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Spurious correlation #2,956 · View random

A linear line chart with years as the X-axis and two variables on the Y-axis. The first variable is The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and the second variable is Wins for the Washington Nationals.  The chart goes from 2003 to 2022, and the two variables track closely in value over that time. Small Image
Download png
, svg

AI explanation

As the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia increased, there was a corresponding rise in the overall efficiency of snack and beverage production at the baseball games. This, in turn, led to better satisfaction among the fans, who were now receiving their hot dogs, popcorn, and drinks in record time. The fans, feeling the swift and smooth flow of refreshments, began to exhibit higher levels of enthusiasm and support for the team. This ultimately translated into a boost in morale for the Washington Nationals players, as they could feel the unwavering energy and excitement from the stands. As a result, the team experienced an uptick in wins, proving that behind every successful baseball game, there's a team of clerks expediting the path to victory!

Model: dalle-3
Prompt: Create a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s, depicting a lively scene in the bustling streets of District of Columbia. A team of production, planning, and expediting clerks are depicted working diligently, coordinating and organizing shipments and logistics with precision, while at Nationals Park, the Washington Nationals are seen celebrating a thrilling win. The clerks' efficient work behind the scenes ensured everything ran smoothly, allowing the team to secure victory after victory. The illustration should showcase the clerks working in an organized office environment with a backdrop of the city streets' hustle and bustle, while in the distance, Nationals Park is visible with the team and cheering spectators. The depiction should include only scenes, people, and objects, it should not include text or speech bubbles.
This image generation prompt was also generated by AI, using the following sequence:

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You select one of a few potential scene descriptors that seems to go along with the variables described. You respond only with the scene descriptions provided and say nothing else.
User prompt: Here are two variables: The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Given these, which of the following image style descriptions seems most appropriate? Pick the one that seems to be related to one of the variables at hand. Please respond with only one of the following potential descriptions: Parallax art a funny image you would see on reddit Whimsical illustration Futuristic A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s
ChatGPT: A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You describe simple visual scenes that depict the two variables stated. You combine both variables into one scene.
User prompt: Please describe a visual scene that prominently depicts both The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals, in the following situation: Because the increased number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia led to better coordination and organization, which translated to improved logistics for the Washington Nationals. This allowed the team to "clerk" up more wins by ensuring that everything was in place and ready to go, giving them a real "clerk" of the competition.. Keep the description simple.
ChatGPT: In the bustling streets of District of Columbia, a team of production, planning, and expediting clerks are working diligently, coordinating and organizing shipments and logistics with precision. Meanwhile, at Nationals Park, the Washington Nationals are celebrating a thrilling win. The clerks' efficient work behind the scenes ensured everything ran smoothly, allowing the team to secure victory after victory.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You write and improve image generation prompts for DALLE-3. You maintain the same subjects, but enhance the visuals.
User prompt: Please respond with an image generation prompt that would be likely to create an interesting visual using DALLE-3, using the following style: [ A comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s ] and depicting this scene: In the bustling streets of District of Columbia, a team of production, planning, and expediting clerks are working diligently, coordinating and organizing shipments and logistics with precision. Meanwhile, at Nationals Park, the Washington Nationals are celebrating a thrilling win. The clerks' efficient work behind the scenes ensured everything ran smoothly, allowing the team to secure victory after victory. Keep the visual depiction simple. Do not include any words or speech bubbles.
ChatGPT: Create a comic-book-style illustration with muted colors and a dotted halftone pattern from the 1960s, depicting a lively scene in the bustling streets of District of Columbia. A team of production, planning, and expediting clerks are depicted working diligently, coordinating and organizing shipments and logistics with precision, while at Nationals Park, the Washington Nationals are seen celebrating a thrilling win. The clerks' efficient work behind the scenes ensured everything ran smoothly, allowing the team to secure victory after victory. The illustration should showcase the clerks working in an organized office environment with a backdrop of the city streets' hustle and bustle, while in the distance, Nationals Park is visible with the team and cheering spectators.

*Variations in the User Prompts from chart to chart are just the result of random number generation in Python. I wrote a few arrays of various styles and methods to ask questions to change up the results. Every time this site writes an explanation or generates an image, the script picks from each at random.

I sequence the requests into multiple prompts because I find GPT 3.5 to perform much better with short, well-managed contexts. Thus, I track the context directly in Python and only ask ChatGPT targeted questions.

Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106 (fine-tuned)
System prompt: You provide humorous responses in the form of plausible sounding explanations for correlations. You assume the correlation is causative for the purpose of the explanation even if it is ridiculous. You do not chat with the user, you only reply with the causal connection explanation and nothing else.
User prompt: Please make up a funny explanation for how increases in The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia positively influenced Wins for the Washington Nationals.\Make it sound serious until the end.

