175, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
The interplay between the realm of technology and the whimsical world of finance has long been a subject of great curiosity and speculation. In this paper, we set out to investigate an unexpected tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). While the connection between these two entities may initially seem as tenuous as a Wi-Fi signal in a crowded coffee shop, our findings reveal a surprising correlation that has the potential to spark delight and intrigue among both financial and tech enthusiasts.
As the digital landscape continues to expand and evolve at a pace that even the most agile hedge fund manager would struggle to match, the role of network systems administrators becomes increasingly crucial. These guardians of the digital realm ensure that the gears of technological infrastructure continue to spin, unperturbed by digital gremlins and cyber hiccups. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Hess Corporation, a stalwart presence in the energy sector whose stock performances have witnessed their fair share of peaks and troughs, not unlike the undulating frequencies of an underperforming broadband connection.
The correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 that we've unearthed beckons with a seductive allure, akin to the siren call of a flashing "Buy" button on a day-trader's screen. Furthermore, with a p-value less than 0.01, our findings flash brighter than a server room's array of indicator lights, demanding attention and exploration.
This curious nexus of network administrators and stock prices invites us to probe beneath the surface of seemingly disparate domains and inquire whether this correlation is but a jazzy coincidence or the harbinger of a new theory that's as quirky as a programmer's sense of humor. It's time to roll up our sleeves, don our nerdiest spectacles, and embark upon a journey into the delightful overlap of tech and finance, where servers hum in harmony with stock tickers, and algorithms dance alongside market trends. So, let's venture forth and endeavor to decipher the code behind this mysterious symbiosis.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

Upon delving into the tangled web of data, we discovered a noteworthy correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) from 2003 to 2020. Our analysis unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.8615205, indicating a strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct entities. It seems that the connection between technophiles and dollar signs is more than just a "LAN-d" of make-believe.

The r-squared value of 0.7422175 further corroborates the strength of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 74% of the variability in HES stock prices can be explained by changes in the number of network systems administrators in the Show-Me State.

In typical statistical fashion, our p-value of less than 0.01 has thrown open the doors of curiosity wide enough for even the most skeptical Wall Street skeptic to slip through. This p-value is so low, it's practically doing limbo under the bar of conventional significance – talk about setting the statistical bar high!

To visually capture this surprising correlation, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that graphically depicts the dance of data points showcasing the affinity between the number of network systems administrators and the stock price of Hess Corporation. This figure serves as a testament to the harmonious relationship we've uncovered, where knots and nodes interconnect to produce a symphony of statistical serendipity.

The implications of these findings are as intriguing as a cryptic line of code in a programmer's script. The connection between the number of network systems administrators and stock prices is a revelation that beckons us to investigate further. This correlation challenges traditional financial and technological paradigms, creating a captivating puzzle that demands to be solved with the wits of a seasoned trader and the savvy of a tech virtuoso.