AI academic paper

(Because p < 0.01)
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

Journal of Quirky Statistics

Jan 2024

Reminder: This paper is AI-generated. Not real!
Quick note: This sequence is long and repetitive. That's how the prompt engineering works for this one. I manage the output in Python to format it into this PDF.




Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You write titles and abstracts of goofy academic research papers.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, and add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please draft the title and abstract of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Rhyme words in the title.

Your research team used data from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to assess this nagging question. You found a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381 and p < 0.01 for 2003 to 2022.

Please respond in this format (replace "Lorem ipsum dolor sit" with your title and abstract)

[[TITLE]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit

[[ABSTRACT]]
Lorem ipsum dolor sit



ChatGPT:
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the introduction section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the introduction section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[INTRODUCTION]]



ChatGPT:
[[INTRODUCTION]]

On the wacky intersection of clerical work and America's favorite pastime lies an enigmatic correlation that has confounded scholars and baseball enthusiasts alike. As we venture into the realm of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia, we endeavor to unravel the perplexing relationship between their numbers and the wins accumulated by the Washington Nationals. This peculiar inquiry into the interconnectedness of administrative staffing and baseball triumphs promises to provide an amusing and, dare I say, clerical experience.

Prosperous baseball seasons and bustling clerical flurries seem worlds apart, yet the enigmatic numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com seemed to suggest otherwise. With a sprinkle of statistical stardust and a dash of whimsy, we pored over the data from 2003 to 2022, hoping to uncover a connection more compelling than a seamlessly organized filing system.

The very notion that the number of stock clerks might bear any weight on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals is an entirely unexpected twist in the narrative of baseball statistics. Nevertheless, our statistical analysis has yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, leaving us bobbing our heads in amusement as we consider the possibility that stock clerks might be the unsung heroes behind the cheering crowds.

As we embark on this research expedition, let us not forget that amidst the sea of numbers and correlation coefficients lies a lighthearted journey through the bizarre and the delightful. So, grab your calculators and baseball caps as we uncover the whimsical link between clerical staffing numbers and the crack of the bat. Fasten your seatbelts, for the statistical rollercoaster ride is about to commence!


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft a literature review section of an academic research paper, that starts out dry for the first few sentences but then becomes hilarious and goofy.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a literature review section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns.

Speak in the present tense for this section (the authors find...), as is common in academic research paper literature reviews. Name the sources in a format similar to this: In "Book," the authors find lorem and ipsum.

Make up the lorem and ipsum part, but make it sound related to the topic at hand.

Start by naming serious-sounding studies by authors like Smith, Doe, and Jones - but then quickly devolve. Name some real non-fiction books that would be related to the topic. Then name some real fiction books that sound like they could be related. Then name a couple popular internet memes that are related to one of the topics.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

-------

And here is the introduction section that led to this literature review:
[[INTRODUCTION]]
On the wacky intersection of clerical work and America's favorite pastime lies an enigmatic correlation that has confounded scholars and baseball enthusiasts alike. As we venture into the realm of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia, we endeavor to unravel the perplexing relationship between their numbers and the wins accumulated by the Washington Nationals. This peculiar inquiry into the interconnectedness of administrative staffing and baseball triumphs promises to provide an amusing and, dare I say, clerical experience.
Prosperous baseball seasons and bustling clerical flurries seem worlds apart, yet the enigmatic numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com seemed to suggest otherwise. With a sprinkle of statistical stardust and a dash of whimsy, we pored over the data from 2003 to 2022, hoping to uncover a connection more compelling than a seamlessly organized filing system.
The very notion that the number of stock clerks might bear any weight on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals is an entirely unexpected twist in the narrative of baseball statistics. Nevertheless, our statistical analysis has yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, leaving us bobbing our heads in amusement as we consider the possibility that stock clerks might be the unsung heroes behind the cheering crowds.
As we embark on this research expedition, let us not forget that amidst the sea of numbers and correlation coefficients lies a lighthearted journey through the bizarre and the delightful. So, grab your calculators and baseball caps as we uncover the whimsical link between clerical staffing numbers and the crack of the bat. Fasten your seatbelts, for the statistical rollercoaster ride is about to commence!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]



ChatGPT:
[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]

The authors find in "The Influence of Administrative Support on Organizational Performance" by Smith et al. a comprehensive examination of the impact of administrative staffing levels on various organizational outcomes. While the focus is not specifically on baseball victories, the study provides valuable insights into the potential influence of clerical staffing. However, delving deeper into this area, the authors turned to a more playful source in "Clerks and Winning: A Comedic Analysis of Baseball's Quirkiest Connection" by Doe and Jones, where the hilarious exploration of clerical staffing numbers and their supposed link to sports victories offers a refreshing and light-hearted take on the subject matter.

On a more unconventional note, the research also draws from non-fiction works such as "Big Data, Big Wins: A Statistical Insight into Sports Success" and "Wins, Wickets, and Workforces: An Unlikely Trio in Sporting Achievements" to gain a broader understanding of statistical analyses in the realm of sports performance. Additionally, fictional narratives such as "The Clerks of Victory" and "The Statistical Slugger's Guide to Wins" provide a whimsical glimpse into the curious intersection of clerical support and athletic achievements.

Moreover, a notable meme "The Surprised Stock Clerk" has gained popularity online for its amusing portrayal of clerical situations, albeit not directly related to baseball success. Nevertheless, the levity and amusement encapsulated in this meme align with the spirit of this study, as we navigate the unorthodox and occasionally surreal landscape of clerical staffing and baseball triumphs.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the methodology section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the methodology section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com . You used data from 2003 to 2022

Make up the research methods you don't know. Make them a bit goofy and convoluted.

Here is the title, abstract, and introduction of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

[[INTRODUCTION]]
On the wacky intersection of clerical work and America's favorite pastime lies an enigmatic correlation that has confounded scholars and baseball enthusiasts alike. As we venture into the realm of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia, we endeavor to unravel the perplexing relationship between their numbers and the wins accumulated by the Washington Nationals. This peculiar inquiry into the interconnectedness of administrative staffing and baseball triumphs promises to provide an amusing and, dare I say, clerical experience.
Prosperous baseball seasons and bustling clerical flurries seem worlds apart, yet the enigmatic numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com seemed to suggest otherwise. With a sprinkle of statistical stardust and a dash of whimsy, we pored over the data from 2003 to 2022, hoping to uncover a connection more compelling than a seamlessly organized filing system.
The very notion that the number of stock clerks might bear any weight on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals is an entirely unexpected twist in the narrative of baseball statistics. Nevertheless, our statistical analysis has yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, leaving us bobbing our heads in amusement as we consider the possibility that stock clerks might be the unsung heroes behind the cheering crowds.
As we embark on this research expedition, let us not forget that amidst the sea of numbers and correlation coefficients lies a lighthearted journey through the bizarre and the delightful. So, grab your calculators and baseball caps as we uncover the whimsical link between clerical staffing numbers and the crack of the bat. Fasten your seatbelts, for the statistical rollercoaster ride is about to commence!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[METHODOLOGY]]



ChatGPT:

[[METHODOLOGY]]

In our quest to uncover the potential relationship between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins for the Washington Nationals, our research approach involved a lighthearted yet rigorous analysis of statistical data. Our data collection spanned from 2003 to 2022, and we compiled information primarily from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com.

To commence this quirky endeavor, we first obtained detailed employment and wage estimates for production, planning, and expediting clerks from the Bureau of Labor Statistics. These estimates provided us with the number of clerks employed in the District of Columbia for each year of our study, allowing us to observe any peculiar trends that may coincide with the noteworthy exploits of the Washington Nationals on the baseball field.

Concurrently, we delved into the mystical world of baseball statistics by extracting the wins and losses accrued by the Washington Nationals for the same period from Baseball-Reference.com. This allowed us to capture the ebbs and flows of the team's successes and setbacks, seeking any whimsical connections with the staffing numbers of the clerical realm.

Our analysis method involved a charming concoction of statistical techniques, including correlation analysis and time-series modeling. In essence, we delved into the data with as much fervor as a fan cheering on a grand slam while crunching numbers in the bleachers. We calculated the correlation coefficient between the number of clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins, leaving no stone unturned in our exploration for statistical surprises.

Moreover, we cautiously considered potential confounding factors, recognizing that the world of baseball and employment numbers is fraught with unexpected twists and turns. We sought to ensure that our findings were not merely a statistical curveball, but rather a genuine manifestation of an entrancing correlation.

With an abundance of wit and whimsy, we navigated through the data, birthing chuckles and surprise as we uncovered the potential link between clerical staffing numbers and the remarkable victories of the Washington Nationals on the baseball diamond. Our approach to this investigation was as rigorous as it was entertaining, encapsulating the essence of statistical exploration while infusing a touch of levity into our pursuit of knowledge.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the results section of an academic research paper. You speak in the past tense (you found...).
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the results section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Your research team collected data from all across the internet, but mostly just used information from Bureau of Larbor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com .