It seems that in the jazzy world of finance, even the most unexpected players can join in the rhythm of market movements, proving that when it comes to statistical surprises, sometimes it's the seemingly unrelated variables that lead to the most extraordinary discoveries.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
As we embark on this curious investigation into the interplay between network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES), it is vital to explore existing literature that delves into the realms of both finance and technology. Through a comprehensive review of scholarly articles, books, and TV shows, we aim to shed light on the potential connections that our study seeks to uncover.
Smith et al. (2017) examined the impact of technological workforce dynamics on stock prices, providing valuable insights into the influence of IT professionals on market trends. Meanwhile, Doe and Jones (2019) explored the role of organizational structure in shaping stock performance, laying the groundwork for understanding how tech personnel may affect corporate valuation.
Taking a more holistic approach, "The Fourth Industrial Revolution" by Klaus Schwab and "The Innovator's Dilemma" by Clayton M. Christensen offer a broader perspective on the transformative power of technology in shaping financial landscapes. With compelling narratives and astute observations, these works beckon us to contemplate the intricate dance between innovation and market forces, inspiring us to delve deeper into the curious case of network administrators and stock values.
On a slightly more fictional note, the works of Neal Stephenson, particularly "Cryptonomicon" and "Snow Crash," offer imaginative portrayals of technological prowess intersecting with financial undertakings. While these books veer into the realm of speculative fiction, their vivid imaginings serve as a reminder of the captivating possibilities that arise when tech and finance intertwine.
In our quest to unravel the mysteries of this enigmatic correlation, our research team also drew inspiration from TV shows such as "Silicon Valley" and "Billions." These series provided valuable insights into the dynamic and often tumultuous interplay between tech innovation, corporate maneuvering, and financial markets, offering a touch of levity and drama to our scholarly pursuits.
Armed with an eclectic mix of scholarly works, speculative fiction, and dramatic portrayals from the small screen, we are primed to contextualize our findings within the broader landscape of technological and financial narratives, ready to unravel the unexpected tango between network administrators and stock prices.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon delving into the tangled web of data, we discovered a noteworthy correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) from 2003 to 2020. Our analysis unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.8615205, indicating a strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct entities. It seems that the connection between technophiles and dollar signs is more than just a "LAN-d" of make-believe.
The r-squared value of 0.7422175 further corroborates the strength of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 74% of the variability in HES stock prices can be explained by changes in the number of network systems administrators in the Show-Me State.
In typical statistical fashion, our p-value of less than 0.01 has thrown open the doors of curiosity wide enough for even the most skeptical Wall Street skeptic to slip through. This p-value is so low, it's practically doing limbo under the bar of conventional significance – talk about setting the statistical bar high!
To visually capture this surprising correlation, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that graphically depicts the dance of data points showcasing the affinity between the number of network systems administrators and the stock price of Hess Corporation. This figure serves as a testament to the harmonious relationship we've uncovered, where knots and nodes interconnect to produce a symphony of statistical serendipity.
The implications of these findings are as intriguing as a cryptic line of code in a programmer's script. The connection between the number of network systems administrators and stock prices is a revelation that beckons us to investigate further. This correlation challenges traditional financial and technological paradigms, creating a captivating puzzle that demands to be solved with the wits of a seasoned trader and the savvy of a tech virtuoso.
It seems that in the jazzy world of finance, even the most unexpected players can join in the rhythm of market movements, proving that when it comes to statistical surprises, sometimes it's the seemingly unrelated variables that lead to the most extraordinary discoveries.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[DISCUSSION]]

The curious correlation we have uncovered between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) from 2003 to 2020 sends ripples through the financial and technological realms, sparking a myriad of questions and raising eyebrows as if to say, "Well, I'll be server’d!" These unexpected findings not only validate prior research but also plunge us into the midst of a riveting dance between tech aficionados and market dynamics, where it seems that even the most unlikely partners can lead to a statistical tango of extraordinary proportions.

In our literature review, we revisited the insightful work of Smith et al. (2017), who illuminated the influence of IT professionals on market trends. As we initially approached the correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 in our own study, we couldn't help but slyly nod to Smith and colleagues as if to say, "You were on to something, and now we're on to something, too!" This connection reinforces the notion that the technological workforce, including the TEN-acious network systems administrators, wields significant sway over stock performances.

Moreover, our results mirror the sentiments expounded by Klaus Schwab and Clayton M. Christensen, whose works underscore the transformative power of technology in shaping financial landscapes. As we ponder the sturdy r-squared value of 0.7422175, we find ourselves standing amidst the veritable rubble of conventional wisdom, contemplating that perhaps the rise and fall of stock prices may be more entwined with technological undertakings than previously envisioned. It's almost as if the fluctuations in HES stock prices are choreographed by the unseen hands of tech operatives lingering in the ethers of Missouri – a striking confluence of digital might and financial weight.

It is also worth noting that our findings align with the spirit of speculative fiction as portrayed by Neal Stephenson, where technological prowess intersects with financial undertakings in captivating fashion. The statistical revelation of a p-value less than 0.01 seems to echo the fantastical musings of Stephenson's narratives, as if our study has unearthed a hidden plotline that transcends the boundaries of traditional financial paradigms.

In light of these observations, it becomes evident that the seemingly outlandish association between network administrators and stock values is not mere whimsy but rather a tale of synergistic might, where technology and finance engage in a dance of statistical serendipity that beckons us to ponder the unforeseen connections and influences that shape the markets.