For the time period 2003 to 2022, you found a correlation 0.7115381, r-squared of 0.5062865, and p < 0.01.

One figure will be included. The figure (Fig. 1) is a scatterplot showing the strong correlation between the two variables. You don't need to specify where; I will add the figure.

Here is the title and abstract of the paper:
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

-------

And here is the methodology section that led to this result:
[[METHODOLOGY]]
On the wacky intersection of clerical work and America's favorite pastime lies an enigmatic correlation that has confounded scholars and baseball enthusiasts alike. As we venture into the realm of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia, we endeavor to unravel the perplexing relationship between their numbers and the wins accumulated by the Washington Nationals. This peculiar inquiry into the interconnectedness of administrative staffing and baseball triumphs promises to provide an amusing and, dare I say, clerical experience.
Prosperous baseball seasons and bustling clerical flurries seem worlds apart, yet the enigmatic numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com seemed to suggest otherwise. With a sprinkle of statistical stardust and a dash of whimsy, we pored over the data from 2003 to 2022, hoping to uncover a connection more compelling than a seamlessly organized filing system.
The very notion that the number of stock clerks might bear any weight on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals is an entirely unexpected twist in the narrative of baseball statistics. Nevertheless, our statistical analysis has yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, leaving us bobbing our heads in amusement as we consider the possibility that stock clerks might be the unsung heroes behind the cheering crowds.
As we embark on this research expedition, let us not forget that amidst the sea of numbers and correlation coefficients lies a lighthearted journey through the bizarre and the delightful. So, grab your calculators and baseball caps as we uncover the whimsical link between clerical staffing numbers and the crack of the bat. Fasten your seatbelts, for the statistical rollercoaster ride is about to commence!

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[RESULTS]]



ChatGPT:

[[RESULTS]]

The correlation analysis between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins accrued by the Washington Nationals from 2003 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, indicating a moderate positive relationship between these two seemingly disparate variables. Our compelling findings have peeled back the curtain to reveal the tantalizing possibility that the diligent clerical staffing may, in fact, play a role in the fortunes of the beloved Washington Nationals.

The r-squared value of 0.5062865 further underscores the robustness of this relationship, explaining over 50% of the variance in the number of wins by the Nationals. This statistical nugget tantalizingly hints at the intriguing notion that the bustling activity of stock clerks might hold untold sway over the fate of baseball games, a notion that tickles the funny bone as much as it piques scientific curiosity.

With a p-value of less than 0.01, our analysis has uncovered a statistically significant relationship between these variables, prompting a raised eyebrow and perhaps a bemused chuckle at the improbable yet captivating association between clerical duties and on-field triumphs.

In the illustrious tradition of academic research, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins for the Washington Nationals. The scatterplot adds a splash of whimsy to the steadfast world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even in the unyielding grasp of data points and regression lines, there’s room for a bit of mirth and wonder.

Our findings stand as a testament to the unexpected quirks and eccentricities that lie within the realm of statistical correlations, breathing life into the notion that be it on the office floor or the baseball diamond, the subtle dance of clerical numbers may hold unforeseen influence over the rhythm of victories for our beloved Washington Nationals.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of an academic research paper.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up the discussion section of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 500 tokens.

Here are the title, abstract, literature review, and results sections. Please harken back to 1-2 of the goofy items in the literature review, but pretend to take them completely seriously. Discuss how your results supported the prior research.

Do not write a conclusion. I will add a conclusion after this.

[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

[[LITERATURE REVIEW]]
The authors find in "The Influence of Administrative Support on Organizational Performance" by Smith et al. a comprehensive examination of the impact of administrative staffing levels on various organizational outcomes. While the focus is not specifically on baseball victories, the study provides valuable insights into the potential influence of clerical staffing. However, delving deeper into this area, the authors turned to a more playful source in "Clerks and Winning: A Comedic Analysis of Baseball's Quirkiest Connection" by Doe and Jones, where the hilarious exploration of clerical staffing numbers and their supposed link to sports victories offers a refreshing and light-hearted take on the subject matter.
On a more unconventional note, the research also draws from non-fiction works such as "Big Data, Big Wins: A Statistical Insight into Sports Success" and "Wins, Wickets, and Workforces: An Unlikely Trio in Sporting Achievements" to gain a broader understanding of statistical analyses in the realm of sports performance. Additionally, fictional narratives such as "The Clerks of Victory" and "The Statistical Slugger's Guide to Wins" provide a whimsical glimpse into the curious intersection of clerical support and athletic achievements.
Moreover, a notable meme "The Surprised Stock Clerk" has gained popularity online for its amusing portrayal of clerical situations, albeit not directly related to baseball success. Nevertheless, the levity and amusement encapsulated in this meme align with the spirit of this study, as we navigate the unorthodox and occasionally surreal landscape of clerical staffing and baseball triumphs.

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins accrued by the Washington Nationals from 2003 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, indicating a moderate positive relationship between these two seemingly disparate variables. Our compelling findings have peeled back the curtain to reveal the tantalizing possibility that the diligent clerical staffing may, in fact, play a role in the fortunes of the beloved Washington Nationals.
The r-squared value of 0.5062865 further underscores the robustness of this relationship, explaining over 50% of the variance in the number of wins by the Nationals. This statistical nugget tantalizingly hints at the intriguing notion that the bustling activity of stock clerks might hold untold sway over the fate of baseball games, a notion that tickles the funny bone as much as it piques scientific curiosity.
With a p-value of less than 0.01, our analysis has uncovered a statistically significant relationship between these variables, prompting a raised eyebrow and perhaps a bemused chuckle at the improbable yet captivating association between clerical duties and on-field triumphs.
In the illustrious tradition of academic research, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins for the Washington Nationals. The scatterplot adds a splash of whimsy to the steadfast world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even in the unyielding grasp of data points and regression lines, there’s room for a bit of mirth and wonder.
Our findings stand as a testament to the unexpected quirks and eccentricities that lie within the realm of statistical correlations, breathing life into the notion that be it on the office floor or the baseball diamond, the subtle dance of clerical numbers may hold unforeseen influence over the rhythm of victories for our beloved Washington Nationals.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[DISCUSSION]]



ChatGPT:

The discovery of a significant positive correlation between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins accrued by the Washington Nationals from 2003 to 2022 is an intriguing revelation that certainly tickles the statistical funny bone. The modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381 and the p-value of less than 0.01 align with the whimsical speculations put forth by the delightfully playful "Clerks and Winning: A Comedic Analysis of Baseball's Quirkiest Connection" by Doe and Jones. While their approach may have been more light-hearted, our rigorous statistical analysis has fervently supported the notion that clerical staffing and baseball successes may share a deeper bond than previously imagined.

It's apparent that the bustling activity of stock clerks might indeed hold sway over the fate of baseball games, a realization that prompts us to extend a nod of appreciation to the levity and amusement encapsulated in "The Surprised Stock Clerk" meme. This study showcases a tantalizing possibility that even the most lighthearted of musings can find grounding in empirical analysis, adding a genuine twist to the expected norms of statistical research.

Moreover, the r-squared value of 0.5062865 emphasizes the substantive impact of clerical staffing on the Washington Nationals' victories, further enlivening the narrative of this unlikely connection. The visual aid of the scatterplot in Fig. 1 not only provides a straightforward representation of the correlation but also injects a playful quality into the steadfast world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even in the most serious of pursuits, there's room for a bit of mirth and wonder.

In line with the unconventional spirit of this study, our findings serve as a testament to the unexpected quirks and eccentricities that lie within the realm of statistical correlations, breathing life into the notion that be it on the office floor or the baseball diamond, the subtle dance of clerical numbers may hold unforeseen influence over the rhythm of victories for our beloved Washington Nationals. This study bridges the gap between scholarly pursuits and lighthearted curiosities, ultimately highlighting the peculiar yet captivating association between clerical duties and on-field triumphs.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You are a researcher writing an academic paper.You draft the discussion section of goofy academic research papers that sounds like it belongs based on the title and abstract provided.
User prompt:
Pretend you are an academic researcher. Your writing sounds like it belongs in a medical or economics journal. However, you frequently crack jokes, make puns, or add unexpected twists in your writing.

Please make up a short conclusion of an academic research paper presenting the findings of the connection between The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia and Wins for the Washington Nationals. Make lots of jokes, goofy observations, and puns. Stay serious and dry most of the time, but then occasionally let your wit shine through.

Limit your response to 300 tokens. At the very end, assert that no more research is needed in this area.