Our study delivers a compelling narrative, one that beckons further exploration into the multifaceted dynamics of technology and finance, proving that when it comes to statistical surprises, truth can often be stranger than fiction. So, let's contemplate this revelation with the awe and amusement it deserves, for in the enigmatic world of numbers and markets, even the most unexpected correlations can lead to extraordinary discoveries.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a goofy academic researcher writing an academic paper. You follow the rules, but you throw out convention regularly to make jokes and funny asides.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of network systems administrators in Missouri and Hess Corporation's stock price (HES). Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock

[[ABSTRACT]]
This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
The interplay between the realm of technology and the whimsical world of finance has long been a subject of great curiosity and speculation. In this paper, we set out to investigate an unexpected tango between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). While the connection between these two entities may initially seem as tenuous as a Wi-Fi signal in a crowded coffee shop, our findings reveal a surprising correlation that has the potential to spark delight and intrigue among both financial and tech enthusiasts.
As the digital landscape continues to expand and evolve at a pace that even the most agile hedge fund manager would struggle to match, the role of network systems administrators becomes increasingly crucial. These guardians of the digital realm ensure that the gears of technological infrastructure continue to spin, unperturbed by digital gremlins and cyber hiccups. On the other end of the spectrum, we have the Hess Corporation, a stalwart presence in the energy sector whose stock performances have witnessed their fair share of peaks and troughs, not unlike the undulating frequencies of an underperforming broadband connection.
The correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 that we've unearthed beckons with a seductive allure, akin to the siren call of a flashing "Buy" button on a day-trader's screen. Furthermore, with a p-value less than 0.01, our findings flash brighter than a server room's array of indicator lights, demanding attention and exploration.
This curious nexus of network administrators and stock prices invites us to probe beneath the surface of seemingly disparate domains and inquire whether this correlation is but a jazzy coincidence or the harbinger of a new theory that's as quirky as a programmer's sense of humor. It's time to roll up our sleeves, don our nerdiest spectacles, and embark upon a journey into the delightful overlap of tech and finance, where servers hum in harmony with stock tickers, and algorithms dance alongside market trends. So, let's venture forth and endeavor to decipher the code behind this mysterious symbiosis.

[[RESULTS]]
Upon delving into the tangled web of data, we discovered a noteworthy correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) from 2003 to 2020. Our analysis unveiled a correlation coefficient of 0.8615205, indicating a strong positive relationship between these seemingly distinct entities. It seems that the connection between technophiles and dollar signs is more than just a "LAN-d" of make-believe.
The r-squared value of 0.7422175 further corroborates the strength of this relationship, suggesting that approximately 74% of the variability in HES stock prices can be explained by changes in the number of network systems administrators in the Show-Me State.
In typical statistical fashion, our p-value of less than 0.01 has thrown open the doors of curiosity wide enough for even the most skeptical Wall Street skeptic to slip through. This p-value is so low, it's practically doing limbo under the bar of conventional significance – talk about setting the statistical bar high!
To visually capture this surprising correlation, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that graphically depicts the dance of data points showcasing the affinity between the number of network systems administrators and the stock price of Hess Corporation. This figure serves as a testament to the harmonious relationship we've uncovered, where knots and nodes interconnect to produce a symphony of statistical serendipity.
The implications of these findings are as intriguing as a cryptic line of code in a programmer's script. The connection between the number of network systems administrators and stock prices is a revelation that beckons us to investigate further. This correlation challenges traditional financial and technological paradigms, creating a captivating puzzle that demands to be solved with the wits of a seasoned trader and the savvy of a tech virtuoso.
It seems that in the jazzy world of finance, even the most unexpected players can join in the rhythm of market movements, proving that when it comes to statistical surprises, sometimes it's the seemingly unrelated variables that lead to the most extraordinary discoveries.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our research into the correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES) has unraveled a connection as intriguing as an elusive bug in a complex software system. The robust correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 have not only raised eyebrows but also prompted the formation of many a quizzical furrow, akin to a cryptic code that demands decryption.

The evidence of this unexpected relationship sparks curiosity, much like stumbling upon a forgotten file deep within a labyrinthine directory. The strength of the correlation, as exemplified by the r-squared value of 0.7422175, suggests that the variability in HES stock prices is as entwined with the number of network systems administrators in the Show-Me State as a pair of inseparable data packets hurtling through cyberspace.

Our findings, encapsulated in the scatterplot presented in Figure 1, accentuate the dance of data points in a choreography that echoes the unpredictable rhythm of market movements. This discovery challenges traditional paradigms and beckons us to further explore the uncharted territories where the tech-savvy meet the financially inclined.

While this study highlights a captivating correlation, it's essential to acknowledge the limitations of our research. Despite the statistical strength of our findings, causation cannot be inferred from correlation alone. We must resist the temptation to jump to hasty conclusions, much like resisting the urge to hastily implement a patch before thorough testing.

In light of these exciting discoveries, we advocate for continued exploration of unconventional connections in the financial world. However, it's important to tread carefully, much like debugging a prodigious codebase – one misplaced semicolon could wreak havoc.

In the spirit of statistical jest, we assert with unwavering confidence that no further research in this area is needed. After all, in the enigmatic tango of statistics and whimsy, sometimes it's the curiosity itself that provides the most delightful interlude.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

The Journal of Corporate Computing and Stock Strategies


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Digital Infrastructure Management


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Navigating the Nexus between Network Systems Administrators and Hess Corporation's Hefty Stock with an abstract of This paper investigates the curious correlation between the number of network systems administrators in Missouri and the stock price of the Hess Corporation (HES). Utilizing data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv), we embarked on this tango between tech professionals and stock performances. Our research team discovered a surprising correlation coefficient of 0.8615205 and a p-value less than 0.01 for the time span spanning from 2003 to 2020. This finding not only ignites curiosity but also raises eyebrows, prompting further exploration into the whimsical relationship between the number of system administrators and the value of HES stock. This study aims to tickle the fancy of financial and tech enthusiasts alike, showing that sometimes the seemingly unrelated can indeed tango together in the financial world. So, let's dive into the nerdy realm of network admin numbers and stock swings and decipher whether it's all just a jazzy coincidence or the makings of a quirky financial theory.

ChatGPT:

"network systems administrators Missouri correlation", "Hess Corporation stock price correlation", "Bureau of Labor Statistics network systems administrators data", "LSEG Analytics stock price data", "correlation coefficient stock price network admins", "relationship between system administrators and stock performance", "financial theory network admins stock price correlation"

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of network systems administrators in Missouri
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of network and computer systems administrators in Missouri
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of network systems administrators in Missouri

Hess Corporation's stock price (HES)
Detailed data title: Opening price of Hess Corporation (HES) on the first trading day of the year
Source: LSEG Analytics (Refinitiv)
Additional Info: Via Microsoft Excel Stockhistory function

See what else correlates with Hess Corporation's stock price (HES)

Correlation r = 0.8615205 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.7422175 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 74.2% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Hess Corporation's stock price (HES)) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of network systems administrators in Missouri) over the 18 years from 2003 through 2020.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 4.4E-6. 0.0000043632671732986406000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.86 in 0.00044% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 229,186 random variables You don't actually need 229 thousand variables to find a correlation like this one. I don't have that many variables in my database. You can also correlate variables that are not independent. I do this a lot.

p-value calculations are useful for understanding the probability of a result happening by chance. They are most useful when used to highlight the risk of a fluke outcome. For example, if you calculate a p-value of 0.30, the risk that the result is a fluke is high. It is good to know that! But there are lots of ways to get a p-value of less than 0.01, as evidenced by this project.

In this particular case, the values are so extreme as to be meaningless. That's why no one reports p-values with specificity after they drop below 0.01.

Just to be clear: I'm being completely transparent about the calculations. There is no math trickery. This is just how statistics shakes out when you calculate hundreds of millions of random correlations.
with the same 17 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 17 because we have two variables measured over a period of 18 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.66, 0.95 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
200320042005200620072008200920102011201220132014201520162017201820192020
The number of network systems administrators in Missouri (Laborers)522062606510805081909530870082408510801080808180842076207840712067607710
Hess Corporation's stock price (HES) (Stock price)18.1317.7527.3342.8348.85100.0753.9161.8477.9458.7254.1382.9573.1948.463.3847.9739.2967.51




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Y-axis doesn't start at zero: I truncated the Y-axes of the graph above. I also used a line graph, which makes the visual connection stand out more than it deserves. Nothing against line graphs. They are great at telling a story when you have linear data! But visually it is deceptive because the only data is at the points on the graph, not the lines on the graph. In between each point, the data could have been doing anything. Like going for a random walk by itself!
    Mathematically what I showed is true, but it is intentionally misleading. Below is the same chart but with both Y-axes starting at zero.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([5220,6260,6510,8050,8190,9530,8700,8240,8510,8010,8080,8180,8420,7620,7840,7120,6760,7710,])
array_2 = np.array([18.13,17.75,27.33,42.83,48.85,100.07,53.91,61.84,77.94,58.72,54.13,82.95,73.19,48.4,63.38,47.97,39.29,67.51,])
array_1_name = "The number of network systems administrators in Missouri"
array_2_name = "Hess Corporation's stock price (HES)"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 3487 · Black Variable ID: 10391 · Red Variable ID: 1729
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