Here are the title, abstract, introduction, and results sections.
[[TITLE]]
Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories

[[ABSTRACT]]
In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

[[INTRDUCTION]]
On the wacky intersection of clerical work and America's favorite pastime lies an enigmatic correlation that has confounded scholars and baseball enthusiasts alike. As we venture into the realm of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia, we endeavor to unravel the perplexing relationship between their numbers and the wins accumulated by the Washington Nationals. This peculiar inquiry into the interconnectedness of administrative staffing and baseball triumphs promises to provide an amusing and, dare I say, clerical experience.
Prosperous baseball seasons and bustling clerical flurries seem worlds apart, yet the enigmatic numbers from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com seemed to suggest otherwise. With a sprinkle of statistical stardust and a dash of whimsy, we pored over the data from 2003 to 2022, hoping to uncover a connection more compelling than a seamlessly organized filing system.
The very notion that the number of stock clerks might bear any weight on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals is an entirely unexpected twist in the narrative of baseball statistics. Nevertheless, our statistical analysis has yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, leaving us bobbing our heads in amusement as we consider the possibility that stock clerks might be the unsung heroes behind the cheering crowds.
As we embark on this research expedition, let us not forget that amidst the sea of numbers and correlation coefficients lies a lighthearted journey through the bizarre and the delightful. So, grab your calculators and baseball caps as we uncover the whimsical link between clerical staffing numbers and the crack of the bat. Fasten your seatbelts, for the statistical rollercoaster ride is about to commence!

[[RESULTS]]
The correlation analysis between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins accrued by the Washington Nationals from 2003 to 2022 yielded a correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, indicating a moderate positive relationship between these two seemingly disparate variables. Our compelling findings have peeled back the curtain to reveal the tantalizing possibility that the diligent clerical staffing may, in fact, play a role in the fortunes of the beloved Washington Nationals.
The r-squared value of 0.5062865 further underscores the robustness of this relationship, explaining over 50% of the variance in the number of wins by the Nationals. This statistical nugget tantalizingly hints at the intriguing notion that the bustling activity of stock clerks might hold untold sway over the fate of baseball games, a notion that tickles the funny bone as much as it piques scientific curiosity.
With a p-value of less than 0.01, our analysis has uncovered a statistically significant relationship between these variables, prompting a raised eyebrow and perhaps a bemused chuckle at the improbable yet captivating association between clerical duties and on-field triumphs.
In the illustrious tradition of academic research, we present Fig. 1, a scatterplot that visually encapsulates the strong positive correlation between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the wins for the Washington Nationals. The scatterplot adds a splash of whimsy to the steadfast world of statistical analysis, reminding us that even in the unyielding grasp of data points and regression lines, there’s room for a bit of mirth and wonder.
Our findings stand as a testament to the unexpected quirks and eccentricities that lie within the realm of statistical correlations, breathing life into the notion that be it on the office floor or the baseball diamond, the subtle dance of clerical numbers may hold unforeseen influence over the rhythm of victories for our beloved Washington Nationals.

-------

Your response should start like this:

[[CONCLUSION]]



ChatGPT:

[[CONCLUSION]]

In conclusion, our inexplicably delightful foray into the peculiar relationship between the number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and the victories of the Washington Nationals has left us pleasantly puzzled. The correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, coupled with a p-value of less than 0.01, has presented a statistically consistent yet uproariously absurd link between clerical staffing levels and baseball success. Who would have thought that the rhythmic clickety-clack of keyboard strokes and the crack of the bat could be so harmoniously intertwined?

As we hang up our calculators and baseball caps, we can't help but grin at the thought of a world where the ebb and flow of clerical duties waltz in sync with the highs and lows of a baseball season. While our hearts may be lightened by this whimsical discovery, the notion of drafting in more clerks to ensure a winning season might raise a few eyebrows, or even elicit a raucous guffaw. After all, as much as we love statistics, we must remember that correlation does not imply causation, though in this case, we'd love to entertain the notion.

In the grand tradition of scientific inquiry, we are left with a hearty chuckle and a resolute declaration: This paper not only concludes our research but also asserts that no further investigations are warranted in this exceedingly merry and entirely preposterous domain of study. As Charles Dickens said, "The whole difference between construction and creation is exactly this: That a thing constructed can only be loved after it is constructed, but a thing created is loved before it exists." In this case, the hilariously unforeseen connection between clerks and victories has enchanted us before it could even be fully constructed, leaving us all the more bewitched by the unpredictable enchantments of statistical inquiry.


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of academic journals. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding research, scientific, or academic journal that would publish a paper entited Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories. Respond only with the name of a fictional academic journal.

ChatGPT:

Journal of Quirky Statistics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide fictional names of nonprofit research organizations and associations. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide the name of a funny but plausible sounding nonprofit, academic, or scientific association or organization that would sponsor research that resulted in a paper entited Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories. Respond only with the name of a fictional organization.

ChatGPT:

The Institute for Economic Studies and Baseball Analytics


Model: gpt-3.5-turbo-1106
System prompt: You provide potential search keywords separated by commas. You say nothing else, and you do not chat with the user.
User prompt: Please provide potential search keywords for a paper titled Tick Tock, Stock Clerks, and Home Runs: A Statistical Analysis of Production Clerks and Washington Nationals' Victories with an abstract of In this entertaining paper, we delved into the whimsical world of production, planning, and expediting clerks in the District of Columbia and their supposed influence on the triumphs of the Washington Nationals. With a keen eye for wordplay and wit, we analyzed data from the Bureau of Labor Statistics and Baseball-Reference.com to explore the remarkable correlation between the number of stock clerks and the Washington Nationals' wins from 2003 to 2022. Our findings reveal a modest correlation coefficient of 0.7115381, with a p-value of less than 0.01, leaving us to marvel at the quirky possibility of a connection between clerical staffing numbers and baseball success. Join us in this lighthearted journey through statistics and sports as we uncover the delightful link between the rise of clerks and the rise to victory for the Washington Nationals.

ChatGPT:

Stock clerk, production clerks, Bureau of Labor Statistics, Baseball-Reference, statistical analysis, clerical staffing, Washington Nationals wins, correlation coefficient, baseball success, data analysis, whimsical influence, clerical staffing numbers

*There is a bunch of Python happening behind the scenes to turn this prompt sequence into a PDF.



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Data details

The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia
Detailed data title: BLS estimate of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia
Source: Bureau of Larbor Statistics
See what else correlates with The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia

Wins for the Washington Nationals
Detailed data title: The total number of season wins for the Washington Nationals
Source: Baseball-Reference.com
See what else correlates with Wins for the Washington Nationals

Correlation r = 0.7115381 (Pearson correlation coefficient)
Correlation is a measure of how much the variables move together. If it is 0.99, when one goes up the other goes up. If it is 0.02, the connection is very weak or non-existent. If it is -0.99, then when one goes up the other goes down. If it is 1.00, you probably messed up your correlation function.

r2 = 0.5062865 (Coefficient of determination)
This means 50.6% of the change in the one variable (i.e., Wins for the Washington Nationals) is predictable based on the change in the other (i.e., The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia) over the 20 years from 2003 through 2022.

p < 0.01, which is statistically significant(Null hypothesis significance test)
The p-value is 0.00043. 0.0004346261400096787300000000
The p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme. More specifically the p-value is a measure of how probable it is that we would randomly find a result this extreme if we had only tested one pair of variables one time.

But I am a p-villain. I absolutely did not test only one pair of variables one time. I correlated hundreds of millions of pairs of variables. I threw boatloads of data into an industrial-sized blender to find this correlation.

Who is going to stop me? p-value reporting doesn't require me to report how many calculations I had to go through in order to find a low p-value!
On average, you will find a correaltion as strong as 0.71 in 0.043% of random cases. Said differently, if you correlated 2,301 random variables Which I absolutely did.
with the same 19 degrees of freedom, Degrees of freedom is a measure of how many free components we are testing. In this case it is 19 because we have two variables measured over a period of 20 years. It's just the number of years minus ( the number of variables minus one ), which in this case simplifies to the number of years minus one.
you would randomly expect to find a correlation as strong as this one.

[ 0.39, 0.88 ] 95% correlation confidence interval (using the Fisher z-transformation)
The confidence interval is an estimate the range of the value of the correlation coefficient, using the correlation itself as an input. The values are meant to be the low and high end of the correlation coefficient with 95% confidence.

This one is a bit more complciated than the other calculations, but I include it because many people have been pushing for confidence intervals instead of p-value calculations (for example: NEJM. However, if you are dredging data, you can reliably find yourself in the 5%. That's my goal!


All values for the years included above: If I were being very sneaky, I could trim years from the beginning or end of the datasets to increase the correlation on some pairs of variables. I don't do that because there are already plenty of correlations in my database without monkeying with the years.

Still, sometimes one of the variables has more years of data available than the other. This page only shows the overlapping years. To see all the years, click on "See what else correlates with..." link above.
20032004200520062007200820092010201120122013201420152016201720182019202020212022
The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia (Laborers)4706606105004103704205206308507006807008901070730670500450380
Wins for the Washington Nationals (Game wins)8367817173595969809886968395978293266555




Why this works

  1. Data dredging: I have 25,153 variables in my database. I compare all these variables against each other to find ones that randomly match up. That's 632,673,409 correlation calculations! This is called “data dredging.” Instead of starting with a hypothesis and testing it, I instead abused the data to see what correlations shake out. It’s a dangerous way to go about analysis, because any sufficiently large dataset will yield strong correlations completely at random.
  2. Lack of causal connection: There is probably Because these pages are automatically generated, it's possible that the two variables you are viewing are in fact causually related. I take steps to prevent the obvious ones from showing on the site (I don't let data about the weather in one city correlate with the weather in a neighboring city, for example), but sometimes they still pop up. If they are related, cool! You found a loophole.
    no direct connection between these variables, despite what the AI says above. This is exacerbated by the fact that I used "Years" as the base variable. Lots of things happen in a year that are not related to each other! Most studies would use something like "one person" in stead of "one year" to be the "thing" studied.
  3. Observations not independent: For many variables, sequential years are not independent of each other. If a population of people is continuously doing something every day, there is no reason to think they would suddenly change how they are doing that thing on January 1. A simple Personally I don't find any p-value calculation to be 'simple,' but you know what I mean.
    p-value calculation does not take this into account, so mathematically it appears less probable than it really is.
  4. Outlandish outliers: There are "outliers" in this data. In concept, "outlier" just means "way different than the rest of your dataset." When calculating a correlation like this, they are particularly impactful because a single outlier can substantially increase your correlation.

    For the purposes of this project, I counted a point as an outlier if it the residual was two standard deviations from the mean.

    (This bullet point only shows up in the details page on charts that do, in fact, have outliers.)
    They stand out on the scatterplot above: notice the dots that are far away from any other dots. I intentionally mishandeled outliers, which makes the correlation look extra strong.




Try it yourself

You can calculate the values on this page on your own! Try running the Python code to see the calculation results. Step 1: Download and install Python on your computer.

Step 2: Open a plaintext editor like Notepad and paste the code below into it.

Step 3: Save the file as "calculate_correlation.py" in a place you will remember, like your desktop. Copy the file location to your clipboard. On Windows, you can right-click the file and click "Properties," and then copy what comes after "Location:" As an example, on my computer the location is "C:\Users\tyler\Desktop"

Step 4: Open a command line window. For example, by pressing start and typing "cmd" and them pressing enter.

Step 5: Install the required modules by typing "pip install numpy", then pressing enter, then typing "pip install scipy", then pressing enter.

Step 6: Navigate to the location where you saved the Python file by using the "cd" command. For example, I would type "cd C:\Users\tyler\Desktop" and push enter.

Step 7: Run the Python script by typing "python calculate_correlation.py"

If you run into any issues, I suggest asking ChatGPT to walk you through installing Python and running the code below on your system. Try this question:

"Walk me through installing Python on my computer to run a script that uses scipy and numpy. Go step-by-step and ask me to confirm before moving on. Start by asking me questions about my operating system so that you know how to proceed. Assume I want the simplest installation with the latest version of Python and that I do not currently have any of the necessary elements installed. Remember to only give me one step per response and confirm I have done it before proceeding."


# These modules make it easier to perform the calculation
import numpy as np
from scipy import stats

# We'll define a function that we can call to return the correlation calculations
def calculate_correlation(array1, array2):

    # Calculate Pearson correlation coefficient and p-value
    correlation, p_value = stats.pearsonr(array1, array2)

    # Calculate R-squared as the square of the correlation coefficient
    r_squared = correlation**2

    return correlation, r_squared, p_value

# These are the arrays for the variables shown on this page, but you can modify them to be any two sets of numbers
array_1 = np.array([470,660,610,500,410,370,420,520,630,850,700,680,700,890,1070,730,670,500,450,380,])
array_2 = np.array([83,67,81,71,73,59,59,69,80,98,86,96,83,95,97,82,93,26,65,55,])
array_1_name = "The number of production, planning, and expediting clerks in District of Columbia"
array_2_name = "Wins for the Washington Nationals"

# Perform the calculation
print(f"Calculating the correlation between {array_1_name} and {array_2_name}...")
correlation, r_squared, p_value = calculate_correlation(array_1, array_2)

# Print the results
print("Correlation Coefficient:", correlation)
print("R-squared:", r_squared)
print("P-value:", p_value)



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You do not need to attribute "the spurious correlations website," and you don't even need to link here if you don't want to. I don't gain anything from pageviews. There are no ads on this site, there is nothing for sale, and I am not for hire.

For the record, I am just one person. Tyler Vigen, he/him/his. I do have degrees, but they should not go after my name unless you want to annoy my wife. If that is your goal, then go ahead and cite me as "Tyler Vigen, A.A. A.A.S. B.A. J.D." Otherwise it is just "Tyler Vigen."

When spoken, my last name is pronounced "vegan," like I don't eat meat.

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Correlation ID: 2956 · Black Variable ID: 6365 · Red Variable ID: 4322
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